Love Story
by NoelleSeven
Summary: Could you still love someone if you never knew what they looked like and they left you when you needed them more than anything else? AH/AU OOC a bit M for the future
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything…what a brilliant woman that Stephenie Meyer is…**

_Prologue_

"_I love you Edward," she whispered, gripping my hand tightly._

"_I love you too Bella." The smile on my face was huge _

_I heard Bella faintly choke back a sob as she gripped my hand tighter._

"_Bella, love, are you alright?"_

_I heard her sniffle again, "Yes Edward. I'm just so happy for you. This is what you always wanted."_

"_What I've always wanted is to know what the beautiful and sexy love of my life really looks like."_

"_Edward…" she muttered like usual, only this time she sounded…sad?_

_I heard a throat clear from the doorway and assumed it must've been Charlie. He had said nothing to me this whole time I was in the hospital, which I thought was strange._

"_Bells, we have to get going," he said roughly._

_Bella didn't respond but I felt her small hands stroking my cheeks softly. I could feel the warmth of her body as she pressed herself forward and placed a kiss on my forehead and then my lips. I responded eagerly. Too soon she pulled back and placed a kiss under my ear before whispering,_

"_I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen…I will ALWAYS love you."_

_I was a little confused by why she was saying it like that, but I responded with my own truth, "I love you Isabella Marie Swan. I can't wait to see you."_

"_Good-bye Edward," she whispered from somewhere near the door._

"_See you soon love." I heard the door close and I smiled to myself as I tried to fall asleep. In a few days time I would be seeing the love of my life. We might only be 19 years old, but Bella was the one for me. She was the first face I wanted to see when these bandages came off. My beautiful Bella._

I woke with a start, sweat on my brow. I kicked the covers off letting the cool air hit my shirtless body. It was weird to dream in complete darkness but to have the sound fully around you. That's how my life was up until 6 years ago when a surgery fixed my eyesight. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. I might as well still be living in complete darkness. The love of my life was gone. I never saw Isabella Swan…and never heard her sweet voice again after that day in the hospital.


	2. Chapter 1: Chasing Pavements

**Okie dokie…here goes. So what do you think so far? First story ever, so ANY thoughts on the subject would be much appreciated (but any crap along the lines of "you suck", "quit writing", etc. will be ignored). Songs in the title are to be kept in mind while reading. ******

**Disclaimer: Don't own it…Stephenie Meyer, you are so lucky…**

_**Chapter 1: Chasing Pavements**_

_**Should I give up**_

_**Or should I just keep chasing pavements**_

_**Even if it leads nowhere**_

_**Would it be a waste even if I knew my place **_

_**Should I leave it there**_

_**Should I give up**_

_**Or should I just keep chasing pavements**_

_**Even if it leads nowhere**_

_**-ADELE, "Chasing Pavements"**_

"Edward!" sang the bell-like voice of the one and only Alice Brandon, "Are you in here?"

I quickly put the journal I was reading down and stepped out of the office into our store here in Chelsea. Nowhere like Chelsea in New York City I sighed. When I bought the space for my art gallery, I didn't know it would be next to a clothing boutique. I met Alice that first day and she suggested that we merge stores. I didn't plan on having a name for my place and her boutique was called, "New Moon", which I liked. Something about the kind of darkness and starting over stuck with me. So I sold my art along side Alice's fashions and occasionally I designed some pictures & prints for her t-shirts and dresses.

"Hey Alice," I said as she stored her bag behind the register.

"You know Edward, you can run this place without me when I go to lunch. We don't have to close for an hour."

"Well, I'm nowhere near the fashion goddess you are so I doubt it if I could help any woman that came in here looking for skinny or boyfriend cut jeans or whatever and the appropriate style of tops to wear with each."

Alice giggled and pushed my shoulder as she went to greet two women who strolled into the store.

I shook my head and walked back into the office. The thought of women coming in here and wanting to try on clothes and asking for my help intimidated me. I was always uncomfortable with women, and even more so now because I could see the advances they were trying to make on me. Bella had always told me I was good looking and that girls were constantly checking me out. But I knew that they would treat me differently if they knew I was blind. That's one of the many reasons why I love Bella. She never treated me any different from the first day that she met me way back in 5th grade.

_Flashback_

"_Don't worry Esme! Edward will be fine!" my father Carlisle said as my mother tried in vain to tame my hair._

"_I can't help it Carlisle! It's Edward's first day here in Forks. They won't have the accommodations for him like his school in Chicago!"_

"_Mom, please don't worry," I mumbled._

"_He will be fine Esme. Edward knows how to handle himself."_

"_Mr. & Mrs. Cullen, ah, and this must be Edward," I heard a new female voice say, "I'm Mrs. Smith, the principle here."_

_I faintly heard my parents talking with Mrs. Smith as I kicked my foot against the floor. We were standing in what I knew to be the office of my new school here in Forks. My father and mother wanted a smaller and quieter life instead of Chicago. My mother wasn't a fan of the big city and my father was offered the chief of staff position here at Forks General. I understood. It wasn't like I was leaving behind any friends anyway. No one seemed to understand what it was like for me and treated me like I wasn't a normal human being. Well, I wasn't normal, but being blind didn't stop me from my daily life. No kid ever seemed to understand. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. _

"_Well, Mr. & Mrs. Cullen, I think Edward will be fine here. Let's walk him to his classroom and we'll get him situated with his teacher Mrs. Meyer."_

_I stood and followed with my cane, my left hand held on to my father's shoulder as we exited the office and turned right. He was walking at a measured pace with me so I could count the steps from the office to my new classroom. I had already counted from the curb of the parking lot to the office. 38 Steps._

"_Here we are Edward," said Mrs. Smith. Okay, 27 steps until here. I heard a knock and the chatter of students dying down._

"_Alright Edward," my father said, "Have a good day son."_

_My mother hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. I fought the urge to be embarrassed but felt my cheeks heat up a little. "Good luck today son."_

"_Thank you," I whispered in response, adjusting the sunglasses that covered my eyes. I heard the fading footsteps of my parents leaving down the hallway and pulled the strap of my bag over my right shoulder some more. _

"_Edward," said Mrs. Smith, placing a hand on my shoulder and guiding me into the classroom._

_I heard whispering and snickering but it was quickly silenced by a loud and firm "Quiet!"_

"_Edward, this is Mrs. Meyer, your 5__th__ grade teacher."_

_I held out my hand for a handshake and felt it embraced by a smooth soft hand._

"_It's nice to meet you Edward," said Mrs. Meyer. I turned my head in the direction of her voice and smiled. I heard the door close and I assumed Mrs. Smith left._

"_Class, this is our new student Edward Cullen. Please say hello."_

_I heard the monotone drone of a united, "Hello Edward." I snorted at the enthusiasm in my head._

"_So Edward," Mrs. Meyer continued, "tell us a little more about yourself."_

_I shuffled my weight from foot to foot as I spoke, "Well, my name is Edward Cullen. I'm 11 years old. I just moved here from Chicago with my mom and dad. I have no brothers or sisters. My father is a doctor and my mother is an interior designer. I like to read and I play the piano."_

_I could hear whispering and heard Mrs. Meyer address someone. I assumed someone had a question._

"_Mrs. Meyer," I heard a male voice, "Why is he wearing his sunglasses indoors?"_

"_Well Connor," Mrs. Meyer replied, "Why don't you ask Edward?"_

_I sighed, "I'm blind."_

_I heard the collective gasps and the whispers start. "If you're blind, how can you read and play the piano?" I heard a cocky sounding male voice say._

"_Mike Newton! Just because he's blind does not make him any different. One more outburst and its detention for you mister."_

_I heard more whispering and giggling as Mrs. Meyer led me to a chair on the far side of the classroom, 18 steps from the door. I felt my chair and placed my bag and cane down before taking a seat. I adjusted my sunglasses and sighed._

"_Ewww…Edward has to sit with Belly Bella!" I heard the now distinctly and more vile sounding by the second voice of Mike Newton say. The class erupted in laughter and I heard a soft sniffle beside me. I was instantly hit with a sweet smelling strawberry scent as she moved in her seat._

_I tilted my head towards the sound of the sniffle. "Hello."_

_I heard a sniffle and a soft, "Hi" in return. The girl next to me, who I assumed was named Bella, didn't speak again. I wouldn't blame her for being embarrassed. Now she had to sit next to the freaky new kid and apparently had an unwanted nickname from our classmates. _

_The bell for lunch rang and I heard Bella slide out from her chair and scurry away before I had any time to say anything. I stood and grabbed my cane, making my way to the front door. The classroom was silent so I assumed everyone rushed out._

"_Edward," I heard the timid voice of a girl, "Would you like me to show you where the cafeteria is?"_

"_That would be nice. Thank you…?"_

"_My name is Angela Webber."_

"_Nice to meet you Angela," I replied, though I had to wonder why this girl was being so nice to me._

"_We're going to the left," she said, "Do you…um…do you need to hold on to my shoulder?"_

_I was a little surprised. Someone was actually being nice to me. "Oh…um…won't that be…awkward for you?"_

"_No," she said barely above a whisper, "one of my little brothers is blind. I take care of him a lot. My dad is a minister and my mom is a nurse and are both pretty busy so I watch him a lot on my own."_

"_Oh…I…um…"_

_She chuckled, "Come on Edward. They always serve pizza on the first day of school."_

_I felt Angela take my hand and place it on her shoulder and we proceeded down the hall. She remained silent as I counted my steps to the cafeteria. She stopped so I followed suit. _

"_Sorry Edward, you didn't lose count did you?"_

"_Nope," I said, popping the "p" sound._

"_Okay, I'm really sorry, it's just we're in front of the bathroom, the boys' one, and well…sorry but I need to go to the bathroom really badly. The girls' one is to the right side of the hallway. Do you mind waiting for me a sec?"_

"_Not at all." I responded, mentally noting it was 33 steps to the bathroom and the boys' room was on the left side of the hallway. I moved a little farther along the wall and found some lockers to lean against and wait. _

_Just as I leaned my head back I heard the door to boys' room open and the vile sound of Mike Newton's voice, followed by two others._

"_Well, if it isn't that freak Cullen," I could tell Mike must've had a sneer on my face._

"_Hello Mike," I said curtly. I suddenly staggered as I felt my cane knocked from my hands._

"_I saw you with Angela. Why don't you leave her alone freak! She's my girl" Mike shoved me hard against the lockers then. The other two boys laughing._

_I snorted, we're in 5__th__ grade and he's claiming a girl to be "his"?_

"_She's not yours Mike!" I heard a new voice say._

"_Yeah? What are you gonna do about it Ben? You geek! You're just as much a freak as Cullen!"_

_I shoved Mike backwards, which was probably the dumbest thing I could've done considering I couldn't see. I was thrown back against the lockers and punched in the stomach. I heard that Ben kid hit Mike but he must've been thrown back by Mike's two friends. I could hear their punches landing and hoped this Ben kid would be alright. I wasn't really worth sticking up for. Mike landed a kick to my stomach and I curled up instinctively. I heard the girls' bathroom door open and Angela scream. I heard her footsteps running down the hall as she screamed for help. Mike kicked me again but suddenly I heard him yell, followed by a loud "thud" and felt his body hit the floor not to far from my own. I heard Mike's two friends scrambling down the hall before one yelled, "Geezus Swan! You ARE a freak!" _

_Swan? Who was "Swan"?_

_I heard the same sniffle from the classroom before Bella's soft voice said, "Are you okay?"_

_I nodded and felt her hands on mine as she helped me to stand up. I winced a little as she helped me over to a bench in the hallway._

"_Are you stomach and ribs okay?" She asked as she placed my cane into my right hand._

"_I think I'll be okay," I said, reaching up to feel my face, "My glasses!"_

_I was suddenly freaking out. My eyes weren't covered and Bella could see them. I knew when people saw me without my glasses they were weird about it. I was told my eyes looked normal, but kids got freaked out when I stared ahead at nothing._

"_Oh Edward…I'm sorry. Mike b-b-broke them…" I heard her sniffle again._

"_Are you crying?" I questioned._

"_No…yes…maybe." I bet she was pouting._

"_Look Edward, Mike Newton thinks he's the coolest guy in school when he's really the biggest loser and constantly puts people down to make himself look cool. He, Tyler, and Eric are all like that. I can't stand it…it just got me so upset to see them picking on you and Ben."_

"_What happened to Ben?" I asked, suddenly alarmed._

"_He's okay. He might wear glasses, but he's not geek. He held his own. He ran off to the office after Angela to get help."_

"_Oh…" I mumbled dumbly, "Wait…what happened to Mike?"_

_I heard Bella stutter before she spoke, "well…um…he…er, well, he's kind of unconscious…"_

"_What!?!" I yelled. I heard Bella squeak in front of me._

"_I…well…my dad is the police chief here and I'm his only daughter and he's basically been teaching me self-defense since I could walk. I don't know why because nothing ever happens in Forks and…"_

_She was rambling on and I smiled. This Bella girl was funny._

"_Thank you Bella!" I shouted over her rambling._

"_Oh…er, you're welcome Edward."_

_I kept my head down and hoped she wouldn't try to look at my eyes._

"_Edward…do you…" Bella stumbled over her words. Mental note, she does that a lot, "do you…want to borrow my sunglasses? They're my dad's old wayfarers."_

"_Please," I said barely above a whisper, thanking someone above that Bella could sense my discomfort without my glasses. I felt them placed into my palm and quickly put them on._

"_How do I look?" I said, looking up and smiling._

"_Very good," Bella whispered. _

_I was about to say something else when I heard the footsteps running down the hall and Mrs. Smith gasp and yell, "What happened here?"_

_I remained silent as Angela, Bella, and Ben launched into their tales of what happened. When Mrs. Smith asked if the story was true I nodded. Mrs. Smith took me to nurse's office so she could check my ribs and stomach. She gave me some ice to put on but said I should be okay. I groaned when I was told my parents had been called. I didn't want to think about the fuss my mom was going to make later. My stomach grumbled loudly as I realized lunch was almost over._

_I heard a knock at the door and the nurse yelled, "Come in!"_

"_Mrs. Carter?" I heard the shy voice of my Bella. My Bella? What the crap Edward…_

"_Hello Isabella," Mrs. Carter answered, "What can I do for you?"_

"_I…um…I brought some lunch for Edward and was going to walk him back to class?" Bella stuttered and it was kind of cute how her voice went up as if she were asking a question._

"_Alright Isabella. Edward," the nurse addressed me, "please let your father check you over when you get home and if anything hurts this afternoon please don't hesitate to come in."_

"_Thank you Mrs. Carter," I said as I stood with my cane. I immediately felt Bella's hands on my left one as she raised it and put it on her shoulder. I felt the tingles in my palm just as I had when Bella helped me off the floor in the hallway._

_Bella led us to a bench in the hallway again and we sat. _

"_I grabbed you some pepperoni pizza and a milk," Bella said, "Which would you like first?"_

"_I'll take the pizza," I said as my stomach growled loudly. Bella laughed this amazing laugh as she placed the plate into my hands. I began to devour the pizza as Bella giggled at my side._

"_I'm sorry," she said, "I guess I never formally introduced myself."_

_I smiled as she went on, but couldn't help my curiosity as to why that vile Newton had called her "Belly Bella." As far as I was concerned, Bella was a saint and deserved none of the teasing and laughing that I had heard this morning._

"_My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but please call me Bella."_

_I smiled and swallowed my pizza before I spoke, "It's nice to meet you Bella. My name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." I held my hand out and waited, my own hand was gripped tightly by two of Bella's tiny and soft hands._

"_It's nice to meet you too Edward."_

_End flashback_

"Edward?" I shook my head failing out of my daydream and letting the journal I had been immersed in fall to the desk.

"Edward," Alice sighed, "Are you reading these again? Why don't you just Google her? Or hire a P.I. to find her?"

Alice had picked up Bella's journal I was reading and placed it closed on my desk. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Alice and our other friends, Alice's fiancé Jasper Whitlock, her lawyer & best friend Rosalie, and Rosalie's husband Emmett McCarty, all knew about Bella. They all couldn't believe that I, Edward Cullen the artist, used to be blind. They all also couldn't believe that Bella had left me and begged me not to come after her. What was more, after six years, I was still madly in love with Bella Swan.

"She asked me not to Alice," I said flatly, "How can I refuse her last request of me?"

"But Edward, it's been six years. Didn't she also tell you to be happy? Don't you think you should…move on?"

"She should've known I can only be happy with her!" I yelled. I saw Alice jump back and I immediately felt sorry. "I'm sorry Alice."

I hung my head and heard the clacking of Alice's high heels come closer and felt her tiny arms wrap around my shoulders.

"It's okay Edward. I just…I just don't like seeing you like this. You can't live in the past Edward."

"I know Alice. I just…I can't let her go. I feel like she's always with me, always watching over me. Is that weird?"

"No Edward…I suppose not. But just remember her words okay? She wants you to be happy."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, "I know." Alice walked back out of the office and I lost myself in my thoughts again.

I wasn't about to let Alice know that I had in fact tried to Google Isabella Marie Swan, but it was like she disappeared. I could find old things from high school that would pop up, but nothing after that. No pictures or anything. Charlie had certainly screwed me over after Bella disappeared and my father severed any ties of friendship he had formed with Charlie Swan. It was like Charlie had used his police chief status to make it almost as if Bella never existed. Her pictures were in none of the yearbooks in the school libraries and there were no pictures on Google. Of course, my parents had no pictures of us either and that was my own selfish damn fault.

I had learned that Bella never attended NYU like we had both intended to do. After much coaxing during my "dark times", I eventually went to UW instead. I decided to come to New York after I graduated much to my parents' dismay. I wanted to see the world and live away from Forks for a bit. However now, who knows how long "a bit" might be? I had learned to read quickly once I found out that Bella had left me her journals. She had kept them ever since she was a little girl. She left me every single one from the day we met until…

"Edward!" Alice called out, "Let's get outta here! It's 6:30!" I chuckled. Our little store was only open from 10:00am until 6:00pm Monday-Friday. It was a strange coincidence that not only was I neighbors and now business partners with Alice, but I also lived in the building next to them on the Upper East Side. Jasper taught kindergarten at a private school a few blocks away. Although I loved to drive, Alice always insisted on driving. She didn't trust my 5 years of driving experience versus her 9 years. While I preferred my silver Volvo S60, Alice loved her yellow Porsche 911 Turbo, and I don't know anyone who can resist Alice Brandon's puppy dog face. I don't know what poor Jasper's got himself into…

"Alright! I'm coming!" I shouted as I packed my things. I smiled as I replaced my bookmark in Bella's journal. I had started reading them from the beginning again. Who knows what number time it was that I was doing this? I didn't care. I was in love with Bella Swan and I would be until the day I died. The page I stopped at in her journal was at the end of our first week at school.

_Bella's Journal_

_August 28__th__, 1994_

_I never thought that I would have a best friend. Angela was as close as it came but she is always so busy taking care of her brother that I never see her outside of school. I used to wish I had a sibling so I wouldn't be so lonely all the time. With my mom gone, and my father's job, I was always by myself. Being as klutzy as I am, sports or running around have never been an option and I sat around reading and eating the baked goods I made in my boredom. I was hoping that I'd grow out of my chubby stage, but it's hard to care when boys branded you "Belly Bella" back in first grade and the name has never gone away. Nothing soothes hurt feelings like brownies, until I met Edward._

_I think that's why I like Edward so much. He doesn't judge me by what I look like. I don't know why God would take the gift of sight away from a boy as beautiful as Edward. He jokingly refers to me as his "hero" and "guardian angel" now, but it's he who is the angel. I've never seen anyone so beautiful. He didn't want to show me at first, but tonight he showed me what he looked like without his sunglasses on. I held in my tears. Edward has the most beautiful, brilliant, emerald green eyes. I asked God why he would do this to Edward? He deserved to be whole. _

_Edward and I ended up sobbing together on his couch tonight while we hung out at his house. Edward's mom, Esme, immediately took a liking to me after Edward told her how I stuck up for him against Mike Newton. She was a sweet woman and made me miss my own mother who passed away 9 years ago. Edward and I ended up sobbing because we got into a fight._

_Edward asked me what I was doing hanging out with him. Why I was wasting my time being there with him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He went on to get upset and tell me that he was a freak and that I shouldn't be hanging around with him and I'll only hurt more if I continue to hang out with him. I was in tears as I yelled at him that he was my best friend and that I never had a best friend before. I explained about Angela and how I was always alone. I wasn't expecting Edward to wrap me up in a hug and apologize._

"_We can be alone together," is what he whispered. I told him that he wasn't a freak and he continued to argue with me. Instead I told him if we were going to be alone together then we would be freaks together too. He chuckled. We listened to music…mostly classical and Edward played me his favorites on the piano. I was amazed watching him. He played so perfectly that I forgot I was listening to an 11 year old. When he was done playing we ate some spaghetti that Esme had made and I met Edward's father Carlisle too. They were both so beautiful that I thought they looked like movie stars. Edward and I sat on the couch in his room and played 20 questions with each other until Charlie picked me up._

_I'll never forget what Edward said to me as I left to go home with Charlie: "Bella, you'll still…still be my best friend right?"_

"_Silly Edward…always" is what I told him. He grinned widely at me and I loved that he didn't have his sunglasses on anymore._

"_Always Bella." I can't wipe the smile from my face. For the first time in my near 11 years of life, I have a best friend. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen._

"EDWARD!! LET'S GO!!" Alice was yelling from the front of the store ready to pull the grate down and lock me in. I quickly threw my bag over my shoulder and ran out, locking the office and pulling the grate down for the little pixie. We jumped in her Porsche and started to speed off up towards the Upper East Side. The traffic was mostly gone now, but we still hit some. I heard the familiar sounds of Alice's phone ringing. That ring tone on a Friday evening could only mean it was one person…

"ROSALIE!" Alice squealed. Rosalie and her husband Emmett McCarty also lived on the Upper East Side near the rest of us. Emmett owned his own personal gym not far from Alice and I's store and Rosalie was a lawyer who worked down in the Financial District.

"Really?...What time?...Okay sure…See you tonight…love ya!" I listened to Alice as she chatted to Rose.

"Edward…" Alice sang in that tone of hers that I knew was used to pout her way into making me do anything.

"Yes Alice?" I sighed. Since I've met Alice and Rosalie, they've been trying to get me to date. I went on a few just to please them, but I never put much effort into it. None of them were Bella. Alice thought it was ridiculous that I was so in love with a woman who I didn't even know what she looked like. She almost blew a gasket when I said that. I sighed, not yet caring to relive the memories of why I didn't know what Bella looked like.

"Rosalie got us invited to a party tonight in honor of the author Izzie McCarty! Isn't that exciting Edward!"

I chuckled. Alice was a HUGE fan of Izzie McCarty's successful novels. I thought it was silly, but apparently this Izzie McCarty is quite popular. Her books are starting to spawn ridiculously popular movies, with the first adaptation coming in 3 months in November. Rosalie's firm handles her legal affairs. I always thought it was funny that Emmett & Rosalie had the same last name as this best selling author.

"Alice, you mean the Izzie McCarty that is so reclusive that no one knows what she looks like? Not even her publishers? The one that only gives phone interviews and never appears at anything in honor of herself?"

"You know Edward, for such a skeptic, you know an awful lot about Izzie McCarty."

I snorted, "How can I not? You worship the woman!"

Alice smacked me playfully, "I'm telling you Edward, you read her first book Love Story and you'll be hooked on her writing style."

"Well, if she's even at the party tonight, I don't know how you'll even know! No one knows what she looks like!"

"Humph…" Alice pouted, "I can dream can't I?"

"Sure Alice…sure."

_**Later that night…**_

"Jasper!" I hissed, "Do NOT leave me alone out there again!"

I knew there would be all sorts of socialites and free loaders at this party. No one who probably even cared about Izzie McCarty or could probably even read for that matter. I hated these types of fake women and their fake boobs and fake tans and fake….everything! I had fought off enough of these harpies to last me a lifetime.

"Sorry pal, I figured you could handle all that," Jasper chuckled in his southern drawl.

I glared at my friend, "."

"Sure sure," he chuckled, taking another sip of his beer.

"Where are Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett?"

He chuckled, "Well, unless you want to stab your eyes out, Rose and Emmett are on the dance floor. Alice is probably off trying to figure out who Izzie McCarty is."

I chuckled, "You're probably right."

I turned and ordered a So Co & Coke from the bartender. As I looked across the bar I froze. The pair of chocolate brown eyes staring back at me had me absolutely captivated. She looked away and even in the dim lighting of the bar, I could tell she was blushing. She had dark brown hair cascading around her shoulders and her creamy pale skin was practically glowing. She looked back up and caught me still staring at her. It was my turn to blush and look down now.

What was going on? I never felt like this over any woman before. Kate Beckinsale walked past me in Soho one day and I didn't even look twice, but this woman, she had me captivated. I suddenly thought of Bella and it stabbed me in the chest. This was wrong…I couldn't cheat on my Bella. I shook my head. I love Bella. _Be happy Edward_ she wrote. Could I? Could I move on? The fact that I had reacted so strongly to this stranger in the restaurant must mean something. _But Bella?_ my mind screamed. _Be happy Edward_. I decided to muster up my courage. I just wanted to talk to this woman. Bella wouldn't want me to be living in the past and moping. She wanted me to be happy.

When I finally looked up the woman was gone. I frowned and looked around for her but I couldn't see her anywhere. I looked frantically, searching all over, but I saw nothing. Maybe it was a sign.

"What's up man?" asked Jasper.

I shook my head, "It's nothing," and proceeded to down my drink.

I lay in bed that night thinking. Was Alice right? Should I give up on Bella and move on? Was that what would make me happy? I shook my head. No…I would only be truly happy with Bella. I would always be chasing after my love, never to find her, and always love her.

**So what do you think so far? And here's a stupid question, can someone tell me how to make line breaks in my stories? I'm not the most technologically savy person in the world… **

**Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 2: Angel of Mine

**Disclaimer: Not mine…just playing with the characters. Thanks Stephenie Meyer **

**A/N at the bottom**

_**When I first saw you I already knew**_

_**There was something inside of you**_

_**Something I thought that I would never find**_

_**Angel of mine**_

_**I look at you looking at me **_

_**Now I know why they say the best things are free**_

_**Gonna love you boy you are so fine**_

_**Angel of mine**_

_**How you changed my world you'll never know**_

_**I'm different now**_

_**You helped me grow**_

_**You came into my life **_

_**Straight from above **_

_**When I lost all hope, you showed me love**_

_**I'm checking for you boy **_

_**You're right on time**_

_**Angel of Mine**_

_**-Monica, "Angel of Mine"**_

Chapter 2: Angel of Mine

_September 12__th__, 1994_

_I can't believe what happened today at school. I didn't mean anything I said to Edward but Mike Newton and his friends had me so upset that I just snapped. They were picking on me and calling me "Belly Bella" and telling me that I was fat. Those were the words that always took any amount of fight out of me. I didn't meet Edward by the swings like I normally did during recess. I don't even know how he found me behind the office building. I was in tears and sobbing when I felt him sit down next to me._

"_Beautiful Bella, what's wrong?" he asked. That's all it took for me to snap at him. "Beautiful Bella" is what he started calling me last week. He said it was because anyone who was as good as a best friend as I was had to be a beautiful person._

_I regretted my words as soon as I said them. "How would you know if I'm beautiful!?! You can't even see me!"_

_Even with his sunglasses on, I knew my words hurt him more than I could ever understand. He sounded so broken when he said, "I know."_

_I didn't know what else to do. I ran. I ran and left him there behind the office. I went straight to the nurse and told her I threw up. Luckily she sent me home and Dad came and got me right away. Angela brought me my bag and she looked so sad as she passed it to me without a word. I knew Edward must have told her what happened. Angela and Ben were our only other friends at school so he must've told them. _

_As soon as my dad left I cried and cried on my bed. Edward didn't do anything to me and I hurt him worse than Mike Newton ever could have. He'll never forgive me. I've just lost my only true friend._

I sighed and removed my reading glasses. The page was blotted with dried tears that I knew Bella must've shed while she wrote. I remember that day so clearly. It was like Bella had stabbed me in the heart. We had hung out together every day after school, my mother offering to watch us for Bella's father Charlie. I had promised Bella that we could be "alone" together. I never realized that calling her "Beautiful Bella" could hurt her so much. But that was all before she explained to me what her nickname "Belly Bella" meant.

_September 13__th__, 1994_

_Today is my 11__th__ birthday and it's a Friday. How lucky for me, Friday the 13__th__. I begged and lied to my dad this morning, telling him I still didn't feel good and didn't want to go to school today. Of course, I just didn't want to face Edward. There was no way he was going to speak to me now._

_So here I am, sitting in the kitchen waiting for my brownies to be done. It's 2:45pm and school got out 15 minutes ago. I didn't even want to see Angela and Ben. I'm sure they didn't want to see me either after they learned what I had said to Edward. How could I have said something so cruel to my best friend?_

_Hang on, someone's at the door._

I smiled. Sure I was hurt beyond belief by Bella's words but I could feel how upset she was when I found her behind the office. I'll never forget that day, her 11th birthday as it were, that we cemented our friendship. From then on we were always honest with each other.

_Flashback_

_I wasn't sure if going over to see Bella was such a good idea. She had said probably the most hurtful things she could have ever said to me, but I knew she wasn't really mad at me. I had to know what had made her so upset. Plus I really didn't want her upset on her birthday, and my mother, Bella's dad, Angela's family, and Ben's family had all planned a surprise birthday dinner for her at the Lodge. I couldn't go without making her laugh first. I had to hear her laugh and know she was happy. I told my mom Bella wasn't in school today and she was ready to call Charlie and the other families to cancel the dinner but I told her to wait. I told her I didn't think Bella was really sick. _

_My mom led me up the steps to Bella's front door and knocked. I heard Bella's gasp and her faint, "Edward", before my mom said she'd wait in the car. Bella took my hand and led me into the kitchen to sit down. I heard her sit on the other side of the table. I could smell brownies and she had told me that nothing cheered her up like brownies._

"_Bella…" I started_

"_Edward I'm so sorry…" Bella sniffled_

_I could hear her sobbing now and I wanted to give her a hug but I felt like I needed the truth from her first._

"_Bella…why, um, why do they call you 'Belly Bella'?" I had a good idea. That's what was nice about being blind. There was no way I could pass judgment on a person based on what they looked like. Heh, maybe for some messed up reason, that's why I didn't have any friends. I heard Bella sniffle and there was a long pause. I got scared that maybe I had offended her. I had never once brought up the nickname that caused her so much sadness. We were silent for a long time and I considered going._

"_They've called me that for a long time," she said barely above a whisper. I didn't say anything in hopes that she would continue which she luckily did._

"_I'm not exactly what you would call 'skinny' Edward. I've always been a chubby kid. I'm clumsy and in P.E. I'm the worst kid in class because I'm slow and I trip a lot. They call me 'Belly Bella' because I'm fat and not pretty."_

_It broke my heart to hear Bella saying these things. These stupid boys were picking on her just because of the way she looked and how she did in P.E.? I clenched my fists as she went on._

"_Yesterday I was running to meet you at recess when I tripped and fell right in front of Mike Newton. He told me I was more of an ugly duckling than a swan. Tyler and Eric joined in teasing and calling me 'Belly Bella' and everyone on the playground was laughing at me so I ran. That's when you found me crying."_

_Bella started sobbing again, "Oh Edward! I'm so so sorry! I never should have said those things to you and I know you were just trying to be my best friend but Edward, I'm not beautiful and-"_

_I slammed my fists on the table. I heard Bella jump and squeak because I scared her._

"_They're fools Bella!" she didn't speak so I went on, "You know what's the one thing that I can see about people? I can see if they are TRULY beautiful and good people! Do you honestly think what you look like on the outside really matters to me!?! You're beautiful because you don't judge me because I'm blind! You're kind and caring and you stuck up for me when you didn't even know me! Bella, you are a beautiful person and I don't care what you tell me. As far as I'm concerned, Mike Newton and his gang are the ugliest looking people in the world because they're such jerks!" _

_I was standing on my feet and breathing hard now. I heard Bella sniffling. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. You just don't…you don't see yourself clearly. Please, I'm sorry…you're the only friend I've ever had."_

_I heard Bella's chair push out but she still hadn't said anything to me since my outburst._

"_Please don't leave me Bella…" I said barely above a whisper._

_I felt Bella's hands wrap around my neck in a hug and I wrapped my arms around her back in response. "I believe you Edward…I'm sorry…"_

"_You're still my friend?" I whispered, holding on tight to her._

"_I won't doubt you again Edward," she whispered at the same time. _

"_You won't leave me right?"_

"_Never Edward. Never."_

I remember we did end up surprising Bella at dinner that night. Angela told me she was blushing profusely when she arrived with Charlie. I bought her, or rather Esme did, a midnight blue journal. It was journal #2 of the journals Bella had left for me. I snapped out of my daydreams when I heard my phone ringing. I stood up and stretched before jogging out to my living room to answer.

"Hello?"

"Edward!" chirped Alice. I held back my groan. When she was this chipper it usually meant she found someone she wanted to set me up on a date with or wanted something done.

"Yes Alice? And before you ask, I'm not going out on a date with anyone."

"Geezus Edward, you should just become a monk already."

I growled in the phone, hopefully conveying that I wanted her to get on with whatever it was she wanted to ask me.

"Anyway Grumpy, I wanted to come by and drop something off to you."

"Oh," I said as I ran my hand through my hair, "Sure, come on over."

"Okay! See you in five!"

Alice hung up quickly and I surveyed my apartment. Everything seemed neat and tidy. Alice usually had a fit when I left my apartment messy. Apparently she couldn't work with a "slob" even if it was my own apartment. I quickly grabbed a shirt from the bedroom and threw it on before I heard Alice buzzing for me to let her up. In no time she was knocking on my door and I opened it to find the little pixie bouncing on her feet.

"Read it," Alice said as she thrust a book into my hands. I flipped it over and looked at the cover and groaned.

"Alice…I'm not about to read some silly romance novel."

"Edward, read it."

"Give me one good reason Alice," my patience was wearing thin.

"Because it sounds an awful lot like you and Bella's story."

I froze and stared at her.

"I'm telling you Edward, read it. You just started reading the journals again. Compare them."

With that, Alice turned on her heel and left. I read the cover. Love Story by Izzie McCarty. On the cover was a rose in full bloom. I flipped it over and read the few sentences on the back. The story of two best friends who've known each other their entire lives, the girl is blind, and the boy realizes that he's madly in love with her. I rolled my eyes but sat down on the couch to give it a try. At least it would get Alice off my back.

_January 29__th__, 1997_

_We're still playing our 20 Questions type of game, learning more and more about each other every time we play. Amazingly we haven't run out of questions to ask each other. I was a little unprepared for what Edward asked me tonight. He asked me to name five things that I've always wanted to do in my life._

_I answered him honestly. I told him I always wanted to learn to play volleyball, and actually be good at it. I wanted to visit New York City, visit the Louvre in Paris, learn to play an instrument, and I wanted to be a writer. He told me that with all the journals I write, I could probably be a great writer. I was thankful that he couldn't see my blush. Edward smiled his crooked smile at me and it made me blush even more. We're 13 years old, and I have definitely developed a huge crush on Edward Cullen. _

_There was no way that I could tell him that one of the things I really wanted was to kiss him. His lips just look so…so soft and when he smiles at me he makes me blush beyond belief. Angela thinks it's adorable. She thinks I should tell Edward how I feel, but I'm scared of how he'll react. We've NEVER talked about anything like…liking people and stuff. It scared me._

_I asked Edward what he wanted and I almost choked on my water. He said, obviously, he wanted to be able to see. He too wanted to go to New York City, he wanted to learn how to paint, how to run, and then he dropped the bomb. He said he wanted to kiss me._

_We were sitting so close to each other on the couch in his bedroom and my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. I couldn't believe he wanted to kiss me. I guess I paused for too long because Edward started mumbling and apologizing. It took me less than a second to grab his cheeks and crush my lips against his. He was frozen for a second, but then I felt his lips turn up in a smile._

_I couldn't believe I did that. I was blushing furiously and was so glad Edward couldn't see how red I was. My heart almost stopped when Edward said, "Better than I ever could have imagined." I think it was only meant for his ears but I chuckled._

_I asked him if he had really imagined that happening before and Edward blushed, which I was pleased I was finally able to do, and ducked his head. He told me he'd been imagining what it was like since the first time I let him "see" me._

_He was referring to when I let him "see" what I look like at the beginning of the school year. After my joyous summer vacation spent with my grandparents in California. Edward missed me "terribly" he said and I missed him in return. In attempts to keep my mind off my best friend, I went swimming at the local Y near my grandparents' home everyday. Plus it was so hot in California it felt nice. I also had a growth spurt and am now 5'4". Combined with all the swimming I did I lost a considerable amount of weight and was no longer "Belly Bella." Edward overheard Angela squealing about how great I looked and that afternoon Edward asked if he could "see" my face. True I was confused at first but I agreed. I almost screamed in shock when Edward took his hand from my shoulder and brought it up my neck to my face. He felt my cheeks, eyes, nose, and lips. I had to fight hard not to tremble at his touch. I'm sure he knew I was blushing because he had a smirk on his face and could probably feel it on my cheeks._

_I remembered every word he said next: "I could see that you are so beautiful Bella. You've always been beautiful, but to actually get to see you…Bella it was like heaven. Bella, your lips were so soft. Since that day I wanted to know what they would feel like against my own."_

"_Oh" was my intelligent response. Edward and his damn way with words always leave me feeling like a complete idiot. I became nervous when Edward started to shift around in his seat. He said my name and then started stuttering and rambling. I caught something about me and then about how Angela and Ben were girlfriend & boyfriend now and then there was no way for me to prepare for what he said next._

"_Bella, would you be my girlfriend?"_

_If I thought my heart stopped when he kissed me, it definitely stopped then. Like an idiot I nodded. Edward suddenly stood up and started apologizing saying it was okay and I didn't have to answer him and apologizing that we were so young. I had to scream "YES" at him to make him stop. Before I even knew what happened Edward had pulled me to my feet and wrapped me up in a hug._

_I was on cloud 9 when I came home tonight. Charlie smiled at me and said good night but I barely registered anything anyone said after I agreed to be Edward's girlfriend. I especially don't remember anything after he kissed me one more time before leading us back down to eat dinner with Esme & Carlisle._

_Oh lordy…Edward Cullen is my boyfriend._

I smirked and placed my bookmark into the book. I was maybe a fourth of the way through Love Story now and Alice was right, the similarities were there. The main characters names were Robert and Kristen and where I had stopped, Robert and Kristen had just shared their first kiss and he had asked her to be his girlfriend. For some reason I thought of the girl I had seen at the party the other night. She reminded me of what I always thought Bella would look like. When I asked Bella what she looked like, she told me she had dull brown hair and eyes, and her skin was pasty white. I'm sure she was lying and this woman I saw in the bar was something more along the lines of what I imagined Bella actually looked like. _What if that was Bella?_ I immediately dismissed that thought. She knew what I looked like and if that was her, she would've approached me. _Right? _Alice and Rosalie had pestered me in the past about why I didn't have any pictures of Bella. I could never bring myself to tell them why. Looking back, it was selfish and stupid. Of course Charlie being a police chief and all didn't help anything either.

I felt frustrated and went into my studio. I needed to paint and lose myself for a few hours. I turned on my stereo in there and let the classical music take over me. I lost myself in my painting for hours. I usually never knew what I was painting until I was finished. It was like I wasn't really there and I left my brain at the door. I wasn't a spiritual person, but it was like someone guided me in what I was doing. I definitely never told anyone that little detail.

After some immeasurable amount of time, the canvas was completely covered. I stepped back and looked at my work. I was stunned. I NEVER did portraits of people. I just painted that woman I had seen at Izzie McCarty's party. I had used various shades of blue in the background, but I had painted her in a meadow, her hair whipping around her face, almost making it look like she had a halo above her head. I decided to name the portrait "Bella". Alice of course would take it as this is what I imagined my Bella to look like, but I would just tell her it was called "Bella" because it meant "beautiful" in Italian.

I left the painting to dry and prepared a carrier for it so I could take it to the store tomorrow. I went to make myself some dinner but found that I wasn't really hungry so I just had and apple and peanut butter. I wanted to get in a work out with Emmett tomorrow morning before work so I decided to turn in early. My dreams were anything but calm and I kept seeing that pair of chocolate brown eyes and hearing Bella's voice telling me to be happy.

**So? Yes? No? Maybe? I'm sure you all have figured out some of the things that are going on with the plot here.**

**I promise this is an ExB story and there will be some citrus goodness coming up in Edward's flashbacks and Bella's journals. My chapters won't be that long (apparently I have the attention span of a fly sometimes) and I have the next several set up.**

**So please, anyone reading, let me know how I'm doing in a review? Pretty please? : - )**

**P.S. Anyone notice a Rob Pattinson quote in there? That man seriously says some funny crap and I couldn't resist putting it in. If you identify it correctly, I'll dub you his #1 fan… :-P**


	4. Chapter 3: As Long As You Love Me

**Disclaimer: ~*le sigh*~ still not mine…Stephenie Meyer, what is it like to be you?**

**A/N: Thanks for the review (s). At least I know this is getting read. And yes, the Backstreet Boys, my music guilty pleasure. :-P **

**Oh, and so no one's confused, the dates in Bella's journals should give you a timeline. Edward's b-day is 6/20/1983 and Bella's is 9/13/1983.**

_**Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine**_

_**I'm leaving my life in your hands**_

_**People say I'm crazy and that I am blind**_

_**Risking it all in glance**_

_**And how you got me blind is still a mystery**_

_**I can't get you out of my head**_

_**Don't care what is written in your history**_

_**As long as you're here with me**_

_**I don't care who you are **_

_**Where you're from**_

_**What you did**_

_**As long as you love me**_

_**Who you are**_

_**Where you're from **_

_**Don't care what you did **_

_**As long as you love**_

_**-Backstreet Boys, "As Long As You Love Me"**_

Chapter 3: As Long As You Love Me

_October 11__th__, 1997_

_I spent this afternoon at the Y in Port Angeles today. Edward and Esme had found out that they had a volleyball program and Edward insisted that I go, that way, in a year when we were in high school, I could try out for the team. My dad almost laughed about me playing sports, until he saw how serious my face was. Edward's face was deadly serious too as he stood next to me while I told my dad. I'll never forget when my dad agreed and said that volleyball was a good choice since I would be wearing kneepads in case I tripped and fell. He better have seen me roll my eyes._

_While I'm at my volleyball practice, Edward runs on a treadmill. He was so excited when he first learned how. I remember I was so proud too. There is always a trainer there to assist him. His name is Justin. I have to admit, Edward is definitely growing into his body. In addition to running, Justin also taught him how to do some weight lifting. Edward has grown a little more, and now at 14, he stands at 5'8" while I am still 5'4". There are muscles that are starting to appear on his body and I blush every time I catch myself staring at him in school. Thank goodness he can't see that. I would be beyond embarrassed. Of course now other girls are noticing Edward too. I'm not too worried though. Every time Tanya Denali tries to talk to Edward he gets this expression on his face that just looks like he might throw up at any second. He's so uncomfortable around all these girls who thought he was such a freak back in 5__th__ grade. I would be too if I was Edward. They were regular grade A bitches to the both of us until I got skinnier and Edward, well, he's just Edward and there was never really a time he wasn't attractive. Ugh…moving on… _

_A couple of weeks ago Angela was telling me about some music group that she had just heard of and how cute some guy in the group named "Brian" was. She said I had to listen to them and like them too because their music drove Ben crazy. Angela thinks Ben is jealous. I have to agree. I wasn't sure of the music at first since I had heard this was a "boy band", but they aren't too bad. They definitely aren't bad to look at. Edward can't stand them. He says they're a crime against music and not real musicians. I just rolled my eyes._

_Their new single always makes me think of Edward though. The lyrics are, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me." Edward never cared what I looked like now or in the past, and I felt the same about him. His being blind never changed how much I loved him. Yup…I've decided, I love Edward Cullen._

I chuckled and put the journal back in my bag. This was in the beginning of 8th grade. Had it been any other 14 year old, I would have laughed at this idea of "love". However, this was Bella and I we were talking about, and deep in my heart I know that she is always going to be the love of my life. There is no one else for me, even if that means I'm alone for the rest of my life. _But what about her?_ I shook my head. The woman from the party had been creeping into my thoughts again. Every time she did, I reminded myself that it meant nothing. The chances of me ever seeing her again were slim and nil. I stood from my chair in the office and stretched. I really was some sort of sick masochist. Every time I read Bella's journals made me fall in love with her even more, and every time I got to the last one, I was inevitably in tears after. Thank goodness Alice only found me like that once. That was the last time I ever brought that journal to the store. I could faintly hear Alice talking with a woman outside. I chuckled. I wonder what was in fashion today? Those boyfriend jeans or whatever and a slouchy bag? Uggs and a mini-skirt? (Seriously, who thought of that? They should be shot).

"Edward!" Alice yelled from the store. I came out of the office and saw Alice standing next to a rather tall and relatively thin woman with dark hair and glasses. She was pretty, but not my type. When I glanced at her face her eyes widened considerably. Her mouth hung open a tad and I had the feeling she was staring at me. Did I have food on my face or something?

"Edward CULLEN!" the woman gasped. I couldn't hide the surprise on my face. I didn't meet with anyone unless they were buying a piece. Otherwise Alice took care of all the sales in the store. My name wasn't anywhere and if someone was generally interested, Alice had me meet with them. So I was quite surprised that this woman knew who I was. Alice was apparently surprised as well. I didn't socialize with anyone outside of our little group, and I had to comb my brain over whether or not she was one of the boring dates Alice or Rosalie had set me up on. God I hope not. I really don't want a stalker, a hospital visit, or springing Alice from jail because she went all momma bear on some girl Rosalie might've set me up with and I was the most boring first date in the history of the world.

After quickly determining she wasn't one of the three girls, I broke the silence, "Yes ma'am?"

She stuttered and pulled on the sleeve of her shirt. She looked at the ground and kicked her shoe. What the hell is all this behavior? Crap…what was the name of Rosalie's co-worker's sister? Did she wear glasses or contacts? I think she was the only brunette…Oh please don't be her…

"Do you two know each other?" Alice asked, hand perched on her hip, standing in her _'I'm annoyed because I don't know what's going on'_ stance. That was a good question. I certainly didn't remember this woman but apparently she knows me. Oh for the love of all that's holy…

"My name is Angela Cheney…Angela Webber from F-Forks," she said stuttering out the end barely above a whisper. My heart froze and I couldn't breathe. Holy. Fuck. Besides Bella, Angela Webber and Ben Cheney were our only other friends. We hung out in our little foursome constantly and were all very close. Angela and I had been close because of her brother, but had a falling out over some…unsavory words I said after Bella disappeared. I shook my head and chose not to remember my "dark times".

"Holy God…" I said as I leaned against the counter. I was gasping for breath and Alice quickly rushed to my side. I was overwhelmed seeing Angela Webber for the first time in my life.

"You're THE Angela from Forks?" Alice all but hissed. I didn't hear an answer so I assume Angela nodded. Alice went into her crazy momma bear mode. She might remind everyone of a little pixie, but she's a fierce bear when she has to be.

"You can't just show up here unannounced after no contact for 6 years! You can't just surprise him like that! He's still learning who some of his family is!!"

"I'm sure he is," Angela whispered under her breath. Alice didn't hear her as she continued to rant on and on about how people from my past couldn't just pop up on me and expect me to know who they are. I stood myself up straight and looked at Angela again. Her looks matched her personality. She was always quiet and a nice girl, helpful and soft-spoken. If I remember correctly, she didn't talk back to anyone either. Alice had finished her little tirade with "Why are you here?"

Angela took a deep breath and said, "My, er, employer saw that painting through the window. It bears an uncanny resemblance to someone she knows and she would like to buy it as a gift."

My heart suddenly thudded loudly in my chest. Angela knows someone who knows the woman from the party? _NO! Don't get your hopes up! What about Bella!?!_ I calmed my heart down as I tuned back into the conversation.

"Someone wants to buy that painting?" Alice said, pointing at the new one I had called, "Bella".

"Yes, my employer is very interested. Cost is no matter." Angela's phone buzzed loudly in her pocket signaling a text message.

"Oh…apparently she would like to come in herself tomorrow sometime. She has meetings all day but would like to possibly break away and come during lunch. She wishes for it to be prepared and ready to go when she arrives. She will pay whatever you desire when she gets here."

"Okay, well, Edward won't be here though, he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 1:30. That means you'll be gone from 1 until like 3 right Edward?"

I just nodded, still taking in Angela's appearance.

"Oh, let me check with her," Angela said, "I'm sure she would _love_ to meet Edward."

Alice and I both watched as Angela sent a text to her employer or whatever. I was still in shock seeing one of my best friends for the first time in my life. These "firsts" were always overwhelming, but I assumed I was done with them. Especially when I thought I didn't know anyone in this city. I guess it really is better to not "assume" anything…While I watched Angela, trying to be as un-creepy as I could about it, I noticed Alice was eyeing her skeptically. I'm sure I'm going to get an earful from her when Angela leaves. Angela's phone buzzed and she sighed heavily.

"She says that she can only come during her lunch tomorrow when Edward won't be here. She sends her regards that she can't meet you in person Edward."

Angela spoke with an almost annoyed tone. I just nodded my head. I still hadn't said anything. I stood against the counter and took a deep breath as Angela looked up at me. True I had new friends here in the city, but it hurt to lose Angela and Ben in addition to Bella.

"Edward," Angela sighed, "I…I…"

"Angela I'm sorry," I said, cutting her off, "What happened 6 years ago is unforgivable on my part and it has never sat well with me how I cut you and Ben out of my life. I was hurt and angry and I took it out on you two. I never meant to and for that I will be eternally sorry."

Angela's eyes got glassy, "Edward, I'm sorry too. I should have been more understanding about the situation. I guess I was just upset about losing Bella too. I should've thought about you and put myself in your shoes."

Angela let a tear roll down her cheek and Alice stood in silence as she took in the scene. I didn't like seeing my old friend cry and wanted to change the subject quickly. "So…Angela Cheney now huh? I sure hope his first name is Ben?"

Angela blushed a little and nodded, a smile on her face.

"That's terrific Ang!" I said, genuinely smiling, "How is Ben doing?"

"He's a professor at Columbia. He teaches math. I don't think anyone was surprised."

"And Thomas? How's Thomas?" I felt guilty again. Angela's little brother was 5 years younger than us and I had been close to him as well since we were both blind.

"He's doing wonderful! He goes to school in California now!"

"Wow…he's what, 19, 20 years old now?"

"Yup, just turned 20."

"How is he adjusting down there?" I asked.

"Actually," Angela paused, looking down, "He had the same surgery as you two years ago. He couldn't wait to go down to Los Angeles for school."

I was amazed. Angela and Ben lived in New York City, her brother had the same surgery as I did and is now in college…time flew by.

"That's great Angela," I said honestly. Her phone buzzed again and she furrowed her brows.

"Sorry I need to cut this short, but my employer wants me to get back to her. It was great to see you Edward! I'll tell Ben! We should uh, get together sometime."

There was something hesitant in her voice and I wondered if Ben really didn't want to see me or if she was just being nice and never planned to make good on this suggestion, so I just agreed, "Sure Ang. That sounds great."

"Okay, well, I'll drop my card off with Alice tomorrow when I come in with my employer. Thank you for your help Ms. Brandon. Sorry again for surprising you Edward. It wasn't intentional."

I smiled and nodded. Angela smiled and walked out the door. I was spun around quickly by the unnaturally strong pixie and one of her delicate fingers poked me in the chest.

"Are you seriously going to get together with them? They just up and abandoned you and made no effort to see you for six years!"

I sighed, "I don't know Alice. Maybe I need to see them. Maybe it will help me move on or something."

I knew the topic of "moving on" would appease Alice and she never pushed me on it, understanding it was not easy for me, or anyone for that matter, to move on. I turned back around and looked out the window. I noticed a black town car parked across the street and my breath caught in my throat again.

There standing next to the open car door on the sidewalk was the woman from Izzie McCarty's party. Her brown hair was whipping around her head and it reminded me of the painting instantly. Her chocolate eyes were burning straight into mine but our connection was severed when a bus went by. By the time the bus passed I looked back, but she was in the car and it was driving away. What are the odds?

With my connection severed to the beautiful mystery woman who had been across the street, I tuned into the music playing in the store.

"ALICE!" I yelled, "MUST we listen to the untalented boy bands of our youth!?!"

I rolled my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. Ugh…Alice's mega-mix of pop including Nsync, Britney Spears & her clones, and the Backstreet Boys.

"Shut up Edward! This is my nostalgia playlist and why not? We just had a blast from the past in the store," Alice shouted, my sight of her obscured by a large rack full of her latest designs for fall.

I shuffled back into the office and had to smirk when I recognized the song: _"I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me."_

I sat and opened Bella's journal again. How ironic the last entry I read just mentioned Bella's like for the silly 90's boy band. This was even one of her favorite songs. Just as I thought of Bella, I thought of the woman from the party again. What were the chances that I would see her again today, across the street from our store, when I just thought earlier that I would never see her again. The chorus of the Backstreet Boys' song ran through my head again. Love? I couldn't love her…I didn't even know her. I love Bella and only Bella. There was no other definition for love other than the love that I have for Bella. Geezus…I really am some sick masochist.

_APOV_

I folded the last pair of my Pixie skinny jeans and put them on the shelf with the others. Edward was worrying me. In the beginning he agreed to go on the dates that Rose and I would set him up on. Now he refuses before he even hears what Rose or I have to say. Rose has given up on trying to find someone for him, but I just can't. Edward says that he's happy but you can tell that he's not. Jazz agrees with me too.

I fear we're losing Edward to the past. I can't even imagine how devastating it was for him to lose Bella, his best friend and girlfriend for years. I know I would be devastated if I had lost Jasper like that. But I would move on wouldn't I? I wouldn't just mope and sit in the office reading notes and journals he left me, living in my memories instead of the present. I thought Edward might getting better when he mentioned "moving on" without me bringing it up, but I have a feeling it's just to get me off his back. And after today's blast from the past, I don't know if this can end well for Edward. I swear, if I ever find this Bella woman, I might just slap her in the face…even if she is as great as Edward says she is.

**I guess I should mention we'll be getting Alice's POV along with Edward's in this story. And I brought back Angela. We'll see a little more of her. More Jasper and Emmett is coming. Rosalie is around…and Bella, well, I bet you have figured out more about Bella than I need to tell you so I won't say anything about her. :-P **

**And I might be making some fun of the Backstreet Boys, but I love them. Hmmmm…what's coming up? Jasper is back, Angela too…and some cute ExB moments from the past.**

**Thank you for your review(s)! Please let me know how I'm doing! Pretty please? **


	5. Chapter 4: Teenage Love Affair

**Disclaimer: not mine…just playing with the characters we all love**

**A/N: special thanks to ajenc because she let me know what she thinks of the story. I can see people are reading this, so I thank you for reading too. At least I know the story is getting read and I guess liked enough to not be flamed? So big thank you for just reading.**

**Sorry if it seems things in the story are going slow. I've been on a family reunion trip (ugh!) and I was side tracked with the Mariners on t.v. playing the Orioles. :-P **

**Anyway, enjoy. Things definitely pick up after this chapter.**

_**Can't wait to get home**_

_**Baby dial your number**_

_**Can you pick up the phone**_

_**Cuz I wanna holler **_

_**Daydreaming bout you all day in school**_

_**Can't concentrate**_

_**Wanna have your voice in my ear til momma come and say it's too late**_

_**Cuz the lights are on outside**_

_**Wish there was somewhere to hide**_

_**I just don't want to say goodbye **_

_**Cuz you are my baby baby**_

_**Nothing really matters**_

_**I don't really care what nobody tell me**_

_**I'm gonna be here**_

_**It's a matter of extreme importance**_

_**My first teenage love affair **_

_**-Alicia Keys, "Teenage Love Affair"**_

Chapter 4: Teenage Love Affair

I had to admit, Izzie McCarty's book was quite long. Alice was right, the story was close to my own love story with Bella. _Except the book has a happy ending_. I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor's office having just finished reading Love Story. I was due twice a year to make sure that my vision was still intact and nothing abnormal had popped up after my procedure. Dr. Bell was a friend of my father's and one of the best in New York.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and tugged at the neck of my t-shirt. It was the beginning of September and still ungodly hot in the city. Jasper had Alice drop him off at work because it was just too hot for him to be walking in the dress shirts and ties he had to wear. This private school of his was sure upscale. What kind of kindergarten teacher had to wear a tie to work? I caught the subway up here for my appointment at 1:30. I hoped it wouldn't take too long. Alice wasn't closing the store for a lunch break and I hated to leave her there by herself just in case something happened. My shirt was damp from sweat and I decided to take a taxi back to the store. It was just too hot to be down in the subway today. My thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Bell's nurse, Jessica, called my name. I rolled my eyes as I tried to ignore the way she was not so subtly trying to be sexy. She did that every time I came in here.

After managing to escape from Jessica and learning from Dr. Bell that everything appears normal and healthy, I finally flagged down a taxi to take me back to the store. There was a bit of traffic so I pulled out Bella's journal I was reading and lost myself in memories.

_September 15__th__, 1998_

_Today was the final cuts for the JV volleyball team and I made it! I can't believe it! I couldn't wait to call Edward and tell him the news. He was incredibly excited for me too. I felt kind of bad for squealing that I had to talk to Edward right away. Poor Dad was at a loss and confused when I said I had a surprise but I had to tell Edward first. Hopefully I didn't offend my dad. I called Edward as soon as I got home from practice. Thankfully Esme let him answer the phone during dinner because she knew this was the big final cuts day too. Dad also said he was proud and I knew he was. I'm thinking he never thought that his clumsy "Bells" would ever grow up to be a part of an athletic team._

_I had to admit I was incredibly excited to see Edward this weekend. Because of volleyball practice I never got to hang out with him after school and Edward is so smart that he's in different classes from me. He's in a more advanced math and Spanish class. He has English and history at a different time from me, but we at least have science together. Angela is in most of my classes and Ben is with Edward in math and Spanish. The only time Edward and I really get to see each other is at lunch. I miss seeing him all the time and spending every day after school with him. High school is different, but not too bad I guess. _

_It is hard to believe that Edward has been my boyfriend for over a year and a half. We're both 15 years old now and for my birthday two days ago Edward had given me the most perfect gift ever. Over the years he learned from birthdays and Christmases that I hated it when people spent money on me. Of course it never stopped him from getting me more than one gift. One gift that he knew would get on my good side that he usually made and then one that usually left me speechless. This time he really outdid himself with both. He got me four tickets to go see the Backstreet Boys in Seattle next month and then he pulled me to his piano and I couldn't have been possibly prepared for what he did next._

_Edward wrote me a song! He composed a song for me, Isabella Swan! I was in tears as he played and hugged him so tightly I knocked us off his piano bench. At least neither of us got hurt and Edward was laughing. It was so beautiful. He said it was a lullaby for me and he hoped that it would give me sweet dreams when we had to part over the phone until school the next day. It was the best present I could've ever received. _

_I talked to Edward on the phone every night before we went to sleep. I still can't believe he told me he loved me at Christmas last year. That and then he gave me a little silver heart pendant on a necklace. I never take it off unless I'm at volleyball practice. It feels weird to be 15 years old and in love, but I feel like Edward is it for me. Is that so weird to think? Maybe I'm being silly. Am I being unrealistic? No…Edward Cullen is my love. Oh, that's him calling. Until next time._

"That's $15.75 sir," the cab driver said, snapping me back to the present. I looked up and sure enough, we were outside of New Moon. I handed him a twenty and stepped out of the car, slipping my reading glasses off and putting on my sunglasses. I loved that the wayfarers came back into style and bought myself another pair of the black ones. I still had the original pair Bella gave me back in 5th grade, but the fact that they were once Charlie's didn't sit so well with me anymore.

I had barely opened the door to our store before Alice attacked me around the waist.

"EDWARD!! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MISSED IT!!"

The decibel level was unreal as Alice squealed and started bouncing in place spouting off into some story that I wasn't catching because she was talking too fast. I chuckled and set my bag down in the office before coming back outside to listen to more of Alice's story. Apparently I missed something important because she was now glaring at me with her hands on her hips.

"Edward did you even hear what I said?"

"Sorry Alice," I said, blushing a bit, "You were speaking too fast and are obviously excited."

"IZZIE MCCARTY came into the store today!! She bought your painting!"

"What?" I almost shouted. I was surprised that the reclusive author had actually made herself known and was here in the store.

"Your friend Angela is the personal assistant to the one and only Izzie McCarty! Oh Edward, you have to ask Angela if we can meet her again! I was such a dumbstruck fan girl! I must've sounded like an incompetent fool! Please Edward! Please please please!"

The puppy dog pout was on her face and I could feel myself caving in. Boy, I hope they pay Jasper well at his job…

"Oh okay Alice. I'll call Angela later and see what I can do," I muttered.

"Oh my gosh Edward! We should get together! You, me, Jazzy, Angela, her husband, and Izzie McCarty!"

I snorted, "Yeah okay Alice."

"Hey, don't make fun Edward. You never know, Izzie McCarty just might be the one for you."

"Sure sure," I said as I headed back into the office. I didn't want to get into another fight with Alice by telling her that Bella was the only one for me. I couldn't lie though, I was intrigued by the mere sentences that summed up Izzie McCarty's "About the Author" section on her book.

"Izzie McCarty grew up in the Mid West. Her first novel, Love Story, was published when Izzie was 19 years old. She lives in New York City with her son."

It made me wonder all kinds of things about this Izzie McCarty. It didn't mention how old she was, just that she lived in the city and had a child. It made me wonder if she was married or not. Love Story was published in 2003 so that put her around the same age as Alice and I. I could hear Alice with a customer in the store talking about pencil skirts or something so I took out Bella's journal to start reading again. I got ahead quite far and smiled when I got to this particular entry. It was the first night that Bella had sneaked into my room.

_Flashback_

_I could hear the screams and cheers as I sat next to my mother and gripped her hand tightly._

"_What happened?" I just about yelled above the noise of the crowd._

"_Bella just made a great save and dove to get the ball. She's going back to serve now," my mother replied. It was the middle of October and Forks High's team was playing for the JV championship. Bella was a setter and a starter. I was so proud of her. Setters pretty much dictated the game and they had to think quickly and make decisions. I knew Bella would be a good setter. She's very smart and knows a lot about the game. I was amazed at how quickly she learned to play, but I knew she was passionate about it and I knew she would be good. _

_More cheers erupted and I had to cover my ears. My mother had of course sat us right in the middle of all the action._

"_Oh Edward! The other team hit the ball into the net! Bella is serving for the game point! They score this point and that's the game! They're the champions!"_

_It got quiet as I heard Bella bouncing the ball. Always five times I noticed. I strained my ears as I listened hard for the whistle. I heard it and then not long after, the distinct slapping sound of Bella's hand making contact with the ball. After that there was a lot of yelling and undistinguishable shouts. I could hear shoes squeaking and the ball making contacts on arms. I was able to distinctly make out Bella's voice as I heard her yell, "yes yes", and then a loud smack. Screams erupted from around me, my own mother included. She grabbed me hard and shook me lightly._

"_They won Edward! Bella made a great set! It's over! They're champions!"_

_I smiled and cheered with the rest of the crowd. I knew Bella would be a little while after the game with her teammates and coaches, so I waited patiently with my mother. I could hear everyone buzzing all around us. Charlie had to work and couldn't take off to come to the game. I knew Bella was sad, but Charlie sounded genuinely disappointed too. _

"_EDWARD!" I heard my Bella squeal. I smiled and held my arms out for a hug._

"_I'm all sweaty Edward!" Bella said. I could tell she was standing right in front of me, just out of reach of my arms._

"_I don't care Bella! Come here!" I moved forward and felt her arms and pulled her forward. She squealed and squirmed a bit before letting me wrap my arms around her tiny frame. She was a bit irritated that I was now almost 6'0" while she still stood at 5'4". I held her close to me and smiled._

"_You were so great love," I whispered into her hair, feeling it plaited in braids. _

"_Thank you Edward," she said as she squeezed me once more tightly before releasing me and hugging my mother. Unfortunately after the game Bella had to shower and then Charlie was picking her up. I wouldn't see her until Monday for sure. Maybe tomorrow if I'm lucky. _

_My mother made us a delicious chicken stir-fry for dinner and I sat with my father and listened to the news. The Mariners did terrible again this season, but Griffey Jr. had a pretty phenomenal year. I was still trying to get over the fact they let Randy Johnson go. I decided to shower and turn in for the night. I lay down and dialed my Bella's number so we could have our nightly conversation. It rang and rang to voicemail and I frowned. Where was she? I tried again and the same thing. I was just about to leave a message when I heard something land heavily on the balcony outside my windows. I thought I heard a voice mutter a curse and I tensed, grabbing my cane as defense in case. Not like it would do much, but you never know. I could get a lucky swing in here or there…_

_I jumped when I heard a light knocking on the window and my love's voice saying my name. Was I dreaming? Was I so tired I was hearing Bella's voice. I got up slowly and made my way over. I didn't need my cane to get around my room so I held it like a weapon in my hands. I heard Bella's distinct giggle and I smiled, knowing she was really outside the window._

_I quickly popped the lock and pushed the door slightly before backing away. I felt the breeze and smelt the purely Bella scent of strawberry shampoo and freesia body wash wafting in the air._

"_Hey Edward," Bella whispered as she stepped in and closed the window._

_I smiled as I felt her tiny hand take mine and squeeze._

"_Hello love," I smiled. She led us over to the couch in my room and we sat. I felt her shifting around next to me and she pressed herself into my side._

"_I missed you and had to come see you," Bella giggled. I was confused._

"_Bella, how'd you get here? What about your dad?"_

_Bella's body felt warmer and I knew she was blushing, "I wanted to surprise you. Your mom helped me with everything. My dad knows I'm spending the night. He got called in to work at the last minute so he called your mom and asked if I could sleep over. He didn't want to leave me home alone." _

"_So you decided to climb in through my window because…?"_

_She laughed and it was the most beautiful sound in the world, "I don't know. It's something I always thought was romantic. Scaling walls to your lover, sneaking into their room at night…so very cliché. I love it."_

_She giggled again and pressed into my side. I pulled her tighter to me and she shifted and pressed her lips against my cheek. I turned my head slightly towards her and she closed the distance, pressing her lips to mine. I smiled and hummed in pleasure. I could feel a certain part of my anatomy reacting and I had to beat it back down. It was after my 15__th__ birthday that I had begun to "take matters into my own hands" so to speak. It was way too embarrassing to let Bella know, and I shifted uncomfortably as I tried to will my hard on away._

_Fortunately my mother knocked on the door and Bella pulled back with a sigh. "Well, as usual I need to go sleep in the guest room now."_

_I sighed and stood with her and walked to the door. She paused a few steps from the door and pulled me down so she could whisper in my ear, "I'll be back after your parents fall asleep."_

_I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, even though I was intimidated by the idea. Bella kissed me one more time lightly on the lips before I heard her skip out of my room shutting the door. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair making my way back to the bed. I needed to get Little Eddie under control before Bella came back. Damn teenage hormones…_

"Edward! You have a phone call!" Alice yelled from outside. I was so lost in my thoughts of Bella I didn't even hear the phone ring. I stood and walked back into the store. A couple of young girls were in the store and eyed me like I was the newest Orlando Efron Hollywood heartthrob thing. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I took the phone from a highly amused Alice. I scowled at her as she stuck her tongue out at me before going off to help the fan girls. God I hope Alice got them off my backs.

"Hello?"

"Edward," said Angela Webb- Cheney, "I wanted to talk to you directly. My employer is VERY pleased with your painting."

I chuckled, "Yes, I heard Izzie McCarty was in here today."

"Oh…um…yes."

"Angela, that's awesome you work for Izzie McCarty. Her books are quite good."

"Oh," she hesitated, "Did you get to meet her?"

"No," I answered, "Unfortunately she did indeed stop by while I was at my doctor's appointment. I got a full fan girl play by play from Alice though."

"SHUT IT CULLEN!" Alice yelled from somewhere across the store.

Angela giggled, "Yes…Izzie told me she found Alice quite…lively."

It was my turn to chuckle, "Yes…Alice is something."

I wondered if I should ask Angela about getting together. I highly doubted if Izzie McCarty would want to but I figured I'd ask.

"Um, Angela…I wanted to ask if you and Ben…and maybe Ms. McCarty wanted to get together some night with Alice, her fiancé, and myself?"

"Oh Edward, that sounds great. Ben and I would love to, but Izzie…well, er, she's quite stubborn and set in her ways and I don't think she'll come. She likes to keep things very…er, private."

"Oh I see. It's okay I understand. Alice just really wanted another chance to make a better first impression and I would have liked to meet the author of the best selling soon to be movie Love Story," I said with a slight hint of humor.

Angela laughed, "Yes…well, Izzie would love to meet you guys too, I'm sure of it. Too bad she's so stubborn. If it's any consolation, Ben and I would still love to get together. When she's not defending your honor, Alice sounds like quite the fun time and I'm sure her fiancé must be as well to keep up with her."

I laughed. Angela had no idea what poor Jasper put up with. However he might be able to have some good conversation with Ben.

"Okay Ang, I'll talk to Alice and get back to you. Should we shoot for dinner this weekend? Saturday maybe?"

"Sure Edward that sounds great."

"I'll warn you now…Alice is probably going to grill you about Izzie McCarty."

"SHUT UP EDWARD!" Alice screeched, hidden behind a rack of dresses.

"Oh dear, well, I'll prepare," Angela chuckled, "I'll talk to you soon Edward."

"Okay Angela, bye."

"Bye."

I laughed and hung up the phone and almost ran over the little pixie right in front of me.

"Christ Alice! You scared me!"

"So? Are we going to dinner with Izzie McCarty?"

"Well, Angela says she's stubborn in her ways and doesn't think she'll be able to convince her to come out, but Angela says she'll be prepared to answer any questions about Izzie that you have for her."

Alice bounced in place and I could see the wheels begin to turn in her head, "So you, me, Jazzy, Angela, and her husband are going to dinner this weekend?"

"If you'd like."

"Ooh…exciting! I need to think of some good questions."

By the time we locked up the store for the night, Alice had almost two pages of questions and I hoped that Angela would be able to handle her. Alice invited me over to dinner that night, claiming Jasper had picked up some excellent Chinese food. Jasper agreed to dinner on Saturday night (as if he would deny Alice anything) and I called Angela to confirm everything. Instead of going out, I invited everyone over to my apartment.

"So Jasper, how're the students this year?" I asked as we dug into the walnut shrimp and beef broccoli.

"They're good. Got some trouble makers but nothing out of the ordinary I'd say," Jasper spoke in his Southern drawl, "I do have one kid, E.J., he's always picked up late. Never by a parent either, it's always his nanny or something. I have yet to meet his mom or dad."

"That's so sad," Alice said, "I bet the poor kid is practically raised by his nanny."

"Well, he tells me his mom works hard all day but is always home for dinner. Apparently his dad is living in Paris, working at the Louvre or something. He writes to him every week."

"Wow," I said, "that must be kind of rough. Growing up with pretty much nonexistent parents."

"Yeah, but he seems okay with it. Showed me a new letter from his dad today as I waited with him to be picked up. You should see this kid though Edward, he actually kind of reminds me of you."

I chuckled, "Of me? Why of me?"

"His hair is pretty much the exact same shade as yours but he has these weird eyes…like, they switch between a brown and green. Quite interesting I'd say. And if I remember correctly, his last name is Cullen."

"What? Really?" I said as I speared another shrimp.

"Yeah, well, at least I think so. I'm still trying to learn everyone's full names. At least I got all the first names down. He's a good kid though, very gentlemanly. Quite surprising to me for someone so young."

"Slacking a bit aren't you Jasper?" I teased. Normally the guy had everything planned and under control and knew everything going on in his classroom from the full names of his students down to the type of pencils in the classroom.

"Preoccupied," he defended, "not all of the kids are little gentlemen like this E.J. kid."

"He must be one of those spoiled rich brats expected to act all proper and crap from birth," Alice snorted.

"No…I don't think that's it. He doesn't seem spoiled like some of the other kids…I don't know. It's just weird to me that he always is picked up by the nanny and I've had no contact with his parents."

"Well he's not a problem child right?" Alice asked.

"No…he's a fine student."

"Well then, not to worry," Alice chirped.

The rest of our dinner was light and I chuckled as Alice said she was hit with inspiration to possibly start designing children's clothes. Jasper groaned as we both heard Alice talking to herself and disappearing into her office where she did all of her sketching. I said goodnight and headed home. I had two days to plan a meal at my apartment and clean up to Alice's standards. I chuckled. This should be an interesting dinner, but it would be great to see my old friends from Forks. I had invited Emmett and Rosalie too but they still had to get back to me. Even though Bella was absent, I oddly felt like things were coming together.

_March 26__th__, 2002_

_It's so crazy to think that this is the last Spring Break that Edward and I will have here in Forks. We both decided to attend NYU next year and I can't wait. They have a great English program and if all goes well with Edward's surgery at the end of June, he'll be able to see New York City with me. He'll be able to see…I still can't wrap my brain around the fact. Admittedly I am scared. The procedure is relatively new, but Carlisle insists that he's checked everything out and knows the doctor who will be performing it quite well. I just can't bear to think of what would happen if something went wrong. _

_On a lighter note, Edward and I went to the beach in La Push today. But then after over five years of dating, Edward and I got into our first big fight. I felt terrible about the whole thing. It was silly of me and so very childish. As much as I hate it, the topic of sex is so very hard to ignore when you're in high school, constantly surrounded by horny teenagers. I was talking to Angela and apparently she and Ben had taken the "next step" in their relationship. I had never really given it much thought before. Edward and I kissed and made out, but nothing more. When I slept over, we cuddled and I am more than a little sure I felt something hard against my back. Sex was something that never came up before between us…not until Angela told me about she and Ben. I couldn't help my thoughts. Edward and I had been together for over five years now, we were both 18, and well, sex had never come up._

_Boy, I guess I chose a bad time to bring it up. Edward shut me down completely, yelling at me, saying that I deserved a whole man, and blah blah. I couldn't believe that after all these years, Edward thought he wasn't whole and that I deserved better than him. I of course had to fight with him and convince him that he's all I've ever wanted in a man. Needless to say, we said words to each other that we have NEVER said to each other and it resulted in me in tears. I had thought about running, but I couldn't leave Edward just sitting there at the beach. After all these years I thought that Edward didn't physically want me and all my insecure thoughts and "Belly Bella" memories came flooding back. I cried even harder._

_Of course Edward could hear me crying and through my blurred vision I saw him tugging tightly on his hair, his elbows resting on his knees as he muttered under his breath. I wasn't prepared for what Edward told me next. He told me that he was scared. He was scared that he couldn't see what he was doing and he was scared he was going to hurt me. I told him I was scared that he didn't want me physically. To this Edward snorted…he actually snorted. He told me I was crazy. I blushed furiously when he pointed out that I must've felt his erections when I spent the nights in bed with him. I squeaked out an intelligent "oh" and he chuckled and whispered that I was the only one who could ever do that to him. That made me smile and I crawled into his lap, pulling him in to a tight hug. _

_Well, things got better after that and I knew Edward was going to have a "problem" shall we say, when we decided to get into the water. Angela had taken me to buy a new bikini…a very tiny bikini. It was a blue bandeau top and tiny bottoms. I rolled my eyes when Angela made me try it on, also pointing out that Edward wouldn't see it, but she's the one who put the idea in my head that Edward could FEEL it. And boy did he feel it. _

_I led Edward into the water holding his hand, but not letting him touch any other part of me. I had to try very hard to keep my tongue in my mouth. When Edward stood in his boardshorts, without his shirt, I almost drooled all over myself. Edward still worked out, supervised by a trainer at the gym. He was incredibly toned but not overly muscle-y. Broad shoulders, sculpted chest, chiseled abs, and those sexy V shaped lines on his hips…oh lordy, Edward Cullen is a regular Adonis._

_When we were waist deep in the water I felt Edward shiver a bit. It was cold but it felt like my body was on fire every time I looked at Edward. I slowly took both of Edward's hands on placed them on my hips. He panicked of course and tried to pull away but I stopped him. I let him feel my body slowly and I shivered in pleasure as he ran his hands over my bare skin. Edward was breathing unevenly the entire time. He yelled out in surprise when I guided his hands over my boobs. Thank goodness no one else was around. I heard Edward groan and he shivered again before he pulled me tight against his body. My still 5'4" frame fit perfectly with his now 6'2" one. I squeaked in surprise when our hips came together and I felt how hard Edward was even in the cold ocean. _

_We made out in the ocean a little while longer, but I still wanted Edward to take this next "step" with me. I told him I wanted him to make love to me. He of course was still hesitant but agreed we could try. I promised him that we would progress slowly and I also told him how much this meant to me. He still muttered his self-loathing words but I would have none of it. He promised that we would try before the surgery, since I also expressed how scared I was of losing him through the surgery more than once. _

_As we headed home I held Edward's hand as I drove us. Something was definitely different. It felt like everything was shifting now that Edward and I had agreed to take this step. The future is shifting and I am looking forward to it. Until next time. _

**Okay…so I bet a lot of you have figured out where this is going. **

**Just so we're clear, only Angela, Ben, Esme, and Carlisle know what Bella looks like physically. I'll explain why no one else does a little more later. And it might seem far-fetched, but this is FF so why the hell not right? :-P Edward met Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett all when he came to New York.**

**Hmmmm…coming up, everyone's favorite doctor and interior designer will make their grand entrance…and something citrus-y too. :-P **

**Let me know how I'm doing? Or just keep reading because seeing that people are checking out the story makes me smile too. Review if you can. Pretty please? :- ) **


	6. Chapter 5: A Little Too Not Over You

**Disclaimer: Not mine…I wish I was that genius**

**A/N: So…this took me a while. In her (I've realized I've just assumed you're a "her". Sorry. Let me know otherwise?) simple review, ajenc gave me a lot to think about. So thank you for that. I write much better (in ALL ways, FF, work, etc.) when others give me things to think about. So thank you ajenc, you're awesome.**

**And all of you that are even reading this thing, you're freaking awesome too! Reviews or not, thanks for reading. It makes me smile.**

**I'm still on my family reunion trip. It has given me a lot of free time (amazingly) but I've also been stuck trying to write and take into account what ajenc has made me think about. And YES, the title is a David Archuleta song. He is another one of my guilty music pleasures. Anyway, enough from me.**

**Oh right, and things get…limey? The M rating will be coming into play for things other than Edward being a potty mouth :-P Right, and the present time frame, it's the Fall of 2008. Let's say…end of September-ish.**

_**Tell me why**_

_**It's so hard to forget**_

_**Don't remind me I'm not over it**_

_**Tell me why**_

_**I can't seem to face the truth**_

_**And I really don't know what to do**_

_**I'm just a little too not over you**_

_**-David Archuleta, "A Little Too Not Over You"**_

Chapter 5: A Little Too Not Over You

"ALICE! The next time teenagers come in here can you PLEASE try and take it seriously! Do you honestly think they're here to buy a thousand dollar painting!?!"

We just closed the store and I was pacing and pinching the bridge of my nose as Alice apologized over and over again for letting the group of four teenage girls come in here and fawn all over me and corner me in the store. I swear I almost had a panic attack.

"Edward I'm sorry! I was helping those other women and I didn't take a good look at them! I really am sorry!"

I huffed and sat down in the chair in the office. Apparently word was spreading that there was a VERY good-looking artist who worked in the trendy shop, New Moon. I almost choked on my coffee at Starbucks the other morning because I heard someone talking about the "artist". Great. That's just what I needed…girls coming in and throwing themselves at me. At least today was finally Friday. I couldn't hide the fact that I was looking forward to seeing Angela and Ben again. I was good at putting on a "happy face" so to speak when I had to. I knew at the end of the night after everyone went home though, I would be tearing myself apart inside and feeling like I was dying because Bella wouldn't be there.

That's what happened every time I finished reading the entire set of journals. Every time September 13th passed without Bella in my life. Every holiday I spent alone without her. Every January 29th, the day we decided was our anniversary because that was the day I asked her to be my girlfriend. Every time one of these days passed, I was simply reminded of another year without my love, reminded of the fact that I should probably hate her for abandoning me, and the ever painful reminder of the fact that despite everything, I love her too much to let her go.

"Ugh! Alice, forget about it! Let's just go to the market and go home. I have to get the groceries for tomorrow night."

"Edward can I dress you?" The little pixie was standing in front of me still looking guilty about earlier, but traces of her infamous puppy dog pout on her lips.

"Fine Alice."

"I knew you would say yes! I have some new stuff for you and Jasper. It won't be on the shelves until next month."

I chuckled and nodded as we headed out and took off towards Whole Foods and then home. Since getting my vision back, there were a ton of things I had wanted to do. One of them was learning to cook, and that was mostly due to Bella. She was a fantastic cook and used to make things for me all the time. For tomorrow I decided to make one of my favorites of Bella's, beef stroganoff and berry cobbler. It wasn't the exact same recipe, but it tasted close enough for me. I made it countless times for myself whenever I thought of Bella, mostly around our anniversary in January and her birthday. The sick man in me consumed all the food that reminded me of my lost love and then I purged my pain through tears. Good lord, I'm sick. If Alice ever found out this is truly how bad I was getting, she'd kill me only to bring me back to life so she could kill me again. I promised her I was "moving on" and what not with my life without Bella, but in reality, if I honestly let myself think about it for a second, I was getting worse.

I shook my head to clear these thoughts as Alice pulled up to my apartment. Tonight I would prepare for facing Angela & Ben and build up the wall I needed for my "happy face". I was almost done with the journals, but now was not the time to crumble to pieces. I considered that maybe there was something really and truly wrong with me. Six years is a long time…she's moved on, why am I the one who's still stuck here? She left me, and I should be flaming pissed at her and hate her, but after reading the journals that first time and every time after, I've just fallen even deeper in love. I've accepted that I'll never see her again (not that I know what she looks like anyway, thanks to my own ego, stupidity, temper…whatever you want to blame it on), but there are brief moments where I ask myself why I still love her so much. I can't stop.

I said goodbye to Alice and made my way up to my apartment on the top floor of my building. While many figured I didn't make a lot of money, I had sold quite a bit of paintings including some to Jay-Z (which shocked the crap out of me) and two to Sarah Michelle Gellar. They also recommended me to their friends and I ended up with a rather rich clientele. Sometimes I got requests and other times they just strolled into the store to see what I had. And of course this did wonders for Alice's fashions. S.M.G. was pictured at a party in one of Alice's dresses so that brought in some new people too. Now I'd just have to figure out a way of killing this rumor about the "sexy" artist. Angela probably had some ideas. She is after all an assistant to the most reclusive author of our generation.

My phone started to ring in my pocket as I was holding all the groceries and trying to get into the door. I almost dropped everything as I shoved my door open and rushed to put things down in the kitchen.

"Hang on damn it!" I shouted to my phone as if that would make my voicemail stop from picking up. I growled as I accidentally kicked my island counter in the kitchen and hastily whipped out my phone to answer.

"Hello?" I said out of breath and in perhaps not the nicest tone.

"Edward," my father replied, "Are you okay?"

I sighed, honestly a little surprised it was my father, "Fine, just got home. How are you and mom?"

"Good son. Unfortunately I'm uh, I'm not calling with the best of news."

Fear gripped me. Whenever bad news was coming at me from Forks, I automatically assumed it was about Bella. I gulped before I spoke.

"It's…it's not…" I couldn't even bring myself to say it.

"No Edward…not directly," my father sighed heavily. That did nothing to calm my nerves. What the hell does "not directly" mean?!

I loved my father and he understood almost better than anyone how much Bella's disappearance hurt me. He even got into a fight with Charlie Swan about the whole thing. From what I'm told, it was like a full on brawl. I can't even picture my father, the calm and collected chief of staff doctor, getting into a fistfight with the chief of police. And he only came out of it with a bruised cheek and no arrest. I always wondered how Charlie looked. Charlie had referred to me as a freak and that he didn't want me ruining Bella's future and that she had left me for a good reason, which supposedly was she didn't want to be tied down to helping a freak like me. I knew Charlie had made her, and I never would've thought that she would leave me for those reasons, but I couldn't help but think that maybe Charlie was right. She wrote me a note when she left me her journals, but I firmly believed he somehow manipulated her into honestly believing that leaving me was for my own good. I still didn't understand why. The thought tormented me every day.

"What happened dad?"

"It's…well, it's Charlie Swan. He died from a heart attack two days ago."

It was like the air got knocked out of me. I might have hated the man for taking Bella away from me and doing everything in his power to keep me from finding her, but he was a good man to me before when we were growing up.

"Edward? Are you still there?"

"Uh, yeah…" I muttered.

"The funeral is on Sunday afternoon. Despite…everything, your mother and I are going to go, and we thought you should know."

"Yeah…yeah, I'll uh, I'll make arrangements to fly out tomorrow."

"Edward," my father started, "I don't…I don't know if Bella will be there. Sue Clearwater said she hasn't been able to contact Bella at all."

I sighed. I couldn't hate Sue Clearwater. She had been dating Charlie for a long time, since Bella and I were in high school. She was a kind woman who lost her husband when we were younger. Charlie and Harry were best friends. While I don't think I can ever forgive Charlie Swan, I could never hate Sue Clearwater. She honestly tried to help me once, but she couldn't find anything in Charlie's study or drawers or anywhere that hinted at where Bella might've gone. The man was after all a police chief and knew all the tricks. And Sue was too honest of a woman to lie to me. I trusted her. With the news of Sue not being able to contact Bella, my heart sank just a little. While I had given up on ever seeing her again, a small glimmer of hope now flickered in my mostly dormant heart.

"I should be there dad. Charlie might have screwed me over, but he was a good man to me when I was growing up. I should be there to honor that man."

"Alright Edward, let your mother and I know when you're coming in and we'll come get you."

"Okay, see you guys tomorrow dad."

"Bye Edward."

"Bye dad."

I closed my phone and sighed, running my hands through my hair. This would be so much harder than just putting on my "happy face". I was returning to Forks, a place that haunted me and I hadn't returned to in years. I was going back to a small town and gossip and potentially a moment that could very well crush me to pieces. What would I do if Bella were there? I tried not to think of that just yet. I had to cancel dinner for tomorrow. I knew Alice would be disappointed but I was sure we could reschedule. I also knew she might come over and kick my ass for going to Charlie's funeral, but when I told her she didn't say anything. She just expressed condolences and said to let her know when I came back to New York. My phone beeped and I had a new text message. I flipped my phone open and saw that the message was from Angela.

"Can't make it to dinner tomorrow night. Something's come up. Sorry. Call you to reschedule soon?"

I quickly sent a reply saying that it was fine and that I hoped everything was okay. I briefly wondered if Angela knew about Charlie, but I didn't want to be the one to tell her. I'm sure her parents had already told her. Her father was, after all, the town minister. And Angela was never on bad terms with Charlie. I thought about asking if she and Ben were going to be there, but I decided against it. Emmett never got back to me about the dinner, but I sent him a message simply saying I had to cancel at the last minute. He never answered. I found a flight leaving first thing in the morning and I packed hastily.

I didn't sleep well at all that night and still couldn't manage to sleep on the plane rides. My thoughts kept going back to Bella. Would she be there? Would I recognize her? Would she want to see me? Did she want to talk to me? More importantly, how would I react if she was there? I almost passed out meeting Angela in the store. What would happen if I saw Bella? Would I be happy? Sad? Flaming pissed like Alice has told me I should be? So many questions were buzzing through my head and could feel myself getting a headache. Before I knew it I had already flown to Seattle and in a daze got on my flight to Port Angeles, which was now landing.

True to their word, my mother and father were waiting there to pick me up. Even now in their 50's, they still looked like a couple of movie stars. I easily spotted my mother Esme with her caramel hair and the blond hair of my father Carlisle. People always wondered where my bronze hair came from, but clearly it was all from Esme. It was almost like they never aged. They still had the same beautiful features as they did the first time I saw them 6 years ago. My mother looked like she was almost in tears as she rushed forward and threw her arms around me. I felt guilty about the fact that I hadn't seen them in years until my mother's arms were around me. In that moment, I felt like a child again, melting into the embrace of his mother.

"Oh Edward! I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you guys too mom," I said as I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame.

I let go of my mother and ignored my father's extended hand and instead embraced him in a tight hug. I felt him stiffen in surprise, but then gently pat my back. I let go and looked at him as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I'm sure he was surprised that I was showing a form of physical affection by hugging him. After Bella left, I was a shell of a man for a long time. The memories of my "dark times" are kept hidden in my mind, but they have been fighting their way to the surface more often lately. I knew this was going to be a rough trip. I knew my "happy face" was not enough to fool my father, and especially not my mother. I only hoped that they couldn't see how truly pathetic and well, honestly problematic, I was becoming.

"It's good to have you home, son. I wish it was under better circumstances."

I nodded as we headed out to the car. The drive to Forks from Port Angeles was shorter than I remembered and I just watched the greenery pass by in a blur as I answered the questions from my parents about New York and the store and what not. They actually hadn't been out there to see it yet. My father doesn't like to travel far away from his hospital and his patients and my mother has plenty of clients in the whole Washington state that keep her busy for months at a time. Its not like I truly minded. When I was in Forks they hovered over me until my decision to go to UW just to get them off my backs. With everything with Bella and then their constant worrying about me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. New York was an escape, but I knew I was just running and not facing my problems. I knew what my problem was, but I didn't want to face it. Facing it meant truly accepting that Bella wasn't coming back, and that is something I don't think I'll ever be able to do. I briefly wondered if I should contact Dr. Stephens, but I quickly pushed it out of my mind when I saw the sign. I did my best to keep from having a panic attack as I saw the sign telling us "Welcome to Forks." It was anything but really welcome in my mind, but the flicker of hope that was the possibility of seeing Bella kept my mind off other things.

Our beautiful home still looked the same as when I left. The large white house still had its covered wrap around porch and I could see the large glass windows that made up most of the walls in the living room. It was an eerie feeling to be stepping into our home now. The whole house seemed thick with memories of things I'd rather not recall. My mother and father left me to my unpacking and I stood frozen, letting my bag fall out of my hand, in the middle of my old bedroom. Everything looked the same as when I left, and I was suddenly hit with memories.

_Flashback_

"_Edward please…" Bella begged between the slow and tortuous kisses she was placing all over my neck. I didn't mean for the moan to escape my lips but it did. Bella continued her assault on my neck as her body writhed against my own. I was unbelievably hard and very glad that my parents weren't home right now. My left arm was wrapped around Bella's shoulders, trying feebly to keep her in place, while my right hand was clenching the sheets tightly._

"_Bella…I-"_

"_Edward I want you to," she cut me off, "Please touch me."_

_While those were words I'm sure every other 18-year-old male in the world longed to hear from their girlfriends, I was terrified. I wanted to, God did I want to, but not being able to see what I was doing still scared me more than anything. I was also worried that I wouldn't be good enough for my Bella. That she'd finally realize she deserved someone who was complete. I wanted to wait until the surgery was done, but Bella pleaded with me to let us try before because she was so scared that she might lose me during the surgery. I was scared of that too, but I'd never admit it to Bella. I had to stay strong for her. _

"_Bella, I don't…I don't know what to do," I whispered._

_Slowly I felt Bella roll and bring me with her so that I could feel myself hovering over her body. I successfully stifled my moan this time when my erection came into contact with her hip. We had indeed been progressing slowly in this area and now, at the end of April, we lay here in my bed, me in just my boxers and Bella in her underwear and a tank top. _

"_Do you trust me?" she whispered, as she gently stroked my cheeks._

"_Of course love."_

_Bella took my right hand and I could feel her body tremble when it came in contact with the smooth bare skin of her stomach. She left my hand to wander her soft skin as she pulled me head down to hers and smashed our lips together. Her tongue traced along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth as she slipped her tongue in. We both moaned at the contact and I let my hand wander over the smooth expanse of her skin. Her hands tangled their way into my hair as I let my left hand tangle into her long silky curls._

_I moved my hand up over her ribs and I could feel her chest heaving and her short breaths in my ear as she moved her lips on to my neck. I moved my hand higher expecting the material of her bra and it seemed like everything happened at once. I felt the her bare, smooth, and supple breast under my palm, Bella moaned out loudly and she shifted against my hips causing my own moan of pleasure to leave me mouth. _

"_Bella!" I cried out, my hands frozen where they were._

"_More Edward," she panted._

_I didn't hesitate again after her urging, and squeezed and rubbed her breast, and it felt like they were made to fit perfectly in my hands. Bella moaned loudly as I moved my lips and dragged them across her jaw and down her neck. Her body began to move under mine, causing my mind to cloud over with lust. In that moment, the lust made me feel like a normal teenage boy._

_Unexpectedly, Bella took my right hand and moved it back down her body. Her lips returned to my own and our lips moved in perfect sync together. I jumped and paused when I felt Bella slip our hands down under the edge of her panties._

"_Bella! I can-"_

"_Please Edward…please…" she whimpered, "Trust me Edward."_

_I gave in and let Bella guide my hand lower and I fought my nerves and tried not to shake. Her lips returned to my neck as my fingers glided lower through her curls. We both sucked in sharp breaths when my finger slipped between her wet lips._

"_There Edward…" Bella panted as her hand left mine and returned to my hair, pulling my lips down to hers._

_As we kissed I let my curious fingers slide farther. She was so wet and she moaned as my fingers came in contact with her swollen clit. I was suddenly thankful for at least partially paying attention during the sex ed unit in Biology. Bella cried out loudly and I froze, scared that I hurt her._

"_Oh God Edward, more…please…."_

_Reassured by her moans and heavy breathing, I continued to circle her clit with my finger. Her hips began to grind against me and I let them slip lower. I found her entrance and let my finger dip in slowly._

"_Mmmmmmmm…Edward…" Bella moaned loudly as she shifted her back off the bed and pressed herself against my hand and body. I slowly continued to move my finger in and out of her before I slipped in another. Bella moaned out loudly again and her breathing began to quicken. She felt so tight around my fingers and I could feel her pulsing around them. Her hips were grinding against my hand and I couldn't stop my hips from beginning to grind themselves against her._

"_Bella…" I panted into her neck. She responded with another moan as I continued my ministrations. I was so clouded in my lust that I barely felt Bella's hand ghosting down my chest and stomach and I jumped when I felt her hand slip into my boxers._

"_Bella!" I cried out. She didn't stop as she wrapped her tiny hand around my erection. I couldn't breath as she gripped me._

"_Trust Edward…" she whispered against my neck. I couldn't deny this woman anything. I let her stroke me as her lips came back to my own. Our hands continued their actions against each other as our hips began to rock faster. We were both moaning and breathing harder and I could feel the pressure building in my stomach. I clenched my eyes shut tightly as I fought the urge to cry out and the impending urge to explode all over her hand._

"_Bella…stop…st-stop…" I barely stuttered out._

"_Edward!" she moaned. She was tight around my fingers and I could feel her walls clenching tighter and tighter. She wasn't going to last much longer and neither was I. She cried my name out loud again and I couldn't take it anymore. I felt myself explode around her hand and I heard myself cry out loudly for her._

_Bella screamed out what sounded like a mangled version of my name and I felt her body convulsing under mine and I fought with all my strength not to collapse on top of her. I buried my head deep into the crook of her neck. The room was silent except for the sound of our ragged breathing. After some time she spoke. _

"_Edward," Bella whispered, "Would it be too cliché right now to tell you I love you?"_

"_I love you Isabella," I panted, to which her response was her musical laugh._

"_Mmmm…let's take a shower before your parents come home."_

_I chuckled and nuzzled her neck before placing a soft kiss there, "You're gonna be the death of me woman."_

_She giggled and began to move our limbs, "I love you Edward Cullen."_

I collapsed heavily on my bed as I ran my hands through my hair. I had avoided coming home at all costs so I wouldn't have to relive such memories. True, I relived them whenever I re-read Bella's journals, but the memories were so much stronger being here Forks. And here in Forks, I knew not all of the memories would be good ones. My memories of the "dark times" also lingered here too.

_Flashback_

_I kept my drapes closed and bathed my room in darkness. The darkness was comforting as I sat on my bed, knees drawn up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them. She was gone…she left me…she didn't want to be burdened by me…I was a freak…_

_It had been weeks now since my bandages came off, my excitement matching that of a child on Christmas day. However, when Bella wasn't there the darkness immediately began to creep in. Charlie's words rang in my head as I rocked back and forth. I wish I couldn't see his face when he told me how I ruined Bella's life and wasted her time. My father was furious and that was the first time I ever saw what anger looked like. My mother led me back to the car and I could still hear Charlie and my father fighting. I hissed like a vampire when a sliver of light beneath my door sliced through the darkness of my room._

"_Edward," my mother called, "Oh Edward, please come downstairs. Angela and Ben are here to see you." _

"_No…"_

"_Edward…"_

"_NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! THEY'RE FUCKING NO HELP TO ME!"_

_My mother gasped loudly, "Edward!"_

"_GO AWAY!" I shouted as I stood up and slammed my palms against the door. I heard my mother gasp loudly. I would never hurt her but I heard her quickly retreating form heading back down the hall.. I collapsed back on the bed, now adding the guilt of what I just did to my mother to my thoughts._

_Shortly after someone pounded on my door. I bet it was my father._

"_Edward Cullen!" the familiar voice of Angela Webber yelled, "Come out here!"_

"_GO AWAY!"_

"_Edward please…I miss her too."_

"_NO!" I roared, "You have no idea what I'm going through! She means more to me than she'll ever fucking mean to you!"_

_There was silence before I heard Angela huff in irritation, which was rare, "Screw you Edward Cullen!" I distinctly heard her feet stomping away._

_Minutes later my father barged into the room, not even stopping to unlock the door and not hesitating for a second to turn on the lights. My eyes had healed enough where that wouldn't have been a concern now. _

"_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I raised you better than this! I-"_

_My father froze when he took in the devastation in my room. No one had dared to set foot in here for days. I had thrown books everywhere, the pages torn and spines broken in half. My clothes were thrown everywhere and the door to my bathroom now sported a gaping hole where my fist had connected with it a few days ago. Trays of uneaten food sat by the door. My father's mouth and eyes seemed to get even wider when he took in my physical state. Since my recovery, I hadn't even bothered to learn things I was supposed to, like basic hygiene. Sure I could shave blind and all, but I hadn't since I had the surgery. I had what was close to a month of beard on my face, my hair was a crazy and chaotic dirty mess, and I hadn't eaten a thing in days now._

_My father didn't say anything as he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. I was so weak I couldn't even physically fight back. I screamed at him as he dragged me to the living room where my mother sat with a bunch of what I knew to be boxes on the table. _

"_Edward…Bella left these with Angela. They're all for you," my mother said softly._

_The fact that someone said her name set me off completely. There was an envelope on top of the box and I grabbed it and threw it into the fireplace, screaming in a rage. I vaguely remember my father grabbing me and keeping me from throwing anything else into the fireplace. For a few days now, I guess I had moved past the moping and mourning stage, and now I was in a full on angry grieving stage. I was screaming up a storm, not making any sense as my father held me back, trying in vain to calm me down. I could feel the tears pouring down my cheeks and my throat becoming raw. Eventually I passed out from the enormity of all that I was feeling._

I sighed, leaning against the headboard. My behavior continued like that for weeks before I finally listened to Carlisle and talked to someone about it all. That pleased my parents and that's when I started the running. Painting had become my outlet, per Dr. Stephens' request that I find something, and I found it calming. I had put my parents through hell in those "dark times" of mine. I was still putting them through hell. I ran away from Forks to the other side of the country. I felt like maybe I should talk to Dr. Stephens. I didn't want to admit it at all, but I was getting worse. I just didn't know how to move on to the point in my life where Bella no longer existed. Hell, before a couple of days ago the last time I even talked to Angela was the night she brought over the journals. I hadn't known what she looked like, and I still didn't know what Ben looked like. I didn't even say goodbye to her or Ben. I have regretted letting those friendships go a lot in the past couple of years. I guess I was lucky that I was at least hopefully going to have them back in my life when I returned to New York.

The smells of my mother's delicious chicken stir fry wafted through the kitchen as I made my way downstairs. My father emerged from his study and smiled as we made our way to the dining room table. My mother's cooking was impeccable as always and our conversation was light as they both asked me more about my life in New York City. I told them of Alice and our store, as well as Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. I told them how I learned to cook and often got together for dinner with my friends. My mother and father insisted that they come visit during Christmas and I told them I would honestly love it. Truth be told, I missed them more than anything during the holidays, but I just couldn't bring myself to come home.

They were both equally shocked to hear that I had run into Angela. My mother said that she had heard that she and Ben got married, but she didn't know they were living in New York. Apparently, despite being the town minister, after the way I parted with Angela, our parents were not the most civil to each other. My parents both knew better than to bring up Bella, but I told them how Angela, Ben, and I were planning to get together with Alice and Jasper upon my return. I also told my mother how Angela was the personal assistant to the reclusive Izzie McCarty. My mom squealed. She actually squealed and went on about how much she loves Izzie McCarty's books. Even my mother thought Love Story was familiar, but she again said it without bringing up Bella. My father and I just chuckled and teased as my mother huffed and cleared away our dishes. Of course she knew we were just teasing her. My father and I watched the news for a bit afterwards. The Mariners were sucking again this year, but I had high hopes for next season. There were rumors that Ken Griffey Jr. was going to come back to retire as a Mariner. Good lord let's hope that's true and he breathes some life back into the team…

I lay in bed, but my memory was too flooded with memories of times Bella and I spent in this exact spot. Thoughts and questions buzzed in my head at what seemed like a deafening volume. Tomorrow morning was Charlie's funeral. I was really nervous for the first time in a very long time. I was praying that Bella would be there, but a part of me was also hoping that she wouldn't be. I wasn't so sure if I could face her, even though she is the love of my life. Though the little glimmer of hope still flickered in the dormant parts of my heart, I was building back up the wall to put out that light and return to accepting that Bella is gone. Except I just can't let go of her yet.

**Well? Yes? No? Maybe? I hope that gave you a little more insight about Edward and his feelings about Bella. I wasn't sure I got everything I should've and this chapter makes me nervous. Not only about Edward's thoughts, but also his limey flashback. I hope that was…suitable enough for you all. Writing things of the citrus variety is new to me, so bare with me.**

**So the envelope Edward threw in the fire was all the pictures Bella ever took of the two of them together. I know it seems far-fetched, but it's FF so deal with it. Please. :-P So yeah, Edward has no idea what Bella looks like, and he's been so devastated by her loss that he can't imagine ever seeing her again, even though he loves her still.**

**The beginning of this chapter was inspired by the pictures I saw today of poor Rob getting mobbed by fan girls in NYC. Really people, he's a normal REALLY nice guy. Let's not mob him (and attempt to tackle him?! That's what it looked like to me anyway)!! It'd be really sad if it gets to the point he can't go ANYWHERE without a bodyguard…**

**Right, so…next chapter will be good. Edward gets the biggest shock in his post-being blind life as **_**someone**_** turns up at the funeral, and his flashback takes us to a…lemony place. : -P**

**Thanks for staying with me. Let me know how you like it. Or not. Just seeing that people are reading makes me smile. Review? Pretty please? (Sorry about the long notes)**


	7. Chapter 6: It's So Hard to Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: ~*le sigh*~ not mine…**

**A/N: Well…I'm at a loss for words, sort of… I just flew for 14 hours yesterday on a plane surrounded by a family that's NEVER flown over the ocean before and they were freaking out a bit. It was driving me nuts. And I just read Rob Pattinson got hit by a taxi?! Even if it was "just a graze", what the hell?! Even a "graze" probably fricking hurts! Paparazzi and crazy fan girls need to chill out.**

**Sorry, I had to rant there, but thank you for reading/checking the story out. Seeing that people are reading makes me smile. :- )**

**To ajenc: Thank you girl! You always give me so much to think about. I can't answer too many of your questions, but I am going to put my "in progress" Master's degree in Psychology/Counseling to some use. :-P Stay with me. I think I've heard someone once tell me patience was a virtue…And don't worry, you didn't offend me in any way. :- ) **

**And Homebody: Why hello. :- ) Thank you for the review. I am quite flattered it's affecting someone's heartstrings. As for soulmates, I believe in them, and hence I am Team Edward all the way. : -P **

**Okie dokie then…Good luck with your emotions in this chapter Edward…**

_**How do I say goodbye **_

_**To what we had**_

_**The good times that made us laugh**_

_**Outweigh the bad **_

_**I thought we'd get to see forever**_

_**But forever's gone away**_

_**It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday **_

_**I don't know where this road**_

_**Is going to lead**_

_**All I know is where we've been**_

_**And what we've been through**_

_**If we get to see tomorrow**_

_**I hope it's worth all the wait**_

_**It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday**_

_**And I'll take with me the memories**_

_**To be my sunshine after the rain**_

_**It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday**_

_**-Boyz II Men, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"**_

Chapter 6: It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

In true Forks form, it was raining this morning. At least it was more of a light misting rather than pouring rain. All of Forks seemed to turn out to honor Charlie Swan, and I had to do my best to ignore the stares and whispers about the return of Edward Cullen. Of course, I also did my best to ignore the fact that there were even more whispers about the fact that Charlie Swan's only child, Isabella, had NOT returned for the funeral. I guess gossip had spread about a "falling out" between the two of them. Of course that gossip also involved me, and at the time my mother and father did everything they could to keep me from hearing about. And of course my "dark times" didn't exactly make me Mr. Social Butterfly. I could barely stand hearing the whispers of what a disrespectful daughter Bella was for not letting go of the past, whatever "the past" might be. Even I, one who was likely directly involved in "the past" had no idea what the truth was. Mrs. Newton almost got a punch in the face from me. I swore that if she said one more negative thing about Bella, obviously directed towards my ears, I wasn't going to hold back. I never regretted escaping the nosy mouths of small townspeople. Thank goodness Mike Newton wasn't around. There would definitely be NO holding back if I had to see him today.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. After the funeral, Sue Clearwater had people over to the old Swan residence for some refreshments. I was hesitant about going, but my mother said we would only stop by for a little bit. I even drove a rental car in case I wanted to leave before my parents. The noise in the small living room was overwhelming, and like I said, if Mrs. Newton said one more thing… I wandered away from the crowd downstairs and slipped away to what I knew to be Bella's old bedroom. Up the stairs, first door to the left. So here I sit on Bella's old bed, and I imagine everything is exactly the same as it had been when she left. Dust covered all the objects in her room and her bed had that musty smell of not being washed or touched in years. There was only one picture on her desk and it wasn't of us. It was Bella, Charlie, and her mother Renee. It looked to be taken when Bella was just born. I examined the photo and briefly tried to decide who I thought Bella would look like more, but quickly turned back from that path. My parents were downstairs and now was not the time to let the "happy face" fall apart. I was amazed that I had even fooled them for a day.

Fortunately, I wasn't able to talk to many people today. Either that or they were afraid to approach me, the long absent son, involved in a popular main story of Forks town gossip. Gossip that involved two, "high profile" (if you will) townsmen: the chief of police and the hospital chief of staff. I actually wouldn't have minded talking to Sue. When I left Forks, she was still battling with the rebellious Seth, her son that was two years younger than me. Seth, Bella, and I had been friends too, although Seth went to school on the reservation in La Push. Thanks to my "dark times" and my destroyed relationship with Charlie Swan, that unfortunately ended any friendship I formed with Sue and Seth. I didn't even know what Seth looked like now. He was just a 16, almost 17, year old boy the last time I ever spoke to Sue.

However, the longer I sat here in Bella's room, the more pieces began to crumble. I tried to make my brain tell my body to leave the room and go back downstairs before disaster struck, but it was too late. I was overcome with memories and let the dam break as my tears burst forth. She had never come back to Forks. She didn't come back to me. She moved on without me, yet I could never think poorly of her. Instead my mind flooded with memories of our first time together, right here in this bed.

_Flashback_

"_Bella, what about your dad?" I hissed as I felt her lead me up the stairs to her bedroom. _

"_He's not here. He's working in Seattle until Monday," she chuckled._

_I stopped and pretended to pout, "And you didn't think to tell me this earlier?"_

"_And just what would you have done had you known?" Bella had that teasing tone in her voice and I bet a smirk on her face. I growled as she laughed and pulled on the lapels of my tuxedo jacket and smashed our lips together._

_In truly cliché Hollywood form, Bella and I had come to the agreement to lose our virginity to each other after the Prom. I shook my head and laughed at first, which of course only led to Bella punching me in the arm. We both said we wanted it to be special and Bella argued that Prom was a special rite of passage and was as good a time as any. _

_I knew that Bella's dress was strapless and fitted around her torso before flaring out at her hips. I could also feel detailed stitching of a pattern going around her torso. She told me it was navy blue. I told Bella I didn't want anything fancy so she told me I was wearing just a classic simple black tuxedo. I was glad that Bella didn't order us any pictures. She knew that pictures were always a sore spot for me, and before learning about this surgery last year, I refused to let anyone take pictures of us together. I didn't see the point and admittedly I acted quite childish about it. Only this year after I decided to have the surgery did I let ONLY Bella start taking pictures of the two of us. Our families and friends respected me enough for that. _

_Bella dragged me forward into her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind us. I stood in what I assumed was the middle of her room and waited as I heard her lock the door. I smiled as I heard her walking back to me. Her hands slid up my chest and locked in the back of my neck._

"_I love you Edward Cullen…so so much…" Bella whispered as she placed kisses along my jaw. _

_I almost purred in content as I nuzzled my face into the soft curls on Bella's head. Slowly Bella's hands pushed the material of my jacket off my shoulders and I let it fall to the floor. I toed my shoes and socks off as Bella worked on my tie. I let my hands travel up her sides and to the center of her back, where I found the zipper for her dress. Bella whimpered as my fingers ghosted along the bare flesh of her back, inch by inch as I worked the zipper down. _

_The material fell off her body to the floor and Bella held onto my forearms as she stepped out of her dress. Her breaths came quicker as I moved my hands up the bare skin of her back. I stifled my chuckle as I felt Bella fumble with the buttons of my shirt. I guess I jinxed myself because my fingers fumbled when they unsnapped her bra. Bella giggled and I threw the offending garment off to the right somewhere. I growled but it turned into a whimper as Bella pressed our now bare chests against each other and her lips began a tortuous circuit across my chest before she pushed the material of my shirt off my body. _

"_Still too much clothes…" she muttered and I jumped as I felt her hands on my belt._

"_Bella…" I barely breathed out. She chuckled no doubt feeling the straining bulge in my pants. It felt like I was going to break through the zipper at any moment. Bella's lips returned to my chest as I felt her fingers ghost over my erection while she pushed my pants and boxers down my legs. I shivered from the newfound coldness but could feel my rock hard erection throbbing against Bella's stomach as she pushed her body against mine and moved us back._

_I fell back onto the bed pulling Bella down with me. She giggled and I decided that sound will forever be the most beautiful sound in the world to me. She shifted and pulled our bodies up further on the bed so that our heads now rested on her pillows. I inhaled deeply as I took in the scent of her, trying in vain to calm my nerves. Bella pulled me again and I moved following her guidance so I now hovered over her body. Bella pulled my head down and I began to place kisses along her collarbone. The sounds of Bella's heavy breaths and soft moans spurred me on as I ventured lower. Her hands tangled themselves into my hair as my lips met the soft flesh of her breasts. My lips ghosted over her flesh earning purrs and sighs of my name._

_I moved my way back up her body as her hands began to roam over my back. The sensations of her flesh in contact with mine was setting my entire body on fire. Her touch did something to me that I knew I would never feel with anyone else. I found her lips and swept them up in a passionate kiss. As our tongues battled I let my hand drag lower over her smooth stomach down between her legs. I paid attention during sex ed and though it didn't really pertain to me, a male, I had learned that this would hurt for Bella. I tried to knock the more scientific sounding terms out of my mind as I let my fingers slip between now familiar territory._

"_Edward…" my love moaned as I nipped and sucked at her neck. My fingers found her swollen nub and I began slow circles. Bella cried out and writhed against my body as I continued my ministrations._

"_P-p-please…Edward..." Bella panted heavily. Our lips connected again as I removed my fingers and slowly slipped my body between her legs and hissed when my sensitive tip came into contact with her warmth. I did my best not to shake, but I was nervous. I really didn't want to hurt Bella in any way at all. While I could feel everything, the thundering pulse of our heartbeats in our chests, Bella's panting breaths against my neck, our hips locked together in the most intimate of ways…I was so scared now, here, that something would go terribly wrong._

"_Edward," Bella whispered and then I felt her small hand against my cheek. I had my eyes closed tightly as I began to breath harder. I knew she could tell what I was feeling. She always knew me so well._

"_I'm scared…" I whimpered. She knew all too well what I meant. Bella's thumb gently caressed my cheek and I felt her pull her body up slowly and her soft lips press against my own._

"_Don't be," she whispered, "we belong together."_

_We said nothing else as she kissed me again and helped me position my hips. I was doing all I could to keep my weight off of her and keep myself under control as my tip met her entrance. Bella had been on the birth control pill for a couple of years now to help regulate her period so I was thankful we didn't have to worry about fumbling around with a condom our first time. Bella's head rested against the crook of neck, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I let my head fall into the crook of her neck before I placed a kiss against it._

"_I love you Isabella," I whispered repeatedly as I slowly began to move my hips forward. I moaned and Bella gasped out loudly. There was no way to describe what I was feeling other than it was like heaven. Our breaths came quicker and I felt like I was in a haze of pleasure. Bella's nails dug into my back and she whimpered, drawing me to the present. I had heard it described before, but I couldn't imagine the pain I was causing Bella. Her breathing had spiked and her nails were digging deep into my shoulder blades. I happily took the pain she was giving me. I remained frozen as I let my lips graze Bella's neck in attempts to calm her, all the while whispering that I loved her. Her breathing slowed and I nearly jumped out of my skin when Bella's hips thrust gently against my own._

_I followed her cue and I slowly pressed forward, pausing a moment to let us both revel in the sensation of being fully connected before I pulled out slowly only to push back in again. My rhythm was slow as Bella's hands began to travel across my back. What seemed like all too soon, the sounds of our breaths in her silent room were joined by our mutual moans for each other. _

_I thrust faster and harder as Bella's hips were now meeting my own thrusts. The only sounds in the room were our moans and cries of pleasure and the glorious sound of our skin slapping together with every thrust. I could feel the sweat on our bodies as we slid up and down each other's chest. My mind was clouded over with lust as I felt Bella's walls begin to clench tightly around me._

_That was all it took as my thrusts became more erratic and Bella's cries became louder and louder. Bella screamed my name out into the night as I felt her back arch off the bed and her chest press against my own. With one more hard thrust I felt myself explode as I called out to my love. My hips still thrust slowly on the their own as we rode out our orgasms. It was like nothing I had ever experienced and I collapsed on Bella's chest. She held me tightly as one of her hands traced the muscles on my back before running through my hair. Our breaths were labored as we lay together for what seemed like an eternity._

_Slowly I slipped out and heard Bella softly whimper as I rolled to the side, only to feel her follow me and lay herself on my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist. I wrapped my arms around her small frame as I felt her press her lips to my chest._

"_Are you okay love?" I whispered, trailing my fingers slowly up and down her spine._

"_I'm perfect," she whispered as she nuzzled my chest, "I love you Edward Cullen."_

"_I love you Isabella Swan…forever."_

"_Always Edward. You are my life now."_

My fingers were gripping my hair tightly as I replayed her words to me. _"You are my life now"._ She never came back for me…she could have…she should have! I angrily slammed my fists down on her mattress before standing. If I really was her life then she shouldn't have left! She wouldn't have let Charlie keep us apart! She should have come back! I felt the angry tears slip down my cheeks. Once in a while these thoughts crept into my head and a little voice told me that I should give up on Bella because clearly she doesn't want to see me ever again. For Christ's sake she didn't even come to her own father's funeral! _"Probably to avoid you," _the small voice in my head said to me. I growled in frustration. If it was so easy for her to say goodbye to me, why couldn't I let her go?

I snapped out of my self-loathing when I heard shouting from downstairs. I wiped my tears hastily away and left the room that would haunt me for the remainder of my time here in Forks. I quickly reminded myself that now was not the time to go to pieces like this. I would call Alice when I got back to New York tomorrow, simply saying I need some time to get back on NYC time. You didn't need to be a psychic to know I was probably really just going to fall apart and lock myself away in my misery for a day or two. That was all I would need to get the "happy face" back in form to face Alice. I made my way down the stairs and I could hear Sue shouting, but my vision of her was obscured by a VERY large man standing in the kitchen. This must be Seth. I had heard those Quileute boys were huge. He must've just got in. I shook my head and hid my smirk. He was fighting with his mom and now was not the time for me to be laughing at his short hair hidden under a beanie. What a rebel…chopping off all his hair.

"What do you mean she wouldn't come!?!"

"I tried okay!" That was not the voice I had known to be Seth's as a boy. Though he was yelling and his throat was obviously hoarse from that. This male voice sounded oddly familiar, and not because it was Seth.

"Well you should have tried harder! He's her own father for crying out loud!" Sue shouted back, my sight of her still obscured.

"Look I tried okay! I had to leave last night though if I wanted to be here by this afternoon! He was my uncle too you know! And I almost don't blame Bella for not coming after all her did to her!"

Uncle? Who the hell was this then? Obviously this wasn't Seth, otherwise there would be some sort of incestuous thing that had been going on here for the better part of a decade. My nose crinkled and I remained silent as I tried not to think about that and kept my presence on the staircase hidden. I knew it was wrong to be standing there listening, but if this wasn't Seth, I was curious to know why this hoarse voice sounded so familiar. And above all, he knew Bella. That was more than a reason for me to find out who this was if it wasn't Seth.

"You take that back right now young man! He was still her father!"

"Look Sue, when mom and dad passed away, Bella and I were the only family Charlie had left. You think I didn't try my damn hardest to get Bella here? Rosalie and YOUR son are still at her apartment trying to convince her to fly here!"

My heart stopped and I felt all the air leave me body. _Rosalie. _Oh God…no, no, no… It felt like my world was falling apart again. Surely this wasn't…

"Emmett McCarty, Bella is your only cousin and Charlie's ONLY daughter and you're telling me she couldn't put aside the past to fly here and say goodbye to her father?!"

I held tight to the banister to keep from falling over. My world shattered upon hearing the name of one of my best friends in New York. I barely caught the sight of my parents coming into the kitchen doorway before I heard my mother cry "Edward!"

Sure enough the large man in front of me whipped around and I was face to face with my friend from New York City, Emmett McCarty.

"E-Edward…what are you-"

"You're Bella's cousin?" I said, trying desperately to keep some bit of myself together, but the venom was laced clearly in my words.

"Um…yeah…" Emmett muttered.

"And Rosalie is at her apartment in New York City?"

"Look Edward I-"

I just exploded. There was no way to any part of myself together any longer. "YOU KNEW! YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY! I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING ABOUT BELLA!"

I couldn't control my yelling and my body was shaking with rage. My mother's hand was covering her mouth in shock and my father looked shocked as well as they realized that this must be my "good friend" Emmett from the city. Emmett looked like he wanted to speak again but I cut him off.

"NO! I told you EVERYTHING about Bella! You know how much I love her and she lives in fucking New York City!?! WERE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL ME!?!"

Everyone stood motionless in the kitchen looking at Emmett and I. The rage in me was almost uncontrollable. The man I thought was one of my best friends was actually Bella's cousin and knew that she lived in New York City. He knew how much I loved Bella and how I longed for her, yet he never told me how to find her.

"Edward, I couldn't I-"

"YES YOU COULD HAVE!" I roared, "She's what keeps me barely living and you choose to keep her from me!"

"Edward let's talk I-"

I screamed and I saw Emmett flinch back before I took off out the door. I was suddenly thankful that my mother suggested I drive on my own in case I wanted to leave early. I was at my car door when I heard Emmett behind me.

"Look Edward, please, let's just talk. I can explain ever-"

I surprised myself when I whirled around and punched Emmett in the face, sending him flying backwards to the ground. I heard my mother scream my name from the house and I looked down at Emmett. I didn't believe the remorse I saw in his face and he made no move to get up as he held his jaw.

"Stay away from me Emmett McCarty."

With that I got into the car and took off out of the Swan driveway. I didn't look back and drove quickly for the airport. My parents could send me the one bag I packed and brought with me. I made it to Seattle in less than three hours. I would be alarmed about the speeds I must have been driving to make that time later. Or the fact that I just had what was probably the biggest "episode" if you will, in the history of my, well, I guess "dark times". No matter what I told myself or who I talked to, the truth of the matter was, the past six years were all "dark times" without Bella. I went to Seattle knowing my father would try to stop me in Port Angeles. I turned my cell phone off after the third time he tried to call me.

I luckily got onto a flight that left two hours later and felt like I was in a daze as I sat on my way back to New York City. I sent a quick text to my parents letting them know I wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere and that I would contact them later before quickly shutting off my phone again. Bella lived in New York City. Emmett was her cousin. Did that mean she knew I was friends with Emmett? Did he tell her? Why didn't she come see me? I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. There were too many thoughts running around in my head. All I knew was that here I was running away from the memories of Forks again, only to find that the ghosts of yesterday were alive in New York. There was no way to say goodbye to the past.

**Yes? No? Was it what you were expecting? Honestly, who thought I was finally going to bring Bella into the story? No no…there are bigger surprises down the road for poor Edward. Remember, she's moved on and left him behind…**

**Did we all see Emmett coming? I've definitely thrown hints around quite a bit in this story…you'll just have to see how it all plays out. :-P **

**And the lemon…meh, well…I'm not terribly good at writing smut, but like ajenc said, sometimes fluff is needed. Hopefully it pleased some of you.**

**So…next up, well, here's a surprise: It'll all be in Alice's POV. She is my 2****nd**** favorite of the bunch (but holy crap Jasper in the movie in the baseball scene twirling that damn bat around…MEGA sexy!). We'll get Alice's take on things as well as Jasper's ever so wise input.**

**And Seth, he's my favorite werewolf (I'm not at all Team Jacob cuz honestly in the books, up until Nessie showed up and blinded Jacob's world, I wanted to punch him in the face) so I think I'll bring him in cuz I just like him that much. :-P As for Jacob…meh, I did just say I'm not at all Team Jacob…**

**Thanks for sticking with me. Seeing that people are still reading makes me smile. Review if you can. Pretty please? :-P (Sorry…I ramble)**


	8. Chapter 7: Tracks of My Tears

**Disclaimer: All you Stephenie Meyer…thanks for letting us all play.**

**A/N: I'm considering starting all over again with this story…or maybe at least re-doing the first 3 chapters. I'm thinking people aren't getting into the first few, so they don't read on. And honestly, I don't really feel like I did a good job with them. I feel like my writing is getting better as we go on (cuz really, who doesn't write better once they have feedback?). What do you guys think? Nothing major will change…I'd just, add stuff and be clearer about some things. Do something to hook people more or something I don't know.**

**Not that I don't love you guys that are simply reading the story! Seeing that people read does make me smile. :- ) Reviews make me write better, but just knowing this is getting read is awesome. And ajenc and Homebody, even if I'm just writing to amuse myself and the two of you, thank you for your input. You guys are awesome and totally rock! :- )**

**And I know Adam Lambert didn't sing the original, but good lord I love that guy's voice. Not to mention the guy completely floored me with this performance. I don't care if he's gay, the man is HOT and can sing his ass off! :-P**

**Okay…this chapter is…rough times. Did I mention Alice is my 2****nd**** favorite Cullen? **

_**Since you left me if you see me with somebody else**_

_**Seeming like I'm having fun yeah**_

_**Although they might be cute **_

_**There's no substitute**_

_**Cuz you're the only permanent one **_

_**So take a good look at my face**_

_**You see my smile looks out of place**_

_**If you look closer it's easy to trace**_

_**The tracks of my tears**_

_**Outside I'm masquerading**_

_**Inside my hope is fading**_

_**Just a clown since you put me down**_

_**My smile is my make-up **_

_**I wear since my break up with you**_

_**So take a good look at my face**_

_**You see my smile looks out of place**_

_**If you look closer it's easy to trace**_

_**The tracks of my tears**_

_**-Adam Lambert, "American Idol" Week 10, "Tracks of My Tears"**_

Chapter 7: Tracks of My Tears

_APOV_

"So you're telling me that you're Edward's Bella's cousin?!" I all but screamed, standing and knocking over my chair in Rose & Emmett's kitchen. Jasper put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down but I shrugged it off. Rose was looking down at the table, guilt evident on her face, as was Emmett as he nodded.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Emmett was Bella's _cousin_, and now only living relative, and he knew she had been living here in the city for the past five years. Not only that, but he knew Edward and Bella's entire story but did nothing to reconnect them. I was fuming. Edward had returned from Forks over two weeks ago and he didn't answer anyone's phone calls and all he told me was that he wasn't coming into the store until further notice. Jasper and I were worried, and then we get a call from Emmett asking if we had talked to Edward. We said no and were confused but Emmett said he would explain later. So here we are two weeks after Edward's return/disappearance, and Emmett has just laid out the entire story of what happened at the funeral and how he's known Edward was in fact Bella's Edward for a long while.

"You're an idiot Emmett McCarty!" I yelled. I marched over and slapped him on the back of the head.

"Darlin'!" Jasper cried. I held my hand up, making Jasper immediately shrink back down in his seat.

"You've known for YEARS that Edward Cullen is in fact madly in love with Bella Swan, your COUSIN, who lives in this fricking city, and you've done NOTHING to get them back together?!"

"Look, it's not that simple okay?" Emmett argued.

"What's not simple about it?" I yelled, "You've both seen Edward! Did you know he's getting worse?! He's reading her journals again and he flat out refuses to meet anyone of the female gender! He's living in the past and all the while one of his best friends is hiding away the woman that he's madly in love with and thinks abandoned him!!"

"Look you don't know the whole story!" Emmett yelled, standing up and towering over me. Jasper was on his feet and quickly pushed me behind him.

"Take it easy partner," Jasper said as Rose gripped Emmett's arms and forced him back down in the chair.

I felt like nothing could calm me down at this moment though. Edward was one of my best friends and I had seen him in his moods when he's trapped in the past. I was there once when he broke down in tears, tightly gripping the last of Bella's journals. Out of all of us, I was definitely the one that was the closest with Edward. I cared about him like a brother, and I would do anything to help him find the happiness that he so deserved. If I ever meet this Bella woman, I am seriously considering letting momma bear out and punching her in the face and letting her have a piece of my mind. I was so angry right now that I didn't even think before words started leaving my mouth.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE RIGHT NOW? He's DEVASTATED! His apartment was a mess, there were papers everywhere, his paint materials were thrown everywhere, he hasn't shaved in probably two weeks and I doubt he's showered either. He's a MESS!!"

When I realized I let that all slip, I slowly met Jasper's eyes, and they were filled with hurt.

"When…when did you see him?" Jazz asked softly.

I gently ran my hand up Jasper's arm willing him to understand. Jasper was close with Edward as well. I just hoped he wouldn't feel betrayed that I did this without him. After Emmett's story, the way I found Edward made perfect sense to me.

"Yesterday. I managed to convince his landlord to give me the key," I whispered back, "You guys were all at work."

Emmett and Rose looked at me, the hurt evident in their eyes. Edward was a good friend to us all and none of us could stand seeing him hurt, but I just couldn't understand how Emmett and Rose could have done nothing about it. He was hurting right in front of their eyes, yet they did nothing.

"Edward was…" I sighed, unsure of how to explain, "He was almost catatonic. He was sitting on his bed, knees pulled up to his chest. He didn't even acknowledge me until I was right in front of him. All he said was my name before he just broke down in tears. I don't even know how long I sat there holding him, but he fell asleep. I cleaned up his apartment and what not, but guys, this…this really hit him."

We sat in silence as everyone absorbed my words. I knew Jasper would forgive me for keeping this from him. Besides Jasper, Edward was my best friend. I sighed, I knew him better than anyone here. I saw what loving Bella was doing to him and I saw what this new information was doing to him and it was killing him.

I sighed, "You guys know Edward only puts on a show for all of us right? I mean you know he's not really happy?"

Everyone nodded and looked at their hands.

"I thought…" Emmett sighed, "I thought maybe he would get over her. She's no better you know. I tried to make her go see him before. She's just so damn stubborn."

"Why don't we get them together?" I asked.

Rosalie sighed heavily, "She knows what happened in Forks at the funeral and all. She's not speaking to either Emmett or myself."

"Which by the way, she shouldn't be taking out on me!" Emmett huffed, "It's not like I knew Edward was gonna be there. Didn't he tell you he was gonna be there?"

Emmett was pointing an accusing finger at me, and just when I thought my anger was done with, I snapped again.

"Don't you dare try to blame me for ANY of this Emmett McCarty! How should I have known that YOU were going to be there! YOU, the supposed 'friend' who's been hiding the love of his life from him! Jazzy, we're going home!"

And with that I dragged Jasper out of his chair and out the door. He did nothing to stop me. I think I might've heard him apologize to Emmett & Rosalie but I was too mad. I was fuming. Emmett & Rosalie rather see our friend suffer when they could have fixed everything years ago.

"Do you believe this?!" I shouted as Jazz drove us home, "All this time they've known Edward & Bella's story yet they have done nothing to bring them back together!!"

"Darlin', you did hear what Emmett said though right?"

I calmed at the sound of Jasper's southern drawl, but had to think back through my red haze of anger.

When I didn't answer Jasper sighed, "Emmett said that we don't know the whole story. There must be more to why he hasn't brought Bella and Edward back together."

"I just…I mean, he's known for years that Edward is THE Edward from Bella's past yet he's done nothing. I don't care how stubborn she is! If she really loved Edward as much as he says that she did, then she would do something about this!"

"I know darlin'. I just don't know what else we can do. She's stubborn apparently, Edward is falling apart…I just…I don't know if we can fix this. I don't want to think the worst…but I…I just can't help it."

Just then my phone beeped signaling I had a text message. I thought about not looking at it in case it was Rose or Emmett but I got a feeling that I should look.

"Oh…it's Edward," I said as I flipped open my phone, "_Thanks for cleaning. I'll see you tomorrow at the store_. Well, tomorrow should be interesting."

_**THE NEXT DAY**_

It was 11:30 now and I was anxiously drumming my fingers on the counter. I asked Edward if he wanted a ride this morning and he said no. Now I was starting to think that he might not be coming in at all again. I still couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that Emmett AND Rose have known for years about Bella being here in the city and that Edward is in fact, her Edward, but have done nothing about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it last night. I don't know what I would do if I was in Edward's position. All I knew was that I was really in no mood to be in the store today.

Just then the bell on our doorway signaling a customer rang and Edward stepped in the door. While he shaved and I assume took a shower, he still looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked noticeably thinner. The blue button up I had given him last month seemed to almost be drowning his frame now and even his jeans seemed to sit lower on his hips. His hair looked even wilder than ever and if it's possible I thought he looked paler. He still had his sunglasses on, but I imagined that his eyes were bloodshot and red.

"Edward!" I gasped, rushing forward and hugging him tightly around the waist.

He was stiff at first but slowly he wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Thank you Alice," before he let go and disappeared back into the office.

By 2:15 no one had come into the store and I didn't take my usual lunch break, choosing instead to eat in the store. Edward only emerged once from the office, asking if I was taking my lunch break. When I said I brought lunch he simply said okay and went back into the office. I couldn't take it anymore. We had to get out of here. I was thinking about where we could go. I certainly didn't want Edward to return home to his solitude now that he had emerged. I got the feeling that we should go visit Jasper. He was done at 2:30 then maybe we could all go for a walk and get some coffee or something. Or maybe that Tasti-D-Lite stuff Edward seems to like. I groaned internally. I actually had no idea if Edward liked it or not. For all I know he was putting on a happy face for me when I dragged him there. Either way, we were closing the store now.

"Edward!" I sang out in my voice that I used whenever I wanted something. After a couple of seconds he still hadn't come out of the office. I fought back the sense of worry that threatened to take hold as I walked slowly back into the office calling his name again. I froze when I saw him.

Edward was sitting with his elbows on the desk, his hands gripping his hair tightly. His head was down and on the desk I saw a letter. He had only spoken to me once about this letter and that was the time I found him in here crying and clutching Bella's last journal. I could only assume that he had finished them again.

I said his name again but Edward only shook his head back and forth and gripped his hair tighter. Cautiously I reached for the letter on his desk, not really sure of the contents. I prayed that this wasn't any other sort of bad news. I didn't think Edward could handle anything else at this moment. I picked it up and slowly began to read.

_July 10__th__, 2002_

_Dear Edward,_

_By the time you read this I'm sure you have gone to my house only to be met by my father. I regret that he is in fact telling the truth that I have left Forks. Please understand that what I am doing is for the best. You have so much to do and learn and I would only burden you. YOU have NEVER been a burden to me Edward as I'm sure my father has probably told you. But Charlie has made me see that I would be ruining your life by keeping you with me. It would be selfish of me to ask you to stay with me when there will be so much for you to see and experience now. This really is what is best for the both of us, please believe me. You have so much ahead of you._

_Edward I will ALWAYS love you but please don't try to find me. I can promise you that you won't…Charlie has made sure of it. If I have one wish for you Edward, it's for you to be happy. You are a phenomenal man and there is so much waiting for you out there. That is why I can't be here holding you back. I love you Edward, so so much and I only hope that you can believe me. I'll always be yours Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Always._

_Love,_

_Your Isabella_

.HELL. She left because she thought that was what was best?! She left him because she thought she would be holding him back? I was confused and I can only imagine how Edward has tortured himself every time he's read this letter. How could she believe this? If anything she would be there to help him right? How was that a burden? I stared at the tear-splattered page for some immeasurable amount of time and jumped when Edward spoke.

"I was a fool…" he whispered. I didn't say anything as he shook his head in his hands, "She left me all the pictures she ever took of the two of us you know? And what did I do? In my foolish rage I threw them all into the fireplace without even looking at them. I was too furious to think rationally and I wasn't thinking and burned my only way to find her."

He let out a hysterical laugh then, "I almost burned the journals and the letters too!"

He started laughing to himself louder. I stood motionless and my heart almost broke when Edward looked up at me. His eyes were red and there were tears trailing down his cheeks.

"I was so stupid Alice. I could have found her. I would have known what she looked like. That son of a bitch Charlie made sure there were no records of her in Forks. What if I've seen her here in the city and I've never known because I burned the pictures? What if-"

"Edward," I cut him off, "don't please. We can work this out okay? We'll talk to Emmett an-"

"NO! I don't want his help."

"Bu-"

"I don't want his help."

For the first time I was actually kind of scared of Edward. His eyes were hard and he stared at me as if daring me to try and change his mind. I sighed in defeat. I wasn't sure what to do about Edward anymore. All I knew was that it felt too suffocating in our store and I wanted to get out of here.

"Edward let's get out of here. I don't feel like being in the store today."

He looked at me doubtfully before he nodded and stood. We packed quietly and closed up the store. It was almost two weeks until Halloween now and the sky was grey and the wind chill. I realized Edward must've taken a cab as we got into my Porsche and I started to make my way back up to the Upper East Side. Edward didn't say much but hummed along quietly to the radio.

"Let's go pick up Jasper and then get coffee or something. Maybe Tasti-D-Lite?" I ventured a timid smile.

"Sure Alice. That sounds nice," was all Edward said as he looked out the window. I sighed and we made it to Jasper's school in no time. I knew Edward hadn't been happy for a while, but I truly was second-guessing myself now. Maybe I didn't know Edward as well as I thought I did. What if everything I thought I knew about him was a lie and he was just pretending to like it and be happy? I sighed again. What were we going to do? Amazingly one of the visitor parking spaces was open in the small lot. It was a little after 3:00 now and pretty much all of the students had cleared out. The halls were quiet and Edward and I didn't even run into anyone as I led the way to Jasper's classroom.

Sure enough my Jazzy was sitting at his desk sorting through drawings with a Halloween theme. His classroom was now decorated for fall, with leaves and various other orange and red hues dancing along the walls. I knew other teachers and parents always complimented his decorating skills, but little did they know his lovely fiancé did it all for him. I couldn't hide my chuckle as Jasper pulled at his tie. He hated wearing them. I giggled and at that Jasper looked up.

"Darlin'! Edward! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?"

I bounced forward as Edward followed a little less enthusiastically. I wrapped my arms around Jasper's waist and was just about to place a kiss on his lips when I heard a little voice and the clanking of toys.

"Who are they?"

I whirled around and saw Edward staring at the back corner where Jasper kept the play area. There sitting in the middle of a mess of toy cars was a little boy. His bronze hair was sticking up in all directions his green eyes shone brightly. I chuckled because the boy's tie was undone and his shirt was sticking out haphazardly from his pants.

"Ah E.J.," Jasper said, "This is my lovely wife-to-be Alice, and this is our friend Edward."

The little boy's eyes went wide and he stared at Edward. Jasper was right. This boy E.J. was practically a splitting image of Edward. Or at least what I imagined Edward looked like as a little boy. Edward must have noticed the boy's staring because he started to shift from foot to foot and run his hand through his hair, something I noticed he did whenever he was nervous.

The little boy stood up and came bounding forward. He stopped in front of Jasper and I and extended his hand to me. I took it softly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Alice."

I smiled at the boy's manners. Jasper was right. He was a little gentleman. He walked over to Edward and Edward smiled down politely at him as the boy extended his hand to him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Sir. I'm E.J.," he all but whispered.

"It's nice to meet you E.J." Edward replied. Bending down lower so he could look E.J. in the eyes, "Mr. Whitlock has told me a lot about you."

E.J.'s eyes lit up and he smiled, "Do you want to play with me til Mommy gets here?"

"Sure," Edward smiled and was instantly pulled by E.J. to the back of the classroom.

I smiled, enjoying seeing a genuine smile on Edward's face for the first time in…well, sadly maybe ever. That made me frown. I watched as the little boy pulled him down and Edward sat facing Jasper and I. I smiled and Edward simply shrugged before E.J. demanded his full attention, handing him a little silver car.

"So that's E.J. huh?" I asked Jazz.

"Yeah. Crazy how much they look a like huh?"

"Yeah…unreal almost."

"E.J.'s all excited today because his mom is actually coming to pick him up. I finally got a hold of her and asked to meet with her in person. Plus he told me his dad emailed them last night to tell him he had a surprise for him."

"He's a cute kid. Such a gentleman too."

"Yeah. You wanna help me darlin'? I gotta hang some decorations outside on the bulletin board."

I giggled, "Your classroom would be so boring without me."

"I know…only one of the many reasons I love you."

Jasper flashed me that smile of his that I can't resist and picked up the decorations on his desk as I grabbed the stapler.

"Hey E.J., Edward," Jasper called, "We're gonna be right outside the door hanging some decorations okay?"

"KAY!" yelled E.J.

I laughed as I proceeded to look at all of the decorations and decide how they would go. Jasper and I talked about his day. I didn't want to bring up Edward until we had some time alone tonight to talk. Just as I finished stapling the last of the decorations I heard,

"Alice Brandon?"

Jasper and I both turned and I could hardly believe my eyes.

"Izzie McCarty?"

Jasper's eyes widened before he spoke, "You're Izzie McCarty? Darlin' she looks exactly like the woman in the painting Edward did."

It was my turn for my eyes to widen. Jasper was right! I don't know how I didn't make that connection in the store! Okay, so maybe I was a little shocked and distracted when she introduced herself as Izzie McCarty.

"Izzie bought that painting," I said, arching one of my brows.

Izzie blushed as she walked timidly forward, "Yes I did. It's beautiful."

"Do you mind me asking what you're doing here?" I asked, curiously.

"Oh, um…I was supposed to meet a Mr. Whitlock to talk about my son."

"That's me," Jasper said, extending his hand, "but my papers say your name is Izzie Cullen?"

Izzie blushed further taking Jasper's hand, "Oh yes…well, McCarty is just my pen name. Helps keep my anonymity."

She offered me a timid smile as if she was embarrassed about that fact. I didn't think I had ever seen someone blush so much in my life. The only other person who almost blushed that much was Edward. I froze. _Edward Cullen_. My mind was reeling. Didn't Izzie just say her actual last name was Cullen? How many Cullens could there really be running around out there? And three of them right here together in Jasper's classroom. I tuned out Jasper and Izzie talking as we started to head back in to the classroom. Izzie could be short for Isabella…Isabella could also be Bella…Cullen…there's no way…

I vaguely heard Jasper mention he had "a good friend with the last name Cullen as well" before I heard Izzie gasp.

I broke out of my thoughts when I clearly heard E.J. talking to Edward.

"You're my daddy aren't you?"

I froze behind Jasper and Izzie. E.J. was sitting in Edward's lap holding what looked to be a very tattered photo. Edward's eyes were wide going back and forth between E.J.'s face and the photo. He kind of looked like a fish the way his mouth opened and then closed without saying a word. Izzie spoke first,

"Edward…"

"MOMMY!" E.J. squealed, bouncing up and down in Edward's lap. I watched as Edward's eyes snapped to Izzie, eyes wide with shock.

"Bella?"

_EPOV (as if I would leave it there…)_

"Hey E.J., Edward," Jasper called, "We're gonna be right outside the door hanging some decorations okay?"

Before I could answer, E.J. yelled, "KAY!"

I chuckled as I sat with E.J. and toyed with the silver car he had given me. Well, it was no Volvo but whatever. I watched as E.J. rolled cars around and made engine noises.

"So do you like cars E.J.?" I asked. I had no real experience around children, and truth be told I wasn't too fond of them. I had once cherished the thought of being a father and making babies with Bella, but that thought left yet another gaping hole in my heart and I pushed all thoughts of ever having children from my mind. Though I was finding some comfort sitting here with E.J.

"Yeah…they're my favorite. I like how fast they go."

I just chuckled and continued to watch the kid toy around with his cars. Jasper was right. He did have the same color hair as me, and the poor boy was also unfortunately blessed with the same untamable strands. I broke out of my musings when E.J. spoke again.

"Your name is Edward right?"

The little boy was looking up at me, with wide green eyes. I simply nodded.

"That's my name too. The 'J' stands for 'James'. That was my uncle's name, and 'E' is for Edward. After my daddy."

He whispered the last past so quietly I barely heard him. I just nodded as I tried to recall Jasper's words correctly. If I wasn't mistaken, Jasper told me E.J.'s last name was Cullen. That would make him…Edward Cullen? Named after his…daddy? What the hell were the odds of that? Not that I ever Googled myself, but Edward Cullen couldn't be a very common name. I didn't even notice that E.J. had gone to his backpack was coming back with a piece of paper in his hands. I tried not to jump as the little boy climbed into my lap and sat there looking down.

"My daddy is an artist. He lives in Paris and works at the Louvre," he whispered, "He emailed mommy and I last night and said he had a surprise for us."

I watched as E.J. flipped over the piece of paper in his hands and it turned out to be a picture. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at it. It was a young couple, the picture taken by the girl as she held the camera out in front of them. Her face was partially blocked by the boy as she was kissing him behind the ear. Her long mahogany hair tumbled around her shoulders. The boy was smiling and laughing, his bronze locks sticking up haphazardly in all directions. Black wayfarer sunglasses covered his eyes.

"This is the only picture mommy would let me have of her and daddy."

My eyes were wide and I was desperately trying to suck in air but it caught in my throat. There was no mistaking the fact that it was me in that picture. There was no way…

"You're my daddy aren't you?"

My eyes went frantically back and forth between the picture in the boy's hands and his face. He had the same unruly hair as me and even the same color eyes though now they appeared to be turning darker and almost brown. I had to say something. Every second that passed, more tears looked as though they threatened to spill over onto his cheeks. I had to say something to this child but I had no idea what to say. If this picture was correct and he was telling the truth, this boy…he was my son…and Bella was his mom…

"Edward…"

"MOMMY!" E.J. squealed, excitedly bouncing up and down in my lap. My brain was so confused it took a split second to process what he had yelled.

My eyes snapped to the sound of the voice I had dreamed of every night for the past 6 years. I couldn't speak. There stood the woman from Izzie McCarty's party. She looked different from the girl in E.J.'s picture, more womanly and voluptuous, definitely older, but it was her. I couldn't breathe. Alice and Jasper looked on in confusion.

"Bella?" I barely choked out.

"Mommy was this daddy's surprise?" E.J. shouted, bouncing around in my lap.

I saw Alice and Jasper's eyebrows both shoot up and their mouths hang open in shock.

"Edward…" she breathed out again.

Suddenly Bella's eyes rolled back and she collapsed. Fortunately Jasper caught her before she hit the ground.

"MOMMY!" E.J. screamed, "DADDY! WHAT HAPPENED TO MOMMY??"

I snapped out of my daze as I looked at E.J., tears spilling down his cheeks. The air returned to my lungs and I sought the quickest way to calm poor E.J. I quickly stood and held the boy to me as I rushed to the front of the classroom. I was too dazed to fully process what was going on. E.J. was sobbing into my neck as I tried to calm him. There was too much going on. I could feel the panic building.

"She's fainted," Jasper said as he lay her gently on one of the long desks in the front of the room.

"Mommy!" E.J. cried harder as he clutched to my shirt. I held the boy tightly, still in a daze. It was my Bella lying here. And the boy in my arms, good lord, he was my son. I had a son. I couldn't believe it. I had to hear it from Bella.

"Daddy?" Alice whispered, as Jasper called the health office.

I nodded, slowly pulling E.J. away from me, "E.J., may I show Miss Alice your picture?"

E.J. nodded and sniffled holding his photo out for Alice. As soon as she took it he buried his face back into my neck, crying.

I watched as Alice's eyes went wide and they darted back and forth between my face and the picture.

"This…this is you," she whispered.

All I could do was nod as I tried to calm the crying boy in my arms.

"And that," Alice said, pointing at Bella, "That's Bella?"

I nodded as Jasper came back to join us.

"Jasper, look at this," Alice said as she held the picture out for Jasper to see.

"Is this…" he started.

"That's my mommy and daddy," E.J. whimpered, "This is my daddy Mr. Whitlock. What's wrong with my mommy?"

Jasper was about to answer before we all heard a groan. We all turned and saw Bella slowly sitting up. I knew my grip was growing tighter on E.J. as I desperately tried to start calming myself down.

"MOMMY! DADDY! DADDY!" E.J. tugged on my shirt and motioned for me to move closer to the table.

"Edward?" Bella whispered.

I swallowed heavily, "Bella…is it really you?"

Her eyes slowly met mine and I found myself drowning in the deep chocolate pools. Her face was flushed and her beauty captivated me. I was completely in a daze and almost forgot about everyone else in the room. This was my Bella. She was more beautiful than I ever could've imagined. She nodded before she spoke.

"Oh Edward…" Bella said before she started to cry.

"Mommy! Don't be sad! This is daddy's surprise! He finally came to see us!"

Bella's eyes met mine as she smiled softly for E.J., "I'm just…I'm just so happy to see your daddy."

"Daddy, put me down please?" E.J. asked.

I did as he said, glad to put him down for fear I might crush him as my panic began to grow even more. I had a son. This was my Bella. He ran to Jasper. "Mr. Whitlock! It's my daddy! He's really here!"

Alice was still frozen as she looked between Bella and I.

"Um, yes, E.J…he is here. What a surprise…" Jasper said as he looked at me. I could tell he was trying to keep the room calm. Despite it all, I felt myself crumbling.

Alice cleared her throat then, "E.J. why don't you, Mr. Whitlock, and I go find some water for your mommy? She must be feeling a little light headed still."

"Will the water make her feel better?" E.J. said as he looked up at Alice in wonder as she nodded.

"Okay! Mommy! Daddy! We'll be right back and then you'll be all better!"

"Okay baby," Bella said softly. I didn't let my eyes leave Bella's face as I took her in for the first time. The woman from the party was my Bella. My mind was swimming with so many questions and emotions that I didn't know what to say as E.J. pulled Alice by the hand out of the classroom, followed by Jasper. My heart felt like it was shattering, though from what emotion, I couldn't be sure. I felt my lungs start to heave for air and I blurted out the only question I could think of.

"Is he really my son?"

"Yes Edward…he's yours."

**Well, there you have it. Yes? No? Bella has finally made her official grand entrance. Sorry for the cliffy there. I'll try be quick about the next one, but work starts up for me again on Monday, so...I will unfortunately be writing about more serious real life things. :- ( **

**Patience, everything will get sorted out and explained as it should. Did we like Alice's POV? And what do you guys think about me re-writing the first few chapters? I'm not terribly pleased with them.**

**Okay, and I know in my profile I said I would never write a story dealing with psychologists/counselors and what not, but I think I've changed my mind. I think it'll be an original idea and yeah…when I get this story finished, I'll ponder it some more. **

**So…next up, Edward's got some fighting words for **_**someone**_** and Alice gets her say again. I realize now that this next chapter might take some research on my part. I think I'll have to dive into my books for my classes. Bare with me though. Please. :- )**

**So, again, thanks for reading. Just seeing that people are reading make me smile. Review if you can. Pretty please? :-P **


	9. Chapter 8: Don't Lie

**Disclaimer: Yup…still not mine…**

**A/N: I'm thinking you guys are wondering what exactly happened to Edward in those two weeks after he returned from Forks. I promise we'll cover "dark times round 2" in the next chapter. The last chapter kind of just took on a mind of it's own and demanded Bella make her grand entrance. :-P **

**I had a bit of rough times with this chapter. Not to mention work started (ugh), and it was my friend's birthday this weekend (more ugh…I can't even tell you how much beer, sake bombs, and tequila was involved), so yeah…thank you for being patient. And for still reading. Awesome and MANY thanks just for reading. Seeing that always makes me smile. :- )**

**Homebody- thanks for sticking with me. I hope this is to your liking**

**Lissa10590- Why hello. :- ) I'm glad you're liking the story too. Thanks for reviewing.**

**And ajenc, I hope I haven't lost you. Your input always gives me so much to think about. I hope all is well with you.**

**Right…so, the song, I don't know why, but I felt like it fit. **

_**Hey, baby my nose is getting big**_

_**I noticed it be growing when I been telling them fibs**_

_**Now you say your trust's getting weaker**_

_**Probably cuz my lies just started getting deeper**_

_**And the reason for my confession is that I learned my lesson**_

_**And I really think you have to know the truth**_

_**Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more**_

_**But after I did it I don't know what I did it for**_

_**I admit that I have been a little immature**_

_**Fucking with your heart like I was the predator**_

_**In my book of lies I was the editor**_

_**And the author**_

_**I forged my signature**_

_**And now I apologize for what I did to you**_

_**Cuz what you did to me I did to you**_

_**No, no, no, no, baby**_

_**No, no, no, don't lie**_

_**-Black Eyed Peas, "Don't Lie"**_

Chapter 8: Don't Lie

"_Yes Edward…he's yours."_

_He's yours. He's yours. He's yours._

I have no idea how long we were standing there in silence. Well, perhaps not silence, more like not speaking. It was anything but silent as Bella's last words echoed in my mind. _He's yours. _There was a war raging in my head. I didn't know what I was feeling and was almost numb to the world around me. All that I could really comprehend was Bella's words: _He's yours._

I snapped out of my daze I saw Bella move. Bella looked down and her hands were twitching and nervously pulling at each other. Her tear stained face was still the most beautiful face I had ever seen in the last six years. Though she was just in jeans and a black sweater, I was totally taken by her beauty. She always told me she hated wearing make-up and it looked like things in that department still hadn't changed. While I took in her appearance her last words still were echoing in my head: _"he's yours."_

"Edward," she finally whimpered, "please say something."

I had a son. E.J. was my son…my 5 year old son. My son who had been living in the same city as me all this time.

"Why?" was all I could manage to choke out. I could feel my brows furrow as I looked at Bella, willing her to look up and answer me. I prayed that my heart and mind could keep themselves together.

She sniffled and looked up, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Edward…"

"Why Bella?" I asked again, louder this time.

"Edward…I thought it was for the best…" she whispered, sounding so fragile.

I literally felt like something physically snapped in me.

"FOR THE BEST?!" I yelled. Bella flinched and looked down again, but that didn't stop me, "You left me because you thought it was for the best?! You hid OUR son from me Bella!"

"I couldn't do it Edward!" she pleaded with me, looking up, emotions I couldn't place swimming in her eyes, "I couldn't take your life away from you! If I had stayed, it would've ruined everything! You just had the surgery and there was so much ahead of you. I couldn't burden you with a child also."

"So you just left? You didn't even let me have a say in the matter?! Don't tell me for one second that anything you wrote in that letter is what you honestly believed!" I was still shouting and pulled at my hair in frustration.

Bella looked shocked for a second before I saw what was clearly anger cross her face as she stood up and started to shout back at me.

"Edward, I know you! You would've dropped everything during your recovery to cater to everything I needed during the pregnancy. Look at everything you've achieved Edward! You wouldn't be here and a successful artist if I had stayed! You would've resented me for holding you back!"

The panic was breaking through and I could feel the control slipping away completely.

"This means nothing without you! Everything I've achieved in this life means nothing without you to share it with!"

I was breathing hard now and started pacing, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

"Edward…you don't mean that…" Bella whispered. I still couldn't read what emotions were laced in her voice.

"Of course I mean that!" I snapped, "You were my everything Bella! My life! I love you and you left me when I needed you more than anything!"

Bella was frozen in her spot staring at me. What did I say? Crap…I just said I love her. That realization caused my breathing to pick up even more.

"Edward, I'm sorry…"

"SORRY!?" I bellowed, "Why didn't you come find me? I saw you at Izzie McCarty's party! You looked straight at me! I saw you outside of my stor-"

It was like a light bulb went on in my head.

"Bella…are you Izzie McCarty?"

She looked down and nodded slowly, the most attractive blush I've ever seen on a human gracing her cheeks. I shook my head. Now was not the time for those thoughts. Things started falling into place in my mind. Her book Love Story was basically the fairytale version of the life Bella and I could've had. Her anonymity…no pictures, no videos, no interviews…

"So all the mystery and hiding who you are…it was so I couldn't find you," I choked out.

"Edward no! You know I hate attention like that!" Bella shouted, her eyes wide, "Plus I left you all the pictures! I…I…I secretly hoped someday…that someday you'd find me."

It was barely above a whisper and I instantly felt the guilt hit me. In my foolish anger I had burned those pictures, but it didn't excuse why she never came back for me. She could've easily come back to Forks. She knew I had to have remained there, especially after the surgery.

"Why didn't you just come back to Forks? You knew I was there."

"Edward, I couldn't…my Dad…I just…I was too scared."

"But you saw me at the party and were outside my store. Why didn't you talk to me then?"

Bella looked down and kicked her shoe against the floor.

"Answer me Bella!" I yelled. I could tell the panic was starting to play on my anger and my control was slipping into nothing.

"I couldn't Edward! I thought you knew it was me! You have the pictures! You looked away. I figured you didn't want me anymore! I couldn't talk to you at the store knowing that you didn't want me anymore! Plus I saw you with Alice! It was clear that you didn't want me and I couldn't do that to E.J.!"

"ALICE?!" I shouted, even more confused now, "she's Jasper's fiancé and co-owner of the store! As for E.J., he gets letters from his 'daddy' Bella! How do you explain that? His dad, the artist in Paris?"

"He started asking me when he was in pre-school. Emmett had to go and open his big mouth and say, 'Yeah Bella, where is his dad?' He tried to persuade me more than once to tell you, to go back to you. I even made it to your store one day, but then I saw you walking down the street arm in arm with Alice, and I…I just assumed…."

She sniffled and didn't finish her words. I stood motionless and now surprised. She had tried to come to see me?

"I just couldn't…especially after I saw the two of you and how well your business was doing. I didn't want to hurt E.J. What was I going to tell him when you decided that you didn't want us?"

I was shocked. She thought I wouldn't want them? That I didn't want them?

"You think that I don't want you?" I growled.

"It's not just me anymore Edward…" Bella whispered.

"You think that I wouldn't want my own SON?! He's my son Bella! How could you keep him from me! 6 years and I've never known! How could you keep this from me?! You just decide it's better to make up a father in Paris when I've been here all along!"

"Do you think I'm not tormented by my decisions every day?!" She screamed at me, "I have a permanent miniature version of you running around me all the time!"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Bella hesitated.

"You were never going to tell me were you? You were never going to tell me that I had a son?!"

My breaths were ragged and I was gasping for air and control, but it was useless.

"Edward…I know you I-"

"Clearly you don't know me at all!" I yelled.

"What would you have done Edward? It would've ruined everything you've worked for!"

"NO!" I roared, slamming my fist on a table, but before I could finish, we were interrupted.

"Daddy, are you mad?"

_APOV_

"Daddy, are you mad?"

We were walking back with a bottle of water from down the hall when we heard the shouting and yelling. Neither Jasper nor myself was quick enough to grab E.J. as he took off towards the classroom. We had both tumbled into the classroom in time to hear E.J.'s heartbreaking question. He had tears streaming down his cheek and his bottom lip pulled tightly between his teeth. Bella and Edward were standing a few feet apart from each other, both breathing heavily. Both of them were staring down at E.J. in shock.

"Um…sorry, we heard…and um…he…just took off…" Jasper stuttered.

I saw Edward grip his hair tightly in his right hand, "I can't…I can't stay here…"

"DADDY I'M SORRY!"

Again, none of us were quick enough to stop E.J. He flung himself at Edward's legs and quickly latched on to one.

"I'm sorry daddy! I ruined your surprise didn't? I'm sorry!" he wailed.

You'd have to be, for lack of better wordage, blind to not be able to see the panic clearly taking over Edward's entire person. He was struggling to remove E.J. and not hurt him while repeatedly saying, "it's okay, it's okay." Bella was completely frozen in shock and didn't snap to until Jasper stepped in to try and calm E.J.

"E.J., baby…" Bella tried.

"NO! Daddy!"

"I'm sorry," Edward choked out, "I need to go."

"NO! DADDY DON'T LEAVE!"

"E.J., I'm sorry…" Edward's voice sounded so broken. He successfully pried the little guy off his leg, but E.J. only threw himself down on the floor.

"NO! NO! NO! DADDY PLEASE!"

I was completely frozen. I didn't know what to do. There was so much pain and hurt around us that it was hurting me to see.

"DADDY PLEASE! I'M SORRY!" E.J. fought heavily against the embrace of his mother and Jazzy trying to calm him down.

Edward froze, his hand hanging in the air above the doorknob.

"I'm sorry E.J. Your mother and I…we…we need to…to work some things out."

"Daddy please don't go! Mommy, do something!" he wailed.

"I love you son," Edward choked out. And with that he took off out the door.

E.J. yelled as he fought the embrace of his mother. I was frozen. My heart wanted to break as I heard little E.J.'s pleas with Edward. Edward looked so broken when he turned around at the door and spoke softly to E.J. If the pain in my chest hurt me so much right at this moment, I couldn't even begin to imagine how much Edward was hurting.

"DADDY! DADDY!" E.J. wailed as Bella unsuccessfully tried to calm him down. Jasper was in teacher mode and he knelt down and tried his best to help Bella calm E.J.'s cries. I suddenly snapped to attention. This was going to destroy Edward. He was almost catatonic when he found out that Bella just lived in this city. What would he do now after seeing her AND learning he has a son?

"I need to get to Edward!" I shouted, quickly moving to grab my purse. Jasper nodded as he tried to help Bella. I knew he would understand.

Quickly I jumped into my Porsche and started my way back towards our apartment buildings. Edward didn't have too much of a head start on me, but I was cursing the traffic gods as I hit some backup right outside the school. Had I not been in four-inch heels and I didn't absolutely detest all forms of exercise, I might've just run to Edward's apartment. It took me 45 minutes just to go the couple of lousy blocks back to my building. I parked and jumped out of my car and walked so fast over to Edward's building that it might've looked like I was running.

Thankfully I still had the key and I knocked loudly. When there was no answer I let myself in. I breathed a sigh of relief when it at least looked like Edward didn't take any rage out on his living room at. I peeked into his studio and noticed it too was untouched. I sighed and made my way to the bedroom. I knocked and again there was no answer. I opened the door slowly, so scared of the state that I was going to find him in. My heart was thundering in my chest. He wouldn't try to harm himself right? Good lord I hope not…

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw him curled up on his bed. I said his name quietly, but I got no response. As I got closer I realized that while tears had dried on his face, he was sleeping. He looked so peaceful as he lay there. I debated about whether or not I should hang around until he woke up, but I decided to let him be. I had a feeling that now that he knew, and E.J. had met his father, that Edward wouldn't do anything drastic. No matter what, he already cared about this boy. Plus I wanted to talk to Jasper and see if he was able to talk to Bella at all.

By the time Jasper came home I had worked myself up into quite the angry state. I couldn't believe that Bella thought a man like Edward wouldn't want his own child. I couldn't believe that she would keep something like this from him either. True it might have altered his plans, but if I knew Edward like I think I do, it only would've altered his plans for the better. He would've been a great father. I guess the only good thing that could come out of this was hopefully he would get the chance.

I was quickly on my feet when I heard Jasper's keys in the door. When Jasper opened the door I immediately jumped in front of him.

"What happened after I left?"

"Hello to you too Darlin'" Jasper chuckled.

"Don't you 'Darlin' me. What happened with Bella?"

Jasper sighed and placed his bag and keys down before going to collapse on the couch in the living room. I quickly sat next to him and curled my legs up under me. He ran his hands through his hair before he started.

"Well…it took a while but we eventually calmed E.J. down enough to stop screaming. He cried and didn't say anything else as I talked to Bella. The school nurse came in to check on Bella too. She apparently just fainted from the shock."

I nodded as I took all this in. Really I just wanted more information about this whole Bella/Edward situation.

"Did you ask her about Edward? Did you ask what she's going to do now? What about E.J. and-"

"Darlin'! Just hold your horses, I'm getting there."

I smiled a little sheepishly as I gestured with my hand for him to continue.

"After the nurse left, Bella asked E.J. to play in the back so she could talk to me. She asked if I've been friends with Edward for a long time and if you were really my fiancé. I asked her why that mattered and then she confessed that she had tried once before to come see Edward at the store, but she saw him walking arm in arm with you down the street and she figured that you were his girlfriend or something. She said she thought he looked happy so she couldn't bring herself to approach him and ruin his happiness."

"She thought Edward and I were dating?! Ewww…"

"Darlin'…" Jasper said as he looked at me seriously.

"Oh right, sorry. Focusing."

Jasper chuckled before he continued, "I asked her if she was at her party that we all went to and she nodded. So I asked her if she had seen him at the party, and she told me she had. Of course that led to my question of why she didn't talk to him then, and she told me that he had pictures of her. She figured he knew what she looked like, and when he looked away she thought he didn't want her anymore and he hated her."

"Wait…pictures?" I asked, and not a split second later the memory came back to me, "Pictures! Edward told me about those! He said he burned them!"

Jasper looked at me wide eyed as I continued, "Edward was so angry over Bella leaving he didn't even look at the pictures. In his rage he threw them in the fireplace. He never knew what Bella looked like."

"Oh lord…" Jasper groaned as he leaned his head back to rest on the couch.

"What did she say she's going to do?" I whispered.

"She's not sure," he sighed, "now that E.J. knows and met Edward, she's worried about how this is going to affect him if Edward wants nothing to do with them."

"But Edward would never do that!" I cried.

"Darlin', I know Edward is our friend, but we don't really know how this is going to affect him."

I sighed and nodded. Jasper had me there, but I still held on to some small hope that maybe I knew Edward like I thought I did, and that he would never abandon his son, even if he couldn't forgive Bella.

"I guess we'll just have to keep a close eye on him," I sighed. I did not want a repeat of the two weeks prior to this one. Jasper and I sat in silence for a while longer, both lost in our own thoughts.

"Do you want me to make something for dinner Darlin'? I'll heat up the leftovers."

I smiled, "Anything that's microwavable huh?"

Jasper leaned over and kissed me softly, "No one microwaves better than me."

We both laughed at that and Jasper stood before offering me his hand to stand up. I took it but quickly jumped on his back, making him piggyback me into the kitchen. At least for a brief moment it seemed like there was nothing wrong in the world as Jasper carried me and bounced me around, both of us laughing like a couple of carefree kids.

As he carried me though, a thought popped into my head. I needed to talk to Bella. She needed to know the man that Edward has become. The man that he has been since she left him. She was what was keeping him alive all these years. She needed to know what had been happening to him. I know he thought he had us all fooled, but I knew better. As Jasper set me down, I internally groaned in my head. Edward, Bella, and E.J. weren't the only problems. I wasn't speaking to Emmett and Rosalie despite them calling all day today. I am more than a little certain Emmett is going to hear about what happened at the school today.

I started making a plan. I would need to talk to Angela about this. I sighed, I had a lot of work to do and damn it I was going to fix this. Yes, I am extremely angry with Bella for doing all this to Edward (I would have to cage the rage before I face her), but now that they had found each other again, didn't they deserve the happy ending that Bella gave Robert and Kristen in Love Story? And E.J., oh E.J., he definitely deserved both his parents. I couldn't handle the thought that this poor sweet little boy might be caught in something nasty. He's not even related to me and the sounds of his screams for his father were haunting me. I had a feeling if I could get Angela in on this, that would get the ball rolling on this plan and it would all work out. Looks like the store will be closed for a week or two. This is so much more important. A new moon rising indeed.

**Well? Yes? No? I'm sorry, but I couldn't just have Bella and Edward get reunited and be all happy right away. It seemed too quick for me in ****New Moon**** how quickly Bella and Edward were back together (not that I'm complaining cuz they always belong together damn it!) but yeah. Edward's got a lot to work through. I'm sensing a "dark times round 3" coming up.**

**Let me know what you think. I tried to make Edward's confusion with everything and being overwhelmed come through. I don't know that I was successful. :-\ **

**I saw "The Proposal" this weekend too and it had the "New Moon" trailer at the beginning. Holy crap it's even BETTER on the big screen. Can November get here quicker please? **

**So…up next, what happened to Edward during the "dark times rounds 2 & 3", Alice is on a mission, and everyone's favorite big teddy bear offers up some valuable information…why yes, I believe his name is Emmett. :-P **

**So again, thank you just for reading. I hope this chapter was satisfactory. And for your reviews, I can't thank you guys enough. You rock! Review if you can. Pretty please? :- ) **


	10. Chapter 9: Broken

**Disclaimer: Not mine…how I wish I was that creative…**

**A/N: Okay…I wrote most of this chapter while watching "National Treasure 2", "Bolt", a couple of episodes of "Gilmore Girls" & "Supernatural" (Jared Padalecki = YUMMY), two games of the Seattle Mariners vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers, and had an idea hit me while I was watching "Transformers 2". None of that really affected my writing (I think) but wow…I had a clearly productive past couple of days. :-P **

**And unrelated, but I can't believe Michael Jackson died! That made me a sad panda. :- (**

**Anyways, I hope this chapter is to your liking. It's a freaking monster in terms of length and information. I just couldn't cut it up. Valuable information getting thrown around here.**

**xXiStillLoveHimXx: Welcome aboard! Your review made me do a little happy dance and I feel very undeserving of your flattery. I hope this is to your liking! Thank you!**

**And ajenc, I'm so relieved to have you back! Thank you for your always wonderful input. I swear, you're pretty much my beta for this thing. I hope Edward seems a little more of a man for you. :- )**

**Everyone else, I hope you're still with me, and thank you just for reading. It makes me smile. :- ) Okie dokie…game on! (Wayne's World anyone? :-P) **

_**The broken clock is a comfort**_

_**It helps me sleep tonight**_

_**Maybe it can't stop tomorrow**_

_**From stealing all my time**_

_**And I am here still waiting**_

_**Well I still have my doubts**_

_**I am damaged at best**_

_**Like you've already figured out **_

_**I'm falling apart **_

_**I'm barely breathing**_

_**With a broken heart**_

_**That's still beating**_

_**In the pain**_

_**There is healing**_

_**And at night**_

_**I found meaning**_

_**I'm holding on…**_

_**I'm barely holding on to you…**_

_**-Lifehouse, "Broken"**_

Chapter 9: Broken

Sunlight completely blinded me when I tried to open my eyes. Good lord why didn't I close the window shades like I normally did? What the hell was I doing yest-

My head throbbed and my chest felt like it was hit with a freight train. Words came rushing back to me in an instant:

"_You're my daddy aren't you?"_

"_Mommy! Was this daddy's surprise?"_

"_Edward…"_

"_Yes Edward…he's yours."_

"_DADDY PLEASE! I'M SORRY!"_

"_DADDY!"_

"No…" I choked out. I could feel the tears streaming down my face suddenly. It was all true. Yesterday I had seen Bella…I had seen Bella and found out that I had a son. I had a son. A son. I yelled out again as I slammed my first into the wall next to my bed. I had a son that Bella had kept from me.

She thought she was doing what was best for me by leaving. I sat there mulling over and over again the facts. Especially the fact that Bella thought that I wouldn't want them. I have always wanted Bella and now, knowing that she gave birth to our son and has been raising him alone all this time…I wanted more than anything to be with them. But could I forgive her? I thought she knew me…that I could never NOT want them. Especially her, the love of my life, and my own son. I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to the past.

_Flashback_

"_Bella!" I hissed, "Sit still woman!"_

_Her beautiful laugh filled the air. I was a little less than amused. Not even an hour of not being virgins and she had turned into some sort of…vixen. We sat in the tub, soaking in the rather heavenly warm water. After much harassment from me, Bella admitted that she was a little sore and that a warm bath might be a good idea. The smug high I was feeling after getting her to agree was quickly shot down when she slapped me in the chest._

_And she wasn't done with getting back at me yet it seems. We sat in the tub, her between my stretched out legs, her full backside pressed into me. I had to keep from groaning constantly. I was getting hard again and all her shifting of her body as she tried to "get comfortable" was making my problem a billion times worse._

"_Relax Edward," Bella said, "it stings and I'm a little uncomfortable."_

_I would've felt bad…except I heard that tone of hers. That teasing one when she's trying to play innocent with me._

"_I'm sorry love," I said apologetically, knowing she couldn't resist my sad face._

"_Edward please…there's nothing to be sorry for. That's how nature works," her tone no longer teasing. _

_Oh how quickly I could turn things around my little vixen in training. Two can very much play at this game._

"_I'm sorry that you're the only one who felt any pain from all of this. It's not fair."_

_Bella sighed, "You're so silly sometimes Edward. I'll be fine and the pain really wasn't that bad. Giving birth on the other hand, that would be terrible…"_

_And how quickly a conversation could do a 180 and go in a whole new direction. Anyone listening to our conversation would've been immediately able to tell that Bella's voice was full of apprehension just from the way she awkwardly trailed off after mentioning having a baby. It was definitely one of those awkward moments. I wasn't quite sure what to say. We had already talked about marriage, and we agreed that we would be married when we were both 20. For some reason that seemed like a good age to the both of us. I guess I was silent for too long because I heard a soft sniffle._

"_Edward, please say something. What are you thinking about?"_

_My hands had been resting softly on her outstretched legs. I let my right hand start small slow circles as I dragged my hand higher towards her belly. I let my hand circle around the soft skin around her navel. I heard Bella sigh and also let out a mix of a moan and a whimper. I let my nose nuzzle the back of her head before dragging it forward so that I could whisper directly in her ear. I was nervous to hear her response after what she just said, but I couldn't deny my thoughts._

"_I was thinking," I whispered, nipping at her earlobe, earning myself another quiet moan, "that someday I can't wait to see your belly swollen with our children."_

_I heard Bella's breathing hitch as I let my head rest against hers. I only hoped that she wasn't put off by what I just said. She remained silent for a few more seconds, her breathing completely stopped and her body frozen._

"_Breath love," I whispered again._

"_Do you mean it Edward?" she said so softly I almost missed it._

"_Do I mean what love?" I whispered back. Bella shifted her body and I leaned back assuming that she was turning to face me. Her small hand gently cupped my cheek as she spoke._

"_That you want to have a baby with me. Do you mean it?"_

_I turned my lips into her palm and placed a kiss there. "Bella my love, in two months time I'll be able to see. It will open up a whole new world for me. New experiences, new possibilities…it's endless. But Bella, this I know, I know that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life waking up and seeing you sleeping in my arms, our child growing inside you, your beautiful face absolutely glowing."_

_Bella sniffled and I felt her lips softly press against mine before she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to mine._

"_I want that too Edward," she said softly._

"_I want so much Bella," I started off honestly, "I want to see you, wake up to you every day. I want to see you walking down the aisle towards me in a gorgeous white dress. I want to see your belly swollen with our child. I want to run around in the backyard with our kids and the dog while you watch from the porch. I want it all Bella, and I want it all with you by my side."_

"_Oh Edward," Bella sniffled, "I want all that too. More than you know. I just…I just feel like…like this is all too good to be true. I feel like something is going to go wrong and…and take you away from me." _

_I slid my hands up her arms and to her cheeks, "Bella love, my dad has checked over this procedure thousands of times. He knows the doctor very well and is very confident in this. There's an 87 % success rate Bella. Nothing is going to happen to me."_

_She sniffled again, her hands curling into my hair, "How can you be so sure Edward?"_

_I smiled and pulled her face slowly to mine so she would know what I wanted. I pressed my lips firmly to hers, hopefully conveying all the love I felt for her._

"_I'm sure Bella, because I love you. You said it yourself, 'we belong together'." _

"_I love you Edward."_

"_I love you my Bella."_

_End flashback_

I still hadn't moved off my bed and when I glanced back at the clock it now said 12:37pm. I've been sitting here for over two hours. Before that memory meant much less to me than it did now. Yesterday I had met my son. I've missed out on five years of his life. Five years of watching him grow up. This memory just added more to my confusion and uncertainty. Bella had known I dreamed of having a child with her. Why would she think leaving me and going through this without me was the best decision? I shook my head, which was stupid considering the headache my thoughts were giving me. I groaned and decided to sit up.

I made my way over to my bathroom and decided to shower and not completely abandon all forms of hygiene like I had two weeks ago. As I showered a thought occurred to me. Bella and I only slept together three times: our first time after prom, once on my birthday, and again on July 4th before the surgery. She had told me she was on the pill…she wouldn't lie about that. So when did it happen? I'm going to guess either Prom or my birthday. I shook my head. There was so much to take in and think about now and it was giving me a serious headache. As I let the warm spray of the shower hit my naked body, I couldn't help but be drawn back into the "dark times" that had followed me back from Forks.

Two weeks. My cell phone, house phone, and email boxes were flooded with messages. Two weeks I ignored the world. Two weeks I let my parents panic over whether or not I was dead in my apartment. Two weeks I let Alice bang on my door. Two weeks of not answering any communication device. Two weeks I slept all day and night. Two weeks I barely ate a thing or drank anything. Two weeks I didn't shave or bathe. Two weeks I let my world fall apart. For two weeks, I killed myself repeatedly with one thought: All this time, Bella was right here in New York City.

The pain in my chest increased now as I thought of what I had learned in addition to knowing that Bella lived here in the city. I had seen Bella. She was the woman from the party. She was Izzie McCarty. I had a son. A son that Bella kept from me. The pain in my head throbbed and I didn't know what to feel or think. I was mad, I was shocked, I was in pain, but underneath it all, I was still so in love with Bella Swan. I let out an animalistic scream as I let my fist pound on the tile wall. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

_APOV_

So maybe I shouldn't have kept Edward's key to his apartment, but I would be damned if I let him go all Grizzly Adams again and abandon hygiene like it was the plague. Nor would I let him not eat like he had an eating disorder. Bella sure did a number on him. I was having a hard time even trying to understand what Edward was feeling or what Bella was even thinking when she left him all those years ago. Any time last night that I even tried to put myself in one of their places, I ended up giving myself a major headache. Jasper didn't say much, but I know he knew what I was thinking about. I know he was planning work for his class with a Halloween theme, but I also know he was thinking the same thoughts as me. What the hell was going to happen now?

I figured Edward wasn't coming into the store. You didn't have to be a psychic to know that going into the store was the furthest thing from his mind right now. I was more than positive our clientele would survive if we were closed for a week or two. As I walked down the hallway to his apartment, I wondered if E.J. was in class today and how he was taking things. I'd ask Jasper later, but knowing my Jazzy, he would try to make sure that E.J. was more than feeling okay. After growing up watching my parents fight and cheat on each other for so many years, one would think I had little faith in marriage and relationships. Truth be told, it actually made me a stronger believer in relationships. My parents weren't meant to be together. It was out of convenience because their families thought it was a good match. I am more than a little sure that my parents didn't even like each other before they were married. I shook my head at their families' dated ideals. I truly believed that my dad had found his soul mate in Charlotte. She was a sweet woman. Same with my mother. Benjamin was a good man. While I didn't really speak to either of my parents anymore, I at least knew they were happy. While they didn't belong together, they were with the one they belonged with now. I am a strong believer in the fact that everyone has that one person they are meant to be with. I could only hope E.J. might take things as positively as I did. Of course, I was twice his age at the time.

I sighed as I placed the bags full or groceries I bought for Edward on the floor so I could fish out the keys. I knocked once, wanting to be polite, but knowing he wouldn't answer. We never even talked about the state in which I found him in a couple of days ago. Good lord, was it really only a couple of days ago? I sighed, and then took a deep breath, praying that in the time between when I left last night and now, Edward hadn't decided to hang himself or completely destroy every possession he owned.

When I pushed open the door, everything in the living room was exactly where it had been. Nothing was thrown around and his apartment was in it's "Alice approved" neat organization. I let out the breath I was holding and called out his name once. I got no answer but I could faintly hear the shower running.

"Thank the lord." I muttered to myself as I brought in all the groceries. I don't think I could take it again if he didn't shower or shave for two weeks. I had taken to getting Edward a bunch of fresh fruit and vegetables as well as some other necessities. Last night when I looked, all the man had in his damn fridge was butter and some bottled water. Even the shelves in his pantry bore a solitary box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. Last night I had groaned. What kind of life has Edward Cullen been living all this time? I doubted the lack of sustenance in his kitchen was THAT much of a recent occurrence.

Just as I was getting ready to put away the casserole and spaghetti & meatballs I made for Edward last night, I heard his rather confused voice from down the hall.

"Alice?"

I went and popped my head around the wall so I could see him, slapping on the most convincing smile I could at the moment.

"Edward! How are you feeling? Are you hungry?"

His frame was drowning in the t-shirt and basketball pants he had on. He blushed a little and looked sheepish as he walked slowly into the kitchen running his hands through his hair.

"Fine. I guess I'm sort of hungry."

"Well good!" I chirped. Edward Cullen was not the only one capable of putting on a "happy face" for others.

"I've made and bought you enough food to last you at least a week. You do know there was nothing in your fridge except butter and some bottles of water?"

I watched as Edward blushed even more and looked at the floor, kicking his foot against the ground. He slowly started walking forward and I froze when he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. Edward NEVER initiated physical contact between himself and anyone. It took me a split second to respond and throw my arms around his waist.

"Thank you Alice," he whispered.

"You're very welcome Edward," I whispered back, holding back the tears I felt at the moment. I knew showing this physical appreciation was a very big step for him. I pulled away and smiled before returning to sorting through all of the food. I saw him frozen in the spot that I left him. I was just about to open my mouth when he spoke.

"Alice, this isn't all for me is it?" His voice was full of disbelief and he had at least cracked a small smile when he said it.

I smiled and glared at him, "Edward Cullen, you've gotten so skinny that my clothes aren't fitting you right anymore! You need to bulk back up so my designs look how they're supposed to!"

At least we were almost back to our comfortable joking banter. I watched as he rolled his eyes and leaned heavily against the island table in his kitchen. I put the casserole in the fridge but when I turned back around Edward had a frown on his face and he looked to be deep in thought.

"Did I really lose that much weight?" He whispered, "I'm so sorry Alice. Thank you…thank you for doing all this…everything…"

He trailed off and kept his face looking down. It broke my heart to see Edward return to being his sullen self. Just when I thought we were making progress we took steps back.

I put down the fruit I was picking through and placed my tiny hand on his forearm, "Edward, other than Jazzy, you are my best friend. I care about you a lot. I'm just worried about…everything."

I said the last part barely above a whisper. I wanted to talk about Bella but I just couldn't bring myself to ask him. I plated up some of the spaghetti & meatballs and stuck it in the microwave for him. As I was looking for some of the bread I bought, I heard him speak softly.

"What should I do now Alice?"

I froze. I knew there was a chance that this question was going to come and despite trying to prepare myself for it last night, I couldn't offer any insight. I had no idea what he should do. This was heavy stuff to deal with. I had no problems telling people what they should wear or what accessories went with what, but I couldn't possibly tell Edward what to do in this situation. I watched as his hands clenched his hair tightly, the sure sign he was getting anxious.

"Edward I-"

"God, what do I do?!" I jumped as he grabbed the glass bowl on the table and threw it against the wall, shattering into pieces.

"WHY?! WHY NOW?!" He screamed as he stormed out of the kitchen, punching the walls as he went. I was frozen for a second as I watched him disappear around the corner. I heard the door to his office slam against the wall as he threw it open. I quickly ran after him. I would not let him do this again. As I ran down the hallway I noticed the deep gouged out holes in the wall. Great Edward…

I ran into his office and saw him throwing things all over the place again. I watched as he whirled around the room, destroying all the cleaning and organizing I had done only days ago. He froze looking for his next object and I took this opportunity to get him. I moved faster than I ever thought possible in a pair of Christian Louboutins and jumped on his back, latching onto his shoulders and waist.

"Gotcha!" I yelled. He jumped from the shock but didn't try to fight me off.

"Not again Edward. Please!" I begged. I hung on for dear life. I realize it was perhaps not the smartest thing to throw myself in the way of a man twice my size in a full on rage. I could feel his heavy breaths as I hung on. He made no move to throw me off or even well, move anywhere. After some immeasurable amount of time he finally spoke, though his voice was so dead and devoid of any emotion that it didn't even sound like Edward Cullen anymore.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Edward walked over to the couch that was in his office and let me hop off his back before settling into the soft black leather. I breathed a sigh of relief that I was at least able to calm and stop Hurricane Edward this time. I curled my feet up under me. Edward was looking down but looked deep in thought so I remained silent. I still had no answer about what he should do. The only thing that I could come up with was "think about E.J."

"I…I feel so…so betrayed. How could she do this to me?"

I took a deep breath. In the end, there was honestly only one question that needed to be answered here, "Edward, can I ask you something? I know it might be difficult to answer but-"

He cut me off, "Can I forgive her?"

He looked up at me and his face was hard and showed no emotion. This Edward was quite intimidating. I nodded, not trusting my voice to show no sign of fear. Edward looked back down at his hands and we were silent again for a moment before he whispered softly.

"I still love her…I'll never stop loving her. She is my…my life. Even just memories of her are what have kept me alive all these years."

I didn't want to put too much hope into this being his answer. Edward solely believed that Bella Swan was it for him. I didn't know their whole story, but from what I understood (as told to me by a very drunken freshly turned 24 year old Edward), Bella was indeed his everything. She had been there for him in every way, ever since they were children. I really didn't want to point it out, but he had to be reminded that it wasn't just about he and Bella anymore.

"And what about E.J.?" I asked him softly.

I saw Edward grip his hair and I tensed. That was he tell tale sign of panic and I was scared that we had made our progress and were now going our steps back. His answer however, completely surprised me.

"I loved him before I even knew he existed."

Edward's admission broke the dam and I couldn't hold back the tears that slipped over my cheek. Through my blurred vision I saw a lone tear slip down Edward's cheek.

"What should I do Alice? I won't lose her again. I can't lose them."

I was more than a little certain that my answer was the right one, and I knew that he wouldn't like it, but it truly had to be done.

"I think you need to talk to Bella."

"WHAT? I can't…n-n-no, I don't know what to say! After the way I left I-"

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" I yelled, effectively cutting off the rant that was coming. Edward was frozen in shock staring at me.

"Edward, I realize that this has been a ridiculous ordeal for you, and I can't even begin to imagine what it has really been like for you, but do you want Bella and E.J. in your life?"

He nodded silently.

"Well then, you need to talk to her Edward. It's the only way."

"I'll…I'll think about it Alice."

"Edward…" I warned.

"I just…I need to sort through my thoughts and feelings. I'm just so damn confused about what I should be feeling right now. I need to figure things out about myself before I face Bella."

I nodded. That made sense. I don't think anyone wanted a repeat of the screaming match from yesterday.

"And you have to promise me one more thing Edward?"

He looked at me, brows furrowed in confusion.

"No repeats of the past two weeks. Please don't hide away Edward. I want to help you. Jasper too. We'll all find a way to make this work."

Edward's lips twitched as he nodded. He didn't say anything else on the matter as we returned to the kitchen. At least this time around, I felt like learning about E.J. was going to actually be better in taming Hurricane Edward. It was like learning he had a son changed his whole demeanor. I had no idea what Edward thought about kids, but he usually hated it when they came into the store. His words echoed in my mind: _"I loved him before I even knew he existed." _I only hope he could tell Bella that and she would believe him.

Edward and I munched on some of the spaghetti & meatballs before we cleaned his apartment. He insisted that he could do it all himself, but I refused to leave me alone after his near breakdown. He repeatedly told me throughout the day that I was too good to him, and I responded with the same answer each time: he deserved kindness and happiness and I was hell bent on him getting both. At least he sort of smiled at that.

I left around five, making him promise to eat, bathe, and not tear his apartment apart. He nodded and even teased, asking if I wanted him to call me before he went to sleep so I would know he was still alive. I told him yes. I wasn't joking.

Jasper was already home when I got to the door. I could hear Sports Center through the door. I bet he was still fuming over the fact that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the Philadelphia Phillies were in the World Series. I guess 2008 was not a stellar season for Major League Baseball in general. I opened the door and was all set to open my mouth to announce my arrival when I froze in the doorway. There frozen in our kitchen doorway, beer in hand was Emmett McCarty. Jasper quickly appeared behind him.

"Darlin'! I, uh, wasn't sure when you'd be back…"

I completely ignored Jasper.

"What are you doing here?"

"Let me guess, you just came back from comforting HIM right?" I did not like the tone Emmett's voice had at all. That was all it took for momma bear to snap and come out swinging. I threw my purse on the table near the door and marched straight towards Emmett.

"You listen to me Emmett McCarty and you listen to me good!" I shouted as I poked my finger into his chest. I noticed my French Manicure was chipped and that just added to my fury even more. For once Emmett actually shut up and he looked a little scared. A look I usually only saw when Rosalie was threatening him.

"How DARE you come over here acting all righteous with that damn tone in your voice! In a little over TWO WEEKS Edward's entire world has been thrown upside down! Put yourself in his shoes for ONE second Emmett!!"

Emmett stared at me silently before running his hand across his face. Now that I took in his appearance better I realized he truly looked like crap. He had dark rings under his eyes and his clothes were completely disheveled. Jasper cleared his throat from behind Emmett.

"Perhaps we could all sit at the dinning room table and have a civilized conversation about this…situation. It is affecting us all."

Jasper's southern drawl calmed the fire in Emmett's eyes and I found momma bear going back into hibernation. The three of us moved quietly to the table. I stopped to grab a beer for myself before I sat. It was seriously one of those days and I needed the golden comfort of Stella.

"Darlin'," Jasper started calmly once we were all seated, "Emmett has some things that he would like to tell us."

Emmett took a long swig from his beer and then let out a heavy sigh. "I spent the ENTIRE night calming down E.J. AND Bella."

Jasper said nothing and I felt any anger I had towards Emmett McCarty slowly slipping away. He had told us that he was the only family that Bella had left. He didn't really explain what had happened to his parents. Simply that Bella was his only cousin and she came to live with him after she left Forks. I nodded for Emmett to continue.

"E.J. thinks he ruined his Daddy's surprise. I stayed up with him until 12am trying to convince him that he didn't and that Edward was coming back. Plus I had to try to convince him that Bella was fine. He's so much like Edward already it is ridiculous. E.J. is blaming himself for the whole situation and he doesn't even know the whole situation."

"Emmett, I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry for being mad at you. This whole situation isn't your fault."

Traces of Emmett's boyish grin appeared on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. "It's okay small one…I've dealt with this situation for years now…it is overwhelming isn't it?"

I could tell Emmett was trying to play it off and use his humor but I could tell he didn't find anything humorous about this at all. Never had. I wanted to hear the whole story from him though if he was willing to tell it.

"Em…you don't have to if you don't want to…but-"

"You want to know everything huh?"

"Em, we have to fix this!" I shouted, making my poor calm Jazzy jump in his chair at my sudden display. I smiled sheepishly and apologetically at him before continuing, "now that E.J. is involved and he knows who Edward is…I just don't want to hurt that poor boy when I know that we can save this future."

Emmett sighed and nodded, "Well, at least I will have you guys on board now."

We all took long swigs from our beers before Emmett started with his story.

"Well, I guess I should start from the beginning. You know I grew up in a small town in Montana. Just mom, my dad and me. My mom was Bella's dad's only sister. We had no other family. My dad was an only child. When I was 21, I was one year away from completing my business degree at the local community college. That summer was when I started researching the options about possibly opening up my own business or gym. My mom had cancer so I stayed home to be close. Anyway, one day in July, I come home and I hear my mom screaming at someone on the phone. After a little bit I could tell she was yelling at my Uncle Charlie, Bella's dad."

I nodded, taking in all this new information about Emmett.

"'_How can you do this to her Charlie?!' 'This will destroy her!' 'She will not go anywhere else!' _I couldn't understand what was going on. All I knew was my mom was furious and it had something to do with Bella. _'I'll take her Charlie!' 'NO! You've ruined her life enough!' _I couldn't believe it. At the time I thought Bella really must've done something stupid. I never would've thought Uncle Charlie would really send her away just for being pregnant."

I shook my head. I could sort of understand. I mean, had it been me, I'm sure my father would've done the same, but then again, he would've had to care enough about me in the first place. I waited silently as Emmett took another sip of his beer.

"When Bella arrived, I barely recognized her. My mother quickly rushed her upstairs and I was completely confused. My dad just shook his head as he sat in the living room. I could tell that my mother was absolutely livid from the moment she hung up on my uncle until the moment Bella got there.

It took a couple of days before I was able to talk to Bella. My mom and dad had to go into town for the day to get some supplies and told me to watch Bella. She hadn't left the room we gave her for days. My mom stressed the fact that Bella had to eat and that I make sure she did. I shrugged just assuming Bella might not eat because she was mad. I was not at all prepared for what happened in her room. Bella threw herself into my arms sobbing. She must've cried for half an hour at least. When she finally calmed down she said it softly, _'I'm pregnant Em.' _Then the poor girl starting pouring out the whole story about Edward and how Uncle Charlie thought he was a freak because he was blind and that the child would probably be a freak too and Bella was selfish to think she could stay and burden Edward with that. Especially since he had some surgery that regained his eyesight. I think there was more to it than that, but Bella never said anything else."

I was fuming. I hated to think it, but Charlie Swan was lucky he was dead, otherwise he would be dead as soon as I flew out to Forks and hunted him down. He forced all those thoughts into Bella's head.

"It wasn't Bella at all? Charlie tricked her into leaving Edward?" Jasper said.

"Well," Emmett said, "I guess you could say that. I can't say what Bella was thinking before Charlie found out she was pregnant. I'm guessing at the time she thought she could trust him and that's why she told him initially. After that first talk, Bella and I became very close. She leaned on me when she needed me and I helped her through all the Lamaze classes and read the books and everything. I was even her birthing coach in the delivery room. At that point my mom was too weak to help. She passed away about a month after E.J. was born."

"I'm so sorry Emmett," I whispered.

"It's okay Ali. Losing Dad that summer was worse, but Bella and I got through it. We had to see Charlie at the funerals of course, but Bella refused to see him, and he even had the nerve to ask to see his grandchild…BOTH funerals." Emmett shook his head and I was again thinking it was fortunate I couldn't get my hands on Charlie Swan.

"Bella never let E.J. meet Charlie, and while she might not regret it now, I think she might some day."

I nodded. I might not speak to my parents unless they need something from me, but I know I would regret it if they weren't at my wedding or didn't meet my children.

"Bella wrote a lot when she was pregnant. That was when she wrote Love Story. I thought it was great but she of course didn't. I sent it away to a publisher in New York and they as you know, loved it. That was how Izzie McCarty was born. Charlie pulled a lot of strings as Police Chief and he changed Bella's name so Edward couldn't find her."

"But she changed it to Isabella Cullen?"

"Charlie said she could pick the name. She told me Edward would never search for an 'Isabella Cullen' if he truly believed that she left him. It would hurt him too much to even think about. Apparently they had planned to get married once they were both 20."

I gasped. I never knew that. Edward never mentioned anything about ever wanting to marry Bella. This was deeper than I thought.

"Anyways, I enjoyed every minute of helping raise E.J. I graduated from my community college the semester he was born. After my mom and dad passed away, Bella's book got picked up and they signed her for three more. Bella and I decided to sell the house in Montana and move up to New York City. She always wanted to and I didn't want to see her give up on anymore of her dreams. At that time, she also said she was giving up on Edward. She explained to me about leaving him the pictures and she hoped he would somehow be able to find her."

"Oh Em," I sighed, "Edward never saw the pictures. He was so mad when Bella left, he just burned them without even looking at them."

"Oh lordy…" Emmett moaned as he rubbed his face again, "I don't know that I've ever met two more stubborn people in my life."

I nodded and saw Jasper do the same out of the corner of my eye, "So you guys came to the city and you've had the gym open for three years now…when did you find out Edward was Bella's Edward?"

Emmett sighed and looked down, "the week after I met him with you and Jasper."

"WHAT?! That was like, two years ago!" I shouted.

"I know! I know! I feel shitty about it all already okay?"

I blushed and apologized quickly, letting Emmett continue.

"Anyways, I had invited Edward to come in that week to work out. I had invited Bella too. Edward came in early before going to meet you at the store. He was running on a treadmill with his iPod on when Bella came in. That's why he didn't hear the commotion she caused. It was only the three of us in there and Bella flipped out. She told me that was Edward and he was E.J.'s father. I told her she needed to talk to him and he had the right to know about E.J. but she insisted she wasn't ready. I thought she was ridiculous, but she made me promise I couldn't say anything to him. She said I had to promise since we were the only family each other had. Rosalie too eventually. Bella roped Rosalie into promising by giving her the 'think about E.J.' speech. You know how Rosie's got a soft spot for kids. I've told Bella repeatedly that she had to face Edward until one day she blew up at me and screamed that he had moved on and he was happy."

Jasper made his first noise of the evening as he groaned and rubbed his temples. Edward and Bella really were the two most stubborn people I've ever heard of.

I too groaned, "Em, she saw Edward and I walking arm in arm to the store one day. She thought Edward and I were dating."

"Gross!"

"That's what I said! Like Edward and I would've ever matched!"

"Seriously, that's just wrong! I tried to tell her Edward was single! I'll have to ask just what she was thinking."

"I know right? Gross!"

"Children!" Jasper shouted in his teacher voice. He immediately had me and Emmett's attention. "Can we please stay on task and maybe discuss at some other time why Bella thought my fiancé was dating Edward?"

"Sorry." Emmett and I both said in unison. We all sat in silence as we finished up our beers. It was a little while before Emmett spoke again.

"Look, I want to apologize for keeping this from you guys too. You have no idea how hard it's been to keep this not only from you guys but also from Edward. Rosie and I have definitely gotten into our battles about this. I just couldn't betray Bella. She made me promise not to say a word. We're the only family each other have. I hope you guys can forgive me. Rosie too."

I had never seen Emmett look so vulnerable and sad before. He was always our happy go lucky big brother. I had never known just how much he's been hiding all this time and what a toll it had been taking on him. I looked at Jasper and he nodded his head as we both got up and wrapped Emmett up in a hug. He laughed as he patted our arms.

"Emmett, what are we going to do?"

"Honestly you guys, I'm not sure. Edward and Bella need to talk though. She was sobbing last night, repeatedly telling Rosie how much she still loves him, how she's never loved anyone else."

"Geez…she's just like Edward," I muttered.

"Tell me about it," Emmett rolled his eyes.

Suddenly my mind got bombarded with perhaps one of the most genius plans I have ever come up with. I must've gotten that blank look on my face that I get when struck by my usual fashionista genius because Jazzy totally called me on it.

"What are you planning Darlin'?"

I pulled away and smiled brightly at Jazzy and Emmett. This plan was going to work. I had already spoken my mind to Edward. All that was left was for me to speak to Bella and then my plan could really spring into motion.

"I need to talk to Bella." Jazzy stared at me wide eyed, apparently not expecting that as a part of my plan.

"What are you planning small one?" Emmett's grin getting a little bigger.

"I want to talk to Bella. I'm gonna need you, Rosalie, and Angela's help to get me in there and to take care of E.J. Well, if Rosalie can manage. I know she's pretty swamped with work."

"Geez…are you telling me. I think she drank the entire pot of coffee this morning plus a Red Bull when she went out the door. She's going to be bitchy tonight."

"Emmett!" Jazzy and I shouted at the same time.

"What? You don't deal with her rage once a month."

"Touché," Jazzy nodded.

"So, tell me again, what's the plan Ali?"

"Well," I said smiling, the wheels turning in my head, "tomorrow you get me in to see Bella."

**Well? Yes? No? I should congratulate you for just staying with me through that monster of a chapter and arriving here at my note. **

**A lot to take in right? Well, there is definitely more to the reason why Bella left Forks and yes, it has a WHOLE lot to do with Charlie Swan. I hope Edward was a little manlier for you all in this chapter. Okay, so I didn't dive into his "dark times" too much, but I don't do well with the angst, and I've got surprises I need to get to in this story already. :-P **

**I really do like Alice and Emmett in this chapter. After Edward, they are my favorite Cullens. I hope they were to your liking too. What do you think the little pixie really has planned?**

**So…next chapter, we get a POV I think you've all been wondering about and Rosalie is going to make her thoughts known. **

**Thanks for sticking with me through that monster of a chapter and for reading the story. Just seeing that people are reading makes me smile. :- ) Review if you can. Pretty please?**


	11. Chapter 10: Leave Out All The Rest

**Disclaimer: Not mine…thanks for letting us borrow it Stephenie :-P**

**A/N: Sorry & Surprise! This one is kind of a monster too. Lots and lots to get through before we get to the good stuff unfortunately. I'm glad that I got this out earlier than intended (my clock on my laptop says 2:02AM). Apparently I just don't sleep anymore. I could've waited until tomorrow, but hopefully this will be a nice surprise in your inboxes. :-) Oddly enough, I was watching a lot of "Family Guy" when I worked on the majority of this chapter. And you guys in the Western half of the U.S. (since I hear they don't exist past Arizona), have you guys seen the Jack in the Box commercial for the mini buffalo ranch chicken sandwich with the song & dance? It's fricking stuck in my head and irritates the crap out of me. **

**As always, ajenc, thank you for all your help. I hope this lives up to your expectations.**

**xXiStillLoveHimXx- thank you for your reviews! : - )**

**Homebody and Lissa10590, I hope you're still with me. **

**And everyone else too, thanks for reading and checking this out.**

**Unrelated but ~*drool*~ I saw "Public Enemies" tonight (and that has left me wide awake now)! Gangster Johnny Depp = WOW. In Hollywood there is only one man I love more than Rob Pattinson and that is Johnny Depp (sorry Rob, but I've been infatuated with Johnny since I was 9 years old). Thumbs up to "Public Enemies". And I saw "17 Again" for a dollar. It was totally worth it. :-) Right...moving on...**

_**Don't be afraid**_

_**I've taken my beating**_

_**I've shared what I've made**_

_**I'm strong on the surface **_

_**Not all the way through**_

_**I've never been perfect **_

_**But neither have you**_

_**So if you're asking me I want you to know**_

_**When my time comes**_

_**Forget the wrong that I've done**_

_**Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed**_

_**Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty**_

_**Keep me in your memory**_

_**Leave out all the rest**_

_**Leave out all the rest**_

_**Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well**_

_**Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself**_

_**I can't be who you are**_

_**-Linkin Park, "Leave Out All the Rest"**_

Chapter 10: Leave Out All the Rest

_**BPOV**__ (finally eh?)_

Even across an entire continent, I couldn't escape the gray skies that clouded the sunshine. I guess the weather was appropriate for a dismal morning like this. It was cruel for me to send E.J. to school yesterday and today. He cried again last night for his daddy and I barely held it together while I tried to soothe him and tuck him in. I ignored all the phone calls and text messages I got today from Angela, Rose, and Emmett. Even Ben called, but I think that might've just been Angela trying from another number. I only spoke to Angela this morning when she came to take E.J. to school for me. I told her I just needed time to be alone and think. I could tell she was hesitant about leaving me alone, but she agreed.

I don't know why I never figured that one day I might run into Edward somewhere in the city. I almost fainted when I saw him at the party for "Izzie McCarty". After that first time at Emmett's gym, I never returned there again, instead having a mini gym put into my two-story penthouse. Then after I saw Edward and Alice at the store that first time I avoided that place too, that is until we were driving by after a meeting downtown and I saw my painting through the window. I couldn't believe it. I knew Edward had painted it and I was completely beside myself. I couldn't let someone else buy it so I made Angela go in, originally telling her that it was creepy some stranger had painted a picture of me.

Of course Angela was pissed off at me when she came back to the car. Especially after I let her know that I knew this was Edward's store. I told her I would make it up to her and go in and buy it myself. It was so much easier when I was text messaging her, and she was surprised I was willing to finally face Edward. I was upset knowing that Edward had painted a portrait of me, especially when I thought he didn't want me anymore. So upset that I wanted to demand answers from him the next day when I picked up the painting, but when it was only Alice in the store that day, I chickened out, panicked, and introduced myself as Izzie McCarty instead. I couldn't reveal myself as Bella Swan to anyone but Edward.

The reason I chose my anonymity was so that I could protect E.J. from any potential unwanted media attention and try to give him a "normal" life. I really thought that Edward wouldn't want either one of us, and I REALLY didn't want him to see my picture or a picture of E.J. and then find out that he had a son that way. Anyone could tell that he was Edward's son and I couldn't ruin the happy life I had always assumed Edward had been leading since I left him.

I tried to replay his words in my head:

"_This means nothing without you!"_

"_Everything I've achieved in this life meant nothing without you to share it with!" _

"_You were my everything Bella! I love you and you left me when I needed you more than anything!" _

"_You think that I don't want you?"_

"_You think that I wouldn't want my own SON?! He's my son Bella! How could you keep him from me!"_

"_Were you ever going to tell me?"_

"_You were never going to tell me were you? You were never going to tell me that I had a son?!"_

I let out a strangled sob and as the clouds outside opened up and as the rain poured down, my own tears began to flow down my cheeks. Edward was right…I was probably never going to tell him that he had a son. I probably would've kept up with the letter charade, hoping that eventually E.J. would grow tired of it. I don't know what I would've done when E.J. would have eventually started asking if we could go visit his daddy in Paris. I was so scared that Edward would never want E.J. I would hurt forever knowing that he didn't want me, but I would live. I couldn't live with myself if he didn't want E.J. though.

Clearly I was grossly misled. Edward hadn't moved on and claimed that he was not happy, and this life he built for himself meant nothing without me. I wanted to believe him…I wanted to believe him so badly. But the fury in his eyes when he accused me of thinking he wouldn't want E.J. kept me from believing him. I had never seen Edward so mad in my life. I don't know why I would've expected anything less. It was really so much less than I deserve for being a coward and a fool and hiding E.J. from him. The look in his eyes told me that he would never forgive me, and it shattered my heart.

Memories were my worst enemy these past 6 years…and surely they were Edward's as well. I always questioned my decision to leave him the journals. I sighed. It was my last selfish act and I didn't want Edward to forget me. I had wanted so badly for Edward to know that I loved him for such a long time. Now I wished that he would forget how much I hurt him and how much I said that I loved him in those journals. But I knew that Edward would never forget the hurt that I caused him these past 6 years, and I would never forget the pain of the regret and cowardice that I felt.

My head snapped to the direction of my office door when I heard the front door to the penthouse open. I hastily wiped the tears from my cheeks. I had told everyone to leave me alone today, and there were really only two people who would ignore my request. And they were two VERY different people. I was either preparing myself for an all out verbal war with Emmett, or bawling my eyes out with Angela. Neither was very appealing. The door to my office flung open and I shrank back in my seat. I wasn't prepared for this at all.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!"

Good lord, it was Rosalie McCarty, and she was coming out swinging. Battling with Emmett was one thing, but Rosalie was downright scary sometimes. Lord help me now, because she's never directed this side of her towards me. She marched straight up to me and I shrank even deeper into the window seat.

"Bella, I've bought your crap for years! _'Think about E.J. Rose!' 'I can't hurt E.J.' _Bullshit Bella!"

The tears started to stream down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them at all. I remained silent. Rosalie had fought with Emmett often when the threat to tell Edward the truth came up. I knew Rose had a soft spot where E.J.'s well-being was concerned, and it was wrong for me to play on that concern for all these years because I was too much of a coward to face the truth.

"I'm sorry Rose…" I whimpered.

"Sorry?!" she yelled back, "Don't you apologize to me Bella! YOU think about E.J.! He's hurting so much Bella! He finally met his daddy! DO NOT take them away from each other!"

That was all it took for me to snap. Had I stayed sane and moping and crying, I never would've talked back to Rosalie ever.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!"

Rose actually took a step back looking shocked. Even when I got into my battles with Emmett, I never screamed like that. She quickly composed herself.

"FIX IT Bella! I've stood by long enough. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how long I've been lying to Edward. Not only Edward but Alice and Jasper! Alice is one of my best friends Bella! Bella, Emmett and I have almost fallen apart because of all of this!"

I blanched at her last words. I never knew that.

"W-wh-what?" I stuttered out.

Rose looked at me hard before nodding, "I'm not going to lie Bella. When Emmett came back from Forks after your dad's funeral, he was staying in a hotel. I told him we had to tell Edward. He refused, saying he couldn't break that promise to you. I know you two think that you are all each other have or whatever, but come on Bella! Aren't E.J. and I your family now too? Shouldn't we be taken into consideration in the decisions you and Emmett make?"

I sniffled and nodded.

"And Bella, whether you like it or not, Edward is a part of this family now too. He's E.J.'s daddy."

I opened my mouth to speak but Rose cut me off.

"No Bella. You know I'm right. You told me yourself the other night, you said you're still in love with Edward. He's E.J.'s dad and that makes him family. Bella, I will not let this family fall apart."

I sniffled and whispered, "What if Edward wants nothing to do with us?"

"Are you fucking KIDDING me?!" Rose yelled, "Bella, I've seen him these past two years. He is still so in love with you! You Isabella Marie Swan!"

"Even now? When he knows everything I've done to him? Everything I've kept from him?"

"Yes Bella."

We stood in silence for a few minutes. I was trying to will myself to believe Rosalie and that Edward might still be in love with me after all this time.

"You know what you have to do right Bella?"

I looked up at Rose, wide eyed. I mentally cringed because I knew what she was going to say.

"You have to talk to Edward Bella. If for nothing else, do it for E.J. That boy deserves his daddy after all the letters and all this time. And don't even get me started on the letters Bella…"

I nodded. I knew Rosalie was completely against the letter idea from the beginning. I just wanted E.J. to know that he had a daddy who loved him, even if his daddy wasn't really in the picture. God, now I prayed more than anything that he WOULD have a daddy who loved him…even if he didn't love me.

"Okay, well," Rose said calmly, her now complete change in demeanor irritating me, "I'm glad we had this talk Bella. I've got to get back to the office. DO NOT make me regret using my lunch break for this!"

She looked so scary that I just nodded. I give Emmett credit for keeping up with Rosalie.

"Talk to him Bella, and do it soon! E.J. needs his daddy."

And with that Rosalie McCarty breezed out of my office as quickly as she had stormed in. Everything she had said made sense, but now I just felt even worse. The guilt I was feeling had quadrupled. I hurt not only Edward, but also Emmett, Rosalie, and E.J. with the lies and hiding I had done in the past years. My head snapped to the direction of my office door when I heard the front door to the penthouse open again. I rolled my eyes and stood up from my perch at the window seat. I was really hoping I was done with Rosalie for today, and I swear if it is Emmett out there I'm going to just about lose it. I've already got enough on my mind. I was grumbling to myself about the whole thing but I froze dead in my tracks when I noticed it was not at all either McCarty that was standing in my living room.

"You and I need to talk right now."

I simply nodded, to stunned to speak, and led Alice Brandon to the couch. My mind was reeling. How did she even get into my apartment? How did she even know where I lived? Did Jasper tell her? Didn't that break some sort of teacher confidentiality law or something?

"Before you ask, I spoke to Rosalie and she's the one who let me in. She said to call her if you need anything else, and Angela is going to pick up E.J. after school. She said to also call her too if you need anything."

I nodded. Angela had found Alice extremely amusing when she found out that Angela was the personal assistant to Izzie McCarty. I guess they hit it off better than I had thought.

"Can I get you anything?" I offered quietly.

"No. I am here on behalf of Edward and we are going to sit here and talk until you hear what I have to say and I get some answers."

I was speechless. She might look like a pixie in her cute designer fashions, but geez, she was a fierce bear when she meant business. So I just nodded for her to continue.

"I met Edward when he first came to the city. He actually lives three buildings away from you."

My eyes shot open and my mouth just hung there in an "O" shape. He has been that close all this time?

"Yeah…now how small does New York City feel? Anyway, Jasper and I live in the building next to Edward. Edward had originally bought a small empty space next to my store. I was eying it to expand my store, but he put up a better offer. I met him while he was down there checking things out and I managed to persuade him that we should merge stores. Profit from each other. He was reluctant at first but he agreed. After that we became fast friends. Other than my Jazzy, Edward is my best friend. Rosalie's firm helped us merge all of the paperwork and whatnot to make Edward and I both co-owners of New Moon. I've known Rose since I started New Moon. So then of course we all started hanging out, but Edward never showed any interest in any girls. Tons of them would come up to him if the 5 of us went out somewhere, but he'd just end up getting ridiculously uncomfortable and leaving early."

I smiled at that. That was the Edward that I knew. He was always so uncomfortable when I would tell him that the female population was constantly checking him out. He always said that he only cared if I was the female checking him out.

"Now don't get mad, Rose and I, well me anyways, had no idea at the time about you, so we tried to set him up on dates. He went on a grand total of 3, and never more than one with each girl. Emmett was starting to wonder if Edward had turned gay and Rose promptly smacked him on the back of the head for that one."

I chuckled. I could totally see that happening. "I guess it didn't help all your suspicions either since Edward is an artist for a living and also plays the piano."

"He plays the piano?!" Alice nearly squealed.

I looked at her surprised, "Edward is a damn Mozart on the piano!"

"Wow…he and I are going to have words about why I never knew that fact about him…" Alice muttered.

"Anyway," Alice continued, "Last year on Edward's 24th birthday we got him completely wasted. Em and Rose had a party in their apartment with just the five of us. We were all pretty trashed, but that was the first time Edward ever spoke of you. Emmett made some rude comment about Edward never getting any, but then Edward surprises us all by saying, 'I got some from Bella.' At the time I didn't know, but now I guess I can understand about why Emmett looked like he might throw up."

"Yeah…he wasn't so thrilled that his little cousin, that he treats more like a baby sister, was having sex and got pregnant," I mumbled.

Alice giggled, "Sounds like Em. Well, of course Jasper and I were interested because we never heard ANYTHING about a woman in Edward's life. Rosalie pretended to be very interested too. Edward went on to tell us that 'his Bella' was the love of his life."

My eyes started prickling and I cursed the fact that I cried so easily.

"So of course we were all like, 'Where is this Bella?' and he responded with 'she left me when I was blind.' And that of course was when we found out Edward used to be blind and the topic swung in that direction because we all couldn't believe it. I didn't forget about you though. I waited until a couple days later when Edward was sober and over his mean hangover.

We were in the store and since the beginning Edward always sat in the office reading or sketching ideas for paintings. He only comes out into the store if someone is seriously inquiring about buying one. He doesn't like dealing with the women who come in. Honestly, some of them were absolutely shameless. And now there's a rumor going around town about the 'sexy artist' who works at New Moon. At least it brings in new customers."

She sighed at that. I was frowning at this. There was a rumor going around about Edward? That wasn't helping any of my thoughts right now.

"Well, one day, I come back from my lunch break and I find Edward in the office. He looked like he didn't even know I had come in. He was clutching a black journal with a red heart on the cover to his chest and his other hand was pulling at his hair."

My breath caught. That was the last journal that I had left for him.

"He was crying and I was trying so hard not to freak out. I had no idea what to do. I asked him what was wrong and all he said was 'she left me'. I had no idea what he was talking about then, but then he whispered 'Bella' as he cried."

I felt the tears start to drip down my cheeks and Alice handed me a tissue before taking one for herself and dabbing her own eyes. Clearly she did care a lot about Edward.

"When he finally calmed down, all Edward explained to me was that your father made you leave him, but you never came back for him. He has read the journals so many times I've learned that the midnight blue one is the second journal and the black one with the red heart is the last one. I've seen both of those at least 7 times in the last year. All you left him was your journals and a letter."

"But the pictures!" I cried, "I left him all the pictures I ever took of us! He refused to let anyone take pictures of him when he was growing up and would go into a rage whenever anyone tried. Even me when we first started dating. Finally he let up in our senior year of high school after he decided on having the surgery. He said he DID want to remember us and what it was like when he was blind."

"Oh Bella," Alice sniffled, "After you left, Edward said he was so angry when he received the box of journals and everything that you left him, he grabbed the envelope with the pictures and threw them into the fireplace. He never saw them. I know he regrets it. He calls himself a fool."

My breath caught in my throat. So at the party he had no idea who I was? Or outside of the store when we locked eyes across the street?

"Oh God…" I sobbed, "He never knew it was me!"

Alice rubbed my back slowly as I sobbed, "but his painting? How did he know what I looked like and paint it if he never saw the pictures? Never knew what I looked like? My dad wiped out every possible resource in Forks that had a picture of me, and got anything on the Internet about Bella Swan wiped too."

"I don't know Bella…I can call you that now right? Not Izzie?"

I nodded. I secretly hated the name Izzie.

"I think the painting is something you're going to have to talk to Edward about. He never explains to me where his ideas for paintings come from."

We sat in silence for a while after that. I tried to take in everything Alice had told me about Edward. He seemed to be just a shell of the once happy and exuberant boy I had left behind. He was living in the past, re-reading every journal I had ever written while we were together. Journals where I poured out my heart with my feelings for him and how complete he made my life when we were together. I sighed and tried to prepare myself the best I could. I knew that she must've come for answers from me too.

"So," I started, "I guess you want to hear my side of the story. The whole reason I left Edward and kept E.J. from him?"

Alice took a sharp breath, "Well…I'd be lying if I said no…but if you don't want to-"

"No," I said, "You're his best friend and I can tell you care a lot for him. You should know."

"I love him like a brother," Alice said softly, dabbing her tears. I rubbed her back gently as I began my story for her.

_Flashback_

_I couldn't believe it. I looked again and giggled. My t-shirt was tucked up into my bra as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was sticking my now seemingly flat stomach as far out as I could make it go. I smiled and looked down as I gently rubbed my hand across my belly. Sure this wasn't what Edward and I had planned, but as long as we were together, we could get through this. _

_I felt bad about not telling Esme and Carlisle, but they were worried about Edward's recovery. He just came out of surgery this afternoon and the doctor declared it a complete success. I can't even tell you how overjoyed I was. My Edward was going to be able to see. When I was leaving to go home, I got hit with a wave of nausea and threw up. Esme was with me and she had one of Carlisle's co-workers take a look at me. I think I almost had a heart attack when Dr. Jones asked me when my last period was. I knew that question could only mean one thing, and the fact that I couldn't remember having one since the beginning of May answered what was wrong with me. Between graduating, Edward's 19__th__ birthday, and preparing for the surgery, I had let things slip my mind._

_I quickly asked Dr. Jones how that was possible if I was on the pill. She then asked me if I had been on any antibiotics recently and I groaned. I was really sick at the end of April and I had been on antibiotics to get better in time for Prom. I panicked at first, telling Dr. Jones she couldn't tell anyone. Of course she reassured me of Doctor/patient confidentiality. She gave me some vitamins to start taking and also told me that I was about 7 weeks along. I couldn't believe it. I felt bad lying to Esme and telling her it was just a stomach bug. I had decided I really wanted to tell Edward first. _

_So here I am, giggling to myself and rubbing my tummy with me and Edward's child inside. Edward first mentioned our future back in February. We were trying to decide what we were going to do next year. Edward was incredibly smart and we both had gotten accepted to the same schools. He said he would follow me anywhere, and we were talking about taking a year off from wherever we decided on until he could get some of his bearings down with his vision. NYU was what we decided on eventually, that way we could both achieve our goal of seeing New York City. _

_Off and on Edward mentioned our future together and the first time he told me he wanted to marry me was after Spring Break. He said he couldn't wait to make me his wife. After Prom was when he first mentioned his desire to be a father. We agreed that we wanted to be married when we moved to New York, but Edward put off asking me officially to be his wife until he could see my reaction even though he knew my answer. I wasn't so hip on the idea of ever becoming a mother, but eventually the thought of Edward and I creating a life together grew on me. I just didn't think it would be so soon._

_I moved to go sit on my bed, but still kept my shirt up as I sat back and continued to run my hand over my stomach. I was pregnant and Edward was going to be a daddy. He told me now that he was going to be able to see, he cherished the thought of being a father. The dreams of running and playing with his children while I watched always made him smile. I was liking these dreams now too as I thought of them. Edward had always been a very caring and loving person. His happiness was my happiness and I knew, that though this might not be what we planned, he would be overjoyed._

_I rubbed my stomach some more and started talking to our child. _

"_Hi there baby…well, you certainly weren't part of the plans just yet. Don't worry though. Daddy is going to get all better and he is going to be so excited and happy when I tell him about you. I already know he loves you and I love you too. Your Daddy and I are so excited to be parents and can't wait to meet you."_

_I sat and smiled. It might be relatively flat now, but soon I would be sporting a very visible baby bump. I really could care less what the small town people of Forks were going to say. Most of them knew Edward and I had been together for over 5 years now and loved us together as a couple. Especially facing all the challenges that we did. I know Edward will be overjoyed. The first thing he'll do is kiss my stomach an-_

"_Tell me you're joking."_

_I jumped up quickly when I saw my dad standing frozen in the doorway._

"_Dad, I…um…"_

"_Bells, tell me you're joking. You're…you're not pregnant?"_

_Oh God…I didn't even think about what my Dad's reaction was going to be. But he loved Edward and Edward and I had been together since we were 13 years old. He had to know that we loved each other and we could get through anything together right?_

"_Um…"_

"_ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!! ARE YOU PREGNANT WITH CULLEN'S CHILD?!"_

_Cullen? My Dad NEVER referred to Edward like that. I could feel the angry tears pooling in my eyes and my happy bubble burst._

"_If you're talking about EDWARD, than yes I am!" I yelled at my father._

_My dad's face practically turned purple before he roared, "I forbid you to see him!"_

"_FINE! Then I'll move out! Esme & Carlisle will be more than glad to help me!"_

"_How could you be so selfish and stupid Bella?"_

_I recoiled like my father had slapped me. When I didn't say anything he continued._

"_Do you have any idea what this is going to be like for Edward? This is going to ruin his life Bella."_

"_Dad! No i-"_

"_You're wrong Bella! Edward is going to be trying hard to re-learn how to live and you're going to dump the extra burden of trying to raise a child on him?"_

"_We'll do it together I-"_

"_You say that now Bella. But what about if that child is born blind like Edward? How are you going to handle that? Even if the baby is healthy you're going to be taking Edward's future away from him."_

"_He WANTS to be a father!" I finally screamed out._

"_Someday maybe! Not when he's learning who people are and how to read! If you keep that child Isabella, you are going to steal Edward's future from him."_

"_He WANTS this future!"_

"_How do you know Bella? Does he know about the baby? You are just assuming Bells! This is what YOU want. Think about Edward and stop being so damn selfish!"_

_I could feel the fight in me leaving and Charlie's words were making sense. Edward wanted to be a father SOMEDAY. SOMEDAY when he was ready and was accustomed to seeing. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks._

"_Think about it Bells, if you love Edward, then you'll leave him. You'll do what's best for his future."_

_I snapped my head towards my father, "THIS IS HIS CHILD TOO! I can't take that away from him!"_

"_Do you think he'll be focusing at all on his own recovery when he's preoccupied with trying to take care of you and his child? How is he going to provide for the two of you? How are you going to live?"_

"_I…I'll…"_

"_You'll what Bella? Edward has no way to support you! He won't even be able to read how to make a formula bottle or make baby food! How is he going to help you?"_

"_Dad…I…" the tears were flowing harder now. My dad was right. I couldn't burden Edward with this. If he knew…he'd put all his own needs second. He wouldn't recover like he was supposed to._

"_Bella…you need to leave him. If you love him and care about him, you'll leave him. You'll let him recover the way he's supposed to and give him the opportunity for the future that this surgery was meant to bring him. Don't let him be held back in Forks like I was."_

_I couldn't breathe as my father's words were the final blow. Did my own father regret being here in Forks raising me? He and my mother were a year older than Edward and I when they had me. I had always assumed they were happy here…that he was happy here. I sobbed as my father turned to leave the room. He was right but how could I just leave without letting Edward know? Stop being selfish Bella! Even just knowing he has a child will derail his recovery. I sighed…it was better if Edward didn't know at all. If I just left and made him believe I was doing what was best for us. If I just left so he wouldn't be stuck here in Forks. He would resent me for holding him back if I stayed. Just like my own father resented me. I had to give it to him, that Charlie Swan was a good actor, playing the part of a happy and caring father all these years. _

_Everything went by in a blur. My father didn't even wait for confirmation from me before he had started making plans. He was serious about me leaving Edward behind. He told me I needed to disappear so Edward could move on with his life. Sure he would hurt, but he would get over it. I can't believe my father doubted our love so much. It pained me to think of Edward moving on, but I wanted him to move on. I wanted him to have the life this surgery was meant to give him, even if his baby and I were not a part of it. _

"_I'm sending you to your Aunt & Uncle in Montana. They'll help you. Edward can't know where you are Bells…not if you're serious about letting him have the future he deserves."_

_God, my dad was so quick to remind me of the guilt I would carry forever now. I was selfish and wanted to just tell Edward…but I knew I couldn't take away the future he had before him. I just nodded as I packed what little possessions I wanted to take with me. I didn't pack much clothes since I'd outgrow them all in a month and I packed my few books and pictures. I even changed my name. Charlie let me at least pick that. He had a fit when I told him "Isabella Cullen", but I somehow managed to convince him that Edward would never look for an "Isabella Cullen". It would hurt him too much since I told me dad we planned to get married. I didn't care how mad Charlie got when I said that. Nothing he could do to me now would hurt me more than this. _

_Charlie knew I would leave all of my journals for Edward to read so he would know just how long and how much I loved him. He read through them all making sure I never made a mention of where my Aunt & Uncle lived so Edward couldn't find me. I was furious, but my dad kept up with the guilt trip. My dad also made me write one last letter to Edward, separate from the journals that my father would give to him, knowing he would demand to know where I was when I didn't show up to see him after the bandages came off. I told my father that I would leave the journals for Angela to give to Edward._

_When I went to Angela's I let my selfish side win out and I desperately wrote one journal entry to Edward. I convinced myself that if I dropped hints about where I was going and why I was leaving, it wasn't selfish. If he figured them out, he would just be clever, and I would never own up to him finding me with some help. Hopefully he would see them and follow them. I also left all (well, almost all) of the pictures I took of Edward and I together these last couple of months. So he would have even more help to find me. I left a note for Angela…apologizing for disappearing, to ask her to give this to Edward, to thank her for her friendship…leaving Forks was breaking my heart, but it had to be done so I could give Edward the future life he deserved._

_End Flashback_

"Saying goodbye at the hospital was the worst," I sniffled, "I almost collapsed outside of Edward's door. My dad carried me to the car and we went straight to the airport. I guess I can say the man was good enough to let me say goodbye to Edward in person. That and he never ever raised the idea of aborting the pregnancy. At least he was a good enough man for that."

I sighed. Alice was sobbing as I told her the story. I didn't even get to the best part yet. The part about how my dad NEVER approved of Edward and thought he was the one destroying MY future…not me destroying Edward's future.

"The month after E.J. was born, Emmett's mom passed away. Charlie, I refused to refer to him as my father anymore, came to the funeral in Montana. E.J. was sleeping up in my room. It started off civil at first, but I was still incredibly depressed about being apart from Edward and what I did to him. Charlie had been dating Sue Clearwater since I was in high school. She told me that Edward and his family had stopped by looking for me, how Carlisle and Charlie actually got into a huge fight and Charlie called Edward a 'freak' and he told him that he was never good enough for his daughter."

Alice gasped and I nodded, feeling my buried anger in my chest.

"Charlie had apparently said that he was just waiting for a reason to separate the two of us. That he didn't want his daughter involved with a freak…someone that I would have to support through everything. He said that Edward ruined my life growing up, that I was always the one taking care of Edward, and Charlie wasn't going to stand by and watch Edward hold me back while he recovered. Sue told me that Edward ran out as soon as Charlie had called him a freak. Carlisle actually punched Charlie in the face. Unfortunately Charlie was clever enough to not slip the fact that I was pregnant."

I could feel my fists clenched at my sides and my breathing had picked up. Even Alice looked like she was going to punch something.

"Charlie lied…he told me that I would ruin Edward's life…when really it was Charlie who wanted me to have nothing to do with Edward because he thought Edward ruined MY life. Charlie made me feel like me being born ruined his life too. I was so mad at my father. I refused to let him see E.J. and my Aunt's funeral was actually the last time I spoke to him."

I sighed, "Does it make me a terrible person that I didn't even go to his funeral? That I hate him so much for ruining my life that I couldn't even forgive him in the end?"

I barely choked out the words before I started sobbing. Charlie was dead…though I felt like my father had died years ago after his betrayal of me, I still couldn't bring myself to forgive him.

"Oh Bella!" Alice cried as she threw her arms around me, hugging me tighter than I thought her small arms could, "He hurt you! What he did was despicable!"

"But he was my father…and I couldn't even forgive him in the end!" I sobbed.

We were quiet for a little longer as Alice held me and let me cry out my present frustrations. Though I had come to realize that Charlie's manipulation was clearly to blame for me believing that I should leave Forks, it was my cowardice that kept me from approaching Edward these last years.

"Bella," Alice said softly, "I think…I think Charlie knew in the end what he did was wrong, and I'm sorry that he's gone, but Bella, think about what the future can hold now?"

I sniffled, "What Alice? I don't think Edward can forgive me. Even though he reads the journals, he knows the truth now, and all he'll ever remember now is how much I hurt him."

Alice looked at me apologetically, "Bella, while I can't agree that this was the right thing to do…I can see why you did it. You did it because you love Edward and you wanted him to have the best life possible. But Bella, even I could see that the best life possible, was the one that was with you."

"Alice, what do I do?" I sobbed, "I've known for years now what Charlie did was wrong and I should've never believed him, but I've been such a coward Alice! I've been too afraid of facing Edward and now look what's happened! I'm causing everyone I hold dear to me so much pain! He'll never forgive me. And I don't even know what to do about E.J.!"

"Bella," Alice said as she combed my hair with her fingers, "I don't know what he'll say to you, but I know he'll at least talk. I also know that deep down both you and Edward want what's best for E.J. and I know you both know that involves Edward being a part of his life now."

I nodded, but my chest ached, "Alice…I still love him…I love him so much…"

"I know Bella," she said softly, "just talk to him. I have a feeling things will turn out better than you think."

The smile on Alice's face was so confident that I couldn't help but let some of that slip into me. Could I talk to Edward? Yes…I had to. I recalled Rosalie's words. If for nothing else, I had to do this for E.J.

"Come on Bella, I'm starving. I feel like I could eat an entire cow."

I couldn't help but laugh. I doubt this pixie could even finish off half a burger from Gray's Papaya. I quickly wiped the grin off my face when I saw the look on Alice's face.

"Why does everyone think I can't eat more than half a hot dog or something?"

"I…um…sorry?" I hedged. It's not like Alice and I were best buddies or anything. However her positive outlook and fierce loyalty made her all the more attractive as someone I would want in my life.

"Don't worry about it Bella. Let's go eat! My treat! Then you'll witness the eating machine that is Alice Brandon."

I laughed again. This would perhaps be a sight to behold. I assessed my clothing situation and found Alice doing the same…except she was frowning.

"Please tell me you weren't coming out like that?"

It was my turn to frown. I was in some baggy jeans that had seen better days and a chunky black sweater. My plan was to just throw my on my grey coat over it all.

"To the closet Bella! We're going out to face the world and I am finding you a fierce outfit that screams 'no more tears, no more fears.'"

"What are you talking about Alice?" I muttered as I led the way to my bedroom.

"Well, we're done with the tears right?" Alice said as she walked straight past me into my bedroom and right up to my closet.

"Well, yeah…"

"And no more fears right? We're not afraid of talking to Edward anymore?"

"I…um…"

"RIGHT Bella?" Alice said, turning around and throwing a pair of grey skinny jeans Rose had bought me for my last birthday at my face.

"Right Alice. No fear."

I quickly changed while the pixie was still lost in my walk in closet. I wasn't a fan of this style of jeans. I had a 5 year old son and these just felt too sexy to be wearing…even if I did just turn 25 years old myself.

"PERFECT!" the pixie squealed as I jumped.

She marched out with a black leather bomber jacket I wasn't even aware that I owned and long sleeved cobalt blue v-neck shirt, while black ballet flats dangled from her tiny fingers.

"I'll wait in the living room downstairs."

When I finished dressing I took a quick glance in the mirror. While my eyes were still puffy and red from crying, I couldn't deny that at least I was dressed like I had no fear. I quickly dabbed my eyes one more time before heading downstairs.

"Perfect," Alice chirped from her spot on my couch, "no more tears, and no more fears."

"No tears, no fears Alice," I smiled, willing myself to believe it.

"Right Bella! I just have to swing by my apartment quickly and then we can be off. We can walk there. It's only a couple of buildings away."

**Well? Yes? No? We all remember who ELSE only lives a couple of buildings away right? Sneaky little pixie…**

**Hmmm…well, this chapter was kind of a monster again. I know Charlie seems like an a-hole and he's dead in the story already, but he's not done. That's all I'll say about that. Did we like Rosalie? She and Alice certainly slapped some more sense into Bella I think. And well, now you know the whirlwind of reasons behind why Bella left poor Edward.**

**So…next chapter, don't worry Edward will be back, though in what state, who knows. Do you think he kept his promise to Alice? Oh, and the pixie's plan is certainly not done.**

**Well, thank you for sticking with me and reading. Seeing that people are reading makes me smile, but not gonna lie, reviews make me smile more. :- ) Review if you can. Pretty please?**

**P.S. In case people recognize it and think I'm not gonna give credit, the idea for the whole "E.J.'s letters from his daddy" thing came from the Gerard Butler movie "Dear Frankie." Excellent movie and you should watch it if you get the chance.**


	12. Chapter 11: New Divide

**Disclaimer: Not mine...how I wish I was that creative..,**

**A/N: BLEH…I played volleyball for two days in a tournament. First time I've played competitively since like, high school. Needless to say my hidden ridiculously competitive side came out and I have bruises on my hips and ribs, breathing hurts, I can't bend my ring and middle finger on my right hand, and my shoulder aches. UGH…I now remember why I didn't want to play in college. **

**Sorry…typing and thinking and as I said, breathing in general (my ribs hurt like a mo fo), has been difficult. I hope you all are doing better than I am at this moment. **

**Anyways, thank you ajenc (pretty much my unofficial beta), Homebody, xXiStillLoveHimXx, and twimom34 (welcome aboard!). You guys make me smile. **

**And anyone else who is just reading or may have just stumbled upon my little ditty here, thanks for reading. Seeing that people are simply reading this makes me smile. **

**And yeah, I realize last chapter was a Linkin Park song too, but what can I say? I freaking LOVE them! Especially Mike Shinoda. There is just something that's so…dare I say, SEXY about that rapper's voice. Come on LP, I need more Mike on the next album…Sorry this is getting long…**

**P.S. Things get lemon-y again. Thought I'd warn you. And no, it's probably not how you're imagining it. **

_**There was nothing in sight **_

_**but memories left abandoned **_

_**There was nowhere to hide **_

_**the ashes fell like snow **_

_**And the ground caved in **_

_**between where we were standing **_

_**And your voice was all I heard**_

_**That I get what I deserve**_

_**So give me reason **_

_**to prove me wrong **_

_**to wash this memory clean **_

_**Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes **_

_**Give me reason to fill this hole **_

_**connect the space between**_

_**Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies**_

_**Across this new divide**_

_**-Linkin Park, "New Divide"**_

Chapter 11: New Divide

I pushed around the spaghetti & meatballs on my plate. I promised Alice I would eat and gain back the apparent weight I lost, but I couldn't manage to eat more than one meal a day, if even that. The whole ordeal with Bella happened only a few days ago, yet it seemed like an eternity. I hadn't gone into the store, I wasn't inspired to paint, and any moment I stopped to think, all I could think about was Bella and E.J. and I would just break down. Of course breaking down either resulted in me in tears or me destroying some inanimate object, depending on the memory that had decided to set me off. Then guilt would hit me when I realized that I wasn't trying and I wasn't doing what I had promised Alice.

I called Alice every day so she would know I was alive. She thankfully hadn't shown up unannounced in my apartment. Right now it was a mess. I had taken out my most recent melt down on my living room table and the contents that were now lying all over the floor. Alice would be incredibly disappointed in me. I was still disgusted by my behavior in Jasper's classroom, and I hope E.J. doesn't hate me. My son…I pushed my plate away in disgust. I had reacted so poorly in front of my son that I probably scared the poor child. What was I supposed to do now? I wanted to be with Bella…I really did. But this was huge. She hid our son from me.

I glanced around at the clock on the microwave and it told me it was 1:27pm. I could feel the pain in my chest throbbing. I didn't know where to begin with Bella and E.J. now. All I knew is that I still loved Bella with all my soul…and E.J., my son…I loved him before I even knew he existed.

I threw away the remaining spaghetti, sighing at the fact that it was an accomplishment I at least ate half of it. Alice would be so pissed the next time she came by. I barely made a dent in all the food that she had left for me and regrettably some of the fruit and vegetables were going bad. Not to mention that I just couldn't bring myself to clean up the mess I made in my living room and my bedroom looked like a regular war zone. I would owe Alice BIG time after this.

I slowly made my way down the hallway. I cringed when I looked at the holes I gouged out in the wall with my fists. The small cuts on my knuckles were healing over, and to be honest, I am amazed I didn't break my hand. I don't know why I had such a big apartment. My mother had found it and I guess she had some tiny hope that someday I might fill this apartment with a family of my own. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and just me. I made one of the bedrooms into my studio with all of my art supplies and the other I turned into my music room/office. Other than painting, music was always my outlet. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. Emmett thought for a little while that I might be gay. He also thought that because I didn't show any interest in any girls. Of course they got me completely trashed on my birthday and I opened my big mouth and the truth just spilled from my lips. I always loved Bella…there as no one else for me.

The silence of my office was welcoming to me. I grabbed the rag that sat on a shelf and slowly dusted off my piano, silently apologizing for neglecting the baby grand that had helped me through hard times. When I had finished my apologies I sat and randomly pressed on keys. I was glad everything was still in tune. My ears had perfect pitch and there was nothing worse to me than hearing music played out of tune. Alice's love for "American Idol" featured more than a few moments that made me want to stab out my ears and made me question just what these judges were thinking sometimes.

I slowly started to play and Debussy's "Clair de Lune" started to flow from my fingers. I smiled faintly as I began to lose myself in the tune. "Clair de Lune" was one of my favorites and after I played it the first time for Bella, she was in love with it too. Whenever she asked me to play for her, it was one of her constant requests. Whenever I played it, I couldn't help but get lost in memories.

_Flashback_

"_What are you thinking about?" she asked, snuggling her naked body closer to my chest._

"_Mmmmm…that if you don't stop doing that we're never going to leave this bed..."_

"_Do you have any objections to that Edward?" Bella giggled._

"_None at all," I said as I pulled Bella's body completely on top of mine._

_We laughed for a few minutes and I stroked Bella's hair slowly, reveling in the softness. I couldn't believe that in two weeks, I would be seeing my Bella for the first time. She was quiet now and I felt her soft fingertips tracing circles on my chest. _

"_What are you thinking about love?"_

_If I had truthfully answered Bella about what I was thinking, she would've been blushing beyond belief. I had really been thinking about how it felt just now as we made love in my empty house. My parents were at a 4__th__ of July party in Seattle and Charlie was working tonight. In the empty house it felt like Bella's moans and screams were even louder than before and things just felt so…different this time. _

_I realized Bella still hadn't answer my question and it was then that I felt drops of something wet on my chest._

"_Bella?"_

_She sniffled but didn't answer._

"_Bella, love, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did I-"_

"_I'm so scared Edward…" she whimpered._

"_Bella, I…"_

"_I can't lose you Edward!" she sobbed, "What if something goes wrong? This is a new procedure! What if something happens? I can't lose you!"_

_I was surprised. It wasn't the first time she was really expressing any thoughts about this, but I was having the surgery in 3 days. _

"_Bella, love, I'm having the surgery in 3 days…"_

"_Edward, I…I know this is what you've always wanted, and I want this for you too! I just…I just can't help but think about the 'what ifs'. I can't…if this goes wrong…if this doesn't work…"_

"_Isabella, please…just…" I sighed, "Please believe me. My father has researched everything over and over again and has talked to the doctor performing the procedure in depth. Everything is going to be fine."_

"_But Edward-"_

"_Bella please! I need to do this…I…I need you with me and telling me that this is all going to be okay. That everything is going to work out."_

_I hugged her body to me tightly. I believed that things were going to work, but when I was alone my thoughts would run away from me and I would find myself questioning everything. I asked myself the same questions Bella had just asked me. I felt Bella turn her head and press her lips against my chest over my heart. _

"_I'm sorry Edward," she whispered, "I just…I don't know if I can be strong enough."_

_My hands slid their way up her back and found her cheeks. I pulled her face up and I knew she would know what I wanted. I could feel her tears on my cheeks as she pressed our lips together. I leaned my forehead against hers and softly stroked her cheeks._

"_Bella, love, you've ALWAYS been the strong one. You've been by my side all these years. This is for our future my Bella, and soon I'll be able to take care of you and we'll achieve everything we ever dreamed of."_

_She sighed, "You're so cheesy sometimes."_

"_Ah, but I meant every word."_

_She pressed our lips together one more time before rolling off of me. _

"_Where are you going?" I pouted._

"_WE are going to take a shower and then YOU are going to play the piano for me."_

"_Oh am I now?"_

_I felt her lean over me and whisper in my ear, "I'll make it worth your while."_

_Needless to say, I was up quickly and Bella was pulling me towards the bathroom_

"Clair de Lune" was coming to an end and I didn't even register that I was starting into a new melody. The lullaby I wrote for Bella for her 15th birthday present. It was out of habit that I transitioned into her lullaby. Whenever I would play for her I would end with her favorite "Clair de Lune", and then of course her song. After all these years I never missed a note. It poured through me and all the love in my soul made my body ache for Bella.

_Flashback_

_I held Bella's hand as she led me to my music room across the hall. Per her request, I was not allowed to put a shirt on. I just wore my pajama pants. Bella had told me more than once she liked to stare at my body and something so beautiful should never be kept from her eyes. I told her that in a few weeks that I would be the one staring at her beautiful body. Her hands got warm and I knew she must've been blushing. She let me sit at my piano bench, cuddling up next to me as I flexed my fingers in preparation to play._

_I played us a few patriotic songs, it being July 4__th__ and all, and then I progressed into Bella's favorites. I played her the love theme from "Romeo & Juliet" and of course "Clair de Lune". I ended with her lullaby I wrote for her back on her 15__th__ birthday. As I came to the end of the lullaby I felt Bella placing kisses on my neck as her hands worked their way around the muscles of my back._

_I didn't even try to stifle my moan, "Bella…this is defeating the purpose of the shower…"_

_She continued her ministrations as I played the final notes. My hands easily found her tiny waist and wrapped themselves around her. I could feel myself panting and getting hard as her lips trailed their way up my throat and finally found my lips. We both moaned at the contact. She licked my bottom lip and I greedily sucked her tongue into my mouth._

_We broke away panting, and Bella only moved on to my neck. _

"_Bella…" I moaned._

"_Edward…please…I need you…"_

_I felt Bella stand, her lips never leaving mine, and trail her hands into my pants. I eagerly raised my hips and let Bella work my pants down my legs before sitting again. My hands found her shirt and I pushed it up only to discover that she wasn't wearing a bra._

"_Edward…" she breathed. _

_My hands rubbed and massaged her breasts as I felt her moving in the small space between my legs and the piano to kick off her own pants and underwear. I was hard and waiting for her and I was surprised when she placed her knees on the sides of my hips. This was new. Her hands slowly went to my cheeks raising my head up to hers. She rested her forehead against mine as she moved her hands up to my hair._

"_I love you Edward…so so much."_

"_I love you my Bella…always."_

_Our lips connected as Bella slid her wet heat down over me. Despite the fact that we just had sex no less than an hour ago, we both breathed out heavy sighs. I was fully enveloped by her, my hands holding tightly to her hips. Bella moved to lean back and began our slow rhythm. Her hands found purchase on the keys on my piano but I barely heard the terrible chords they made. Her moans and breathy whispers of my name had all of my attention. I was already panting and returned her calls._

_I kept one hand on her hip as the other moved up her back to help support her as she rocked us. One of her hands gripped the back of my neck and pushed forward, my lips connecting with her soft breast. I let out a moan as I let my lips and tongue explore her flesh. Like a child I searched out her nipple, latching on when I found it, earning myself louder moans of my name and a tighter grip on my hair. I sucked and nipped at her flesh as she ground into me harder and faster._

_I could feel her walls begin to tighten around me and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Her moans of my name echoed off the walls and danced with the notes her hands were pounding out as she rocked us towards the edge._

"_Bella...I…I…close…" was all I managed to get out._

"_Let go…Edward…" she panted in return, driving her hips faster._

_I couldn't hold on any longer and cried out for Bella as I felt myself explode inside of her. I shuddered and my mind was blank as Bella rocked against me a few more times before I felt her walls clench right around me and she screamed out my name. I felt her slump backwards but I pulled her forward into my chest, earning one more loud moan from the both of us._

_We sat together, still connected, panting and trying to calm down and catch our breath. I ran my hands slowly up and down Bella's spine as she ran her hands through my hair._

_I chuckled as Bella placed a kiss on my neck, "Well, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a piano the same way again."_

_End flashbacks_

My fingers pounded down on the keys as I played Bella's lullaby louder than it was ever intended to be played. I could never look at a piano the same way again after that last time Bella and I made love. It hurt to remember, but I continued to play because it hurt me even more to forget. I couldn't forget the sound of her moans, the way my name left her lips, the feeling of her fingers running through my hair…I had to remember.

I thought of everything as I played. I remembered the day we met in 5th grade, the moment I knew I loved her, the first time she let me "see" her, our first kiss, our first Christmas together, her late night escapades through my bedroom window, the moment we agreed we would marry each other, Prom, our first time, my 19th birthday, the 4th of July, her last goodbye…

My fingers were flying furiously across the keys and I slammed my fingers down on the keys when I played the final chords loudly. I didn't realize I was playing so hard as I felt sweat on my brow and I was breathing heavily. I fought what the image of us on the piano would've looked like from my memory as I stood abruptly and turned to pace, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers.

"You still remember every note."

I jumped and slammed my back against the nearest wall. Oh God, was I delirious? Had I eaten so little that I was starting to see things? Bella was standing in my music room. She had dark circles under her eyes, her hair wild, and eyes red. Though in her jeans, blue shirt, and leather jacket she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Blue is quite possibly the most exquisite color against her pale skin. My most recent flashback was not helping a part of my anatomy that had been acting up more than ever in the past few days. I couldn't help but think it: Bella is the most beautiful creature to ever walk this Earth.

"I'm sorry I scared you…I…um…" I watched, completely enthralled, as Bella stuttered, and bit her lower lip, kicking her foot against the ground. I had always imagined this is what she looked like when she was stuttering.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," Bella and I both jumped as Alice waltzed into the room, "You and I are going to have words later about the fact that you never told any of us that you were so freaking talented on the piano."

I pressed myself back a little further against the wall. Alice was going to kill me. She had the fierce momma bear look on her face and I knew she meant business, though this face was rarely ever directed at me. It was almost always towards Emmett. I groaned internally. She was going to kill me now because of this piano business and then bring me back to life so she could kill me again. No doubt she saw the living room and peaked in the kitchen. I just nodded, knowing she would want to talk about other things too.

Bella still stood looking at the floor, kicking her foot against the ground and pretty much set to chew off her bottom lip. Then it hit me: What the hell was she doing her? More so, what the hell was she doing here with Alice?

"Okay…well, I know you two have a lot to say to each other so I'll just go grab my things from my apartment. Bella, why don't you call me later and we'll chat. Maybe grab that bite to eat?"

I think my jaw just about hit the floor. Alice and Bella were hanging out? I looked at Bella and noticed she…scowled? Her look was directed at Alice and all the little pixie did was grin straight back at her. I rolled my eyes but not quick enough before Alice's momma bear look was fixed on me. She pointed to her eyes and then to mine.

"You and I, mister, will be talking about the piano, the mess in the living room, and the fact that not even HALF of the food in the kitchen is gone!"

It was my turn to look at the ground and kick my foot against the floor as I sheepishly apologized to Alice.

"Right, well," Alice chirped, clapping her hands together, "You two need to talk and I'm just holding you up. I trust things will be…civil?"

Alice had her perfect eyebrows raised as she stared down both Bella and I. I nodded as I saw Bella do the same from the corner of my eye.

"Okay then. Bella call me and take your time. I'm in no rush today. And YOU" I jumped as Alice pointed at me, "Lunch tomorrow. 'No' is not an option."

I simply nodded and watched as Alice smiled and pranced out of the room. Seriously, how such a tiny little person could strike the fear of God into men twice her size was beyond me. Neither Bella nor myself moved until we heard the front door of my apartment slam and it was like it snapped us both to attention. The air was thick with something I couldn't quite identify.

We peaked nervously at each other and Bella was blushing that delicious shade of red again when she looked back down at the ground. _Get a grip Edward_. The silence was deafening and I blurted out the first thing I could think of.

"Are you really here?"

Bella looked at me strangely before cracking a small smile, "Yes Edward, I'm really here. Can we…"

And she looked down biting her bottom lip. I felt parts of my anatomy that hadn't reacted to any other woman start to come alive. I cursed mentally and beat these thoughts away. _So not the time Edward!_ Bella really was the most beautiful woman on the planet without even trying. It didn't help that my piano was sitting there between us practically taunting us both. The last time we had sex was the last time I ever played the piano for her. I wondered if she was thinking about the same memory I was. I snapped out of my thoughts when she spoke.

"Can we talk in the living room?" Bella finally finished, looking up at me and biting her lip again. The quick sideways glance she threw towards the piano didn't escape my attention, though I think she hoped that it did.

I nodded and gestured my hand for her to make her way out of this room. I followed closely behind her and took deep breaths to try and get myself under control. I knew that this conversation was one that could either make or break us. I just prayed that this wouldn't be the end for a future that I now so desperately wanted.

I quickly pushed the mess I had made under the table and turned and looked at Bella, rather ashamed that she had seen the mess I had made. Hopefully she wouldn't figure out I had destroyed the contents of the table in a rage when I randomly remembered my 19th birthday.

Bella sat on the edge of my couch. I chose to sit in the armchair next to her. I already couldn't stop staring at her beauty and it would be even worse if I sat down next to her on the couch. When we were walking down the hallway it was the closest I had gotten to her since she left me, and I could faintly smell the scent of strawberries and freesias, the smell that I so distinctly knew as Bella's.

She pulled at the sleeves of her jacket as she sat. She hadn't said anything for the last couple of minutes. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair one last time, trying to build the strength in me to start this conversation.

"So…" I started. That was my genius conversation starter.

Bella looked up at me and bit her lip before she spoke. "Edward…I…"

I watched as the tears welled up in her eyes and being able to see her tears was more devastating than I could have ever imagined. They slowly began to stream down her cheeks as she struggled with what she wanted to say next. I was struggling to stay in my seat and not immediately rush to her side and wipe the tears from her cheeks. Nothing so beautiful ever deserved to look so defeated.

"I…I know it doesn't mean much…but I'm sorry Edward. So so sorry…" she whispered.

My heart clenched in my chest as I watched her bury her face in her hands. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I held myself back.

"Bella, please…please don't cry," I whispered. She just continued to shake her head back and forth and sob into her hands.

"Bella…" I started as I couldn't take it anymore and moved forward, placing my hand on her shoulder.

"No!" she cried out, "Edward I don't deserve your forgiveness! We…I-I-I can't…I can't hurt E.J.!"

I recoiled my hand back like she had burned me. Was this purely about E.J.? I sucked in a deep breath. We had been apart from each other for over 6 years now. The possibility that she didn't feel the same way about me, as I did about her, was never more apparent to me than it was right now. I had a lot of thinking in the past few days, and I definitely knew there was a possibility that she might not want me anymore.

I sat back and cleared my throat, willing myself to remain calm, "Um…right. What should we do?"

"I don't know Edward," Bella whimpered. I heard her mumble something along the lines of "so much for tears and fears" and continue to sob into her hands. I couldn't take seeing her cry anymore and moved to the couch, wrapping my arms around her.

I could feel her body tense and her frail attempts at trying to shake me loose, but I held to her tighter. She whimpered my name in broken sobs as her tiny hands tried to push me away. I pressed her against my chest.

"Please, Bella, no more tears. We can work this out."

I stroked her soft hair and my muscles immediately remembered the feeling of her in my arms and how she fit so perfectly. Her head fit so perfectly under my own even as we sat here on my couch. I held her until her sobs quieted and she gently pushed back from me. I let my arms drop and pulled them back into my lap. Bella wiped her hands across her cheeks and looked down at her feet.

"Edward, I…I don't want you to feel like you HAVE to do anything I-"

"Bella! I WANT to be a part of E.J.'s life. I want to be there for him from now on," I paused as her head shot up to look at me, and then I remembered that maybe SHE might not want that, "Um…if you want me involved that is."

Bella looked at me for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like hours. I could feel my heart aching at the thought that maybe she didn't want me in his life. Maybe she had someone else and the letters from his father and everything were just to show him he did have a father. Did she not want me to be a part of his life at all?

"Of course I want you involved. Edward, I've kept your son from you long enough," Bella said softly.

I let out a huge sigh of relief, "Okay."

We sat in silence for a few more seconds. I could feel the guilt eating away at me and I couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Bella, I need to apologize. I-"

"Edward you have nothing to be sorry for!" she cried, her hand coming to rest on the bare skin of my forearm. We both jumped from the contact and I felt the familiar tingles flowing through my skin at her touch. Bella blushed and pulled her hand away and I automatically missed her warmth.

I cleared my throat before I started again, "Bella, please let me finish. I'm sorry for the way I behaved in the school on Monday. I never wanted to hurt you or E.J. I can't apologize enough for the way I left E.J. I hope you and he can both forgive me. It was completely uncalled for."

"Edward," Bella shook her head, "don't. I can't even begin to imagine how overwhelming that all was for you. How overwhelming this STILL must be for you. You have nothing to apologize to me for, if anything I deserved worse for how I left you and kept him from you an-"

"Isabella!" I shouted to cut off her rambling. She jumped and quickly bit down on her bottom lip.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Bella Bella Bella…" I whispered, running my hands through my hair, "We've had enough of the word 'sorry' for today I think. I want to be a part of E.J.'s life, but I…I'll understand if you've moved on and there's someone else. I-"

"Edward no!" Bella cried, looking at me frantically, "I want you to be a part of E.J.'s life! There is no one else! I've…I've never wanted anyone else in his life…or mine."

Bella quickly looked back down and her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth again. A trait that I was finding all the more attractive every time she did it. She said the last part barely above a whisper and my heart soared at her admission. Did that mean she wanted me in her life?

"Bella I-"

"Edward, I'm the worst type of person. I'm the most selfish person on the planet. I…I want you in E.J.'s life, and I know you want to be a part of his too, but I don't know if I'd have the strength to survive if YOU didn't want ME in yours."

I stared at Bella, dumbfounded. Her words were building up more hope in my heart as my brain screamed at me to not trust her so easily. I couldn't help it though…did that mean she wanted me? That she still cared for me like I cared for her? Here she was, possibly admitting that she wanted me still, but thinking that I didn't want her.

"You're absurd," I laughed out. I didn't mean to laugh, and I instantly regretted it, when Bella jumped off the couch, crying, saying she should go.

"Bella!" I cried out running after her. I blocked her way completely as she tried to push around me. I wrapped up her small frame as she struggled to get past me. I caught her cheeks in my hands and forced her to look at me.

"Edward…please…" she whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"The outside world holds little interest for me without you," I whispered, brushing the tears from her cheeks, "I told you, everything I've achieved in this life has meant nothing to me without you by my side to share it with."

"And E.J.? What about him?" Bella whispered, still needing the reassurance I wanted our son.

"Bella, I loved him before I even knew he existed."

The look in Bella's eyes told me she believed everything I was saying. The chocolate pools of her eyes were filled with relief and I'm sure she felt, just like I did, that a huge burden had just been lifted. Slowly Bella moved and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head against my chest. I let my hands fall and slide around her shoulders.

"Edward," she whispered, "I've missed you so much. Please tell me you mean it? That you mean all of it."

I pulled back slowly and looked into the warm chocolate depths of her eyes. I could feel my own eyes prickling with tears as I saw all the hope and dare I say love she had for me looking back into my own eyes. I hoped my eyes were conveying the same to her as I slowly brought my lips to hers. I couldn't help it. I was absolutely drawn to her perfect plump, soft looking, lips. When our lips connected, I felt complete. The half of my soul that was completed by Bella had returned and I felt like I could breathe again.

It was a short chaste kiss as Bella gasped in shock and I immediately pulled away, closing my eyes.

"Bella! I'm sorry! That was inappropriate of me and I-"

My rant was cut off by Bella's small hand covering my mouth and I sighed in pleasure as I heard her angelic giggle for the first time in years. When I opened my eyes I was met with her soft brown eyes looking up at me and smile on her luminous face, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. She sighed and the smile disappeared, as she removed her hand. This made me furrow my eyebrows.

"Edward," she started as she looped her arm through one of mine and led us back to the couch. I couldn't help but remember this was how she used to walk with me around school. "I didn't mind the kiss at all. And you know that I still care about you, but there's more that you need to hear before we um...venture any further. Before you make up your mind completely."

"Bella," I said as we both sat on the couch, "Nothing could make me change my mind now. Not about E.J. and not about you. I'll always want both of you in my life."

Bella's lips tugged up slightly, "Well, I'm glad you say that about E.J., but after I tell you this, I think you might reconsider about me."

**Well? Yes? No? I know, not exactly the reunion you were probably hoping for, but at least they're talking right? I'm sorry, but in the books they forgave each other way too quickly in my opinion (I'm not complaining cuz I'm all for ExB) and well, I wanted it to be a little more realistic. I hope I didn't disappoint you. And that whole "the outside world holds little interest for me etc." line, thank you Stephenie Meyer for that one. I'm pretty sure it was in ****Twilight.**

**And don't get your undies in a twist, this isn't really a cliffy. You all know what Bella is going to tell Edward. Just go back a chapter and read what she told the pixie if you forgot. Edward's reaction on the other hand, well…I guess that is a cliffy huh? **

**So…next chapter, little E.J. returns and I think I'll throw in some "Daddy & Me" time for him since I was so mean to him earlier. But just because E.J. is with Edward, doesn't mean Edward is back with Bella. And **_**someone **_**is going to drop a huge bomb on the whole gang. I've had this planned for a while. Be patient with me please. :- )**

**Okie dokie, well, thank you just for reading. Not gonna lie, reviews make all authors do a little happy dance and I am no exception. :-P Review if you can. Pretty please? **


	13. Chapter 12: All Fall Down

**Disclaimer: la la la…not mine…la la la…**

**A/N: I'm in quite the good mood. No particular reason actually. I'm totally enjoying the laid-back surroundings of my hometown before I have to venture back to the mainland. Ah paradise, you make me chuckle. Especially when I remember a certain British man and his best friend's reactions when I told them where I was from. Those British boys are just so damn cute and sexy…though I am blaming booze for the majority of their reactions… **

**I realize that I'm in such a good mood as I write that this chapter might not have come out as intended. Hopefully my happy vibe didn't disrupt it. This is a rather…complicated chapter.**

**Thank you to Homebody, xXiStillLoveHimXx, and ravengoddes (welcome aboard!). Your reviews made me smile. Sorry for keeping you in suspense and trusting me. :-P**

**And ajenc, I feel a little weird posting this without your feedback, but I hope life isn't getting too crazy for you!**

**Anyone else who is just reading, thank you just for that! Seeing that people are reading make me smile. Thanks for giving my little story a chance. :-) **

**I have a feeling you will probably like this chapter (in my opinion, it's cute) but will be HELLA mad at me by the end...I warned you...and I apologize in advance.**

**P.S. Woo-hoo! "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince" at midnight tonight! I'm excited! :-) Too bad there will be no Rob...**

_**Lost 'till you're found**_

_**Swim 'till you drown**_

_**Know that we all fall down**_

_**Love 'till you hate**_

_**Strong 'till you break**_

_**Know that we all fall down**_

_**If ever your world starts crashing down**_

_**Whenever your world starts crashing down**_

_**If ever your world starts crashing down**_

_**That's where you'll find, find me**_

_**-OneRepublic, "All Fall Down"**_

Chapter 12: All Fall Down

As I leaned against the wall outside of Jasper's classroom, I ignored the stares from the moms who were waiting also. They were like your stereotypical rich housewives, waiting for their children at this preppy private school. Most of them were being less than subtle in their flirting with me. One even had the audacity to tell me her husband was out of town and she could easily find a sitter to watch our kids while we quote, "got to know each other." She had that suggestive tone and her breath told me that she had enjoyed one too many martinis or something before showing up here. Good lord I hope she didn't drive. When I didn't respond and flinched away from her touch she got the hint. When I looked around the hallway I noticed the other mothers divert their gazes and also that I was the only dad. Great. It needed to be 2:30 right now.

I couldn't say that I was particularly happy to be in my current situation as it was. And I wasn't only thinking about these crazy moms in the hallway. Bella and I had talked. My heart rejoiced at the fact that she still cared about me and wanted me in E.J.'s life, but when she told me the truth behind why she left, and everything Charlie was involved in, I couldn't help the anger that I felt, and truth be told, I was a little angry at her.

She told me she was a coward and too scared to come back, afraid that I wouldn't want her, afraid I wouldn't want E.J. As much as I hated to think it, those excuses of hers were getting real old real quick. I didn't know what else I could do now to make her believe that I wanted both she and E.J. in my life. We did at least part on civil terms. Bella begged me to think things over now that I knew everything. I couldn't deny that I was a little upset with her, and seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing I caused it was excruciating.

I told her, "I'll think about things, but nothing will change me wanting to be a part of E.J.'s life." I left her completely out and I could see the hope in her eyes almost disappear and become replaced with hurt. I tried to apologize and make her understand that I just needed more time to digest everything I learned about her, but she quickly cut me off.

"It's okay Edward," she said, "you don't have to explain anything else. Take your time. I'll figure out something. Maybe you can spend some time with E.J. this week?"

I simply nodded, numb from the hurt that I caused to be present in her eyes. I knew in my heart that I never wanted to cause that look in her eyes again, but there was still so much to sort out when it came to Bella and I.

So despite agreeing that I would spend some time with E.J. this week, I was still surprised when Bella called me last night asking if I would pick E.J. up from school today. Today was a Friday and she told Jasper that I would be picking him up and I was being added to E.J.'s approved list for pick-up after school. Bella said she wasn't telling E.J. and she wanted to surprise him. I was admittedly a little nervous. Did he even want to see me? The last time we were in this very room I walked out the door and left him sobbing on the floor.

In addition to my anxiety over E.J.'s reaction to me picking him up, Bella asked that I entertain him until 7pm before bringing him home for a dinner that HE had asked her to put together. E.J. had asked Bella if he could hang out with his Mommy, Daddy, Aunty Rosie, Uncle Emmett, Miss Alice, and Mr. Whitlock. Apparently, he had something to show us all. Bella told me Jasper was hesitant about it because E.J. was his student, but Alice assured Bella that they would be there. I could just see the Alice Brandon puppy dog pout working in overdrive last night convincing Jasper it was okay.

When Bella called I also brought up the letters from E.J's "Daddy" in Paris. I had never been to France, hell, I hadn't even been out of the country yet. When I asked her what I should say in case he started asking questions, she told me to be honest about me being an artist. She said that would satisfy his curiosity enough. As for the whole me being in Paris thing…she said we'd work that out later. This whole letter charade was doing nothing for my anxiety. I didn't want to slip up and have E.J. realize that all this time his "Daddy" wasn't real. Well…I'm real, but not the Daddy that was supposedly in Paris all this time. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Though Bella and I had finally talked and were possibly on the path to reconciliation, there was still so much shit that had to get worked out. And not going to lie, this whole lying to E.J. business did not sit well with me.

The bell rang and I jumped. Doors in the hallway sprang open and children of all ages began to excitedly flow out. I kept myself smashed against the wall as children screamed and squealed in that way that only elementary school age children do. Thank goodness all the mothers were leaving. It took a while, but the traffic in the hallways died down, and that's when I realized that E.J. was nowhere to be seen. I panicked. Did I just lose my own son?! I quickly ran into Jasper's open door and found him kneeling down and thankfully helping my son get his little grey coat on. It was probably somewhere around 62 degrees outside when I left to come pick him up. It was at least a little sunny outside. My thick black jacket, long sleeve white shirt, and jeans kept me warm enough. I only hoped E.J. would be warm enough.

"Is my mommy coming today Mr. Whitlock? Or is Ms. Angela coming?" E.J.'s voice sounded disappointed when he asked if Angela was going to pick him up. His lower lip stuck out in a slight pout as he looked at the floor.

"Oh I think someone better is coming today E.J." Jasper chuckled as he took notice of me standing in the doorway.

I couldn't help but smile as I saw E.J. look up at Jasper and his little forehead furrow in confusion. Good lord he really did look like a miniature version of me. Well, in comparison to pictures my mother had shown me of when I wa-

OH. CRAP. My parents. I had let them known I was alive and not dead in a brief text message, but I had yet to tell them they were grandparents. I slapped my hand to my face and dragged it across. Great, just one more thing I had to think about.

I heard Jasper clear his throat and I looked just in time to see E.J. whip his head around and lock eyes with mine.

"DADDY!" he squealed and I had all of two seconds to prepare myself before my son catapulted himself, quite impressively, into my arms that barely caught him. He quickly pulled himself up, with my help as I tried to get a better grip on him, and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! I missed you!" my son shouted pretty much directly into my ear.

"I missed you too son," I whispered as I hugged him.

E.J. turned in my arms back towards Jasper, "Mr. Whitlock, Daddy is picking me up!"

Jasper smiled and I felt myself smile too. E.J.'s excited and overjoyed emotions were too strong to not affect either Jasper or myself.

"Are you ready to go E.J.?" I asked, as I looked and made sure he had his backpack with him. A Superman backpack. Very nice Bella.

"Yes Daddy!" E.J. squealed again. Just then Jasper's cell phone rang and I chuckled. Justin Timberlake's "My Love" played and that could only mean it was one person.

"Darlin'!" Jasper answered quickly. E.J. giggled and I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

"Yes, I said we'll go…oh…sure, Edward is right here."

Jasper held the phone out to me and I took it as E.J. yelled, "Hi Miss Alice!"

I heard Alice's bell like laughter as I put the phone to my ear.

"What can I do for you Miss Alice?" I asked, smiling as my son laughed.

"Edward, what are you doing now before we all head over to Bella's?"

"Oh," I paused, "I uh…was going to ask E.J. if he wanted to get a snack and then take him to Central Park. Maybe the library or something before we headed home."

"Can we get bagels Daddy?" E.J. asked excitedly, gripping my neck tighter. I smiled and nodded as Alice laughed.

"Do you mind if I meet up with you guys for a bit? Jasper has some work to finish up at school and then was going to head home. We can grab him before we head over to Bella's?"

"Sure Alice that sounds fine. You want to meet in Central Park at the Alice in Wonderland statue? I do know that's your favorite."

Alice laughed again, "Well, only because the name is so great."

I rolled my eyes…Alice, of course.

"Okay, let me say bye to Jazzy and I'll see you guys in a few."

"Sure Alice, bye."

I handed the phone back to Jasper and E.J. had my full attention again.

"Can we go to H&H Bagels Daddy? That's where Mommy takes me. That's my favorite."

I nodded. I knew that place well. It was actually one of my favorites also. We would need a taxi to get there, but the walk to the Alice in Wonderland statue was a short one by New Yorker standards. We waited a few more seconds as Jasper finished up with Alice. We told him we'd see him tonight at dinner and he nodded, telling us to have fun and not let Alice get into too much trouble.

I put E.J. down as we walked out to the curb to find a taxi. Once his feet were on the ground his little hand found mine and latched on, not letting go once. It was surprising to me at first and truth be told, I was shocked that he was taking to me being here so well. He didn't even say anything about the last time I saw him. I prayed it wouldn't come up. I don't think I could live with myself if I saw that hurt and pain in his little eyes again.

After picking up an onion bagel and cream cheese, I couldn't help but watch in fascination as my little son devoured his half of the bagel. I picked at mine but didn't even eat a third of it. I really needed to get my appetite back. While I had gained back some of the apparent weight I had lost, I still wasn't back up to where I had been. I continued to watch as E.J. happily munched on his bagel. Everything he did I was transfixed by and was committing to memory. We hadn't said much in the taxi and he hummed a little tune to himself in the car as we rode over. He still clutched my hand tightly.

When he was done he announced that it was time to go meet Miss Alice. I had almost forgotten. I was so immersed in taking in every little detail about my son, I had forgotten about meeting Alice in Central Park. I held E.J.'s hand tightly all the way into the park. Though it was a nice day it wasn't very crowded. It was a Friday and I assumed people had other plans for their weekends. I let E.J.'s hand go as he skipped a few feet in front of me, picking up random leaves and sticks to examine, but never straying far away from me. I briefly wondered what his childhood was like for him. Watching him was like living a childhood I never had when I was blind. I watched as he picked up a leaf and looked closely at the different oranges and reds and how they mixed together on the one surface. He was making little noises and he skipped along with a stick and was talking quietly to himself in his own game or imaginary world. I never had that experience as a child, and I was beyond grateful that he had been born healthy.

The Alice in Wonderland statue came into view and I was surprised there were no other children playing on it. Every time I had come by it was always filled with children climbing all over and playing their games. Today however, the only space occupied was the pixie sitting on a mushroom cap.

"MISS ALICE!" E.J. shouted as he ran excitedly to her. I was a little surprised. By my understanding, E.J. had only met Alice once. I guess she sure made an impression on him, as she does with everyone. I chuckled as Alice stood and met E.J.'s hug full on. Their height difference wasn't very big and I was positive the pixie knew what I was laughing at when she stuck her tongue out at me.

Though the weather was cooling down and it was getting darker, E.J. insisted on playing on the statue for a while. Alice and I talked. We did go to our lunch the day after Bella and I talked. I was annoyed with Alice for tricking Bella into coming to my apartment, but then the pixie asked if I would've ever contacted Bella to talk to her. She had me there. In all honesty, I probably would've waited for Bella to make the first move and contact me and save me from the darkness that was my life without her.

It was ironic to me in these past six years that I had a surgery to fix my eyesight and when I regained it, I felt like I was living in darkness without Bella by my side. I wasn't sure what Bella would think about my "dark times". We had yet to talk about what I had been doing in the past six years.

I sat on top of a mushroom near the Mad Hatter's face as E.J. was running around on the ground, playing some sort of game of tag with Alice. I watched as the last rays of light were disappearing behind the buildings surrounding Central Park. As disappointed as E.J. might be to leave, I wanted to get out of the park before it was dark. To my surprise he didn't complain and when I jumped off one last little mushroom, E.J. quickly ran to my side and latched his tiny hand in mine. I couldn't help but smile at the feeling.

"Wow E.J." Alice said as she bounced along on my other side, "you're a fast little guy! I had a hard time catching you!"

I laughed and smiled as I looked down at my son. Perhaps Alice's hyperactivity had finally met its match in my 5 year old son.

E.J. bit his bottom lip before he spoke, "I wanted to be just like Daddy. Daddy said one of his favorite things to do is go running. You run around your neighborhood in Paris right Daddy?"

I quickly looked at Alice, wide eyed. Thank the lord I had told her about the whole letter situation. I was even more thankful that she already heard when she had talked to Bella. Between Bella and I, we had warned all our friends about the letters and anything E.J. might say about me being in Paris all this time. Rosalie and Jasper took it the roughest. Apparently Rosalie was against the whole letter idea from the beginning and Jasper, well, he felt all sorts of conflicting emotions both as my friend and E.J.'s teacher. They both agreed though, for the sake of E.J., that they wouldn't say anything.

"I do love running E.J." I said as I turned back to him and smiled, "next time, I promise to play with you and Miss Alice."

"YAY!" E.J. shouted. He began to skip along and Alice gladly joined him. He let go of my hand and the two ran off a little further ahead, laughing and shouting at each other. I held his Superman backpack on my shoulder as I strolled after them. Alice was my best friend here in the city, and she never gave up on me. Not even when I was at my lowest point. As she said, she was hell bent on getting me the happiness that I deserved. In the end, I really couldn't be all that mad at her for tricking Bella into coming to my apartment. It had gotten the ball rolling to at least where we are today. And that was definitely better than where I was a week ago.

E.J. had turned around and was running back towards me when I saw his shoe catch on some uneven patch of the concrete and he tumbled forward. My heart lurched in my chest and I immediately sprinted forward without thinking. I was met with a loud cry of "DADDY!" and I scooped him up right away. Alice raced up not two seconds later. She took E.J.'s backpack from my shoulder as I sat on a nearby bench to assess the damage. Alice had a huge purse with her and she quickly began rummaging through it. What women carried in these giant bags, I'll never know, but thank goodness this pixie carried a mini first aid kit.

Fat tears were rolling down E.J.'s cheeks as he sniffled and bit his lower lip. I couldn't help but think that while he might look exactly like me, there was so much of Bella inside of him. The way he bit his lower lip was exactly like Bella, and though I had never witnessed it with my own eyes, I knew Bella was very clumsy.

I hugged E.J. to my chest with one arm as I tried to coax him to let me see his hands with the other.

"Hey buddy," I whispered as I rubbed his shoulder, "Let me see your hands."

His whole body tensed, "No! Blood makes me sick! Just like Mommy!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. In 11th grade I remember sitting down in Spanish class the period before lunch and hearing Ben come rushing in out of breath before Senora Mendoza started. He said Angela caught him in the hall and said she had to take Bella to the nurse because Bella fainted in Biology class during blood typing. Apparently Bella is slightly hemophobic. A trait that apparently has been passed on to our son.

"Okay E.J. Close your eyes tightly. No peeking okay?" E.J. nodded and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Here Edward," Alice said as she held out some antibacterial wipes and those big rectangle band aids. I had no idea why she had those in her purse, but I certainly wasn't complaining now.

"Thank you Alice," I whispered as she crouched down next to E.J.

"Okay E.J. Open up you hands and let Daddy see."

E.J. sniffled and slowly uncurled his little hands, his eyes still squeezed shut. His palms had skidded across the pavement and he had little scratches up his palms and wrists. Thankfully none of them were deep or bleeding that badly. I slowly cleaned the dirt out of his cuts, and was extremely thankful Alice had the antibacterial wipes that didn't sting. I quickly covered his cuts with the large band aids before telling him he could open his eyes.

"There we go son, all better."

E.J. was sniffling and wiped away his remaining tears before he pouted softly, "You have to kiss it better like Mommy does Daddy."

I couldn't help but smile and I'm sure Alice was holding in a very loud _"Awwwwww"_ in her head. I gently kissed the spots covered by the bandages and E.J. instantly smiled.

"Now I'm all better Daddy."

I couldn't help but smile now too, "all better E.J."

We were running a bit late so I stood up with E.J. and held me hand out to him.

"I can't hold your hand Daddy," E.J. sniffled, "it hurts."

Tears looked like they were going to spill over his little cheeks again and I don't think my heart could stand it if I saw tears in his eyes again. My poor heart almost had a heart attack when I saw him trip. I don't know how parents survived this. I wanted nothing more than for my son to be safe and healthy. I groaned…parents…I still had to tell mine that they were now grandparents.

"How about I carry you E.J.? We are running a little late to go meet Mr. Whitlock."

"Piggy back me Daddy!" E.J. shouted, his tears and hurting hands forgotten. I quickly scooped him up and he laughed and held on tightly. Alice took his little Superman backpack and swung it on her back. The straps fit her perfectly and I snorted when I saw.

"Daddy snorted Miss Alice!" E.J. giggled.

I blushed as Alice laughed, "I heard! That's so rude Edward! No doubt you were making fun of my new little backpack? I'll have you know, Superman is my favorite hero."

"Mine too Miss Alice! Mine too!" E.J. shouted, his little legs kicking in my arms.

I laughed again. I wanted to tell our son, _"Yes son, he's her favorite, but not for the same reason as you." _Alice loves that show "Smallville" and apparently she and Jasper have a list of 5 celebrities that they can each drool over and the other can't get mad about it. Tom Welling is her #2. All I know is her #1 is some guy she used to drool over when he was a "movie surfer" or whatever she called him on the Disney channel and now was in some big vampire movie or something. Why that guy? I have no idea.

By the time we caught a taxi back to Alice & Jasper's building, it was around 6:15. Alice went to go change quickly as Jasper, E.J., and I watched Sports Center. Jasper was a very talented baseball player in high school and college, but a knee injury in his junior year of college ended his hopes of playing professionally. They were talking a little bit about the end of the Major League season. Jasper was still irritated that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays were in the World Series. Jasper was a big Texas Rangers fan and that's how he and I bonded. Our love for the teams from the crappy American League West division. New York City might be home now, but he and I would never be fans of the pinstripes. I was still a die hard Seattle Mariners fan.

"So what do you think Edward? You think Griffey Jr. is gonna go back to Seattle?"

"I hope so," I sighed as E.J. doodled on a piece of paper, "He might not be what he used to, but they could use the moral boost I'm sure."

Jasper chuckled and we were both surprised when E.J. said, "Ichiro Suzuki is my favorite. Mommy says he's going to be in the Hall of Fame."

"Well what do you know Edward? Like father like son," Jasper chuckled.

"I want to be just like Daddy when I grow up Mr. Whitlock," E.J. said proudly, making my own heart swell, "but sorry Daddy. I don't think I want to be an artist and live in another country. That's too far from you and Mommy. Can I be a baseball player instead?"

I couldn't help but laugh, and I heard Jasper and the tinkling laughter of Alice returning to the living room. My son was just too fricking cute for his own good. Every second I was in his presence I loved him more and more.

"You can be whatever you want son," I said as I scooped him up and swung him around in circles. He laughed and squealed "Daddy!" as Alice screamed at me to not break anything. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so genuinely happy.

As we all walked to Bella's apartment, E.J. walked with Jasper, asking him all sorts of questions about playing baseball. I overheard him telling Jasper that he had yet to attend an actual game and I immediately committed that to memory for next season. I'd have to look and see when the Seattle Mariners would be coming to play either the Mets or the Yankees in 2009.

"Edward?" Alice said to me softly as we walked. I looked over at her, unable to keep the smile off my face.

Alice smiled back brightly, no doubt enjoying my change in mood as well. "Edward, do you know why E.J. had Bella put together this dinner? It's not his birthday."

"No idea," I shrugged, but inside I frowned. I didn't even know when E.J.'s birthday was. I had so much to learn about my own son while I tried to sort out my situation with Bella. Plus I had the whole issue of explaining everything to my parents. The doorman at Bella's building recognized E.J. immediately.

"Mr. Cameron! This is my Daddy!" E.J. exclaimed loudly. Mr. Cameron, or rather, Cameron was an older man, maybe in his 40's. He was a tall man with grey hairs slowly filling in his head of dark brown. For an older man, he was definitely in good shape. I guess you had to be sometimes to be a doorman. He stretched out his hand,

"Cameron Jones. Nice to finally meet you…"

"Edward," I said, taking his hand, "Edward Cullen."

"Well, Mr. Cullen, I'm glad to finally meet you. Will you be staying long?"

"Oh…um, just for dinner."

Cameron laughed, "No sir! Will you be staying here long before returning to Paris?"

My eyes bugged out of my head. How was I supposed to answer that in front of E.J.?

Thank the lord above because Bella came out of the elevator at that moment and E.J.'s excited scream for his Mommy left Cameron's question unanswered and forgotten. I briefly overheard Jasper and Alice exchanging pleasantries with Cameron, but I was too lost in my daze to really be hearing them. I was too focused on Bella.

Every time I have seen her, she has left me absolutely speechless. Even though she was bending down and fussing over the bandages on E.J.'s hands, she was so beautiful. Tonight she was still in jeans and shirt, but all the cuts and fits were tighter and showing off the luscious curves that were reeking havoc on my dreams. Her jeans were black, but they looked practically painted on her impossibly long looking legs. The blue shirt she wore was simple and long sleeved, but it clung to her body in all the right places. I shifted myself uncomfortably. Now was not the time for any "problems" to be popping up.

"Edward," Bella called me softly, and I snapped out of my daze. She was looking at me with a small smile on her face. I didn't even realize that Alice and Jasper were standing behind Bella and E.J., trying in vain to hide the smirks on their faces as Cameron chuckled behind me.

"I guess it's been a while since you've seen your gorgeous wife huh Mr. Cullen?"

If I thought I was blushing before, that was nothing compared to how red I was now as I nodded, and the deep crimson color of Bella's face as she quickly turned and pressed the button for the elevator.

The ride up to her top floor penthouse was awkward. Bella was still red and looking down and I could tell my cheeks were still hot. E.J. was telling Bella all about the bagel from H&H when Alice snorted. We all looked at her for a second before she burst out in laughter.

"Come on you guys!" she barely got out between laughs, "That was so cute!"

Jasper chuckled and E.J. giggled simply because Alice and Jasper were. Bella and I looked at each other sheepishly, timid smiles on both our faces. If E.J. only knew how awkward downstairs had really just been.

Bella led us into her impressive two story penthouse. She told us that the top floor included the master bedroom, bathroom, and an outdoor terrace with a patio set and hot tub. Downstairs were E.J.'s room, a guest room, bathroom, Bella's office, her mini gym/laundry room, kitchen, dining room, and living room. It was simply amazing. I guess this is what being a best selling author got you in New York City's Upper East Side.

Emmett and Rosalie stood up in the living room. E.J. immediately ran over and was scooped up in Emmett's large arms.

"Uncle Emmie! Aunty Rosie!" E.J. was telling them all about our afternoon together.

"Can I take your jacket?" Bella asked me softly from behind.

I carefully slipped the jacket off and turned, smiling, "Thank you Bella. Dinner smells delicious by the way."

My senses were immediately assaulted when the front door had opened. I think I knew what she had prepared but I wasn't quite sure.

"It's beef stroganoff and for dessert there's berry cobbler. Your favorite," Bella whispered softly.

My throat closed up a little bit as she whispered. That was the first meal she ever cooked for me. She had prepared it for us on our two year anniversary when we were 15 years old. She told me she went through numerous batches before she settled on the recipes she liked the best and tweaked them to perfection. It was the same meal that I tried to duplicate in the past six years when I would wallow in my misery around any date that specifically reminded me of Bella.

"Thank you Bella…" I whispered, but my voice cracked anyway. I looked down and my cheek tingled as Bella's small hand cupped my cheek. I slowly brought my head up to look into her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes looked back at me and I noticed the tears that were gathering there. I also glanced around and noticed we were now alone in the living room. I could hear Alice, Jasper, and Emmett in the kitchen, and Rosalie and E.J. in his bedroom putting his stuff away.

My heart was swelling in my chest with so many emotions. The meal she prepared meant so much to me, and it was so special to Bella and I. She still cared for me even after all of our time apart from each other. She trusted me enough to let me back into my son's life and spend the day with him today. And even after I told her I needed to think about "us", she was still here, being the strong one in the relationship and putting on her own "happy face" for our son. She was still the selfless, loving, caring Bella that she had always been. She opened her mouth to say something but she was cut off by Emmett.

"Hey Bells! I'm starving! Let's eat!"

Bella pulled her hand away and I immediately missed the heat. She rolled her eyes and yelled at Emmett, "Five more minutes won't kill you!"

"By the way, you're very welcome Edward," Bella whispered before she headed off to the kitchen. Just then E.J. came tearing back into the living room.

"DADDY! Piggy back please!" I quickly scooped up E.J. and threw him on my back as Rosalie came up behind him. She softly placed a hand on my arm.

"Edward," she whispered, "for what it is worth, I'm so sorry. More than you'll ever know."

I nodded, silently acknowledging that she was forgiven. It had taken me weeks to understand it, but Emmett is her husband and I know she'll do anything for him. Bella and Emmett are the only family each other has left, so I can also now understand why Emmett never told me either. When you love someone and care for them deeply, you'll do anything to protect them and make them happy. I was friends with Rose and Emmett, but in the end, I couldn't be too offended that they chose Bella over me. They were family. It was hard for me to accept, but Alice helped me see it during our lunch the other day.

"Fatherhood suits you," Rosalie whispered again, this time smiling. True, Rosalie was incredibly…tenacious, some people might mistake it as bitchy, but she was a softie at heart. Exactly like Emmett. That was perhaps maybe why they matched with each other so well.

"Thank you Rosalie," I said, smiling and truthfully meaning it. She had been fighting on my side when I didn't even know it. We came into the dinning room and Bella had set up quite the feast. The beef stroganoff was accompanied by a large salad and garlic bread (apparently E.J.'s request) and Jasper was pouring the adults wine while Bella got E.J. his milk. I let E.J. down off my back and he skipped over to his chair where Bella was standing. Bella's large round oak table was surrounded by eight chairs. I was to be seated between Alice and E.J.

Emmett stopped me on the way to my chair, "Edward can I have a brief word."

I nodded and followed Emmett into the kitchen. After my epiphany about family and doing anything for them, I found myself very ready to make up with Emmett and Rosalie.

Emmett rubbed the back of his neck and he looked nervous. I knew what was coming.

"Edward, man…look, I'm sorry. I know it means little but I-"

"Emmett," I said, holding up my hand and cutting him off, "It may have taken me a while, but I can see now why you did it. Family comes first and I admire that loyalty. There's nothing to forgive. Let's just…look towards the future."

Emmett's face lit up with that boyish grin of his and he clapped a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't help but wince a little.

"I've missed you Ed!"

I couldn't help but chuckle, "I've missed you guys too Em. I really have."

Dinner was a pleasant affair. E.J. captured all of our attention, even Jasper's, as he told of his week at school. We all laughed when E.J. mentioned his friend getting in trouble with Mr. Whitlock. It was one of the few times I've ever seen Jasper look uncomfortable. He's always the calm and collected one. After all the berry cobbler was eaten and we were all rather stuffed, Alice finally asked the question we were all curious about.

"So E.J., why did you want your Mommy to plan this dinner for us all?"

I glanced down at my son sitting to my right, very curious to the answer of this question. Bella was also looking down at him expectantly.

"Come on Champ," Emmett urged, "Was it so you can tell us all you think Mr. Whitlock is the worst teacher ever?"

"Emmett!" Rosalie shouted and quickly smacked him over the back of the head. I glanced at Alice to my left and saw the momma bear face coming out. Jasper was just shaking his head.

"I'm just joking guys! Geez…" Emmett muttered. We all chuckled and rolled our eyes. Had we been laughing any louder, we all would've completely missed what E.J. said.

"I don't want to lie anymore…"

We all were silent immediately and I'm pretty sure everyone was feeling the same exact thing: confused.

"What are you talking about baby?" Bella asked, pulling him to her side. She looked up at me, asking with her eyes if I knew what he was talking about but all I could do was shrug my shoulders.

"Mr. Whitlock says its not good to lie and I don't want to lie anymore."

Everyone turned to look at Mr. Whitlock, now all of us expecting Jasper to have the answers to what the hell was going on. Jasper cleared his throat before speaking.

"I did say that E.J. Why don't you um, tell us what you don't want to lie about anymore?"

Leave it to Jasper to slip in and out of teacher mode so easily. How he handled a classroom of crazy little kindergarteners was beyond me. He did have this calming affect on everyone it seemed.

"I know about the letters," E.J. said in a small voice, "The ones from Daddy. Mommy writes them."

I saw Bella pull back and gasp loudly, "What did you say E.J.?"

"I know you write them and send them to me Mommy."

I was stunned. How long has he known that it wasn't really his "Daddy" writing him letters? How did he know it was Bella? Emmett a hand slapped against his forehead, his eyes shut tightly. Alice was looking down at the table, a hand clasped over her mouth. Jasper also looked completely stunned. Rosalie on the other hand, seemed to have an almost knowing smirk on her face. Bella was set to bite her bottom lip off.

"How did you find out?" Bella asked softly. There was no point in trying to lie to him. Eventually this would have become an issue.

"Well…" E.J. said softly, and sniffled, tears starting to run down his cheeks.

"E.J., son, don't be scared," I said, wrapping an arm around him, "you can tell us. No one is going to be mad."

He nodded as he sniffled some more, "It…well…it's just that Mommy always looked so happy when I would read my new letter for her every week. I didn't want Mommy to look sad anymore. When the letters started coming last year, she was also so happy. I thought that you were really there Daddy."

That hit me hard and I felt guilty. Bella started to cry, "I…I thought I hid it so well. I never thought he could tell when I was sad."

"You looked sad all the time Mommy. Especially at the end of January and June. I wanted to keep pretending with the letters so you wouldn't be sad anymore Mommy. But then Mr. Whitlock told us in school this week that it was never okay to lie so I had to tell you the truth."

That only made Bella cry harder and I was still stunned. January was when our anniversary was and June was my birthday. E.J. was so much smarter than any of us probably ever thought he was.

"How long have you known that the letters weren't really from me?" I asked softly.

E.J. looked up at me, teary eyed, and it was breaking my heart just to see him crying.

"Since the beginning of August. Mommy was writing something in the kitchen on an envelope. She stuck it in her purse and ran back to get something from her room before she and I were going to get ice cream. I saw the letter sticking out had my name on it. I looked at it and noticed it was from you Daddy. I thought Mommy was going to surprise me with it at the ice cream shop, but then Mommy dropped it into the mailbox thingy that takes the mail away. I didn't understand. Especially when I got the same letter two days later."

Oh sweet lord, our son is a genius.

"That weekend, Mommy said she had to work and had a deadline, so I spent the night with Aunty Rosie and Uncle Em. We met Mr. Whitlock the week before when I visited the kindergarten room. Aunty Rosie took me to get ice cream before going home to Mommy on Sunday. When we were walking back towards home, I saw Mr. Whitlock waiting at a taxi. I wanted to yell hello but then Daddy walked out of the building and to the taxi with Mr. Whitlock. I pointed them out to Aunty Rosie and she gasped and almost dropped her ice cream cone. I thought about the letter from Mommy's purse. Daddy had wrote he was traveling to Italy at the end of the month, but that was wrong because I just saw Daddy in the city with Mr. Whitlock. That was when I knew Mommy was sending them."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Emmett said, directing his gaze to Rosalie.

She smirked, "I always told you two that this letter thing was a bad idea. Especially with Edward being right here in the city. You all know E.J. is a smart kid and he has a PICTURE of Edward. Of course he knows what his Daddy looks like. And New York City might not seem like it, but it is a small place."

Bella finally broke her silence and at the same time her tears spilled over her cheeks. "Oh E.J., baby, I'm so sorry! I-I-I should have never done this!"

I watched as E.J. hugged Bella back tightly, not saying anything as Bella sobbed. I didn't know what to do. E.J. had known for three months now that his Daddy in Paris wasn't real, and that his real Daddy was right here in the city. The thought made me sick to my stomach. What was he thinking? Did he think we were really trying to deceive him? Oh God, did he think that I didn't truly want him all this time?

"I um…I think we better get going," Emmett started, "I think the three of you have a lot to talk about."

Bella looked up and nodded, still crying as E.J. now clung to her, sobbing. Emmett and Rosalie said their quick goodbyes to Bella and E.J. and then myself. Alice and Jasper said quick goodbyes to Bella and E.J. before I walked them to the door.

"Edward," Alice said, "You call me when you leave here. Remember we're here to help you. I just want to make sure you're okay when all is said and done."

"I'll call you when I get home Alice," I said rather wearily. This was a heavy bomb of information that E.J. just dropped on us. I wasn't sure what to think at all.

_APOV_

I felt uneasy about leaving Edward with Bella and E.J., but Emmett was right and they did have an awful lot to talk about. Jasper and I got ready for bed but instead of lying in bed we snuggled up together on the couch. Based on what happened tonight would either negate the need for the next step of my plan or it would make the next step of my little plan very crucial.

"So what did you think about E.J.'s story?" Jasper finally asked me.

I shook my head. That was some heavy information he dropped on all of us. Poor Bella. She looked so defeated. I could tell she was being like Edward, trying to put on a "happy face" and show everyone that she was okay, but she really wasn't. And then to be hit with E.J.'s news that he found out Bella was writing the letters from his "Daddy"? Bella looked absolutely crushed while Edward seemed stunned into near silence.

"I don't know Jazzy. This is just such a complicated web of stories. I just hope everything can get sorted out. Do you think they'll tell E.J. the truth about everything?"

Jasper was quiet for a second before he nodded, "Yes Darlin' I think they will. Well, I'm sure some things will get sugar coated, but overall, I'm sure the truth is going to come out."

"What about Bella and Edward? What do you think is going to happen with them?"

Jasper sighed, "Honestly Darlin', I don't know. This is some big news. I don't think Edward will be mad at Bella for this. You told me she explained everything to you."

Just then my phone rang and I launched myself off the couch and over to my purse.

"Edward!" I cried, "Is everything okay?"

Jasper was at my side in an instant. Edward's words caused my knees to give out.

"Edward! No! You promised me Edward! It's not ov-"

But I never got to finish my sentence. He hung up on me. I felt so helpless and frustrated for the first time during this whole ordeal. One huge step forward, then several huge steps back.

"Darlin'! What is it? What did he say? Is he okay?"

I couldn't help it as tears started to pour over my cheeks for the first time in a very long time. I had a plan that I was so certain would work, but now it just seemed like it would just lead to this round about game of progressing forward and then getting knocked back on the ass.

"They got into a fight," I sniffled, "he said it's over."

**Yes? No? DON'T HATE ME PLEASE! I know I know…Edward and Bella were so close…but then E.J. dropped that whole bomb on them. Don't worry, I'll go over what happened in the next chapter. I can honestly say I really like the beginning of this chapter. And I apologize for the cliffy. Trust me, I have this all planned out and am about half done with the next one.**

**Did you see E.J. knowing about the letters coming? I'm not sure how I feel about E.J.'s story. It's been a pretty long time since I was in kindergarten, but little kids are hella smart and as ajenc has pointed out to me, they are also HELLA resilient. I will not delve deeply into E.J.'s psyche and though he's a huge part of this ExB story, I won't be focusing on E.J. all THAT much. What did you think though? Did I write him okay?**

**And I hadn't planned to end with Alice originally, but she demanded some time. Seeing her crumble here at the end is big to me. I always felt like she must be under so much pressure in the books from the Cullen family relying so heavily on her ability and everything. Hence, our little pixie shows a tiny bit of distress at the end here. **

**Well…next chapter, we'll find out what went down between Edward, Bella, and E.J. as well as some other surprises. I think you all will be pleased.**

**Thank you for sticking with me and reading! Every author does a happy dance when they get reviews and I am no exception. Review if you can. Pretty please? :- )**


	14. Chapter 13: My Life Would Suck wout You

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: I'm in an incredibly BAD mood (ajenc knows why). I'm pretty sure the title of the chapter and the song tells you all you need to know.**

**And ajenc, you always rock the hardest! Thank you for all of your help! :- )**

**P.S. If you need a visual for Edward's costume, Google Gerard Butler in "Phantom of the Opera" in his Red Death costume, minus the sword & cape. SEXY :-P**

_**Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye **_

_**Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight **_

_**I know that I've got issues **_

_**But you're pretty messed up too **_

_**Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you **_

_**'Cause we belong together now, yeah **_

_**Forever united here somehow, yeah **_

_**You got a piece of me **_

_**And honestly, **_

_**My life would suck without you **_

_**-Kelly Clarkson, "My Life Would Suck Without You"**_

Chapter 13: My Life Would Suck Without You

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," Alice yelled from behind the door, "You are co-owner of New Moon! You are going to this party!"

"But why the hell do I have to wear this?!" I yelled back. My mind was completely elsewhere these last few days and I forgot all about this Halloween masquerade fundraiser party Alice and I were contributing to. Halloween wasn't even until Friday, yet here I was, Wednesday evening, locked in Alice's bathroom, examining the red contraption she called my costume. I coughed and cursed, my voice scratchy as well. I caught a bit of a cold over the weekend and it was still bothering my throat.

"Because we all drew names for our costumes and you drew the Devil!"

"More like you drew the Devil…" I muttered as I slipped on the black boots.

"Alice!" I yelled again, "I look like a fricking pirate!" I only had the bottom half of my costume on and was liking it less and less. The red pants were cut on the tighter side and I had to tuck them into the boots. This "trend" was okay on girls, but I felt like I belonged in the 1800s or something now. I sighed, it went along with the rest of the costume I suppose. I threw on the long sleeve red button up and came out.

"I knew it would fit you perfectly!" Alice exclaimed. Apparently she had drawn Marilyn Monroe because her trademark black hair was covered by a short blond wig, and she wore a close copy of the iconic white dress from "The Seven Year Itch". Jasper was lounging on the couch.

"How the hell did he draw a cowboy?!" I yelled, completely irritated at that.

"What can I say partner, I got the luck of the draw," Jasper chuckled, letting his southern drawl out in full force. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. I stood impatiently as Alice finished tying the black silk ascot tie around my neck. I slipped on the Victorian style coat, complete with tails, and a pair of black leather gloves.

"Okay sit!" Alice commanded, "I need to slick back your hair then get your mask on."

"HAH!" I coughed, "Good luck with that."

As Alice worked on my hair I got lost in my thoughts. Whenever I was alone, ever since I was a child, I got lost in my thoughts. However, in the past six years, my thoughts were not a place that I enjoyed getting lost in. I willed my breathing to remain calm as I thought of last week.

_Flashback_

_I was completely numb. I should have said something, should have stopped her, corrected her…something. Instead I sat silently and let Bella tell our son the truth. Well, her version of the truth. She completely left Charlie out and she explained how I was blind and the surgery fixed my eyesight. She told him she left so that I could recover properly. That it was a mistake for her to leave. I couldn't take it anymore and went into the kitchen, but not quick enough. It broke my heart when I heard E.J. ask, "did Daddy not want me?"_

_Though my exit was poorly timed, I heard Bella reassure him that I did want him and I loved him. I could feel the panic building and tried to get my temper under control. She was trying to take the blame completely when Charlie was the reason behind everything she believed. Panic was threatening to overtake me again. I know she knows that she made a mistake when she left me, and I thought we were getting past this, but she was still trying to take all of the blame. I was tired of this progress we were making and then taking three steps back because of something from our past. _

_I was alone in the kitchen for some time before I felt little arms wrap around my leg._

"_Are you mad Daddy?"_

_I quickly turned and picked him up, hugging him to my chest, "No E.J., no I'm not mad at you. I'm so happy that you know the truth, and that you told us."_

_E.J. pulled back and looked at me, slightly teary eyed, "Really Daddy?"_

_I nodded and saw Bella come into the kitchen. Her eyes were incredibly red, no doubt crying more as she relived the past for E.J. _

"_It's time for bed E.J.," Bella said softly._

"_Okay Mommy. Goodnight Daddy." I froze in my spot when he kissed me on the cheek before I put him down. He paused at Bella as she knelt down to him._

"_Will you tuck me in Mommy?" Bella looked at me as if asking if this was okay._

"_Go ahead," I said, "I'll start cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen."_

_Bella looked like she was going to protest but E.J. cut her off, "Superman pajamas Mommy!"_

_E.J. quickly pulled Bella out of the room as he yelled goodnight to me again. I smiled and turned to start on the dishes. My smile was short lived however as I was alone and found the time to think to myself. Bella couldn't believe anymore that this was all her fault, she told me she didn't, but I could hear it in her voice. The thoughts are still there. _

_I finished rinsing and was preparing to dry when Bella's voice from behind startled me._

"_I'm sorry that took so long. He's a little upset still. He thinks that we're both mad at him. I assured him we're not."_

_Bella came and stood next to me and grabbed a towel as she began to dry with me. The panic came back and I couldn't stand it. She kept trying to take all the blame for everything that happened between us. True, she might have done it, but Charlie was the one who manipulated her into doing it. I was losing the battle with my temper and I blurted things out without thinking. I threw my towel into the sink in disgust._

"_How could you lie to him Bella? How can you lie to yourself?"_

_Bella dropped her towel and the plate she was drying on the counter. "What the hell are you talking about Edward?"_

_I turned to face her and saw her turn to face me, arms crossed over her chest and leaning her hip against the counter._

"_You left me so that I could recover? Bullshit Bella! You didn't once mention Charlie! He's the reason for all of this! Can you honestly tell me that YOU believe Charlie is to blame for all of this like you told me? Or do you still believe what you told E.J.?"_

"_How can you ask me that Edward?!" Bella shouted at me, "Of course I believe Charlie is behind this!"_

"_It sure doesn't seem like it!" I yelled back._

"_Edward, I can never fully blame Charlie! I was the one who chose to never come back for you. ME! I was the one who was too scared to come back for you, too scared that you wouldn't want me, too scared that you would never forgive me!"_

_I let out a loud scream as I pounded a fist into the counter. "I'm tired of all this round and round shit Bella! I'm tired of all the lies! Just be HONEST with me Bella! Be honest with E.J.! He's smarter than you think! He will understand!"_

"_It's not that easy Edward!" Bella cried, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks._

"_Why not Bella?" I shouted, "There's nothing easier than the truth! He'll forgive you!"_

"_Then tell me the truth Edward! Do YOU forgive me?"_

_She caught me completely off guard. I WANTED to forgive her. I wanted to forgive her so badly. I was just so tired of this round about. I accepted what had happened in the past. It took a lot but Dr. Stephens and Alice helped. I forgave myself for all the self-deprecating thoughts I had in the last six years, blaming myself for everything that had happened. There was nothing I could do about what had happened in the past and I had FINALLY learned to accept that. I was more than happy to just have Bella and now E.J. back in my life. However, I could tell she still hadn't let the past go and she had yet to forgive herself. _

"_I can't do this…" Bella whispered._

_It felt like she stabbed me in the heart, just like back in 5__th__ grade. She was giving up on us… _

"_You…I…" my breaths were coming quickly, "I'll go now."_

_Bella's eyes went wide, "Oh no! Edward! That's not what I-"_

_I brushed past her, "Goodbye Bella."_

_I grabbed my jacket and threw it on. I quickly threw open the door as Bella ran out of the kitchen._

"_Edward! Wait! Please! That's not what I meant!"_

_I couldn't turn to look at her. I couldn't let her see the pain in my eyes, for they were surely going to show her the pain in my heart._

"_I can't do this…" I whispered childishly. _

_I quickly stepped into the hallway and closed the door. My heart was heavy as I rode down the elevator and exited onto the street. I drew out my cell phone and called Alice quickly._

"_Edward! Is everything okay?"_

"_We got into a fight. It's over."_

"_Edward! No! You promised me Edward! It's not ov-"_

_I hung up before she could say anymore. I couldn't hear her words, the hope and certainty so clear in them. _

_End flashback_

As I expected, Alice showed up unannounced in my apartment the next morning. At least she came offering coffee at 9am on a Saturday. I knew I had overreacted the night before and let my temper get the better of me. However, after the way I left, I honestly thought it was over. That she wouldn't forgive me for the way I walked out of there and left her in tears again. I had yet to even speak a single word to Bella since then and it had been almost a week now.

"I am a genius!" Alice declared, drawing me out of my thoughts. I looked up and was shocked. She had managed to slick my crazy hair down flat against my head.

"Here's your mask!" Alice thrust the red, horned mask into my hands. It looked like a human skull except with horns on the forehead and it was red. Alice tied it on and the thing completely covered my face. I was thankful. I didn't like crowds in general, mostly because I could see the leering faces and unsubtle advances of women in my direction. It made me all too uncomfortable. It also made me ache for Bella.

Angela had called and asked if I could pick up E.J. on Monday. I spent the day with him at the park again, playing with him and reassuring him that I wasn't mad at him and that I loved him more than anything. Bella was waiting for us when I brought him home, but I simply told him goodbye and left without a word to Bella. Sure it was cold of me, but she needed to figure her own feelings out and forgive herself.

I sat in the limo that Alice had gotten for us. Rosalie's firm and Emmett's gym were also contributing to this fundraiser for cancer research. There was an auction and I had contributed a painting and Alice had designed a one of a kind dress. Emmett also donated a free one year membership to his gym. I was wondering about something though.

"Alice, how come we had to pick our costumes randomly?"

Emmett chuckled and Rosalie smirked. Jasper was looking out the window but he had a smile on his face. Alice smiled at me brightly. I rolled my eyes.

"What do you all know that I don't?"

Alice laughed, "Edward, I gave you the flyer about the party. We all were given numbers. Each of us is going to have a matching counterpart at the party. Jasper's going to be looking for a cowgirl holding number 31. Rosalie needs to find the football player holding number 12. Emmett needs to find his 'Jane' holding the number 19. And I'm assuming I need to find someone dressed like JFK or something holding the number 37."

"WHAT?! There's going to be some random woman looking for me?!" I did not like this idea at all. After everything that just happened with Bella, the thought of some woman I didn't know looking for me at a party made me uncomfortable. Thank goodness my face was completely covered.

"There's a $1,000 prize for the first couple to find each other."

I snorted, "So who am I going to be looking for, God?"

"No Edward," Rosalie rolled her eyes, "An angel. And here's your number. You're looking for an angel with the number 7."

I snorted again. Great. $1,000 meant little to me so I only hoped that whoever was my "angel" wouldn't find me right away. I could've done without this night in general, but as a co-owner I had to go. Especially since I donated the painting too. The party was actually a big gala event as it turns out and we pulled up behind dozens of other limos to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. There would thankfully be plenty of places for me to hide, even if we were going to be more secluded in the Temple of Dendur area.

Thankfully there weren't hordes of paparazzi outside. I knew there were going to be some celebrities here tonight, but the cameras outside were rather small in number. Thank God, because even if those flashes weren't directed at me, they would still hurt my eyes immensely. As we walked into the gallery I could tell the party was in full swing. There were so many different costumes, but at the same time so many looked similar. I guess that helped to make it harder to find the person with your number.

I stuck close to Jasper, since it was obvious he would be looking for a cowgirl. Or so I thought. One girl dressed as one of those saloon can-can dancers came up and asked Jasper if he had the same number, but it wasn't him. No one had come up to me yet, and I was thankful my face was completely covered. I didn't want any attention from any females tonight…but I would be nice if my "angel" actually found me. I had not seen anyone that resembled an angel yet. Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice were off trying to find their counterparts.

I was nursing a whiskey & Coke as Jasper drank a beer. We were commenting here and there on various people's costumes. Music was playing and there were some couples, who didn't match at all, that were dancing. There was a stage set up near the large glass windows where the auction would take place. Jasper and I found seats on the ledge above the pond and let our legs dangle as we watched people flit about. We were more than certain we saw the winning couple, but turns out Peter Pan was actually Robin Hood. Jasper and I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that Alice would've been a perfect Tinkerbell. A microphone squealed and Jasper and I grimaced and stood.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!"

"Holy…" I started.

"Shit," Jasper finished.

Rosalie was standing up on stage in all her, well, kind of slutty, cheerleader glory. And standing next to her in not actually his uniform, but a football uniform nonetheless, was Tom freaking Brady. Somewhere Gisele Bundchen must be seething because honestly, I think Rosalie probably could put any one of those Victoria's Secret models to shame, and Emmett is probably seething because Rosalie just met Tom Brady.

"Well…damn," Jasper chuckled, "I guess me and my cowgirl were not meant to be."

I laughed as a pouting Alice returned and Jasper gathered her in his arms and whispered into her ear. Within seconds the pout was gone and Alice's eyes were filled with mischief. I looked away, not wanting to intrude on anything private. I finished my drink and looked across the way. My breath caught in my throat. It was my "angel". It had to be. A intricately designed white mask with feathers, glitter, and rhinestones covered the majority of her face, but the wings on the back of her billowing white dress told me she had to be an angel. Her dark brown hair was straight and down, framing her face and somehow seeming to bring out the white of her mask. Alice caught my staring and followed my gaze.

"Wow Edward!" Alice exclaimed, "Go talk to her! And find out where she got her dress! I love it!"

"What?" I coughed, "Oh no, Rosalie already won…I-"

"Edward, she's staring straight at you." Alice turned her face and hid it, obviously being caught staring at the mystery angel.

"Don't be rude!" Alice hissed, "She's obviously seen that you're the Devil and you two match!"

"Oh…um…" I managed a small wave, and to my surprise she waved back before looking at the ground.

"Good luck man," Jasper said honestly, knowing how uncomfortable I could be with strangers, especially women.

I nodded to my friends and pushed my way through the crowds of dancing pirates and vampires. I bumped into a 007 and the Pocahontas wrapped around him, and a Catwoman making out with a doctor. I saw Emmett casually talking to his "Jane" and apparently her man-friend Peter Pan…or Robin Hood…I don't know which. My angel hadn't moved from her spot. She smiled slightly at me before she silently held up the card with her number. There it was, the number 7.

I smiled and held up my own card, my voice scratchy and rough, "Number 7."

She smiled faintly but said nothing in return. I really had no idea what to say. The music changed to a slow song and I looked pleadingly over to where Alice & Jasper were standing and watching. I saw Alice motioning with her arms quickly. I furrowed my brows and mouthed "what" back to her. She grabbed Jasper and started dancing with him. Oh. OH! I blushed a little. I guess there was no harm in asking.

"Would you like to dance for a song with me?"

The angel looked up at me and nodded silently again. I was beginning to wonder if she was mute until she whispered in a hoarse voice, "That'd be nice."

Something about her voice sounded familiar as I led her to where other couples were dancing slowly. I placed one hand on side, near her rib cage, wanting to remain respectful, and took her hand in my other. Her other small hand rested lightly on my bicep as we swayed slowly to Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You". Though I had this woman in my arms, my heart was aching for Bella. It felt so wrong, yet so…right with this woman here. It was like she fit perfectly. And I don't know what it was, but it felt like there was some sort of current running between us. Something I only felt with Bella. Bella…my heart ached. Why? Why couldn't we get past our past? When was she going to be ready? After having a taste of her back in my life, I didn't know if I could wait any longer for her, knowing that she was right here but out of my reach.

The song was coming to an end and my angel pulled back to look at me. I looked down and for the first time looked into her brown eyes. The seemed familiar but so so sad. I had never seen such a defeated look on a person before. _Yes you have_ my mind screamed at me. Bella! My heart began to race. I looked into her eyes again. Could it be? The electricity I felt? The feel of her in my arms? I glanced down at her mouth and her plump pale pink lips. Could it be?

"Tell me your name," I whispered, still holding her in my arms, our faces mere inches apart.

"Tell me yours first," she whispered, standing completely still.

I eyed her lips again. It was like they were calling to me. I wanted to feel them against my own. I wanted to know if they would feel as soft as they looked. Without thinking again, I closed the distance between us and just as our lips ghosted against each other she pushed me away and whispered.

"I'm sorry…" and she disappeared into the crowd. I stood still, completely stunned for a moment. What the hell was that? Out of nowhere Alice appeared at my side.

"What happened? Didn't I just see you kissing that woman?"

I instantly felt a pang of guilt. _That woman._ I almost kissed a woman that wasn't Bella. It's not like I was back together with Bella, but I still felt guilty. I knew, deep, deep, down in my heart that Bella was it. There was no one else on this earth for me. I dared to hope that Bella felt the same way, but she still had so much to learn about herself. These six years were tougher on her than I had realized.

"I don't know what happened Alice," I sighed, "She just pushed me away and said, 'I'm sorry.' She probably has a husband or a boyfriend or something."

"Or something," Alice muttered. I was about to ask her what she meant by that but the microphone squealed again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to participate in our auction please gather round. You will need your number card to hold up while you bid. We have some great things up for grab tonight, and remember this is all for charity!"

People around us clapped as they moved forward to go bid. I had absolutely no desire to bid on anything. Alice wanted to stay to see how much her dress would go for. I had no interest in seeing how much my painting would go for.

"We have some great things as I said. Some of our biggest items include membership to the museum, McCarty's Gym, gifts from Henri Bendel and Bergdorf Goodman, a one of a kind creation from Alice Brandon of New Moon, a painting by Edward Cullen, and one of the rarest, an item I'm told is so rare, there is no other like it in the world."

That had my interest. What could be so rare in the world these days?

"An original first draft of the New York Times #1 Best Seller, 'Love Story', autographed by the author herself, Izzie McCarty! I'm also told that Ms. McCarty is here mingling among us tonight. So, whomever you are Ms. McCarty, thank you for your donation!"

I couldn't breathe. Bella was here. My angel. All the electricity flowing between us, the familiarity of her hoarse voice, the way my lips burned after the slightest touch…Bella was my angel!

"I need to find her!" I heard Alice and Jasper's confused calls of my name and asking where I was going. I didn't even know where to go. I just headed in the general direction of where I had seen her disappear. I pushed through the crowd but frowned when I found myself in the hallway with the bathrooms. I was about to turn around when I heard Rosalie.

"Oh come on! You have to at least stay to see how much Izzie McCarty's book goes for!"

There she was standing with my angel. My Bella. No matter how much pain she had caused me over the past years and especially the past month, I was still so in love with Bella Swan. I knew that. I knew I could forgive her. I should have never hesitated when she asked.

"Bella!" I called out. My angel whipped around as I jogged forward towards she and Rosalie. Rosalie had that knowing smirk as Bella moved to hide behind her.

"You!" she cried, "how did you find out my name?"

I quickly pulled the mask off and Bella gasped loudly, "Edward!"

"I'll leave you two to talk," Rosalie said, a rather smug look on her face. She walked down the hall and back towards the Temple. Bella and I were left alone again.

"I knew it was you," she whispered, "or, well, heh, I hoped it was you."

Her mask was still on her face and I wanted so desperately to look at her beauty.

"Take off your mask Bella," I said softly.

"Oh!" she jumped and quickly made to untie the strings in the back of her head. She took the intricate mask off delicately and I lost myself in the gorgeous flush upon her cheeks.

"You look," I whispered, "absolutely beautiful tonight Bella." I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Tears immediately started to stream down her cheeks and I instantly panicked.

"Bella! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Edward," Bella said softly grabbing my gloved hand, "I've waited so long to hear you say that. You…you've never said that to me before."

My own heart burst at her words. I had told her she was beautiful before, but never that she _looked _beautiful. I had never seen her before when I had called her beautiful.

"You've always been beautiful Bella," I whispered, squeezing her hand in mine.

I took a deep breath and let it out, "Bella, I need to apologize to you again."

She didn't answer me but looked down, sniffling and biting her bottom lip. I gently lifted her chin with my finger.

"Please don't hide from me Bella. I've gone much too long without your beauty."

"Edward…" Bella whispered.

"I'm sorry for the way I left you on Friday. I didn't mean what I said and I let my temper get the better of me. I'm so sorry Bella. I should never have left you like that."

I couldn't look into her eyes any longer as I let my words sink in. There was no way that I wanted to see the pain or the possible distain Bella may have for me now. I felt her tiny hand on my chin and my skin burned under her touch. She raised my face to look at hers.

"You were right Edward."

I opened my mouth to protest but she immediately clapped her hand over it.

"Let me finish, please," she said seriously, "You were right. I haven't forgiven myself. I don't know if I can…but I WANT to move on. I want E.J. to have his Daddy and Mommy. Our lives have been incomplete without you. MY life has been so empty without you."

She whispered the last part and my breathing had picked up. Was…was she saying what I only ever dared to dream?

I gulped, "What are you trying to say Bella?"

She took a deep breath, "I was so stupid for leaving you Edward. Can you ever forgive me for everything I've done in the past?"

I didn't hesitate at all this time, "I forgive you Bella."

The tears spilled over her cheeks and I saw her smile as she looked down. At least now I knew they were tears of happiness.

"How can you forgive me, when I can barely even forgive myself?"

I spoke freely from my heart, not once thinking, only feeling, "You said it yourself Bella all those years ago. We BELONG together."

She gasped and looked up into my eyes, and I hoped she saw everything I wanted to convey to her. I still loved her so much and I was so tired of this round and round cycle we had been trapped in.

"My life sucked without you Bella."

She choked out a small laugh between her tears, "I've missed you so much Edward."

I pulled her into my chest, hugging her tightly. Her arms wrapped around my middle and we fit together perfectly.

"What do we do now Edward?" she whispered.

I shrugged, "I don't know. We move forward, don't let our past hold us back anymore."

"You know we still have stuff to talk about and discuss right?"

I nodded, "I do…but we'll do it together. I'm tired of being apart from you."

"Me too," she said softly.

I rested my chin on her head and breathed in her scent that was so distinctly hers. She pressed her face to my chest tightly and breathed in deep. I had no idea how long we stood there, but we were interrupted by Marilyn and her cowboy.

"I KNEW you two would look perfect together!"

Bella and I pulled apart slightly, still keeping our arms wrapped around each other.

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

Jasper laughed, "All yours Darlin'!"

Alice scowled briefly at Jasper before turning back to us, "Well…you don't honestly think its coincidence that you two were paired up for this thing?"

"Why you…" I started.

"Meddlesome pixie!" Bella shouted.

I laughed and stared down at Bella, who was now blushing and embarrassed from her outburst.

"Sorry…" Bella whispered.

Alice just laughed, "Honestly, you two are so stubborn! I've had this planned for ages now! You two are also both too proud to admit that you need help or that you were wrong, and neither of you would've made the first move to get back together if you didn't get an outside push!"

I blushed. Alice was right about that. We already knew that I would've never made the first move to try and mend things with Bella. I was too stubborn and had felt that she was the one who wronged me so she should make the first move. Bella was scared from the way I acted so she never made the first move, thinking I didn't want her or E.J. I sighed. Bella and I sure were some pair.

"Thank you Alice," Bella said softly, "Thank you for everything you've done. And for this dress! It's absolutely stunning."

My eyebrows shot up, "YOU designed her dress?! But earlier, when you…I…but…ugh! You are meddlesome!"

Alice laughed at my frustrated tone. I wasn't angry, I just felt like I was exceptionally unobservant or something for missing the pixie and her plans.

"Oh well…you know you two love me anyway!"

I rolled my eyes and Bella laughed. Her laugh made my body ache in all the right ways. I had missed her melodic laugh more than anything.

"Were you really going to leave Bella? Rose said you were heading out?"

"Oh," Bella laughed softly, "I was planning on it. I wanted to get home. Angela and Ben are watching E.J."

"Did you come here by yourself?" Jasper asked, surprise apparent in his voice.

"I did…Rosalie insisted I had to be here since I, well, Izzie McCarty supports this foundation. Although, now that I stop and think about it, everything does seem a little…convenient?"

Bella's eyebrows were raised and she looked at Alice questioningly.

"What can I say?" Alice chuckled, "So MAYBE I did take you to Edward's apartment instead of mine, MAYBE I got Rosalie to convince you to be here and I puppy dog pouted Edward into agreeing, and MAYBE I pulled some strings so you two would have matching numbers...There's a lot of 'maybes' that may have coincidentally just…happened."

"Right!" I snorted, "Like you forgot where you lived and accidentally brought Bella to my place instead of yours!"

"Well is it so bad where you're standing right now?"

I cringed and felt Bella do the same as Alice's momma bear face was starting to show. When we were both silent, she continued.

"That's what I thought! Yeah, the past week sucked ass and you two are the most stubborn people I have ever met, but we're on the road to a reunion now are we not?"

I could feel the heat from the blush of Bella's cheeks as she nodded shyly.

"Edward?" Alice chided, due to my lack of verbal and physical response.

"Yes Alice," I said softly as Bella looked up at me, I couldn't help but smile down at her, "We're on the road."

"Good!" the pixie chirped, "Well, Jazzy, Emmett, Rose, and I were going to stay a little longer. Why don't you see Bella home Edward?"

"Oh no," Bella started, "You can stay if you want. I-"

"I would be honored," I cut her off, giving her shoulders a small squeeze.

"Okay, then, I'll see you at work tomorrow Edward!" Alice called as she turned back down the hallway with Jasper, "Bella! Call me!"

Jasper called out a "have a nice night" as he trailed behind Alice. I reluctantly let Bella go and offered her my arm. She looped her arm through mine and hugged her body to me. As we headed out of the Museum, Bella laughed.

"Do remember the time we were walking like this in the parking lot and I completely tripped over nothing? I don't know how you managed to stay on your feet!"

I remembered. It was in 11th grade and Bella had driven us to school for the first time. She always walked with me arm in arm while my other hand held my cane. That day we were walking back to her car when she yelped and I heard a commotion and her weight was suddenly gone from my arm.

I chuckled, "I honestly don't know how I managed that either! Don't worry, I won't let that happen ever again."

Bella shivered, but it was warm in the Museum, so I wasn't sure what caused it. She squeezed my arm tighter as we walked out the doors. I had to admit, it felt…nice to talk about the past like that with Bella. There was no negativity in either of our voices and it felt like we were reminiscing like any couple would. A couple. Though we were on the path now to our…reunion or reconciliation or whatever, I didn't dare want to hope to be a couple yet. I knew if we were going to be a couple again, that we would have to go even slower than we did before.

Bella had her own black town car and hadn't said anything else since we mentioned the previous memory. She was gazing out the windows as we made our way back to her apartment. Surprisingly enough, Cameron was there working the door and he offered a hand to help Bella out of the car.

"Ah, Isabella, Edward…it's nice to see you both. And together…"

Bella blushed and looked down, "Yes well…um…"

"Say no more dear," Cameron said, "all couples go through rough patches. Makes the smooth sailing all that much more enjoyable."

We both smiled as I walked Bella into the lobby. She had looped her arm through mine again and I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of how right it felt. I unlatched our arms as I pressed the elevator button.

"Would you like to come up for a minute? Say hi to Angela and Ben?" Bella asked, then her eyes went wide, "OH MY GOSH! Have you seen Ben yet?"

I shook my head no and was about to speak when Bella cut me off.

"Oh Edward! I don't want you to get…to get too overwhelmed or anything! You don't have to come up! I-"

"Bella," I cut her off, my hand covering her mouth, as she had done earlier to me, "I would love to see our friends."

The elevator dinged, alerting us that it was here and we stepped in. Bella remained silent for the first few floors and I could tell she was still feeling some sort of guilt.

"Bella," I asked softly, "could you, um, could you describe Ben for me? You know, so it won't be too surprising."

I had been told what Ben looked like when we were in school. He was shorter than Angela, not particularly well built, but not a twig either. He wore glasses and had short brown hair. He told me once he was the stereotypical comic book loving geek. Of course I had no idea what that looked like then, but I couldn't very well imagine that the boy who stood up to Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, and Eric Yorkie in 5th grade by himself resembled some of the kids I had seen walking around when there was a Sci-Fi convention in town.

"Well…Ben pretty much looks the same. Well, okay maybe not. He did put on a little more muscle since Emmett gave him a free membership to the gym. And he doesn't always wear his glasses. Once in a while he'll put on his contacts."

"What was he wearing tonight? Glasses or contacts?"

"Glasses. Angela was in her contacts tonight. She was planning to cook with E.J."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and tried to imagine what Ben would look like. When I was preparing for meeting most of my family, my mother had shown me pictures of them. However, during my "dark times", I didn't even bother to look up what Ben and Angela looked like. I didn't want to be reminded of anything that had to do with Bella.

My arm was looped with Bella's again as we made it to her front door. I took another deep breath as she pushed it open. It was well after 10pm so E.J. wouldn't be awake since tomorrow was a Thursday. Bella placed her small purse on the table near the door and walked further in.

"Ang? Ben?" she called out.

"Hey Bella! How was the party? I- Edward Cullen?"

Ben was standing frozen in the doorway that led to Bella's dining room. He was as Bella had described, which made this much less overwhelming. He was more muscular now than I would have imagined him in high school. I heard Angela yell my name and she appeared frantically behind Ben. It was no lie. Ben was quite a bit shorter than Angela.

"Hello Ben. Angela," I said softly.

"You know," Ben started, "I always thought I might want to punch you in the face if I ever saw you again."

I blanched and Bella stiffened at my side.

"But you know what? I'm just so glad to see you again man!" Ben smiled and he strode over quickly. Bella let go of my arm and Ben embraced me in a hug.

"It's been too damn long Edward Cullen!" I smiled as I hugged my friend. Truthfully, I had missed Ben a great deal too. He and I would talk baseball, and he never judged my love for the game even though I had never seen one.

"I hate to cut this reunion short, but we've got to get going," Angela said, regret clear on her face, "Ben has early office hours tomorrow."

Bella gasped, "BEN! Why didn't you say so? I would've come home earlier!"

Ben chuckled, "I was under strict orders from Rosalie not to give you any excuse to come home earlier and Ang was threatened by a certain little black haired friend of yours."

Bella groaned, "You were all in on some part of this weren't you?"

Angela laughed, "Seriously Bella? You and Edward are two of the most stubborn and unobservant people I have ever met. Not that I blame you two since there was a lot going on in your lives, but come on! I actually thought you caught on the other day when you saw my cell phone ringing and told me Alice was calling."

"Oh," Bella frowned, "I guess I was distracted or something."

"Or something," Angela muttered.

Angela's tone automatically made me wonder. Was there something specific that had Bella distracted? Was it a work thing?

"Well," Ben said, his coat now on, "we'll get going. I do have early office hours tomorrow. Edward man, it was good to see you."

Ben extended his hand and we shook zealously.

"Hey," Ben said as if something just occurred to him, "we should do that get together with everyone now that there's no secrets running around anymore."

"Ben!" Angela scolded in that soft tone of hers.

"What? I'm serious! We need to catch up!"

"I would love to," I said honestly.

"See?" Ben said smugly.

"Yeah yeah yeah professor. Let's go home so you're not super cranky tomorrow morning."

Angela was pushing Ben out the door when he called, "Call us! Let's set something up!"

Angela shouted their good-byes as Bella and I both laughed. We stood in her living room a good distance apart from each other now. The room was silent, but the silence was not awkward. It never was between Bella and I when we were together in our younger years. When I looked at her I noticed she was staring at me. She blushed but didn't drop her gaze. I moved slowly towards her and stopped when we were inches apart. I looked down at her in wonder and cupped her warm cheek in my hand. There were moments where I still didn't believe that she was here, that we had found each other again.

"Daddy?"

The seemingly magic spell that Bella and I seemed to be lost in broke, and we stepped away from each other. E.J. was standing at the beginning of the hallway that led down to his room. His hair was sticking up in all directions, exactly like mine in the mornings, and he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I looked quickly at Bella, and she nodded her head in his direction, answering the silent question I had asked.

"Hey big guy," I said as I walked over and scooped him up in my arms. He immediately molded himself to me, resting his head on my shoulder, rubbing his face against the juncture between my neck and shoulder.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked softly. Bella came up to my side and smoothed some of E.J.'s crazy stands of hair down.

"I heard," he let out a huge yawn, "you and Mommy and Ms. Angela and Mr. Ben talking."

His eyes were practically closed again and his breathing was slowing down.

"Let's get you back into bed son," I whispered.

"M'kay," he mumbled. Bella stifled a giggle with her hand as she led the way to E.J.'s room.

His open door clearly illuminated a path straight to his bed. Bella pulled back the covers and fluffed his pillows before I gently placed him down. He squirmed a bit before finding a comfortable position, completely sprawled out on his stomach. Bella giggled softly.

"He sleeps just like you too." She moved quietly and kissed him on his forehead before turning to leave the room. I took one more look at him, still in awe that he was mine. I slowly bent down and smoothed away a lock of his hair before I kissed his forehead.

"I love you E.J." I whispered. Bella was waiting for me in the doorway, tears glistening in her eyes. She closed the door slightly before turning to face me in the hall.

"I always knew you'd be a good father," she smiled.

I cupped her cheek, bringing her eyes up to meet mine, "thank you Bella. Thank you for giving him life. Thank you for keeping him safe and healthy. Thank you for raising him to be such a wonderful boy. Thank you so much Bella."

She smiled and brought a hand up to mine on her cheek, "You are more than welcome Edward. I'm so grateful that E.J. has his Daddy."

We stood there motionless for a few seconds, lost in each other's words and eyes. Bella smiled and pulled her cheek away. She turned and laced her fingers through mine as she led me back to the living room.

"I have something for you," Bella said as she sat me on the couch. I missed her touch when she let go of my hand and went to some shelves against the wall. I had missed the tingles and the sensations that came every time we touched each other. I watched as Bella pulled a photo album out and walked back to me, laying it in my lap and sitting beside me.

"There are pictures of everything. These are from when I was pregnant up until this summer. I took so many pictures of E.J. over the years. I always held some small hope that I'd get to share them with you."

Bella sniffled again and her tears began to come down harder again. My hands instantly went to her cheeks and I wiped them away.

"Bella, love…"

"I left hints for you Edward in my last journal entry. Charlie read through my journals, making sure I didn't tell you where I was going. I scribbled that last entry before I left the journals with Angela. I thought the hints were clear. Charlie, he lied to me Edward. He made me feel an overwhelming guilt…he convinced me that I would be stealing YOUR life from you if I stayed, when all along my father thought it was the other way around. He was just waiting for a good reason to break us up, and E.J. was it."

My fists clenched. I knew the man had called me a "freak" and said all the same things to my father, but I never would've thought he would put all the guilt on Bella and make her think she was the one who would ruin my life. Bella's small hand rested on my forearm and I instantly felt my fists relax. I looked up at her and she smiled slightly.

"I was such a coward Edward…I should've just come back like Emmett always told me to. Or I should've written to you…but Charlie made me feel so guilty about ruining your life I couldn't bring myself to do it. And now I've ruined your life anyway and hurt you so much."

Bella was crying hard again, and I cupped her cheeks and kissed her tears away. Her breathing hitched and I leaned my forehead against hers and sighed.

"I'm sorry Edward," she whispered, "I didn't mean to…to freak out like that. I really am trying to get past everything that Charlie did. That I did. I promise. I just…I needed you to know I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath, "Bella, it would be a lie to say these past years didn't hurt, but you have to look at the future now. We're together again, and as long as you'll have me. You and E.J….I'm here as long as you want me."

Bella nuzzled her nose against mine as she spoke, "I'll always want you here. I'm only whole when you're here. I'm never leaving your side again."

We sat in silence for a few moments, holding each other tightly.

I chuckled, remembering the "hints" she had written. Now I could see them, but only after learning the truth from her. "You really thought I'd get those hints?"

I was glad when Bella chuckled herself before she spoke, "Like I said Edward, I'm a selfish creature. The journals, that last entry…they were my last attempts in hopes that you would come after me, that you would put aside everything and come for me. God, I'm a terrible person."

Bella buried her head into my chest, shaking her head back and forth.

"Bella," I said as I watched my fingers gliding through her silky locks, "I think…I think I can understand why you did it…everything I mean. When you love someone, you'll do anything you can think of to make them happy. And Bella, if you'll let me, I'll do anything to make you smile."

Bella pulled back and smiled slightly, tracing her fingertips along my cheeks. "What did I do to deserve you Edward? How can you forgive me?"

I smiled and kissed her forehead, "We belong together. And I can forgive you because we're together again, and you'll promise me you'll never leave my side again right?"

I looked in her eyes and raised my eyebrows, I spoke with a joking tone, but I was completely serious. I wouldn't survive if she left me again.

"Never again Edward. I wouldn't survive if I did."

She hugged herself to my chest again and we were silent for a few more seconds.

"Would you like to see the pictures?" she asked softly.

We spent some time looking at the pictures. I smiled as I took in the pictures of Bella's growing belly. She explained the scowl on her face in multiple pictures was because of Emmett sneaking up on her at the time. She said it was mostly when she was thinking of me. There was one that was simply beautiful. It was close to the end of the pregnancy and Bella was standing on the porch watching the sunset, her hand resting on her stomach. Her face looked so sad. Bella explained she was thinking about me…and Emmett had finally caught her with the camera. Even though she looked sad, she still had that pregnancy glow about her, and I couldn't help but smile at her belly swollen with our son.

There were pictures from when E.J. was born and I was shocked when I learned that his birthday was actually Valentine's Day. Bella sniffled softly saying that she at least didn't have to spend the day alone all these years. I looked on as I saw that E.J. was pretty much an exact copy of myself. I remembered Bella's words about E.J. being a constant reminder of all the pain she caused me over the years and I pressed a kiss into her hair as we looked at more photos. I knew she never resented having E.J., but I could understand that the pain she went through these past years was like my own, if not worse.

E.J. looked like he was happy in the pictures as he got older. There were various ones of him playing in Central Park and ones of he and Bella together. I chuckled as I looked at his hair in all the pictures. It was just as wild and untamable as my own. He even seemed to have the same crooked smile as me.

When we finally finished looking at all of the pictures it was well after 1am.

"Wow, I should go," I said as stood and stretched my arms above my head.

"Yeah," Bella said softly, "I didn't realize how late it got."

Neither of us had bothered to remove our costumes and I chuckled as I thought of what E.J. must've thought. Thank the lord I didn't have the mask on. I might've scared the poor child. Bella walked me to the door and leaned against it as I stood in the open entryway. I was still so enthralled by her beauty and I felt like I would be every time I looked at her. I reached my hand out and delicately traced her cheek. It automatically turned a delicious shade of red.

"I love seeing you blush," I whispered.

"Will you come by tomorrow?" Bella whispered, her cheeks an even darker color now.

"Of course," I replied, "Do you want me to pick up E.J.?"

"Oh," Bella paused, "If you'd like. Or we can go together?"

"I'd like that," I smiled. The smile that lit up Bella's face in return was absolutely radiant. I couldn't stop staring at her lips and there was something that was nagging my mind.

"Bella," I said softly, "I…well, I just want to try one thing. Something we didn't get to finish earlier."

I gently cupped her cheek and moved slowly, never taking my eyes away from hers. As I dipped me head closer I kept my eyes on hers, silently asking if this was okay. She didn't move so I continued forward and ever so slowly I pressed my lips to hers. Her lips responded immediately and softly. They were so soft and full against my own, just as I always remembered them to be. I couldn't help myself and brought Bella's full bottom lip between my own and tugged gently. She moaned softly and her hands gently pushed against my chest, moving to rest her forehead there.

"If you keep doing that," she whispered, "I don't know if I can control myself."

I chuckled, having the same thought myself. I pulled back and placed one more gentle kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight my Bella."

She smiled, "Goodnight Edward."

I waited until she closed the door before I made my way to the elevator. I wasn't skipping but I might as well have been. I had never felt so happy and so free in such a long time. We were definitely on the right road now, thanks to that meddling pixie, and well, I knew I couldn't be mad at her anymore after that kiss and the time I just spent with Bella. As I walked back to my apartment I felt like for the first time, I wasn't just wandering down the dark tunnel that my life had been. I now had purpose and reason again. And for the first time in years, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and I knew where I was heading.

**Well? Yes? No? I hope we all are happy now. I hope you thought it was worth it. And this is definitely NOT the end (as if I would end it here). Plenty more to cover...**

**Well, yes, I think it's safe to say Edward and Bella are back together. Their first kiss! (not counting those brief ones) ~*sigh*~ and I had to throw in Rob's line from the movie. I think that's quite possibly one of the sexiest things I've ever heard him say. However, six years IS a long time and they do have a lot to sort through still. Problems will still definitely arise. **

**OH, and if you need a visual for Bella's costume, Google Claire Danes in "Romeo & Juliet" and her angel costume. That's along the lines of what I imagined. **

**So…next chapter, its Halloween! And E.J. is being a little tricky…don't get mad at him Edward, he is only 5 years old… :-P**

**Let me illuminate you all on something: Last chapter: 102 hits on the chapter alone. Reviews: 1. I have NEVER complained about my # of reviews before, but that really got me. Review if you can? Pretty please? :-)**


	15. Chapter 14: This is Halloween

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Shorter chapter. I apologize for the length of the last one, I seriously didn't want to cut it up.**

**Thank you as always to ajenc and xXiStillLoveHimXx. My two loyal and helpful reviewers. You guys are awesome. :- )**

**There's no particular reason I picked this song. It's Halloween in the story and "Nightmare Before Christmas" is one of my favorite movies.**

**P.S. Holy crap, thank you youtube person that illegally filmed Comic-Con! Those two scenes from "New Moon" almost killed me. Taylor Lautner, WHY ARE YOU ONLY 17?! Checking out your body makes me feel dirty. And holy crap, I screamed like a little girl when I saw the second scene. Not even joking, screamed like a little girl. I scared the crap out of my guy friends who were sitting next to me. November needs to get here quicker...**

**_This is Halloween, everyone scream_**

_**Won't you please make way for a very special guy?**_

_**Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch **_

_**Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now **_

_**This is Halloween, this is Halloween**_

_**Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! **_

_**In this town we call home **_

_**Everyone hail to the pumpkin song **_

_**- from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" **_

Chapter 14: This is Halloween

I couldn't believe Bella had willingly thrown me to the sharks. She let ALICE be in charge of dressing me AGAIN. I was sitting in Alice & Jasper's apartment and Alice was flying around in a frenzy trying to get both Jasper and myself ready. Bella was getting ready at her apartment with E.J. The school was having a Halloween Fair since Halloween fell on a Friday this year and this was giving the children somewhere safe to come and have fun, play games, and trick-o-treat. Being a teacher, Jasper had to go to help out, and Alice had helped with decorations for the school. Though I had seen E.J. yesterday, he was under the impression that I wasn't going to see him until Saturday. We had a little surprise in store for him.

When Jasper walked out of their bedroom, I tried my best to not burst out laughing, but was very unsuccessful.

"Nice tights Jasper!" I barely got out before starting to laugh hysterically. Apparently Alice had overheard Jasper telling Emmett that she would make a perfect Tinkerbell. Poor guy must've never seen it coming that she'd make him of course be Peter Pan.

"Shut up," Jasper muttered.

"Edward! Your turn!" Alice sang as she danced out.

My eyes almost bulged out of my head, "Alice! Isn't this a children's fair?!"

Alice was wearing a green strapless dress so short that I was positive that it could have passed as a shirt. I almost felt dirty looking at her. The dress was definitely playing up her tiny waist and her breasts. Thank the lord she had on white tights underneath.

"Oh lighten up Edward! Don't be such a prude."

Jasper laughed and I scowled. Alice's hands went to her hip and she started tapping her toe, glaring at me. I had remained seated on the couch.

"Let's go Edward! We can't be late!"

I sighed and stood up, making my way to the torture chamber that belonged to Alice. She had once sat me down before a night of clubbing and tried to style my hair and dress me. The hair part took an hour and still didn't even work. I put my foot down there. She could buy me clothes, but I would get ready myself. I'm still amazed Alice was able to slick my hair down at the fundraiser masquerade the other day. She muttered something about some product from Japan being "genius". Unfortunately tonight, Bella requested that Alice get me ready and that Alice would know just what to get.

I was still flying high from the kiss Bella and I shared when I left her apartment Wednes- well, Thursday morning. She and I did pick up E.J. from school together yesterday. Alice was more than willing to let me leave the store at 2pm. I was still a little late meeting Bella, so we were late picking up E.J. Even Jasper cringed at the decibel level of E.J.'s squeals when he saw Bella and I together picking him up.

We took a walk through Central Park as E.J. ran and skipped along the path. As E.J. played ahead of us, Bella came up with the idea to surprise our son tonight at his Halloween Fair. Honestly, I forgot how much she used to surprise me sometimes with the words and ideas that left her mouth.

While we didn't get to talk much yesterday, it was comfortable with just the three of us. Bella and E.J. (mostly E.J.) begged me to stay for dinner, which I did. Bella made some spaghetti and garlic bread as E.J. happily talked about his school day. Though it was only one day, I was incredibly excited for more days like this. I didn't dare call us the "F" word just yet. I didn't want to jinx anything.

When I entered the torture chamber, I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw what Alice had laid out on the bed for me.

"What the hell is that?!" I shouted. A pair of what looked to be tight black leather pants lay there with some sort of flowing white shirt tunic thing.

"You're going as a vampire!" Alice chirped.

"In THAT?!" I yelled again, "I couldn't re-use the costume from Wednesday?!"

"Nope," the damn pixie chirped, "Bella said I couldn't let you dress in the same thing."

My mouth hung open.

"Oh relax Edward! It's Halloween! Time to have some fun!"

"Alice, tight leather pants are not my idea of fun."

"Oh come on Edward! Do you want me to tell you what Bella and E.J. are going as?"

Alice had my undivided attention immediately.

"Bella…will be dressed as your gorgeous human love, and E.J., well, he wanted to be a vampire too. Rosalie is helping them get ready."

Alice giggled before she bounced over to the bed, "It'll be great Edward! Come on!"

She held up the pants and shirt and I sighed and grabbed them. As soon as I pulled the pants on in the bathroom, I frowned.

"Alice," I said as I opened the door, "Are they supposed to be this loose?"

"Edward Cullen! These were supposed to fit you! Have you even eaten during the week?!"

I blushed and looked down as Alice continued to scold me for not eating enough and turned me around looking at the fit of the pants, muttering to herself about how to make them fit better. The pants had hung lower on my hips than I thought they would. About two inches of my boxer briefs were showing.

"Do you have a belt?" Alice asked finally.

"Oh um, yeah, they're with my jeans. I didn't think I'd need to wear one."

"Me either," Alice muttered.

I added the belt to my pants and at least it made my pants sit higher on my hips and not in danger of falling off. I put on the white shirt thing and it looked like one of those shirts from the 1800's or something. The collar was very open and quite a bit of my chest was visible.

"Alice, I say again, this is a children's fair!" I yelled as I stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh relax! After the fair, we're all going out to a party Rosalie's firm is throwing! It'll be fun!" Alice chirped as she moved around me, tucking in half of my shirt and leaving the other half untucked. I heard her "hmmm" to herself as she looked me up and down again.

"Okay…time for your hair and some make-up."

"WHOA!" I yelled, "I am NOT wearing make-up!"

"Relax Edward!" the unnaturally strong pixie said as she slammed me down in the chair in front her mirror, "I'm just going to make you look a little paler, some fake blood near your lips. No lipstick or eyeliner or anything girlie. Just trust me."

"Fine…good luck with my hair," I muttered.

I sat there for about 20 minutes as Alice worked her magic. Whatever this Japanese product was that she discovered, I wasn't going to doubt her again. My hair was tamed down against my head again. The make-up wasn't noticeable, though I was paler, and there was just a trickle of fake blood at the corners of my lips.

"Okay! Let's get this show on the road!" Alice yelled, faerie wings now on her back, as she dragged me out of the room.

We decided to walk and since the sun was setting, parents and their children were out walking around on the streets of the Upper East Side. We got closer to the school and we saw all the students and their parents making their ways inside. The gym was decorated with a spooky theme, fake fog, and scary trees and skeletons lying around. There were game booths set up and other booths handing out food and drinks. There were various tables and chairs set up around the gym.

I felt arms wrap around my waist and stiffened, but quickly relaxed when I heard the voice of my angel in my ear.

"Who knew the undead could look so good?" Bella purred in my ear.

I grinned and turned, wrapping my arms around her small frame. She looked up at me and smiled her breathtaking smile at me. Her eyes were smoky and her lips a delicious red. Her long locks were curled, half pinned up, and the other half cascading down her back. Her dress was simply stunning with its white lace and renaissance look. The sleeves went to her elbows before lace flowed down from them. The top was tight like a corset, but the skirt flowed out from her hips.

"Mmmm…no human should look so delicious," I said as I bent my head to her neck, placing a kiss there and inhaling deeply. True we were progressing slowly in our physical displays of affection, but I couldn't help myself just now.

"Edward!" Bella giggled, her finger poking me in the side. I pulled back slightly and placed a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling back all the way to look into her eyes.

"Where's E.J.?" I asked, hoping he hadn't seen me yet.

"He's with Emmett and Rosalie playing some games. He's going to come look for me by the tables over there in a few minutes. E.J. thinks I'm his human victim," Bella giggled, "Won't he be surprised when there's another vampire trying to steal me from him."

Bella giggled again and it was music to my ears. How I missed it. I smiled my crooked smile for her that she loved so much and kissed her forehead before wrapping my arm around her waist and guiding us towards the tables. I looked around and saw Emmett and Rosalie with E.J. at an apple tossing game that Jasper and Alice were manning. Emmett and Rosalie were dressed up as a doctor and a nurse. I saw E.J. explaining something very animatedly to Alice and Jasper as they all laughed. He looked adorable and his outfit matched my own, save for the leather pants. Plus he had a cape and his hair was amazingly slicked back.

I sat and immediately pulled Bella into my lap as she squealed. I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled my face into her neck.

"Edward, what are you doing?" Bella whispered, sounding confused.

"Well," I said as I pulled away after placing one more kiss on Bella's neck, "with you on my lap it will be much more convincing to make you look like my 'victim'."

"Oh," was all Bella said in reply. We sat quietly, her arms coming to rest on top of mine. It wasn't a peaceful or quiet environment around us. Children of all ages were screaming and laughing, but sitting together with Bella in my arms, it was like the rest of the world was failing to exist.

We jumped when Bella's phone on the table vibrated loudly. She quickly grabbed it and flipped it open.

"It's a text from Emmett. He says they're heading over to the tables. Time to do your best acting job Edward," Bella giggled.

"As you wish," I smirked wickedly.

I wrapped Bella's left arm around my neck as my right gripped her hip tighter.

"Oh wait wait!" Bella said as she went to fumble around in her bag, "Use this! It'll be fun!"

Bella handed me a little red capsule of fake blood and I raised a brow. "Won't this scare him?"

Bella shook her head, "Our son had a thing about vampires ever since he saw a movie on the Disney Channel called, 'The Littlest Vampire' or something like that. He thought it was cool."

I stared at Bella for a second, "Our son is into vampires?"

"Edward it's nothing bad I promise. The movie was really cute. If you want to blame anyone for E.J. knowing in depth about the whole drinking blood thing, blame Emmett. He opened his big mouth while we were all watching the movie. Of course Rose and I both hit him on the back of the head."

I chuckled, "Good."

I took the capsule and examined it for a second, I decided to break it with my teeth when I put my lips to Bella's neck.

"They're coming," Bella whispered.

I saw Emmett's huge form coming our way and I positioned Bella across my lap to give me better access to her neck. I kept my right arm firmly wrapped around her waist as I curled my left hand into her hair and pulled her head to the side.

Bella gasped and I purred for her before attacking her with my lips, breaking the capsule in my teeth. Bella squealed as I let the fake blood drip from lips and onto her neck a bit. At least the capsule wasn't big and the blood tasted like sugar. Bella gasped again as I moved my lips along her throat, and I smiled when I kissed the spot below her ear, earning myself another gasp.

I heard Emmett's booming laughter as well as the musical little laugh of my son. They were closer now and I could hear Rosalie commenting on E.J.'s skill at the apple toss game.

"WHOA!" Emmett shouted, and I knew it was to get E.J. to look. I continued to kiss Bella's neck as she gasped and "tried" to push me away.

"HEY!" E.J. yelled, "get your own human victim! She's mine!"

I felt a sharp poke in my back and I struggled to hold in my chuckle.

"E.J." Bella whispered to our son, playing the victim perfectly.

"HEY!" E.J. shouted again, "Leave my Mommy alone!"

This time a little fist connected with my back and I raised my head immediately. I looked down at Bella and she did her best to keep acting her part and not laugh at my perplexed face. Our son just punched me in the back. I smiled wickedly at Bella before placing one more kiss on her neck.

"Hey Mister!" E.J. yelled again, and I could hear Emmett and Rosalie trying to hold back their laughs, "My Mommy is MINE!"

"Mmmmm…" I purred as I turned around to face him, "I think I'll take her and keep her with me forever. Maybe you too…"

I smiled at E.J. and watched as his eyes went from serious to overjoyed in a second.

"DADDY!" he squealed before propelling himself into my lap, almost knocking both Bella and I out of the chair.

"Surprise son," I whispered in his ear as he hugged himself to me tightly.

E.J. pulled back smiling, showing me a set of fake vampire teeth, "I thought I wasn't going to see you until tomorrow! Is this my Halloween treat?"

Bella and I both chuckled at our son's wide eyed expression, "Yes E.J. this is your treat. Happy Halloween son."

"Oh thank you Mommy! Thank you Daddy! This is the best treat ever!" E.J. yelled as he threw his arms around us both. He quickly let go and bounded over to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Uncle Em! Aunty Rosie! It's Daddy!" he shouted, pulling on Emmett's hand.

"Yeah squirt, I see that," Emmett said as he came over. I handed Bella a napkin to wipe the fake blood from her neck and helped her stand as I stood to shake Emmett's hand.

E.J. let go of Emmett and immediately stood between Bella and I, wrapping his arms around my leg.

"Edward," Emmett said as he shook my hand, "it's good to see you man."

Emmett clapped his large hand on my shoulder and shook me a bit, "But man, you got skinny. You better start coming back to the gym."

I rolled my eyes and nodded. E.J. still had one arm wrapped around my leg, and he had pulled Bella down to his eye level and was talking to her animatedly.

"Edward, it's good to see you," Rosalie said, touching my arm lightly, "The undead look works for you."

"Aunty Rosie! Me and Daddy are matching!" E.J. shouted, quickly gaining the attention of our group again.

"I noticed kiddo! I should get a picture of the two of you!" Rosalie smiled.

My eyes widened. I still didn't like to take pictures and I felt Bella touch my arm lightly.

"If you don't want to…" Bella said softly.

"No," I said, "It's okay. We have a lot of memories to build."

Bella smiled brightly at me and kissed my cheek softly before turning to Rosalie. "Can you take a family picture of us Rose? My camera is right here."

I sat down again and my heart swelled at the words, "family picture." Bella had used the "F" word that I didn't dare think. My insides were threatening to burst apart at the seams at the sounds of that word. Family. I hoped more than anything that we would be one someday. I quickly pulled both Bella and E.J. up on to my lap. Rosalie took a few pictures and she and Emmett wandered off. E.J. told Bella and I about the games he played and the candy he won. I grabbed us some pizza, popcorn, and drinks as we sat and ate at the tables. E.J. told me about school and how he liked Jasper as a teacher. He also told us how he really liked Alice and thought she was funny.

After a while I felt E.J.'s little body begin to slump against my shoulder. The little guy was fast asleep. I smiled down at my boy. He might look more like me, but the way his lips formed a little pout reminded me of Bella. The gel in E.J.'s hair had worn off and the untamed strands were breaking through. I smiled and ran a hand through to break the strands up further. He shifted a little in my lap and clutched to my shirt tighter. I continued to smile down at my son and stroke his hair. I still couldn't believe I had a son.

A flash going off distracted me and I looked up to see Bella holding her camera and smiling, tears gathering in her eyes.

"You guys look so perfect. The perfect father and son," she whispered. She walked forward and placed her lips gently against my own.

"Let's go home huh? He's exhausted."

We apologized to Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, bowing out of going to Rosalie's firm's party. I wanted to spend more time with E.J. and Bella…even if it was just watching E.J. sleep. Bella protested at first, but I carried E.J. the few blocks to Bella's home.

Cameron must've had the night off because he wasn't working when we got back. Bella's building was truly beautiful. I was so proud of her. "Love Story" was an international best seller and the movie version was coming out in three weeks. We didn't really talk about it, but it was hard to ignore when the commercials and advertisements for it were everywhere. As I stepped into Bella's living room, E.J. started to squirm in my arms.

"Daddy?" he said softly, opening his little eyes, "can you tuck me in?"

I looked quickly at Bella, silently asking her if that was okay. She smiled and kissed E.J. on the forehead.

"Good night baby," she whispered.

"Night Mommy," E.J. said, letting out a huge yawn afterwards.

E.J. was practically dead on his feet and I had to hold him up as Bella changed him into his favorite Superman pajamas. While she changed him I glanced around his room. It was literally a young boy's dream. There were toys sticking out in a large chest against the wall. A little desk was littered with all sorts of pens, pencils, paints, and drawing paper. The walls were covered with posters of Superman and Ichiro Suzuki of the Seattle Mariners. I glanced at the nightstand and my throat choked up. There sitting in a simple clear plastic frame was the picture of Bella and I that E.J. had shown me in Jasper's classroom.

After he was changed, Bella slipped out of the room as I lifted E.J. up and tucked him in under thick blankets. He didn't squirm around at all this time. The poor guy was absolutely tired out. His hair was now free from its gel prison and was sticking up all over the pillow. I kissed him softly on the forehead and stood to leave. When I made it to the door, I heard him start to mumble.

I turned and leaned against the doorframe smirking. Our son had inherited yet another trait from Bella: sleep-talking. It was unintelligible at first, just random syllables and noises leaving his mouth. After a little bit he started to squirm, almost as if he was fighting against the blankets. That was when his words began to get clearer.

"No…no…." he whimpered. I immediately frowned. Was he having a nightmare? I knew the whole vampire thing was probably a bad idea. Stupid Emmett…

He began to thrash around violently and as soon as he screamed the first time, I lurched off the doorframe and was at his side immediately.

"NO DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!"

"E.J.!" I shouted, attempting to shake him awake. Bella came tumbling into the room, tripping slightly over her dress. Her eyes were already filled with tears.

E.J. was whimpering now, tears streaming down his little red cheeks. I called his name one more time and shook his shoulders again. His eyes flew open, full of panic.

"DADDY!" he screamed, sitting up and throwing his body into me. I held him tightly as he sobbed into my chest. Bella immediately rushed over and wrapped her arms around E.J.

"Oh E.J., baby," Bella whispered softly, "what happened?"

He shook his head and pressed his face deeper into my chest. Whatever it was, it really shook him.

"E.J., son it's okay. It was just a bad dream," I whispered as Bella and I both rubbed his back. E.J. whimpered and pulled back slightly.

"It was so scary," he sniffled, "Daddy….Daddy and I were playing in the park. Th-the sun starting going down and th-then wolves started ch-chasing us. Daddy was screaming at me to run, but I didn't want to leave him. That was when the wolves jumped on Daddy and started dragging him away from me. I tried to run after them but they were too fast."

"Oh E.J." Bella whispered, tightening her arms around him.

"I was all alone. They took Daddy away from me. I thought Daddy was leaving me again. I yelled and yelled for you Daddy, but you never came back."

My throat was almost completely choked up as he started sobbing again. He was having a nightmare about me disappearing from his life. That I was leaving him. I looked up and saw Bella looking at me, her eyes pleading. She must have known what I was thinking. That it was my fault he was having these nightmares, that it was my fault because of the way I just walked out on him from Jasper's classroom.

I kissed E.J.'s forehead, willing those thoughts away, "I'm not going anywhere E.J. I'll always be here with you."

I pulled both E.J. and Bella closer to me and held them as tight as possible. I would never want to be away from the two of them if I didn't have to be. After the six years we've been apart, I knew now that there was nothing, in the past or in the future, that would keep me away from them. E.J. sniffled and squirmed, making Bella and I both ease our holds on him.

"Daddy?" he said softly, opening his little eyes, "can I sleep with you and Mommy tonight?"

My eyes went wide and I looked at Bella. Her eyes were also wide and she blushed a bit.

"If you want to," Bella whispered, looking straight at me, answering E.J., but also giving me the option. I nodded at the same time E.J. did and Bella stood to lead us to her bedroom. E.J. clutched at my shirt tightly as I carried him up the stairs.

When I took in Bella's room I was in awe. The room was huge, the walls painted white, a plush gold carpet was on the floor and in the middle of the room was a large black metal frame bed with golden sheets. It was exactly like the one I had at home in Forks. I stood frozen taking in her room. She had shelves with tons of books and what looked to be journals. There were large French doors that led out to the patio and there in front of the doors was a baby grand piano. I gasped at the sight.

"I've been learning how to play," Bella whispered from behind me. I turned, surprised by her voice, "I missed your playing so I…I've been teaching myself."

"Bella…"I whispered, looking deep into her eyes.

She smiled and kissed me softly, "I missed your ridiculously huge bed too."

I laughed at that, remembering how much Bella loved to sleep. I lay E.J. down carefully, moving him to the middle of the bed where he curled up into a little ball.

Bella and I went to stand in the middle of the room. I suddenly realized we were just in our costumes and I had no pajamas to sleep in.

"Bella…I…er, I only have my costume."

"Oh," Bella said as she blushed, "I…um…well…"

I watched with curiosity as Bella went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of dark blue basketball shorts and a grey Forks High t-shirt.

"I kept these after your 19th birthday remember? You um…ripped my skirt in our…haste."

Bella turned bright red as did I at that memory. It had been a month since our first time and we were both like animals when we finally got some time alone on my birthday. She ripped all the buttons off of my shirt and I ripped her skirt in half in our lust filled haze.

"I…um….how could I forget," I chuckled nervously. Bella blushed as she handed me the clothes and she disappeared into the bathroom with her own clothes. I stripped off the tunic quickly, glad to be rid of it and moved on to the leather pants. Once I undid my belt and the zipper they fell off easily. I grimaced. I really did need to get back into the gym and start eating regularly again. I slipped the basketball pants over my boxer briefs and moved to grab the shirt when I heard a gasp from behind me.

Bella was standing in the open doorway to her connecting bathroom, her bottom lip tucked under her teeth. I could feel the long dormant part of my anatomy begin to stir. Bella was in a simple white tank top and long blue pajama pants, but she looked absolutely gorgeous. I quickly had to will any thoughts of Bella's body away as I heard the deep breathing of our son in Bella's bed.

"You need to put your shirt on before I do something I'll regret…" Bella whispered.

I nodded quickly and threw the shirt on over my head as Bella made her way to the left side of the bed. I pulled back the sheets and Bella and I both lay on our sides, E.J. in the middle, gazing at each other. I reached over and stroked Bella's cheek softly. She leaned her cheek into my palm and let out a small hum of pleasure. I smiled as she reached up and gently ran her fingers along the back of my hand. I leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead and then her lips. We broke apart when E.J. rolled over and mumbled, "Daddy…"

To my surprise, E.J.'s eyes were open, but heavy. Bella ran a hand through his hair and E.J. closed his eyes, but with a little frown on his lips.

"Daddy…I can't sleep. What if the wolves take you away again?"

"Edward James Cullen," I whispered, "it will take more than a pack of wolves to take me away from you. Nothing in this world can take me away from you and Mommy."

Bella's breathing hitched and her eyes shimmered with tears on the verge of being shed. E.J. smiled as best he could through his exhaustion. I couldn't help but smile myself, as I noticed little traces of my own crooked smile there.

I lay down on my back as E.J. moved forward and cuddled himself into my chest, wrapping his tiny fist into my shirt. My arm was extended behind E.J.'s head as he snuggled himself in firmly. Bella quickly stifled a giggled with her hand before she moved closer and cuddled behind E.J. Her body was so tiny I was able to wrap my arm around both she and E.J. Bella smiled as she threw her arm over E.J.'s body, wrapping her fist up in my shirt below E.J.'s. I remembered that when I was little I would have nightmares. Never with any visuals of course, but that didn't mean I wasn't scared. My mother would sing a song to me to help me sleep.

I started humming softly and both E.J. and Bella snuggled in closer. I added the words softly and heard Bella sigh at the sound of my voice:

_"Hush now baby don't you cry_

_Rest your wings my butterfly_

_Peace will come to you in time_

_And I will sing this lullaby_

_Know though I must leave, my child_

_That I would stay here by your side_

_And if you wake before I'm gone_

_Remember this sweet lullaby_

_And all love through darkness_

_Don't you ever stop believing_

_With love alone_

_With love you'll find your way_

_My love_

_The world has turned the day to dark_

_I leave this night with heavy heart_

_When I return to dry your eyes_

_I will sing this lullaby_

_Yes I will sing this lullaby"_

"That was beautiful Edward," Bella whispered.

"You, Isabella, are beautiful," I whispered back, as I placed my other hand on top of hers on my stomach. She smiled up at me and then snuggled in, sighing contentedly.

"Daddy…" E.J. sighed softly and snuggled against me. Bella giggled and I brushed my thumb across the back of her hand until I heard their breathing even out.

I looked down and smiled at the loves of my life, sleeping peacefully, their calm faces identical to one another. Within weeks my life had changed so drastically. At the beginning of October I thought I'd never be complete again, that I would never be whole. Now I had a son and the love of my life was back in my arms. I wondered if there was anything better in life than this. I sighed, hugging the two people that made up my life tighter to my chest. For the first time in my life, I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness behind them.

Morning was here before I could even remember where I was. I could feel a faint tugging on my hair and my brows furrowed. What was tugging on my hair? I lifted a hand and brushed my forehead before I rolled over on my side. The muffled musical laughter caught my attention immediately. A smile broke across my face. It wasn't a dream. I could feel the weight of my son trying to climb over me on the bed so that he could see my face. I immediately wiped the smile off my face and pretended to be sleeping again.

E.J. was right in front of me, and I felt the bed shift a little as he sat. I felt his tiny hands tugging at my hair again and I had a feeling he was making it stick up in funny directions. He laughed again, trying in vain to be quiet. I felt him lean over me and then I felt something being tied into my hair. What was he doing? I decided it was time to wake up.

"BOO!" I yelled, opening my eyes in time to see E.J. squeal as I wrapped my arms around him and flipped us over, tickling his tummy.

"DADDY!" he squealed as his little legs kicked out at me and he laughed. His laugh was like music to my ears, just like Bella's.

I rolled us over so I was on my back and hugged E.J. to my chest.

"Good morning E.J." I said as I kissed the top of his head.

"Morning Daddy," he said as he snuggled against my chest.

I ran my hand through his own crazy stands as we lay there for a while more. It then occurred to me that he tied something in my hair while he thought I was sleeping.

"What did you do to my hair this morning huh?" I asked as I sat us up. E.J. blushed and I chuckled that he had inherited that trait from his mother.

When I finally felt to top of my head, I laughed loudly. E.J. had tied my hair up into two pigtails. I could only imagine that they made me look like an alien with antennae or something.

E.J. giggled, "You look like a martian Daddy!"

"Do I now?" I chuckled, "Is that funny?"

I started tickling E.J. again and he squealed and we rolled around as he tried to escape me.

"MOMMY! HELP ME! DADDY IS A TICKLE MONSTER!"

I heard Bella's sweet laugh and I immediately looked towards the doorway. She was still in her pajamas from last night, but she had swept her hair up into a ponytail. In the time I was distracted, E.J. scampered off the bed and ran to Bella.

"Mommy save me!" E.J. squealed, hiding behind Bella's legs. Bella laughed as she smiled down at him. I climbed off the bed and stalked my way towards them.

"I don't think your mommy can stop the tickle monster…" I could feel the wicked smile on my lips and Bella chuckled. I held my hands up in a menacing way and E.J. squealed for his mommy again, laughing as he hid behind her legs.

"Run E.J.!" Bella shouted as she turned and pushed E.J. out the door. They both started running and I took off after them. I had no idea what the lay out of Bella's home was like, but fortunately she ran towards the living room and I saw a large couch. I caught Bella easily by the waist and she squealed as I tackled her onto the couch, pinning her under me.

"GOTCHA!" I shouted, victoriously as I started to tickle Bella. She laughed and squealed as she writhed underneath me. I laughed and buried my face into her neck, rolling us in the small space so Bella now rested on my chest.

She kissed me on the lips chastely before snuggling her face into my chest.

"Good morning Edward," she whispered.

"Mmmm…good morning indeed," I whispered back, kissing her forehead, silently thanking the Gods above that I hadn't woken up with any morning "problems". Having Bella lying across my body certainly wasn't helping any matters right now.

In no time that train of thought was derailed as I felt the added weight of our son come toppling onto us and occupying what little space was left on my chest. A gust of air left my chest, making me let out a strange noise, which only made E.J. and Bella both laugh. I kissed them both on the head and laughed myself. We sat for a little while longer like that on the couch before E.J. started to squirm.

"Mommy, Daddy, I'm hungry."

"What would you like baby?" Bella asked as I sat us all up.

E.J. furrowed his brows and he looked deep in thought as he bit his bottom lip. He might look like me, but I loved how all of his mannerisms were just like Bella's.

"Can Daddy make me breakfast?" E.J. finally asked.

My eyes went wide, "Why me son?"

"Cuz Mommy burned my French toast last week Saturday and Saturdays are French toast days! And Ms. Alice said you can cook really good Daddy!"

Bella blushed and looked down as E.J. looked up at me expectantly.

"Okay E.J. Why don't you and Mommy go get ready for the day and I'll make us breakfast."

"KAY!" he shouted as he jumped off the couch and ran off towards his room.

I stood and Bella grabbed my hand, "Edward, you don't have to. I can do it."

I smiled and pulled Bella up so I could kiss her lips. After we broke apart I smiled.

"Nonsense Bella. French toast is one of my specialties."

Bella quirked her eyebrow at me and I just smiled, "Trust me love."

"Okay…" Bella nodded as she led me towards the kitchen, "We should have all of the materials."

"Okay," I chuckled, "Go get ready and I'll have breakfast done in a bit."

Bella smiled and kissed me one more time on the lips before she disappeared towards her bedroom. I pulled out the hairstyle my son gave me as I walked to the kitchen. I turned and finally took the room in. It was giant. I could see all kinds of cooking appliances and cookbooks on the counters and there was a large island in the middle with stools on the sides. It was an appropriate kitchen for Bella. She always loved to cook and I imagine she did so quite often.

I shuffled around pulling out all the bowls and pans I would need before I started hunting for the materials. I found some thick crusted bread and sliced them up before moving on to the egg mixture. I found vanilla beans in Bella's pantry and added that as well. The recipe was my mother's but the vanilla bean was something I added on my own after some experimentation. I soaked the bread in the egg mixture as I poked around in the fridge. I found some strawberries and blueberries so I took those out to serve along side.

Right as I started to fry the bread E.J. came skipping back into the kitchen. His hair was wet but still stuck up in all directions exactly like mine did when I stepped out of the shower. He was in a navy blue polo shirt and jeans. I chuckled.

"Where's Mommy E.J.?" I was secretly loving calling Bella "Mommy". It just made my world seem all the more complete.

"She's taking a shower now. She had to help me wash my hair and get all that stuff out that Aunty Rosie put in my hair last night."

I laughed and plated up some toast and berries for E.J. before getting him the syrup and some orange juice. As he ate he hummed some unknown happy tune to himself as I continued to make breakfast for Bella and I. I started us some coffee and was just finishing up the toast when Bella came into the kitchen.

She was a vision in her khaki trousers and black sweater. She rubbed her hand on E.J.'s head before coming over towards me.

"Smells delicious," Bella said as she wrapped her arms around my waist, placing a kiss in the middle of my back.

"Mommy it's really good!" E.J. announced, "Maybe better than yours!"

"Oh really?" Bella asked, quirking a brow at me.

"It's Esme's recipe," I said, "But I just added in some of the vanilla bean I found. I hope you don't mind me using it?"

I turned around was met with Bella's breathtaking smile, her eyes slightly wet with tears. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into my chest.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered.

"Who's Esme?" E.J. asked. Bella and I broke apart and saw our son staring at us expectantly, waiting for an answer. I was amazed to see that he had already polished off his two pieces of toast and the berries.

"Oh," I started, "Well, Esme is my mother."

"So is she my family too?" E.J.'s eyes were wide and full of wonder. I looked down at Bella unsure of what to say and where to go with this. My parents still didn't know about E.J. Bella just smiled at me and nodded for me to continue.

"Yes son. She is your grandmother. And my father Carlisle, he is your grandfather."

"I have a grandma and a grandpa?"

I nodded, unsure of what he was going to say next. I felt Bella clutch to my waist tighter and it seemed she was just as unsure of what E.J.'s next questions were going to be too.

"Do they not love me?" I saw the tears threatening to spill over his eyes and my heart clenched tightly in my chest. This is what I was afraid of. Bella was immediately out of my arms and had E.J. wrapped up in hers in a second.

"No baby, no," Bella cooed, "They love you. They love you so much."

"Then how come I don't know them?"

"Oh baby, Grandpa Carlisle is a very important doctor. He is very busy helping people."

"He helps make people feel better?" E.J. sniffled.

"Yes E.J., Grandpa Carlisle heals people. He lives very far away from us so he can't leave his patients for very long."

"Where is he? Is Grandma Esme with him too?"

Bella looked at me then and I smiled, a plan forming in my head.

"Yes son," I said, kneeling down so I could look him in the eyes, "Grandma Esme helps decorate houses. Grandma and Grandpa live on the other side of the country. It's a very long flight on the airplane. Grandpa can't be away from his patients for that long so that's why they haven't come to see you."

I felt bad that this was sort of a lie, but it was true that Carlisle didn't like to be far from his patients in Forks.

"So they haven't come to New York because it is a long flight?"

"Yes son, but I have an idea."

Bella looked at me again, curiously with her brow raised.

"What if, we all went on a trip for Thanksgiving?" I asked, "What if we went to visit grandma and grandpa? I think you are old enough to handle the flight now E.J."

Bella's mouth hung open as she looked at me. I knew she hadn't been to Forks since she left and I also felt like she should go back and at least try to make some sort of peace with her father. There had to be some part of her that felt guilty for not being at his funeral. It was then I realized Bella and I REALLY had a lot to talk about.

"Mommy can we?!" E.J. squealed, "I wanna meet Grandma and Grandpa!"

Bella clamped her mouth shut and I wasn't sure if she was mad or not. "We'll talk about it baby."

Bella's voice was devoid of any emotion and I was scared now. E.J. chattered on about last night while Bella and I ate in silence, smiling and laughing when appropriate.

Mentally I was beating myself up. I shouldn't have said anything. I was so stupid and didn't even think about Esme and Carlisle. E.J. didn't know about them and I never would've thought he would think that they didn't love him. The trip during Thanksgiving seemed like a good idea at the time, but when Bella didn't respond I instantly regretted it. She hadn't even so much as looked at me now as we finished up breakfast.

"E.J. honey, why don't you go watch some cartoons, then maybe we'll call Uncle Em and Aunty Rosie and see if they want to come to the park?"

"Okay Mommy! Can Miss Alice and Mr. Whitlock come too?"

I turned and saw Bella smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, "Maybe baby. I'll ask."

"Okay! I'm gonna go watch Sponge Bob!" and with that E.J. scampered out towards the living room.

I turned back to continue washing the dishes as Bella came and stood at my side, beginning to dry.

"I want Em and Rose to watch him while you and I talk. We still have a lot more to discuss."

"Okay Bella," I whispered back, "And I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Edward," she whispered, the smile on her face not reaching her eyes.

**Well? Yes? No? I am liking writing all the cute Daddy Edward scenes. I guess I wanted to see more of that with Edward and Nessie in "Breaking Dawn." The song Edward sings in this chapter is Josh Groban's "Lullaby". **

**So…up next, Edward & Bella talk, and I have some people that I'm excited to introduce to you all. :-) Any guesses as to who they are?**

**Leave me some love please. All you guys adding my little ditty here to your subscriptions lists, I'm guessing you're enjoying this, so thanks for checking it out. Review if you can. Pretty please? :- )**


	16. Chapter 15: Make Me Smile

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Heeheehee…this chapter was amusing to write. I got totally derailed in the middle of writing it by Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments trilogy. It's addictively good! Like "Buffy…", "Twilight", "Harry Potter", and some "Lord of the Rings" thrown together. Good fricking reads. I recommend them. **

**To my dear friend ajenc: You're simply the best. I have no other words for you. **

**And I'm highly amused by xXiStillLoveHimXx's stories. You all should check them out. I see that some of you who also subscribe to my story also write, I promise to get around to checking out your stories too. :- )**

_**Oh my darling, got to have you**_

_**Feel the magic when I hold you**_

_**Cry sweet tears of joy**_

_**Touch the sky**_

_**Now I need you, more than ever**_

_**No more crying, we're together**_

_**Tell me you will stay **_

_**Make me smile**_

_**-Chicago, "Make Me Smile"**_

Chapter 15: Make Me Smile

I couldn't exactly tell you what I was feeling. All I knew was that it was cold as I sat here on the bench by myself. Despite the sun peeking out behind the clouds, the wind that whipped around my face was still cold. I let my thoughts swirl around in my head as I sat in my solitude. However, there was really only one question that kept reappearing in my mind: _Was this really happening?_ To say that I was shocked would be a gross understatement.

_Flashback_

_After finishing the dishes, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper all came by the apartment. E.J. squealed in delight when he saw Alice and the two jumped around together in excitement about going to the park. I couldn't even imagine what would've happened if I had a daughter. E.J. laced his fingers through Alice's and started pulling her out the door. _

"_Looks like you've got some competition Jasper," I whispered, chuckling. _

"_I wouldn't worry about it." I caught the tone he said it with and I glared. What the hell was he implying? I didn't get the chance to ask as my son came back through the open front door, Alice in tow behind him, yelling that the day was wasting. I chuckled as I saw Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all snap to attention and salute the little man. E.J. laughed and ran out the door with Alice again._

"_I'll call you later. Probably meet you at the park," I heard Bella say to Emmett. He nodded and headed out the door._

_Bella and I both stayed quiet as we walked back to my apartment. I grudgingly put the leather pants back on so I wouldn't freeze, but I refused to put the tunic thing back on. So we were walking at a rather fast pace back to my apartment, me in just my t-shirt and leather pants, while Bella was bundled up in her khaki pants, black sweater, and white coat._

_I left Bella in the living room and nervously went to go change. What would she say? Was she really angry with me? Did I just ruin things? My mind was racing with infinite possibilities. I slipped on some jeans and a long sleeve navy blue button down. My hair was a mess as I kept running my hands through it. _

_Bella was sitting on the couch, her legs tucked up under her body. She looked so much younger than a 25 year old, best selling author, and mother of a 5-year-old boy. She looked how I imagined she did when we were in high school. Her skin was pale but glowing against the black of her sweater, her face was bare of any make-up and she was gorgeous as she naturally was. I didn't even want to think about her eyes and hair. I hoped that everything I had said this morning wouldn't take this beautiful creature away from me again. _

_I nervously sat in the chair next to her again. Just like the other day, if I sat next to her I don't think I would be able to concentrate. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella begin to shake her head back and forth and I looked up to see her dead on._

"_Edward," she started as she continued to shake her head, "I…"_

_She sighed heavily and it only made me more nervous now for whatever it is she wanted to say. I swallowed the bitter taste that had risen up from my stomach. The raging thoughts in my head were telling me to expect the worst._

"_I…I want E.J. to know his family. I want him to know Esme and Carlisle, but I'm afraid of how they'll take it Edward and I don't want to hurt or disappoint E.J."_

"_Bella they'll love him!" I cried, unable to stop myself._

"_Edward please! I know they're your parents and I love them too…but you don't know how they're going to take it! I thought Charlie would've been supportive and look how well that turned out!"_

_I cringed at the venom in Bella's voice when she mentioned Charlie. I looked down at my hands._

"_Bella, I have to tell them…" I whispered._

"_I know," she sniffled, "I'm just scared. I'm such a coward."_

"_Bella!" I shouted, surprised we were going down this path again._

_Bella shook her head and buried her face into her hands. I heard her sobs and I immediately went to the couch and wrapped her up in my arms, pulling her into my lap. I had seen enough of her tears to last me a lifetime. Bella whimpered and nuzzled her head into my chest._

"_It's not fair…" she whispered._

"_What's not love?" I said as I stroked her hair._

"_Everything…it's not fair to E.J., to you, your parents…all the people I love most in the world. I've hurt you all so much. I've kept you all from each other for so long." _

_I pulled back so I could look into her eyes. They were red and puffy, tears streaming down her cheeks as she bit her bottom lip. I leaned forward and slowly kissed Bella's lips and drew back. Bella whimpered but I brought my hands up to cup her cheeks gently._

"_Bella, love, I understand why you did all of it. It was because you love me and wanted what was best for me and my future, but love, you have to know that what has ALWAYS been best for my future, is the future that is with you."_

_Bella let out a sob and pressed her forehead to mine. "Edward, I can't help but be scared. What if…what if they don't love him? What if they hate me?"_

_She whispered the last part and dropped her head from my hands. My hands froze in the air in shock over what she said. Did she really think that my parents would hate her and E.J.? They would never…well, at least they better not._

"_Bella love, we have to tell them. We have to talk to them. I don't plan on leaving your side again. My parents need to know about us."_

_We sat in silence for a few minutes. I wish I could know what she was thinking. She always knew me so well from my facial expressions._

"_Okay," Bella whispered, breaking me from my thoughts, "Let's call them."_

"_Now?" I asked, a little shocked._

"_Yes please Edward, and let me tell them about E.J. and everything."_

"_Bella, I-"_

"_Edward I have to explain! Please?"_

_I sighed and drew my cell phone out of my pocket. She remained on my lap as I dialed the number and put it on speaker. _

"_Hello?" I heard the sweet voice of my mother answer._

"_Hi Mom," I answered back. _

"_EDWARD!" my mother screamed, and I cringed. I talked to them once since I ran away from Forks, and when it came down to it, a weekly text message letting them know I was alive didn't really count as meaningful communication._

"_WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME OR YOUR FATHER BACK?!"_

_I cringed at my mother's voice and I felt Bella do the same. I sighed. This was going to be…interesting._

"_Sorry mom…a lot has…happened."_

"_Well, you better start explaining Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!"_

_I heard my father in the background and was slightly relieved Bella and I wouldn't have to make this call twice and that maybe my father would calm my mother down._

"_Edward Anthony, why haven't you called back?" my father said firmly. _

_I looked at Bella and I could tell that she was trying to hold back her laughter. She always thought it was funny when one or two or even my full name was whipped out when my parents were upset with me. _

"_Sorry," I muttered as I poked Bella in the side. She frowned and poked me back. I threw one more serious glance her way and then she raised her hands in surrender. _

""_Sorry' isn't enough Edward Anthony! Do you know how worried your mother and I have been? We thought something happened to you! Not answering any calls, Alice saying you weren't going to the store, text messages DO NOT COUNT! Explain now young man!"_

_Bella's eyes were wide as she looked at me. I guess I had quite a bit to explain too. I mouthed "later" and took a deep breath._

"_Well…you're never going to guess what happened…" I started._

"_Edward, spit it out young man!"_

"_I…um…" now I was nervous about how my parents were going to take things. They saw how much Bella leaving me had really crushed me. Would they be able to forgive her? What about E.J.? How would they-_

"_Hi Esme…Hi Carlisle."_

_I froze at the sound of Bella's voice and there was silence on the other end of the line as well._

"_I'm so sorry…about everything…I can't apologize enough for what I've done…" Bella whispered._

_I remained frozen as I listened to the breathing on the other line and Bella's soft sniffles._

"_Bella?" Esme finally whispered._

"_Hello Esme," Bella said softly._

"_Bella Swan?" Carlisle finally spoke, "Are you…are you there...with Edward?"_

_I finally snapped out of it, "Yes dad…Bella and I are…together."_

_I said it more of like a question and Bella's eyes snapped to mine. She smiled faintly at me and squeezed my forearm softly. _

"_Together? As in-"_

"_As in we are together and nothing is going to keep me from him ever again."_

_I was stunned into silence as I looked at Bella. She was smiling at me and I saw the tears that spilled over her cheeks. There was silence for a moment before my mother spoke._

"_Edward, is this true?" my mother asked, hesitantly. I didn't blame her for being wary of this, especially after the way I was after Bella disappeared._

"_It is," I said as I smiled back at Bella, "I wouldn't survive it again if we were parted." _

"_I'm…well…I'm speechless," my father said. _

"_Um…I…I actually have more to tell you…" Bella whispered._

_End flashback_

I shivered and pulled the collar of my grey coat up as the wind blew. Replaying the conversation, I couldn't help but breath a deep sigh of relief. My parents had taken everything well, except my mother started sobbing. She couldn't believe that Charlie would do that to Bella. My father's voice was strained and I could tell that he was clearly furious with the news. Bella actually brought up the Thanksgiving trip and my mother squealed in delight and agreement. My father chuckled in the background.

I knew Bella was excited to see my mother and father, though I could tell she was not too thrilled about being in Forks. There would no doubt be lots of talk and whispers…especially when she showed up with me and a little boy who looked like a miniature version of me. I just hoped she could handle it all. I hoped I could handle it all. I always had a temper when it came to what people said about me and Bella, and of course I was blind and I couldn't do anything about it then, but now…well, I just hoped I could control myself. If anyone said anything about Bella or E.J., there would be hell to pay.

I couldn't believe this was all happening. My parents knew the truth, Bella and I were together, E.J. would get to meet his grandparents, and we were returning to Forks together. I never thought that I would ever look forward to returning there after my years of avoiding it. At least this time, I wasn't going alone.

"DADDY!" E.J.'s squeal broke me out of my thoughts in time to see him running at me and catapult himself into my arms. I caught his small body easily and stood, spinning him in the air. He squealed and laughed as I kissed his head and stopped our spinning. I looked toward where he had come running from and saw Bella walking back towards us with Jasper piggy backing Alice. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting on a pair of swings laughing and talking. Bella and I decided to ask Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice to come to Forks as well. Jasper and Alice declined, Alice saying she wanted to hit the Black Friday sales in NYC and Jasper, well, he always went with whatever Alice decided. When I told my mother of Emmett and Rosalie's intentions of coming with us, she was overjoyed.

"Are you having fun son?" I said as I smiled and held E.J., still clinging to my shoulders.

"YES! Miss Alice is so much fun! She and I were running around and Uncle Em was chasing us and then Mommy-"

I didn't mean to tune out our son, but all my attention was diverted to Bella when she walked over and smiled before leaning up and kissing me on the cheek.

"Hi," Bella whispered in my ear. I turned and smiled at her, immediately pressing my lips to hers.

"MOMMY!" E.J. shouted, immediately gaining both our attention, "Look! Daddy and I are matching!"

I looked down and chuckled. E.J. was also wearing a grey pea coat over his jeans and navy blue polo shirt. My coat was also grey but I had a navy blue collared button up on instead of a polo.

Bella giggled, "You do match! It's adorable!"

Bella leaned forward and smothered E.J.'s face in kisses as he laughed and squealed. I laughed and caught Bella's lips with my own.

"Hey, watch what you do in front of the kid!" Alice chirped, as she and Jasper pulled up next to us.

I scowled while Bella just chuckled. E.J. shouted for "Miss Alice" and I put him down as he tugged her and they ran back towards the playground where Emmett and Rosalie were still swinging. Maybe Alice had finally found a match in E.J. Hopefully he could help her get rid of all her ridiculous energy. Bella, Jasper, and I all watched silently, smiling as we saw Emmett begin to chase E.J., Alice, and Rosalie around the playground. I think today might have been the only time I've ever seen Alice and Rosalie in flat shoes.

"Mommy! Come play!" E.J. shouted. Bella smiled and placed a quick kiss on my cheek before running off to join them. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face as I watched Bella run over and immediately get caught up in the game.

"You guys work everything out?" Jasper said quietly. His Southern drawl had the uncanny ability to put anyone at ease. Perhaps he really was well suited for teaching kindergarten.

"Yeah man…well, I'm sure there is more that will come up. I mean, 5 years is a lot to miss out on, but we'll be fine. We'll be better than fine." I couldn't help but smile at my words and the confidence behind them.

"We're all really happy for you Edward. I don't think I've ever seen you so…carefree and happy."

I frowned a little at the thought that I really had been so withdrawn and rather emotionless the past few years. Alice called me out on my moody behavior more than once. I only hoped now things would be different. I felt alive again and I hadn't felt this way since I was 19.

"Thank you Jasper. I know I haven't been…easy to deal with these past years. So I apologize for that too."

Jasper clapped a hand on my shoulder and I felt better instantly. Jasper was so easy going and it was impossible to feel anything but at ease in his presence. I heard Bella's squeal and I instantly looked over to the playground. And all I saw was red.

A huge tan-skinned man had my Bella swept up in his arms and was spinning her around in a hug. I barely felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder, which I easily shrugged off and stormed off towards the playground. The man put Bella down and she was smiling. It quickly faded when she took in my angry face and she shrugged out of the man's arms and walked towards me.

"Who the hell is that?" I hissed when Bella was close enough.

"Edward wait please-"

"Bells!" a new voice called out, and I turned and saw an equally large tan-skinned man come walking up.

"Hey," Bella said quietly. I couldn't help the jealousy that was still raging in me. I had always been insecure when we were in high school. I knew other boys thought Bella was attractive, especially that douche Newton. I trusted Bella and knew she would never betray our love…but being able to actually see these other guys acting towards Bella was a whole new experience. I was beyond jealous.

This guy walked up to Bella and placed a kiss on her cheek and my fists clenched tightly. When he stood back up and looked at me he froze before a smile crept across his face.

"Holy crow! Edward Cullen! How the hell are you?"

I froze and my face went blank as I felt all the blood leaving my face. This guy knew who I was? I jumped when I saw Bella reach back and punch the guy in the arm.

"SETH! You can't surprise him like that!"

Seth? Seth…Seth…Seth…SETH!!

"Seth Clearwater?!" I shouted.

Seth chuckled and pulled me into a huge bear hug, "Edward Cullen, it is good to see you man! And especially with Bella! Finally!"

Seth released me when Bella punched him in the arm again.

"Ouch Bells! I'm just saying. It took you long enough to grow a pair and go get this guy."

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips when Seth implied Bella had "grown a pair". She frowned at me and I quickly apologized.

"Sorry love," I said as I quickly placed a kiss on her pouting lips. She instantly smiled and I heard a gagging sound from Seth.

"Gross! Just like you guys were in high school."

Bella giggled and wormed her way into my arms and snuggled against my chest tightly.

"Bella! What's up girl?" The other man came over and joined us now.

"Not much," she said softly.

"Jacob Black," he said as he extended his hand towards me.

"Edward Cullen," I said as I shook his hand.

"Edward Cullen! Damn dude! My sister left me one of your paintings! It's sick!"

I smiled and said thanks quietly.

"So," I started, "How do you all know each other?"

"Edward I'm pretty sure you know how we know each other," Seth chuckled. I rolled my eyes as Jacob and Bella laughed.

"Well," Jacob said, "It's an interesting story. See, Seth and I are life partners."

I couldn't stop my eyes from bulging out of my head. All those years ago, I never would've thought that Seth was gay.

"You look surprised Edward?"

"I…well…no….I…"

Seth chuckled, "Don't worry man. It's kind of a huge thing to drop on someone you haven't seen in 5 years…or well, ever technically…"

Bella's fist collided with Seth's arm again and I wrapped her up tightly in my arms. If she kept that up she'd break a wrist and Seth…well, he wouldn't be bruised at all. Jacob rolled his eyes and chuckled when Seth pouted.

"Like you even felt that!" Jacob shouted before playfully punching Seth in the arm.

"Anyways, like I was saying," Jacob continued, "we're life partners. We met here in New York City. I had been living here with my sister and her husband, and Seth just moved here and was working at Macy's. Unfortunately my sister and her husband were killed in a car accident. Our parents died when we were little and my sister basically raised me. She and her husband had a daughter and I was left sole custody of her. She wasn't even a year old when they passed."

I saw Jacob's eyes glaze over slightly and I felt terrible. He had lost a huge part of him. I couldn't imagine what that was like. Maybe that's why he and Bella were such good friends. They understood the pain of losing someone they loved, while trying to raise another. Just then an adorable little girl with long dark hair came running up and attached herself to Seth's leg.

"Sethy! I beat E.J.!"

And soon enough E.J. came tearing towards us and wrapped himself around my leg.

"I let you win Nessie!" E.J. panted against my leg.

"Nessie!" Seth shouted as he picked the little girl up and she squealed.

"Well," Jacob chuckled, "this is Nessie, my little girl. And might I add, best friend of your son."

I raised my eyebrow at Bella and she blushed and looked down at the ground. Oh lord…is that what that tone was of Jasper's? E.J. had a little girl who was his best friend. Geez…I guess that apple didn't fall too far from the tree...

"E.J. is my boyfriend!" Nessie squealed. In that moment all four pairs of adult eyebrows shot up and E.J. giggled.

"Excuse me Vanessa Leah Black? He's your what?" Jacob asked.

"My boyfriend Daddy! A boy who is my best friend!"

Bella and I both laughed and Jacob shot us both a glare. Seth kissed Nessie's cheek and set her down and she and E.J. both took off back towards the playground and squealed immediately when Emmett starting chasing them.

"My girl is NOT dating your son or any other boy til she's 30…" Jacob muttered.

Bella giggled, "Oh relax Jake! We have a while before dating becomes an issue."

"Oh please," Seth laughed, "You two were best friends growing up and were dating when you were 13!"

Jacob scowled at Bella and I growled at Seth, "Not helping Clearwater…"

"Oh all of you relax! They're 5 years old!"

I noticed everyone visibly relax and I sighed. Jasper trotted over and shook hands with Seth and Jacob. Nessie was also in Jasper's kindergarten class. We all talked for a while and watched the kids run around with Emmett, Alice, and surprisingly enough, Rosalie still. I watched her with them and I hoped that soon she would be a mother. We all knew she loved kids and even though she was a hard ass lawyer, she was great with kids.

Seth and Jacob had run into Bella at a parent meeting at the beginning of the year. Bella told them everything and immediately swore Seth & Jacob to secrecy and that they couldn't tell anyone. Bella rolled her eyes when Seth mentioned that he also told Bella she needed to come clean with me. We laughed and caught up. I was shocked to learn the painting Jacob's sister had was one of the first ones I ever did. Jacob worked downtown as a financial analyst while Seth no longer worked at Macy's, but had gone back to school at NYU for a Master's in Psychology. They actually lived in the Meat Packing District but loved Jasper's school and only wanted the best for Nessie. Seth picked her up after classes.

It appeared that they also knew about "Izzie McCarty" and Seth teased Bella endlessly about it. Seth's physical size was never something I would've considered when we were growing up. Charlie and Sue had been dating for a while and we met Seth soon after. He was always happy and positive. I never would've imagined he was such a tall hulking figure.

After taking the kids to get some Tasti-D-Lite, we agreed to make more play dates for Nessie and E.J. I told Jacob to stop by the store if he wanted to see any new paintings. Bella had invited everyone back for some dinner and a movie night, but Jacob, Seth, and Nessie had to get home.

E.J. was excitedly bouncing in my lap in the taxi as we headed home. He told Bella and I all about their game and how Emmett was pretending to be an evil monster chasing them all. He also told us all about Nessie being his best friend.

"Mommy was your best friend when you were little right?" E.J. asked me.

I smiled at Bella before nodding, "We've been together since we were 11 years old."

"Will I be with Nessie forever just like you and mommy?"

My eyes went wide and I looked over at Bella for help. She giggled before she answered, "Maybe E.J….you and Nessie also share a special friendship. Just like me and your daddy did."

"I think Kate and Garrett are going to be our friends forever too. I can't wait for you to meet them too Daddy!"

I smiled as my son went on about his friends. Bella rested her head on my shoulder as our taxi made it's way back to Bella's home. There was still so much to think about and talk about. We hadn't talked specifically about where E.J. had thought I had been all this time and why. I didn't know what I said in these supposed letters I wrote from Paris. I also didn't know how we would explain where I was living. As I was thinking Bella slid her tiny hand into mine and laced our fingers. I sighed and in that moment I knew that we would be okay.

Emmett and Jasper had gone to the market to get food to prepare tonight. They were going to make some burgers and apparently Jasper had a "wicked" BBQ sauce that he has been holding out on all of us. So it was just the little man, the ladies, and I when we got back to Bella's place. Cameron greeted us and high-fived E.J. as we all went in. E.J. had asked for a piggyback ride so I held him as Bella, Alice, and Rosalie all discussed preparing dinner. It was a little last minute, but I couldn't complain. Life felt pretty much complete, and with Thanksgiving coming in a little over three weeks, I believed that everything was going to be even better once my mother & father were involved.

The ladies had wandered quite a bit ahead of E.J. and I as we arrived back at Bella's penthouse. Just as I placed E.J. down in the living room, Alice called my name in that tone of hers that meant she wanted something.

"Yes Alice?" I said as I walked into the kitchen where the girls were all sitting.

"Actually, Bella wanted to ask you something," the pixie chirped.

I glanced towards Bella who was flushed and I wondered what had made her so red faced. Before I could ask her, Alice spoke again.

"Do you think you can help E.J. with his bath? Us girls are going to get dinner started and have some girl time."

"Oh," I said, my brows furrowing a bit, "sure."

"He doesn't have to get into his pajamas yet," Bella said, still blushing, "but I'd rather he just bathe now since he's all sweaty from running around at the playground."

I was confused as to why this request would have Bella blushing, but I just nodded.

"Oh, and he can have a bubble bath tonight since it's the weekend. He'll probably be playing in there for a while," Rosalie added.

"Oh…okay. Is everything in the bathroom downstairs?"

"Yes, in the cabinets under the sink," Bella answered.

I stepped out of the kitchen and couldn't help but feel like they were desperately trying to get rid of me. I made my way to the bathroom, wanting to prepare E.J.'s bath first. Truth be told, I was a little uncomfortable. What were the rules about these kinds of things? Had I raised E.J. from birth, I probably wouldn't be uncomfortable, but this was different. I couldn't help but think of Adam Sandler in "Big Daddy." What were the rules about adults and children and being naked? Even if the kid is your own? Good lord, I have so much to learn about being a father…

_BPOV_

I could still feel the heat on my cheeks even after Edward stepped out of the kitchen. I heard Alice and Rosalie stifling their giggles and I whirled around to face them, a scowl on my face.

"Was that really necessary?" I hissed.

Rosalie couldn't hold back any longer and she burst out laughing, barely staying on her feet and clutching to the counter tightly.

"Oh Bella…" she heaved, barely able to breathe, "your face!"

Another fit of laughter hit and Rosalie was speechless. I turned my glare to Alice as I saw her wipe a tear from her eye.

"Okay, okay," Alice finally said, definitely calmer than Rosalie at the moment, "I'm sorry…WE'RE sorry. We didn't mean to embarrass you."

I still sulked. Even in high school I was uncomfortable discussing my sex life with anyone, even Angela. All I could tell her, without getting too embarrassed was that Edward and I had "done it." Alice and Rosalie's comments were really not that bad, but I never really had girlfriends other than Angela, and we were both so shy that even the most personal and intimate thoughts weren't shared between best friends.

_Flashback_

_I smiled as I heard Edward and E.J. trailing behind us in the hallway. I couldn't hear what they were specifically talking about but I heard E.J.'s laugh. I opened the door and let Alice and Rosalie in, leaving the door open for Edward and E.J. As I entered the kitchen, the pixie attacked._

"_So Bella, I hear that Edward spent the night last night."_

_I couldn't help it and I immediately turned red. Rosalie caught on and squealed._

"_BELLA! Wasn't E.J. home? Did you and Edward…?"_

"_What?!" I barely choked out._

"_Wow Bella…that's brave. Especially after what Emmett has told me about your sleep talking. With the way he says you screamed Edward's name and moaned, I surprised you didn't wake the kid up."_

"_I…what…" I stuttered._

"_I say we ask Edward for confirmation!" Alice chirped. I blanched as she called him into the kitchen._

_End flashback_

"You are an EVIL little pixie!" I pouted.

"Excuse me? I just got you out of bath time duty! Just wait til I save your ass from diaper duty and make Edward do it!"

I blanched, "I-I…um…"

"RELAX Bella," Alice said, "I know these things and don't worry, you've got some time."

And with that Alice pranced over to the refrigerator. I looked at Rosalie, completely stunned by what Alice just said. Rosalie simply shrugged at me. That certainly threw me for a loop. Diaper duty? That meant another baby. Edward and I had just gotten back together for crying out loud! Did he say something to Alice? Did Edward want to have more kids? Was he already thinking about those kinds of things? I was lost in my musings and worked on a salad, completely oblivious to Alice & Rosalie's discussion about Manolos vs. Louboutins.

"So Bella," Rosalie said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "You never did say what you and Edward did last night."

She wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively, a habit she picked up from Emmett. I inwardly groaned. As if getting teased by Emmett all those years ago wasn't enough.

"E.J. had a nightmare, he asked Edward to stay, we all shared my bed, nothing happened," I mumbled.

"Nothing happened?" Alice asked, disbelief written all over her face.

"What did you expect to happen?" I snapped, "Our son was lying in between us!"

Alice and Rosalie looked shocked by my biting response.

"Sorry," I muttered.

Alice and Rosalie looked at each other before Rosalie spoke. "Honestly Bella, Alice and I don't mean to offend you. It's just Emmett was so sure you two would jump each other as soon as you got the chance. And honestly, I think we all were sure that was going to happen. Edward told us all last year when he was drunk on his birthday that he's never had sex with anyone else."

Rosalie's last comment totally threw me and I sliced my finger by accident.

"OW!" I yelped and dropped the knife immediately, my feet doing a little dance like they were on fire.

"Bella!" Edward cried, suddenly appearing in the kitchen.

"Edward!" I screamed, my toe hitting the counter, "OW! OW! OW!"

Edward quickly rushed to my side, "Bella, love, let me see."

My eyes clenched shut and the smell of blood was making me woozy. I swayed and Edward caught me before I went into the counter, immediately scooping me up in his arms.

"Rosalie, E.J. is in his room. Can you help him find some clothes? Alice, the kitchen?"

I heard Rosalie and Alice respond but the smell of blood was heavy despite the probably miniscule cut on my finger, and I couldn't open my eyes. I felt my head loll back and heard Edward distinctly shout my name. My forehead rested against his shoulder and I could feel the muscles I got a glimpse of last night rippling against my body as he held me to his chest tightly.

Barely registering Edward had taken me upstairs to the master bathroom connected to my room, I felt him sitting with me in his arms. I faintly heard the sound of water turning on and felt Edward's hand prying my own away from the cut on my finger.

"Bella, love, can you hear me?" Edward asked softly.

"Mmmhmmm…" I mumbled, "The blood…"

I felt Edward wrapping something around my finger and pressing tightly, "Keep your eyes closed Bella."

I nodded and in my faint recollection of what just happened, I remembered something about babies and Edward saying something about love. I couldn't help but let my lips curve up into a smile. In my hazy mind, I wanted to make another baby with Edward. Making a baby with Edward meant getting to have sex with him. Mmmmmm…sex with Edward…

"BELLA!" Edward shouted loudly. My head felt heavy as I tried to raise it from where it had slipped off his shoulder.

"Edward…" I whispered.

"Are you with me Bella?"

"Always…" I whispered, a smile of my face. I felt Edward stand and move again. Soon enough my body came into contact with the soft heavenly feel of my bed. I frowned as Edward's strong arms left me and I felt his presence move away from me.

"Edward…" I moaned, as I tried to sit up. I felt dizzy and immediately fell back into the pillows.

"I'm here love," Edward whispered as I felt something cool touch my forehead. I smiled.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked softly as he held the cold compress against my forehead.

"Mmmmmm…you haven't had sex in over 6 years."

Edward coughed loudly a few times before he choked out, "Excuse me?"

"Rosalie said you've only had sex with me. Was she lying?"

I slowly let my eyelids open and I saw Edward sitting next to me, one hand holding the compress to my forehead and the other running nervously through his hair.

"She wasn't lying…" Edward said quietly.

I closed my eyes and smiled, still feeling light headed, "Good…it's only been you too."

I heard Edward's breathing hitch before he started chuckling softly, "Bella, I think you're a little woozy still. Rest now. I'll help finish dinner."

I tried to sit up, protesting, but my head started spinning and I fell back again. I felt Edward's lips press softly to mine before he whispered,

"Rest now love."

"Mmmm…." I hummed, "Love…"

The last thing I heard before I fell into a pleasant dream was Edward's musical laughter coming from somewhere in the room.

_EPOV_

After shutting the bedroom door, I staggered into a wall and caught myself as my brain attempted to catch up with my ears. The smell of blood must hit Bella harder than I thought. I knew she fainted in high school during blood typing in Biology, but I didn't know it made her mind completely jumbled. I mean, what the crap?! I swear I will never understand what goes on in Bella's mind even when she's not woozy, but good lord! I never expected what she had said in her bedroom just now!

When my breathing was finally under control and my legs gained their motion back, I headed back downstairs. Emmett and Jasper had returned and apparently taken over the kitchen getting the burgers ready. I peaked in and saw my son sitting on a stool asking Jasper all about what he was doing. I had to wonder if that's what he is like in Jasper's class too. This however, was perfect. That meant Alice and Rosalie were together and they could explain to me what the hell happened earlier.

Sure enough, they were sitting in the living room. Alice immediately jumped off the sofa and was in front of me before I could barely even blink. Rosalie was not far behind.

"Is Bella okay?" Rosalie asked quietly, not wanting to alert E.J.

"She's fine. Just a small cut on her finger, no bigger than a paper cut. Blood makes her faint."

"How is it that _a girl_ can be hemophobic? I mean once a month-"

"ALICE!" I shouted, then dropped back to a lower voice, "Can we not discuss such things please?"

Rosalie and Alice both giggled and I scowled. Yeah my Dad is a doctor and yeah I paid attention in Biology, but honestly, there's no need to discuss the bodily functions of a female with these two.

"Sorry, sorry…" Alice chuckled.

"What happened in the kitchen?" I demanded.

"Bella was cutting stuff up for the salad and I guess her hand slipped."

I knew Bella was clumsy but never in the kitchen. As far as I knew, she had never had an actual accident in the kitchen and my mother had told me that Bella handled knives like a pro when she would cook in our kitchen.

"What were you guys talking about?"

"Oh…" Alice looked down and kicked her foot against the floor, "Rosalie?"

I saw Rosalie look at Alice and scowl before letting out a large huff of irritation. "FINE. It was really nothing Edward. I was just telling her about your birthday party last year and the things we discussed after you and Jack Daniels became best friends."

I felt all the color leave my face. According to Jasper I had said A LOT of things that night, but Bella was definitely the big topic of the night.

"What _things_ Rosalie?" I was getting impatient. True, Bella and I were back together now, but we still had so much to talk about. We were still going over what she had been doing the past six years and hadn't even begun to address what I had been doing.

"OKAY! Fine, so I might've told her how you told us that you haven't had sex with anyone else but Bella."

And what little color that had returned to my face was gone again. It wasn't that I wanted Bella to think that I had slept with other girls, but I didn't want her to hear about it from anyone else but me. Then she had to tell me that there hasn't been anyone else for her also? I wanted to believe her, but she was so woozy I doubt she knew what she was really talking about. We had only really been back together for a couple of days. I would take EVERYTHING as slow or as fast as needed to insure that Bella and E.J. would forever be a part of my life. I must've stayed silent for too long because suddenly Alice's arms were wrapped around my waist.

"Oh Edward! I'm sorry! This is a good thing though!"

I frowned and looked down, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on Edward," Rosalie sighed, rolling her eyes, "you being the prude that you are, sex would've been the last thing you and Bella discussed, no matter how badly you want to rip each others clothes off."

"ROSALIE!" Alice shouted, stomping her now stiletto clad foot on the floor, "so not okay!"

"Whatever," she huffed, "we ALL know it's true. Dear lord I felt like the playground was going to burn down with the way these two were trying to sneak looks at each other."

"Christ Rosalie!" I shouted, Alice letting go as I started pacing, "I haven't even taken Bella on a proper date! I've never taken her on a date EVER! I want to do this right this time! I want to be the one taking care of her!"

"Well, you better do something about that soon before you two burn down the city with the smoldering looks you're giving each other."

"I was planning on asking Bella after dinner."

"Planning on asking me what?"

All three of us jumped and turned in surprise. Bella was walking down the stairs slowly, still cradling the hand with the cut on her finger. I immediately jumped forward.

"Let me get a bandage on your cut Bella."

"We'll leave you two to talk," Alice said as she linked arms with Rosalie. I could hear the two whispering and giggling as they went back into the kitchen. Bella didn't say anything as I walked with her into the bathroom next to E.J.'s room.

"Wow Edward," Bella said, freezing in the doorway, almost causing me to run straight into her, "you didn't have to clean the entire bathroom after E.J.'s bath."

"It was nothing," I waved my free hand as the other pushed on her lower back and guided her to sit on the closed toilet lid. She sat as I found the band-aids in the cabinet and some anti-bacterial ointment.

"Close your eyes Bella," I whispered as I knelt down in front of her and picked up her tiny hand. Bella turned away and clenched her eyes shut as I applied the ointment and covered everything securely with the band-aid. I brought her hand to my lips and placed a feather-light kiss on her little injury. Her breathing hitched and couldn't help the smile on my face as I looked up to meet her open brown orbs.

"All better my Bella," I whispered. She smiled gratefully at me and I was lost in her eyes as she gently traced my cheekbone with her fingertips.

"What is it that you're planning to ask me?" she whispered.

I knew it was silly to feel so nervous. I mean, Bella and I were back together and we had declared to my parents and our friends, and OUR SON, that we were together forever now, but I was still so nervous! You would think we had NEVER dated! I felt like I was 13 years old all over again.

Every feeling of nervousness was wiped from my body when Bella whispered, "You can ask me anything. Trust Edward."

_Trust Edward._ How many times had she said that to me all those years ago? How many times had we put our, for lack of a better word, blind faith in each other? Trust. I trusted Bella. Hell, I love Isabella Marie Swan.

"Bella," I whispered as I brought a hand up to stroke her now blushing cheek, "will you go out on a date with me next week Saturday?"

**Well? Yes? No? I'm sorry if it seems slow again, but I did bring in Seth like I promised! And he even brought along some friends! :- ) And yeah…I made Nessie Jake's "daughter" cuz man, it was a little too weird for me that the love of his life in the books was a baby. "Woozy" Bella made me laugh a bit too. Some PM's (without leaving reviews, how rude) have asked me for more…lemony goodness. Well, too bad. You'll just have to be patient like Bella & Edward. :-P **

**And I've been to New York City numerous times, but I need suggestions for their first official date. Where should they go? I'd love to hear some suggestions. :- )**

**Well, thank you for reading. Make me smile and review! Pretty please? :-P (Especially if you're one of those people asking for the lemons in PM's but not leaving reviews!)**

**P.S. Has anyone read the Mortal Instruments series? My friends have yet to jump onboard this series with me (some of them are still reading Twilight & Harry Potter for crying out loud) and I need someone to discuss with. Anyone? :-P **


	17. Chapter 16: First Date

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: This took me longer to write than I thought it would. I achieved my goal for the summer of being as tan as possible before heading back to the mainland. If I stood next to Rob Pattinson now, I'd make him look like a sickly albino. :-P **

**Thank you as always ajenc for your awesome help. You're the best. :- )**

**Homebody, feel free to PM me when you have the time. I'm glad you're still with me on this one. **

**And peacelove'n'bloodlust, thank you for your comment and welcome aboard! **

_**In the car I just can't wait**_

_**To pick you up on our very first date**_

_**Is it cool if I hold your hand?**_

_**Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?**_

_**Do you like my stupid hair?**_

_**Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?**_

_**I'm too scared of what you think**_

_**You make me nervous so I really can't eat**_

_**Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over**_

_**Honest, let's make this night last forever**_

_**Forever and ever, let's make this last forever**_

_-Blink 182, "First Date"_

Chapter 16: First Date

"Daddy! I wanna go with you and Mommy!"

I ran a hand through my already disheveled hair. Tonight was technically my first date with Bella. I had pulled out all the stops for us. Romantic dinner, flowers, limo…I wanted to give Bella every ounce of romance, no matter how stereotypical, that I couldn't give her when we were in high school. Let's face it, when you're a guy, there is nothing romantic about having to have your girlfriend drive you everywhere in her beat up red truck. Not that I could really do much about it since I was blind, but I won't lie and say that it wasn't a little emasculating.

"Please Daddy!" E.J. pleaded again, sitting on the edge on my bed pouting.

However much Bella and I DIDN'T want our date to be made a huge event, our friends had blown it out of proportion. I shouldn't have told the meddlesome pixie any of my plans. And now my son was pouting on my bed as I stood around in my pajama pants trying to figure out what to wear and tame my hair. I really could've used Alice's help for once.

Unfortunately Alice decided that the girls would all have a "girls' day" and the boys could all have a boys' day. That also included the girls all getting Bella ready at her apartment and the boys all over at my apartment until it was time for me to leave with the limo to get Bella. So E.J. was pouting on my bed, while Ben and Seth attempted to look for something in my closet for me to wear. Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob were watching television in the living room. Alice, Rosalie, Angela, and Nessie were all with my Bella. I had no idea what the girls did today.

We boys spent the majority of the day at Chelsea Piers. E.J. really wanted to learn about baseball so Jasper helped him with the batting cages. Aside from running, sports weren't really my strong suit. I didn't mind watching them, but learning to play them had not been high on my list of things to do in the past 6 years. As I watched Jasper coach E.J., I couldn't help but wonder what he and Alice would be like as parents. I recall chuckling to myself when I thought of them having a daughter and the kind of havoc that would cause in Jasper's life.

We all took turns in the batting cages, I was horrendous, but the look E.J. gave me made me forget all about striking out repeatedly. He honestly looked at me like I was better than Ichiro Suzuki, his baseball hero. We also tried some rock climbing (E.J. hanging from 20 feet in the air proved to be way too much for my nerves, so he only went once), hitting golf balls (Seth was surprisingly good), and shot some basketballs. We headed back uptown, grabbing pizza near Central Park, stopping to play in the park after lunch. A simple game of tag turned into quite the epic showdown between Emmett and Jasper.

"DADDY!" I turned and looked at E.J. His pout was firmly in place, "Please!"

I let out a loud breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. I really had no experience here and I had no idea what to do. How did I explain?

"E.J., I…I'm sorry but Mommy and I are going on a special dinner date."

"But I wanna go too! Aren't you and Mommy married? Married people don't need to go on dates!"

I froze, completely unable to speak. We hadn't really had time to sit down with E.J. and talk to him about why this was my apartment and ask him what he felt about where I had been the past six years. I was more than sure he was confused. Thrilled that his father was truly in his life now, but completely confused.

"What makes you say that son?" I choked out as I brushed my hair around my head.

"This boy Paul in class said all Mommies and Daddies are married!"

Jasper walked in the door at that moment to check our progress and E.J. spotted him. E.J. regarded Mr. Whitlock as the answer for EVERYTHING.

"MR. WHITLOCK! Tell Daddy!"

Jasper looked like a deer in headlights, completely unaware of what he had just walked into. He took in my hand pulling on my hair and E.J.'s glassy eyes as tears threatened to spill over. I immediately decided that tomorrow Bella, E.J., and I were all going to sit down and talk about the past six years. It was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to having, and was praying that E.J. would understand.

Jasper cleared his throat, "Tell your Daddy what E.J.?"

"That mommies and daddies are all married and that married people don't go on dates!"

Jasper's eyes went wide before he let out a soft noise that I knew was the one he made when Alice was being completely neurotic and ridiculous and he couldn't help but laugh at her but didn't want to get into trouble with her. Now he was doing it to me so I wouldn't be mad at him. I scowled at him. Jasper cleared his throat.

"Well, E.J., that's not actually true. Not all mommies and daddies are married, and you know that your Uncle Emmett and Aunty Rosalie are married, and they go on dates all the time."

E.J.'s eyes got that look that every child gets when they learn something new and completely mind blowing.

"Reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy?" he drew out, looking away from Jasper and I, like this was the most shocking news of his young life. Ben and Seth had been standing in my closet doorway listening to this whole scene. Ben cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"Yeah E.J. Miss Angela and I are married and we go on dates all the time."

E.J.'s brows furrowed and all adult eyes watched him carefully. "But Quil said that his mommy told him that she and his daddy never go on dates."

Jasper coughed rather violently at that and luckily Ben spoke up. "Tell you what E.J., why don't you and I go find Uncle Emmett and he'll tell you all about how married people go on dates all the time."

E.J. seemed to perk up at that. If Jasper didn't know the answer to something, Emmett was next in line, then Ben, and I followed. I tried not to let it get me. I had, after all, been absent from his life for nearly 6 years, he received letters that weren't from me, he knew that I had been in the city all this time, and that Bella ran away with him before he was born. I know she told him that I didn't know about him, but I couldn't help but feel like E.J. thought I was lying, and that he really felt like I didn't want him.

I jumped when E.J. wrapped his arms around my leg and sniffled, asking me softly, "Will I at least get to see you and Mommy later tonight Daddy?"

I quickly bent down and picked him up, wiping the tears from his cheeks. Seeing tears on Bella's cheek were like a punch to the gut for me and my heart ached. Seeing E.J.'s tears was pretty much just as bad.

"We'll be home later tonight. I promise Edward James."

E.J. pressed his face into my neck and he squeezed my neck tighter. It was almost as if he was afraid that he was going to lose me. I patted his back softly as I noticed that Seth, Ben, and Jasper had all left the room, but I noticed they left my outfit on the bed. I held E.J. tighter to me before I turned my head and placed a kiss in his hair.

"How about you, Mommy, and I spend the day together tomorrow? We'll go eat, maybe go to the Museum or the park?" I questioned softly.

"Okay Daddy," E.J. said as he pulled back to look at me, his eyes a dark, almost brown.

"Mommy and I want to talk to you about some things too."

E.J.'s lower lip was immediately between his teeth, "Am I in trouble?"

I laughed. It was the stereotypical child response. "No son. You're not in any trouble. Mommy and I just want to talk to you."

E.J. furrowed his brows for a second before he smiled and said, "Okay!"

I moved back over towards the bed, throwing a squealing E.J. into the middle of it. He rolled over laughing as I examined the suit that Seth and Ben had laid out for me. I didn't even realize I had a suit like this until I examined the tag and then groaned. OF COURSE it was designed by Alice and magically appeared in my closet. Maybe the pixie was magical after all.

"I like this Daddy!" I glanced over at my son, now standing on the bed, his little frame completely drowning in my silvery grey blazer.

"You do huh?" I asked as I moved and walked into my bathroom and threw the dress pants on.

"Yeah…but I don't want to wear one. It's too grown up."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I continued getting ready. E.J. seemed to accept that he wasn't coming out tonight with Bella and I and continued to bounce lightly on my bed, looking inside the pockets of the blazer. As I finished buttoning up the black long sleeved collared shirt, E.J. spoke again.

"Daddy, what's this?"

If I had been eating or drinking anything, I surely would've choked on it and died…and I almost wanted to from sheer embarrassment. My son's eyes were squinting and attempting to read words that were, thank the lord, too advanced for him and in his little fingers he held a small foil package.

"Nothing!" I shouted quickly, "That belongs to your Uncle Emmett."

"Is it a candy?"

"NO! Um…it's…um…just go return it to your Uncle Emmett!"

"Okay!" E.J. bounced off the bed and tumbled to the ground in the heap. My heart lurched in my chest and I stopped breathing until I heard him laughing.

"That was fun Daddy!" E.J. laughed as he rolled over, "Can I do it again?"

I let out a shaky breath and laughed. I had to keep reminding myself of Jasper's words to me. _"Kids fall down all the time. They are amazingly resilient. Every tumble doesn't automatically mean tears and blood." _I had a feeling that no matter what happened or how old E.J. got, my heart would always clench when he fell.

"Whoa…I DO NOT want Alice upset with me because your Daddy's jacket is all wrinkled!" Ben chuckled from the doorway.

E.J. rolled over and stood, shrugging out of my blazer and handing it to me. "Is Uncle Em outside Mr. Ben?"

Ben nodded and E.J. skipped out of the room. I took the jacket and headed down the hallway and was greeted with ridiculous laughter in my living room. Jacob and Seth had fallen off the couch and were laughing hysterically at a VERY red Emmett. Jasper had a hand over his mouth and was clearly smirking underneath it.

"Well? What is it for Uncle Em? Daddy already said it's not food!"

Ben and I both doubled over in laughter as Emmett turned redder.

"Thanks a lot Edward…" Emmett muttered.

Seth cleared his throat, "Well men, it is 5:50. I say we head over to get our girls and send our little Edward and Bella on their first date."

E.J. was laughing from his place on Emmett's shoulder. Emmett was tickling him and laughing, thought I'm sure he was laughing like everyone else at the scowl on my face after Seth's comment. We all shrugged on our jackets and coats, the weather turning cooler, and made our way down to the limo.

I had even gone the stereotypical route and bought Bella flowers. It was an exquisite bouquet of orchids and lavender roses. The florist told me the orchids represented rare and delicate beauty. It was the lavender roses that sealed the deal after her explanation. Lavender roses represented feelings of love at first sight. After everything that we had been through, I couldn't help but believe in love at first sight. Even when I didn't know who Bella was and she was still my mystery woman from the party, I was inexplicably drawn to her. If that wasn't love at first sight, then I don't know what else could be.

Cameron was working as we made out way into Bella's building. We all greeted him and he whistled low when he saw the limo.

"Special occasion Mr. Cullen?"

I smiled, "No…just making up for lost time."

"So you won't be returning to Paris then?" Cameron asked.

"No…not anytime soon." I couldn't help my smile and it remained on my face until the elevator opened on Bella's floor. I don't know who was more excited to get to Bella's door: E.J., Emmett, Jasper, or Jacob. Seth and Ben lingered in the back with me.

Ben chuckled, "You know, for some reason, this kind of reminds me of our Prom."

I coughed loudly. Prom…that held so many different memories for me now. Bella had figured out that Prom and our first time had to have been the date of E.J.'s conception.

"What makes you say that?" I chuckled shakily, my thoughts in a completely different place.

"Well, I mean, you remember right? You, me, Ang, and Bella all met at Bella's house. I picked you up from your house and we met the girls there? Kind of feels like that now, walking to go meet our girls. Except you're the only one with flowers."

"HAH!" Seth snorted, "I remember that! My mom had dragged my sister and me over there since Charlie was in Seattle. I don't know why I had to be there! Not like I was any help getting Angela and Bella ready!"

We laughed and headed into Bella's open doorway. Angela immediately came to Ben's side and started to whisper excitedly in his ear. I heard the squeals from Nessie and saw Seth toss her in the air and catch her again.

"Where's E.J.?" I asked the room, not seeing the little guy anywhere.

"Oh he's upstairs," Rosalie answered, "Alice is putting the finishing touches on Bella's look and E.J. wanted to see."

I groaned, "Rosalie, I hope you guys were able to rein Alice in and she didn't go overboard?"

"Relax Edward," Angela said, "I know you guys didn't want to make a big deal out of this, but this is a really big deal. We've ALL been waiting for you and Bella to get back together. We're all so happy for you guys."

I looked around the room and everyone was smiling at me. Looking around the room and knowing who was upstairs, it was almost overwhelming, knowing just how much all our friends (and family) cared so much about us. Bella and I might have complained about having them make such a big deal out tonight, but in the end, tonight was for all of them as well. They had all been on this rollercoaster ride with Bella and I.

"Oh Edward…" the bell-like voice of Alice Brandon floated down the stairs. We all looked up as Alice came prancing down the stairs hand in hand with E.J., huge grins spread across both their faces. I glanced at Jasper, who was practically radiating with his love for Alice, and noticed everyone else in the room seem to light up and smile as well. I felt my own smile spread across my face.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," Alice smiled as she came up to me, E.J. letting go of her hand and wrapping an arm around my leg, "prepare to meet Isabella Marie Swan."

I heard the soft footsteps at the top of the staircase and immediately let my eyes go in that direction. I couldn't breath and it felt like a wrecking ball had hit me straight in the chest.

_**BPOV**_

"Alice…" I whined, "Is this really necessary?"

Alice, Rosalie, Angela, Nessie, and I were in New Moon, having an all girls day, and getting me ready for tonight. I pouted at the fact that I hadn't seen Edward all morning. We had been shopping for four hours now, breaking for an hour to eat lunch, and this was supposedly the last stop.

"ISABELLA SWAN!" Alice yelled from behind the door as I cringed, "You march out here RIGHT NOW and let us all see the dress!"

I fidgeted nervously with the dress. I insisted on a long dress since it was going to be cold tonight and I automatically threw out all of the short, tight dresses Alice had. I scowled when she told me that no matter what I was going home with the clothes because she designed them for me. I wasn't sure about the dress I had on now though. It had no back, but the neckline reminded me of an Egyptian queen or something. The gold thread was embroidered into a petal-like pattern. The blue made my skin glow. I loved the color, but the back was making me nervous.

Slowly I turned the handle and opened the door and was met with squeals from all four girls.

"BELLA!" Rosalie, Alice, and Angela screamed. Nessie was playing with some long necklaces and scarves, looking like a rainbow colored mummy.

"This is the one!" Alice squealed, jumping up and down in place as she spun me around in a circle.

"You look like a princess Aunty Bella!" Nessie chirped as she added another scarf to her head.

"Edward won't know what hit him!" Rosalie stated as she began twisting my hair up and holding in different places.

I started to fidget and pull at the dress. Alice immediately slapped my hands away as she noted if she needed to adjust anything.

"I'm just so nervous you guys," I whispered, "I feel like…like, no matter what I'll never be beautiful enough to stand next to Edward."

"BELLA!" all three adult females screamed at me.

"Oh Bella," Angela sighed, "This reminds me so much of your first date after you got your license."

I wrinkled my nose. I remembered that. I was so nervous because I was driving us on our "first date". Usually if Edward and I were going on a date, Esme dropped us off in Port Angeles. Or a date consisted of Edward and I hanging out at his house. That Port Angeles date was a big one since it was the first time I drove us. I was so nervous about how I looked.

"I remember," I sighed, "I think I'm even more nervous now."

"Oh Bella," Rosalie sighed, "You have no reason to be. You are going to look so beautiful tonight and Edward is going to look handsome and you two are going to have the most romantic first date."

Alice clapped her hands excitedly, "I knew this was going to fit you perfectly! I don't have to adjust a thing!"

"Just remember Bells," Angela said softly, "You and Edward belong together."

I felt my eyes water a little. These three girls were turning out to be some of my best friends. True, I haven't known Alice long, but the four of us fit together perfectly. I chuckled as I compared us to the "Sex & the City" girls.

"What's so funny?" Rosalie asked as she shifted through hair clips on the counter.

"Nothing," I smiled, "Just thinking."

"You should wear these Aunty Bella!" I turned to look at Nessie as she held up a few gold bangles. I swooped her up and sat her on the counter.

"I should huh? Do you think they match?" I asked. Nessie nodded eagerly.

"You'll look like a princess Aunty Bella!" Nessie giggled.

"They're perfect Bella," Alice stated as she took the bangles from Nessie and placed them in a bag, "Now, go change and let's go home! Time to get Bella all dolled up!"

From the time we stepped into my apartment I was kind of in a daze. Alice shoved me into the shower and I scowled when I came out of the bathroom. Only then did I remember that the dress had no back, and a special bra would need to worn. The scowl on my face deepened when I took in the tiny scrap of material Alice had chosen for my underwear. I slipped them on and stayed in my robe.

Getting me all dolled up was a whirlwind. Alice was making sure my dress and accessories were all set, Rosalie was doing my hair, and Angela was doing my make-up. Alice was also entertaining Nessie and putting a little make-up on her as they finished on me.

"All ready!" Alice squealed. Everyone stepped away so I could see myself clearly in the mirror. I couldn't help the gasp that left my lips and tears came to my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Angela had given me a smoky eye but used all browns, and a pinky lip gloss. Rosalie had French braided my hair in two separate braids and they met at a messy bun at the nape of my neck. They made me look…stunning.

"Oh lord…good thing I told Angela to use waterproof everything," Rosalie chuckled.

"Oh Bella, is everything okay?" Angela asked softly.

"I…" the sniffles were coming and the tears threatening to spill over, "I look so beautiful."

"Yes, yes you do," Alice whispered in response, "You're going to knock Edward off his feet."

I was suddenly embraced by three sets of arms and a tiny body hugging my lower half.

"You guys deserve this so much," Alice sniffled, "You have no idea how happy we ALL are that you and Edward are together again."

"Thank you guys," I whispered, "Thank you so much."

I glanced at the clock and gasped. It was 5:50. Panic started to set it. Edward was going to be here in 10 minutes!

"It's almost 6! I have to get dressed!"

"Bella!" Angela laughed, "Remember, calm!"

"Daddy and Sethy are coming now?" Nessie said excitedly.

Rosalie smiled, "Yes they are sweetie. Should we go greet them?"

"YES!" Nessie squealed and she jumped up into Rosalie's waiting arms.

"I'll go with them," Angela said as she squeezed my hand, "You look so gorgeous Bells."

I smiled and whispered "thanks" quietly and then I was left with just Alice in my bedroom.

"Come on Bella," Alice chirped, "Time for these!"

I furrowed my brows, "What are these?"

Alice huffed, "They're pasties Bella. Your dress is backless and you can't wear a normal bra and I think those stick-on strapless and backless bras are weird. Pasties cover up your nipples so there's no fripple action in the cold."

I couldn't help but blush. I was basically going to be wearing nothing under my dress, but it was too late to back out now. Edward would be here in 5 minutes. I grabbed the pasties and grudgingly stuck them on. I blushed a ridiculous red as I let the robe drop and Alice helped me into the dress. I stood still as Alice made final adjustments and I heard her sigh.

"Bella, I think you might possibly be my most proudest achievement."

I blushed and felt the tears again, "Thank you so much Alice. Not just for today, but for everything. Everything you've done for Edward and I."

I saw Alice's eyes turn glassy and tears threaten to spill over.

"Oh Bella!" Alice cried as she pulled me into a tight hug, "You deserve this! You and Edward both deserve this!"

She pulled back and laughed, brushing a finger under my right eye, "Now, no more tears! I know we used waterproof everything, but I'm not taking anymore chances!"

I laughed, "Okay Alice."

Just then my bedroom door burst open and my son came barreling in.

"MOMMY!" E.J. squealed as he ran to my side, wrapping his arms around my waist, "Mommy, you look like a princess!"

"Hey buddy!" I said, overjoyed at seeing my son for pretty much the first time all day, "Did you have fun today?"

E.J. launched into his tale about the day he spent with the big boys and learning to play baseball with Jasper. I felt my eyes tear again when he spoke so fondly and proudly of Edward in the batting cages. It was like Edward was his hero. I was less than thrilled to hear about him trying rock climbing. I would bet all my money that it was Emmett's idea, but I would have to ask Edward what he was thinking for letting E.J. go.

Alice flitted around as E.J. told his tale and he giggled as Alice tickled him or messed up his hair as she went by him. Despite the cold, Alice slipped a pair of Grecian gold flats in front of my feet and helped me lace them on.

"Okay little man, let's you and I go down first so your Mommy can make a grand entrance."

"What does that mean?" E.J.'s little brow furrowed. No matter how much time went by, it was still amazing to me to see how much E.J. looked exactly like Edward. At least now it didn't hurt to think about anymore.

"You know how Mommy looks like a princess?" Alice started, waiting for E.J. to nod before continuing, "And you know how princesses always enter the ball coming down the staircase by themselves and everyone looks at them?"

E.J. nodded, "Like in Nessie's favorite movie 'Cinderella'?"

"Exactly! That's a grand entrance and your Mommy is going to make one."

"Okay!" E.J. shouted grabbing Alice's hand, "Let's go let Daddy know!"

Alice laughed, "You'll hear me and know when to make your entrance Bella!"

I let out a nervous chuckle and nodded as Alice left the room. Angela or Rosalie must have already grabbed my bag and shawl and took it with them downstairs when they left the room earlier. I took one more deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I almost didn't recognize myself. I really did look like a princess, and definitely not the plain Isabella Swan that I am. I had always wondered that if Edward had been able to see when we had met, if we still would've ended up together. For the first time in my life, I felt like I looked like I belonged next to Edward.

I exited my room just in time to hear Alice's voice floating up the stairs. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, prepare to meet Isabella Marie Swan."

I couldn't help the nervous butterflies in my stomach and I felt my cheeks heating up as I took slow and steady steps towards the stairs. I couldn't look up as I started to step down. I knew I would only further embarrass myself and the silence was deafening. I was scared to look up and see Edward's possibly disgusted face and the faces of our friends equally unimpressed.

"See Sethy!" Nessie squealed, causing my head to snap up and stopping me at the second to the last stair from the bottom, "Aunty Bella looks like a princess!"

Emmett, Jacob, and Ben all let out a quiet "wow" as Jasper smiled down at Alice, who was positively beaming at me, her "proudest achievement." Rosalie stood next to Emmett, arm around his waist, smiling proudly. Angela was standing next to a still shocked Ben, stifling a laugh at Ben's expense. I don't think he ever saw me this dressed up before. Jacob was holding Nessie as she whispered in his ear, a grin on his face.

"Bells!" Seth finally said, "You look so…so…"

"Beautiful."

My eyes instantly snapped to direction of the all too familiar velvety voice of my dreams. The breath in my lungs caught in my throat as I was overwhelmed looking at my past, present, and future standing there before me. My little son in his jeans and sweatshirt had his arm wrapped around a silvery grey pant leg. When I finally let my eyes trail upwards I took in the breathtaking sight before me. There Edward stood in a silvery grey suit, black shirt underneath, his hair in its usual untamed glory, and is his hands, an exquisite bouquet of flowers.

"Edward…" I finally got out in a breathy whisper. Edward slowly bent down and whispered to E.J. before placing a kiss on his forehead and E.J. skipped off the stand next to Emmett. As my Edward walked towards me I felt as if I were going to faint or I was going to wake up any minute from this dream. I lifted my foot to finish my decent to the bottom of the stairs but my foot slipped and I lost my hold on the banister. I let out a scared squeak as I prepared to meet the wood surface of my floor and I heard the feminine cries of my name, but the impact with the floor never came. Instead I found myself nestled in the strong embrace that I had been missing for years.

"Careful my love," Edward whispered into my ear. I must've been a new shade of red as I clutched on to Edward's blazer.

"Ever the graceful one Swan!" Emmett bellowed. The distinct sound of Rosalie's hand connecting with the back of his head was followed by a chorus of laughter from our friends.

"Ever the dumb one McCarty!" Rosalie hissed.

Edward set me carefully on my feet as I pulled back to look at our friends.

"Thank you Rosalie," I said, as Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, our friends laughing. I turned to face Edward, "And thank you for catching me."

I placed a soft kiss on his lips and felt Edward smile before he pulled back. Tracing my cheek slowly with a fingertip he whispered, "I'll always be there to catch you."

He pressed his lips to mine once more before drawing back and presenting me with the most exquisite bouquet of orchids and roses.

"Edward, they're so beautiful."

My favorite crooked Edward smile graced his lips as he explained to me their meaning. I was blushing beyond belief when he said the orchids were representative of me and that I was a rare and delicate beauty, but my eyes watered when he said that the lavender roses represented feelings of love at first sight. That held so much meaning for the two of us and it was not lost on me. Ever since we met when we were 10 years old, there was something that drew me to Edward Cullen. Whether or not it was love at first sight, I don't know. I just knew that he was meant to be a part of my life even then.

"Well," Alice chirped, "You two better get going."

Edward helped wrap my shawl around my shoulders before shrugging into his own coat. We said our good-byes to everyone, before we both knelt down to speak with E.J., promising our son that we would be home in time to put him to bed at his weekend bedtime of 10:30. I had a feeling he'd be sleeping before then anyway. When we asked the others what their plans were, I was surprised to hear that they all had decided to stay here and keep Emmett, Rosalie, and E.J. company. I didn't mind. It felt right with everyone here. Plus E.J. could play with Nessie and not have to be surrounded by the adults.

Cameron greeted Edward and I at the door and held open the door of the limo for the both of us. Edward gave the address of our destination to the driver and we then we were off, heading south through the streets of the city. Edward and I sat in silence, our fingers intertwined. When we were younger, the silence between the two of us had never been awkward, thought right now, I had no idea what to say. I noticed that Edward began to bounce his leg, out of nervousness or impatience I'm not sure, and he turned his gaze to look out the window. I squeezed his large hand that held mine and he turned back to me, his emerald gaze locking with mine. I wasn't sure what to say so I just smiled timidly.

The smile he returned was just as timid as he brought our joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" He whispered to me. He knew now how much it meant to me to hear him compliment how I _looked._ Everyday I had seen him since the masquerade ball, he complimented me on how I looked. I would never get over hearing those words from his mouth.

I shook my head as I tried to keep my tears at bay. I hoped I wouldn't be reduced to tears every time he told me I looked beautiful. I looked down at my lap trying to will the tears away. A long slender finger tilted my chin back up. Edward's brows were furrowed and his eyes looked sad.

"What did I do to cause your tears?"

I smiled and shook my head, a few tears slipping out, "Oh Edward…it's not anything bad."

His eyes still looked unsure so I continued, "I just don't think I'll ever get over hearing you telling me how beautiful I _look._ I've always wanted to hear those words."

Edward's eyes softened as he brought both hands up to cup my cheeks, his thumbs drawing small circles there, "Isabella Swan, you are the most beautiful woman I have _EVER_ seen."

Slowly, Edward brought our lips together and I lost myself in the feeling of his soft lips moving against my own. Edward pulled back slowly and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I snuggled up next to him as we both watched the city lights pass by. The awkward air was gone from the limo as we slowed to a stop at our destination.

I smiled as I looked around and noticed that we were in Tribeca and in front of Acapella, a well known Italian restaurant…and a well known expensive Italian restaurant.

"Edward!" I gasped.

He chuckled, "I know it's not Bella Italia, but I hope this well be okay."

I stared at him, shock still written all over my face. True I had money and I did enjoy good food, but between caring for E.J. and working, I never really ventured out to fancy restaurants around the city to eat. Plus I also preferred to cook for myself. I couldn't believe he wanted to even compare our little hole-in-the-wall restaurant in Port Angeles to this place.

"More than okay Edward."

He offered me his arm and I gladly looped mine with his as he led us into the restaurant. I couldn't help the gasp that left my mouth. This was way fancier than any place that Edward and I ever went to before. There was a soft golden glow that kept the restaurant barely illuminated. The décor reminded me of a European renaissance painting mixed with a modern flair. It was nice…but intimidating.

Someone came and took Edward's coat and my shawl and I shivered. I almost felt like all eyes were on us as we were led to our table. I was fighting each and every urge I had to pick at my dress to make sure it was okay. Edward and I looked to be the youngest couple in here by far. The looks from those who were older than us and assumed that they were automatically better than us was making me incredibly uncomfortable. Edward ran a hand through his hair as he pulled out my chair for me. The hand in the hair…I knew that was an automatic sign that he was uncomfortable. Was he as uncomfortable as I was right now?

The condescending look of our waiter only made me more uncomfortable and I fidgeted in my seat. Edward had yet to say anything to me as we sat here looking at our menus. The prices were ridiculous and I couldn't believe that Edward was spending all this money on our date. Simplicity had always been our motto and this was far from simple. Edward picked at the collar of his shirt and I knew he was uncomfortable as well as he fidgeted in his chair. While the food at other tables and the smell in the air was incredible, I couldn't believe for a second longer that Edward actually wanted to be here.

"Edward," I asked softly, leaning over the table. He immediately dropped his menu and met my eyes.

"What is it love?" Hearing him call me "love" made me tingle inside, though it did not escape my attention that he had yet to actually say those special three words to me.

"I…" I hesitated. How did I let him know I was uncomfortable here without offending him?

"You're just as uncomfortable as I am in here." He smiled knowingly at me. Even when he was blind, he had the uncanny ability to know just what I was feeling.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "This really is romantic and grand but…"

"It's not us," he finished.

"Exactly," I breathed out.

"I have an idea."

Edward stood abruptly, surprising our snooty waiter, and threw some money on the table before wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding us out of the restaurant. He helped me wrap my shawl on before simply slinging his coat over his arm and guiding us out the doors. The limo was waiting at the curb still and our driver, Nathan, opened the doors before racing back the driver's seat.

"Where to Mr. Cullen?" Nathan asked.

"We need to go to a market to get some groceries please."

My brows shot up. Why were we going to get groceries?

"Edward-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Ah ah my love. I asked you on this date, and it is my responsibility to follow through and make sure it is a good one."

"But why are we going to the grocery store?"

Edward silenced my string of questions with his lips. "You'll see love."

Edward's grand idea was that he was going to cook for me at his apartment since everyone was over at mine. We would still be able to have our romantic date night alone, and I'm not going to lie, I was terribly excited to have Edward cook for me. He told me it was one of the things he insisted on learning once he was able to see. I cried when he told me it was one of his ways to hang on to my memory.

Watching him in his black dress shirt and silvery grey dress pants was incredibly sexy as he moved around the kitchen. He handed me a glass of red wine as he went about preparing our dinner, wild mushroom lasagna. I couldn't take my eyes off his forearms as he gripped the knives and cut up the mushrooms. Never before did I think cooking could be so sexy.

Edward placed the tray into the oven to bake, informing me that it would take 45 minutes. Taking my wine glass from me, Edward laced his fingers with mine and proceeded to give me a tour of this apartment. It really was quite grand. He held my hand and let me lead as I explored around his different rooms. His office was surprisingly similar to my own, bookshelves completely filled with all sorts of genres and I felt my eyes tear when I noticed that he had all of my books as well.

I came across his bedroom next and I quickly turned away from the sight of his immaculately clean room and its king sized bed. The effects of watching him cook earlier were still causing my body to flush and react in ways it hadn't in years. If we stayed anywhere near his bed, I was sure I might maul him.

His painting room was no better. I had been here before and memories of our last time together flooded my memory as I looked at his piano. I let go of his hand as I walked slowly forward. I didn't feel him follow me as I stopped and slowly ran my hands over the smooth dark finish.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered from his place near the doorway.

I bit my lip, not wanting to really share my current thoughts. Instead I answered with another desire that I had.

"Will you play for me?"

When I turned, I couldn't quite read the expression on Edward's face. It was like a mixture of happiness, sadness, surprise, and even love.

"It would be an honor love."

He sat and flexed his fingers and arms before he started playing "Clair de Lune" for me. I smiled and sat next to him, completely enraptured by his long fingers floating along the keys. The routine of songs he played for me in high school was not forgotten as he finished "Clair de Lune" and went on to play the love theme from "Romeo & Juliet" for me next. As I looked up at his face, I noticed that he played with he eyes closed, and the same faint smile on his lips. Even after 6 years, he was still the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

As he finished up, I knew what song he would transition into next and I bit my lip as he started the lullaby he wrote for me so many years ago. Even though life should have seemed more complicated for us back then with his blindness, it seemed easier than what we were dealing with now. True we had told everyone from our friends to his family to our son that we were back together again, but it didn't stop me from wondering what that would entail. Surely Edward didn't think that this was going to be an easy road for us to handle. We had 6 years of catching up to do between the two of us and then we also had our son to consider. We had to learn each other all over again and it was going to be awkward, just as it had been at the restaurant tonight.

Edward seemed much more at peace now, here in his apartment, as he cooked and played for me. I was definitely much more comfortable. This was more "us" and I didn't need the fancy restaurants or the limos to fall in love with Edward again. This was enough. Edward let the last chords of the song hang in the air between us as I lay my head on his shoulder. He brought his hand to mine and twined our fingers again before bringing my hand up to his lips and placing a soft kiss there.

"Thank you Edward," I whispered.

"You're welcome my Bella," he whispered back, squeezing my hand gently.

We sat in silence for a while longer and just as I heard him take in a breath of air to speak, we both jumped at the sound of his cell phone going off, alerting us to the fact that it had been 45 minutes and the lasagna was done. Edward placed a kiss on my forehead before grudgingly taking out his cell phone and shutting off the alarm. Taking my hand, he helped me stand and led me to his dining room table.

Within minutes we were eating and I couldn't stop the soft moans of contentment that left my mouth as we ate. Our conversation was light and easy, and this was so much more Edward and I. We talked about work and also his painting. I had yet to tell him about the tickets I had that were burning a hole in my desk drawer for the world premiere of "Love Story" in two weeks. I wanted to ask him, but I wasn't sure how he'd feel watching a movie that was based on my book, that was based on the fairy tale life that I had wanted with him. I feared it would make him nauseous. In true "us" form, we also ended our meal with two spoons and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked, our favorite ice cream.

The walk home was pleasant despite the cold, and much to my protesting, Edward had me wrapped up in his coat. He had excused Nathan and the limo once we had made it back to his place. It was near 11pm by the time we made it up to my door. I wasn't surprised to see that only Emmett and Rosalie were still in the living room. Emmett was passed out, sprawled out on the couch. Rosalie was sitting with a sleeping E.J. in her lap, watching the end of "Sky High" on the t.v

"Hey you two," Rosalie whispered softy, "How was the date?"

"Perfect," I whispered, looking up at Edward, smiling.

"I'm glad," she said as she shifted and made to stand, still holding E.J. Edward quickly met her and took E.J. in his own arms. The little guy shifted and I smiled as his small eyes opened and he blinked.

"Daddy?" he croaked, his voice heavy with sleep.

My heart melted every time I saw Edward with E.J. I watched as Edward smiled and whispered hello to our son and E.J. only latched on tighter to Edward's blazer. Rosalie slapped Emmett's arm awake and I stifled my laugh as it pretty much took her throwing all of her weight into a slap on his shoulder to wake him up. We all laughed as Emmett snorted and groaned. Standing and stretching, he and Rosalie gathered up their things.

"I take it you two had fun tonight?" Emmett said as he released me from one of his bear hugs.

"We did," I smiled as I saw Edward disappear up the stairs towards my room. Inevitably, our son had asked to sleep in the same bed tonight.

"And is the night still going?" I didn't miss the trademark Emmett eyebrows in action. I was just about to answer as Rosalie smacked him upside the head.

"Enough Emmett!" Rosalie hissed, "Seriously. I thought you were like her protective big brother and you're here making all sorts of sexual innuendos and hiding condoms in Edward's jacket pocket."

My eyes almost bugged out of my head! Condoms in Edward's pockets?!

"What?!" I hissed.

"Oh don't worry Bella," Rosalie said, "E.J. made sure that Emmett paid for his actions."

I was just about to ask how when Edward returned and said, "Don't ask love."

We said good-bye to Emmett and Rosalie and made our way back upstairs. Edward had been spending quite a few nights here in the past week, mostly due to E.J.'s request and his confusion as to why Edward and I didn't live together. I kept Edward's Forks High t-shirt and basketball pants for him in the top drawer of my dresser now.

As I entered my room, hand in hand with Edward, I saw that E.J. was once again curled up into a little ball in the center of the bed. Edward and I both slipped off our shoes and quietly made our way to the bed. I lay behind E.J., perfectly content to hold the little guy in my arms. Edward lay in front of us on his side, placing a soft kiss on both our foreheads.

"Good night my Bella," he whispered.

I smiled, "Thank you for tonight Edward. I had a great time."

"Me too," He smiled, his eyes also becoming heavy and drooping. I reached out a hand and smoothed back some of his hair. Edward fell asleep peacefully and before me for once. I smiled at the fact that neither of us had bothered to change our clothes. As his breathing evened out I leaned over and kissed his lips softly.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

But I got no response to the three words I so longed to hear from his lips again. The only sounds in the room were the light in synch breathing of father and son.

**Well? Yes? No? Edward and Bella are still re-learning a lot about each other. And you can go back and check other chapters (I did), but Edward has yet to say those three special words to Bella in the present. Too bad he wasn't conscious for Bella saying it.**

**I wanted to include everyone in this chapter. I really do feel like Edward and Bella getting back together is a huge thing for all of them and that they have all been on this roller coaster ride of a relationship too. **

**So…up next, the family needs to talk**

**Thank you for reading! Unfortunately I think the next chapter might be delayed due to my moving back to the mainland. But fear not, I will NEVER abandon this story. :- ) Review if you can. Pretty please?**

**P.S. Random bit of "Twilight" movie fact I remembered while watching the DVD yesterday, and I probably only noticed this because I'm from the 808 State, but on the floor in Edward's bedroom, next to his open window/door thingy, and next to the brown jukebox (?) there is a picture of King Kamehameha. I wish I could ask Edward Cullen why there's a picture of a Hawaiian King in his bedroom...**


	18. Chapter 17: the Reason

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Summer went by way too fast. But I closed it out with a Black Eyed Peas concert and they are A-MA-ZING live. Apologies if anyone is put off by the fact it's taken me this long to update. Moving all my stuff back across the ocean sucked balls…**

**Thanks always to ajenc (pretty much my beta) and anyone else who's reading. Short chapter :-)**

_**I'm sorry that I hurt you**_

_**It's something I must live with every day**_

_**And all the pain I put you through**_

_**I wish that I could take it all away**_

_**And be the one who catches all your tears**_

_**That's why I need you to hear**_

_**I've found a reason for me**_

_**To change who I used to be**_

_**A reason to start over new**_

_**And the reason is you**_

_**-Hoobstank, "The Reason"**_

Chapter 17: The Reason

"_I love you Edward Cullen."_

Bella and I were 15 years old again, only I could see. We were in the piano room in the house in Forks sitting on the piano bench. I could almost feel her lips as they ghosted against mine and I smiled as I felt her hand trail down my cheek. Then she poked me! I frowned, wanting to ask her why she just poked me in the cheek, but when she laughed. It was not her melodic laugh.

"Bella?" I whispered.

She laughed again and poked my cheek. The laughing got louder and I furrowed my brows.

"What are you doing E.J.?" I heard the voice of my angel whisper. I sighed internally. I had only dreamed that Bella told me she loved me. It had sounded so real.

"Daddy's face is so pokey!" E.J. giggled as he prodded his little finger into my cheekbone again.

"E.J.!" Bella hissed, "Do not poke your father! He's still sleeping!"

It was a definite struggle to keep a smile from forming on my face.

"But he just said 'Bella'!"

I heard Bella sigh heavily, "Edward Cullen, have you been awake this whole time?"

I cracked one eye open and feigned innocence, "Hm?"

E.J. was sitting on one side of me, Bella on the other. Her face was clear of make-up and her wet hair was thrown up in a messy bun on the top of her head.

Bella rolled her eyes, "You're a terrible actor Edward."

"Oh really?" I asked as I pulled her down onto my chest, her surprised squeal filling my ears. Her face was only inches from my own, her deep brown eyes and beautiful smile lighting up my morning.

"Really Edward," she said, trying in vain to be serious, her traitor smile already tugging at her lips.

I grinned, thankful that her bed was huge, "You really shouldn't have said that."

I rolled us over quickly in the opposite direction of E.J., who I heard yelp in surprise, and pinned Bella's body underneath mine. This was perhaps a dumb move on my part. I was in no way prepared for the sight of Bella's body beneath my own. Her mahogany hair had come undone was splayed out against the gold of her pillows and her eyes squeezed shut as she laughed. I felt that certain part of my body reacting to the sight of her and my breathing became ragged. Bella heard the change in my breaths and stopped laughing, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. I furrowed my brows and groaned, rolling back over, throwing an arm over my eyes.

Thank the lord E.J. was there to break the awkward tension. He giggled and picked up the arm that covered my eyes.

"Morning Daddy!" he chirped, "I'm gonna go get changed!"

He rolled off the bed and tumbled to the floor, which caused both Bella and I to lurch up to a sitting position, leaning as far as we both could to see over the edge of the bed. We heard laughter before we saw the crazy strands of hair sticking out all over the place and E.J.'s little face peek over the edge of the bed.

"That was fun!" he shouted before standing and running out of the room.

"WALK!" Bella and I shouted at the same time.

We both looked at each other, a blush tinting both our cheeks, before I flopped back down onto the pillows. I noted that I was still in my shirt and pants from last night. I groaned again and ran my hand through my hair as best I could from this position. I had no intention of spending the night at Bella's last night. I know E.J. asked, but I had planned on leaving once he was asleep. I didn't even check with Bella if it was okay or not for me to stay. And then this morning? What a dumb move on my part. I should have known it would be overwhelming to see Bella in a position like that. I felt Bella slowly lower herself down on to the pillow next to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Bella's tiny hand trying to rub away the wrinkles on my forehead.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

I sighed. Where should I begin? I didn't want to rush Bella or make her feel uncomfortable. There was still so much to learn about each other. It felt like we were going round and round in the cycle of being the perfect couple to not knowing how to act around each other.

"Please talk to me Edward. We're not going to get anywhere if we don't talk."

She was right. My Bella was always right. She always knew what to say at the right time.

"I'm sorry Bella," I whispered, turning to face her, "I didn't mean to fall asleep here last night."

Her brow furrowed, "It's not a problem Edward. That's why we kept the t-shirt and shorts for you here."

I sighed heavily, "I know….It's just…I mean, I usually ask first, and last night I just fell asleep. I didn't even check with you if it was okay or not that E.J. sleep in here, let alone that I stay the night and-"

Bella cut me off with her lips and I couldn't help but let my lips react to hers. It was soft kiss as we nibbled at each other. Tentatively, I let my tongue sweep along her lower lip and I was surprised at the soft mewling noise Bella made as she opened her mouth to me. After a few seconds Bella pulled away slowly.

"We need to stop before E.J. comes running back in here."

I nodded in agreement, willing my thoughts to calm my body down. I DID NOT want to have _that_ conversation with my son any time soon. Bella ran her soft fingers slowly against the stubble of my chin.

"Edward, promise me something," she asked as she sat up. I followed and took her hands in mine.

"Anything Bella." I would do anything that she asked of me.

"Promise me you won't over analyze everything. Just talk to me right away when you think something isn't right or you have something to ask me."

Ah how she knew me so well. I had always over analyzed everything from a young age. I thought of every possible outcome. Growing up blind, I tried to prepare myself for every possible reaction from my classmates and their parents or teachers. I thought and thought and thought. It was why originally I thought that Bella would never want to be friends with a "freak" like me. Undoubtedly, my over active mind was still getting the better of me.

"I promise to try Bella. You know me. That's how I am."

She sighed squeezing my hands, "I know Edward. As long as you promise to try."

I leaned forward and let my lips barely graze hers as I whispered, "I promise."

_**EJPOV (this will be…interesting)**_

I don't understand why Daddy has his own apartment. He should be living with Mommy and me. I thought all mommies and daddies were married and lived together. Mr. Whitlock said that wasn't true. I know Mommy said that Daddy didn't know about me until last month, but I knew about him. Mommy also said that Daddy couldn't see before. I don't know what she means. Daddy can see perfectly fine! She said she left him back home because he fixed his eyes. She said something about giving him the best possible life. Did that mean Daddy didn't want me? Does Daddy still not want me? I always feel like he's going to leave and never come back.

Mommy and I were sitting in a room with all of his painting stuff and a big piano. I think it is bigger than the one in Mommy's room. Daddy gave me some paper and pencils that are colorful. My picture is for his frigerator. It was of me and Mommy and Daddy at the park. Mommy is sitting in chair by the window. She hasn't talked to me much. Daddy is in the shower. I should have asked Daddy my question yesterday when we were here.

"Mommy?" I asked, "How come Daddy doesn't live with us?"

Mommy's body jumped like I scared her. Her eyes got all big like the time I asked her for a little brother or sister to play with. Her face changed to her smile and she came and sat next to me on the floor.

"Oh baby," she said as she brushed my hair with her hand, "that's part of the things Daddy and I want to talk to you about."

I frowned, "Is it bad stuff? Am I in trouble? Is Daddy going away?"

"Oh no baby, no," Mommy said as she put her arm around me, "None of it is bad. Daddy isn't going away. We just want to tell you the truth about some things."

I gasped, "Have you and Daddy been lying to me?!"

Mommy made a funny noise and her eyes got kind of watery, "E.J…Daddy and I have a lot to tell you. I don't know if you're going to understand it all. There is nothing Daddy and I have lied about…but there are some things that we have never told you."

I scrunched up my nose. What does that mean? Like Mommy left out parts of the stories?

"Does that make sense to you baby?"

"So you left parts of the stories about you and Daddy out?"

Mommy made a small smile, but her eyes were still watery, "Something like that baby."

Daddy walked back in at that time and I stood and quickly jumped up in his arms. If I held on tightly to Daddy, he couldn't go anywhere without me.

"Whoa buddy! I wasn't gone that long," Daddy said as he held me up.

"I know!" I shouted, pulling on his shirt, "But look! Look! I made you a drawing for your frigerator!"

Daddy laughed as he took the picture Mommy handed him, "Thank you son! How about we go put it up there and then we'll talk?"

"Okay Daddy," I said and I squeezed his neck tighter. Daddy's building has this food place at the bottom and we ate there. They had good pancakes. Daddy carried me to his kitchen to hang my picture. Mommy said I wasn't in trouble, but I was scared. What if the talk was really something bad and Mommy was leaving stuff out from the story?

Daddy was still carrying me when he sat down on the couch, he asked me if I wanted to sit on the couch but I shook my head and held on to him tighter, keeping my seat in his lap. I saw Daddy look at Mommy with a funny face and my nose got all stuffy. When I tried to clear it away, Mommy looked down at me and she made that weird noise again.

"Oh baby," she said quietly, "What's the matter?"

I tried to clear my nose again, "It's bad isn't it? This talk."

Daddy squeezed my body tighter and said, "What makes you think that son?"

"Cuz…" I whispered, "If it wasn't bad, there wouldn't have been anything left out of the stories. The bad stuff gets left out of stories."

Daddy squeezed me tight to his chest, but he and Mommy didn't say anything. My eyes were getting that weird feeling and I felt a tear go down my cheek. I didn't like thinking about what Mommy and Daddy have left out of the stories. I liked having Daddy with me. I liked when he picked me up from school and took me to play in the park. I liked when he talk to me about Ichiro and baseball. I liked jumping on his bed. I liked when he is there when I wake up. Was Daddy going to go away again? Did he not want to be with me and Mommy? Is he only here because I found him?

I curled my body into Daddy's chest and cried. Daddy tried to make me look at him but I shook my head and held on to his shirt tighter. Daddy had a hand in my hair and I felt Mommy move closer and rub my back.

"E.J., baby," she whispered, "Your Daddy and I promise that this is nothing bad. Will you listen to me right now? You don't have to talk. Just listen."

I nodded but kept half my face pressed against Daddy's chest. Mommy stood up and went to Daddy's books. When she came back she was holding 3 of them. I recognized them. They were the 3 that were always in her office that I wasn't allowed to look at or touch. Why did Daddy have them now?

"E.J., I want to show you these pictures. They are from when Daddy and I were in school."

I watched as Mommy opened the first book. I felt my forehead scrunch up. The boy in the picture was older than me, but he looked like me. He wasn't facing the camera, his eyes looked like they were staring at the ground, but he was smiling.

"Baby, that's your Daddy when he was in 5th grade, when your Daddy and I met."

I pulled back from Daddy's chest so I could look at the picture and his face. Daddy had the same hair and his smile was still crooked, but his eyes didn't look empty like they did in the picture.

"Why is Daddy looking at the floor?"

I looked up at Daddy as he coughed and he looked down at me. "I was blind E.J. Do you know what that means? It means Daddy wasn't able to see like you can. Daddy couldn't see anything."

I was confused, "But you can see me now right Daddy?"

"Yes son," Daddy said slowly, "There was a doctor, he performed a surgery that made it so I could see."

"He fixed your eyes?" I asked, completely shocked, "How?"

Mommy sighed, "It was very complicated and difficult baby. It was also very dangerous. There was a chance that it would not work."

I frowned, "But it did work? Why did that make you leave Daddy?"

I sat and listened as Mommy and Daddy explained about my Grandpa Charlie and how he never wanted Mommy and Daddy to be together. I didn't like this Grandpa. He told Mommy that I was going to be bad for Daddy's life. Mommy said that she wanted Daddy to get better after his surgery like he was supposed to, and she thought that he would worry too much if he knew that she was pregnant with me.

"So Daddy didn't want me?!" I shouted, my tears rolling down my cheeks. I struggled and tried my best to climb off Daddy's lap, but he held on to me tighter.

"NO! E.J. no!" Daddy cried as he held me tighter, "I've always wanted you! Mommy thought she was doing what was best for me. We both didn't realize how much this would affect us all."

"So you do want me?" I sniffled.

"Of course I do!" Daddy said as he kissed my head, "I'll always want you and your Mommy here with me."

"Then why don't you live with us?" I asked, as I pulled back to look at Daddy.

He explained that for 6 years, he never stopped loving Mommy, but he never knew where she went after she left. He also said that he never knew that I was born, but he apologized, saying that he loved me before he even knew about me. I didn't know what that meant, but I liked it. He went on to explain that even though he always wants to be with me and Mommy, 6 years is a long time to be apart from someone, and they were learning how to be together again.

"You love Mommy though right?"

Daddy looked frozen, except his mouth looked like a fish, opening and closing. After a few moments Daddy finally said, "I do."

I turned to look at Mommy who was looking at Daddy like she was going to cry. "And you love Daddy right Mommy?"

She turned to look down at me and I saw a tear run down her cheek.

"I do," Mommy whispered.

Mommy went on to talk and explained every photo in the books she had. She and Daddy didn't look too different than they do now, except Daddy was never looking at the camera or he had his sunglasses on. The picture that Mommy had let me have of her and Daddy was in the books too. They went on to explain about the letters from "Daddy" in Paris. Mommy said she wanted me to have a Daddy that loved me, even if he wasn't real. She didn't want me to think that I didn't have a Daddy that loved me. I guess everything was okay because I did have a Daddy who loved me. Mommy said that I knew everything that had happened between her and Daddy now.

"So is Daddy ever going to live with us?"

Both Mommy and Daddy's eyes got big with that same look that Mommy got when I asked her about having a little brother or sister to play with. I would have to ask Daddy if I could have one since when I asked Mommy, she said I had to ask my Daddy. I had asked my "Daddy" in Paris. I got no answer. Now Daddy could really answer me! Not now though…I'll ask him later.

Daddy made a funny noise then said, "Do you want me to live with you and Mommy?"

"YES!" I yelled.

Both Mommy and Daddy laughed at that. I decided they need to know why I wanted Daddy to live with us.

"I like it when Daddy is there to pick me up and bring me home after school. I like it when Daddy talks about baseball with me. I like it when Daddy helps me take a bath. I like it when Daddy teaches me about piano. I like it when Daddy watches t.v. with me. I like it when Daddy tucks me in at night. I like-"

"Okay buddy," Daddy said, stopping my talking, "Mommy and I will talk about it okay?"

"Okay," I pouted. That wasn't the answer I was hoping for.

"Baby, your Daddy and I want you to know that we're both very sorry for not telling you the truth about everything. We're both very sorry."

"We never meant to hurt you son," Daddy said.

"It's okay," I whispered, "You won't do it again right?"

"Never," Mommy and Daddy said at the same time. We were all silent for a bit before Mommy spoke again.

"Daddy and I also have one more thing to tell you about baby."

"What is it Mommy?" I said as I leaned forward on Daddy's lap.

"Well, we're all going to go on a trip for Thanksgiving. Your Daddy, Uncle Emmett, Aunty Rosalie, and I are going to take you to Forks, where Mommy and Daddy grew up. You're going to meet Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme."

"I'm going to meet my Grandpa and Grandma?!" I shouted.

"Yes, son," Daddy chuckled.

I jumped off Daddy's lap and jumped on Mommy hugging her tightly.

"Thank you Mommy!" I turned around and jumped at Daddy, "Thank you Daddy!"

Daddy laughed and he stood up, spinning us in a circle. I laughed and yelled as Daddy finally slowed down and he sat on the couch again. I was dizzy as Daddy laughed and brushed my hair with his hand. We all heard Mommy's cell phone ring and I saw Mommy stand up to go answer.

"Hi Seth," Mommy said. Sethy! I hope we were going to play with Nessie today! I wanted to tell her all about what Mommy and Daddy said about Thanksgiving.

"Oh…sure. That sounds great Seth. We'll see you guys in half an hour…okay, bye."

I watched as Mommy hung up the phone and Daddy said, "What did Seth call about love?"

Mommy's cheeks turned red and she looked at the floor before she answered.

"Seth and Jacob are taking Nessie to go play in Central Park. They wanted to know if we wanted to come with E.J."

"Oh Daddy please!" I shouted as I bounced in his lap. I really wanted to go play with Nessie.

Daddy laughed again, "If it's okay with Mommy."

Mommy smiled all big, "You better go get your coat and hat then E.J."

"YAY!" I shouted as I jumped off Daddy's lap and ran back to his painting room. I quickly grabbed my grey coat and black hat and came running back in the living room. Daddy had his arms wrapped around Mommy and was kissing her forehead. Mommy quickly backed up and looked at me, her cheeks all red and smiling.

"Ready?" she smiled.

I nodded, "Look Mommy! Daddy and I are matching again!"

Daddy had on a black shirt that covered all his arms just like me and we both were wearing jeans. Daddy also had a grey coat and a black hat like me too.

"Perfect father and son," Mommy said quietly while smiling up at Daddy. Mommy put on her white coat and grabbed her bag. We waited in the hallway as Daddy locked up his apartment and we walked down the hall. I was holding Mommy's hand until we got to the street.

"Daddy, can I have a piggy back ride?"

Daddy didn't even answer and I screamed as he picked me up and threw me on his back. Mommy stayed close and we all laughed and talked as we walked to the park. I saw the Alice in Wonderland statue and I heard Nessie shout. In no time she ran right up to Daddy and Mommy calling them "Aunty Bella and Uncle Edward." Daddy put me down and Nessie and I ran back to the statue.

"Hi Jacob! Hi Sethy!" They said I wasn't allowed to call them "Mister" or "Uncle". Sethy said it made him feel old.

They shouted "Hi" back but I was already climbing up the statue with Nessie. I couldn't wait to tell her about everything that happened today. We sat as high as Mommy and Jacob would allow us to go and looked at the lake.

"I have so much to tell you Nessie!" I shouted.

"Me too E.J." Nessie whispered.

She looked sad. What did she have to tell me? "You go first Nessie."

She made a funny noise and tried to clear her nose, "I had to go to the eye doctor on Friday. He said I have to get glasses."

I frowned. How come she didn't tell me yesterday? We were playing together last night.

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

"Cuz…" she pouted, "I didn't want to say in front of all the grown ups."

"Oh…well, glasses won't be so bad. Mr. Ben has glasses, so does Miss Angela. And you know what Nessie? My Daddy used to be blind but now he can see!"

"Really?" Nessie asked, her mouth hanging open.

"Yeah! Mommy and Daddy told me the truth about everything today."

I told Nessie everything about what Mommy and Daddy had told me today. She nodded and smiled.

"I asked Daddy why I don't have a Mommy," she said quietly, "I never thought it was strange that I have two daddies. I just don't call Seth 'Daddy' cuz it would be too confusing. Daddy told me that he's not really my Daddy. He's actually my Mommy's brother. My real Mommy and Daddy died in a car crash when I was a baby. So Daddy became my Daddy after that."

"How come you never told me that?" I asked, frowning that she kept that secret from me.

"I felt bad..." Nessie whispered, "I didn't think it was fair that I had two daddies and you didn't have one. Or well, he didn't live here. I didn't want to make you sad."

"But your real Mommy and Daddy died Nessie! I don't want you to be sad!"

"I'm not…not anymore. I have Daddy and Sethy. I'm happy you have your Daddy too E.J."

"Me too Nessie," I whispered.

We played a game of tag, Sethy joined in and chased us around. Daddy did too. I tripped while I was running away from Daddy, but he was right behind me and he caught me before I fell.

"Wow, he's just like you Bella!" Jacob laughed. My eyes got wide when Mommy slapped Jacob on the arm and told him to shut up.

"Mommy! You said mean words to Jacob!"

Mommy turned all red and she looked at the ground. I heard her say sorry and Daddy, Sethy, and Jacob all laughed at her. I didn't understand why. Jacob said Mommy could apologize by cooking us all dinner. Mommy agreed and Nessie and I both screamed. That meant that we could play for a longer time at our home.

When we got home, we sat and played all sorts of games. Nessie wasn't like the other girls in our class. She liked comic books and baseball. That's probably why we're best friends. Nessie and I both love Superman the best, just like Mr. Ben. Kate doesn't care for the comic books so much, but she likes baseball too. She plays the violin. Garrett likes to read books, but not the comics. He wears glasses too. I don't think Nessie should be sad about wearing hers. Garrett wears his all the time. I couldn't wait to tell Kate and Garrett about my Mommy and Daddy and our trip tomorrow at school.

Nessie and I were getting hungry so we went to the living room. Jacob and Sethy were watching ESPN and they were talking about football. I didn't care for football and I was going to ask to change the channel when Nessie's hand covered my mouth.

"Shhhh! Come here! You have to see this!"

She pulled me towards the kitchen and told me to be quiet. I nodded and we peeked around the corner. Daddy was holding Mommy's cheeks in his hands and Mommy had her arms wrapped around Daddy's waist. They looked like they were rubbing their foreheads and noses against each other.

"I love you Bella…" Daddy whispered.

Mommy made a funny noise before she whispered back, "I love you too Edward…I always have."

I felt my mouth fall open as Daddy and Mommy kissed each other. They looked like they were holding each other tightly and it reminded me of the end of Nessie's other favorite movie, "Beauty & the Beast", when the prince is kissing Belle when he turns back into a human.

Nessie and I both screamed when Sethy came up behind us and said, "What are we all looking at?"

I saw Mommy and Daddy jump apart and both of them turned so red they looked like tomatoes.

"Alright…" Sethy said, making the word last a long time. Mommy made a face at Sethy while Daddy turned away and picked up the plate with fried chicken on it. Nessie and I both giggled.

"It was like a movie," Nessie whispered to me as we ran away back to the living room, "Just like 'Beauty & the Beast'!"

"That's what I thought too!" I whispered back.

Nessie and I both jumped up on the couch with Jacob.

"What's up you two?" Jacob asked.

"Daddy! Uncle Edward told Aunty Bella that he loves her!" Nessie shouted, bouncing in place.

"Oh really?" Jacob asked, his eyebrows lifting up.

"Yeah! Then he kissed her! Just like the prince and Belle at the end of 'Beauty & the Beast'! Are you sure Aunty Bella isn't a princess?"

I heard a cough and turned around. Daddy and Mommy were standing in the doorway.

"So does that make me the Beast, Nessie?" Daddy asked as he walked forward, picking her up and throwing her in the air.

Nessie screamed and laughed when Daddy caught her again, "No! Silly Uncle Edward! You're the handsome prince!"

"Handsome? Are you sure? Maybe we need to get you those glasses right away Ness!" Jacob said.

"Daddy! Don't be mean!" Nessie pouted.

Jacob apologized and picked her up, hugging her close. They were whispering back and forth as Jacob went into the dining room. Daddy picked me up and hugged me close.

"You hungry buddy?" Daddy said as he carried me over to Mommy.

I nodded and Mommy smiled as we got closer. I smiled as I remembered what happened in the kitchen.

"Daddy told you he loves you Mommy," I giggled.

Mommy smiled up at Daddy, "I know baby. I love your Daddy too."

**Well? Yes? No? Sorry. This is flat out a filler chapter. But there you have it, Edward finally said those precious three words to Bella, and she said them back. Yay team! :- ) **

**I enjoyed writing from E.J.'s POV. It was a little difficult, and I hope I did okay. Feedback on that would be appreciated. There's another chapter where I'm considering doing it again. And ajenc noticed this before, but anyone notice **_**anything**_** in particular about Kate, Garrett, Nessie, and E.J.? **

**I have the rest of the story planned out. It's just a matter of finding the time to write it all now. Thank you for reading and sticking with me on this story. All you guys who subscribe, I hope you're still reading. And would it be helpful to anyone who doesn't have an FF account, if I put my email on my profile? I would love to hear feedback from anyone. Okay…review if you can. Pretty please? :- )**

**P.S. Yeah…I think the next chapter is gonna be earning it's M rating a little bit. Hopefully it will satisfy all you still grumbling about lack of citrus…**


	19. Chapter 18: Halo

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Sorry it took a bit to get my mojo back for this chapter. Thank you for your reviews! I'm glad it seems like E.J.'s POV was enjoyed! His POV will make an appearance ONE more time. Your reviews ALL made me smile. Thank you, especially if it was the first time I've heard from you. Also thanks just for reading. Oh, and I added my email to my profile. Feel free to email me if you want (constructive things please…or if you want to chat :-P)**

**OH (and sorry for the long note), let me just get this out of the way now (cuz I don't want anyone's expectations completely destroyed), this will NOT have a full blown lemon. Think of this as a little lemon candy treat…and the real lemon is not far off. :-P **

**P.S. thank you if you checked out my other story too! :- )**

_**Hit me like a ray of sun   
Burning through my darkest night   
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light   
I swore I'd never fall again  
But this don't even feel like falling  
Gravity can't begin   
To pull me back to the ground again  
It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breaking  
It's the risk that I'm taking  
I'm never gonna shut you out**_

_**Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace   
Baby I can see your halo   
You know you're my saving grace   
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby I can feel your halo   
Pray it won't fade away  
I can feel your halo   
I can see your halo**_

_**-Beyonce, "Halo"**_

Chapter 18: Halo

"Are you telling me that Emmett actually fainted at the alter?" I managed to squeeze out between my laughter.

"Edward! It's not that funny!" Bella said as she swatted my chest. We were lying on the couch in her living room, enjoying some soft music, and the comfort of each other's arms. I lay on my back as Bella lay on my chest. She had ordered me to cheer her up because we had just sent E.J. off to his first sleepover at Garett's house. There was no way I could relate to the significance of this all, but Alice slapped me in the back of the head when I asked why I had to be present to drop E.J. off. Who knew that fathers had to be present to comfort mothers when they sent their first born off to spend the night away from home for the first time? Not me…

"No," I chuckled, "that's hilarious! I can't even imagine what his face must've looked like! Or Rosalie's! She must've been so mad! The day you've been waiting for all your life and the MAN you're going to spend the rest of your life with passes out from nervousness when it comes time to say I do."

Bella huffed, "If you must know Rosalie was in tears because she thought something BAD happened to Emmett and I'd like to see how you'd react mister!"

And just like that, our conversation had inadvertently turned a 180 and went in a whole new direction. Both of us seemed to stop breathing as we both let Bella's last words sink in. After our talk with E.J. last week, we seemed even closer together as a family. Add that to the fact that I had finally told Bella that I loved her, and well, yeah, marriage had definitely crossed my mind. While I was still living at my apartment, I was spending so much time here that it was getting harder and harder for me to leave.

Bella shifted slightly and her knee brushed a little higher against my thigh. I groaned internally and bit my lip. While I wasn't standing at attention just yet, Bella's subtle movements were going to make that happen in no time. Even though we had only been back together for a few weeks, we were fighting physical chemistry and bodies that remembered and had known each other for years. The sexual tension between us was heavy, though I knew neither of us would admit it. I had taken to relieving myself quite a few times recently. We remained silent and curled against each other for some immeasurable amount of time. Finally Bella spoke first.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?"

The internally debate raged. Do I tell her that I was really thinking about painting Grandma Cullen in a bikini to will away my growing erection, or do I tell her my thoughts on her last words?

"Well…" I drew out, moving a hand to run through her silky hair, "I was thinking…that there is a strong possibility I would react the same way as Emmett. I can't even imagine what…what the vision of you would look like, walking down the aisle towards me."

It was a bold statement on my part, but Bella and I had agreed that we wouldn't hide anything from each other anymore. Well, except for the whole thinking about Grandma Cullen or any other family members in order to rid myself of unwanted…problems.

Bella stretched up to look me in the eyes, "Have you really…have you really thought about getting married?"

She asked in a soft voice, but I could hear the faint excitement in her voice as she waited for my answer. I grinned at her and saw the corners of her mouth twitch.

"I've thought about it, but not in great detail. Like I said, I can't even imagine the angelic vision you would be walking down the aisle towards me, but I love you and plan on never leaving your side, so yes, someday in the future, I would like to marry you."

I was not at all prepared for Bella's next reaction. She let out the girliest squeal I had ever heard her make, it was worse than Alice, and she pulled herself up to smash her lips to mine. Her hands buried themselves into my hair, as her kisses were frantic, and her body was now straddling my waist. I couldn't help it but I let out a loud moan and pressed her closer to my body. All my hard work of riding myself of my erection was completely worthless.

Bella's hands slowly slipped down from my hair as she cupped my cheeks and calmed our kisses. I could feel both of our pulses thundering against each other and Bella placed one more chaste kiss on my lips before slowly pulling away.

"If you couldn't tell," She whispered, "I would like that very much as well."

I gave her my crooked smile as she pressed our lips together again. Just as things started to get heated, the bell to remind her to check on the chicken baking in the oven went off. Bella smiled and slid down my body to go stand up. I had to bite my lip to stifle my moan as she brushed my erection.

"OH!" Bella squeaked as she jumped in my lap. Her little spasm landed her core right on top of my erection and I couldn't stop the moan that left my lips as my eyes snapped closed.

Bella shifted on my lap again and I clenched my eyes closed tighter as I hissed out, "Bella!"

I suddenly felt two small hands on my cheeks and it was hauntingly like déjà vu to have Bella in my arms but not seeing her.

"Edward, look at me please," she whispered softly.

I slowly opened my eyes and was met with Bella's determined brown eyes and flushed cheeks.

"What did I…I mean…am I doing…" Bella stuttered and looked down, blushing a deeper red, "Really?"

I chuckled at her timid and shy way of asking me if I was really turned on right now.

"Love," I said as I brought my hand up to stroke her cheek, "You are the ONLY woman who can make me this way."

Our lips met each other halfway and we both hummed in contentment. Bella's arms snaked around my neck and locked themselves there as I kept one hand cupping her cheek and the other arm wrapped around her waist. I brought my tongue out and ran it along her bottom lip. Bella whimpered before opening her mouth for me. Other than kissing and some cuddling at night, Bella and I hadn't really done much together and this was definitely not helping my current "problem".

"Mmmmmm…" Bella hummed as she broke her mouth away from mine, "I need to check on dinner."

I couldn't help but pout, but my stomach gurgled loudly and Bella laughed as she finally lifted herself off of my lap.

"Dinner first," she scolded playfully as she disappeared to the kitchen.

I sat up and ran a hand through my hair, taking deep breaths. I needed to calm my body down. Cold showers had become an almost daily routine. On those rare mornings when E.J. didn't disturb us, I watched Bella, completely fascinated by her peaceful face and her slightly parted thick lips. It was her sleep talking that always captured my attention. Mostly it wasn't clear, but I did hear my name a lot and "I love you" quite often. That was more than enough to make a cold shower a requirement.

As much as my body wanted to make love to Bella, I didn't think that my mind was prepared for it. I was almost more nervous than I had been when we were virgins. This time, I had no idea how I would react. The first time was overwhelming enough as it was…but being able to see her? There was a regular World War III raging in my mind about what to do and how to make things better.

"The chicken needs about 15 more minutes," Bella said as she slipped onto my lap.

We sat together silently, both absent-mindedly running hands through each other's hair. Bella was gazing down at my chest like the knit of my white sweater was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" Bella said, her head snapping up to look at me as if I somewhat startled her.

"What are you thinking about love?"

Bella bit her lower lip and I kept my groan internal as I felt my cock twitch at the sight. It certainly didn't help that Bella was sitting in my lap. Since Bella's return to my life, I've woken up with more morning wood than ever before and found myself taking freezing cold showers and taking matters into my own hands. I know I promised we would take things slow, but good lord, being able to SEE Bella was kicking my hormones into overdrive and it was like I was practically in a permanent state of arousal. It was killing me. I shifted my position on the couch a little to accommodate for my problem.

"Bella? You didn't answer me. Clearly you're thinking about something."

Bella was looking down and slowly her chocolate pools rose to meet my eyes. "Edward…do you…I mean…um…would you…I…"

"Bella, love, whatever it is, you can tell me."

She turned her signature color of red and her eyes returned back to what must be an absolutely fascinating knit to her on my sweater.

"Do you want to move in with us?"

It was so soft and muffled by the fact that Bella had turned her face into my chest that I almost missed it. I was praying that I heard her question correctly and it wasn't just me getting my hopes up either.

"What was that love?"

Bella looked at me and blushed even more, "Do you want to move in with E.J. and I?"

I didn't hesitate to answer at all, "There's no where else I would rather be."

Bella looked at me shocked, "Really?"

I frowned at this. Was she really surprised? Why would she ask me if she didn't want me to say "yes"?

She must've noticed my frown because Bella immediately cupped my cheeks with her hands.

"Oh Edward! I'm sorry! I'm just surprised you agreed so easily! I thought maybe you wouldn't want to move in here…like…like it was hurting your manly pride or something."

"Silly Bella!" I chuckled, "My 'manly pride'? Do you really think I'd let anything, and I mean anything, get in the way of us being together again?"

Bella giggled, "No…I guess not."

She pressed a kiss to my lips before letting out a deep sigh. It wasn't a sigh of longing or sadness or disappointment, it was a sigh of contentment.

"I can't wait to tell E.J. on Sunday when he comes home."

I smiled and pressed my lips to hers chastely, "Me either love. Me either."

We moved off the couch before our hormones got the better of us and started getting things together for dinner. Bella's chicken had been wonderful and this was the perfect way to end our week. I did miss our son, but it was nice to have a Friday and Saturday to ourselves without him. Our conversation flowed comfortably and we both reflected on how marvelous our past week had been.

I had returned to work and Alice couldn't have been happier. I actually came out into the store sometimes and talked to some of the customers. A few nights ago we had all gotten together for dinner as well. Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Emmett, Rosalie, Jacob, Seth, and Nessie all came over one night for a BBQ. E.J. and Nessie played late into the evening before passing out on the floor in the living room while watching "Night at the Museum." When the movie started E.J. begged me to take him to the Museum of Natural History. I just couldn't tell the boy "no" to anything it seemed.

After workdays I would head back home with Alice before showering and then walking over to see Bella and E.J. Sometimes even Alice and Jasper came over. E.J. especially loved it when Alice came over. Alice often helped him with any projects Jasper might've assigned (Jasper usually stayed out of it all together) or the two played some video games together. On nights Alice wasn't around, I read with E.J. or taught him to play the piano. When he went to sleep Bella and I usually talked more about the past or lay around and watched movies.

Bella and I moved to the couch with our two spoons and pint of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked. It was Bella's turn to pick out a movie for me to watch tonight. We had been taking turns and I had quite the long list of movies that I needed to see. The first movie that I had ever watched was "Star Wars." I had made a considerable dent in my list in the last 6 years, but there were still hundreds of films left for me to see.

She giggled, as she came back from the entertainment system, "I figured we'd watch one of your action movies since my last pick was the 1960's version of 'Romeo & Juliet'."

I smiled. My last pick had been the dramatic film "Atonement", and that unfortunately resulted in Bella in tears. She tried to assure me she cries easily in all movies where there is even a slight scene that is sad. Apparently she can't watch "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" at all anymore because she always ends up bawling at the end. She never told me why. Those films are still on my list to see. E.J. had made a list for me too after he found out that I was blind and hadn't seen a lot of movies. At the top of his list were the three "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies and all of the Pixar movies.

"So what are we watching love?"

"One of Emmett and Jasper's picks for you, '300'."

I nodded. I had heard all about that movie. It was supposed to be visually stunning and the special effects were amazing. I hoped it would blow me away like "the Matrix" had. Bella snuggled into my side as the movie started. I quickly paused it to put the ice cream away, both of us too full to attempt a bite.

The movie had been going for maybe half an hour or so. It was no lie, it was truly visually something. It was like the pictures from the graphic novel had come to life. And good lord, as secure in my masculinity as I am, I couldn't help but be awed by the bodies these actors had. I wonder if that is more of Hollywood's magic hard at work.

Bella's body snuggled into my side deeper as she flung a leg casually over my thigh. I bit my lip. She had to have noticed the considerably large bulge in my jeans. A moment after Bella had curled against my body, my eyes were unfortunately greeted with Gerard Butler's naked ass. My eyes bulged at the sight and my mouth flopped open. Was that entirely necessary?! Bella's fingers started to trace along my side and my thoughts were forgotten. What the hell was she doing? As the scene continued into a rather hard-core love scene, Bella's fingers pressed harder against my body, moving to trace the lines of my own abs. I felt myself twitch and my stomach tighten in a familiar way. I groaned loudly when Bella placed a soft kiss on my chest.

"Bella, love," I rasped, "What are you doing?"

My breathing had quickly turned ragged and the movie was forgotten the moment her fingers traced my side.

"Mmmmmm…" Bella hummed as she looked up at me, "Let's go upstairs."

I swallowed heavily and stood. Perhaps she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. Her eyes did look heavy. We had both worked pretty hard this week. She was anonymously doing press related things since "Love Story" the movie was coming out in theaters soon, and I had been painting up a storm and also making sales. Bella laced her fingers through mine as we made our way upstairs to her room. We walked slowly and I brought our joined hands up to my lips and placed a kiss on hers before I let go to go get ready for bed. Only Bella didn't let go of my hand.

"Bella?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

She didn't answer me but started leading me towards her bathroom. I swallowed heavily. What was she doing?

Bella let go of my hand and turned to face me as she pushed the door closed. She blushed and bit her bottom lip and my erection was throbbing. She leaned forward and tip toed, lightly kissing my lips as her hands trailed their way up my torso and chest. I shivered and grabbed her wrists.

"Bella, love, what are you doing?"

"Do you trust me Edward?" she all but whispered.

I was confused but I nodded. I let go of her wrists and let my hands drop to my sides. Bella's hands went to my top button and she undid it. She didn't want to…surely she didn't…I mean, it had been less than two weeks…was she ready? I don't think I'm ready….

"Bella…I-"

"Shhh…Edward, please, just trust me. It's not _that_…not yet," she giggled.

It was my turn to blush and let out an intelligent, "Oh."

Bella giggled again, "Relax Edward. Not like it's anything I haven't seen before."

She got quiet as she pushed my shirt open, "But I…I don't want you to be too…too overwhelmed you know? When we…um…when we finally…do it."

She was a delicious shade of red as she looked up into my eyes, questioning with her gaze whether I understood her or not. Of course, my love had a very good point. My Bella always amazed me when she proved to think of everything. Seeing her for the first time was overwhelming enough, but seeing her glorious body naked for the first time…well, I could feel my breathing picking up and my eyes prickle.

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her hair, "Oh love…what did I do to deserve you back in my life?"

"We belong together Edward. We always have," Bella whispered into my bare chest. Her warm breath gave me goosebumps.

She picked up my hands and slipped them under her plain black t-shirt. I gasped and felt her tremble a bit.

"Just take your time," she whispered.

My hands slowly moved up the smooth skin of her stomach. I stopped as I met the bottom of her rib cage. There was one question that was lingering in the back of my mind. Part of me didn't ever want to know the answer, but the other part of me HAD to know. I thought back to that day she had cut her finger and blurted out things I was unaware she knew. We had never spoken of that incident again. I wasn't sure she even remembered it clearly.

"Bella," I said softly, "I have to ask you something…but I…you don't have to answer…"

"There's been no one else Edward," she said softly. My eyes almost bugged out of my head as I met her gaze. I only saw truth and sincerity there.

"I couldn't even go on a date. I have always been in love with you. You were it for me, whether I ended up with you again or not."

Her eyes looked at the ground, "I didn't plan on ever being with anyone again unless it was you."

We were silent for a minute as I took in her confession.

"Edward," Bella whispered, breaking our silence, "Did you…"

"No," I said firmly, "I went on the three dates Alice and Rosalie set me up, but I never went out again with any of the girls and I never put much effort forth. None of them were you and I had no desire to be with anyone but you. Even if that meant I was alone forever."

I saw the tears begin to well up in Bella's eyes and I immediately regretted my words. I had come on too strongly, I-

My train of thought was derailed as Bella's lips smashed against my own. I moaned as her tongue traced my lips before plunging into my mouth and fighting with my own. Our hands became frantic. I moaned as I felt her hands trail up and down my chest and abdomen. My erection was throbbing and I jumped as Bella's hand ghosted over the jean prison.

"Bella…" I half panted, half moaned, "I…I…"

I couldn't even form a thought as Bella's lips worked a nice trail over my neck and collarbone as her hands pushed my jeans down my hips. It felt like my hands were acting on their own as I moved Bella's shirt up and over her head. I let her shirt fall to the floor and I gasped when I looked down at her. She may have been in a simple cream-colored bra, but she was perfect. My erection throbbed and had pitched a rather large and prominent tent. I could feel my eyes prickling and blushed a bit due to how emotional I was getting.

However Bella being Bella, knew exactly what to do. Her hands came up and cupped my cheeks, her thumbs making small circles. She leaned up on her tiptoes and lightly kissed my lips.

"It's okay," she whispered, "Keep going when you're ready."

She kept one hand on my cheek and the other snaked behind my head and curled itself into my hair. I turned my head and placed a kiss into her palm before my shaky hands made their way to the button of her jeans. Bella said nothing as she lightly scratched my scalp with her nails and traced the faint bit of stubble on my jaw. I couldn't bring myself to look up at Bella's eyes. I was blushing beyond belief but Bella was putting me at ease with each of her gentle touches. I fumbled with the button of her jeans, but she said nothing. I pushed her jeans past her hips and Bella wiggled the rest of the way out of them. She stepped out and my breaths were catching in my throat. She had on white cotton boy shorts hanging deliciously low on her hips.

I let out a strangled sounding moan/sob as I let my forehead rest against Bella's, my eyes closed tight.

"What is it baby?" Bella whispered, one hand remaining on my cheek while the other moved to rub up and down my arm. I realized then that my hands were clutching Bella's hips tightly and my breathing was ragged.

"You're so beautiful…" I whispered. Bella slowly leaned back and brushed her lips softly against my own. She untangled our arms and I took the moment to run a hand through my hair and take some deep breaths. The shower turned on and my hand continued its cycle of running through my hair. I had kept my eyes on the floor, too nervous to chance a look at Bella's practically naked body. The thoughts alone were doing nothing to help my current, rather sensitive, state.

"Edward," Bella called softly. I walked slowly towards her voice but still couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"Edward," she said softly again, only now I knew she was standing right in front of me as her perfect little feet came into my view. God, even her feet were attractive. One of her small hands was on my cheek and ever so slowly I let my eyes trail up her body.

Bella's creamy, smooth legs seemed miles long before they met with the swell of her sinful hips. Her pale flat stomach showed no evidence of ever having a child. I let my eyes continue up to her breasts. I didn't let my eyes linger there as my erection throbbed painfully in my boxers. I took in her long slender neck and finally met the milk chocolate pools of her eyes.

"Do you still trust me?" she whispered, her hand brushing my cheek lovingly.

I took a deep breath and nodded. I knew she didn't want to go all the way tonight, but I was still nervous about what exactly she was planning to do here. My mind was a jumbled fog and the air was thick with so many emotions. We stood in front of each other in only our underwear, the most naked I had been in the presence of any other person since Bella left me. Both of us were breathing heavily, but I couldn't help but trust in Bella. She had never led me astray in high school and I didn't think she would do it now.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I watched as Bella reached behind her and popped the clasp of her bra. She looked away from my face for the first time and my eyes experienced the divine beauty of Bella's creamy pale skin. She shyly slipped the straps from her arms and let the bra fall to the floor. My breath stuck in my throat and I was stunned into silence. She was absolute perfection, a goddess.

I saw the deep red spread to the rounded tops of her breasts and she brought her arms up to cover herself. I quickly stilled her hands, finally finding my voice.

"Bella, love, what is it? Do you want to stop?"

She didn't look up, "I'm a disappointment to you aren't I?"

My hands quickly cupped her cheeks and pulled her face up to look at mine. "Bella! Why would you say that? You're more perfect than my mind can even comprehend!"

Bella's eyes were glassy and I knew that she was on the verge of tears and she was gnawing away at her bottom lip. I let my thumb gently draw her lip out from between her teeth. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers softly. As the fog cleared from my brain I realized that in another turn of events I was now the one reassuring Bella. I pulled away so that our faces were just inches apart.

"You're so beautiful my Bella," I whispered, "More beautiful than I could have imagined."

I slipped my hands back down to hers and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I mean this in the least…um…perverted way possible, but please don't hide yourself from me love."

Bella giggled softly before stretching up and pressing her lips to mine again. As I closed my eyes and just felt what was happening around us, I felt her small hands on my bare chest and I was painfully aware of my throbbing erection between us. I let my hands slide down her arms and rest on her shoulders. Her hands locked behind my neck and when our bodies touched it was like the room went up in flames.

I moaned loudly, the feel of her hard nipples brushing against my chest making me shiver and my stomach muscles clench. I let my hands travel down her bare back and felt her shiver as I let them rest on her hips. Bella broke our kiss first, moving on to place soft kisses along my jaw.

"Edward," she whispered, "Open you eyes love."

I swallowed heavily and slowly let my eyes slide open. She smiled up at me as I felt her fingers curl in the hair at the base of my neck. I couldn't help but let my eyes roll back into my head and felt my cock twitch from the sensation.

"The shower is ready when you are Edward."

I could feel my hands trembling as I really looked down at her body the first time. Her breasts weren't too big or too small for her frame. They were perfect and her peaks were pebbled from the air. It looked as if they would fit perfectly in my hands. Her waist gradually flared out into the delicious curvy hips where my hands currently rested. I wanted to worship her body for a multitude of reasons. One of which was the fact that her body had gave life to one of the most precious things in my life, our son.

Bella said nothing as her hands slowly traced down my chest and sides. Every muscle in my body was twitching with anticipation of where he hands were going to travel to next. As her hands came to rest on my hips, her pointer fingers dipped into the waistband of my boxers. My breathing hitched, and I had the brief thought that I wished I could be handling things in a more manly way. Perhaps it was karma for making fun of Emmett earlier.

"Trust Edward…" Bella softly as her fingers slowly started to guide my boxers down. My hands remained on her hips and I squeezed tight when I heard her soft gasp as my erection finally sprung free from it's clothed prison. Bella let the boxers fall the rest of the way and I stepped out of them slowly, still keeping my grip on her hips. I had been watching her face as she did this, and she had yet to look back up at me.

"I forgot how…how big you were…" Bella murmured. It was my turn to blush and the heat in the room tripled. Bella finally tore her gaze away and met mine.

"Your turn," she said as she placed her hands on top of mine and hooked her fingers into the waistband of her panties. Ever so slowly she moved our hands in unison and drew down the thin cotton. Bella had turned her gaze to her hands as she pushed them further down her legs. I kept my eyes on her hair. I couldn't watch. My breathing was uneven and I was trying desperately to get it under control. I felt Bella's body shift as she stepped out of her discarded underwear and she slowly looked up to meet my eyes.

"Shall we shower?" she asked softly. My voice had still not come back to me so all I could do was nod again. As she led me by the hands it finally occurred to me that Bella was thinking of everything. It made me wonder if she had planned ahead for this. The shower was indeed a good idea. At least things wouldn't get as…messy.

I stepped in and closed the shower door. I could feel the heat from the water and in the air. My eyes watched Bella's every movement as she let go of my hands and stood under the water. Her back was facing me and I watched as the water changed her mahogany hair to black and the rivulets of water that started to run over shoulder and down her back. I watched her, frozen in my spot, only aware of my hands clenched tightly in fists and my cock that felt like it was going to explode at any minute.

I let out a soft moan when she turned to face me. Her eyes were closed and she brought her hands up to her hair to run the water through. I was fascinated as her breasts swayed from her motion, her skin glistening from the water. I stared at the different paths that the water took down her body, from her long neck to the small patch of dark hair between her thighs, to the tips of her toes. Her body was divine perfection and I wanted to worship it.

"Come here," Bella whispered. I snapped out of my daze and saw Bella smiling at me with an arm outstretched towards me. I gently took it and let Bella pull me forward into the spray. I shivered, but not from the temperature. Our naked bodies were only inches away from each other as I let the water pour down my back. I watched as Bella grabbed her shampoo and poured it into her hand.

"I'm afraid you might smell like strawberries," She giggled. I couldn't help but laugh with her.

Finally finding my voice, I told her, "It won't be so bad. It would be like having your scent wrapped around me all day."

She laughed again, "Okay silly. Come here."

Bella's little hands in my hair almost caused me to blow my load as soon as she raked them through the first time. I threw my hands out to support myself against the walls as I felt my eyes roll back in my head. It felt so good to have her doing this. Thankfully as she reached up to reach my hair, she avoided all contact with my lower half. I think one touch and I would be done.

After rinsing my hair, I laughed again as Bella lathered up her hands with her freesia body wash. "Love, I'm going to smell like a flower garden by the time I get out of here."

She smiled and placed a soft kiss on my cheek as she started to wash my back and shoulders. "Well, once you move in, we'll get you all the shower things you'll need so you'll smell like a manly man and not a flowery girl."

"Well…that would be nice," I chuckled as Bella moved on to my chest. I shivered and my stomach muscles were clenching like mad. I would definitely have to stop her before she got to my lower half. Bella's hands splayed across my abs and my hips jutted forward on their own accord. Her hands froze.

"Bella, love, I think you have to stop," my breathing had gone uneven again.

Without a word, one arm came up to the back of my head and pulled my face down to hers. She kissed me softly, but with purpose, as her lips nipped at mine. I moaned as her other hand snaked lower and traced my hipbone. I broke away and rested my forehead against hers, panting.

"Bella…I…I can't keep controlling myself like this…" my hands gripped her hips in an attempt to control the both of us.

"Trust Edward…" she whispered as she nipped at my lips.

When I saw her hand wrap around the base of my erection, I cried out and my hips bucked forward on their own. My brain wanted to tell my hands to move to stop her, but once she started to pump me, I couldn't think. My eyes clenched shut and I let out a long and strangled moan. Her lips were on mine again and we both moaned into the kiss.

It didn't take long for me to feel all the tell tale signs that my release was coming. Four slow pumps of her hand and I found myself breaking our kiss and crying out a very garbled up version of her name as I tried to push her body out of way. She wouldn't move and my eyes clenched even tighter, not wanting to even imagine the fact that I had just come on her.

My breaths were heavy as I released Bella's hips and staggered back into the corner of the shower. While my orgasm was better than any I had in the past weeks, I was horrified that I had come all over Bella. I kept my eyes clenched shut as I tried to regain my breath.

"Bella…I…why didn't you move? I'm sorry I-"

Bella cut me off as I felt her hands on my cheeks, "Edward look at me."

I shook my head, my remorse of my actions and my lack of control weighing heavily on my mind. Her grip on my cheeks became tighter and I felt her close proximity to my body as her lips lightly grazed my own.

"Please Edward, look at me."

I slowly let my eyes open and met her determined brown ones.

"Edward, there is nothing to apologize for or feel guilty about."

I was about to open my mouth to protest but she quickly covered it with her hand.

"Edward, I knew what was going to happen. Why do you think we're in the shower?"

The earlier thought I had about her planning ahead made perfect sense. The shower was easy to clean up, and so were we in here.

"Can I apologize for…for overreacting?" I said quietly.

"No," Bella said back softly, "There is NOTHING to apologize for. I imagined that this was going to be very…overwhelming for you. That's why I suggested the shower. You have nothing to apologize for love."

She pressed her lips to mine again slowly, and I gradually let my lips react to the kiss. I still felt like…less than a gentleman for letting myself go on her body like that. It was degrading in my mind and I couldn't understand how some people got off on that. Bella broke away and smiled.

"If you still feel bad, you can make up for it by washing me."

I very slowly proceeded to wash Bella as she had done to me. Her hair was smooth in my fingertips as I ran the shampoo and conditioner through her long locks. Bella sighed as my fingers massaged her scalp. My formerly soft member was now making a rapid recovery with every noise she made. All of my movements were tentative as I began to wash her body.

"I'm not going to break Edward," Bella said, "I want you to touch me. Feel me Edward."

I swallowed heavily as I washed her arms and back. Her skin was satin smooth as I moved on to her chest and stomach. I felt my fingers tremble slightly as they grazed over her breasts. Bella let out a soft whimper and I looked up to see her eyes watching my hands intently and her bottom lip sucked into her mouth. I moved one hand to raise her chin and I pressed our lips together. The other moved to fully cup her breast and we both let out deep moans. I loved the weight of her breast in my hand and it fit perfectly there, like they were just for me to hold. I continued to kiss her as I switched to her other breast, massaging and "washing" each thoroughly.

By the time I was finished exploring Bella's body as much as she let me, I was fully hard again, and she unfortunately noticed. I was not allowed to reciprocate my previous pleasure on her. Apparently this was just about me. I allowed her to use her hands on me again, but I leaned with my hands against the wall and made her stand behind me. I did NOT want a repeat of defiling her body like that again. It took longer, but not by much, as I watched her hands this time and she nibbled and sucked along my shoulder blades.

After drying each other off thoroughly, we remained naked and drifted in her bedroom. She reasoned with me that we needed to get reacquainted with each other in this way and this would cut the sexual tension between us. After locking her bedroom door (on the rare chance Angela, Emmett or Rosalie might show up unannounced), we collapsed in her bed.

We lay facing each other and the light coming in her large French windows illuminated the room enough so we could see each other clearly. We kissed each other softly and gently, hands caressing each other's skin reverently. Bella scooted closer and pressed her body into my side like she normally did. As she sighed, her breath fanned out across my skin and I shivered. Bella's hand ran very slow circles around my chest as I let my hand rake through her damp strands. Both of our breaths were even and in synch and I could feel her heartbeat thumping softly in her chest. I let out a deep breath, and wanted to ask her if I might give her the release she gave me, but my eyes were slumping closed, my body exhausted from the day and my rather intense orgasms in the shower.

Before I let my eyes close for the night I whispered, "I love you my Bella."

She softly nuzzled my chest as she mumbled back, "I love you too Edward."

When I woke from one of the best nights of rest I've ever had, I could feel Bella's light and even breaths on my chest. The light from a rare sunny November morning was shining on the bed and I could feel the faint heat. I hummed in contentment as I slowly let my eyes open. My whole…being felt lighter and free for the first time in years.

In the early morning light, Bella's skin seemed to glow. The sheets were pooled around our waists and the bare skin of her back was luminous. I watched as my hand drew little patterns around her spine. I heard Bella hum and she smiled against my chest before placing a soft kiss there and slowly sitting up.

I couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as I took her in. The light coming from the window behind her made her look ethereal and if it wasn't for her small hand reaching forward and cupping my cheek, I would've thought she was an angel and not real. She slowly leaned down and pressed her lips ghost against mine in the gentlest of kisses.

It didn't take long for our kisses to become more heated and I softly pushed her so that she was on her back. Our lips never left each other's and her hands quickly buried themselves in my hair. We both moaned as our naked torsos pressed against each other my little morning problem pressed against her thigh.

I broke away from her lips and trailed sweet kisses over her face and lips before moving down to her neck.

"Edward…" Bella moaned in a breathy whisper.

As I moved further down her chest, Bella's moans got louder and deeper. I let my hand play along her sides before tracing around her hipbone. My tongue traced circles around her nipple before I sucked it into my mouth. Bella cried out and steeled her grip on my hair. I groaned as I let my hand trail down to once familiar territory.

"Edward…Edward…" she panted, her little hands trying in vain to pull my head up to look at her. As my fingers traced along between her hipbones, I released her from my mouth and looked up.

She was beautiful. All flushed and a slight sheen of sweat making her skin glisten and almost sparkle in the light. Her chest was heaving and I couldn't help but let my eyes wander to her breasts swaying with her breaths.

"Please love…trust…" I whispered before lowering my lips to hers.

Bella gave in to our kiss and her hips arched up towards my own. I closed my eyes and hummed as I let my hand wander lower. She was so wet that I slipped in easily, my fingers remembering her body precisely. I could feel her pulse racing and as I drew my fingers higher, Bella broke her mouth away from mine and cried out.

One of Bella's hands stayed fisted tightly in my hair and the other dropped to the bed, holding the sheets in a death grip. I watched, completely captivated as her eyes clenched shut and her mouth opened in a small O as she whimpered. Her cries of pleasure were going straight to my now throbbing erection. The muscle memory of my fingers proved to be excellent and I let them easily do all the work against Bella's undulating hips. Bella began to cry out repeatedly and I felt her grow tighter and tighter around my fingers. Amazingly, her grip on my hair got even tighter and I was entranced as I watched her throw her head back into the pillows and her mouth opened in a silent scream

It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. She whimpered as she rode out her release, her grip never loosening its hold on my hair. I could finally hear my own breaths and they were completely ragged like Bella's. Both of our chests were heaving and my body was hyper aware of Bella's. I placed soft open mouthed kisses on her breasts and worked my way up her neck until I was met with her plump lips. She moaned softly as I nibbled at her lower lip.

I slowly broke away and when I looked down I was greeted with her gorgeous smile and chocolate pools full of nothing but love. Her face was flushed from our activity, yet her skin still seemed to glow like an angel. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Edward…that…that was…" She panted, "that was…"

"Mmmm…" I nuzzled her neck, "Good morning love."

"Good morning indeed…" she trailed off, placing kisses wherever she could reach.

We remained in bed kissing softly for a few more minutes before untangling our limbs and taking a shower together. My sneaky little vixen Bella used the excuse of saving water in order to get me to agree to showering together. She also took care of my morning "problem", but not before I could return the favor, of course under the pretenses that she had made us uneven.

The rest of our E.J.-free Saturday was spent naked. We only threw on clothes, me my boxers and Bella in a silky night gown, to eat our three meals of the day. Once we were finished cooking and eating, the clothes came off again and we lounged around just basking in being together. Bella did some interviews about "Love Story" through email and I played a song that had been rolling around in my head for some time. After a quick pasta dinner, we finally watched "300".

As we lay wrapped up in her comforter, naked of course, I miraculously evened out the orgasm score. Unfortunately that meant I would have to watch "300" again, seeing as I missed a good chunk of it...again. I lay on my back as Bella lay with her head propped up on her hands on my chest and we gazed at each other. Bella's eyes were getting heavy and I felt mine doing the same. I placed a soft kiss in her hair before whispering "I love you". I felt the perfect lips of my love press a kiss into my chest before she snuggled closer. As my mind began to drift into dreams, I couldn't help but pray to dream about how content I was to be falling asleep with Bella in my arms and the fact that finally, life was working out for us. That night I had a dream about a wedding...Bella was a vision in white, floating towards me. Everything was hazy and only her face was clear, but I knew without a doubt, that I was going to ask her to be my wife.

**Well? Yes? No? This chapter made me nervous. I honestly don't know that I did a good job with the semi-lemon. Let me know? I hope you all can understand about the need for them to take things slowly. I believe someone once told me patience is a virtue…**

**I might've been ridiculously hung over on Sunday, but I had no class on Monday so I finished this chapter. :- ) If you haven't yet, please check out my other short little story "You Belong With Me". Well, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I hope it was able to please some of you citrus addicts. :-P Review if you can. Pretty please? (I did say "please" a lot :-P)**

**P.S. I have a feeling we're going to hear from Bella next...and I might possibly start some more drama...I haven't decided yet :-P**


	20. Chapter 19: Knock You Down

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: So, I have a question. Since none of you, besides my friend ajenc, reviewed in the last chapter, should I just leave out all citrusy action in the future? I'm quite disappointed, especially in all of you who have been bothering me to add in more citrus (you know who you are). I don't really write lemons, but I was looking forward to seeing what you guys thought, see if I could get any feedback to improve on my writing. Oh well. Nothing I can do about that now. Enjoy this chapter. It's…an interesting one. **

_**I never thought I'd be in love like this**_

_**When I look at you my mind goes on a trip**_

_**Then you came in**_

_**And knocked me on my face**_

_**Feels like I'm in a race**_

_**But I've already won first place**_

_**I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did**_

_**You got me thinking 'bout our life, our house, and kids**_

_**Every morning I look at you and smile**_

'_**Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down**_

_**Sometimes love comes around **_

_**And it knocks you down**_

_**Just get back up when it knocks you down **_

_**-Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo, "Knock You Down"**_

Chapter 19: Knock You Down

_**BPOV**_

I was never a huge fan of flying. When Emmett and I moved E.J. to New York from Montana, I was a nervous wreck. He was still so young. I especially wasn't looking forward to this flight. We were currently an hour out of Port Angeles. This was going to be the first time that I had returned to Forks since I left Edward and my heart behind. I was doing all I could to not let it affect me. Especially in front of Edward and E.J. Both of them were so excited to be going. E.J. was excited to meet his grandparents and Edward was excited for them to meet E.J. I was not excited in the slightest. I was Isabella Swan, the no good daughter that didn't even show up to her father's funeral. Unfortunately, I also had some matters to attend to involving Charlie's home and assets while I was in Forks. Something else I wasn't looking forward to.

Since it was Thanksgiving and I didn't want to deal with the holiday traffic, I had chartered us a private jet. Being "Izzie McCarty" certainly did have its privileges at times. When I looked to my left, Emmett and Rosalie were curled up against each other in the large plush seats that practically reclined into beds. You could see in that moment how much they truly loved each other. I remember the day they met. Emmett was so taken by Rosalie's beauty at first, but it was her feisty personality that sealed the deal for him. For her, it was also his muscles and dimples that captured her attention first, but it was his loveable and loyal personality that had Rosalie agreeing to a date. I remember that time was hard for me. It was like up out of nowhere that love came and just knocked Emmett off his feet. If I didn't have E.J. with me, I might have just given up on life at that time. I was so certain love wasn't coming back to me. I had already known then that Edward was the only man I was ever going to love.

When I looked to my right, I sighed, happily. Love had come back to me. It certainly threw me for a loop and knocked me on my ass, but it had come back to me. Edward was reclined back and fast asleep. His hair was sticking out everywhere but his face was the absolute picture of calm. A little smile looked to be tugging at his lips, and as usual, even in his sleep, he was touching me. His hand was resting on my thigh while his other arm was wrapped around our son. E.J. was sprawled out on Edward's chest, his head tucked under Edward's chin, and his hands tightly fisted in Edward's hoodie. I had covered them with a blanket when they both passed out.

I couldn't sleep at all. I was completely on edge about returning to Forks. Especially since "Love Story" had come out in theaters last week. There were very few people who knew that I was "Izzie McCarty", but I still felt uneasy. When I agreed to the movie, I never would've thought that I would be seeing Edward ever again. Nor did I think he would watch it. He had agreed to come to the premiere with me. I of course had to go in secret and I ended up meeting with the actors and director, and watched the movie, but I was nervous about Edward being there. It had been quite the experience for the both of us.

_Flashback_

"_Calm down love," Edward whispered in my ear before placing a kiss there. We were sitting in the theater and waiting for the movie to begin. Angela and Ben had come, in large part because Angela was my assistant, but also because their characters were in the movie too. I was so nervous, but there was no way I could just disappear for an evening without Edward noticing. He had been moving stuff over all week. E.J. couldn't wait for Edward to be living with us officially and often accompanied him to bring things over from his apartment. _

_Edward wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to his side, having put the armrests up so we could cuddle together. He kissed my temple and nuzzled my hair. Ever since we had been getting physically more reacquainted with each other, Edward couldn't seem to keep his hands off of me. He was almost always touching me in some way or another when we were together. _

"_I'm just so nervous to see the final product," I whispered. Of course I was more nervous about the fact that Edward was going to be seeing the final product. I knew he had read the book and everything, but seeing it being played by real people was going to be unreal. The actor they cast to play "Robert" looked exactly like Edward and the girl they cast to play "Kristen" looked exactly like me. Movies were mostly overwhelming for Edward as it was, but this…this was how our life should've been. How everything should have been if I had never gotten pregnant. It was bittersweet though…because if I had never gotten pregnant, we would never have had E.J. and I couldn't imagine life without him. _

_When the lights went down Edward squeezed me tighter and grinned at me before turning his eyes to the screen. I was sure that I had pretty much bitten my bottom lip off by the time the movie was finished. Edward hadn't moved or said anything the entire movie. I was terrified of what he was going to think. When the lights came up I shyly peeked up at him from under my lashes. He was looking down at his lap, his brows furrowed, and he looked deep in thought. His grip on me didn't loosen the entire movie either._

"_Edward?" I whispered._

_His head snapped up as he said, "Hm?"_

_Before I could ask him what he was thinking, Angela and Ben were at my side._

"_Bella, the director and the lead actors would like to meet you in private. The production company has set up a private room at the after party."_

"_Oh…um…do you think it's secure?"_

_I didn't want all my anonymity to be lost in a night. I trusted Angela when she nodded and she and Ben led Edward and I out to the limos to take us to the after party. Edward still hadn't said anything, but he intertwined our fingers and occasionally placed kisses on our joined hands. I didn't want to ask him what he thought of the movie in front of Angela and Ben. _

_I was stunned silent when we met with the actors and director in the secure room. Edward and his on-screen doppelganger were chatting quietly while I spoke with the director and my on-screen self. I couldn't tell Edward that the reason why I couldn't watch "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" was because his on-screen self, who also played Cedric Diggory, looked so much like Edward that I couldn't bare to watch him die. Both the actors had done such fine jobs in "Love Story" and I thought everything was going fine before the director asked the one question I was hoping he wouldn't._

"_So what happened between the end of 'Love Story' and now? Clearly you two are living out Robert and Kristen's happily ever after."_

_I froze. In "Love Story" there was no E.J. It ended with Kristen waking up from the surgery and being able to see. I didn't know what to say. I was blushing profusely as everyone looked at me expectantly for an answer. I saw Angela fidget nervously, unsure of anything she could say. I jumped slightly when Edward squeezed my side._

"_Well, we both went on to become successful professionals. I am an artist and as you know, Bella here became a successful author."_

_The director laughed and clapped Edward on the shoulder before we all started to exchange our good-byes and congratulations. It was a little before 10pm, and though E.J. was staying with Emmett and Rosalie tonight, I wanted to get out of here. I needed to know what Edward was thinking before I drove myself crazy. _

_Edward remained silent in the limo until we had dropped off Angela and Ben. _

"_So," he started out slowly, "I can see why watching 'Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire' bothers you now. That guy looks exactly like I did when I was in high school." _

_I couldn't help but chuckle softly, "Yeah…I actually um….recommended they get him for the role. The girl too…she looks exactly like me."_

_Edward's finger under my chin drew my face up to his. _

"_No, she doesn't. No one could ever look as beautiful and perfect as you do."_

_Our lips met quickly and we both moaned at the contact. Edward was getting more and more comfortable with initiating any physical affection between the two of us. His hands roamed over the material of the cobalt blue, one shoulder, ruffled dress that Alice had designed for me. My hands raked through his hair as we continued to make-out like two teenagers coming back from their prom. Our driver clearing his throat loudly broke us apart and I was blushing profusely when I saw Cameron chuckling by the door to our building._

_After tipping the driver Edward led me towards home. Cameron chuckled before he spoke._

"_Did we have a good night Mr. and Mrs. Cullen?"_

_We both blushed and nodded as Cameron couldn't hold back any more and laughed loudly. I was not used to being called "Mrs. Cullen", but I couldn't deny that I REALLY liked the sound of it._

"_Well, by all means, don't let me keep you. Have a good evening." _

_Since E.J. was out of the house for the night, Edward and I took our time going around the apartment. As I took out some glasses for some wine, Edward came up behind me and began to rub my bare shoulder before leaning in and kissing my neck._

"_Let's take a bath…relax a little bit?" he whispered in my ear, nuzzling it. _

_I sighed, the bath sounded wonderful, but I knew once we got in there, Edward would be too distracted to form any real coherent thoughts. Not that I was one to talk. I was no better myself once Edward's shirt came off. _

"_Can I ask you something Edward? Before we get into the bath?"_

_I wanted to make sure he knew that I still very much wanted to take that bath with him. I definitely wanted to make use of the fact that E.J. was not at home. I had turned around so I could look Edward in the eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at me questioningly. _

"_Okay…what did you want to ask me love?" _

_I bit my lip before I started talking, "Edward, you've been quiet ever since the movie ended. You haven't said a word about the film or…or anything the director said. What were you thinking about…about everything?"_

_I didn't realize that I had tears collecting in my eyes until one slipped down my cheek and Edward's hand quickly came up to wipe it away. I was so scared about what Edward had thought. I thought that he hated it because it was the happy ending that we never got. That we had to be miserable and suffering without each other for over 6 years. _

"_Bella, love, why are you crying?"_

_I sniffled, "Because you hated it right? You hated watching what should've been between us. What our life would've been like if I had never left you…"_

_Edward's hands cupped both of my cheeks as he leaned down and pressed our lips together softly. When our lips left each other, he rested his forehead against mine and sighed._

"_I was just…just surprised. It was so surreal to be watching a life that I had experienced but never really seen."_

_I pulled away and looked up into Edward's eyes as he continued._

"_Bella, love, while that might've been the life that would've been, I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything. I wouldn't give up finding you again or having E.J. with us for anything. This is the happily ever after that I want…not the one that you gave to Robert and Kristen. I have you, I have E.J…I have everything that I always wanted."_

_Edward's finger trailed down my cheek softly and I closed my eyes and whispered, "I love you Edward."_

_His lips met mine again in an amazing kiss. It was so full of truth and love that I couldn't help but believe that all of his words were true. He was right. If life had gone the way I had written it in "Love Story", we wouldn't have E.J. right now, and I couldn't even imagine where we would have ended up. I might never have become "Izzie McCarty" and he might not have turned to painting. _

"_Let's go take a bath," I murmured against his lips._

_Edward broke our kiss and laced his fingers through mine as we headed up to our bedroom. OUR bedroom. I loved the sound of that. There were only a few more boxes to bring over tomorrow and Edward would be fully moved in. We took our time removing our clothing. Edward looked especially handsome tonight in the classic tuxedo he had worn. Neither of us blushed anymore when we were naked in front of each other. Edward drew a warm bath and made a delightful bubble bath for us. The smells of lavender were instantly calming my body and mind. I felt much better now knowing what Edward had thought of the movie. _

_As was common with our joint bath times, Edward and I ended up getting quite…aroused and our hands couldn't be kept to themselves. Edward no longer needed my leading or prompting and he often was the one to venture off into more "pleasurable" bath time rituals first. Tonight was no different. I swear the man's hands are magic and haven't forgotten where I wanted his touch the most, and there was nothing more arousing than the sounds he made when he fell over the edge. _

_After drying each other off thoroughly, Edward slipped into his boxers while I slipped into some boy shirts and one of his t-shirts. He claimed there was nothing sexier than me in his clothes. I snuggled into my place on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me securely._

"_I love you Isabella. Never doubt that this is the life I want."_

_I leaned up and softly kissed his lips, "I love you too Edward. You are my life now."_

"_Mmmm…" he hummed, "as you are mine my love."_

_End Flashback_

E.J. beginning to squirm and mumble drew me out of my memories. Edward's hand squeezed my thigh and when I looked over at them, his emerald eyes were staring back at me.

"Good morning love," I whispered, brushing stray locks of hair away from his face.

His beautiful crooked smile spread across his face as he whispered back, "Good afternoon love."

I saw E.J.'s little eyes open and I smiled as he turned and buried his face into Edward's chest. We had left New York at 12 noon and E.J. missed school today. Esme and Carlisle were going to meet us in Port Angeles when we landed around 2:30 PST and drive us the hour back to Forks. E.J. was tired from last night. I didn't entirely approve that Edward had let him stay up late last night, but at least Edward was correct in the fact that E.J. would sleep the entire flight. Edward still had to learn that our son was one of the hardest people to wake up. I would've thought Edward would know that. He was exactly the same way.

"Time to wake up E.J.," I whispered as I kissed his head and nuzzled his hair. I heard his muffled giggle and Edward laughed. I sat up and let E.J. sit up on Edward's lap. He rubbed his little eyes and glanced around.

"Are we there yet?"

Just as I was about to answer the pilot let us know that we were beginning to make our decent into Port Angeles. Our one flight attendant came by and offered us all warm towels and roused Emmett and Rosalie. E.J. turned and looked out the window.

"I can see the ocean!" he shouted excitedly, "It's so blue!"

All the adults laughed as we watched E.J. press his face against the window. He was so excited to be on the plane and also to be meeting his grandparents. I was nervous again as I thought about Esme and Carlisle. I know they said everything was fine the multiple times I had spoken to them on the phone, but I didn't know what seeing them in person would be like. I was also scared that they might not like E.J. or he might disappoint them in some way.

We landed smoothly and Edward laced his hand through mine as he carried E.J. off the plane. Once on the ground, Edward put E.J. down and held his hand as we moved to go get our bags. I was never going to get used to the sight of Edward and E.J. together. It was a vision like out of a dream. A dream I never thought was possible until love came back to me. As we gathered all of our bags I heard the familiar voice of Carlisle Cullen.

"Edward! Bella!"

E.J. shook his hand loose and wrapped his arms around Edward's leg, hiding behind it. I had never seen him get shy like this before. I smiled timidly and Edward tried to encourage E.J. to come out from hiding. In the 6 years since I had last seen Carlisle and Esme Cullen, nothing appeared to have changed. Carlisle wore a navy blue coat over khakis and a light blue shirt and white tie. His blond hair and blue eyes looked ever as youthful as the day I met him 15 years ago. Esme looked like she wasn't old enough to have child Edward's age, nor should she be old enough to be called a grandmother. Her caramel colored hair (which is no doubt where Edward and now E.J. got their hair color from) was as vibrant as ever and the long black coat she wore looked to covering a dress or skirt with her black ballet flats.

Esme walked forward and wrapped her arms around me as Carlisle shook hands with Edward. Emmett and Rosalie both waited patiently next to our bags, smiling at the family reunion.

"Oh Bella!" Esme cried as she squeezed me in a hug, "It's so good to see you! We've missed you here sweetheart!"

I couldn't help but let my eyes water. I had missed Esme so much. She was always like the mother that I never had once they had moved to Forks. She released me and held my shoulders, her own eyes sparkling with tears.

"I'm so glad you two found each other again."

I smiled, "Me too Esme."

"Bella," I heard Carlisle say as he opened his arms to me and stepped into his hug.

"Hello Carlisle. It's so good to see you."

I could faintly hear Esme's muffled words as she hugged Edward tightly. I could see that E.J. was still hiding behind Edward's leg, but was peeking out at Esme and Carlisle. As he is Edward's son, I knew, even at this young age, that he wanted everything to be perfect when he first met his grandparents. He had been looking forward to it ever since I told him we were coming on this trip.

"Mom, Dad," Edward started, "There's someone here that Bella and I really want you to meet."

"Me right!" Emmett boomed, dissolving into laughter. Rosalie quickly slapped him upside the head and hissed at him to be quiet. I knew Emmett was just trying to make E.J. relax and it definitely worked because I heard E.J.'s laugh.

"You're silly Uncle Emmett! Daddy is talking about me!"

E.J. was no longer shy and he stepped around Edward, as if to prove that Edward was in fact, talking about him and not Emmett. He walked straight up to Carlisle and Esme and extended his little hand.

"Grandpa Carlisle, Grandma Esme, I'm Edward James Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I could see that even Carlisle had tears in his eyes as he bent down to E.J.'s height and shook hands with him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Edward James."

"You can call me E.J. Grandpa Carlisle." E.J. flashed Carlisle that crooked smile that he had inherited from Edward and I could see the tears spilling over Esme's cheeks. I'm sure she must've been overwhelmed by the fact that E.J. also looked exactly like Edward.

E.J. moved so that he was in front of Esme and tugged at the bottom of her coat, "Grandma Esme, are you sad? Don't be sad. I have a picture I drew for you in my bag."

Esme sniffled and then laughed softly, "Oh E.J., I'm just so happy to finally meet you. May I have a hug?"

E.J. practically threw himself at Esme and she swept him up off his feet. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling.

"Oh lord," she whispered, "I'm a grandma."

"The most beautiful grandma in the world," Carlisle beamed, flashing her his own crooked smile. Those Cullen men…I don't think they understand just how powerful their smiles are.

"Grandpa Carlisle is right," E.J. said as he pulled back to look at Esme, "You're very pretty Grandma Esme."

Emmett walked up then and introduced himself, "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, it's nice to see you again. Thankfully under much better circumstances."

I bit my lip. Of course. They had briefly met at Charlie's funeral, the day Edward found out Emmett was my cousin. After Edward punched Emmett in the face and took off, Carlisle fixed up the cut on Emmett's face between trying to calm Esme down and getting a hold of Edward.

"Please Emmett," Carlisle said, taking his hand, "I told you then, please call us Carlisle and Esme."

"Yes Emmett," Esme said as she passed E.J. to Edward so she could greet Emmett, "We're practically family anyway, you being Bella's cousin and all. No need for formalities. Plus I feel old enough being a grandma."

Emmett laughed and kissed Esme on the cheek before wrapping his arm around Rosalie and bringing her into the circle.

"Well, this is my Rosalie. My beautiful wife, please meet Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

Rosalie smiled and took both of their hands, "It is a pleasure to meet the both of you. Thank you for having us."

We gathered the bags and split up between Esme and Carlisle's two black Mercedes. Edward drove one with E.J. and I, while Carlisle drove the other with Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie. The drive from Port Angeles to Forks hadn't changed and Edward was pointing things out here and there as we drove. E.J. pretty much had his face smashed up against the glass looking at the passing scenery. I guess there just wasn't that much green in New York City.

The "Welcome to Forks" sign looked exactly the same as it did the day I left and I was fighting a very difficult battle with my emotions right now. I could see Edward glancing at me from the corner of his eye and I knew he could tell what a hard time I was having being here. I knew he wouldn't bring it up in front of E.J. Over 6 years. It's been over 6 years since I've been in Forks. Thankfully the Cullens still lived in the same mansion that was on the outskirts of town and secluded in the woods. I didn't want to run into any of the small town people of Forks if I didn't have to.

The magnificent white house was just as I remembered and as we pulled into the garage I saw the silver Volvo that Edward told me Carlisle had bought for him after the surgery. E.J. hopped out of the car and started looking around at everything. The woods surrounded the house and E.J. ran out to the front lawn so he could get a better look at the house.

"It's so big!" He shouted as he ran further out into the yard.

"E.J. your jacket!" I called after him.

I was distracted by a pair of hands as they slipped around my waist. Edward nuzzled my neck before placing a kiss there.

"He'll be okay. I don't think he's ever seen so many trees," Edward chuckled. He released me with another kiss on my neck before going to run a hand over the Volvo.

"Miss your baby already?" I teased.

Edward snorted, "Hardly. The Volvo in New York is a newer model."

I shook my head and laughed. I saw that Emmett had joined E.J. out in the front lawn and let them be as I headed in with Edward and our bags. Everything was exactly the same as I remembered. The large glass windows that made up most of the walls of the living room made the area so open and light. I saw that Carlisle had updated his large television to a flat screen and what also looked to be a more sophisticated sound system.

"Bella, Edward, we set you up in Edward's old bedroom. We put E.J. in the guest room across from you guys. Emmett and Rosalie are in the guest room downstairs."

"Sounds good Mom," Edward said, "E.J.'s out playing with Emmett. Where's Rosalie?"

"Oh," Esme said, "I think she's freshening up in their room. Will she, Emmett, and E.J. be okay with chicken stir-fry for dinner?"

"That sounds wonderful Esme," I said as I saw Emmett and E.J. come in the door, "I've missed your stir-fry."

"Are we eating stir-fry Mommy?" E.J. asked as he came and wrapped an arm around Edward's leg.

"Yup, your Grandma Esme makes the best chicken stir-fry there is," I smiled as I rubbed E.J.'s head.

"Oh nonsense Bella," Esme laughed.

"Sounds good Esme," Emmett boomed, "Where's my Rosie run off to?"

"I believe she's in your room. Down the hall, first door on the right."

"Dinner will be at 6:30," Esme called as we all turned to take our bags to our rooms.

"Can I help you Grandma Esme?" E.J. asked, surprising both Edward and myself.

Esme looked as if she were going to cry again, but she simply said, "Sure E.J. Why don't you go get settled and come back down here with that drawing you made?"

"Okay!" E.J. shouted, tugging on Edward's hand, "Come on Daddy! I have to get Grandma and Grandpa's drawing from my bag!'

Edward laughed, "Okay okay! Bella, love, I'll see you upstairs?"

I nodded and watched as the loves of my life headed up the stairs to their rooms. I was still getting over the shock of being here again. Not only in Forks but also here in the Cullens' home. I couldn't imagine how overwhelming it must have been for Edward to see this all and take everything in the first time.

"You brought him back to life Bella."

I jumped when Esme put her arm around my shoulder.

"I…well…"

"I mean it Bella," she said, "Edward is a changed man. I've never seen him smile so much and he's never sounded more excited than when he was telling me about moving in with you and E.J. He's so alive Bella. You have no idea how happy I am that you are together again. Even you Bella. You look more alive than I've ever seen you. You both are glowing."

I immediately blushed and looked down at the floor. "Do you really think so?"

"Oh Bella, I know so. You two have always belonged together. I knew there was nothing on this earth that could keep the two of you apart."

"Thank you Esme," I whispered.

"For what dear?"

"For…"I paused, "For everything. For keeping Edward going all these years. For forgiving me for hurting him so badly. For forgiving me for hurting both you and Carlisle…"

"Bella," Esme turned me so I would look in her eyes, "You are our family. I've always thought of you as family. I'm just thankful you and Edward are together again, that we're all here celebrating Thanksgiving together. Bella, I love you. Carlisle and I both love you and we love E.J. Please don't worry yourself anymore. Enjoy your break from that metal and cement forest you call home."

I couldn't help but chuckle, as Esme and I hugged each other tightly before heading our separate ways. I was still in a daze as I headed up to Edward's room. It appeared that nothing had really changed in the past 6 years. When I walked into Edward's room, I was frozen. It looked exactly the same as it had the last time I was in here. The Fourth of July all those years ago…before the surgery. I felt the tears in my eyes. I was still having a hard time forgiving myself. I wished that I was braver, that I would've had the courage to stand up to Charlie, that I would've believed in the love between Edward and I.

I collapsed on the floor in the middle of his room. There were so many memories haunting me here. From when we were 11 years old up until we were 18. I didn't think being in Forks would hurt me so much. My crying only got worse when I felt the strong familiar arms of Edward pick me up without a word and lay us on his bed. He remained silent, stroking my back as he let me cry into his chest. When my tears finally stopped I looked up at Edward sheepishly. His face showed nothing but caring and understanding.

"Edward…" I whispered.

He softly stroked my cheek, "It's overwhelming right? Being here again. Seeing everything for the first time in years. The memories hit you pretty hard."

I simply nodded, realizing that he had gone through the same thing, only it was probably a million times more difficult for him. I shook my head and buried my face against his chest.

"How did you do it?" I whispered, "You're so much stronger than me. I could never have done it. I wouldn't have survived the memories…"

"I'm not going to say it wasn't hard," Edward whispered back, "but now I'm here again with you, and with E.J. We can build new memories for us here."

Edward tilted my head up and kissed me softly and hugged me tightly to his body. I knew he was right. I was really going to need him on this trip, that I knew. I didn't even want to think about taking care of Charlie's house on Saturday. I wouldn't know how I would react and thankfully Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were taking E.J. into Seattle for the day and night. I didn't want him to see me completely falling apart.

"How about we take a short nap?" Edward asked softly, "Just an hour or so before we freshen up for dinner."

"Where's E.J.?" I asked as I snuggled against his chest.

"He already headed down to help Esme. I think Emmett and Rosalie are taking a short nap too."

"Okay," I whispered, my eyes already drooping. My sleepless nights leading up to the trip were catching up to me and the comfort of Edward's arms and his bed were too irresistible. The last thing I felt was Edward's lips pressing to my forehead and his velvet voice whispering that he loved me.

_**EPOV**_

Bella was exhausted. She didn't move and didn't even sleep talk as she lay cuddled into my side. I knew she was nervous about coming back to Forks. She was being stubborn about it in the last few days and insisting that she was fine. I knew that this was going to be overwhelming for her. For whatever reason that was beyond me, she was still holding on to the guilt of how much she had hurt me, had hurt my family. I knew we had talked about it before, and she had said she wasn't feeling it anymore, but I could tell that she was. I was hoping that this trip might help her in some way.

Out little nap before dinner had revived her a bit, but she still looked worn out. I knew she would pass out right after dinner. As usual, my mother's stir-fry had been delicious and because Emmett was with us, we had no leftovers. We all talked about work briefly, seeing as we didn't want to bore E.J. to death, and E.J. told my parents all about Alice and Jasper.

"I hope we get to meet them at Christmas," My father said.

"You're coming to see us at Christmas?!" E.J. shouted.

Everyone chuckled and E.J. started making a list of everything he wanted to show my mother and father. It would be nice to spend a Christmas with people this year. Bella's body shifted and she rolled over away from me, mumbling my name for the first time tonight. I rolled over and spooned her, holding her tightly against my chest. I nuzzled her hair as she whispered my name again. Her sweet smell of strawberries and freesias surrounded me and I quickly followed her into the land of dreams.

When I awoke, without opening my eyes, I could already tell that Bella wasn't in the bed with me. I didn't feel her warmth that I had become so attuned to. I could smell coffee wafting through the house and I knew that she must've been up helping my mother with breakfast. Last night Bella had insisted on helping with breakfast and then helping with the Thanksgiving feast my mom had planned.

I furrowed my brows when I thought I heard shouting.

"Bella! Bella don't do this now! Think about it!" I heard Emmett yell.

"Let go of me Emmett!" She shouted.

"Bella please!" Rosalie pleaded.

I could hear feet coming running up the stairs and I heard a door slam as Emmett cursed loudly. I was out of bed like a rocket when I heard E.J.'s voice starting to scream "Daddy!" as he came running up the stairs.

I ran out into the hallway and met E.J. as he was about 10 feet away from the door. He had tears running down his face and I immediately scooped him up and hugged him to me.

"Daddy!" He wailed, as he held me tighter, "Mommy ran away!"

I felt my heart stop. She ran away? Was she running away from me? Running away from us? I saw Rosalie standing at the end of the hallway, biting her lip. She never looked nervous like that.

"What happened?" I asked.

E.J. wailed again and buried his face in my neck. Rosalie sighed as she picked at an invisible piece of lint on her sleeve.

"I think you guys should come downstairs. There's something that you need to see."

I whispered reassuring words to E.J. as I held him close and tried to calm him down. He was no doubt scared. He must've seen Bella and Emmett fighting. I just kept telling him that everything was going to be okay and that Mommy was coming back. When I got into the living room, I saw Emmett sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Rosalie had her arm around his shoulder as she whispered to him. I saw a crumple piece of paper on the table. My Dad was standing with his arm around my Mom, her hands up at her cheeks shaking her head with worry. I sat with E.J. in one of the armchairs and he whimpered softly.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"That happened," Emmett said, pointing to the crumple piece of paper on the table.

I took a deep breath and slowly reached for the paper. I couldn't help it, but there was a part of me that was deeply worried that it was a good-bye note from Bella. When I unfolded it, I recognized that it was addressed to Bella, but I didn't recognize the handwriting. When I looked at the bottom to see who it was from, my blood instantly boiled.

Son of a bitch. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why now, after all this time?

**Well? Yes? No? I wonder who the letter could possibly be from. Someone from their days in Forks is making a huge comeback in the next chapter. Anyone have any guesses?**

**Please let me know what you think. You love it, you hate it…doesn't matter! I want to hear what you think! Authors write better when they get feedback. Review if you can. Pretty please?**


	21. Chapter 20: So Small

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Ooh…sorry for the cliffy! I know ajenc sure wasn't happy with me! :-P (just kidding!) Trust me, the drama is necessary.**

**Emily, please tell me you didn't read the whole story in one sitting??? Damn girl! Thank you! :- ) I was re-reading to go over things I had already written and I didn't even make it three chapters before stopping! Thank you for your review. **

**Okay, onward. I wonder who the letter is from…**

_**Whatcha got if you ain't got love?**_

_**The kind that you just wanna give away**_

_**It's okay to open up**_

_**Go ahead and let the light shine through**_

_**I know it's hard on a rainy day**_

_**You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone**_

_**But don't run out on your faith**_

_**Cuz sometimes that mountain you've been climbing**_

_**Is just a grain of sand**_

_**What you've been out there searching for forever**_

_**Is in your hands**_

_**When you figure out love is all that matters after all**_

_**It sure makes everything else**_

_**Seem so small**_

_**-Carrie Underwood, "So Small"**_

Chapter 20: So Small

My blood was boiling as I read through the whole letter. After all these years, he had to come back into her life, just when we were getting things back together. I could feel myself losing my temper.

"I can't believe this!" I roared, crumpling the letter in my hands.

"Edward!" My father shouted.

The whimper of my son and his little arms squeezing my neck tighter, calmed me, though only marginally. He was already scared enough as it is, and I didn't want to add to it by letting my temper get the better of me. I apologized softly in his ear and ran my hands down his back. His whimpers were getting quieter and Esme came to our side and smoothed my hair back.

"I have to go find Bella," I whispered. E.J.'s arms tightened around my neck again.

"Daddy!" he wailed, "Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!"

My heart was breaking again. He thought I was going to leave him too, but I needed to find Bella. I know where she would be. She was going to see him, that bastard who left her the letter. I knew if I left now, I could catch up to her and calm her down.

"Son, I have to go get Mommy. I promise, we're coming back."

"Daddy…" E.J. whimpered.

"Son, I know you're scared," I whispered, "but I PROMISE you, your Mommy and I are coming back."

E.J. pulled back and looked at me, little tears falling down his cheeks. I reached up and wiped them away slowly.

"You promise Daddy?" He whispered.

"I promise. Swear it on my life."

"Okay…" he said softly. My mother offered to take him and led him into the kitchen for some breakfast. My father remained with Emmett and Rosalie.

"What's going on Edward? You know where Bella went?" My father asked.

"I know exactly where she went," I said as I shrugged on my coat.

"How?" My father asked again. I thrust the note into his hands. My father unfolded it and his eyes went wide as he read it.

"How did he…who left it in the mailbox?"

"I don't know," I growled as I snatched my mother's keys off the wall, noticing the keys to the Volvo were gone, "All I know is she's going to see him."

"Bring her back Edward," Emmett whispered,

I nodded and headed out to the car. How did anyone even know Bella and I were here? I drove quickly through the town to where I knew they would be. There were a few people out and about and I tried my best to ignore their stares and pointing. I sure didn't make a great impression on the town the last time I was here. The parking lot was empty other than the Volvo when I arrived and I quickly parked in the space next to it.

It was cold and there was a light drizzle as I ran to where I knew they would be. When I felt the hood of the Volvo, it was still hot so I knew that Bella had just arrived not long ago. The ground was slippery and I prayed she wouldn't have a clumsy moment. I had no doubt in my mind she was probably crying and was even more thankful that she had made it here without getting into an accident.

I paused by the large pine tree that was about 20 feet away. I didn't want to listen in on Bella, but I had to make sure that she was okay. She was standing in front of him breathing hard. I was thankful she had her coat on and her boots. I decided to stay back. As mad as I was when I read the letter and was driving over here, I realized Bella had to get things off her chest and this would be cathartic for her.

"How could you do this to me?!" She screamed and I was surprised when I saw her slam her fist down on the hard stone, "Why now?! Why Charlie?!"

She sunk down onto her knees and buried her face into her hands. I could hear her sobs and saw her shoulders shaking. I longed to run over there and comfort her, but I knew she had to do this. I would be here for her when she was done.

When she lifted her head again, I saw the tears pouring down her cheeks. She wiped her hand across her face before she started speaking again.

"How could you do this to Sue? How could you make her hang on to that letter?"

Bella shook her head as she looked down again.

"If you knew where I was all this time, where Edward was all this time, why didn't you say something? Why didn't you try to contact me sooner?"

Sue Clearwater. Of course she knew Bella and I were coming back to Forks. We were meeting her on Saturday to get the keys to Charlie's house. I remembered Charlie Swan was a proud man, it must've taken a lot to get him to ask Sue to do this for him. While a heart attack may have killed him, he was also dying of cancer. He had maybe a year left. It was what he wrote in the letter. I was surprised that he wrote down my address in the letter and was telling Bella to go find me. He also wrote that he was wrong. That he knew that Bella and I had always belonged together and that he should never have separated us. He apologized for thinking that I was a "freak" and for driving her away from me. He also told Bella that he loved her, that he loved her and he was sorry that he wasn't a stronger man.

"Do you know how much I was hurting Charlie?! I was miserable without Edward! You took away my heart Charlie! You took away my life! I understand you lost Mom, but you found Sue! You knew love, yet you still took me away from mine!"

Bella slammed her palm on the grass.

"Did you want me to hate you Charlie? Were you punishing yourself by not telling me you were dying? You didn't want to me to come back out of pity! I would've come back because you're my father! You're my Daddy! I never wanted to shut you out, but you took away my life! You lied to me about Edward! Then you keep the cancer from me?! Daddy, why?!"

I was debating with myself whether or not I should stop her now and scoop her up and take her home. I sent a text to my father and Rosalie to come and get the Volvo. I knew Emmett would be too emotional to be here right now. I remained in my spot as I watched Bella start sobbing again and leaned her head against his tombstone. Bella and I had talked only once about why she didn't come back for his funeral. She said that she was so upset that she hadn't taken the opportunity to try and make up with him. That she was ashamed because he died without knowing that she loved him still. That he would always be her father.

"Daddy…why? I can't forgive myself for never letting you know how much I loved you Daddy. That you were always my Daddy."

I watched as she leaned back and wiped her face again. It didn't escape my notice that she was referring to him as "Daddy" again and not "Charlie". She looked so broken and I was scared of what she would be like after this. Her voice was barely above a whisper now.

"I wanted to tell you Daddy. I love you and I have missed you every day since I last saw you. And I am so sorry that I never let you meet E.J. Daddy…I regret everything. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry wasn't braver. I think you should know though Daddy…I found Edward. We've been together again for the past two months or so. I don't think I've ever been happier. I love him so much Daddy. And E.J. is so happy. I've never seen him look happier in his life."

She sniffled, and stumbled as she tried to stand. She started sobbing again and I heard her whimper, "I love you Daddy…I'm so sorry…"

I took this as my cue to step in and jogged over to her side and scooped her up into my arms. She instantly wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against my chest. I just held her and rocked her silently in my arms as I walked back towards the car. I was relieved to see that my father and Rosalie had already picked up the Volvo. When I tried to set Bella down in the passenger seat, she whimpered and only tightened her hold on me. I sighed and opened up the doors to the back seat and sat with her on my lap.

We sat in the car for some immeasurable amount of time. I felt my phone vibrate on the seat with a text message. Bella was still sobbing uncontrollably in my arms. It was my father who sent the message. He said that E.J. was worried when they had returned with the Volvo but without Bella or myself. I quickly sent a message to my father saying that I had Bella and that we were fine and would be back soon. At least I hoped we would be. Bella was crying more than I had ever seen her cry before. I feared that she might not stop.

"Bella, love…" I whispered.

She squeezed my neck and shook her head. She wasn't ready yet. I couldn't tell her that E.J. was a mess and worried about whether or not Bella and I had run away from him. She needed the time away to take care of herself for once. I continued to simply stroke her back and place kisses on her head. It wasn't until Bella started to shiver that I pulled myself away from her.

"Bella, love, let me get you home. You're freezing," I whispered softly.

Bella was looking down at our laps as she played with her fingers. The tears had slowed but still fell down her cheeks. She remained silent as I stroked her cheek and wiped away her tears.

"Bella?"

"Take me home Edward…" she whispered.

She clung to me as I moved her to the front seat and I practically had to pry her arms off of me so that I could move to the driver's side seat. As I started driving back home, Bella reached across and took my right hand off of the steering wheel, and immediately laced her fingers through mine. I gave her a reassuring squeeze as we headed back through the town. Bella didn't lift her head once despite the people on the street that pointed and were no doubt whispering to each other. The town was small, and it was moments like these that I really hated the fact that everyone knew everyone else. Hopefully we could avoid being the town spectacle at least for today.

When I pulled the car into the garage, I saw the door connecting to the house fly open and E.J. come tearing into the garage. Bella quickly tumbled out of the car and wrapped E.J. up in his arms.

"MOMMY!" he wailed as Bella stood and held him tight to her.

"I'm sorry baby," she whispered, "I'm here. I'm sorry."

My father was standing in the doorway as I walked around the car and embraced my family. E.J. worked his way from Bella's arms into mine and Bella wrapped her arms around my waist. E.J. pulled away from my neck and sniffled.

"You scared me Mommy. I thought you weren't coming back."

Tears started to fall down Bella's cheeks again as she kissed E.J.'s face and hugged both he and I tighter.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm never leaving you or Daddy. I was just very upset by something your Grandpa Charlie left me."

"Grandpa Charlie?" E.J.'s little brows furrowed in confusion.

"He wrote Mommy a letter before he passed away. It made Mommy upset, but she's better now."

I looked at Bella and thankfully she was smiling at me and not upset that I took over and explained for her. I knew she was still feeling a bit overwhelmed from everything still and I just wanted to get her inside and get her relaxed before dinner.

"Mommy, are you better now?" E.J. asked softly.

"Yes baby. I feel much better now."

E.J. frowned, "Mommy, you're all cold."

I nodded, "Yes, let's get your Mommy inside and warmed up."

My father had disappeared from the doorway and I quickly escorted my family back into the warmth of the house. My mother and Rosalie must've been cooking up a storm in the kitchen because it smelled absolutely wonderful. My father and Emmett were sitting in front of the TV. Emmett looked much more relaxed than when I had left. He immediately stood up.

"Is everything okay?" Emmett asked. My father was looking at us expectantly and I saw my mother and Rosalie standing in the door of the kitchen. Bella blushed a deep red.

"Yes…I…I'm sorry I over reacted this morning."

"Nonsense Bella," said my mother coming forward and embracing Bella in a hug, "the letter had to be very overwhelming. Come now, E.J. why don't you finish helping your Aunty Rosie with the dough for the rolls, and let Mommy and Daddy warm up."

"Okay," E.J. said before he kissed both Bella and I on the cheeks. I set him down and he skipped back to the kitchen with my mother. Bella smiled at Emmett and my father and apologized again before I wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her back up to my room and the connecting bathroom.

Bella remained frozen sitting on my bed. She didn't even both to take off her jacket or boots. I quickly starting a hot bath and pulled out two large fluffy towels. As the water filled the tub, I started taking off Bella's shoes and socks. She complied with my movements, but still hadn't said much. We both padded into the bathroom barefoot and I shut off the water and locked the door. I knew my parents would make sure we got our time alone now, but I didn't want to take any chances. I had to help her undress and there was nothing sexual about this bath. Too often was Bella taking care of others and not enough of herself. I was more than ready to take care of my Bella.

The water burned my skin in all the right ways as I stepped in with Bella and we slowly lowered ourselves into the water. Bella lay her back against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her, running my hands up and down her arms and legs to warm her up quicker. Bella let out a deep sigh and pressed her forehead against my neck.

"This feels wonderful Edward," Bella whispered, "Thank you."

"You're more than welcome love."

I must've set the water to a scalding heat because we sat in silence for minutes and the water was still heating me to the bone. My hands now rested on Bella's flat stomach and she had moved her hands to rest on the tops of my forearms. We simply relaxed in each other's presence. I wanted to make sure that Bella was okay though, and I knew that today had been crazy.

"Do you want to talk about it love?" I asked as I moved to grab her shampoo. She nodded silently as I squeezed a small amount of the strawberry concoction into my palm. I gently massaged the gel into her hair and she hummed in contentment.

"I read the letter Bella…"

"I'm sorry I just ran Edward. I was so upset. I knew this trip was going to be overwhelming but I wasn't prepared for this. I didn't think he would make Sue hold on to that letter. I know the things like your address and what not matter very little now, but I was just so upset that he knew, that he's known for years. And then he mentions the cancer and says how he doesn't want me to come back out of pity?! I would've come back because he was my father and I love him!"

Bella was getting worked up again and I massaged her scalp with my fingernails and ran my fingers through her hair to calm her down. I knew she loved it when I stroked her hair. She sighed and her breathing calmed before she continued.

"I…I guess what really just got to me was that at the end he wrote how much he loved me, that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he'll always love me. I guess it just set me off because _I_ never got to tell him how much I loved him before he died, and now he'll never know."

Growing up, I wasn't so sure about my beliefs in what happened to us after we died. I still wasn't sure now, but I wanted to believe, especially for Bella, that a heaven did exist and that Charlie was once again reunited with Renee. I had to believe for myself, that there was more after life.

"He knows Bella," I stated firmly, "He heard you, he knows. He's with your Mom again and together they'll always be watching over you and always be loving you until you're all together again."

"You really believe that Edward?" she asked softly.

"I do Bella," I answered as I shifted so that I could look in her eyes, "I have no doubt in my mind they were watching over you today and kept you safe on the roads and the iced over grass."

Bella pressed her forehead against mine, "You're too good to me Edward."

"Nonsense love," I said as I leaned back and kissed her head, "I'll never be good enough, but I'll work every day at becoming perfect."

"I love you Edward."

"I love you my Bella."

I let the water drain before I finished conditioning Bella's hair and then washed her body. I was proud of myself for not "fully" reacting to her naked body. I didn't want there to be anything sexual about this and I just wanted to care for her and comfort her in any way I could. Wrapping a big fluffy towel around her, I kissed her softly on the lips before toweling myself off.

"OH!" Bella cried as she was drying her hair. I was amazed I heard her over the noise of the hairdryer.

"What is it love?" I asked, only throwing on a pair of boxers and basketball shorts. I had to help E.J. with his bath before dinner.

"I have to help Esme with the dessert and what not. Are you going to bathe E.J.?"

I walked over to where she was sitting and kissed her mostly dry hair. "Yes love, and don't worry about helping my mother. She'll understand if you don't feel up to it."

"No Edward," Bella replied with a pout, standing and dropping her towel. Now my body was reacting. When Bella stuck out her bottom lip in her pout, I wanted nothing more than to suck that bottom lip between my own teeth.

"I feel much better, and it'll clear my mind to help prepare something," I saw Bella smirk when she glanced at me, before she bent over her bag to grab her clothes. That smirk was the tell tale sign that my Bella was back and she was tormenting me purposefully. I couldn't help myself and I suddenly was behind her and pulling her against my body as she stood. She let out a squeak as I pressed into her, letting her know what she was doing to me.

"Why do you tease me so?" I growled in her ear, my hands firmly gripping her hips.

Bella pushed away from my body and turned, placing a kiss on my bare chest over where my heart was pounding away.

"You're one to talk mister," she whispered, as her fingers traced along the lines of my abs. I growled softly at her.

"Calm yourself down, and maybe I'll give you a treat later," she purred.

"You're going to be the death of me woman."

Bella giggled softly before kissing my lips firmly, "Mmmm…but what a way to go…"

And with that she ran off into the bathroom and locked the door. I groaned and flopped back on the bed thinking of the most disgusting, least arousing images that I could. Just as I my little problem was going away, the door to the bathroom opened and I groaned loudly. It was going to be a very long night. Bella was in a strapless green dress, the tint of green matching the forest outside the house. There was a black lace overlay and in her hands she held a black sweater.

"Does it look bad?" She asked as she smoothed her hands over the material.

"Hardly!" I snorted, "You're making it extremely difficult to calm my body down."

Bella turned a deep crimson and bit her bottom lip, "I'm glad the dress is doing its job then."

"You women are wicked creatures," I muttered as she came and leaned over my body.

"Mmmm…but you love us all the same," She placed a kiss on my lips before standing straight and heading towards the door, "I'm going to give you five more minutes and then I'm sending our son up here."

I could hear her laughter trailing down the hallway as she left. I had missed her laugh the most over all the years that we had been apart and I smiled at the memories I had of listening to her laugh in the mornings with my mother after she had spent the night or hearing her laugh while watching TV with my father. True to her word, five minutes after she had disappeared, our son came tearing into the room and he tackled me on the bed.

After a brief tickle war/wrestling match, I helped E.J. with his bath and got him dressed in his nice black pants and an embroidered polo shirt Alice had made for him. It was navy blue and the silver embroidery was a picture of a lion from the renaissance period and three clovers below it, like a family crest. I took a quick shower of my own before changing into the black slacks and long sleeve navy blue button down I had packed for myself. E.J. was always terribly amused when he and I matched.

When I entered the main area of the house my mouth was salivating. I knew we probably still had maybe an hour or two before we ate, but I was drooling. Last Thanksgiving, I was holed up alone in my apartment before Alice and Jasper came banging on my door with Chinese take-out from our favorite place. I was a little sad that they weren't here, but I was also incredibly thankful for the two of them. If it wasn't for Alice and Jasper, I don't know that I would've survived this long. I would be a shell of a man, lonely and broken. I shook those thoughts from my head as I walked past the couch and my father. He and Emmett were watching ESPN and they were talking about all the football action that had happened today.

I could hear E.J.'s delighted laugh as I made my way into the kitchen. He was standing on the little steps my mother used to grab things that, for whatever reason unknown to me, she placed up high in the cabinets and couldn't reach.

"Smells good in here," I commented as I went to Bella's side and kissed her temple. She was busy preparing E.J.'s favorite pecan bars and had undoubtedly already finished the pumpkin pie.

"I'm smashing potatoes Daddy!" E.J. exclaimed as he waved around the masher.

"E.J.!" Rosalie squealed, as a glob on potato landed on her cheek.

"Sorry Aunty Rosie," E.J. immediately said.

"It's okay," Rosalie laughed as she wiped the glob off with her finger, "It's my turn for a shower anyway. Thanks for the potato facial kid."

"What's a facial?" E.J. asked as I moved to help him and supervise.

"Ask Miss Alice," Bella mumbled.

"Okay!" E.J. shouted, "As soon as I get back home!"

I laughed to myself. I couldn't decide who I thought E.J. had more of a little crush on, Alice or Nessie. He certainly loved being around both.

I continued to help E.J. with the mashed potatoes as my mother and Bella flew around us preparing our feast. My stomach was growling loudly and if my mother didn't announce soon that we were ready to eat, I was contemplating swiping a good spoonful of these potatoes E.J. and I just finished.

"Carlisle, honey," my Mom called, "Can you grab the wine? Then we'll be ready to eat."

I heard my father comply and took the mashed potatoes out to the table. My mother had really outdone herself this time with her table. Leaves in orange and red, little pumpkins, and various candles dotted the table. The little handprint turkey E.J. had made for my parents in Jasper's class also decorated the table. My father poured each of the adults a generous helping of red wine and E.J. his milk before we all took our seats at the table. My mother and father sat at the heads of the table while Emmett and Rosalie sat across from Bella and I. E.J. sat between the two of us.

My father said a prayer that blessed the food and each of us. He gave thanks for the additions of Bella, E.J., Emmett and Rosalie to the Cullen family, and also for the time we have been provided to spend with each other. I silently gave thanks for the light coming back to my life. That I had found my reason for being truly alive and not living the sort of half existence I had been leading the last 6 years. I gave thanks that my son, E.J., was born strong and healthy and that he was so smart and such a well-behaved boy. More than anything, I just repeatedly thanked the lord or whoever watches over us, that Bella was with me again.

When my father was finished, Rosalie cleared her throat. "That was beautiful Carlisle. If you don't mind, Emmett and I would like to add something."

"Please Rosalie, by all means," my father smiled.

"Well," Rosalie cleared her throat again. I had never seen her nervous like this, "Emmett and I really wanted to thank you for welcoming us to your family. You know Emmett's family situation, and I am in the same boat. We both feel so welcomed here in your house and we wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making us feel like family."

"Rosalie, Emmett," my mother sniffled softly, "Bella is family and you're her family. That instantly makes you a part of ours. Carlisle, Edward, and I all welcome you both."

"What about me?" E.J. asked

I ruffled his hair and chuckled, "You're definitely part of this family."

"Okay good," E.J. smiled, bouncing in his seat.

"We have one more thing to add as well," Rosalie said, "And don't worry, I told Alice and Jasper before we left, so don't worry that Alice will have a fit that she wasn't here for this."

We all watched silently as Rosalie glanced at Emmett and he flashed her his dimpled grin.

"There's going to be another addition to the family."

My father, mother, and Bella all gasped and I saw a tear spill down Rosalie's cheek.

"When?" Bella asked.

"I'm due sometime in May," Rosalie smiled, placing a hand on her stomach.

It finally clicked in my head, "You guys are going to have a baby?"

Emmett laughed, "Crazy huh? I'm going to be a daddy!"

My mind was swirling. Emmett and Rosalie were going to have a baby. They were going to be parents. While I already had E.J., I felt myself being a little…jealous.

"That's uh…that's great you guys!" I saw Bella glance in my direction and I knew she was the only one who could tell that there was something off about how genuine that statement I just made was. Rosalie and Emmett smiled brightly and went on to talk a little more about the pregnancy. I also felt a little guilty because they explained how they had put off telling anyone until they were sure Bella and I were back together. They weren't sure how the news was going to affect either one of us if we were still separated. I smiled and convinced them I was genuinely happy for them. I saw Bella glancing at me and I knew she could see right through me. It felt so wrong of me to be sitting here on Thanksgiving, the day we're supposed to give thanks for what we have in our lives, and have so much to be thankful for in my life, but still be jealous of Emmett and Rosalie.

Over dinner we discussed our plans for Friday and Saturday. Tomorrow, my mother and father were going to take Emmett and Rosalie to Port Angeles for the day. Bella and I were going to take E.J. around to see some of Forks and La Push before meeting the rest of the gang in Port Angeles. Saturday, my mother, father, Emmett, and Rosalie were going to take E.J. to Seattle for the day and night so that Bella and I could take care of her father's affairs. We stayed up late into the night, talking about the past and telling stories. E.J. got a surprise when my father told him they were going to take a tour of the Mariners' stadium on Saturday. We were all stuffed and ready to give in to our turkey comas for the night. E.J. had passed out not long after my father announced his surprise and Bella and I bid the others good night as I carried him upstairs and we tucked him in. I was not looking forward to explaining myself once Bella and I were alone.

Bella had remained silent as we entered my old room and we both began our bedtime rituals. Her silence completely unnerved me. Was she mad at me? It really seemed like it. I really didn't want to have this talk after the morning that she had, but I knew she wouldn't just let it sit for long. If there was anything that Bella never hesitated on when we were in high school, it was calling me on my bullshit. While there hadn't been many reasons to be doing that since we've been together again, I knew she wouldn't let this go without making me come clean.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, she had on a white tank top and long blue silk pajama pants. I couldn't help it, but my body was reacting to the way that her body was reacting to the cold. I gripped my hair tightly as I passed her and went into the bathroom. Like she would really be in the mood for any of _that_ kind of alone time tonight. As I brushed my teeth, it was driving me crazy not knowing what Bella was thinking. She knew me so well, so I already knew that she could tell that I had been jealous tonight. What I was desperate to know, was what she thought of my jealousy.

I took slow steps as I came back into my room in my pajama pants and t-shirt. There was no desire in me to have this conversation despite the fact that not knowing what Bella was thinking was making me crazy. Did I even know what _I_ was thinking?! I was jealous…that much I could identify. Was it because I had dreamed of being a father and missed out on being there for E.J. and Bella? It had to be. I had missed seeing Bella's belly swollen with our son. I had missed her weird cravings (so I'm told), missed hearing the first cries of our son, his first smile, his first word, his first step…I had missed everything…and Emmett had been there for it all. That's what it boiled down to. Emmett had already gotten to experience this once with Bella and E.J. and now he was going to get to do it again.

Finally glancing towards the bed where I had expected Bella to be, I was surprised when she wasn't. My gaze quickly flew around the room and found her. She was sitting on my black leather sofa. Oh lord, that meant she meant business. All of the big major talks we had growing up had been in my room and always on the black leather sofa. In 5th grade when I first asked why she was friends with a freak like me. When we were 13 years old and I asked to her to be my girlfriend. When I told her I loved her for the first time. Where we discussed me having the surgery. And quite possibly the one that changed life as we knew it, where we fully discussed having sex, since she sprung that originally on me at the beach in La Push.

I swallowed heavily and ran my hand through my hair a few times as I sat down next to her. She had her feet curled up underneath her body and her hands were playing with the end of the black open hoodie she had added while I was in the bathroom. When I leaned my head back against the sofa, she finally spoke.

"Are you not happy for Rosalie and Emmett?"

My head shot up, "Of course I'm happy for them!"

"Then explain to me why you sure didn't seem that way at dinner! You can fool everyone else Edward, but you can't fool me," She looked me straight in the eyes, not backing down, waiting for an answer.

I leaned forward and pinched the bridge of my nose. She wanted me to admit to the jealousy.

"Don't hide from me Edward."

I sighed heavily, "I was jealous okay."

We sat in a long silence after that. Bella didn't move or say a word and my head remained in my hands. Right about when I wasn't going to be able to take not knowing what she was thinking anymore, she started talking.

"You were jealous?"

I simply nodded.

"About what Edward? That they're having a baby?"

"Yes," I whispered.

I saw Bella move from the corner of my eyes and I finally lifted my head to look at her. She had brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on top. She was biting her bottom lip and looking down. I couldn't believe how young she looked in this moment.

"Bella?" I waited until she looked up at me before I continued, "Will you let me explain? I am jealous, but not quite in the way that you think."

She nodded and continued to gnaw away on her bottom lip. I moved my hand up and let my thumb slowly pull it from between her teeth. I cupped her cheek, letting my thumb brush along her soft skin before I lowered my hand.

"I feel terrible for feeling jealous, especially today of all days. I'm supposed to be thankful for what I have in my life not be jealous of what my friends have, and I am thankful for what I have, beyond thankful! I just couldn't help it though. Emmett got to be with you the whole time you were pregnant with E.J. He experienced everything that I missed out on. The first cries, the first words, the first steps…everything. And now he'll get to do it again."

I stood up and walked to stand at the French doors that led to the balcony. I pressed my palms and forehead against the glass. This was a crappy topic to have to discuss with Bella, especially after this morning, but I knew she wouldn't let it go and we had agreed to be honest with each other always, no matter how brutal. The muscles in my body tensed when I felt Bella's presence behind me. They didn't relax when she wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek against my back. She still hadn't said anything.

"Do you want to have another child together?" Bella finally whispered.

I sighed and closed my eyes, "I'd be lying if I said 'no'."

Bella didn't say anything in response as I felt her move around me and squeeze herself into the tiny space between my body and the window. I pushed back a little so I wasn't squishing her, but she wrapped her arms around my waist pulling me tight to her. Her lips brushed against the base of my throat and I shuddered.

"I'd be lying if I said 'no' too," she whispered against my neck. I pulled back and finally looked down at her face. She smiled and raised a hand to trace my lips softly with a finger. "Not yet though Edward. We're not ready for a baby. Not yet."

I nodded and rested my forehead against hers, "I know love. I'm sorry…I just…I just couldn't help what I felt. I am happy for Emmett and Rosalie though. Honestly."

Bella moved her arms up to around my neck and hugged me tightly. "One day it'll be us Edward."

I nodded and lifted her so I could bury my face against her neck. Her legs wrapped around my waist and we held each other tightly. I walked us back towards the bed and gently laid her down. We lay on our sides and Bella stroked my jaw softly before placing a kiss on my lips.

"I love you Bella," I whispered as her lips lingered over mine. She pulled back to look in my eyes and smiled as she raked her hand through my hair. I could tell from her face that sleep was going to overtake her very soon. I rolled onto my back and Bella immediately followed, burrowing herself into her place at my side.

"I love you Edward," she said softly as she nuzzled her face against my chest.

I stayed awake as Bella slipped away to the land of dreams. I ran my hand softly through her strands of hair on the sheets and simply watched the rise and fall of her back. It had certainly been a strange Thanksgiving. With everything that happened this morning with Charlie's letter and my reaction to Emmett & Rosalie's news, my poor Bella had been through a rough day. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering my apologies for causing her to worry. I had to believe that she was right, that one day it would be us letting our friends and family know that we were expecting an addition to our family. I was surprised E.J. hadn't said anything. I'm thinking he just didn't understand what was going on.

Bella mumbled something unintelligible and rolled onto her back. While her hand that was now resting on her right breast initially caught my attention, I saw that her shirt had ridden up and revealed her smooth flat stomach to me. I let my fingertips ghost along the flesh of her stomach, imagining the day when my child would be growing inside her once more. She would be even more beautiful and glowing like in the pictures she had shown me. I traced her cheek lightly with my knuckles and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Edward…" she mumbled, rolling back towards me. She found her place and snuggled deep into my side, a small smile on her lips. I wrapped my arms around her and let my eyes close. She was right…one day, but for now, I was more than thankful for holding her here in my arms and for our son sleeping in the room across the hall. The thoughts of who and what we might encounter tomorrow didn't even cross my mind.

**Well? Yes? No? I felt like Bella needed to "resolve" her Charlie issues. I'm thinking no one really guessed it was him who wrote the letter? If you did, good job! And yes…the last sentence is hinting at the next chapter.**

**Hmmmm…should Emmett and Rosalie have a boy or a girl? It's a far ways off still, but I'm pondering it now. And what do you think about Bella & Edward's talk? **

**Well, thank you for reading. Let me know what you think (good or bad) if you can! Pretty please? Have a good weekend! **


	22. Chapter 21: Brown Eyed Girl

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I am really happy that you guys are still enjoying this. I know it might seem directionless right now, but I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve. :-P**

**Oh, and I wrote another shorter story (during my slight writer's block) and posted it. Edward is a baseball playing Seattle Mariner. :-P Check it out if you can. It's not baseball heavy, so no worries if that's a concern. It's called "Whatever It Takes". **

**And the song…well, I chose it mostly because Bella is Edward's brown-eyed girl. No one get excited, there's no "making love in the green grass" in this chapter. Not yet anyway. :-P**

_**Cast my memory back there, lord,**_

_**Sometimes I'm overcome thinking about**_

_**Making love in the green grass**_

_**Behind the stadium**_

_**With you, my brown-eyed girl,**_

_**You, my brown-eyed girl.**_

_**-Van Morrison, "Brown Eyed Girl**_

Chapter 21: Brown Eyed Girl

I awoke when I heard Bella whimpering in her sleep. It was still pitch black outside. Her hands were fisted tightly into my shirt and her body was wrapped around mine tightly. Her words were unintelligible and her head began to shake back and forth. She was having a nightmare and I was debating about whether or not I should wake her up when she started screaming.

"DADDY! DADDY! NO!"

She scared me so badly that it took me a few seconds to come to my senses. Bella started the thrash her body around and continued screaming for her father. I struggled to hold her and wake her up, yelling her name repeatedly. My father, mother, and Rosalie, carrying a crying E.J. came running into my room. My mother was immediately at my side trying to help me rouse Bella as I saw Rosalie holding E.J. tightly trying to calm him down with my father.

With one final scream for her father, I saw Bella's eyes pop open, her stare blank and frantic.

"Bella!" I cried, holding her tightly as her arms continued to flail against my chest. I saw a look of recognition pass over Bella's face as she let her arms fall to her sides. My mother immediately picked up one of Bella's hands and held it tightly.

"E-E-Edward," Bella began to sob, "I-I-I n-need Es-Es-Esme…"

I was a little surprised but gave up my spot to my mother. Bella knew that I would do anything that she asked of me. She lay back into the pillows and began to sob. My mother patted my cheek softly.

"It's okay," she whispered, "I'll take care of her Edward. Go tend to E.J."

I nodded and stood, immediately holding out my arms for E.J. He quickly climbed from Rosalie's arms into my own and clung on tightly. We remained silent as my father led us back downstairs to the living room. As we all took our seats, E.J. whimpered and buried his face against my neck. I held him tightly. I was still learning that fine balancing act of worrying about my love Bella and our son. I wanted nothing more than to be comforting Bella and making sure she was okay, but I also wanted to make sure E.J. was okay. When I glanced at the clock over the fireplace, it said it was just after 2:00am. My father ran a hand through his disheveled hair and Rosalie sighed.

"How did you guys wake up?" I asked softly.

"I was up going to the bathroom," Rosalie started, "I heard Bella start to scream and I immediately headed for the stairs. When I did E.J. was already in the living room screaming for Carlisle."

I looked at my father who sighed heavily, "Your mother and I both woke when we heard Bella too. Old habit from uh…before."

I knew exactly what "before" meant. My father was talking about my first bout of "dark times" after Bella had disappeared. I had new kinds of nightmares where I was able to see things. I was often woken up by my parents, most of the time making things worse because I wasn't used to being able to see when I woke. I simply nodded at my father in understanding.

"I bolted out of the door when I heard E.J. start to scream for me."

E.J. sniffled and pushed himself back, rubbing his eyes. I knew he was hard to wake up, so Bella must've been screaming even louder than I thought. It was deafening when I was right next to her.

"I…I thought something bad happened to you," E.J. sniffled, "Mommy was screaming for you Daddy so I thought you were hurt. I remembered you said Grandpa Carlisle is a doctor and helps people so I went to find him but…but…I didn't know where his room was!"

E.J. started to bawl his eyes out again and he pressed his face into my chest. I hugged E.J. tightly to me, whispering in his ear that I was safe and so was Bella. I told him repeatedly that everything was okay. It was apparent that E.J. was still scared that I was going to disappear from his life or something happening to me was a big fear of his. I didn't need to explain to Carlisle and Rosalie that Bella was having a nightmare, but I knew E.J. needed to know.

"It's okay son. Mommy was just having a nightmare."

"Like me?" E.J. whimpered against my neck.

"Mmhm…like all of us," I whispered back, "we all have nightmares."

"So Mommy was having a nightmare about someone hurting you?"

"No," I answered softly, "She was having a nightmare about her Daddy."

"Just like the nightmares I have?"

My heart clenched as I answered him back softly. They were rare in occurrence now, but I did remember E.J. having a few nightmares about me being hurt or taken away from him. I didn't notice that my father and Rosalie had left the room and returned with four glasses of water. E.J. didn't take his and continued to cling to me as I rocked him back and forth. My father paced near the fireplace and sipped at his water. Something donned on me then.

"Where is Emmett?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "You know nothing can wake the bear once he hibernates Edward. It would take a bomb exploding next to the bed."

The pressure in the room seemed to deflate a little when he we all heard E.J.'s quiet giggle at Rosalie's explanation of where Emmett was. My father knelt next to me and offered E.J. a glass of water quietly. All heads whipped towards the stairs when we heard the soft voice of my mother call my name.

"Edward," My mother said softly as she stepped into the living room, "Bella is asking for you."

I nodded, but stood hesitantly with E.J. in my arms, unsure of what I should do about him. My mother though, bless her, knew what to do.

"E.J., how about you and I get some warm milk and cookies? Does that sound good before we head back to bed?"

E.J. nodded and he willingly climbed into my mother's arms. My father and Rosalie both gave me reassuring looks before they followed my mother into the kitchen. I heard Rosalie joke when my mother asked if she was hungry. Rosalie replied that she was pregnant so of course she was hungry. I smiled at the slightly lighter feeling in the air as I made my way back to my room.

Everything was eerily quiet as I walked down the hallway to my room. I couldn't hear Bella making any noise as I opened my door and shut it quietly. She was standing at the doors that led out to the balcony and looking out at the forest.

"Bella?" I whispered.

She didn't turn to look at me, but in her reflection in the window I could tell that she still had tears running down her cheeks. Her arms were wrapped around her body in a protective way and I noticed she added her robe over her pajamas.

"It was horrible Edward. I…I…I'm sorry I asked for Esme and not you…"

Tears starting flowing down her cheeks and I had her swept up in my arms in a second.

"Bella, love, it's okay. It's okay."

Bella sobbed and buried her head against my chest. I slowly led her over to the black couch and pulled her up on my lap, cradling her to my body. I rocked her slowly as I began to speak.

"Love, if you needed my mother and not me, that's fine. I just want you to be okay."

I knew my mother was very much a motherly figure to Bella when we were growing up. The fact that Bella never got a chance to really know hers had affected her more than she ever wanted to admit.

"The…the dream…it was horrible…" Bella whispered, "I…you know Esme has always been like a mother to me. I…I just needed that…that comfort only a parent can give."

"It's okay love. As long as you feel better."

"Edward, I don't want you to think I was trying to push you away or anything," Bella said as she pulled back to look at me.

I brought my hand up to stroke her cheek softly, "Love, don't worry about me. I only care that you're okay."

Bella closed her eyes, "The dream…it…it was just so horrible and there were parts that felt so real."

I placed a kiss on her forehead before asking quietly, "Do you want to talk about it love?"

She nodded slowly before she started talking.

"We were in my father's house. We were all there…you, me, and E.J. Then my father started saying that he loved me…that he always loved me, but then he grabbed E.J. and started dragging him away. He said he loved me but E.J. was the reason that he never got to tell me he loved me before he died. That having E.J. took me away from him. I was screaming for him to stop as he dragged E.J. out of the backdoor. In my dream you just sat there, you didn't move at all. My father started running, dragging E.J. behind him as he ran through the woods. E.J. was screaming and I kept running but I couldn't keep up. I was screaming for my Dad to stop, but he wouldn't listen and I was loosing sight of them. That was when I woke up."

I was slow to nod. I knew if I had a dream like that, I probably would've been just as distraught. Dreaming and seeing in my dreams, even after 6 years, still hit me hard…especially when I had nightmares. Bella rested her forehead against my neck and sighed heavily, a hand coming up to swipe away her tears. I could see where the nightmare was stemming from. The letter hit Bella way more than she cared to admit. We actually hadn't really talked about it.

I started off unsure of her reaction, "Bella, love, do you…do you want to talk about…about Charlie's letter?"

"I'm still trying to process it Edward. I just…it was just so hard to read, especially when he knew for so long that we were both in New York City. I know my father was a proud man, but…but it just seemed so unfair that he got to tell me he loved me when I never got the chance to tell him."

I nodded and rubbed her back, running my hand up and down her spine.

"Then with everything with Rosalie and Emmett…I just never got a chance to process everything. I guess it all just came out in my subconscious. I…I never realized how much I missed him Edward. I never realized how much I missed my Daddy. It just made me realize even more how much time I had missed out on with everyone. How much time I missed out on with him, how much time I missed out on with you, how much time you and E.J. missed out on with each other…it just all hit me when I read the letter and it made me so mad. I was mad that I wasn't brave enough to come see him and I was mad that he was too proud to come see me. And I still don't understand why Sue held on to it all this time!"

Bella was breathing hard and getting worked up again. I let my hand press harder into her back and relax her muscles. She sighed heavily and leaned in to kiss my neck.

"Is E.J. okay? I saw Rosalie holding him."

"He's okay. He heard you and thought something happened to me. He thought "Daddy" was me. He actually went to find my father because he thought I was hurt."

"Oh! Are you sure he's okay? Should I go check on him?"

"He's okay love. I calmed him down, explained about the nightmares, and my mother got him some warm milk and cookies."

"Will they be okay putting him down? Maybe I should go check on him?"

I stood with Bella in my arms and she squealed.

"Edward! Put me down!"

"Mmmm…" I hummed as I walked towards the door, "I'd rather have you in my arms."

As we walked across the hallway I saw the door cracked open and the light was on. When we entered I saw my mother and father both sitting with E.J. as he started to doze. He immediately came to life when he saw Bella and I in the doorway.

"MOMMY! Are you okay?"

I put Bella down and she was at his side in an instant.

"Mommy's okay baby," She said as she ran a hand through his crazy stands.

"Can I sleep with you and Daddy tonight?" He asked softly.

My mother and father smiled at his request. I had apparently done the same thing when I had nightmares when I was growing up. They bid us good night as I carried E.J. back to my room with Bella's arm wrapped around my waist. I set E.J. down as he moved to the middle and snuggled in against the pillows.

"You have a comfy bed," E.J. yawned as I saw his eyes start to droop.

I helped Bella with her robe and I kissed her cheek softly before I whispered, "Are you sure you're okay?"

She shook her head, as we both looked at the bed. E.J. was already beginning to snore softly. It was after 3 in the morning now.

"No Edward, I'm not okay…but I will be. I just…I just need a little more time to process things."

I wrapped my hands around her waist and kissed her neck before I moved us to her side of the bed.

"Okay love," I whispered. I helped Bella under the covers before I went to my side. She and E.J. definitely shared DNA because as soon as I was under the covers, E.J. moved to snuggle into my side. Bella stifled her laugh as she followed suit and snuggled in behind E.J. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and then lips before whispering good night. I hoped that the unity of our family would keep all nightmares at bay.

I stayed awake over an hour after Bella fell asleep. I was watching her intently making sure the nightmares didn't return. She seemed so exhausted and she didn't even sleep talk before I succumbed to a dreamless sleep. I woke when I felt E.J. squirming around.

"What's up buddy?" I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep.

"Mommy's squishing me."

I looked and Bella was no longer clutching on to my shirt, but had E.J. wrapped up tightly in her arms. Even in her sleep, she was so scared of losing E.J. I smiled as I leaned over and started to kiss Bella's face. E.J. started to giggle as I kissed Bella softly all over her face. I heard her hum and start to squirm.

"Eww! No kissing in front of me! That's yucky Daddy!"

I chuckled and heard Bella's gorgeous laugh. We had all come to the agreement that there would be no "kissy faces" in front of E.J. He was at that stage where it was yucky. It made me laugh that his best friend was a girl. I planted a big kiss on Bella's lips and E.J. squealed as he pushed against my chest.

"YUCKY DADDY!"

I laughed and finally pulled away, Bella's hold on E.J. was gone and he took the freedom to move and tackled me, knocking me on my back.

"You and Mommy promised! No kissy faces in front of me!"

His little face was all scrunched up in a pout and his hair was everywhere. I let out a weird gust of breath and noise as Bella climbed on top of E.J. and my chest, making E.J. squeal again and she laughed.

"Okay baby, your Daddy and I promise. Go get ready for today?"

"I can't move Mommy!" E.J. laughed as he tried to squirm.

Bella let out her gorgeous laugh and she sounded like herself again. I knew she had said she needed more time, but I was encouraged that she at least sounded better. Bella kissed E.J.'s head as she rolled off and he clambered off the bed before running to his room. The empty space on my chest was quickly occupied by my Bella.

"How are you feeling love?" I asked softly as I began to run my fingers through her hair.

"A little better. Definitely more rested," She sighed.

I nodded and pressed a kiss into her hair. "Where did you want to start off today?"

I glanced at the clock and noticed it was a lot later than we had planned on heading out. It was just after 11 now. We all did have a late night though. I could smell coffee in the air so I knew that my parents were now up and most likely Rosalie and Emmett.

"Maybe we could go eat lunch at the diner before we show E.J. the school and then head down to La Push? We're meeting in Port Angeles around 6 right?"

I nodded and slowly sat up with Bella in my lap. I brought my hands up to cup her cheeks, "You're sure you're feeling better?"

Bella nodded and turned her head to kiss my right palm, "Not completely healed…but better."

"Do we dare risk a joint shower today?" After he had nightmares or E.J. spent the night with us, he was always quick to return after getting ready for the day. He had almost caught Bella and I in compromising positions more than once.

Bella giggled, "No…I don't think we should. You go ahead first."

"Okay love," I whispered as I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. She rolled off of my chest and giggled at the weird noise her actions made me make. I stood and went to my bags to dig for clothes. It wasn't raining presently, but it looked like there was a good chance later. The shower woke me up completely and I felt refreshed. When I stepped out of the bathroom in my boxers and jeans, E.J. and Bella were lying on my bed and laughing about something.

"Am I gonna have muscles like Daddy when I grow up?" E.J. asked Bella. Bella looked up and I saw her cheeks turn pink as her gaze turned back to the bedspread.

"Probably," Bella whispered, standing and going over to her bag.

E.J. slipped off the bed and grabbed my hand and tugged me over to my bag. He was in jeans and a long sleeved grey shirt today. I laughed as he started going through my bag. I knew he was looking for something that matched. It made my heart soar that he wanted to be so much alike. I heard the shower start just as E.J. whipped out the grey shirt that I had packed. I slipped it on before E.J. jumped on my back and we headed downstairs. My father, mother, and Emmett were standing around the island counter in the kitchen finishing up their coffees. Rosalie was sipping on some orange juice.

"Good morning you two!" my mother smiled as she turned to set her coffee mug in the sink.

"Morning Grandma Esme!" E.J. chirped from his spot on my back.

"Do you guys need something to eat? I didn't make anything. We were going to grab lunch in Port Angeles."

"No it's okay," I said as I sat E.J. on the counter top, "We're going to grab lunch at the diner before we go around for the day."

We said goodbye to my parents, Rosalie, and Emmett and waited for Bella in the living room. I let E.J. control the remote and we ended up watching some cartoons as we waited. I had my arm thrown around him and he leaned into my side as he laughed at something Sponge Bob just said. It was moments like these, when I was just doing normal things with my son, that I still couldn't believe he was mine. I had to wonder what other classmates of ours were doing now. Did any of them have children? Were any of them married? How many of them were even in Forks anymore?

Bella came down the stairs in grey skinny jeans that I recognized from our store. I inwardly rolled my eyes. Alice was infiltrating both of our wardrobes. Bella also had on black knee high boots and a green flower print thermal shirt. She had pinned half of her hair back and had her white coat in her hands. We took my father's Mercedes into town and arrived at the diner just before 1pm. The parking lot was relatively empty so I wasn't expecting to run into anyone.

The staff was the same, but thankfully they didn't make a fuss over Bella, E.J., and I. I think they were too stunned. All they said was the occasional welcome home. E.J. was polite, but I could tell he was getting a little shy. Bella was sitting across from me and E.J. sat next to me by the window, but each time a waitress stopped to say hello, or one of Bella's dad's co-workers came by, E.J. pressed a little further into my side.

We all ended up ordering burgers and fries, though Bella ordered a side of onion rings that she loved. E.J. only ate a little more than half of his burger, and was sipping happily on his milkshake, when I heard two voices I thought I would never hear again in my life.

"Oh my God…It's Edward and Bella!"

Even E.J. cringed and almost dropped his milkshake. He quickly put it down before he tried to hide himself behind my arm. I was thankful I never had to see her before, because Tanya Denali's voice was enough to make me cringe.

"Baby, what are you talk- Holy shit! Cullen and Swan?! You're fucking together?!"

"Tanya, Mike," I said as politely as I could. I had unfortunately seen both of them after I had the surgery. Both of them had ended up at UW as well and Tanya never got over the fact that I never once showed an interest in her. She looked the same…though there was potentially plastic that had been injected in some areas. Mike on the other hand, he looked like he doubled in size…and it wasn't in muscles like Ben.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't use language in front of our son!" Bella hissed.

"Your son?" Tanya shouted, shocked.

E.J. cowered behind me, "I don't like her voice Daddy. I want to go."

"Hah! Some man you're raising there Cullen!"

"Thank goodness he looks like Edward, and not Belly Bella," Tanya laughed.

I was about to stand up out of my seat, but Bella beat me to it.

"How would you know what man is supposed to be like Mike? Look at you, washed up, pathetic football player who never made anything of himself! And you!" She shouted pointing at Tanya, "You can make fun of my past all you want, but you'll never have what I have. You'll never have the perfect life that I do. Instead, you're still in Forks, with this sorry excuse for a man on your arm!"

I was shocked, but still didn't move, even when I heard E.J. whisper, "Wow Mommy."

Tanya looked like her head was going to explode and Mike just looked dumbfounded. Bella was shrugging on her coat when she continued.

"Edward and I are happy together and we have a son that we love more than anything. We grew up, but it looks like the two of you will always be clinging to a time where you used to think you had everything."

Bella walked out of the diner without another word. I quickly followed Bella's cue and was now standing and helping E.J. into his coat before shrugging on my own. He climbed into my arms as I was trying to get my wallet out to pay for the food. Tanya and Mike looked stunned and I saw the other patrons of the diner whispering and pointing at Mike and Tanya.

"So the kid is the reason Bella left you isn't he? The reason you went into that crazy depression? Or did she leave you for someone else and the kid's not yours?"

I was about to respond, but Jen, one of the waitresses we knew when we were growing up, jumped quickly to our defense.

"Grow the hell up Mike Newton! Bella Swan was never going to end up with you! She was always too good for you. And are you blind? Of course the kid is Edward's! He looks exactly like him!"

Mike looked stunned and Tanya was hissing at him, trying to pull him away to the counter. I was silent, but could feel the smirk on my face. E.J. was turned in my arms and watching the whole scene. We were matching in our grey coats and jeans, and our looks were even more obviously similar when I held him, because his face was right next to mine. Mike stumbled away as Tanya yanked hard on his sleeve. I turned to thank Jen and she handed me a carrier with three drinks inside.

"For you, Bella, and your little boy here. Two chocolate and one strawberry, your favorite milkshakes."

"Thank you Jen," I smiled, "Let me get my wallet out."

"Nonsense Edward!" Jen said, shoving my hand away from my pocket, "We haven't seen you two in here in ages. We're all so happy to see you guys together again."

Jen tickled E.J.'s side and he laughed loudly.

"And you little man," she said, shaking his hand, "it was a pleasure to meet you. Make sure your Daddy and Mommy come visit more often."

"Okay Ms. Jen!" E.J. smiled.

"Thank you…for everything Jen," I said as I nodded my head towards Mike and Tanya, "I guess some people never change."

Jen laughed, "I guess not Edward, but you can always hope they'll learn."

"Those two?" I asked, raising my brows.

"Well, maybe not those two. But you and Bella finally learned to stop running from each other and from Forks. A lot of people around here were real glad to hear you two were back in town and together. You were always the town's favorite couple."

I blushed a little. I did remember that the town was very fond of Bella and I. I knew it was because they all thought it was so sweet that Bella was with me even though I was blind. There was always talk of how sweet and kind and loving Bella was. She was selfless and loved me for me.

"Thank you Jen," I whispered.

"You make sure and see us again before you go."

"We will Jen. Thank you."

As I walked to the door, numerous people shouted goodbye. E.J. buried his face against my neck as I waved and headed out the door. I saw Mike and Tanya scowling at me, but they both jumped when Jen slapped a hand on the counter in front of them. Bella had the car keys and she was sitting in the front seat. I strapped E.J. in the back and quickly went to her side, opening the door and kneeling next to her.

"Are you okay Bella?"

She was looking forward and blushing profusely. I saw E.J. leaning forward in his seat trying to see our conversation.

"I can't believe I told them off like that…" Bella said in a quiet voice, "I…I…I never stood up to Mike or Tanya verbally like that."

Bella turned to look at me then and I was surprised to see a huge smile on her face, "That felt awesome!"

I almost fell backwards as Bella threw her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.

"I felt so strong Edward! I felt like I could take on anyone!"

"You were like Aunty Rosie, Mommy!" E.J. shouted from the backseat.

Bella laughed and pulled back to look at him, "I guess I was, wasn't I? Your Aunty is rubbing off on me."

The rest of our afternoon was happily spent together as a family. We stopped to show E.J. the high school and elementary school. He took a quick spin on the playground while we all finished our milkshakes. I told Bella everything that Jen had said to me in the diner.

"I told you the people of Forks don't hate you," I said before placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Well, Mike and Tanya do…but I don't care what they think," she giggled as she snuggled against my chest. We were standing under a large tree in the playground as we watched E.J. play on the slides.

"Nor do I love, nor do I."

E.J. fell asleep on the drive to La Push's First Beach, and luckily for us the clouds were clearing up a little. It was by no means sunny, but it at least didn't look like it was going to storm on us. E.J. was happy to wake up for once as he looked at the beach. He happily ran along the water's edge. Bella and I were both nervous wrecks, watching carefully in case he had a clumsy moment. We explored the tide pools and E.J. played with starfish and hermit crabs that we found. By the time we got to Port Angeles it was almost 5pm.

Since we had an hour to spare, we called the rest of our family and met up with them. We decided to split up between the men and the women. The women were shopping for cute little baby things that Rosalie could take back to New York. We men came across Port Angeles' old-fashioned candy store. E.J. and Emmett had a field day in there. I knew Bella wasn't going to be pleased with me, and my father laughed when I let E.J. buy whatever he wanted. There was seriously nothing I would deny this boy.

I carried him on my back as we headed towards Bella Italia. Rosalie was craving Italian food and I didn't mind that we were heading to the site of Bella and I's original first date. E.J. was jabbering on about tomorrow and how excited he was to be going to Seattle and seeing where the Mariners play live. I would definitely have to remember to check and see when they were coming to play the Yankees or the Mets in 2009.

Our ladies were waiting for us in front of the restaurant and I saw Bella's eyes go immediately to the large bag of candy E.J. had in his hands. Her eyes quickly snapped to mine and she scowled. I cowered, falling a little behind my father.

"HAH!" My father laughed, "One of the parenting lessons you'll need to learn Edward. How to say 'no'."

"You let him get all of that Edward?" Bella cried.

"I…we…we're on vacation?" I lamely offered.

My father laughed again before my mother smacked him on the arm, "Carlisle Cullen, you're not one who should talk! You were no better when Edward was growing up!"

"So I did learn it from somewhere then!" I laughed.

"Hey hey! Let's not pick on the old man!"

Emmett laughed, "Carlisle, you hardly look old. You'll have to let me know your secret."

Our dinner was absolutely delicious and full of fun and stories. Everyone couldn't believe it when E.J. and I told them what Bella had done at the diner. Bella of course, was the color of the tomato sauce on Rosalie's pizza.

"Man, I wish I was there to see that Bells!" Emmett boomed, clapping her on the shoulder.

"Seriously, I'm proud of you Bella!" Rosalie added, "I have nothing left to teach you!"

My mother and father chuckled. They were both not too terribly fond of Mike Newton or Tanya Denali. My Dad couldn't stand Tanya's father, who was also a doctor at the hospital.

E.J. was happily munching away on his macaroni and cheese, Bella had ordered her favorite mushroom ravioli, and I ordered the chicken parmesan. Rosalie had almost finished a rather large pizza by herself and Emmett had polished off his steak and the remainder of Rosalie's pizza. My mother enjoyed a nice pasta primavera, while my father enjoyed the carbonara.

The feeling of family that had surrounded us these past couple of days was so overwhelming I actually didn't want it to end. I really had missed being with my parents and I missed being here in Forks with Bella. I was happy that we were able to share this with E.J. Sure, this morning was rough, but right now, all I felt was content and happy.

E.J. passed out on the car ride back home and I had to carry him up to his bed. He didn't even stir once as Bella and I changed him into his pajamas. She packed a small bag for him tomorrow since they were spending the night in Seattle. I agreed to help give him a bath tomorrow morning before they left. When we got into our room, I found Bella's arms wrapped around my waist and her head burying itself against my chest.

"What is it love?" I asked as I stroked her hair.

"I just can't get over everything we've been through in the past days. I used to always hate that things never changed in Forks, but these past few days have made me kind of thankful that things never changed."

I realized that Bella was right. I myself had come to hate the small town life of Forks after the surgery and wanted nothing more than to escape the whispers and rumors. However, after today and Jen's kind words, I was relieved. People were so friendly when I was leaving the diner. It made me wonder if I misunderstood their whispers before. If they weren't whispering about "poor Edward Cullen" because I was pathetic, but they were whispering about "poor Edward Cullen" because I was hurting and I was unhappy.

"I don't think I could live here again," I started, "But I could definitely come visit here more often."

"Me too," Bella whispered, tilting her head back so she could see me. We slowly and softly pressed our lips together. Our arms wrapped tighter around each other and I was lost in the sensation of holding her in my arms and kissing her. Our kisses slowly became more urgent and frantic and before I knew it, I found myself being pushed into my bathroom.

We took our time undressing and caressing each other. This wasn't new territory and we were both very comfortable going this far in our sexual relationship. I knew that at some point, Bella was going to want to go all the way. I know I did…but I wasn't going to push her. I was more than fine with what I had with her now. We soaked in the warm water briefly before the water wasn't the only thing that was heated.

I had to work hard to muffle Bella's cries with my lips. Her release was quick and hard just as my own. I attempted to stifle my own cries against the skin of her neck. I don't think I was all that successful. After toweling off, we lay naked in each others arms in my bed for a little while. We both grudgingly pulled on our pajamas, knowing E.J. would come in here early tomorrow morning before they headed out to Seattle. They were leaving practically at the crack of dawn so they could have a full day there.

In all honesty, tomorrow was the one day of our trip that I was dreading the most. Tomorrow we were meeting with Sue Clearwater and she was going to give us the keys to Charlie's house. Tomorrow, we were going to clean out the house and get rid of all of the old things in there. The reason I wasn't looking forward to it, was because I knew Bella was going to be an emotional wreck. And I was thinking that before the whole letter debacle happened. Tomorrow, Bella was also going to get answers from Sue that she had been waiting for.

Bella was snuggled against my chest and her leg draped over my waist. I let my fingers ghost along the bare flesh of her legs. She had decided her pajamas were only going to consist of my t-shirt and her underwear tonight. Despite my release in the shower, I knew I was going to have a difficult time going to sleep now. Bella really didn't know just what she did to me.

I wrapped my arms around her tighter and I heard her let out a little purr of contentment before she sighed and snuggled deeper. She mumbled my name before she fell silent. I hoped that tonight her dreams would be peaceful, for tomorrow she was going to have to face some of her nightmares. Tomorrow she was truly returning home.

**Well? Yes? No? I know I know…we're all probably sick of the drama from the past, but you all know problems like Bella and Edward's aren't easily solved or forgotten. Although, Bella & Edward are finally starting to move away to a "drama free" zone. There can't always be drama…there needs to be some flat out happy chapters right? :-P One more chapter in Forks, and then back to New York. **

**So, what do you think Sue is going to say when she sees Bella and Edward? I think I'm feeling BPOV next. Let me know what you think (good or bad), I want to hear it! Pretty please? :- )**


	23. Chapter 22: Thank God I Found You

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: I hope you all are still with me. My thoughts are with everyone in the South Pacific area. I hope everyone is safe after the earthquakes. Keep them in your thoughts.**

**Thank you for your support on this story (especially you ajenc). If you go to my profile and click on Homepage, it will take you to a site I created with photo albums for pictures that correspond with my FF stories. Check it out. Let me know if there is something you want me to include. **

_**I would give you everything **_

_**There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do **_

_**To ensure your happiness **_

_**I'll cherish every part of you **_

_**Because without you beside me I can't survive **_

_**I don't wanna try **_

_**If you're keeping me warm each and every night **_

_**I'll be all right **_

_**'Cause I need you in my life **_

_**Thank God I found you**_

_**I was lost without you **_

_**My every wish and every dream **_

_**Somehow became reality **_

_**When you brought the sunlight **_

_**Completed my whole life **_

_**I'm overwhelmed with gratitude **_

_**'Cause baby I'm so thankful **_

_**I found you **_

_**-Mariah Carey feat. Joe & 98 Degrees, "Thank God I Found You"**_

Chapter 22: Thank God I Found You

_**BPOV**_

Edward was lightly snoring and the breaths were tickling my skin. After our day cleaning up my father's old house, and then us sort of taking advantage of an empty Cullen house, he was exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally.

As he lay on my bare chest, I ran one hand through his hair and the other traced along the muscles in his arm wrapped around my waist. I kept thinking about why Edward had stopped us before we went all the way. I couldn't help but let old insecurities come roaring back to the front of my mind. But oh my Edward, he knew just what to say just like always.

"_I always want you Bella, always…but I'm not ready, not tonight. Please, just let me hold you? It has been a very long day."_

I knew Edward was right. When we finally did make love again, I didn't want it to be rushed or because I needed to feel like I was loved. I wanted it to be because we were both in the right place physically and emotionally. Because there were no outside influences other than we loved each other. Today had been a very long day and I did spend a better part of it in tears. I tightened my arms around Edward's lean frame. I would never have been able to handle today if he wasn't at my side. I would never have been able to return to Forks if I hadn't found Edward again. I knew that without a doubt, I would never be able to survive without Edward by my side again.

_Flashback_

"_Edward, are you sure I packed E.J.'s sweatshirt? I don't remember seeing it in the bag. And did I put his toothbrush in there after his shower? I-"_

"_Bella! Please, E.J. will be fine. This is just like when we sent him to sleep over at Garett's house the first time. If you forgot anything, my parents will get it okay?"_

"_I know, but Edward I don't want them to have to spend any money they don't have to."_

_Edward snorted. He actually snorted. "Says the number one author on the New York Times Best Seller list for the last 5 weeks, who rented a private jet to fly us here! Relax Bella. Be more worried about my mother spoiling that boy rotten."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Speaking of which, I can't believe you let him buy all that candy!"_

"_What?" Edward shrugged as he turned up the road towards my old home, "It was all old fashioned kind of candy you don't see anymore. Not even Dylan's Candy Bar has some of that stuff back in the city. It's not like he's going to eat it all in one sitting." _

_I had fallen silent though and all conversation about E.J. and candy was completely forgotten. I wasn't sure what I was feeling as I saw the small two-story white and green house come into view. Edward must've sensed I was feeling off because his hand left the steering wheel and found mine, lacing our fingers together. He pulled in behind Sue's red Volkswagen and killed the engine._

"_I'm home…" I whispered, letting my eyes roam over the house I hadn't seen in 6 years. _

_I saw the front door open and Sue Clearwater stepped out. Seth had her kind dark eyes and smile, but the rest was all his father Harry. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. It was like déjà vu seeing Sue standing in the doorway as I arrived home. She had greeted me at the door every day after I came home from school or practice. I knew I wanted answers from her, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear them. Edward squeezed my hand and brought our hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckles._

"_Are you ready love?" he whispered._

_I nodded and started gathering my things together after he let go of my hand. I smiled when Edward opened my door and offered me his hand. One thing that made me feel better was knowing that Edward was also nervous about seeing Sue. He was ashamed of the last impression he had made on her when he was here for my father's funeral. He twined our fingers together again and slowly led us up the walk towards the front door. Sue had a smile on her face, though she also seemed nervous. Well, that was reassuring also._

"_Bella, Edward," Sue said, she opened her arms and I automatically found myself stepping into them, though making the hug awkward as I refused to let go of Edward's hand._

"_It's so good to see you Sue," I whispered. I stepped away so she could hug Edward._

"_I'm so sorry about the last time I was here," Edward said, his face looking at the ground._

_Sue's hands cupped Edward's cheeks and forced him to look at her. "Edward, I can't even imagine how overwhelming life has been for you since the surgery. You have nothing to apologize for. You two have no idea how happy I am to see you two standing here together."_

_Sue wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and squeezed him tightly. I saw a tear escape down her cheek and felt my own eyes water. Sue had been dating my father for a long time. She had seen me grow up and she had seen Edward and I together for the better part of our relationship. She and Esme were both like mothers to me._

"_Now, come in, come in. Let's get out of the rain and cold." _

_My steps faltered as I entered the house. I was home. I was really and truly home. Sue and Charlie had changed nothing over the years. The paint in the kitchen looked the same and the faded material of the couch in the living room remained the same. Edward squeezed my hand and came to stand in front of me, bending down so he could look into my eyes. It was then that I realized I hadn't moved an inch since I came in the door. I saw Sue behind Edward looking worried._

"_Bella, love, are you okay?" Edward whispered, my eyes finally finding his._

"_I…I…" I stuttered, "it's all the same."_

_Edward slowly guided me forward as I looked around at everything. Sue sat across from Edward and I at the kitchen table and pushed a cup of coffee towards both of us. Some of her homemade blueberry muffins sat in a container on the table. I picked nervously at one, nobody saying a word as we sat around the table. I was so unsure of where to begin. I knew that Sue had moved back down to La Push, unable to stay in the house by herself. _

"_Bella," Sue sighed, "I…I want to explain about…about the letter." _

_I saw the tears in her eyes, and I knew this was going to be extremely difficult for her as well. She really loved my dad. Edward cleared his throat and stood, kissing my forehead._

"_How about I let you two talk? I'll start getting the boxes and stuff?"_

"_Thank you Edward," Sue said, "they're in the garage." _

_Edward gave me one more reassuring smile before he exited the room. I nervously bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing about my father at the end. I took a deep breath and tried to channel my inner Rosalie from yesterday. _

"_Bella, you know I loved your dad very much."_

_I nodded. I never questioned it. They both had experienced losing their loves early on in their marriages, but both persevered because they were trying to raise two children. I remember that I was only 7 years old when Harry Clearwater passed away. Seth and I had been friends because Harry and my dad went fishing together. Sue and my father sort of leaned on each other after that. My mother Renee had died 5 years previously. While they didn't really start dating until I was almost in high school, I did see Sue as a mother figure. I learned a lot from seeing her raise Seth on her own. Sue was a strong woman._

"_I'm so sorry Bella…" Sue sniffled, "You were always like a daughter to me…and I betrayed you." _

"_Oh Sue!" I cried, gripping her hands._

"_No Bella…I did. I always loved seeing Edward and you together. I should never have let your father send you away. I should've fought him harder on the matter. Charlie and I…we…we didn't speak for a while after you left. I just couldn't look at him." _

_I squeezed Sue's hands harder. Not that I expected to have known that, but I was surprised. _

"_We…we started talking again after you and Emmett disappeared from Montana. Charlie was working tirelessly to track you down, then he started working on tracking Edward down. After things ended between he and Carlisle, Charlie was too proud to ask for Carlisle's help finding Edward. You know your father was a stubbornly proud man."_

_I nodded. It was were I got my occasional stubborn streak from. _

"_Your father was working himself to the bone, both at the police station, and then trying to find you and Edward. That was when I noticed he was starting to look paler, and he started getting sick a lot. He found you both right before the doctors told him about the cancer." _

_I could feel the tears start to fall over my cheeks. _

"_He wrote the letter after that…I don't know if he ever originally meant to send it, but I found it on the kitchen table. We got into another argument. He said he didn't want you to come back to see him out of pity just because he was dying. He made me promise to hold on to the letter and make sure I gave it to you when you came to the funeral. He said I had to give it to you in person, and I'm sorry I left it in the mailbox. I just…I wanted more time to prepare for our face to face talk, and I also wanted you to have some time to process what was in the letter." _

_I nodded. I understood why Sue did so. I would have hated to have freaked out on her like I had when I originally read the letter. _

"_Charlie said that all he really wanted you to know, was that in the end, he was incredibly sorry for what he'd done, and that's why he hunted down Edward, and he wanted you to know how much he's loved you. That he's always loved you and you were always his baby."_

_I was sobbing now. It was one thing to read my father's last words…but it was something completely different to hear it from someone who was with him at the end._

"_He made me promise to hold on to it Bella. He made me promise to give it to you in person. I…I couldn't refuse the last thing he asked of me." _

_The tears were rolling steadily down Sue's cheeks, but I was all out sobbing. It was almost as if my tears were purging away the last of the hurt and the pain. Sue moved around the table and embraced me in a hug. She had done the same thing whenever I got hurt playing volleyball or I was frustrated about Edward's surgery. I wanted to resent my Dad for keeping her away from me after I found out about the pregnancy, but I knew that would do nothing now._

"_Oh Bella," Sue whispered, "I wish I would've done more for you. I should've done more…"_

"_Oh Sue, no!" I cried, pulling back to look at her, "You've always been like a mother to me! I love you as if you were my own!"_

"_Bella, I can't help but feel I let you down. That I could've stopped things, or could've gotten you and Edward together soon, or let you see Charlie one more time. I-"_

"_Sue!" I cut her off, "You didn't let me down. You're here right now. You held on to that letter. You made it possible for me to know how much my Dad did love me!" _

"_Oh Bella…"_

"_Thank you Sue," I sniffled, "You have no idea how thankful I am."_

"_I always thought of you like my own daughter Bella," Sue said, squeezing me as I squeezed her back, she laughed quietly, "Speaking of offspring, can you imagine my son shopping yesterday? He called and said he got dragged around by a black haired friend of yours?"_

_I laughed. I forgot Alice and Seth were going to go shopping together on Black Friday. Jasper was relieved to have someone taking his place. I guess Seth seriously underestimated the powerhouse that is Alice._

"_Yeah, he went shopping with our crazy friend Alice. Shopping is like an Olympic sport to that woman."_

_Sue laughed, "My son…he should listen to Jacob more often. I know Jake told him not to do it." _

_A thought suddenly occurred to me, "Sue, where did you spend the holiday the other day?"_

"_Oh," she said thoughtfully, "I was helping at the hospital, volunteering and such during the day and for dinner I just had something small."_

_I frowned. I knew Seth and Jacob didn't come because they couldn't afford it. They weren't even sure if they could afford coming home for Christmas. An idea popped into my head._

"_You know, Carlisle and Esme are coming to spend the Christmas and New Year's holidays with us in New York City. Would you like to spend them with us as well? I know we would all love for you to be there."_

"_Oh Bella, I don't know…"_

"_Nonsense Sue, you're family!"_

"_I'll talk to Seth. If he doesn't mind-"_

"_Sue, if that boy objects, I'm going to punch him in the jaw." _

_After we spoke a little bit more about our lives in the city, and calling Seth and informing him Sue was coming (he was thrilled), Edward returned with several boxes. He immediately knelt in front of me and kissed my lips._

"_How are you love?" He whispered._

"_I feel much better now," I bit my lip, "Can we…can we stop by the cemetery tomorrow before we go?"_

"_Of course love," Edward replied, placing a kiss on my forehead. _

"_Bella," Sue asked, returning from the bathroom, "Do you mind if I talk to Edward alone for a bit?"_

_I shook my head, "Go ahead. I'm uh, I'm going to go get started in my room."_

_I grabbed two boxes and slowly headed upstairs. I was thankful that Sue had already gone through my father's room before she moved back down to La Push. I don't know that I would've been able to handle that. When I came to my closed bedroom door I took a deep breath. Edward told me that when he was here for the funeral, it looked like the room hadn't been touched in years. _

_When I opened the door I gasped. Edward was right…nothing had been moved since I hastily packed up my life 6 years ago. The only thing I regretted leaving was the picture that sat on my desk. It was a picture of my father, my mother, and myself when I was probably a year old. I was so mad at my father that I just left it there. I didn't want to be reminded of the family I had lost. There was dust covering the surface of my bare desk and bookshelves and I slowly settled onto the purple bedspread. There were so many memories haunting me here. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks before I even realized I was crying. In my haste to leave, I knew I had left a lot of things behind. _

_I decided to start with my dresser first. Clothes that had been sitting here for 6 years wouldn't get me emotional, I wasn't Alice after all. I sat and started to open drawers, unfolding and folding up clothes that Edward and I would donate to a shelter before we left. I remembered that when I was packing for Montana, I barely even bothered to take any clothes with me since I was going to outgrow them all. I tried to keep my mind blank as I rhythmically unfolded and folded before placing in boxes. _

_I was so lost in my routine that I barely heard the sound of metal falling against the wooded floors of my room. When I looked down, I gasped. I thought I lost it when I was moving. Delicately, I picked the simple chain off the floor to let the pendant dangle. It was the silver heart pendant necklace that Edward had given me for Christmas when we were 14 years old. I remember being even more devastated while I was packing because I couldn't find it. I had worn it every day since he gave it to me, only taking it off for volleyball practice and showers. I quickly undid the clasp and put it around my neck._

The hand that was stroking the muscles of Edward's arm momentarily left it's path and went to my chest. I softly stroked the heart pendant that now hung there. I couldn't believe I found it. It was something that was definitely important to the history of Edward and I. He gave me that pendant during our first Christmas together and that was also the first time that he told me he loved me. I would probably roll my eyes at any other 14 year old that said they were in love, but Edward and I…we were meant to be. These last few months proved that true.

_When Edward finally came upstairs with Sue, they found me standing frozen in front of my open closet. I don't know how long I was standing there looking at boxes full of pictures and clothes and other memories. I jumped when Edward said my name softly and turned to face them. His eyes immediately went to the necklace that now rested against my neck. Edward had never known what it looked like. He didn't say anything as Sue stepped forward to say goodbye. She promised she would see us in three weeks to spend Christmas and New Year's with all of us. She also said that she couldn't wait to meet E.J._

_After walking Sue to her car, Edward returned to find me still standing in front of the closet. I heard him deposit more boxes on the floor before I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and nuzzle his face against my neck. Slowly he turned me around and I saw that his eyes were glued to the necklace. I felt my breathing pick up when he slowly raised his right hand and brought it down to trace around the chain and pendant. He did it all with his eyes closed and I watched a smile slowly blossom on his lips_

"_This is it isn't? You found it," He said softly. His eyes opened and found mine._

_I could only nod. Edward's crooked smile widened as he leaned forward and kissed my forehead before softly pressing his lips to mine. _

"_I always knew it looked beautiful on you."_

_I giggled, "You never did tell me how you chose it."_

"_Hm…" Edward started, as he stood up straight and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, "My mother helped me. She picked out ones she thought I would like and let me feel them. Apparently the jeweler was not pleased, but my father said my mother gave the saleswoman her 'death stare' and the jeweler stopped. I liked the feel of this one and liked that there was a small diamond. My mother fully approved."_

"_I'm glad I found it. I thought I lost it forever," I sighed._

"_You thought you lost me forever too," Edward whispered, "I guess that saying is true…if you really love something it'll come back to you." _

"_I think you're right," I whispered, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face against his chest. _

_We stood like that for a few more minutes before Edward and I started to tackle my closet. There really wasn't much other than old school books and more clothes. My tears were scarce for the rest of the afternoon. Edward pulled things out of the closet while I threw them all in boxes. I also stripped the bed of its contents and threw them in a box. Edward and I hadn't really talked too much about what we wanted to do with the house. Sue said that Charlie had left it to me. He didn't have a lot of possessions that he left behind, but I gave everything else to Sue. I had more than enough. She refused to take the house though._

_My tears returned when Edward stepped out of the closet holding my Prom dress. If there was any article of clothing that was going to bring tears to my eyes, it was my Prom dress. There were so many memories that were associated with our Prom night. It wasn't just that Prom was a "special rite of passage" or Angela and I had searched high and low for the perfect dress. That Prom night changed my life as I know it. That night gave E.J. to Edward and I…and I could never regret it._

"_It's more stunning than I could have ever imagined," Edward said softly, and I wasn't sure it was to himself or not. He held it in front of him and looked at the beading. I sniffled and Edward looked up. He immediately dropped the dress on the desk chair and had me in his arms a second later._

"_What is it, love?" He asked as one arm stayed wrapped around my waist and the other cupped my cheek. _

"_That's my Prom dress," I sniffled._

_I saw Edward's brows furrow slightly, "I know…"_

_As he drew out the last word, I saw the look of realization pass over his face, and his eyes instantly softened into understanding._

"_I…I wish I could've seen you in this," He said gesturing towards the dress, "I don't think pictures do it justice."_

_I nodded. I knew that the pictures of Edward in his tuxedo from Prom didn't do him justice. I got an idea and stepped out of Edward's arms. I was still around the same size I was in high school, give or take a few pounds. I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath as I threw my sweater and shirt off._

"_Bella, what-"_

_I waved my hand at him and shushed him, "Turn around, and don't look until I tell you to."_

_I heard him shuffling and assumed he was turning around. I popped the clasp on my bra and when I heard no sharp inhalation, I knew he must've been turned around. I quickly slipped off my boots and jeans and pulled the dress up and over my hips. I maneuvered around in the dress for a few seconds before I was able to zip up the back completely. I tied half of my hair up, trying to mimic my look from the special night all those years ago and finally turned to face Edward. He had listened to me and was turned around, leaning in my doorway looking out into the hallway._

"_You can turn around now," I said softly._

_Edward turned so slowly I could've sworn that time itself had slowed down to a near stop. The tears were still falling down my face as I watched Edward's eyes grow wide and his jaw go slack. He moved ever so slowly towards me, like he was scared I was going to run off or something and slowly reached out to my waist. When his fingers made contact I saw his eyes close before he pressed his palm fully against my hip and let them guide along the material of the dress. His eyes slowly opened and they fixed on his hand that was tracing along the pattern of the bead work. _

"_I don't know that we would've made it to the Prom if I had been able to see you in this…" Edward chuckled softly, "You look absolutely stunning Bella." _

_I was blushing beyond belief. I will never get used to Edward telling me how beautiful or stunning I look. Edward bent forward, wrapping his arms around my waist, and placed kisses on my forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally lips before he pulled back._

"_Do you remember what our Prom song was?" _

_I frowned. Surprisingly enough, I didn't. I shook my head, and my breath caught in my throat when Edward started to sing._

"_Thank God I found you_

_I was lost without you _

_My every wish and every dream _

_Somehow became reality _

_When you brought the sunlight _

_Completed my whole life _

_I'm overwhelmed with gratitude _

_'Cause baby I'm so thankful _

_I found you…"_

"'_Thank God I Found You,'" I whispered. Edward nodded._

"_Appropriate for the two of us. I don't think I would've survived much longer without you in my life," He said in a soft voice._

"_Edward…" I started, but he cut me off._

"_You should keep this."_

_I frowned._

"_Why?" I asked skeptically, "Where am I ever going to wear this? What am I going to need it for?"_

"_Mmmm…" Edward hummed, "I don't know, but I'm sure I can think of a reason. No point in letting go of such a beautiful and memorable dress." _

_My ears didn't miss the way he emphasized the word "memorable" and when I looked into his I eyes, I knew I read correctly into the meaning of his words. Prom was memorable for him, just as much as it was for me. It gave us both the only other person we loved just as much as each other. I nodded and blushed even more as Edward helped me out of the dress and back into my clothes. If he was ever tempted by my nakedness he never showed it, and as always, remained my gentlemanly Edward._

_End Flashback_

The rest of our packing went by without any more tears. The only time I got teary eyed was when we were locking up the house to leave. Even now as Edward and I lay here, the question of what we were going to do with the house still hung in the air. We cleared out all of the possessions in my room and Edward double checked that my father's room was emptied. We didn't know what to do with the furniture or the kitchen appliances. I guess we would have to discuss it all later. I was thinking of maybe letting Esme do something with the house.

Edward and I had a quiet relaxing dinner of leftovers. Thanksgiving was pretty much the only time I ate turkey anyway, so I gladly ate my fill. We watched some TV together on the couch before heading upstairs to take a bath. That of course, was when things started to get heated. After my minor freak-out of thinking that Edward didn't want me, he took his time washing my body and hair. I think I felt even more loved through these actions than anything else. He had a raging hard on the whole time he was taking care of me, so of course when it was my turn to wash him, I might've made sure he was cleaner in a certain spot than the rest of his body. It was a good thing the house was empty tonight…Edward was getting louder and louder each time.

Edward mumbled and his body shifted against mine. I stifled a moan when I felt his erection press against my hip. This man was going to kill me. I wiggled my body so there was at least some space between me and that monster. From my new position, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his softly before finally letting sleep overtake me.

I awoke to Edward's loud groan and the sound of his phone. I couldn't help but giggle. Edward hated being woken up by a phone call more than anything. As he blindly groped for his phone on the side table, I noticed that somewhere during the night we had shifted positions. He was on his back and I had burrowed my way into my place against his side. I heard Edward knock his glasses onto the ground before he finally grasped his phone.

"Hello?" He mumbled, his voice deep and rough with sleep.

"Mmmm…" He grunted, "Okay, see you guys in a couple of hours."

I giggled again when I watched Edward's hand fall limply to the bed and heard his phone fall to the floor with a thud.

"Why are you giggling? It's too early…" He groaned.

I pushed myself up slightly and head him groan as I searched for a clock in the room. When I didn't see one, I slid further so I hung draped over his body and reached for his discarded phone on the floor.

"I hate to break it to you, baby," I said with a chuckle, "but it's nearly noon."

I squealed when Edward pulled me back onto the bed and in an impressive show of strength and coordination, I suddenly found myself pinned on my back.

"Noon?" Edward growled playfully at me, "My father said they're going to be back at 2."

"We have 2 hours left alone then," I giggled, "Whatever shall we do?"

"Mmmm…" Edward hummed, as his lips descended upon my neck and began to nip his way down to my breasts, "There's something I am curious about…"

I felt myself beginning to pant as he thoroughly worshiped my breasts. I shouldn't be surprised that Edward was a breast guy still. I guess being able to see just made it all the more enjoyable. I was barely able to stutter out a "what" as he began to suck on my sensitive skin. Edward's body slithered further down my own and between my legs.

"Your skin tastes so good," he murmured as he licked and sucked on the skin of my stomach, "Do you taste that good everywhere?"

Last night I thought we had to be concerned about how loud Edward was getting, but in reality, I think it's me we're going to have to worry about. As soon as Edward's tongue ventured to a place it has never been, I screamed his name. My hips bucked and my hands automatically gripped his hair to push his face closer. His hands gripped my hips and held them in place as he continued his little taste test. My voice was raw from screaming and moaning and my body was limp on his mattress by the time my orgasm ripped through me. It was so intense I couldn't move. I barely even made out Edward's whispers and soft kisses as he stood up and went to prepare a bath for the two of us.

We spent the remainder of our alone time in the bathtub. I helped him make his "problem" disappear for at least the next couple of hours, and he gave me a massage…both of which had us silently giving thanks that the house was empty. Volume control was clearly going to be an issue. We both grudgingly got out of the tub when we heard Edward's phone ringing in the other room. We both quickly threw on clothes because Carlisle said they were 15 minutes away from the house.

E.J. came crashing through the door from the garage and quickly launched himself into Edward's waiting arms in the living room. I cringed when I saw the amount of shopping bags Rosalie, Esme, Emmett, and Carlisle had with them.

"Don't worry Bella," Esme laughed, having noticed my face, "We didn't spoil E.J. too badly."

I turned to see E.J. enthusiastically telling Edward about the Mariners' stadium and how Grandpa Carlisle had bought him a shirt, hat, and sweatshirt. Esme was right…Carlisle was no better at saying 'no' than Edward was. Rosalie had all kinds of bags full of clothes for both her and the baby, though they didn't know the sex yet. Esme had apparently done quite the number shopping. Most of the bags were hers.

After looking over their purchases, we agreed to meet at the diner later for dinner. Edward and I took E.J. to the cemetery to visit my father. He had asked us if he could talk to Charlie the other day when we were taking him around Forks. He asked for his privacy, but as Edward and I watched him from afar, I could see that he was smiling and at one point, gesturing to his new Mariners sweatshirt. I knew he wasn't mad at Charlie. E.J. said he simply wanted a chance to talk to this grandpa, just like he got to talk to Carlisle. Neither Edward nor myself asked E.J. what he said, but we both clearly heard E.J. tell Charlie he loved him before he came running back to Edward and I.

Jen was at the diner when we got there and E.J. was less shy this time and loudly shouted "Hi" to her, mostly embarrassing us adults as the whole diner turned to look. He talked happily with Jen and told her all about the Mariners stadium. Jen told E.J. all about the games she had been to and E.J was completely engrossed in her stories about Ken Griffey Jr. and Randy Johnson. All of the adults watched amusedly. Edward and I spoke briefly about Charlie's house, saying we wished to discuss our decision a little more, but would let Carlisle and Esme know when they came to New York at Christmas time. They were thrilled to hear that Sue was coming as well.

Alice placed an extremely well timed call and she got to talk to everyone. Apparently she was missing her "estrogen" and needed Rosalie and I to come back immediately. Angela and Ben had gone to visit her brother in California. I guess dealing with Seth, Jacob, and Jasper was a little much. Even little Nessie wasn't helping the situation. We all watched, a little in awe, as Rosalie polished off her entire meatloaf and then pie. She shrugged and Emmett high fived her. I sighed a little as I pushed around the rest of my pie. I was going to miss this when we returned to the city and went back to our separate busy work lives. Not that we didn't see each other all the time, but we truly felt like family here.

E.J. had fallen asleep sometime after the pie had come, but all of the adults were too engrossed in conversation about Seattle to notice. Jen stopped by with pie for us all to take back and gave Edward and I hugs, although she had to awkwardly hug Edward because E.J. was passed out in his arms. Later that night, I too passed out in Edward's arms. Tomorrow morning we were heading back to whatever life had waiting for us in the Big Apple.

**Well? Yes? No? I may or may not have glossed over some semi-important parts, but I'm trying to get the story moving. I felt like I was losing my direction again. Well, they go back to NYC next chapter. I'm not sure who's POV will be next…but Alice's is coming up. I've missed the pixie and the Southern gentleman.**

**Remember, check out my homepage for the pictures that correspond to this story if you get a chance. Let me know if there's any pictures you want to add, and let me know (good or bad) what you thought of this chapter. Pretty please? :- ) **


	24. Chapter 23: All I Want For Christmas

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Umm…surprise on the POV. It still makes me nervous…**

**Oh, and I like the version of this song from "Love Actually" better. It's one of my favorite parts of the movie.**

**OH, and trust me, you're going to want to read this chapter all the way to the end. There's some big bombs dropped, and you anonymous PM-ers, I think you should be happy…Song lyrics are a pretty big hint…**

_**All the lights are shining **_

_**So brightly everywhere **_

_**And the sound of children's laughter fills the air **_

_**And everyone is singing **_

_**I hear those sleigh bells ringing **_

_**Santa won't you bring me the one I really need **_

_**Won't you please bring my baby to me…**_

_**-Olivia Olson, "All I Want For Christmas Is You"**_

Chapter 23: All I Want For Christmas Is You

_**EJPOV**_

Daddy and I were shopping for Mommy's Christmas present, and he was taking me to see Santa Claus. I had something very special I wanted to ask him for, but I didn't want to tell Mommy and Daddy about it just yet. Mommy already helped me get Nessie, Kate, and Garrett's presents. Nessie's favorite Disney princess is Belle so Mommy helped me get stuff from the big toy store. Mommy was out today with Aunty Rosie, Miss Alice, and Miss Angela. Miss Alice said something about their friend Victoria having a secret before Mommy rushed me out of the bedroom to go find Daddy. I kind of wanted to see Uncle Emmett and Mr. Whitlock today, but Daddy said they were busy shopping too.

It was cold today and Daddy was hanging on to my hand tightly. Mr. Whitlock said we only have 5 days of school left before Christmas break. I was bouncing along next to Daddy. I liked Christmas time. There were lights everywhere and Mommy promised me that I could try ice-skating this year. Plus, Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme are coming soon. Nessie said her Grandma Sue is coming too.

I was much happier this year. Last year I got something from Daddy. It was a special drawing set from the Louvre. Now that I know it wasn't really from Daddy, but from Mommy, I still loved it anyway. This year I get to have a real Christmas with Daddy, but he wouldn't even let me guess what my present was. He said it was a surprise. I wondered if I even had to ask Santa for my present. Mommy and Daddy already knew I didn't want any toys, so I wasn't sure what my present from Daddy might be.

When Daddy opened the door to a huge store with big glass doors I frowned. It reminded me of one of those big safe thingies in banks in the movies. There were people rushing about everywhere and I instantly moved before a big man in a black coat almost stepped on me. I wrapped my arms around Daddy's leg.

"Daddy…" I cried.

Daddy quickly picked me up before he started moving towards the back of the store. A man came up to Daddy asking if he needed help. I looked at Daddy curiously when I heard him ask for Aro. I looked around the store. There were shiny and sparkly things everywhere. When I looked closer in the glass tank thing in front of us, I saw rings with really big diamonds on it.

"Daddy! Are you buying Mommy a ring?"

Daddy looked down at me and his eyes were really big.

"Why…um, what makes you ask that E.J.?"

I pointed, "All I see are big shiny rings. Are you going to get Mommy one like the ones Aunty Rosie and Miss Alice have?"

Daddy looked down at the tank thingy and he smiled before he said, "one day", before he looked up at me again. "Not today though. We're picking up Mommy's present that I ordered a couple of weeks ago."

Someone said "Mr. Cullen," and when I looked I saw a scary looking man. He looked like the bad vampires that were in the movie Uncle Emmett let me watch on TV once. He was in all black and his skin looked the same color as an onion. I heard Daddy call him "Aro" and when he tried to talk to me, I bit my lip and buried my face against Daddy's neck.

"Ah, he's a shy one huh Edward?"

"Not usually. The crowds are a little overwhelming today," Daddy said.

I held on to Daddy as he continued talking to Mr. Aro. As I peeked out behind Daddy's neck, I saw all these ladies staring at Daddy. I didn't like it. I looked up and frowned at a lady that came close to Daddy's back. When she saw me frowning at her, she hurried away. Every time I was with Daddy, ladies always looked at him and talked to him. Even when he took me to get my bagel after school. I didn't like it and Daddy was always really red in the face afterwards.

Mr. Aro handed Daddy a little light blue bag and Daddy thanked him before carrying me out of the store.

"Do you want to get some lunch E.J.?" Daddy asked.

I bit my lip as I thought about what I wanted. My tummy was very loud as Daddy held me and waited for my answer. I decided I wanted to go to one of Jake's favorite places. He had taken Nessie and I a few times with Sethy.

"Let's go to L&L Daddy!"

Daddy laughed, "H&H Bagels, L&L…anything else you like that's just two letters?"

I thought about it, "I like peanut butter M&M's…and I like that you and me are E&E."

Daddy smiled at me before brushing a hand through my hair and putting a black hat on my head, "Okay…L&L it is."

Daddy quickly got a taxi and put the blue bag in his jacket pocket while we rode. I pressed my face against the window. There were so many colorful lights and Christmas stuff everywhere. I was just waiting for snow now. Miss Alice let me, Nessie, Kate, and Garrett help decorate she and Daddy's store with Christmas stuff.

I clapped when I saw the red & yellow sign. Jake and Sethy had both been to Hawaii and they said this place was one of the best places they ate at while they were there. I liked their fried chicken. It had a special name that I couldn't remember, but the menus had pictures so I could order. Daddy let me pay the taxi driver before we hopped out. My tummy rumbled when I smelled the yummy food cooking.

Daddy and I both got the same thing, the fried chicken with the weird name. It had a red sauce that you dipped it in. I swung my legs on my chair as I waited for Daddy to finish eating. I was thinking about what I wanted to get for Mommy. Daddy said I could choose. He was taking me to the same store from the movie "Miracle of 34th Street" so I could see Santa and look for something for Mommy.

"What do you want to get for Mommy E.J.?"

I bit my lip and looked at the menus on the wall. What would Mommy like? Last year Aunty Rosie helped me pick out some clothes for Mommy. Hmmm…what would Mommy need? I remembered something Aunty Rosie told me, and if Santa got me what I asked for, then Mommy would enjoy this. I was a good boy this year, so Santa would hopefully get me what I wanted.

"I want to get Mommy cooking stuff."

Daddy's eyebrows moved up his face, "Cooking stuff? What kind of cooking stuff?"

My nose scrunched up, "I don't know. Can we just look around?"

Daddy nodded and then we were off in a taxi again, going to the store Daddy called, "Macy's". When we got out, this place looked like Christmas Town in Miss Alice's favorite movie "The Nightmare Before Christmas." There were people rushing around everywhere again, and I saw all sorts of colors and lights. Daddy picked me up so no one would crush me.

"Do you want to go see Santa first?" Daddy asked me. I nodded.

Daddy carried me through all the people and I clapped when I saw the sign that said we were at Santa's Workshop. We had to wait behind other children but I could see Santa up ahead.

"What are you going to ask Santa for?"

"Daddy," I giggled, "I can't tell you! Then it might not come true!"

Daddy laughed, "I thought that was birthday wishes."

I bit my lip, "Is wishes and what I want different from each other? I'm wishing for my present too."

Daddy reached up and scratched his head, "No…I guess they aren't different. You wish for the things you want."

Daddy tried to ask me what Mommy and I bought for his Christmas present, but I wouldn't tell him. Mommy said that I couldn't tell him. It was a surprise. Mommy and Daddy bought all the grown ups the same present. Mommy said Aunty Rosie would be too pregnant to go, but Mommy got she and Uncle Emmett something else. Finally, it was my turn to go see Santa, so Daddy put me down and I ran up to Santa's seat. He lifted me up and sat me on his lap.

"Well now son, what is your name?

Mommy never took me to see Santa before, so I guess he didn't know who I was. Last year, Mommy let me email him from his special website.

"Edward James Cullen, Santa. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Santa laughed, "Well, Edward, you sound like you've been a good boy this year. Have you?"

I nodded my head quickly and I looked at Daddy, who was standing to the side waiting. He smiled and waved.

"Since you've been a good boy Edward, why don't you tell Santa what he can bring you this year?"

I leaned closer so I could whisper to Santa. "I want a baby brother or a baby sister."

Santa sat back and his eyes looked really big, "Oh…um…have you told your Mommy and Daddy that?"

I shook my head, "It's the only thing I want for Christmas and I wanted to ask you for it."

Santa's eyes were still really big and I heard him take a deep breath. It came out in a whoosh.

"I'll see what I can do Edward, but I think I'll need your Mommy and Daddy's help. Make sure you tell them what you want for Christmas okay? If you're a good boy, I think…I hope you'll get what you want."

I bit my lip and nodded, "Okay Santa."

"Merry Christmas Edward."

"Merry Christmas Santa."

I hopped off his lap and walked over to Daddy frowning. Daddy quickly scooped my up into his arms.

"What's wrong buddy?" Daddy said as he walked out of Santa's Workshop. He sat us on a bench by the wall.

I shook my head, "Is Santa not magic? He said he needs help."

Daddy's face scrunched up, "Why son? What did Santa say?"

When I looked up at Daddy, his face was turning red and his eyes kind of looked like they did when I first met him in Mr. Whitlock's room, and Daddy was mad at Mommy. I didn't want Daddy to be mad at Santa. Santa might not bring Daddy anything! We all hung our stockings last night!

"Don't be mad at Santa Daddy!" I cried, "It's nothing bad. Santa just said he might need you and Mommy's help."

Daddy looked surprised, but he didn't look mad anymore. "Okay…you promise? Nothing bad?"

"Nothing bad Daddy. He said he might need you and Mommy's help so I can get what I asked for."

"Okay E.J." Daddy said as he picked me up, "Should we go look for Mommy's present?"

I nodded. Daddy took us on the moving stairs and we had to go up four of them before I saw all the cooking stuff. There were a little less people up here, so Daddy put me down and held my hand as we started looking at things. Daddy was really smart. When I would ask him what something was, he knew the answer and even told me what they were for. I didn't know that bowl with all the little holes was used for spaghetti. Daddy said that's how all the hot water goes away and we get the pasta.

I didn't see anything yet that Mommy would like. Aunty Rosie said that mommies need lots of food when they are going to have a baby. If Santa got me my baby brother or sister, that meant Mommy was going to need a lot of food too. Aunty Rosie said there was a baby growing in her belly, that's why she was bigger. I think that means Mommy was going to grow a baby in her belly too. OH! Maybe that's why I need Mommy and Daddy's help! I asked Aunty Rosie if she and Uncle Emmett had asked Santa for a baby, and she laughed and said "something like that."

I tugged on Daddy's hand when I saw books with pictures of food on them. "Daddy! Can we look at the books? I think Mommy would like a cookbook!"

Daddy nodded and smiled as he led us towards the books. Mommy and Daddy both liked to cook, but Mommy was better. Some of the words were too big, so I had to ask Daddy what some of them said. It seemed like there were all kinds of cookbooks. Daddy told me there were ones from Italy, Japan, France, and Spain. Mommy always made us a lot of pasta, so I didn't think she would need an Italy book. I bit my lip, I wondered if Mommy would be sad if I chose the book I had in my hands.

"Daddy…do you think Mommy would be sad if I got her this France book?"

Daddy shook his head, "Mommy will love it because it's from you."

"Are you sure Daddy?"

Daddy nodded and he took the book from my hands, before holding my hand and walking us towards the place to pay. I was still looking around and I stopped, tugging Daddy's hand.

"Daddy! Can we get Mommy that too?"

I was pointing at the red and white apron that said, "Kiss the Cook". Daddy laughed.

"Why do you want to get that for Mommy?"

"Because," I said as Daddy let go of my hand and I picked up an apron, "You kissed Mommy and told her you loved her in the kitchen."

I giggled as Daddy's face turned red, and he smiled before he nodded and took the apron from my hands. Daddy said we were done with our shopping for the day and asked me if I wanted to do anything else. I shook my head so Daddy got us another taxi and we headed home.

Miss Alice was surprised when I ran and wrapped my arms around her waist when I saw her in the living room talking to Mommy. She giggled and she turned around, picking me up and swinging me in the air. Miss Alice was really strong for being so small.

"E.J.!" she yelled, spinning us around before falling on the couch with me in her lap, "Did you have fun with your Daddy?"

I nodded, "Me and Daddy went shopping!"

Daddy put his arms around Mommy and I watched as they whispered and headed upstairs to their room. Miss Alice listened as I told her all about the scary Mr. Aro in the place with the big glass doors, and the L&L place with the yummy chicken. I didn't tell Miss Alice about what I asked Santa for, but I told her that Santa said I would need Mommy and Daddy's help with my present. I also told her about what we got for Mommy. Miss Alice laughed.

"I'm sure you're Mommy will love it! I went with Mommy shopping today, and we got some presents for your Daddy too. AND…I got your present too."

I clapped, "Miss Alice I got you something too! Mommy helped me pick it out!"

Miss Alice and I decided to watch TV and she clapped and bounced in her seat when she found "The Nightmare Before Christmas" on. We laughed and Miss Alice knew all the words. A little while later, Mommy and Daddy came downstairs and I crawled off the couch so I could sit in Mommy's lap on the chair. Miss Alice was talking to Daddy about work.

"I missed you Mommy," I said as I hugged her.

"I missed you too baby," Mommy said as she ran her hand through my hair, "Daddy said he and I might have to help Santa with your present?"

I nodded, "That's what Santa said, and I think he's right, but he's magic right?"

Mommy bit her bottom lip, "I think it depends on what you ask Santa for."

"What did you ask Santa for E.J.?" Miss Alice said, sitting on the couch with Daddy.

I bit my lip. Santa didn't say I couldn't tell anyone else besides Mommy and Daddy.

"I asked him for a baby brother or baby sister."

_**BPOV**_

It had been almost a week since E.J. told us what he asked Santa for. Here I was fiddling with the present I bought for Edward from Victoria's Secret. Edward was at the store with Alice and today was E.J.'s last day of school. I was taking advantage of them both being out of the house and wrapping their presents. As I brushed my fingers over the red satin and lace, I wasn't sure this was a good idea anymore.

The days after E.J. dropped that little bomb on us, Edward seemed to pull away from me. He threw himself into painting and playing the piano. He still kissed me and gave me the usual touches and caresses when we were watching TV or hanging out with E.J., but when we got our rare time alone, he pulled away and didn't take advantage of it. At night he would barely even hold me. It was driving me crazy and I snapped at him after E.J. had gone to bed one night.

_Flashback_

_I sighed as I stood in the open bathroom doorway. I had just finished my nightly bedtime routine and unfortunately, I was greeted with a sight that had also become routine. Edward was already in bed, his back facing my side and his chest covered by a shirt. Something he only recently added. He said it was too cold to sleep without a shirt, even though the thermostat in the apartment kept everything at a comfortably warm temperature since it was winter. _

_I crawled over the sheets on my hands and knees and sat behind Edward. He didn't even move or seem to acknowledge my presence. _

"_Edward?" I said softly as I placed a hand on his shoulder. He grunted in response. That was all it took for me to snap. I slapped his arm and yelled his name._

"_What?" Edward shouted back, flipping over and sitting up, "Geez Bella, what was that for?"_

_Edward was rubbing his arm and this time I punched him in the same spot._

"_BELLA! What is going on?" Edward shouted, grabbing my arms._

"_How can you ask me that?" I hissed as I tried to struggle out of his grasp, "What is going on with you?" _

_Edward immediately let go of my arms and I fell back onto the pillows. I quickly rolled off despite Edward calling my name. I stood and started pacing, Edward quickly caught me in his arms._

"_Bella, talk to me. What is going on?"_

"_What is going on?" I shouted as I pushed him away, "What's going on is you haven't said a word to me about what E.J. wants for Christmas! All you've done is work and work and push me away!"_

_I could feel the tears in my eyes and I turned away, feeling his arms fall away from my body. I stumbled over to the couch we added near the piano and sat, pulling my knees up to my chest. Through my blurred vision I could see that Edward was still standing in the same spot. The sob that was building up in my chest broke through and I buried my face in my knees. I felt the couch shift I knew that Edward had sat down next to me. I pulled away when he tried to pull me closer to him, but he didn't stop and soon I found myself on his lap. _

"_Bella…oh Bella, I'm sorry…" Edward whispered, "So so sorry…" _

"_You promised Edward," I sobbed, "You promised…no more hiding…"_

_I felt Edward kiss my forehead, and his hand was under my chin, bringing my face up to look at his. His eyes were red, and I had noticed that the circles under his eyes were getting darker._

"_I'm sorry Bella," Edward sighed, his thumb rubbing over my bottom lip, "I did promise…and I broke that." _

_Edward's head dropped and his gaze fixed on the floor, "I just…I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to E.J."_

_I nodded. I hadn't known what to say either. Thank the lord for Alice. At any other time, I would've thought her story was hysterical. She quickly made up a story that Santa was friends with the Stork, who brought special food for mommies to eat so they could grow babies in their tummies. The Stork though, would only bring the food if mommies specifically contacted him and asked for it. Alice told E.J. that was why Santa needed Edward and I's help. She also told him that the Stork was very busy, so sometimes it takes a while before he can respond and bring mommies the special baby food. Then she explained to him that babies need to grow for 9 months, so it will take that much longer before a baby arrives. E.J. believed Alice, thankfully, and was happy when I agreed that I'd contact the Stork after Christmas. _

"_Bella…I…I didn't want you to think I was going to put pressure on you to have sex with me or to have a baby. I mean, I know that we…we both want to try again in the future, but I didn't want to pressure you into just having sex with me either."_

"_So you decided to pull away instead?" I said as I pushed myself off his lap and sat next to him._

_He nodded, "Bella, I was so confused. My mind was just such a jumbled mess. I just…God, Bella, I don't know what to say. It was wrong and stupid and I should've just talked to you. I'm sorry Bella…I never meant to push you away."_

"_I…I thought you didn't want me anymore…" I whispered to my lap._

"_BELLA!" Edward cried, and both his hands cupped my cheeks and pulled my face up to look at his, "I always, ALWAYS want you. Forever. I'm sorry my love…so so sorry."_

_He pressed his forehead to mine as he shook his head back and forth. "I love you my Bella…I'm sorry…"_

_I sighed, "I'm not going to say, 'it's okay' Edward…but…but thank you for talking to me." _

"_I'm sorry Bella…" Edward whispered before placing a kiss on my forehead, cheeks, and then softly pressing his lips to mine. _

_We didn't say anything else to each other. The rest of our conversation could wait. That night we fell asleep in each other's arms. I had felt so alone the past nights without Edward's arms around me, even if he was lying right next to me. I snuggled into his side a little deeper and even in his sleep Edward tightened his arms around me. I sighed. In the beginning, it felt like Edward and I would take two steps forward and get knocked back. For a while I felt like we were just moving forward. Now though, now we took a huge step back. Edward kept his shirt on._

_End flashback_

I sighed and tucked the Victoria's Secret bag in the back of my closet. I wasn't sure that it would get to see the light of day. There was still 6 days until Christmas. Edward's parents and Sue were coming on Sunday and staying for two weeks. It was a good thing that we decided to keep Edward's apartment and fix it up a bit. Carlisle, Esme, and Sue were all going to stay there instead of a hotel.

Edward was still hesitant about touching me. We hadn't done anything beyond making out. I didn't push him and he sure as hell wasn't pushing me either. I wasn't looking forward to starting all over again, but at the same time I didn't know how to approach the subject without pushing Edward. At least the shirt came off. I finished up wrapping the last of the presents and moved them downstairs to put under the tree. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Jake, Seth, Sue, and Nessie were getting the same presents from Edward and I. Rosalie would be too pregnant to make the trip, but Edward and I got she and Emmett something just as good.

E.J.'s presents were good too. Edward felt the need to make them really special this year, and they really were. I knew E.J. was going to scream. That still didn't make the sad and guilty feelings I had about giving him a baby brother or sister go away. I knew that Edward wanted to have another baby, and I really did too, but E.J. just caught us all off guard. I never would've expected him to ask for that. Only Edward, Alice, and I knew. Edward and I knew that E.J. was going to bring it up during Christmas, so we were working on making something from Santa that would satisfy E.J. and also stick to Alice's story.

Our front door opened and I smiled when I saw Edward walking in the door with E.J. over his shoulder, both of them laughing loudly. Edward gave me his crooked smile, and I felt my heart stutter. He hadn't given me that smile in days.

"No more school Mommy!" E.J. squealed from Edward's shoulders.

I couldn't help myself and wrapped my arms around Edward's waist as his lips met mine eagerly.

"HEY! No kissing in front of me!" E.J. shouted.

"You can't see," Edward mumbled.

"Daddy!" E.J. pouted.

I laughed before placing one more kiss on Edward's lips, "What should we eat for dinner tonight my boys?"

Edward put E.J. down and he quickly grabbed my hands. "Can we get Chinese food and watch a movie? Daddy needs to see the last 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie."

"Sounds good," Edward said, wrapping his arm around my waist. E.J. shouted in triumph before he ran off to his room. When Edward and I were alone he dragged me into the kitchen, and soon I found myself pressed against the refrigerator and Edward's lips devouring mine. One arm quickly wrapped around my waist and the other hand buried itself into my hair. I gasped when his tongue parted my lips and he pressed his entire body against mine. I whimpered when I felt his excitement growing. When our lips finally broke apart, we were both breathing hard.

"What was that?" I panted, "Not that I'm really complaining…but whoa…"

Edward chuckled and kissed me again before moving to nuzzle my neck. "I just missed you that's all."

"Missed me huh?" I whispered as Edward attacked my neck.

"Terribly," Edward mumbled against my collarbone.

"Edward!" I gasped, as he sucked harder on my skin, "E.J…"

Edward broke away and placed a kiss on my lip before pulling away. "Don't feel like I'm pressuring you…I just…I just missed you, having you in my arms, feeling your skin…"

I felt the blush bloom across my face.

"And I love that blush more than you know," Edward said, trailing a finger down my cheek.

"I love you Edward Cullen," I whispered, kissing his neck. We broke apart when we heard E.J. yelling for his Daddy. I made my way around the kitchen cleaning and hunting down the menu for the Chinese place Edward, Alice, and Jasper loved. I smiled when I heard tinkling of the piano coming from upstairs. E.J. was working hard on being able to play some Christmas carols for Carlisle and Esme. Edward was so great at teaching him.

My boys finally came downstairs some time later, saying their stomachs were growling. We enjoyed our food, Edward and I both trying to teach E.J. how to use chopsticks, and E.J. clapped loudly when I surprised him with his favorite ice cream, something Edward and I tended to limit. We all cuddled together on the couch, me in Edward's lap, and E.J. in mine. E.J. surprisingly made it through the entire movie, but soon passed out when it was over. Edward and I put him to sleep together, but once we were alone in our room, I found myself being attacked. In one of the best ways possible.

I awoke Christmas morning to a tickle attack from E.J. and laughed as Edward quickly tackled him to the bed. I was glad I decided to listen to Edward after our shower last night and put clothes on to sleep in. That would be great to explain to E.J. _"Well son, Mommy and Daddy both have no clothes on because…" _Good lord, I couldn't even think of a good explanation for that, other than Edward had been right.

We made out way downstairs in our pajamas. Edward had managed to find adult Superman pajamas somewhere that were pretty close to matching E.J.'s and he even found me women's sleep pants. It made me laugh as I thought of Edward shopping for these things. Everyone was coming over to our apartment to celebrate. We had already explained the "baby" incident to everyone. The reaction we were nervous about was Nessie's, but she didn't say anything and only giggled and clapped when Alice told her the story about the Stork.

The only presents we were allowed to open first were those from Santa. E.J. squealed when he opened his intricately painted and elegantly scripted note from Santa. Santa informed E.J. that he had in fact talked to the Stork, and that hopefully my request for the "special" baby food would be answered soon. I received a note from the Stork that said pretty much the same things as E.J.'s note from Santa. Edward received a note from Santa, thanking him for helping E.J. Of course, all the notes were written and decorated by Edward and myself, but no one else had to know that.

I had made several breakfast quiches and everyone was bringing over something. Sue had made her famous blueberry muffins, Jake & Seth somehow managed to make a turkey, Rosalie & Emmett had a pasta salad, Alice & Jasper had mashed potatoes and a stuffing recipe from Jasper's family down South, Angela & Ben brought grilled vegetables, and Esme & Carlisle brought an assortment of cookies.

We all ate until our stomachs were stuffed, and everyone was lounging around in their pajamas. Everyone was ecstatic about their presents, and E.J. and Nessie ran around playing with each other, Emmett, Seth, and anyone else who was willing. Rosalie's baby bump was more visible and she lifted her pajama shirt to show all the women while we congregated in the kitchen.

"You're so cute!" Alice squealed, "May I?"

Rosalie nodded and Alice traced Rosalie's bump with her fingertips. "It's so hard."

Esme, Sue, and I all chuckled. We had all been there and done that.

"What about you Alice? Angela? Will we be seeing any little Bens or Jaspers running around anytime soon?"

Angela blushed and shook her head.

"I'm going to have a girl," Alice huffed, "And Jasper better prepare himself, because I want a honeymoon baby."

I laughed, "And have you given anymore thought as to when you and Jasper are going to get married?"

Alice shook her head, "No…we're in no rush. I figure by the time we're ready to get married, we'll be ready for kids too, so why not get both done at practically the same time?"

I couldn't help but snort as I picked up one of Esme's gingerbread cookies.

"What about you and Edward, Bella? Are we expecting another mini Edward or Bella anytime soon?"

I almost choked on my cookie. Despite everyone knowing what E.J. had asked Santa for, it still came as a surprise to me every time someone mentioned it. Rosalie waited expectantly with an eyebrow raised at her question.

I bit my lip, "We've talked about it, even before E.J.'s uh, request, but um, we didn't really discuss it in detail or anything. Just that we both want to have another baby."

Esme wrapped her arm around me and kissed my temple, "Don't worry about it Bella."

I nodded and let out a soft chuckle, "I'm more than looking forward to spoiling Rosalie's baby for a little while."

That certainly didn't mean that I didn't want to practice with Edward.

We had so much food that everyone stayed into the night. I was amazed we had enough food considering Emmett, Jake, and Seth were all there. Nessie and E.J. passed out watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and soon we were all saying our "good nights" and "Merry Christmases."

Edward was tucking in E.J. while I ran up to our room. I was renewed in my decision to let Edward have this Christmas present. There was no way I could wait until Valentine's Day to bust this outfit out. I quickly grabbed the black & pink bag from my closet and hurried into the bathroom to change. I slipped on the red teddy and tightened the bow in the middle that was holding it closed. The satin felt amazing on my skin. I slipped on the matching red lacy boy shorts (that I know Edward loves) and took down my hair, fluffing out my curls a bit. I had to tie on the boy shorts too, and I had to hand it to Alice…it was very appropriate for a Christmas present.

When I opened the bathroom door, I nervously bit my lip. Edward had taken off his shirt and lying on his back on the bed, an arm thrown over his eyes.

"Bella, love, I think I gained 20 pounds today…"

His voice trailed off as his eyes found me in the doorway. I nervously bit my lip and could tell that my skin would soon match the color I was wearing.

"Bella…" I heard Edward choke out. I let my eyes find him and he was sitting up in the bed, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"Merry Christmas Edward," I whispered as I started to walk towards the bed. I heard Edward's breathing pick up as I got closer. When I climbed onto the bed and started to crawl towards him, I was certain he stopped breathing. Despite our previous naked romps in the shower, this was unlike anything we had ever done. Edward's hands trembled as he helped me settle on his lap, straddling his legs. He was definitely excited about this Christmas present.

"Bella…" Edward stuttered out, his eyes closed, and his hands gripping my hips. I brought my hands up to his cheeks and shifted on his lap. Edward let out a deep moan. I bit my lip and stifled my own.

"Edward, open your eyes," I whispered in his ear. I pulled back and met his eyes, almost black with lust. "Do you want to open your present?"

It took less than a second for Edward to crush his lips to mine, both of us moaning loud and deeply into each other's mouths. His hands slipped between the open front of the teddy and I shivered as his hands skimmed along my flesh. We shifted against each other and I moaned again, the satin feeling amazing against my bare skin. I wanted to kill Alice a couple of days ago when she took me to get waxed, but right now I could really care less. Edward was rubbing against me in all the right ways and my eyes clenched closed.

Edward's moved his lips to my jaw as he whispered my name repeatedly. One of his hands splayed across my back while the other slipped up the middle of my torso, before skimming my breasts. I gasped as Edward began to suck the juncture of my shoulder and neck and massage my breasts over the silky material. The sensations were too much and I felt the all too familiar sensations in my lower stomach.

"Edward…" I moaned, my fingers tangling into his hair.

He hummed against my skin as his mouth began to move south towards my breasts, both of his hands now pressing against my back. Edward's mouth settled over the bow that held the teddy together and he whispered my name. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't help but gasp. Edward was looking into my eyes as his tongue drew the bow into his mouth and he untied the front with his teeth. I couldn't help but moan and press myself closed to him. Edward growled and it surprised me when he quickly pushed the satiny material from my body. I was so startled from the movement and the sudden cold, my arms instinctively covered my chest.

Edward slid his hands down my arms until he twined his fingers with mine and slowly pulled my arms away.

"You're so beautiful Bella," Edward whispered as he bent his head forward and kissed my lips lightly, "Don't hide yourself from me."

Edward's lips descended down my throat and he sucked on my collarbone. He groaned and his arms pressed my hips and chest tighter against his body. I gasped as our bare chests came in contact with each other.

"Ed…Ed…Edward…" I panted, "Make love to me…please…"

"Bella," Edward moaned, pulling back and letting his hands cup my cheeks. My fingers were tangled into his hair and I was overwhelmed by the love in his eyes.

"I love you Bella…I love you more than you can imagine," Edward whispered, his thumbs gently brushing my cheeks.

"I love you Edward," I murmured, before our lips met each other.

Our lips and tongues gently massaged each other as our hands went to our hips. Edward's nimble fingers made quick work of the ties that held the panties together and I giggled against his lips as I felt him throw them in the direction of the window. He groaned as I slipped my hands under the waistline of his boxers and pajama pants. I raised up and Edward moaned as he lifted his hips and I pulled his clothes down. I gasped as I felt his impressive erection spring free and I giggled as Edward kicked his pants off the rest of the way. Our hands and lips slowed down gradually and Edward and I pulled away to look at each other.

"I love you," I whispered, as I positioned myself over him. Edward's eyes never left mine, and both our breathing hitched as his tip began to press into me. Edward's eyes began to close, but I wanted to see the green of his eyes.

"Edward, stay with me…look at me…" I whimpered as I took in more of him. Edward's eyes snapped open and our breathing was ragged as he sank all the way into me.

"Bella…" Edward panted. Our eyes locked and we both moaned as our lips came together and our bodies shifted against each other. Edward's lips moved down my throat and I pushed my chest out as he nipped against the swell of my breasts. Our hips were moving unconsciously against each other and as Edward sucked my nipple into his mouth I cried out loudly, gripping his hair tightly. I was so lost in the feel of Edward's body connected with mine, I don't think I would've been able to tell if the building went up in flames. There was nothing that could pull me from outside of this world between Edward and I.

"Mommy? Daddy?"

Except for that.

**Yeah…I left it there. Any theories on how this is going to go? Edward and Bella are trying to reconnect with each other and also trying to learn how to be parents together. Oh boy…**

**Let me know what you think. Good or bad, I want to hear it. Pretty please? (and you anonymous PM-ers, you can hate on me all you like for that semi-lemon. Just be glad it was something!)**


	25. Chapter 24: I Gotta Feeling

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Umm…don't be mad at me for last chapter please. I make up for it at the end of this one…I promise. :- ) **

**Emily, are you still out there? And you all who have been with my little story here from the beginning, enjoy. :- ) I think you've all been waiting for this just as long as I have…**

_**I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night**_

_**That tonight's gonna be a good night**_

_**That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**_

_**A feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night**_

_**That tonight's gonna be a good night**_

_**That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**_

_**Tonight's the night, let's live it up…**_

_**-Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling"**_

Chapter 24: I Gotta Feeling

_**APOV**_

"OH MY GOD!" I sat up quickly, clutching the sheet to my chest. I felt Jasper sit up immediately next to me, flipping on a lamp.

"Alice, darlin', what is it?"

I shook my head trying to rid myself of one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had. "What day is it Jazzy?"

I heard Jasper chuckle softly, "Um…well, it's about 5:12am on Christmas morning."

"I need to call Bella and Edward!" I cried, trying to tumble out of bed, but getting caught up in the sheets. I immediately felt Jasper's strong arms wrap around my waist.

"Darlin'! It's five o'clock in the morning! What is going on?"

I heard Jasper's quiet gasp as I finally freed myself from the sheets and walked across the room to my phone butt naked.

"Someone else needs to watch E.J. tonight. Bella and Edward need alone time tonight."

"Darlin'!" Jasper cried as I heard him stumble around the room putting on his boxers, "What are you talking about?"

My Jazzy was standing in front of me gripping my shoulders and looking into my eyes. I couldn't stop the giggles that escaped my lips. Jasper's eyes were scrunched up in concern and his curly blond hair was sticking up everywhere. My giggles immediately stopped when I saw how serious his face was.

"Sorry Jazzy. I…it was just this dream. It was SO real and specific. I've never had a dream like that before. Everything in the dream was real from the presents I bought for everyone down to the red lingerie set I helped Bella pick out from Victoria's Secret."

"Okay…" Jazzy drew out, his Southern drawl coming out a little more in his tired daze.

"You're sure today is Christmas? I wasn't dreaming about something that already happened?"

"I'm positive darlin'. What happened in this dream other than a peek at our possible presents?"

More than a peek at our presents, I thought to myself, trying to shake the images of Edward and Bella out of my head. Geez…I swear, everyone knows you lock the door to your room when there's a child around. At least that hasn't happened yet. Maybe I can just convince Esme and Carlisle to take E.J. tonight. I'm sure Esme would understand. I didn't want the poor boy to be scarred for life. I shivered when I thought about it.

"Darlin', you're driving me crazy! What are you thinking about?"

"Well, I dreamt it was Christmas and we were all over at Bella's house. Everything was so specific. All the food, we were all in our pajamas. Bella and Edward bought us all a trip to Hawaii for Spring Break as a present. E.J. got me a little 'Nightmare Before Christmas' mug and he got you a Texas Rangers shirt. God, but then after I left the kitchen it was like I was watching a movie!"

Jasper's eyes widened as he listened. My Jazzy never judged my crazy dreams. I joked sometimes that I was psychic, but there were some things that I had dreamt about that ended up coming true. Before this crazy dream, I had dreamt Rosalie and Emmett were going to have a son…but then I dreamt that the Mariners were going to win the World Series this year…and we all know that didn't happen. I never told anyone this…but after Edward painted that picture of "Bella", I dreamt that he was going to find her again at Jasper's school. I shook my head.

"I saw us leaving but then my dream stayed with Edward, Bella, and E.J. It was like a movie. I saw Edward and Bella tucking in E.J. and then lord, I wish I didn't see the rest."

"Why…" Jasper drew out, in a tone I knew he used when he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"I saw Edward and Bella having sex and then E.J. walked in the door and saw them!" I quickly rushed out.

Jasper's eyes went wide and his mouth hung open.

"That was when I woke up," I whispered.

When I looked up at Jasper his eyes had scrunched up and his mouth closed. "Darlin', can you put something on before we go talk about this?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking down before I giggled, "Oh! Okay, sorry baby."

I quickly grabbed Jasper's button down from last night and slipped it on. I couldn't help but create a potential outfit in my mind as I walked back to the bed where Jasper waited. If I added tights under his shirt and my boots…I shook my head when I saw Jasper giving me the look that told me I was lost in my "zone". I crawled over before sitting on my knees in front of Jasper.

"Darlin', you know I never question your dreams, but what has you thinking that this one will come true more than any of the others you've had?"

"Because it was so real Jazz! I've never had a dream like this before! We were even wearing those pajamas!" I cried, pointing to the pink and black, for Jasper, pajama sets that lay on top of the dresser.

Jasper's eyes locked with mine. I could tell he was questioning everything I was saying with that stare. I just stared back, telling him I was right. I was not about to let Bella and Edward's night be disrupted. I would volunteer to watch E.J. if no one else did.

"Okay…" Jasper finally drawled out, "So should I be preparing to tell the school that I'm going to Hawaii for Spring Break?"

I nodded, "Jazz, I know I've been wrong before, but I've never felt so right before. I'm telling you, Bella, Edward, and E.J. are even going to be all matching in Superman pajamas."

Jasper finally let out a soft laugh, "Okay Darlin'…if I get a Texas Rangers shirt from E.J., then I will undoubtedly believe you. And if we have to, I'll ask for E.J. to spend the night here."

My eyes widened, "I love that you always know what I'm feeling."

"Do I now?" Jasper said, wrapping an arm around me, eyebrow raised.

"Do you know what I'm feeling right now?"

Jasper laughed as I snuggled into his side, "I think you're feelin' sleepy Darlin'."

I closed my eyes and nodded against his chest, "You're a good man Jasper Whitlock."

Jasper chuckled softly before whispering, "Merry Christmas Alice Brandon."

A couple more hours of sleep plus a more than steamy shower for two later, Jasper and I were clad in our pajamas and coats, with his secret family recipe stuffing and mashed potatoes, and riding the elevator up to Bella & Edward's apartment. Jasper and I must've been the last to arrive because I could hear screams and laughs of excitement from behind the door.

What was probably less than half a second after I knocked, the door was flung open by E.J., clad in Superman pajamas.

"Miss Alice! Mr. Whitlock!" E.J. squealed, rushing forward to hug me.

"Merry Christmas E.J.!" I exclaimed back as I picked him up and swung him around. E.J.'s laughter through the air was perfect for a Christmas morning. I smiled when I saw everyone sitting and standing around in Bella's living room. The only people I didn't see were Bella, Esme, and Rosalie. Edward chuckled as he came up and wished Jasper and I a Merry Christmas before detaching E.J. from my arms. I gave Jasper a pointed stare when I saw Edward in Superman pajamas as well. He shrugged before going back to talking to Emmett and Carlisle.

I skipped off the kitchen after giving a hug to Nessie. Her pink Disney Princess pajamas were adorable. When I entered the kitchen, I of course found Rosalie already munching on something and Bella and Esme working on setting up all the food.

"Merry Christmas ladies," I smiled as I pranced into the kitchen, stealing an olive out of the pasta salad. I wanted to scream with Jasper. Bella was wearing Superman pajamas that were matching Edward and E.J.'s.

"Merry Christmas Alice," Bella smiled, plating up some of her quiche.

"I present Jasper's family's secret stuffing and mashed potatoes," I smiled, placing the dishes on the counter.

"Ooh…" Rosalie purred, licking her lips, "I've been craving mashed potatoes. I'm going to go round up everyone to eat."

We all chuckled as Rosalie left the kitchen and could hear her yelling to round everyone up because she was starving. Her appetite had grown exponentially it seemed every day.

I was left setting up with Esme and Bella. I didn't want to wait to find out that our Christmas presents from Bella and Edward were a trip to Hawaii. I wanted to set my plan in motion now.

"So Bella, did you tell Esme what you and Edward have planned tonight?"

All of the color left Bella's face and she was frozen with a plate of cookies in her hands. I knew that she knew exactly what I was talking about.

Esme didn't have a clue, "Do you and Edward have something special planned Bella?"

Bella turned so red that she could have rivaled Rudolph's nose. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh yes Esme. I helped Bella pick out something very nice for Edward from Victoria-"

"ALICE!" Bella cried, her face so red I was positive she was purple.

"Oh Bella," Esme said as she came and wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulder, "There's no need to be embarrassed. I understand more than you think."

Bella's mouth fell open in shock before she quickly snapped it shut and started mumbling.

"Bella, I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner, but Jasper and I can watch E.J. tonight so you and Edward can celebrate."

If it was possible Bella turned even redder. "I…um…can Jasper do that?"

"Oh nonsense!" Esme said, wiping her hands on a towel, "Carlisle and I will take him. I would love to spend some extended time with my grandson. Plus, you young kids all need some time alone. If I'm not mistaken, Nessie is staying with us too, so it'll be fine."

"Oh…I…" Bella stuttered out.

"Geezus Bella, weren't you just telling me the other day that you were dangerously close to jumping Edward's bones?" I rolled my eyes.

"ALICE!" Bella cried again, stomping her foot on the floor.

"Oh Bella," Esme laughed, "It's not like you and Edward haven't had sex before that I'm unaware of. Obviously, E.J. is here."

It was going to take all day for the blush on Bella's cheeks to fade. Slowly but surely she nodded.

"Okay. I'll pack E.J. a bag after lunch. I'll tell Edward."

"Tell me what love?" Edward asked as he strolled into the kitchen with E.J. on his shoulders.

"E.J. is going to spend the night with us!" Esme smiled, setting the last of the plates out, "So is Nessie."

"Really?" E.J. cried, clapping his hands, "Oh thank you Grandma Esme!"

I couldn't help but notice the questioning smirk on Edward's face as he looked at Bella. She in turn blushed and bit her lip, turning her attention to the counter.

"Well, I'm starving," I clapped my hands, "Let's eat before Rosalie rips someone's head off."

Bella and Edward's dining room table wasn't big enough for all of us, so we were all spread out throughout the apartment. I was sitting with Emmett, Nessie, E.J., and Seth on the ground in front of the TV. As Jake put it, the "kids" were all sitting together. Rosalie, Sue, and Esme were sitting on the couch talking happily about her pregnancy. Angela, Ben, Jake, Carlisle, and Jasper were sitting at the dining room table chatting away about the education system. Edward was sitting on the love seat with Bella perched on his lap. They were in their own little world whispering softly to each other and feeding each other. I was so happy to see them together. I had never seen Edward look so alive and so happy than I had in the past few months.

"Present time!" E.J. and Nessie shouted in unison. I couldn't help but smile as we all moved to gather around the tree. Bella, Edward, and E.J. had done an exceptional decorating job on their place. Their tree was easily 10 feet high and gorgeously decorated. It looked like Edward had hand painted some new ornaments with all of our names. There were numerous garlands and tinsel hanging from the banisters and it actually gave me a warm feeling inside. This was what Christmas was all about, spending time with the people you held dearest in your life.

We all sat around the tree as Nessie and E.J. ran around and handed out the presents. I laughed when E.J. put a Santa hat on Emmett's head. Just like I told Jasper, E.J. had given him a Texas Rangers t-shirt and gave me a "Nightmare Before Christmas" coffee mug. The last present we were all waiting to open, per their request, was Edward and Bella's. I couldn't help but bounce in excitement even though I knew I had to be right about what it was. We were all given intricately decorated (by Edward) envelopes. I knew I had to be right to its contents. Before we opened them, Edward spoke.

"Now, before you all open you presents from Bella and I, we want you to all know that we feel so blessed to have you all in our lives. You have all been so supportive and Bella and I might never have found each other again without all of you. We love you all and feel you deserve this."

I smiled when I saw tears in Rosalie's eyes. She was getting very hormonal these days. Even Esme and Sue looked like they were going to cry.

"Now, Rosalie and Emmett, we had to alter your gift a bit, but we know you will still have a fantastic time."

"Can we open them now?" Emmett asked, looking like the all too eager little boy that E.J. was.

Edward and Bella nodded. I watched as everyone tore into their envelopes, Jasper included, and I rolled my eyes. Did he not believe me? I knew I was right when I heard Seth let out a loud whoop.

"We're going to Hawaii!"

"Oh Bella and Edward!" Rosalie sniffled, "The Hamptons?"

I watched as Bella and Edward nodded. We all knew that Rosalie always wanted to go. Plus she would be on her leave from her firm by then. It was the perfect gift.

"Oh honey, Bella…this is too much," Esme cried.

Sue nodded in agreement, "Bella, Edward, really…"

Bella blushed and shook her head, "Nonsense. Edward and I both really wanted to do this for all of you. We've put you al through so much and you've been by our sides the whole way. You deserve this."

I gave Jasper a knowing glance and he nodded and smiled, finally believing me. During Spring Break next year, we were all spending a week in Hawaii. I, along with everyone else, gave Edward and Bella hugs. There was so much food left over, surprisingly, that we all stayed for dinner. Emmett, Seth, and Jake were running around playing with Nessie and E.J. and we all enjoyed watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on TV.

Nessie and E.J. passed out on the floor in front of the TV and Bella stood from her spot on Edward's lap.

"I better go back his bag."

"Do you want me to help you love?" Edward asked, getting ready to stand.

"I'll help her," I grinned, standing and linking my arms with Bella's.

Bella gave me a skeptical look but led the way to E.J.'s room. Just by looking at his room, you could tell that Bella was a great mother. E.J. had everything that a 5-year-old boy could ever want, but he was still such a gentleman. Having Edward in his life just added even more. I couldn't help but smile when I saw a picture of Edward, Bella, and E.J. from last week in a photo frame next to E.J.'s bed. Thank the lord for digital photography.

"So Bella, are you all prepared to give Edward his other gift?" I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

Bella dropped the bag she was packing on the bed and glared at me, "I KNEW you had a hidden agenda!"

"Are you seriously going to complain to me about FINALLY getting some time alone so that you can FINALLY have sex with Edward?"

Bella blushed so red I was certain it would take hours for it to fade. She stuttered and bit her lip and tried to form a sentence but I could tell she was only turning redder.

"Bella, relax!" I cried playfully, moving to wrap my arm around her, "I mean, hello, I picked out the lingerie for you! It's not like I didn't know what you had planned. I just wanted to make sure you and Edward had some complete alone time. You guys deserve it for your first time. Oh…well…not your first time but you know…"

I tried to smile as best I could as Bella glared at me. I was sure she wasn't mad at me, but I was trying to just smile and not laugh at her "glare". She seriously looked about as menacing as a little kitten with its claws out. I had dealt with scarier women on Black Friday. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I burst out laughing. Thankfully, so did Bella.

"I'm…sorry…Alice…" Bella panted out between laughs.

"It's okay Bella," I managed, my breathing returning to normal, "I just really want you and Edward to be happy…and don't lie to me and say that you were happy as you were. You guys deserve to be together in every way."

"Thank you Alice," Bella said softly. Her face switched quickly and I saw her panic, "Do you think Edward knows? I mean, about the lingerie and stuff?"

I couldn't help but laugh, "Bella, I'm pretty sure he is thinking it is a strong possibility. Edward is a man. He might act like a gentleman, but inside that brain of his, he's just like every other male. Are you on the pill? Do you guys have protection? I mean, or not…unless you're planning for another mini Edward or Bella…"

"NO!" Bella yelled, before quickly biting her lip and looking at the floor, "I mean, uh…I'm not on the pill anymore. I have um…some condoms and stuff…"

"Oh Bella," I sighed, trying to be as serious as possible. I couldn't believe she was embarrassed about this stuff…but I had to remember that no matter how in love Edward and Bella looked on the outside, there was still 6 years of separation to work on. "I just want to make sure you and Edward have a perfect night. I know how much this means to Edward…to both of you."

What Bella didn't know is that Edward had confided quite a bit in me at work. I knew he wanted to make love to Bella…he wanted it BADLY. I wasn't surprised that he came to me for advice instead of Jasper either. He sure as hell wasn't going to ask Emmett. Asking Emmett was like asking Bella's dad to Edward. I told Edward not to worry about it. I didn't hint at the fact that Bella had indeed planned something for him for Christmas, but I told him it would happen soon. The whole baby fiasco with E.J. didn't help Edward either. Edward had told me he didn't want to push Bella to take the next step with him because he didn't want her to think he wanted to have sex because E.J. wanted a baby. Edward also told me that he really wanted to have another baby with Bella too. Like always, my dear friend was over thinking everything. I totally punched him in the chest when he told me how he had made Bella feel like he was pushing her away. Thank the lord they talked that shit out because I was ready to pounce on him and pummel him for hurting her instead of talking to her.

"Thank you Alice," Bella whispered, swiping at her eyes, "I don't know what Edward would've done without you all these years."

I smiled and hugged Bella, "I always knew you would find each other again. You two have a very Merry Christmas tonight."

Bella smiled, "Thank you Alice."

"Enough talking! Let's get this show on the road!"

_**EPOV**_

I had E.J. in my arms all wrapped up in his coat while my mother and father hugged Bella goodbye. Everyone had already left for the evening and Sue and Nessie were waiting in the hallway.

"Are you sure Grandpa Carlisle can tell good bedtimes stories Daddy?" E.J. asked, his voice and face completely serious. I couldn't help but smile.

"He can tell some of the best. Where do you think I learned the one about the knight who fights the dragons to save the city?"

"Grandpa Carlisle told you that one?" E.J.'s eyes were wide as he gapped at me. I couldn't help but chuckle. E.J. and I read books or listened to stories every night. My father always told me stories when I was a child.

"What did I tell your father?" Carlisle asked as he came up and clapped me on the shoulder.

"The story about the knight and the dragons!" E.J. squealed, bouncing in my arms.

"Ah…yes," My father nodded, "that was your daddy's favorite as a boy too. He was very imaginative."

I smiled. The first pictures I had painted after learning how had been of dragons and what I had imagined when I was a child. Some were very imaginative and creative, others were a little more traditional.

"Really? Can you tell me that one tonight before bed?" E.J. practically begged.

"Of course!" My father exclaimed, holding his arms open. E.J. laughed and kissed me on the cheek before saying "Merry Christmas Daddy!" and clambering into my father's arms. My father chuckled as E.J. started talking about the dragons.

"Merry Christmas Edward," My father smiled, "We'll see you and Bella tomorrow night."

I couldn't help but smile as I watched E.J. and my father say goodbye to Bella. Bella was absolutely glowing as she said goodbye to E.J., smiling and kissing him on the cheek. When she had come back from packing E.J.'s bag with Alice, I couldn't help but notice how red her face was. I knew she blushed easily, but I couldn't help but let my mind start to wander through the possibilities. I also knew that Alice was very tricky. I didn't doubt that she had something planned with Bella. She had to have had a hand in the decision to have E.J. spend the night with my parents so Bella and I could be alone. That alone made my mind run even wilder with possibilities. Was tonight the night? I didn't get to my panicking stage because I was interrupted by my mother.

"He looks exactly like you did when you were a child. You might've been blind, but your eyes lit up the same way when your father declared it was story time."

I smiled down at my mother and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest.

"I'm so happy Edward," she whispered.

I rested my chin on the top of her head, "Why Mom?"

When she pulled back to look up at me, I was surprised to see tears in her eyes, "Because the whole family is finally together Edward. This is how it always should have been. This is how it will always be."

I couldn't help but feel guilty. I could've come home these past couple of years. It just hurt too much to even think about being in Forks. I had hurt my parents, yet here my mother was telling me how happy she was.

"Mom, I-"

She quickly cut me off and covered my mouth with her hand. "Don't Edward. It's in the past. There's nothing we can do to change that."

I nodded from underneath her hand.

"I am so happy for you Edward. Your father and I both are. No one deserves this more than you and Bella do. This Christmas has been perfect Edward, and there are many more to come."

I couldn't help but smile at my mother. She must have felt it under her hand as she smiled and pulled her hand away.

"Thank you Mom," I whispered, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," She smiled and cupped my cheek, "My baby boy."

I couldn't help but blush a little as I heard Bella chuckle and come to stand on my other side. My mother smiled and thanked Bella again for having them all over before she headed out and closed the door. Bella locked the door and set the alarm before she came and wrapped her arms around me, burying her head in my chest. I heard her inhale deeply and I sighed as I rested my head on top of hers.

"Is there anything else to clean up down here?" I asked as I softly stroked her hair.

"No," Bella replied softly, "All the food either got eaten or taken home by others and the dishes are all done."

I smiled and nodded, my mind beginning to run away with its self now. "Shall we head upstairs then?"

Bella nodded and turned, lacing her fingers through mine and leading us up to our room. My body felt quite full, and it really felt like I gained 20 pounds today. I think I almost ate as much as Emmett today. Bella stood at the edge our bed unbuttoning the pajama shirt she had on. I threw my own shirt off and over my head before I flopped down on the bed rather dramatically. I threw my arm over my eyes, trying to keep my body from reacting to the scenarios that were popping up in my mind. There was no denying that I really, REALLY wanted to make love to Bella, and tonight was a golden opportunity. E.J. was out of the house until tomorrow night, but I didn't know how to bring it up to Bella. I had talked to Alice about my fears, and Bella, but it didn't lessen my doubts any. I didn't want her to think I wanted to have sex because I wanted another baby and apparently so did E.J. For crap's sake we didn't even talk about birth control and shit. I had no idea if Bella was on the pill anymore and I certainly didn't have any condoms around.

I groaned when I heard Bella in the bathroom. She hadn't said a word since we had come into the room. I could hear the water running and knew she was going through her nightly routine. That sort of dashed my wild thoughts of a passionate night with Bella. She was probably tired. She had been up early and been busy cooking all day. I sighed and started to think of anything that could will away the uncomfortable bulge in my pants. Even in these pajama pants, it was far too tight and painful. After some time I heard the door open and I groaned.

"Bella love, I think I gained like, 20 pounds today…"

When I finally moved my arm to look at her, I think my heart froze in my chest. I'm pretty sure my mouth was gapping open and my eyes pretty much bugged out of my head. Never in a million years did I think that Bella would ever do something like this. I had fantasized about it, sure, but never did I think she would actually do it. Her name was the only word I was able to choke out as I sat up and just stared.

She was biting her bottom lip and looking at me, blushing beautifully. That action alone was enough to make my erection rock hard. The lingerie she was wearing was red and lacy and that's about all my mind could comprehend.

"Merry Christmas Edward…" She whispered as she started to walk slowly towards me. My breathing hitched as I watched the fabric of the teddy she was wearing fall open, revealing her smooth stomach to me. My breathing hitched when I realized that the simple ribbon that lay between her glorious breasts was what was holding it together. I could feel my breathing turning uneven and nearly stopping as she started to crawl toward me on the bed. I couldn't form any words as all the blood seemed to rush towards the rather prominent tent I was pitching in my shorts.

My brain finally had enough blood flow to register the fact that she was going to straddle my lap and my shaking hands came to her hips and helped her settle. She pressed straight down against my raging hard on and my breath faltered.

"Bella…" I stuttered out, clenching my eyes shut. Even the slightest movement felt like the greatest pleasure. My hands gripped her hips tighter and when she shifted against me and I felt her tiny hands on my cheeks, I moaned loudly.

"Edward, open your eyes," Bella whispered in my ear. When I opened them to look at her, her deep brown eyes were glazed over with lust. "Don't you want to open your present?"

As soon as she said those words, it was like something inside of me snapped. I crushed my lips to hers and thrust my tongue into her parted lips, both of us moaning loud and deep. I let my hands begin to wander the warm flesh of her stomach as I parted the open front of the teddy she was wearing. She shifted against me, and the bare skin of my chest registered that the teddy was made of satin as well. Not going to lie, it felt amazing brushing against my bare skin combined the heat coming from her body.

My lips took on a mind of their own as one of my hands moved to support her back and the other began to creep up the middle of her chest. My lips moved to nip along her jaw and towards her ear as I began to whisper, "Bella", over and over again. Bella's hands were gripping my bare shoulders and her tiny hands felt amazing as the pressed into my muscles. I moved to suck on her neck as my hands began to massage her breasts through her top. I moaned against her neck. There were no breasts in this world that were more perfect than Bella's.

"Edward…" she moaned as her fingers buried themselves in my hair. All the sensations of her body wrapped around mine were amazing. I moaned against her skin as I pushed back against her, both of my hands moving to her back to support her. When the bow that held the top together was before my eyes I whispered, "Bella", before taking the ribbon between my teeth and tugging. I looked up as I tugged, seeing that Bella was looking down at me and panting, pressing her chest closer towards my mouth.

The fact that her body responded so eagerly brought forth a primal sounding growl from my throat and I quickly pushed the material off her body and flung it to the side. The action must've startled my Bella, and it snapped me back to reality a bit as she gasped and quickly brought up her arms to hide her perfect breasts that spilled forth. Her blush had extended to the tops of her breasts that peaked up over her arms at me.

Slowly I slid my hands up her arms, keeping my eyes on hers the entire time. When I met her hands I twined our fingers together and slowly brought her hands down, letting them fall to our sides. I held back a moan. Her breasts were beyond perfection. They were the perfect mounds that filled my hands like they were made just for me to hold. Her rosy nipples were hard and I wanted to taste them so badly. I couldn't help but stare. I would never get used to the sight of her body. It was perfect.

"You're so beautiful my Bella," I whispered as I bent my head and softly brushed her lips, "Don't hide yourself from me. I want to see all of you."

I pressed my lips to hers again, before wrapping my arms around her waist and letting my lips explore her neck and collarbones. I groaned, and heard her gasp, when our bare chests pressed against each other. I could feel her hard nipples pressed against me and it made my erection throb.

Bella's hands gripped my hips as she panted, "Ed…Ed…Edward…make love to me…please…"

"Bella..." I moaned as I pulled back and brought my hands up to cup her cheeks. I had to let her know how much I loved her. I had to let her know that this step we were taking meant the world to me. I wasn't sure if she even knew just how much of an emotional effect this was having on me. Just the thought of being able to see her while we made love was almost enough to make me come. I hoped that my eyes would help convey to her all the love and adoration I had for her.

"I love you Bella…more than you can imagine," I whispered as I let my thumb stroke her cheeks.

"I love you Edward…" she murmured right before she pressed our lips together.

Our tongues gently danced together as our hands seemed to know exactly what to do. I was ecstatic to find that her panties also tied together and bit back a groan as I began to frantically untie them. It was exactly like unwrapping a present. I may have been a little overzealous as I ripped them away and threw them in the direction of the window. Bella giggled against my lips and I let loose the groan I held back as I felt Bella's small hands dip under the waistline of my pajama pants and boxers and tug. I complied, barely letting my lips leave hers as we both lifted up and Bella carefully pulled my bottoms off and over my hard as steel erection that sprung free. I heard her gasp and then begin to giggle as I hastily kicked my bottoms off the rest of the way. Our hands and kisses gradually began to slow down as we finally pulled away to look at each other.

"I love you," Bella whispered again as her hands slowly pushed me back so I lay down on the pillows. She crawled off me slowly and I furrowed my brows.

"Where are you going?"

Bella blushed as she reached into the drawers at the side of the bed. My eyes went wide as she produced a small foil packet.

"I…um…well, I stopped taking the pill after E.J. was born. I…I didn't see the need anymore. We can uh, talk more about other methods after the holidays. I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor in time."

I smiled and I slowly reached for Bella's hand and pulled her back towards me. "It's fine baby."

She gave me a small smile and leaned forward to kiss my lips softly before she brought the packet up to her lips and took the condom out. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips when I felt her hands on me and rolled the rubber over my length. Bella slowly moved to reposition herself over me and I moaned softly when I felt how wet she was on my thighs.

"I love you," Bella whispered as she positioned herself over me. I kept my eyes on hers as she slowly began to press herself down on me. I heard both of our breathing hitch as my tip began to press into her. It wasn't exactly how I remembered it, as there was now the thin sheet of latex that came between us, but the overall sensations were more overwhelmingly pleasurable than I could've ever imagined. My eyes rolled back and closed. I was barely even in her, and already the feelings were so intense. She was still so tight and I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"Edward, stay with me…look at me…" Bella panted as she slid further down. My eyes snapped open and found hers in an instant. Her mouth was in an "O" and I could tell she was also fighting back a moan. Her hands pressed harder against my chest and my hands gripped her hips tightly as she sunk all the way down. We stayed still for a few moments as we both reveled in the feel of each other again. She was still so tight and the grip around me was intense.

"I want you to watch Edward," Bella whispered, as she slowly raised up and began to move, "Just watch baby…"

"Bella…" I moaned as she began to move.

She was so wet, I had no problem moving in and out of her tight little body. My hands stayed on her hips as my eyes raked over her form. She was perfect. The way she looked and felt was absolute perfection. You couldn't even tell she had given life to our son. Her hands moved to grip my forearms as she began to move faster. Her mouth opened wider and she began to moan and whimper my name softly. I was completely captivated by the movement of her breasts as they bounced with her movement. Seeing my gaze, Bella took my hand and brought it up to her breast. I instantly began to massage and rub the perfect mound. Bella cried out as she began to ride me harder. I felt the familiar tightening in my stomach.

"Bella…baby…I'm close…" I managed to pant out between moans.

"Oh God…Edward…me too…Oh God…" Bella cried out, her pace beginning to turn frantic.

"Fuck…oh Bella…baby…Bella…"

Our moans for each other echoed in the room and mixed with the heavy squeaking of our bedsprings. I continued my cries for Bella as the pressure began to build. I almost lost it as I let my eyes drift to where we connected in the most primal of ways. I could feel myself throbbing as I watched, mesmerized, as I disappeared inside of her. I was apparently an unobservant shit and just now noticed Bella was completely bare. I let out another moan as I felt my body telling me how dangerously close to the end I was.

Bella was constantly crying out and moaning as her pace was frantic and desperate. She ground against me hard and I could feel her tightening around me. I brought my hand to the all too familiar swollen bundle of nerves. Bella lost all control then and cried out. I let my hips thrust up as her orgasm ripped through her and she screamed my name loudly. I continued to rub her as she cried out and all it took was three more thrusts before I felt the most intense orgasm of my life explode through me and I slammed our bodies together, burying myself as deep as I could within her.

My hands could barely hold on to Bella's exhausted body as she slumped over, breathing hard. I rolled us to the side, still staying connected with her. My entire body was sensitive to every touch and every one of her movements. I could still feel her inner walls pulsing slightly around me as we both came down. Both of us were breathing heavily and I felt her softly drag her arms up and down my chest. I let my hands caress the sweaty skin of her back and placed a kiss on her forehead. Our chests were heaving against each other and our legs were tangled together in a mess of sheets.

When our breathing finally began to regulate and I felt myself softening, I slowly withdrew from her body and rolled onto my back, slipping the condom off and tossing into the small trash can near the bed. Bella whimpered at the loss of our connection, but quickly followed and snuggled into my side. Her fingers slowly traced patterns along the indents of my abs and I ran my fingers through her hair. I was a little amazed that my apparently insatiable cock was starting to harden again just from her soft touch.

I kissed her hair and whispered, "That was the best Christmas present ever, love."

Bella laughed softly and her breath tickled the hair on my chest. "I figured you would like it."

She squealed as I rolled her over onto her back and pinned her chest with my own.

"Like it?" I asked, my gaze incredulous, "Baby, that was fucking amazing! YOU are amazing! I loved it!"

Bella laughed, "You really must've! I've never heard you swear so much!"

I could feel my cheeks heat at her observation. I must've really just lost myself to the feelings and let go. I reached up and cupped her cheek gently. She smiled and turned her chin, placing a kiss into my palm. That did it. I was completely hard all over again.

"Isabella," I started, my voice rough from our activity, "I love you baby. Thank you. It truly was the best Christmas present ever."

Her smile was huge and I saw her eyes get that glassy look. "I love you too Edward. Merry Christmas."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. As I did, my fresh hard on pressed against her thigh and Bella gasped loudly.

"Already?" She whispered, her eyes wide in awe.

I couldn't help but smirk and be a little proud of that fact. "Baby…we have a lot of time to make up for. We've got ages from 18-25 to cover here. I guess my body still reacts like an 18 year old."

Bella laughed before she stretched up and pressed her lips to mine before pulling back to nip at my Adam's apple. "I guess we better take advantage of that then. Tonight's gonna be a good night."

I couldn't help but grin and move my body to fit between her legs. There was nothing better than making love to Bella in the world. I'm pretty sure that even Heaven paled in comparison to making love to Bella. Her breathy cries and whimpers of my name…her loud moans and screams of pleasure…the way her mouth hangs open as she comes and her breasts bounce from our movements…there was nothing better in this life.

I really lost count of how many times we made love. I guess I could always consult the condom box since we had used every single one in there. We did shower at one point…but that turned out to be a complete waste of time once we got out. By the time Bella and I were finally too tired to move, there was a soft hint of grey morning light beginning to peak over the buildings. I stayed awake for a few moments longer after I heard Bella's breathing even out. She was so beautiful in the soft light. It was like her skin was even more radiant and her hair more silky. She was radiant. She sighed softly in her sleep and she pressed her little body against mine. I pulled her in tightly to my chest before closing my eyes and whispering my love for her. A good night, indeed. Best. Christmas. EVER.

**Well? Yes? No? I hope you all made it here. Honestly, please don't be mad about the APOV and the "dream" that the end of last chapter turned out to be. I needed something fun to write and this was it. (If you read my other story, you know I'm not in a particularly "happy" writing place).**

**How was Bella and Edward's "second" first time? I hope you all enjoyed that. They finally had sex! :- ) **

**I think there's 9 more chapters or so left. Don't worry, its not all unicorns and rainbows after this. There is still some drama to be had. Thank you for reading and sticking with me. Let me know what you think, good or bad, I want to hear it. Pretty please? :- )**


	26. Chapter 25: I Don't Want to Miss A Thing

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: SURPRISE! Pretty quick huh? Thank you just for reading my story. It might seem like things are going to be all rainbows and sunshine, but I guarantee it won't be, and there are quite a few developments in this filler chapter. **

**To the two Lolas: Why hello. :- ) Thank you for your reviews. I love to hear from first time reviewers. I'm glad you girls are liking my little story here.**

**To ajenc: I promise…this is not going to become one of **_**those**_** stories. :-P **

**Ummmm…lemony goodness…but don't expect it from me again for a while. Do enjoy. **

_**I could stay awake just to hear you breathing**_

_**Watch you smile while you are sleeping**_

_**While you're far away and dreaming**_

_**I could spend my life in this sweet surrender**_

_**Want to stay lost in this moment forever**_

_**Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure**_

_**I don't want to close my eyes**_

_**I don't want to fall asleep **_

_**Cuz I'd miss you babe,**_

_**And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**Even when I dream of you**_

_**The sweetest dream will never do**_

_**I'd still miss you babe**_

_**And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**-Aerosmith, "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing"**_

Chapter 25: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

_**BPOV**_

I awoke and frowned instantly. I couldn't feel Edward's warmth behind me and when I rolled over, I noticed that the bed was empty. The light in the bathroom was off, and I was confused as to where he was. Slowly I got out of bed and searched out my nightgown and panties that he had thrown somewhere during the course of the night. I slipped a robe on and crept out into the hall. I noticed the light on the stairs was on, so I headed down. The kitchen and living room were dark.

As I was heading to check Edward's painting room, I paused at E.J.'s open door. I peeked inside and had to bite my lip to keep from saying anything. Edward was lying on the bed, one arm resting behind his head and the other around E.J., absentmindedly stroking his hair. E.J. was snuggled tightly into Edward's side. I walked in and Edward's head snapped up when he heard me. I smiled and he smiled in return as I slowly climbed in on Edward's other side and snuggled in next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I was wondering where you went," I whispered, as I too ran a hand through E.J.'s hair.

"I couldn't sleep," Edward shrugged, "Sometimes…sometimes I feel like things are too good to be true and I stay up to watch you sleep. Sometimes I come down here and watch E.J. sleep simply because I can't believe he's ours."

I smiled and moved my hand to let it run across Edward's chest. He let out an almost purr and I giggled softly.

"I could spend my life like this forever," I whispered, as E.J. mumbled and smiled in his sleep.

"Me too, love. Me too," Edward sighed, "I can't believe he's going to be 6 years old."

"Me either," I sighed, "I'm sorry I kept you from this."

"Bella…" Edward practically growled at me. We had been through this discussion many times. E.J.'s birthday was making me feel so guilty for keeping Edward and E.J. apart for so long

"I know…" I whispered, "I…"

"All that matters is that we're together now," Edward whispered before pressing his lips to my forehead. I nodded and Edward pulled me closer. We were in a good place now, but I still felt some guilt for the past few years. It was like he said, sometimes this all felt too good to be true. In that moment, he didn't feel close enough to me. I needed to feel more of him, I needed to know that he was here with me. It was silly, but I still needed to feel the connection with him.

"Let's go upstairs," I whispered, sitting up. Edward looked at me questioningly.

"Please," I whispered, "I need to feel you."

I saw the fire burn in Edward's eyes as he slowly extracted himself from E.J.'s grip and placed a kiss on his forehead. He had me wrapped up in his arms in an instant and closed E.J.'s door before rushing us upstairs. He laid me on the bed and let his full weight press into me.

"I'm here Bella…I'll always be here," He murmured against my lips.

"Show me…"

* * *

"Edward! Those are so big!" I cried, as I watched him slip E.J.'s birthday presents to the table.

He chuckled, "I'm making up for 6 birthdays that I missed and may I remind you, that these are also the presents you bought for him as well."

I blushed and bit my lip. Today was E.J.'s 6th birthday party…it was also the first Valentine's Day Edward and I would be sharing together in 7 years. Edward's parents flew in for the occasion and we were inviting everyone over to our home for E.J.'s party. E.J. was having Nessie, Kate, and Garrett come over, and since it was still cold enough, we were taking them ice skating in Central Park, before having everyone come back for a dinner made up of all of E.J.'s favorites.

I moved to his side and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning against his chest as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I sighed contentedly as he pressed a kiss into my hair. So far, this year has been amazing. E.J., Edward, and I were finally like a real family, our bond so strong now, it was as if we were never apart in the first place.

Our daily routines were comfortable. E.J. woke up in the mornings, Edward helped him get ready for the day while I made breakfast, and together we all walked to E.J.'s school. Edward went to the store every day (he didn't feel comfortable letting Alice manage by herself, in case something bad happened) and I wrote. I was working on a psychological thriller now…something completely different from my other books. Sometimes I went down to the store and helped Edward and Alice. Angela came along too and sometimes we'd all get lunch together. When it was 2:30, Edward and I went to pick up E.J. He and Alice changed the store hours so Alice wouldn't be left alone at the shop, and she sometimes came with us so she could see Jasper.

At night, Edward helped E.J. with his homework and sometimes we'd all watch movies together. We had made a considerable dent in Edward's list. E.J. had his own little easel in Edward's painting room, so sometimes E.J. and Edward would paint. Edward was also teaching E.J. how to play the piano. I thought my heart would burst every time I saw Edward with E.J. There was so much love in our home.

After we put E.J. to sleep for the night was a whole different story. Since Christmas, it was almost impossible for Edward and I to keep our hands off each other. For the first couple of weeks, Edward insisted that I be on top. Visually, it turned him on beyond belief, and I'm not going to lie, it turned me on too. Watching him lose himself, and knowing that he was looking back at me was always an intense experience for me, and if I didn't come before him, I was never far behind. A warning from Alice to remember to keep our bedroom door locked was extremely helpful and our volume control had improved immensely. Only once did E.J. knock on our door, and that was the first time that Edward had been on top. That was a definite loss of control on both our parts.

Tonight, Esme and Carlisle were going to have all the kids sleeping over at Edward's old place. All the parents (us included) tried to protest because it was Valentine's Day, but they insisted. They mentioned that they were alone together pretty much every other day of the year, so one night wasn't going to kill them. Carlisle said this all with a smirk as he squeezed Esme's side and I think Edward almost threw up in his mouth and muttered something along the lines of "still go at it like rabbits…" I chuckled softly at the memory. If I had my way tonight, Edward and I would be the ones going at it like rabbits. I had plans for our first Valentine's Day together in years.

"What are you laughing at?" Edward whispered as he moved so that he could look at my face. I blushed when I thought about the present I had for Edward waiting upstairs in the back of my closet.

"Hmmm…must be something good," Edward mused as he stroked my cheek, "And something that has nothing to do with our son's birthday."

I could feel my heartbeat pick up as I looked into Edward's green eyes. They were playful, yet I saw the lust that swam underneath. His crooked smile was making my insides all tingly and I was thisclose to telling him my plans, but was saved by our son's squeals of excitement.

"TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

I barely had time to move out of the way as E.J. launched himself into Edward's arms. E.J.'s laugh grew louder as Edward swung him around in a circle. When Edward finally stopped, I planted a big kiss on E.J.'s cheek.

"Happy Birthday Edward James," I smiled.

"Thank you Mommy!" E.J. shouted as he bounced in Edward's arms. E.J's head turned and his eyes went wide when he saw the presents on the table.

"Are those all mine?" He asked, his voice showing his surprise.

"They sure are buddy," Edward said as he carried E.J. over to the couch, "Happy 6th Birthday."

"Those are a lot Daddy," E.J. said as his little brow furrowed and he picked up the first small package on the table. I shot Edward a glance that said, "I told you so" and he rolled his eyes at me in response. Edward and I both got him two presents on our own and then two from the both of us. We were both excited to see him open them all.

E.J. tore through his first 4 presents. They revealed his own set of little paintbrushes and a personalized autograph from Ichiro Suzuki. Apparently Esme did the decorating on his house, and Ichiro was a fan of Edward's artwork. E.J. almost bounced right off the couch in excitement when he opened that gift. He got a baseball glove and baseball from the both of us, and from me he got the new cartoon Superman movie that he wanted. I saw Edward's brows furrow as he looked at me, knowing that E.J. was reaching for the last present on the table, but one of mine was missing. I had kept this one a secret.

Edward and I returned our gazes to E.J.'s as we watched him open the envelope carefully. I knew he would recognize the logos immediately and braced myself for his squeal when he read the first line of the envelope contents.

"I'M GOING TO SEE THE MARINERS!!"

E.J. started chanting "thank you" over and over again and jumped into my arms before immediately letting go and throwing himself at Edward. On June 19th, E.J. was going to go see the Seattle Mariners play the New York Yankees, and his tickets were in the first row, right between the Mariners dugout and home plate. He'd be able to see all of the on-deck batters right in front of him.

When E.J. finally calmed down, I pulled my hidden envelope from behind the pillows and set it down in E.J.'s lap. I had been working on it for a little over a week now, whenever Edward and E.J. were out. Edward looked curiously at me before scooting E.J. closer so he could also see this mystery gift.

I heard a collective gasp from both of the most important men in my life, and Edward locked his eyes with mine. His mouth was opening and closing slowly, as he thought of the right things to say. All I could do was smile and pray that he was happy. It was present for Edward too really.

"Did he already bring you the special food Mommy?" E.J. asked excitedly.

"He did," I said softly as I nodded. Edward's gaze left mine and he looked down at the top of our son's head.

"So is there a baby growing in there now? Did you eat the food already?" E.J. asked, his hands moving to my stomach.

"Not yet baby," I said with a smile, "I didn't eat the food yet. Hopefully soon though. The Stork said it might take a little while in his letter there to you right?"

E.J. picked up his letter from the Stork and let his eyes scan over it again. Edward still hadn't said anything and I couldn't look at him yet. We hadn't really discussed this, but I felt ready, and I knew he wanted another baby…I was praying that he wasn't mad right now.

"You're right Mommy," E.J. said as he set his letter down, "but I'm so happy! That means I'm going to have a baby brother or sister!"

He clapped and hugged me again. Edward awkwardly received his hug and I noticed his eyes were completely unfocused as he hugged E.J. I was about to say something before E.J. stood up and grabbed my hand.

"Mommy, help me get dressed for today!"

"I'll clean up a bit," Edward said softly, finally snapped from his daze. I bit my lip as I followed E.J. and left Edward in the living room. Hopefully, he wasn't upset, and my mind was racing not knowing what he was thinking. After helping E.J. pick out his clothes and starting his shower, I exited the bathroom and found Edward leaning against the wall a few feet away, his arms crossed and his gaze fixed on the floor. I nervously walked up to him. When I was standing in front of him he finally spoke.

"Did that present mean what I think it means?" he asked softly, his voice devoid of any kind of emotion.

"Yes," I whispered, "Are you…are you mad?"

"You mean that you're ready for us to try for another baby?" His voice was still not hinting at any of his thoughts or feelings.

"Edward, I'm sorry…I know we didn't talk before this an-"

I was cut off by his hands cupping my cheeks and his lips coming down hard against mine. I gasped as Edward pulled me tight against his body and he took that opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth, moaning as we made contact. My hands fisted themselves in the t-shirt material at Edward's hips as his frantic kisses continued. I moaned as his hands roamed across my back and one slipped down to my ass. Eventually our kisses slowed down as we heard the shower turn off from down the hall. When we finally broke apart, both panting like we ran a marathon, Edward kept me pressed tightly to him.

"You're really ready to try?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Yes…I…I take it you are too?" I whispered into his neck.

"More than anything, love. Thank you."

He pulled back then and one of his hands tilted my head up so he could look me in the eyes.

"You've given me everything I've ever wanted in this life Isabella," I shivered when he called me that, "My life is perfect, and just when I feel like it can't get any better, you surprise me and make life even more perfect."

"I'm not pregnant yet," I said softly, a little remorseful.

"Mmmm…" Edward hummed as he leaned his forehead on mine, "but you will be…soon."

I nodded as I shifted my head and pressed my lips against his lips softly.

"Soon…" I whispered, "I love you Edward."

"I love you too my Bella," Edward whispered back, before pressing another kiss to my lips and then forehead.

"I'll help E.J. change. You go ahead and get ready first. The others will be here soon."

I nodded, "Happy Valentine's Day."

Edward smiled as E.J. walked out of the bathroom. He had taken to wrapping a towel around his waist instead of taking his clothes in the bathroom with him after he had seen Edward do the same. It warmed my heart at how much he wanted to be exactly like Edward.

"Happy Valentine's Day, love," Edward called as he walked towards E.J.'s room. I smiled and headed upstairs. I couldn't wipe the huge smile off of my face.

* * *

Edward and I stood in the kitchen in a complete daze. There was so much food everywhere. And we sent home tons of food with everyone. There were H&H bagels, chicken katsu from L&L Drive-In, hot dogs from Grey's Papaya, french fries from Pommes Frittes, peanut butter M&Ms, and cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery. I wasn't even sure we had enough containers to store everything.

"How is it," Edward started, as he put cupcakes in a container, "that we send tons of food home with everyone and we still have all of this."

I bit my lip, "Alice might have gone a little overboard when I had her help me place orders and whatnot."

"You think?" Edward smirked, eyebrows raised.

I rolled my eyes as I continued to pack away the bagels. The party had been tons of fun and the kids had a ball, and even the adults got into it. We all went ice-skating and E.J. held on to me and Edward's hands. We tried to let him go a few times, but he stumbled and I was close to going down with him a couple of times. Carlisle and Esme even got into it and skated around with their arms around each other. After we skated for a few hours, we walked back through the park, stopping for the kids to play on the Alice in Wonderland statue, before heading to a Starbucks to grab coffee and hot chocolates.

Edward and I did have our moments alone while we were skating. I was a little better than he was at first, his balance not the best, but he quickly learned and was doing better than me. It was nice just to skate with him, arm in arm, and have it just be us. It felt like we were kids again. Ice-skating was something Edward never let us try when he was blind, and I was overjoyed we were getting to do this together now. I sighed as I packed away the last of the chicken. It was definitely a happy sigh. Life with Edward and E.J. was perfect, and to think we were going to add to it, made me want to do a little happy dance.

"Do you think the french fries are going to last?" Edward asked as he held up the platter.

I blushed a little, being snapped from my thoughts and caught by surprise. My daydreams were so much more pleasant these days, and I found myself being lost in them more and more. I think I need to start writing more to get these all out of my head.

"Hmmm…I don't think so. French fries are usually pretty gross the day after anyway."

"You're blushing," Edward said, as he continued to pack food away, smirking, but not looking at me.

"It's nothing," I muttered, placing things in the dishwasher.

"You know I'll get it out of you eventually…"

"Mmmm…you already know."

"A baby?" Edward whispered.

"A baby," I whispered back.

We said nothing after that. I knew it was a big thing to spring on Edward, but I also knew he was ready. I definitely knew I was ready again, and we ALL knew E.J. was ready, so I figured it would make an excellent birthday present to E.J. as well. He didn't need to know the process of how his baby sibling was going to arrive, but Edward and I could certainly enjoy that part.

From the looks of things, Edward and I would be eating junk food for quite a while. E.J. certainly wasn't going to be complaining. He had received many fabulous presents today. From Alice and Jasper, he of course received clothes. I was thinking Jasper had no say in that one. Rosalie and Emmett got him a model car set. He would be able to put it together and paint it any way he wanted to. Carlisle and Esme brought him candy from the store in Port Angeles that E.J. visited during Thanksgiving and also a Nintendo DS. Angela and Ben bought E.J. a bunch of collectible Superman comic books. I was positive Angela had nothing to do with that present. Nessie, Seth, and Jake bought him several Superman shirts. Kate's family bought him a rather expensive looking art set, and Garrett's family bought him several board games.

Ever the little gentleman I raised him to be (and mimicked Edward), E.J. stood up after opening all his presents and gave a little thank you speech all on his own. He then proceeded to hug everyone. Of course, then he resorted straight back to the typical 6-year-old boy and the kids all went off screaming and running to his room to play with his new toys.

"Looks like we got everything," Edward said, wiping his hands on a towel.

I looked around and nodded. We had packed away or thrown away all of the food and the counter tops were clean and the dishwasher was going. My heart and stomach got that fluttery feeling I always got when I knew when Edward was looking at me in _that_ way. When I finally met Edward's eyes, he was definitely giving me that look. The look that said that all of our responsibilities for the night were done, and it was just Edward and I now.

Before I could even blink, Edward's arms were around me and his lips descended on my neck.

"I have plans for you tonight," he whispered, his voice low and husky.

"Not…fair…" I panted as Edward continued to nip and suck, "I…have…plans…too…"

I let out a loud moan as Edward sucked on my collarbone and pushed his hips harder into my own. His excitement was obvious and I began to squirm against him as I could feel my own.

"Edward…upstairs…"

I squealed as Edward swept me up in his arms and we were flying up the stairs. Edward almost tripped as we went barreling into our room. His hands were everywhere and I was having a hard time keeping up.

"Edward…Edward…wait…" I barely got out.

He finally slowed his movements, and when he did I noticed that my shirt was hanging off one arm and my bra clasp on my back was already undone. We were both breathing hard and Edward's eyes were completely glazed over with lust.

"Lie on the bed," I whispered as I pushed him, "and take off everything but your boxers."

"Bella…"

"You'll get your chance," I whispered, moving to nip at his ear, "I promise."

Edward nodded and moved to the bed, shedding his clothing as he went. When I looked at him, he was sitting on the bed in just his black boxer briefs. I smirked as I slipped my shirt and bra off my body, and glanced over my shoulder. Edward's mouth hung open slightly and he shifted on the bed. I fished out the pink & black bag from the cavernous back part of my closet and held it in front of my breasts as I headed towards the bathroom. I swear I heard Edward growl as I shut the door.

When I was shopping with Alice, Rosalie, and Angela, I had blushed at some of the scraps of material they were looking into buying. I never would've thought Angela would be willing to do this sort of thing for Ben, but apparently she liked it. That was more than enough information for me. Rosalie was 6 months pregnant now, but she said she was just coming along for fun. She had found a site online that specialized in maternity lingerie. Alice was like a kid in a candy store.

I pulled what I had chosen out of the bag. I knew anything that I put on wasn't going to remain on my body for long, even if I did get to execute my plan. I pulled the teal colored satin material out of the bag and laid it out on the counter in front of me. Edward had greatly enjoyed his Christmas present, so I figured he would love this just as much. It was a teal satin thong, with long ribbons that tied the sides together. On the front was black sheer chiffon like material, hanging like drapes. In three spots, sparkling silver rhinestone strands hung down.

I couldn't help but blush a little and smile as I stripped the rest of my clothes on and slipped on the thong, adjusting it as necessary. I had wanted to cut my hair, but Edward loved it long, and it was long enough to cover my breasts. I fluffed it up a bit before letting it cover my chest accordingly. I took a deep breath and opened the door, leaning against the frame. When I looked at the bed, my brows furrowed. Edward wasn't there.

I walked forward into the room, "Edward?"

I gasped when my eyes were suddenly cloaked in darkness and I felt Edward's sweet breath on my neck.

"I'm right here love. And you look absolutely…delicious."

I whimpered as I felt he other hand on my waist, drawing slow patterns on my stomach. "Edward…I…I told you to lie down…"

"Mmmm…" he hummed as he licked along my shoulder, "I told you I had plans."

Every touch caused a fire to blaze through my veins. I could tell that he was still in his boxers as I felt the hard planes of his chest and stomach pressed against my back. I could also feel the obvious bulge in his boxers pressing against me. I let my hands feel there way up his arms and I struggled to find a grip on his hair. It was overwhelming to not have my sight.

"Edward…" I whimpered.

"Mmmm…you can have another night. Perhaps in Hawaii? I've had this planned since before the surgery my Bella."

My breathing hitched. I didn't know what to say. That was almost 7 years ago. I could feel Edward begin to move us to the bed as he chuckled.

"It's not to say I don't appreciate the thought love. These…these panties are exquisite."

I could feels his hands running against my legs and toying with the ties at my sides.

"Do you trust me?" He whispered in my ear. I could only nod, my senses too overwhelmed by the lack of one. I gasped when Edward picked me up in his arms and walked us the rest of the way towards the bed. His lips pressed against mine softly, yet I could still feel the underlying urgency behind them.

"I've wanted to do this for so long Bella. I wanted you to experience how it was like for me. How overwhelming it was to feel your love for me. To just feel you against me…"

I felt myself being lowered to our bed. Edward's lips skimmed along my neck and collarbones and my hands finally found purchase in his hair. I let out a loud moan as I felt his chest press firmly against my body.

"I want you to just feel Bella…" Edward moaned out, before grabbing my left hand and pressing a kiss into my palm.

"Edward…" I cried as he his lips continued a trail up my arm.

I tried to get a grip on him anywhere I could, my hands only managing to caress the smooth skin that covered his flexing arms and back. I could feel the weight and heat of him against me, and it was so intense I could barely think straight. My heart was beating in a frenzy as Edward's lips began to descend to the valley between my breasts.

"Mmmm…" he hummed, resting his cheek against me, "I can feel your heartbeat. It's so fast."

His name was the only thing I was able to rasp out as he began to worship my breasts with his tongue. I yelped when I felt his teeth graze along my nipple and I frantically searched out his hair so I could pull him my to meet my lips.

"Edward…please…" I whimpered as he resisted slightly, his mouth sucking softly on the underside of my left breast.

"What do you want love?" Edward whispered. I could feel his body shift and could sense his face hovering above mine.

"Kiss me…" I pleaded. My breathing hitched as I felt the heat from his face and felt his lips on my forehead.

"Here?" he asked.

"Edward…"

His lips placed a kiss on both of my cheeks.

"Here?"

I shook my head. We continued this game as he placed a kiss on both of my eyes, ears, and tip of my nose.

"I just can't think of anywhere else Bella…"

"Edward!" I whined, bucking my hips into his. My action caused us both to whimper.

"It appears I forgot your lips…" Edward muttered, his voice shaky with lust.

"Yes…" I moaned as his hands played with the bows on my hips and I felt his whole weight press against me.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, the weight of his body was gone and I felt the cool air as my panties fell away from my body.

"Edward!" I cried out as he lifted my hips and I heard the panties hit the floor.

"You're packing those for Hawaii," I heard him growl.

I let out a loud squeal as I felt him kneel between my knees and his tongue licked along my thigh. With his arms wrapped around my legs, I started breathing harder and crying his name softly. All he did was hum in response as he crept closer and closer to his destination. It was a good thing E.J. was nowhere near the apartment tonight. My screams made my throat almost raw and Edward let go and moaned loudly against me, the vibrations causing my orgasm to hit me that much harder.

My limbs felt completely useless as they fell to the bed. Every time was amazing with Edward, but this was so much more. I felt every movement his body made against mine so much more. I was panting as his body crept back up my own, and his lips kissed and licked along the different curves of my body. Finally his lips found mine and we both moaned at the contact and the taste. I thought it would be gross the first time, but there was something erotic about kissing Edward and tasting myself on him.

"Did you mean these lips?" Edward whispered, his lips barely detached from mine.

All I could do was whimper in response as I felt his boxer covered erection press against my still sensitive core.

"Edward…please…"

"Please what, love?" Edward asked as his lips nipped along my jaw.

My hands quickly slid down his sides and hooked themselves into his boxers. He jumped a little when my hand wrapped around his throbbing member.

"Make love to me Edward…"

"As you wish baby," Edward murmured against my ear, before placing a kiss there. I let out a soft whine when I felt his body lift away from mine.

"Edward I want to see you for this...please…"

Edward's weight was back against me and I gasped loudly when his erection slipped against my wetness.

"I just want you to feel me for little bit," Edward whispered as he rocked against me, "Just for a little, and I'll take off the blindfold."

I nodded and pursed my lips, knowing he would know what I wanted. He pressed his lips against mine softly before pulling away.

"I love you Edward," I whispered as I felt him shift. I shivered as I felt his tip press against my opening.

"I love you Bella," He whispered back, a hand stroking my cheek softly, "Um…do you…do you want me to…"

"No," I said, a smile spreading on my lips, "No condom Edward…please…"

I could feel Edward's arms beside my head as he slowly started to press forward.

"I love you Bella," he said repeatedly against my neck. It was like the first time all over again, minus the sharp pain. I could feel him stretching me as he entered agonizingly slow and my arms wrapped themselves around his back, clutching him to me. We both moaned when our hips locked together.

"God…Bella, you feel so good," Edward groaned out. He moved to pull out, but I held him to me.

"Wait! Please! Edward, I…just let me feel you…wait…" I panted as I adjusted to his size. It didn't hurt, but that stretch I felt was always amazing. Edward held himself still as he began to whisper in my ear.

"Baby, you feel amazing…you so wet and tight. We're going to make a beautiful baby. A little girl with your brown eyes…"

I moaned as I felt him twitch slightly inside of me and my walls pulsed. I was physically and mentally overwhelmed. He wanted a little girl with my eyes?

"I want her to have your hair," I whispered as I moved my hips against him. Edward moaned loudly before he pulled out and started our slow rhythm.

"Mmmm…with your curls," Edward breathed softly against my neck, placing soft kisses here and there.

"Yes…" I moaned out, thought whether it was in agreement or pleasure, I don't know. Edward began to pick up his pace and though I was sure he was nowhere near done, just focusing on the feel of him was already causing my stomach to tighten.

"Edward…please…I…I want to see you…"

When the blindfold came off my eyes instantly searched out his. They were dark and completely filled with the lust and love that I had become so used to seeing. His lips were parted and his breathing had picked up. The sight of his face alone drove me closer to the edge.

"Edward…I…I…"

"Bella, I love you."

That was all it took, I struggled to keep my eyes open as long as possible as my orgasm hit. I cried out as Edward helped me ride it out, nowhere near his own release. In my post-orgasm haze, Edward somehow flipped us and moved us so he was now sitting up with me in his lap and my legs wrapped around his waist. Slowly, he began to rock us back and forth.

I couldn't help but moan, his body pressing against me in all the right ways in this new position.

"I love you Edward, so, so much…" I whispered, as I let my hands cup his cheeks. His arms were wrapped around my waist and back. One hand slowly started to creep up my back and tangled itself in my hair.

"Marry me…" He whispered against my lips, "One day, I'm going to ask you to marry me."

"Yes…" I moaned out, my hands moving to grasp his shoulders, "yes…"

"Isabella Cullen…" He murmured against my neck, "I love you…I love you…"

His hips started to rock us faster at a more frantic pace and I could feel my inner walls starting to clench again.

"Edward…"

"God…I know baby…I'm close…come with me baby…please…"

Our hips began to shift against each other faster and more urgently. Our cries for each other and professions of our love grew louder and with another hard thrust, Edward crushed his lips to mine as we fell off the edge together, crying out against each other's lips. After a few moments of heavy breathing and soft kisses, Edward slowly lowered us to our sides, slipping out. I couldn't help but whimper every time. The soft moonlight that flittered in through the window made Edward's pale skin practically glow and neither of us moved to cover us with the blanket.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, my hand slowly tracing the indents of his abs.

Edward chuckled, "I think it's the other way around."

"You would think that," I said as I playfully pushed his chest.

We spent countless minutes softly kissing each other and caressing each other's skin. One of my hands played with Edward's hair while the other caressed his bicep and shoulder. I had been so focused on the veins in his bicep that I didn't notice his gaze. His eyes were fixed on my stomach as his hand slowly moved back and forth over my soft flesh.

"I'll know soon," I whispered, knowing what he was thinking about.

Edward looked up and smiled at me, "Not soon enough."

"We can keep practicing until then," I said, smiling back at him.

"Are you trying to seduce me Ms. Swan?" Edward asked, the playful glint in his eyes.

"Is it working?" I asked, eyebrows raised. I squealed as I found myself suddenly pinned underneath Edward.

"You never have to try," He growled, as he nipped at my lip, "I always want you."

I giggled as Edward and I began our practice, rolling and laughing with each other. When we finally tired ourselves out, I fell asleep in Edward's arms, as he hummed my lullaby he wrote for me all those years ago. That night I dreamt of a little girl and little boy with my brown eyes and Edward's shocking bronze hair.

**Well? Yes? No? Hmmm…I wonder if Bella's dream is REALLY going to come true or not. Remember what I said in the A/N…I wonder what's going to happen…**

**Let me know what you thought, pretty please? Good or bad. OH, and if you review, suggestions on baby names for Emmett & Rosalie's baby would be appreciated. I'm trying to think of something that goes with McCarty but I'm failing. Boy & girl names please…I'm not giving that away just yet. :-P **


	27. Chapter 26: I'm The Only One For You

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: And the drama returns…I've got a name for Emmett & Rosalie's baby! :- ) You'll have to wait a little longer for that though. Thank you just for reading (I hear from so little people on this story, it makes me wonder who's still reading it…). Oh, and for the story timeline, it is now the end of March 2009. **

**The song is by a Hawaiian band called Ten Feet. You can find it on iTunes. It's one of my favorite songs. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to you all in the United States.**

_**I'm the only one for you**_

_**You're the only one for me **_

_**Baby, can't you see **_

_**You're still the only one**_

_**Each and every night I pray**_

_**Hoping there will come a day**_

_**Baby, you believe**_

_**You're still the only one**_

_**-Ten Feet, "I'm The Only One For You"**_

Chapter 26: I'm The Only One For You

_**EPOV**_

"Daddy, is Mommy feeling okay?"

I sat up from my place on our towel. E.J. and I were sitting in the sand on Waikiki Beach, him working on a sand castle and me working on not being pasty white when we returned to New York.

"What makes you ask son?"

E.J.'s little brows furrowed and he patted a palm full of sand onto what I assumed was a tower.

"She said she was only going to grab sunscreen up in our room, but the bottle is right there and she's been gone a long time."

I stamped down the panic that wanted to escape. We had been in Hawaii for two days now, all of us enjoying the nice change in weather. Nessie was taking a nap with Sue up in the room. The men were all out trying their hands at surfing, and the women were walking the strip and perusing the shops in the Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center. Bella had declined originally, saying she wanted to spend time with E.J. and I, but our perceptive little son was right. Bella had been gone for almost half an hour now.

Before I could panic about what to do, my father flopped down on a towel beside us.

"I…am…not…as…young…as I used to be," he panted out. I couldn't help but chuckle. When we had checked into our rooms, the woman at the front desk had asked if my father and Jasper were brothers. My father definitely did not look like he was going to turn 55 this year.

"The waves too much for you old man?"

My father rolled his head over to look at me and glared, "I didn't see you out there _young_ man."

"Daddy promised to build sand castles with me and Mommy!" E.J. quickly butt in, saving me from a sarcastic battle of insults with my father.

"I'm going to go check on Bella. She's been gone for a while. Can you watch E.J. for me Dad?"

"Sure," My father said, sitting up and moving to sit next to E.J. "Is she feeling all right?"

"I'm not sure," I said, standing and throwing on my shirt and sunglasses.

"Do you think…" my father trailed off. I shrugged, knowing what he was asking. He gave me a small smile as he returned his attention back to E.J.

As I rode the elevator up to our room, I couldn't help but let my mind wonder. Was she feeling ill? Could she…Is she…I couldn't even bring myself to think it. Bella was crushed when she got her period after Valentine's Day, but we had kept up our "practice" so to speak. I know she was scared that I wasn't ready to try yet, but I was. I felt like everything was in the right place in our lives for the first time. I couldn't help but hope that she was pregnant.

I had to be stealthy about it, since Bella and E.J. had hardly left my side since we arrived, but last night I finally was able to get away as Bella helped E.J. with his bath, and met with my mother. I had asked her to bring me my Grandmother Platt's engagement ring. It was a simple band, with a solitaire diamond in the middle. My grandfather had fought in World War II and asked my grandmother before he left for Europe. He promised her that he would come back to her, and that their love would survive their time apart. I couldn't help but compare it to Bella and I, and think about how our love had managed to survive the separation and hurt.

When I entered our suite, I didn't see her anywhere.

"Bella?" I called out. When I got no response I moved further into the room. I saw the small beach bag she had brought down with us tossed on the bed E.J. was using and the key card lay next to it.

"Bella?" I tried again, moving into the living room area and headed into the connecting master bedroom. My brows furrowed when I didn't see her anywhere. I was about the head out onto the balcony when I heard soft noises coming from the bathroom. I walked slowly to the door, which was slightly ajar. I crumbled to my knees automatically. There curled up in a ball against the tub was Bella. I crawled over slowly before I whispered her name again.

She kept her head down and didn't look at me, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees.

"I'm sorry Edward…"

I was confused as knelt in front of her, reaching for her hands, "Bella, love, what are you talking about?"

"I…I…I…I got my period!" She buried her head into her knees and sobbed loudly, pulling her hands from mine and latching onto her legs.

Had this been any other time, I would've found this bit of information a bit of an overshare, her monthly visitor hardly cause for commotion. However, this was the second time since we had been trying. I moved slowly so I was sitting next to her against the tub and pulled her into my lap. She shook her head violently, but I wouldn't let her go. She continued to sob into her knees and I was so unsure of what to say to her. I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't myself disappointed. I hadn't told her how much I was truly hoping for her to be pregnant soon. She knew I was excited about it, but I never really told her just how much.

I didn't want to put any more added pressure on her. I was going crazy waiting to see if she was pregnant. I wanted so badly to be there this time. To see her stomach grow each passing month, to be there to see her first ultrasound, to feel our baby kicking, hear our baby's first cry…I wanted it all so badly. That was not to say that I cared for E.J. any less or would treasure a new baby any more than him. I loved E.J. so much. My only regret was that I hadn't been there for him. It was a fine line to walk, especially around Bella. While we were happy together, I knew we would both occasionally think about what could have been. She would still feel guilty if she ever knew that I regretted missing out on E.J.'s life.

"Bella, there's nothing to be sorry for," I finally whispered softly.

She pushed away from me hard and stumbled out of my lap, scrambling to her feet.

"How can you say that?" She cried, "It has to be my fault! I'm being punished or something!"

"Bella!" I shouted, jumping to my feet, "Don't say that!"

"What else could it be? When we aren't trying, we have E.J. and when we are, I can't get pregnant!"

"Bella, love, it's only been two months."

"We were virgins when we had E.J.!"

"Baby, please don-"

"DON'T EDWARD!" She wailed, "Please…just…don't…"

"Bella…"

"Don't tell me you're not disappointed Edward."

She stunned me in my spot. I wasn't expecting her to call me on that. She swiped at her eyes and looked at me for the first time since I came in here.

"You're disappointed and I know how much you want this Edward. And I am sorry because I'm letting you down, and I can't give this to you."

"Bella…"

She held her hand up, effectively cutting me off. "I'm going back down to E.J. I've been gone far too long. I can't talk about this now. I'll see you down there?"

I didn't move as she turned her back and walked out of the bathroom. I didn't know what to think or what to say. What could I possibly say? I hated that it was a question of whether or not I would be coming back down there. I felt sick to my stomach that I WAS disappointed…and Bella knew it. I couldn't help but hang on her words. _"I can't give this to you."_ Was she keeping something for me? Did she find out something at the doctor's office? Was she not able to have any more children?

My hand fisted itself tightly in my hair and I pulled hard. Would she keep something that big from me? I somewhat staggered out of the bathroom and went to the balcony. I opened the door and walked outside, the heat and breeze immediately warming my body. Our room was overlooking the beach and when I looked down, I knew that two of those dots down there were Bella and E.J. I'm sure if I looked hard enough I could find E.J. from his hair color. I looked out into the ocean and lost myself in the waves. I had thought we were done with all of this, the push and pull of going forwards and backwards in our relationship. I thought Bella and I were only moving forward from here. Christ, I had even wanted to ask her to marry me while we were here! How could she keep something like this from me?

I lost myself in watching the waves from our room and watched a glorious orange, purple, and pink sunset that cast its glow over the ocean. Minutes later I heard my son come tearing into the room, yelling loudly for me.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

I turned slowly and walked into the room, just as E.J. came running in the bedroom. I gave him my best smile as he jumped into my arms, but instantly frowned at me.

"How come you didn't' come back down to the beach? Mommy had to build the moat for my castle with me."

"Did you not like the moat Mommy made you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella leaning against the doorframe.

"I did," E.J. pouted, "But you said you would do it."

"How about tomorrow, when we head out to the North Shore, I help you and Nessie build a big castle?"

"Okay! Will you help me with my bath? Mommy said we're going to a fancy dinner at some guy Roy's place or something."

E.J. never failed to put a smile on my face and I chuckled, throwing him over my shoulder causing him to squeal. I paused in the doorway next to Bella. She looked up at me biting her bottom lip.

"I'll set his outfit out."

I smiled and kissed her on her forehead. While I was confused about whether or not she was hiding something from me, I didn't want her to think I was upset with her. I wasn't…I was merely just very, very confused.

All through dinner and our limo ride out to Roy's, E.J. was between Bella and I, chatting away happily with anyone who would listen. Bella would smile and laugh and join in, but I knew it wasn't genuine. Try as I might, I knew Alice knew that I wasn't happy about something and she kept giving me questioning glances. I didn't know what to say to anyone. My father had looked so optimistic when I went up from the beach this afternoon, but he didn't ask about it. My mother was equally ecstatic when I asked for my grandmother's ring. Angela & Ben were pretty much acting like they were on a second honeymoon. Jake, Seth, and Sue were all either wrapped up in each other or having a ball with Nessie. Alice knew something was up, and Jasper could tell as well. I was at a loss for words.

Before we parted ways for our separate rooms after returning from dinner, Alice stopped me in the lobby.

"Bella, do you mind if I chat with Edward for a bit? Just some stuff about the store."

I looked at Bella and she looked almost relieved, as if she was praying something would delay our time alone and we could avoid our impending conversation. E.J. on the other hand made a pouty face.

"You're not going to tuck me in Daddy?"

I knelt down and picked him up, "I just have to talk to Miss Alice about some work stuff. You be good and go to sleep for Mommy. We're going to the North Shore tomorrow and it's going to be a long day."

I watched as E.J. cocked his head to the left and seemed to think about this before he finally kissed me on the cheek and said goodnight. I put him down and he ran back to Bella, grabbing her hand.

"I'll be up in a bit," I said softly, looking at Bella.

"Take your time," she whispered as she turned towards the elevator. I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my hair. I was so confused about everything. I loved Bella more than anything in the whole world. I hated that she was being so hard on herself. I wished more than anything she would just talk to me instead of doing everything on her own to try and make me happy. I wanted forever with her no matter what and wished she would believe that.

"You want to go sit by the pool?"

I jumped, completely forgetting that Alice was the reason that I was waiting down here in the first place. I nodded and followed behind Alice quietly. The Hilton Hawaiian Village was a grand hotel and quite large, providing many areas on the hotel property alone to explore. Alice plopped down on one of the chairs near the pool, and a cool yet warm breeze wrapped around us. I sat and ran my hands through my hair, letting the smell of the salty sea air fill my lungs.

"What's going on with you and Bella?"

Well, leave it to Alice to get straight to the point when she can tell that something is bothering me. Before Bella had come back into my life, Alice was rarely ever this forward with me. Other than Bella, Alice was one of my best friends.

"Bella got her period again…" I muttered, Alice obviously knowing what that would mean.

"Okay...it's only been two months. Was she on the pill before? Maybe that's affecting her ability to get pregnant?"

I shook my head, "She hasn't been on the pill for years."

"Oh…well, I'm sure it'll happen Edward."

"That's the thing Alice," I sighed, "I don't know that it will. I think she's keeping something from me."

Alice's head cocked to the side and she looked at me frowning, "What makes you say that Edward?"

"You should have seen her Alice…"

I trailed off before taking a deep breath and telling her about this afternoon. Bella's words were what shook me the most. _"I can't give this to you."_ Alice sat patiently and silently until I told her I didn't know what to do. What I wasn't prepared for at all was the sharp blow to the back of my head.

"Alice!" I roared, "What the hell?"

I was on my feet and seething. Honestly, who likes being smacked upside the head? No one. In true Alice form, the pixie was on her feet, albeit standing on her chair, with her hands on her hips, making her the same height as me.

"Are you kidding me Edward?! Seriously?"

I scowled at her, not enjoying the height difference at all.

"You're an IDIOT if you don't know what you have to do!"

"Well, please, enlighten me Miss Know it All…" I muttered.

"TALK. TO. HER!!" Each punctuated word was like a stab in my chest, and seemed to emphasize the strength behind her tiny finger jabbing into my shoulder.

"God…" she huffed, "You men are so dumb sometimes! Did you ever consider how scared Bella is? How much pressure she must be putting on herself to make this happen for you? What about E.J.?"

"Of course I've thought about it!" I argued back, "But if she can't have any more children, why would she keep it from me? Why not tell me?!"

"Edward, you don't even know if that's the case!" Alice shouted, throwing her arms in the air.

"What else could it be Alice? Why else would she tell me that she can't give me a baby?"

"I swear to God Edward…I'm going to hit you upside the head again if you don't figure this out in the next 20 seconds…"

My eyes widened and I panicked momentarily. Alice was maybe 5 feet tall on a good day, in a good pair of heels she was the same height as Bella, but sweet lord there was something supernatural about the strength in Mary Alice Brandon soon-to-be Whitlock. Even Emmett was terrified of the wrath of the pixie. I flinched when Alice threw her hands in the air.

"She didn't tell you because she doesn't want to hurt you! She thinks that in some convoluted way, she won't hurt you as much if she doesn't tell you the truth! I mean, hello! She thought leaving you when she was pregnant with E.J. was a good idea!"

I stared at Alice blankly. Was that what it was? Bella was trying not to hurt me? That just didn't make any sense!

"That's so stupid! How could she think that? This is hurting her!"

"So…what are you going to do about it?"

"I have to talk to her," I sighed, "I really thought we were through with all of this Alice."

Alice placed a hand on my shoulder as she hopped off her chair. "Well, actually planning for a baby is a big deal Edward. You guys have to be brutally honest with what you both want. I see this working out."

"I was going to ask her to marry me while we were here…" I trailed off.

"Was?" Alice asked, and I could tell she was trying not to let her excitement shine through.

"I…I don't think the timing is right anymore. Not after all of this," I sighed.

Alice looped her arm through mine, and patted my forearm, "You'll know when the timing is right Edward. You two have been through a lot. I have no doubt in my mind that you two will get past this, and you two will have your happily forever after."

"Forever after?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I don't think 'ever after' is long enough when it comes to you and Bella," Alice giggled.

I could only nod and hum in response.

"Okay, now honestly, I did have some work stuff I wanted to talk to you about. Well, I want to show you more like it. I have some sketches I want you to look at."

I nodded and followed Alice back to she and Jasper's room. I popped in briefly and told Bella where I was going, but she was still bathing E.J. She smiled slightly at me but didn't say much else. Had Alice not been standing right there, I probably would have just completely ditched her and stayed with Bella and E.J.

"Did we really have to do this now?" I asked, as I plopped myself down in a chair near the balcony. Jasper chuckled as he walked over, handing me a Kona Longboard beer.

"Edward, you know as well as I do that I can't give Alice feedback nearly as well as you do. I don't have the artistic eye unless in consists of stick figures and finger-painting."

I couldn't help but chuckle and take a long pull from my beer as Jasper took the chair opposite from me. The beer was comforting and I savored it. Bella and I had both not been drinking since deciding to try get pregnant. Obviously, she didn't want to risk anything, and I didn't want to taunt her. Sitting here with Jasper, I felt calmer and my mind seemed to slow down. However, I couldn't stop my leg from fidgeting and let my nerves show through slightly.

"Something bothering you Edward?" Jasper drawled out. The sun was treating him well and he had developed quite the tan and also a talent at surfing with Jake and Seth. Ben and I, not so much. We were both still pretty pale, mostly trying in vain not to look like boiled lobsters.

"Bella's monthly visitor arrived today."

Jasper worked with little kids. He had been bitten, puked on, peed on, pooped on…talking about the bodily functions of a human being didn't bother him one bit. He nodded with understanding, and I knew if anyone, Jasper wouldn't give me the look that told me he felt sorry for me. He was so good at masking his emotions, but also putting you at ease when necessary. Another one of those skills I suppose he developed working with young children for so long.

"Everything will work out how it's meant to Edward."

I sighed heavily and took another long drink of my beer. Alice came prancing over holding her sketchbook. She always looked so carefree, and sometimes I had to wonder if there was anything that truly ever bothered her for longer than a few minutes. She always seemed to be dancing wherever she went and she was so energetic that Jasper balanced her out perfectly.

"Look at these!" Alice chirped, setting her sketchbook down in front of me, before jumping into Jasper's lap.

After spending an hour or so looking over Alice's sketches for fall, full of color and designs, I stood to head back to our room. While I had been distracted looking over Alice's dresses for fall and sketching some prints for her on the side, now that I was leaving, all my thoughts of talking to Bella came rushing back to me. Jasper stopped me at the door.

"I know you're thinking about what to say to Bella, Edward," he said softly, "but don't worry. You guys needed this short time a part to think things through. No doubt she's been thinking about a lot too. Just remember that."

I nodded, feeling a little calmer, and headed out the door. I wasn't sure what I was going to find when I got back. I really wanted to keep my temper in check. It took a lot more to make me upset these days, but I didn't want to lash out at Bella. I knew that was the last thing I needed to do. Would she finally be ready to talk to me? Taking a deep breath, I slid the key card into our door and pushed it open quietly. I didn't hear a thing, and I was glad E.J. was sleeping. When I walked into the room where E.J.'s bed was, I was met with a sight I had hoped not to see.

Bella was curled up with her arms around E.J., both of them fast asleep. I couldn't help but notice how Bella seemed to clutch E.J. to her tightly, as if she was scared that he was going to disappear. I placed soft kisses on both of their foreheads before I headed into our bedroom. The climate here was so much warmer and the humidity made the air heavier. I stripped off my shirt before I went outside to sit on the balcony.

While the lights of Waikiki were bright, they had nothing on the lights of New York City, our dear city that never sleeps. You could actually see the stars here, and the sky was so clear that I could actually make out constellations. It must have been low tide, because the sea was like a black mirror of glass, making look like two skies on top of each other. It was a peaceful change and the salty smell of the air was a welcomed change from the smells of the streets of New York. There was a relaxed vibe here, and despite the rampant thoughts in my head, my body was content to remain calm. The breeze was easy and I had left the door to the balcony open. I heard the soft pad of her feet against the carpet before I heard them hit the tile outside.

I took a deep breath when her tiny hands slipped over my shoulders and she hugged me from behind. I made no move to touch her, and felt her head rest against my own.

"I'm sorry Edward…" she whispered.

"I'm sorry too…" I whispered back. It was pretty late and I was tired. I knew we had to talk, but I didn't want a sleepy mind clouding this serious discussion. I stood up and felt her arms slip away. When I turned around she was biting her lip and it was trembling. I could tell that she was trying really hard to not cry. I bent down and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"It's late and we're waking up early tomorrow. We should go to bed."

I saw her nod out of the corner of my eye as I headed into the room. I waited until she passed by me before closing and locking the door to the balcony. When I turned around, Bella was standing by the bed, her glance going back and forth between our bed and where E.J. was sleeping in the other room. It killed me that she thought I was so mad that I didn't want to share a bed with her. I slipped out of my pants and climbed into bed in my boxers. Bella still hadn't moved an inch and eyed me warily.

I sighed, "Are you coming?"

Bella seemed to be startled, but nodded and slowly climbed in beside me. She lay flat on her back and didn't look at me. I refrained from huffing out a sigh in frustration as I reached over and turned off the lamp, blanketing our room in darkness, but with enough light from outside so that I could see her face. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my chest. I could feel her body tense up and I placed a kiss into her hair.

"Bella, baby, I'm not mad at you, I promise. We'll talk tomorrow okay?"

"Okay…" she whispered softly against my chest, her body relaxing only slightly.

"I love you Isabella…please, never forget that."

She tilted her head back to search my eyes. I would never lie about how I felt for her, and she appeared to have seen that as she softly returned my sentiments. I gave her a faint smile and bent my head so my lips lightly brushed against hers. When I pulled away, her body finally relaxed into my side.

As I expected it would be, Bella's sleep was anything but calm that night. She tossed and turned, struggling against my arms and mumbling. Her words weren't making any sense and if she rolled away from my side, her thrashing got more violent. I had almost fallen asleep around 3am but Bella loudly cried out my name as she flipped onto her back.

"EDWARD! No, no, no…"

I quickly wrapped my arms around her and tucked her into my side.

"Shhhh…Bella, it's okay…" I cooed into her ear. She still struggled slightly before letting out a deep breath and burrowing herself into my chest. I sighed and let my head flop back on to the pillow. My eyes were drifting closed, but that was when I heard it.

"Please don't leave me Edward…"

My eyes shot open at her words and my mind started running at a mile a minute again. It was the last phrase she spoke for the rest of the evening, finally finding some peace in my arms. She thought I was going to leave her? Would she ever believe that she was the only one for me? That she was the only woman that I would want for all of my life? I prayed that she would. I would never leave her, but I wasn't going to be able to take it again if she hid things from me or didn't come and talk to me. The idea of ever being apart from her again was excruciating. I had to try and believe Alice and know in both my heart and brain that this was all going to work out. It was an hour or so before my body finally gave into my exhaustion, thoughts of the future still weighing heavily on my mind. How quickly everything can change...

**Well? Yes? No? I know…no update for like, 3 weeks and then it's a short chapter. Hmmm…where do you think Edward and Bella are going to go from here? Can Bella finally get over her issues and be honest with Edward?? We'll hear from her in the next chapter. The end is almost here. I wonder how it's all going to turn out…**

**Let me know what you thought, good or bad, pretty please? And did we all love "New Moon"??? I did. :- ) I'm going to miss Rachelle as Victoria in "Eclipse". And I'll always be Team Edward, but holy wow…Team Paul anyone? :-P **


	28. Chapter 27: Undisclosed Desires

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: My apologies…I had a brief bout with the influenza and those pesky things called research papers. I'm all better now and I'm thankfully done with another semester of school! Woo hoo!! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Let's see how Bella & Edward are doing…**

_**I know you've suffered, **_

_**But I don't want you to hide, **_

_**It's cold and loveless, **_

_**I won't let you be denied**_

_**Soothing, **_

_**I'll make you feel pure, **_

_**Trust me, **_

_**You can be sure**_

_**I want to reconcile the violence in your heart**_

_**I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask, **_

_**I want to exorcise the demons from your past, **_

_**I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart**_

_**-Muse, "Undisclosed Desires"**_

Chapter 27: Undisclosed Desires

**EPOV**

As we sat and ate breakfast at the diner across the street from our hotel, I couldn't focus too much on what was going on around me. The Wailana Coffee House had an all-you-can-eat pancake special that Jake, Seth, Ben, Alice, and Jasper were taking full advantage of and trying to one up each other. Ben, Seth, and Jasper had long since retired and I was surprised that Alice was still going against Jake.

"Ms. Alice can eat a lot of pancakes," E.J. whispered in my ear, "and she's barely bigger than I am."

My son was proving to be the only thing that could really hold my attention this morning. Everything between Bella and I from the moment we woke up had been awkward. We went through our morning routines and helped E.J. get dressed, but very little was said directly to the other. I knew it was a two way street, but I was upset enough that I wanted her to be the one to come to me about all of this. Yeah, I was being really mature about this. Thank the lord Alice can't read minds. She surely would've slapped me in the head multiple times already. I didn't want Bella to hide anymore and I wanted her to just be honest with me about all this pregnancy business.

I smiled at E.J. as he sat between Bella and I. "Yes well, Ms. Alice is also freakishly strong. Don't let that tiny body fool you."

"I heard that Edward!" Alice shouted from the other end of the table, where she just ordered her fifth plate of pancakes. E.J. giggled and went back to eating his own plate of pancakes. I let my eyes stray over to Bella and when I did I saw her chancing a glance in my direction as well. We both ended up turning our heads away from each other quickly. Ben sat on the other side of me.

"Hey man, so Bella and I finally got all caught up on 'LOST'. Don't they film that out on the North Shore somewhere?"

I heard Bella asking Seth a question about surfing. While I listened to Ben list all the sites where scenes of "LOST" were filmed, my mind was completely lost over what to do about Bella and I. Clearly yes, I knew I had to talk to her, lest I risk another beating from the supernatural pixie, but I didn't know how to get her to approach it. Would I even be able to get her alone while we all ventured out to the North Shore? How would I keep from worrying E.J. that something was going on? What about everyone else? I didn't want to put a damper on anyone else's vacation.

As we walked back to the lobby, E.J. held my hand tightly as he jabbered on with Nessie, her tiny hand grasping Seth's pinky finger. Bella was walking behind me, arm in arm with Alice. I was admittedly worried about the car ride. It was a pretty long drive from Waikiki out to the North Shore and we were all splitting up between 3 cars.

"How are we all splitting up in the cars?" Jacob asked as we came to a stop in the lobby before heading to the parking structure.

"Angela said she and Ben will take the kids! Then it's all the boys and all the girls split up between the other two cars!" Alice chirped.

"Alice…" Bella hissed.

"Sounds like a plan!" Jasper quickly spoke up, glancing briefly at Alice. Everyone else might have missed it, but I had hung around these two long enough to know that something was up. I watched as E.J. and Nessie ran over to Angela and Ben groaned softly next to me.

"Lord knows I need the practice…"

"What?" I asked, not sure if what I was thinking was correct about that statement.

"Oh," Ben said softly as he blushed, he motioned me over closer, "Ang and I weren't going to say anything until we got back to New York but…uh…well, she's pregnant."

"What?" I asked again, careful not to let my voice get too loud. I was stunned.

"Not exactly the response I was looking for, but thanks man," Ben responded sarcastically.

I shook my head quickly, "No no, man! I'm sorry. Congratulations, really. I was just surprised."

Ben clapped me on the shoulder, "You and me both man. And hey, I know you and Bella are trying, we honestly weren't trying to one up you guys or anything. Ang is so scared about how Bella is going to take it. She said Bella got her period again."

I sighed heavily and nodded. He patted my shoulder, "Don't worry man. Everything will work out."

"Thanks man," I whispered, as everyone began to huddle up to get going.

"Oh hey," I said quickly, grabbing Ben's arm, "Don't let Bella find out yet. I think it'll be too much for her to handle."

"No worries man. Ang isn't going to say anything. You're the only one here who knows besides the two of us."

"Okay!" Alice sang out, "Let's move out! We'll meet at Shark's Cove before heading over to Waimea Bay?"

My mother, father, and Ben all nodded since they were driving and we all headed into the elevator. Bella still hadn't really said anything to me and now, even though she was pressed against my side, she still remained silent. As we all exited the elevator I stopped her before she headed to the girl car.

"Bella?" I said softly. She stopped and turned but didn't look up at me. I sighed and cupped her cheek, pulling her face up to look at mine.

"Be safe Bella," I whispered before bending down and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. I felt her tense slightly, and I had to try my hardest not to let it bother me. "I love you."

"I love you too Edward…" she whispered back, before quickly turning and scampering off to the girl car. I sighed heavily and jumped into the passenger seat of the waiting black SUV.

"Thank God this car has the third row seats!" Seth shouted, "at least now we all won't be squished!"

"Speak for yourselves!" Jasper shouted back, "At least you're not crammed in the third row behind you and Jake!"

"Hey! What are you trying to say Jasper?" Seth turned around in his seat to glare. I shook my head. I swear, that guy was never going to grow up. Always a big kid at heart.

"Children, now, now," My father chuckled as he pulled out onto Ala Moana boulevard, "there will be no rough housing in the car or you'll be on time out when we get there."

Jacob laughed loudly as Seth fake pouted and Jasper laughed from the back. Though it was fun to be with the men, I missed my Bella. I wanted her back. I wanted to just grab her by the arms and shake some sense into her and make her see how much I loved her. I wanted her to see that she should be able to trust me with anything, no matter how much it might hurt me. I thought our 5 years of separation would've been enough to knock some sense into her. I just didn't understand.

"So Edward, how's the baby making going?"

Leave it to Seth to ask so nonchalantly. I instantly felt the pull of my eyebrows and knew that I was now scowling. I heard a loud smack and Seth shout.

"What the HELL was that for?!"

"Do I need to pull the car over?" my father asked, "Honestly boys."

"Were you paying attention to anything Angela said this morning?" Jake asked, irritation evident in his voice, "Bella got her period again."

"WHOA! I have no need to know about anyone's personal monthly business!"

"It means she's not pregnant you moron!"

I clenched my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. Like I needed to be reminded of the fact that Bella wasn't pregnant and that there was something that she was keeping from me that had to do with that fact.

"Edward…hey man, are you okay?"

Jasper was always the calm one no matter what was going on around him. He could have 20 kindergarteners screaming because someone threw up or peed on the carpet and never lose his cool. I sighed heavily and simply shook my head.

"Edward, I'm sorry man," Seth said as he clapped a big hand on my shoulder, "but don't worry, it'll happen."

"That's the thing," I muttered, "I'm not so sure it can."

"What are you talking about son?"

Of course my father would catch on that something could medically be wrong.

I let out another heavy sigh, "It was just something she said. She said that she can't give me a baby. She didn't explain herself any further and we haven't had the chance to talk about it."

"Did she find out something from her doctor?" The concern was clear in my father's voice.

"You should have seen her…" I shook my head, "She was distraught. I mean, if she can't have another baby, why would she keep something like that from me? It's like she thinks I won't stay with her if she can't have another baby!"

"She has been putting a lot of pressure on herself to get pregnant…so Alice tells me," Jasper added the last part on quickly.

I nodded in agreement. Bella had been so sure that it would be easy just like it was with E.J., one time and then BAM! She's pregnant again. Apparently that would not be the case this time.

"You know, if she's putting a lot of stress on herself, that would be contributing to the fact that she's not getting pregnant," my father pointed out.

"I know," I sighed, "but that doesn't explain why she said she can't give me another baby."

"Have you guys talked about this?"

"No," I said flatly.

"Hey man," Jacob said, "Even if she can't have another baby, you guys still have tons of options. Surrogacy, in vitro, adoption…you guys can still have another baby."

I nodded in silence. I had to give Jacob credit. He had been raising Nessie like she was his own since she was a baby.

"Just talk to her son and go from there. You can't do anything until you hear her side of the story."

"Yeah, we'll keep mini-you occupied and you can sneak off and talk with Bella. Of course, if you two plan on doing more than talking-"

Another loud smack followed by Seth shouting at Jacob made me laugh loudly. I hadn't truly laughed like that since we had been here. I already felt a little lighter about the situation and I had to remind myself of what Jacob said. Even if Bella couldn't have anymore children, that didn't mean we couldn't have another baby. There was still hope.

The drive out to the North Shore was scenic and filled with views of sugar cane and pineapple fields. It was a beautiful day and I could tell I would definitely need to slather on the sunscreen and make sure that E.J. put on enough as well. When we arrived at Shark's Cove, I was surprised to see that Angela & Ben's car wasn't here yet. All the women were standing around their car and as soon as we pulled up, Seth tumbled out of the car.

"Freedom!' He cried as he shook out his long legs.

Jasper muttered something under his breath as he clambered out of the very back and hopped down. Alice quickly flitted to his side and the two immediately launched into a quiet conversation. Bella remained leaning up against their car and I walked slowly towards her and stood next to her. I was surprised when she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"How was your ride?" She asked softly.

"It was fine," I replied, "the scenery was nice. Seth complained a lot. Nothing too out of the ordinary."

I heard her laugh softly and a pang in my chest almost made my knees buckle. I couldn't even really remember the last time I had heard her laugh. Had she really been putting that much stress on herself to get pregnant?

"Oh, and Jake slapped him in the head a lot."

Bella giggled this time and my heart throbbed in a good way. This was my Bella coming back to me. I looked down at her and saw her looking up at me with her wide smile and her big bright brown eyes. My heart soared. She looked so beautiful. I gave her the smile that she loved and she slowly wrapped her arms around my middle and buried her face into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her in return and felt her breath in deeply. I closed my eyes and buried my nose in her hair, letting the smell of strawberries wrap around me. We would be okay. We would get past whatever bump in the road this was and we would be fine.

Bella and I remained wrapped up in each other for a few more minutes before the voice of our son snapped us out of our moment together.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Bella and I broke apart and she knelt down as our son skidded to a stop in front of her.

"What is it baby?" Bella asked as she tried to smooth some of his hair down. I couldn't help but crack a smile. Not amount of brushing or product could make his hair behave. It was exactly like mine.

"We had to pull over the car 'cause Miss Angela threw up!"

My eyes widened. Uh oh…

"She told Mr. Ben it was her morning sickness. What does that mean? Is there a sickness you get only in the morning?"

My eyes bugged out of my head. Bella and I didn't even get to talk yet and here she was finding out that Angela was pregnant from our curious son who honestly didn't know any better. I chanced a glance at Bella and her eyes were wide as she covered her mouth with a hand.

"Daddy, do you know what that means? Morning sickness? Can I get it too? I don't want to be sick on our trip!"

I snapped out of my daze quickly and scooped up E.J. "No buddy, you won't get it, but how about I take you to ask grandpa. He's the doctor and he'll know for sure."

Just then, Angela came scurrying over. "Edward, Bella…I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry about it," I said as I carried E.J. towards my father, who looked on with a concerned face. Bella still hadn't moved an inch from where she stood and her hand still covered her mouth.

"Bella…" I heard Angela start off softly. I quickly closed the distance between my father and I, and he took E.J. quickly.

"E.J. has a question for you Dad."

My father raised his eyebrows to me and nodded his head slightly towards where Bella and Angela were standing close together, Angela whispering to her.

"Later," I whispered before I turned and hurried back to Bella's side. She turned when she heard me approach, as did Angela.

"Edward…I'm so sorry! Ben and I…we didn't want to say anything until we got back to New York and I didn't want to upset you and Bella! I'm so sorry! We…I mean…I….we never wanted to…"

Angela started to stutter as tears began to pour over her cheeks. Bella quickly snapped out of it and wrapped her friend up in a tight hug.

"Oh Ang…it's okay. Shhhh…I'm not upset. Just surprised. I'm so happy for you and Ben."

I was surprised at how Bella was taking all of this right now. I was wondering what happened in her car on their drive out here and what the women would have possibly said to her to change her demeanor. While Bella and Angela embraced each other tightly and whispered back and forth to each other, Ben walked up to me cautiously.

"Hey man, I'm sorry. Is Bella okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I think so. Congratulations man."

Ben smiled at me and pushed his glasses up his nose, "Thanks. We wanted to tell you and Bella first. You guys have been our best friends for how many years now."

"Oh Ben!" Bella cried and surprised us both by throwing her arms around Ben's shoulders, "Congratulations!"

Angela timidly stepped up to me and I quickly scooped her up in a hug. She was technically my first friend even before Bella was that first day of school all the way back in fifth grade.

"Congratulations Ang…" I whispered in her ear.

"Thank you Edward," She sniffled softly. I pulled away and looked down at her.

"Are you sure she's really okay Edward? Are you okay with all of this?" Angela asked nervously, biting her lip.

"Of course Ang! We're both very happy for you and Ben."

"I know…but it's just you and Bella-"

I held up my hand and cut her off, "Don't you worry about it Angela. You and Ben deserve this just as much as anyone else, and we're extremely happy for you."

Angela bit her lip for a few seconds more, as if deciding whether or not she could believe me. Apparently she did because he smile grew wide and she hugged me again. We pulled away from each other grinning widely and turned to face Ben and Bella, whose wide smiles matched Angela's and my own.

"You guys are going to be great parents," Bella said, as she walked back to my side, and Angela went to Ben's.

Just then Alice came skipping up to all of us and laced and arm through my free one.

"Edward, I just realized we forgot to pack the bottled water. Can you and Bella go get some? There's a Safeway or a Foodland or something supposedly right up the street."

"Oh, sure," I glanced down at Bella, "You want to go love?"

I saw her hesitate briefly, but her gaze was locked on E.J. as he sat perched on top of my father's shoulders wearing Jasper's aviators.

"We'll keep a good eye on him Bella," Alice chuckled.

"Okay," Bella said softly, "Do we need anything besides water?"

"Nope!" Alice chirped, "Just the water. Now scoot! Before you guys end up missing all of the prime sunshine!"

Bella and I both chuckled at that. We were both so fair that prime sunshine would just result in Bella and I turning quite red no matter how much sunscreen we both put on. We were quick to remind Alice and my mother that E.J. needed plenty of sunscreen and both made sure to reassure us that they would apply and re-apply it to him.

Bella and I took the car that Ben had driven out and soon we were off up the road to find the market. Bella was silent as she looked out the window, but she was holding my hand, and I had to rejoice in that small victory. I really had to wonder what the women said to her and I was equally surprised that she was taking the news of Angela's preg-

My thoughts were cut off from me by a loud sniffle that Bella tried in vain to quiet. When I glanced over to her, she was covering her eyes with her free hand and I could see her shoulders shaking slightly. Her grip on my hand tightened and my heart broke. She wasn't taking this well at all.

"Bella?" No response.

"Bella?" I tried again. She simply shook her head back and forth. I found a rather empty parking lot to the left and pulled into, quickly parking and turning off the car.

"Bella? Love, please talk to me."

She tried to speak but it just came out in a jumbled up mess of her making monosyllabic sounds and sobs. I could take the console in between us and I got out of the car, momentarily hearing her sobs increase. When I opened the door to her side of the car, her head snapped up and she tried to protest when I picked her up and carried her into the backseat with me, keeping her in my lap. She started to sob again as I held her and rocked her back and forth, running my hand up and down her back.

I don't know how long we sat there like that, and I was briefly surprised when no one called to see where we were. Then I remembered the shared look between Alice and Jasper in the lobby this morning and knew that the sneaky pixie had planned all of this just so Bella and I would get our time alone to talk. Bella's sobs had quieted and turned into soft sniffles.

"I'm sorry Edward," she finally whispered.

"Bella, love, talk to me…" I said, slowly cupping her chin and bringing her eyes up to meet my own. I saw the remorse in her eyes and I knew Bella always tried to be the strong one. It made me chuckle when we were younger. She cried so easily, but always tried her hardest to be strong in front of me.

"I…I really am happy for Angela and Ben…" she said softly, "I just…I can't help but wish…wish it was us…"

"Oh love," I sighed, "It will be soon."

I was stunned by my own confidence in my voice. After the brief, yet reassuring, conversation with the guys in the car on the drive out here, I knew that there was still hope for Bella and I. Soon enough, we would either know if she was pregnant, or we would know what steps we would have to take if she couldn't have another child.

"I just don't know what the problem is…"

It was so soft I might have missed it if she wasn't curled up on my lap. She didn't KNOW what the problem is? My heart soared at her admission and I dared to hope that meant that there wasn't something physically wrong. Unfortunately, I didn't know if she had been to the doctor recently or not.

"Did…um…have you seen a doctor?"

Bella nodded as she looked up at me, the remorse and sadness still there in her eyes. "I went the day before Valentine's Day. The doctor said everything was physically fine and I was in perfect shape to have a baby."

I was immediately relieved by her words. That meant Bella was physically fine. I knew then that my father was probably right. Bella was putting too much pressure and stress on herself to get pregnant and it was affecting her body.

"Love…I…I think you…you're putting too much pressure on yourself about all of this. The stress can't be good for your body. Plus-"

My thought cut off immediately. I was going to say, "Plus, it takes two to tango as they say", but I was reminded of something. Bella had gone to the doctor and she was healthy…but what if it was me? What if I was the problem? My eyesight was good and I was checked for that regularly, but what about the rest of me? I never tested whether or not my fertility was healthy or not. I never thought I would need to. At that point, I didn't think I would ever see Bella again. What if something during the surgery affected me? What if some drug had some side affect?

"Edward? Edward, look at me. What is it?"

Bella's small hands were on my cheeks and she was frantically searching my eyes for wherever my mind had just taken me. I snapped them shut and started shaking my head.

"Oh Bella…what if it's me? What if I'm the problem? What if I'm the reason you can't get pregnant?"

"What? Edward, no! That-"

"What if something happened during the surgery? What if there was some side affect I never knew about? You were pregnant before I had the surgery. I never exactly checked to see if my fertility had been affected or not. I never thought I would have a reason to."

My head fell back against the headrest. What if it really was me?

"Edward, look at me."

I couldn't lift my head. This was too heavy and too much.

"Look at me!"

I was startled when Bella's hands pulled my head up to look at her and I was met with nothing but sheer determination.

"Edward, we don't know that it's you and it may very well be me being too stressed out about all of this. I…I think we…we should just wait until we get back to New York and go from there. We'll both go get checked out at the doctor to make sure okay? After that we'll decide what to do."

I was stunned to see how quickly Bella's emotions had changed. There it was, her selfless personality doing everything in her power to take care of me before she took care of herself. She was pushing her problems to the side to take care of mine just like she had always done. I sighed and pushed my forehead into her neck, nuzzling the space there.

"Okay Bella. I'm sorry about all of this…"

I was completely unprepared to hear her start laughing. My head snapped up and I looked at her completely confused.

"Oh Edward," she sighed, stroking my cheeks softly, "Don't apologize. Only minutes ago you were comforting me while I was blaming myself over all of this. Let's…let's just enjoy or escape here in paradise. We'll face everything when we get back to New York."

"Okay," I nodded.

Bella smiled at me and stroked my cheeks again softly before pressing her lips to mine gently. I let myself relax into the kiss and let her deepen the kiss when her tongue softly brushed against my bottom lip. We lost ourselves in the kiss and I couldn't stop my body from reacting. It had been a while since Bella and I had last been intimate, and sitting in my lap, she felt it. She pulled away from my lips chuckling.

"We should probably get the water and head back."

I pouted and stuck my lip out. Bella laughed and my whole body felt alive again. She placed another quick kiss on my lips before pulling back and moving to open the door.

"Two more days," she whispered before sliding out of the car. It didn't miss my attention at all that she was referring to her monthly visitor. I said a silent thank you to whoever decided that Bella would have short periods and climbed out of the car awkwardly due to my present condition. I saw Bella laughing as I danced around and tried to rearrange myself as I sort of waddled back to the driver's side of the car.

"Not funny," I huffed as I started the car back and headed towards the market.

"Sort of funny…" Bella giggled.

I couldn't help but let a smile crack my lips. It felt great to be just laughing and being happy with Bella. I felt like it had actually been a while since we felt so carefree and young. I couldn't help but hope that this feeling would extend until forever…that when we got back to New York, nothing would be wrong and we would somehow be able to move on towards whatever future that was meant for us.

The day passed by in a blur after that. We spent a few hours at Shark's Cove watching E.J. and Nessie explore the little tide pools. When all of our stomachs were grumbling we headed off and ate at this small place Ted's that had some delicious food and were well known for their pie. The rest of the afternoon was spent at Waimea Bay.

Bella protested heavily when I went with Jasper, Ben, Jake, and Seth to jump off a very large rock formation that was at the left hand side of the bay. It was a pretty decently high jump and Bella looked on worriedly as I jumped off into the air. The rush was incredible and when I broke through the surface of the water I saw Bella's hand cover her heart and her shoulders start to heave, like she was holding her breath for a long time. E.J. ran to me as I came out of the surf and said he wanted to try. Bella promptly shut him down, but I instead let him jump off my shoulders into the ocean. I was able to get Bella into the water for a little bit and we cuddled in the waves with her legs wrapped around my waist. Her little blue bikini was simple in color and design, but the cut of it seemed to be tailor made for her. I wouldn't be surprised if it was made for her by Alice. Every curve and dip of her body was enhanced and it was incredibly hard for me to remain under control.

On the ride home, the cars were shuffled around again. Angela, Ben, and Alice rode while Jasper drove one car. Jacob drove Seth, Sue, and Nessie, and my father drove the rest of us. My father and mother talked quietly amongst themselves in the front seats while E.J. fell asleep curled up between Bella and I. Occasionally Bella would lean over and kiss me softly. It didn't too long for her to follow into dreamland after E.J. though.

When we arrived back at our hotel everyone seemed to tired to put in any effort to get together to eat in a restaurant together. We all agreed that we would just order room service and would see each other the next day. E.J. was so exhausted he didn't even stir and I had to carry him out of the car and up to our room. We ordered him a macaroni & cheese, and just like his father, stirred at the smell of food.

Our time together in the room was enjoyable and E.J. seemed to get a second wind and wanted to swim in the pool before it closed for the night. Bella agreed since it was so warm at night here and the three of us trekked down to the pool together. I was impressed that E.J. swam so well at the age of 6. I didn't think that there were many kids his age who could, but maybe that was just me. We spent maybe an hour down there swimming, me chasing around Bella and E.J. through the water and the two of them attempting to dunk me and failing. Our family felt so complete and our time together made me happier than I could remember being in a while.

E.J. protested a bit when we went back upstairs and I gave him a bath, but he passed out as soon as he was under the covers. Bella had showered while I was tucking E.J. in and had caught me while I was watching him sleep. He always looked so peaceful and like there wasn't a thing in the world that could trouble him. It gave me peace of mind to watch him sometimes. Bella wrapped her arms around my shoulders and together we watched him sleep, both of our minds no doubt on what had happened today. While I was going to make the most of our last few days here in paradise, in the back of my mind I was still worried about what we would face when we finally made it back to New York.

**Well? Yes? No? I'm sorry it's been so long between updates. Real life, influenza, school crap…bleh! But hey, at least I'm on Christmas break now. Hmmm…I wonder what will happen once they finally make it back to New York? One more chapter in Hawaii, and then we're hitting the home stretch. :- )**

**Let me know what you think (good or bad) pretty please? I never seem to really know what people are thinking about this story. I'll try to have the next one out soon. **


	29. Chapter 28: I'm Yours

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Thank you for reading and for reviewing! It does make me smile knowing people are still reading this. I hope you all are enjoying the festive times. I know I am. :- ) **

**This is another short chapter, but I think some of you all that have been missing the citrus will be happy. I figured we needed a nice happy chapter before they headed back to New York.**

**The song is by another Hawaiian band and you can find them and this song on iTunes. And I had to laugh hysterically earlier…yesterday I was walking around the hotel I have Bella, Edward, & friends staying at. Heh…good inspiration for this story.**

_**Let the world know I'm yours, I'm yours**_

_**Could you hear it in my voice**_

_**See it in my eyes**_

_**That I'm yours **_

_**Forever will I hold you in my arms**_

_**God knows we will never ever part**_

_**Oh no matter what the season brings**_

_**Every season I am yours**_

_**I'm yours, I'm yours**_

_**No matter what the season brings**_

_**No matter what this season brings**_

_**I'm yours**_

_**-Opihi Pickers, "I'm Yours"**_

Chapter 28: I'm Yours

_**BPOV**_

"So you and Edward seem to have made up."

Alice's statement had caught me relatively off guard. Our whole conversation in the car and our mutual seeming breakdowns was two days ago, but no one had approached either one of us about it until now. Edward was currently with the men, two children, Esme, and Sue at the Honolulu Zoo while I was with Alice and Angela shopping at Ala Moana Shopping Center.

"Um…" I bit my lip, "Yeah, we're fine."

"Good!" She chirped as she seemingly glided to another rack of clothing in Nordstrom, "I knew you guys would work everything out as soon as you got some time alone."

I nodded as I continued to browse through the racks of men's clothing we were currently looking at. I had a black pinstripe shirt on my arm for Edward and was looking at a plaid, sort of cowboy-ish looking red, white, and blue shirt. I couldn't believe that we were only going to have one more day tomorrow and then we were heading back to New York. Though we agreed not to talk or think about things relating to my lack of pregnancy, I couldn't help but be worried. What if there was something wrong with Edward? What if something happened during the surgery? What if something happened to me since I was checked out? What if-

"Where did Angela go?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts and shook my head, scolding myself internally. Edward and I had promised each other that we wouldn't think negatively and wouldn't dwell anymore while we were here in Hawaii. I glanced around. Sure enough, Angela wasn't with us anymore.

"I don't know," my brows furrowed. Alice and I started walking towards the men's shoes when we saw Angela coming from the opposite direction, a cup of something in her hand. She blushed and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry you guys. I really, really wanted something cold and the gelato bar sounded too good to pass up."

"And you went without us," Alice pouted.

"Like you need any more sugar in you," I teased, "Though gelato does sound amazingly good."

We headed back towards the gelato bar, pausing briefly at the children's section. Angela was practically swooning over all of the baby stuff, though she was trying her best to hide it. I knew she was doing it for my benefit, and well I did feel a mild pang of jealousy in my heart, I was really happy for she and Ben. They had looked after E.J. numerous times for me before Edward and I had found each other again, and they were going to be great parents to some very lucky boy or girl. After promising we could come back to this section afterwards, Alice led the way to the gelato bar.

Angela settled into a seat with her one scoop each of chocolate and raspberry gelato. I soon joined her with my strawberry and chocolate, and Alice plopped down next to us with just a chocolate cup. It was so creamy and sweet and delicious, I almost moaned out loud in delight.

"So Bella," Alice started, "big plans for you and Edward tonight?"

I almost choked on the gelato I had in my mouth. After Edward and I had made up a couple of days ago, Sue insisted that she watch E.J. tonight and let Edward and I celebrate our last few nights here. My period had ended yesterday, and I was more than looking forward to spending some time with Edward with no worries. I still couldn't help but let my mind drift towards the possibilities of what could wait for us when we got back to New York.

"Bella, where'd you go just now?" Angela said, placing her cup on the table.

"Oh!" I jumped, "Um…it was noth-"

"DO NOT say 'nothing' Isabella Marie Swan!" Angela practically growled, "I know you better than that, now spill!"

I stared blankly for a few seconds. I think Angela was spending just a little too much time with Alice lately. I could tell Alice must've been thinking the same thing as she tried to hide a smirk behind her hand. I couldn't help but sigh, deciding I needed to tell someone other than Edward what I was scared of.

"It's just…we've been trying to get pregnant for weeks now. I went to the doctor before we started trying and he said that I was perfectly healthy and in prime condition to have a baby. I just…when we talked a few days ago, Edward raised the point that it might be him. That something might be wrong with him. That maybe something happened to him in the surgery and now he can't have children. I'm just so scared. I don't want it to turn out to be something serious!"

"Bella! Bella, breathe…it's going to be okay," Alice said, quickly reaching across the table and grasping my hand, "Also remember that you've been putting so much stress on yourself to get pregnant. All of the stress and pressure can't be good for your body."

"Bella, everything will be okay. Even if Edward is sterile, there's still other options," Angela said gently.

"I know," I sniffled, feeling those damn traitor tears of mine starting to collect, "I just…I want him to be 100% healthy you know? I just want Edward to have the perfect life he deserves."

"And you don't think he has that already?" Alice scoffed, "Bella, to Edward, this is the perfect life. Having you and E.J. in his life has made it perfect these past few months. If you guys continue to add to your family, it'll just add to the perfection in his eyes. Edward loves you more than anything in this whole world, aside from E.J. You make his life perfect Bella."

"I-"

"Bella, you didn't see him before you came back. I know that you've heard this all before, but trust me when I say that you are his life now…you and E.J. both, and any other little bundle of joy that may come along."

Alice was grinning widely at me and I couldn't help but smile back in return at both she and Angela. I felt better telling them about what I was scared about. Edward and I had made the agreement not to talk about it again until we got back to New York, but I felt so much better now that I had gotten things off of my chest. Soon we were walking out of the gelato bar and Alice stopped us, looking to her left.

"Ladies, I say we pick out some little surprises for our men."

Of course, the lingerie section. I hadn't packed any since E.J. was staying in the room right next to us and Edward and I probably would've taken no time for romance or foreplay and just gotten busy as quickly as possible. I had to admit, for once, I was willingly agreeing with Alice. I picked out a lacy blue set since I knew Edward seemed to love me in blue. The bra and panty set was a pale blue with navy and cream lacing around it. I hoped that Edward would love it.

We continued to browse around the mall. It was huge and open aired, and I loved the feeling of the sun on my skin. We went to a couple of the surf stores and bought more things for our boys. I got Emmett a shirt that said "Eh, I not late. I stay on Hawaiian time." The boy in the store explained to me that it was a sort of known that local people were very relaxed and laid back, and as a result were often late to things. I wasn't so sure I understood his explanation fully, but it sounded like something Emmett would find funny. I found a onesie for Rosalie that said "Lil' Surfer" on it and figured she would love it. She and Emmett were waiting to find out what they were having. She was due at the end of May.

Thankfully, we had driven a car over to the mall because between the three of us, there was no way we would've been able to carry all of our bags if we caught a taxi or took the trolley that ran through Waikiki. When I got back up to the room I called Edward. He said they were all eating some "shave ice" (as we were told they were NOT called "snow cones" here by Ryan, the young man who worked at the front desk of our hotel) and they would be back shortly. I decided a nap would be good since I planned on not sleeping very much tonight. I couldn't help but let a wide smile spread across my face as I fell into a deep sleep.

It seemed like it had only been mere seconds before I felt soft kisses being peppered across my face and I heard E.J.'s little giggle.

"Daddy! Not in front of me!"

I couldn't help but smile and I heard Edward chuckle as his lips pressed firmly against my own. I returned it fully despite our son's squeals of protest. Soon enough I felt a small body join Edward and I on our bed and E.J.'s extra weight on top of me. Edward laughed and rolled over as E.J. laughed loudly.

"You're squishing me Daddy!"

I opened my eyes and sat up, laughing as Edward lay on his back on top of E.J. I saw E.J.'s crazy hair sticking up behind Edward's shoulders and I saw little hands moving frantically trying to push Edward away.

"Daddy! No fair!"

"Do you hear something Bella?" Edward laughed. I smiled. E.J. loved to jump on Edward and wrestle with him. I couldn't help but love watching them when they did. It was just something that was so…so father & son about it that I loved.

I laughed, "Come on you two. We should get ready for dinner."

Edward pouted and I heard E.J. shout "Mommy!" I stood and went over to my bag but not before I heard Edward get up off the bed. When I turned around I saw E.J. leap from the bed onto Edward's back.

"GOTCHA!"

I shook my head and laughed so hard my stomach hurt as I watched Edward "give up" and E.J. tackled him to the bed again. My heart swelled with the love I had for my boys. I shook off the nagging feeling I had about the possibility that there was something wrong with Edward. I snapped out of it when E.J. proudly proclaimed his victory over Edward to me.

"I got him Mommy!"

I watched as E.J. went tumbling off the bed, and I couldn't stop myself from lurching forward as he did so. I still panicked every time I saw him stumble. He had unfortunately inherited that trait from me. Laughing and quickly standing, E.J. ran to me and threw his arms around my waist.

"I tackled him Mommy! Did you see?"

I smiled down at him and nodded. "I saw buddy. Why don't you go get ready for your shower and I'll be in to help you in a bit okay?"

"Okay!"

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I turned around to look at Edward. I really shouldn't have. He was lying there on his side, propped up on his elbow, smirking at me with that crooked grin of his. I had to do everything in my power to keep from going any closer. I would surely jump him and I'm pretty sure he knew it.

"I…I need to go help E.J…" I trailed off.

Before I knew what happened Edward was on his feet and had me wrapped up in his arms and his lips were everywhere. I gasped and I could barely catch my breath.

"Ed…Edward…"

He growled as his lips sucked at my neck, "I haven't seen you all day."

"Later Edward…later…I promise…" I panted as he pressed his hips into mine and I felt his obvious excitement.

"I'm going to hold you to that," Edward panted as he rested his forehead against my own.

"I promise," I whispered. With another growl Edward placed another kiss on my neck and let me go, swatting my butt as I went. I sighed. Tonight couldn't seem to get here fast enough.

We all went out to eat at this restaurant called Tanaka of Tokyo. Their chefs cooked in style that we were told was called "teppan-yaki" and they used table top grills and did all the cooking right in front of us. E.J. and Nessie got a huge kick out of it, and I'm not going to lie, I was incredibly entertained as well. The chef made a volcano for E.J. and Nessie out of onion slices and lit it on fire. The fountain of flames was at least two feet high and ALL of us ooh-ed and ah-ed at that. The food was also delicious and it really was a good way to wrap up our vacation. Tomorrow night we were heading to a luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center.

E.J. was incredibly excited to be spending the night with Nessie, Alice, and Jasper. Alice had all kinds of crafts planned for them. She spent a good part of the afternoon picking up materials for them to use tonight. I really hoped Jasper was okay with this. I asked him multiple times during dinner and he insisted he was fine. He didn't mind being "Mr. Whitlock" even though we were on vacation.

After sending E.J. off with Alice and Jasper, everyone else seemed to head their separate ways. I was admittedly a little nervous about tonight. Edward and I hadn't been intimate since we were in New York, and no matter how much my body wanted him, I was still nervous.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me?"

Edward looked so handsome in his khaki shorts and white button down there was no way I would have ever said no. Alice demanded I wear the teal dress that I had brought with us that she designed, and Edward had looked at me with that hunger in his eyes all night after he saw me step out of the bathroom wearing it. I nodded and Edward laced his fingers through mine as he led us through the lobby and started heading down towards the beach. There was a nice breeze blowing through the air that was delightfully warm and wrapped around us in the most comforting way.

I relished in the smell of the clean air and the salty smell that combined with it. It was nice to smell air that wasn't heavy with exhaust or garbage as I found was all too common sometimes in New York City. Edward hadn't said anything as we walked, but he had a small smile on his lips. There was nothing I wanted to say in this moment either. Edward and I had always been comfortable in our silences and now was no exception. I had to wonder if he was thinking about the same things I was. E.J. was staying with Alice and Jasper for the night and we had the room to ourselves.

When we got to the beach Edward took off his slippers and I slipped off the ballet flats I had on and let my feet sink into the sand. I had to admit that the sand felt amazing slipping between my toes as Edward and I walked along. Before long Edward sat down in the sand and pulled me into his lap quickly. I squealed as I landed in his lap and Edward quickly placed a big kiss on my cheek. As I settled myself between his legs, I leaned back into his chest and let myself enjoy the scenery before me.

The moon was nearly full and the sky was clear, letting the moon shine brightly and leave a silvery-blue reflection on the water. The waves rippled and I could hear the faint crash against the shore. Edward's arms wrapped around my waist and I sighed contentedly as I heard him inhale deeply.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered.

"Not as beautiful as you my love," Edward whispered into my ear. I couldn't help but shiver as I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were dark and I could hear his breathing pick up. Before I could even blink his lips were on mine and my hand was buried in the hair and the nape of his neck. I couldn't stop the moan that bubbled up from my lips and Edward broke away, resting his forehead against mine.

"Let's go back to the room…"

"I thought you'd never ask," I panted.

I squealed as I was suddenly pulled up to my feet and Edward was nearly dragging me back towards the hotel. We were laughing loudly at each other's excitement and I tripped several times in our haste to get back to our room. I knew there was a bunch of different people that we had passed on our way to the elevators, who were staring at us like we were crazy, but I really couldn't have cared. The glint in Edward's eyes made me feel like a giddy teenager again as the elevator doors opened. I was beyond grateful that we were alone in the elevator because as soon as the doors closed, I found myself pressed up against the wall and Edward's hands and lips everywhere.

"Edward…" I moaned as his lips fastened themselves to my neck. I knew there was a security camera in here, but I was too worked up to even care. Edward moaned in response as he ground his rock hard arousal against my hips.

"You have no idea how badly I want you…" Edward all but growled against my skin. The tone of his voice made me shiver and I could feel myself getting wetter by the second.

When the elevator dinged and announced our arrival to our floor, Edward picked me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing myself closer to him. He groaned as I pressed myself against him tighter and let my lips attack his neck. I couldn't get enough of him and I felt like I was in some sort of Edward induced frenzy. Everything about him made me want to take him and never let him go. It had been far too long since I felt his bare skin pressed up against mine in the most delicious of ways.

"Fuck Bella..." Edward moaned as I nipped and sucked along the sharp angle of his jaw.

"That's what we'll do as soon as you get the door open…" I whispered, earning another groan from Edward before I found myself pressed up against our door and felt him fumbling to get the key out of his pocket. When the door finally clicked open, I felt like I was flying as Edward practically ran through the hall and into our bedroom.

"Wait…wait…" I panted, as I felt Edward's hands tugging at the straps of my dress. He was breathing hard when he finally pulled back to look at me. His eyes were wild and lustful, and his hands gripped my hips tightly. I carefully walked us over to the bed and pushed Edward down to sit. He looked at me confused, as I stepped back.

"Just wait…" I whispered.

His eyes stayed fixed on me as I slowly began to unzip the back of my dress and slip the straps slowly from my arms. I turned when they were near my elbows and let my back face Edward. My face felt like it was on fire. The only other time I had done something like this for Edward was thwarted on Valentine's Day, when he took over and insisted on having his way that night. I heard Edward gasp as I let the dress fall to the floor and exposed the pale blue, navy, and cream lingerie set I had bought this afternoon. I turned to look over my shoulder at him, and I saw his chest heaving while his hands were fisted tightly into the sheets, like he was doing everything in his power to stay there.

I couldn't help but smirk as I turned around and reached back to unclasp the bra. I popped the snap and it was my turn to gasp when I suddenly felt Edward's large hands on my stomach and his hot breath in my ear.

"Please…" His voice was practically begging, "Let me…"

I nodded and barely contained my gasp as Edward's hands began to slide up my stomach and underneath my now loosened bra. My nipples were instantly hard as his hands grazed over them and his voice was in my ear again, heavy with want.

"You're so beautiful my Bella…so, so beautiful."

I gasped loudly as Edward's hands moved up to my shoulders, sliding my bra down my arms and pressing my back against his body. I could feel his arousal pressing long and hard into my back, and I practically whimpered. It had been far too long.

I watched as Edward kept one hand massaging one of my breasts and the other removed my bra from me. I could feel Edward smirk against my skin as he held the bra up in front of us.

"Definitely keep this one. The colors look phenomenal against your skin."

"Edward…" I moaned as he began to suck on my neck.

"Mmmm…as much I liked seeing it on you, you look even better with it off."

Edward slowly began turning my body around to face him, his hands gliding over the now overheating flesh of my stomach and back. When I was facing him again, he cupped one of my cheeks and pulled it up to look at him. His gorgeous green eyes were filled with nothing but love and I couldn't help but be slightly overwhelmed by the look in his eyes. After everything we had went through in the past and even on this vacation alone, Edward was still here and he was still loving me.

"You look so beautiful Bella," he whispered before pressing his lips gently to mine. Him telling me I _looked_ beautiful got me every time. My hands slowly snaked up between us and came to rest on his chest, and he moaned as he deepened our kiss, letting his tongue dance with mine.

I slowly began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt and Edward broke our kiss, only to move to my neck. He let out a loud moan against my skin as my hands finally came into contact with his bare torso. I let my hands glide across the smooth skin as I pushed the flimsy material off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I moved my arms to wrap around Edward's back and he push us closer, our bare skin pressing against each other.

Edward groaned, his arousal trapped between us, pressing against my stomach, "Bella...Bella, I love you so much."

I shivered as he continued to suck on the base of my neck, knowing full well I would be sporting a mark tomorrow, but not finding it in me to care in the slightest. Edward's large hands splayed across my back as he smoothed them over my skin. I let out some unidentifiable sounds as Edward's hands moved under the waistband of my panties and cupped my ass fully. He almost lifted me off the ground as he pressed his hips into me. Slowly his hands began to tug the lacy material down my legs, and his lips descended as he went, nipping and sucking along my breasts and stomach, until he was lifting my feet to step out of the panties and I was nearly reduced to a liquid mass on the floor.

Edward scooped me up in his arms and soon I was met with the plush sheets of our bed, and his solid form hovering over me. His kiss was gentle and soft at first before he moved on to my jaw and throat. My hands found themselves going from being buried in his hair to gripping the muscles of his shoulders and back. My body burned everywhere that his lips touched and when I felt them where I was burning the most, I screamed in pure need.

Edward chuckled, "I love your sounds love…let me hear you…"

He certainly heard me. If I hadn't been told when we checked in that these suites had soundproof walls, I would've been embarrassed. If they weren't, I'm sure you could've heard me on the outer islands. I was panting heavily and completely unable to move a single limb as Edward crawled back up my body, his lips grazing ever so lightly across my skin. When he hovered centimeters away from my mouth, I summoned all the strength I could, and closed the distance between us. Edward moaned as our tongues danced and I tasted the true essence of myself mixed with him. He broke our kiss panting heavily, his arousal pressing into my thigh.

"God Bella…" he groaned, "I don't think there's a more beautiful site in this world than you when you lose yourself."

I chuckled softly, "I beg to differ."

Pushing him lightly on his shoulders, Edward got the idea and rolled over on to his back. There was truly no more beautiful sight in this world to my eyes, than Edward Cullen. He inhaled sharply as I settled my legs on either side of his waist. I knew he could feel the still damp apex of my thighs on him. I slowly leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, releasing them quickly and moving to press kisses along his jaw until I reached his ear.

"Edward my love," I whispered, "There is nothing more beautiful in this world than making love to you and watching you lose yourself, and knowing that when you look at me, you can see all the love I have for you."

I pulled back and Edward's hands were immediately cupping my cheeks as we stared at each other, green locking with brown. It didn't matter that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and ran from him. It didn't matter that I had hurt him almost beyond repair. It didn't matter that there were countless times where I thought he didn't want me anymore. We were still here and we were still together. There was nothing in this world that could keep Edward and I apart. Our love wouldn't let it.

"I love you Isabella Swan," Edward whispered, stroking my cheeks softly.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

With that, he crushed our lips together and rolled us so I was now pinned beneath his body. I whimpered When Edward sat up and hastily pulled off his remaining clothing. I gasped when his ever impressive erection sprang free. I swear, I will never get used to this sight of him naked before me. He smirked at me like he knew what I was thinking, and crawled back up my body, slowly laying his weight down upon me.

"I love you Bella…I love you…"

Edward repeated the three words that meant more to me than any other in the English language as he slowly began to push forward. I gasped every time he pushed into me the first time. I felt complete and I felt an overwhelming sense of home. Edward continued his whispers of love as we slowly began to rock with each other. It was almost more overwhelming than the first time we had sex after our years apart. I seemed to feel everything, hear everything, see everything…I whimpered as Edward began to pick up his pace, his breath becoming harsher and more ragged.

"Edward…I love you…I love you…" I moaned as I began to feel that all too familiar tightening in my stomach.

"My Bella…Oh my Bella…"

"I'm yours…Oh…I…I…I'm yours!" I cried, feeling my orgasm beginning to take over.

"Mine…mine!" Edward growled as my world exploded. I cried out as my fingers dug into his muscles, and Edward moaned loudly, thrusting twice more and stilling, burying his face in my neck.

Nothing but the sounds of our ragged breathing could be heard in the room as I let my hands run across Edward's back and comb through his hair. The only light in the room came from the balcony window and the moon was at its fullest, casting the room in a silvery blue glow. As our breathing went back to normal, Edward slowly rolled off of me. I whimpered every time he slipped out of me…part of me feeling like I wasn't complete.

We rested on our sides as we gazed at each other in the moonlight. Neither of us said anything as our hands slowly smoothed over each other. I couldn't help but smile as I stared at him, taken in every feature that made up the man that I wanted to spend eternity with. Edward slowly reached up and brushed his finger tips across my cheek.

"I could never tell you enough," He whispered, "I love you Bella."

He scooted forward so our bodies were flush against each other and I felt him hard and ready against my stomach. I tilted my head up and found his lips easily as he hitched my leg over his hip and moaned as he entered me smoothly.

"I love you Edward…always…"

"Always my beautiful Bella…always…"

I swear there was a pinkish orange hue in the sky, when I finally lay my head on Edward's chest, round four or five (I lost count) finished. Edward pulled the blanket up to our waists as we lay in each other's arms. One of his hands traced the line of my spine, as I let one of mine run through the smattering of hair on his chest.

"I wish I could paint you like this…" Edward murmured.

"Hm?" I asked, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"You look so beautiful right now. The pinks and oranges on your skin, the red in your hair…your creamy skin…so beautiful…"

I sighed and snuggled myself deeper into Edward's chest. Tomorrow was the last day of our vacation and then we would return to New York and the real world. I knew with Edward at my side, I'd be prepared to face anything that came our way, good or bad.

"I love you Edward Cullen," I whispered, before I felt sleep overtake me.

The last thing I heard before I was bathed in peaceful darkness sounded like "I love you Bella Cullen…"

**Well? Yes? No? I hope that was some nice lemony goodness for you all. Back to NYC next chapter. I wonder what is waiting for them there…You'll have to wait until 2010 to find out. :-P Have a happy new year! I'll be the last in the world celebrating it in Hawaii. :- )**

**Let me know what you think (good or bad) pretty please? And hey, if for nothing else, wish me a happy birthday! Today, I am now officially the same age as Jackson Rathbone again. :-P Damn…quarter of a century…**


	30. Chapter 29: My Love

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Happy New Year all and thank you for the birthday wishes! Thank you also for the reviews and just for reading. Hmmm…now let's see what waits for our couple back in NYC. Song lyrics…why, I believe they are a big hint. :- ) And yeah, my musical tastes go all over the place. Thank God he left *Nsync behind…**

_**If I wrote you a symphony,**_

_**Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do)**_

_**If I told you you were beautiful**_

_**Would you date me on the regular **_

_**Well, baby I've been around the world**_

_**But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you)**_

_**This ring here represents my heart**_

_**But there's just one thing I need from you (say "I do")**_

_**Yeah, because**_

_**I can see us holding hands**_

_**Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand**_

_**I can see us on the countryside**_

_**Sitting on the grass, laying side by side**_

_**You could be my baby, let me make you my lady**_

_**Girl, you amaze me**_

_**Ain't gotta do nothing crazy**_

_**See, all I want you to do is be my love**_

_**-Justin Timberlake feat. T.I., "My Love"**_

Chapter 29: My Love

_**BPOV**_

I couldn't believe that a month had passed since we had all returned from our trip to Hawaii. Rosalie pretty much demanded that we share every detail of the trip and all of the pictures that went with it. I thought she was going to punch me in the face when I told her about how I had reacted when I found out I wasn't pregnant again. Then she almost cried when I told her that something might've been wrong with Edward. Fortunately her face brightened up immediately when I asked her how her trip with Emmett to the Hamptons was.

Rosalie's stomach was huge now, with only a month left to go. Emmett would reluctantly leave her in me and Angela's care when he had to go to work during the week. The past month had been crazy to say the least. Alice was overrun with demands at the store and InStyle Magazine wanted to do a feature on her. Emmett was busy opening up a second location of his gym on the Upper East Side. Jasper was busy doing end of the year reviews for his students. And Edward…oh my Edward…apparently his popularity had grown exponentially while we were gone on vacation and now the Museum of Modern Art was asking him to put together a showcase of his work. Edward was working overtime trying to fulfill the demands at the store with Alice and also prepare for his showcase that was to take place in the beginning of June. And me, well, between trying to find time to spend with E.J. and Edward, plus our friends, my publishers were hounding me for my next book.

When we returned from Hawaii, Edward made an appointment with his doctor right away and I made one with mine as well. Fortunately we found that nothing was wrong with Edward and he was 100% healthy. I think my sigh of relief could have been heard on the other side of the world. As for me, I was perfectly healthy as well. When I sheepishly confessed to the doctor how stressed I was trying to get pregnant, she clucked her tongue at me and told me the stress was not good for my body and that was probably what was contributing to it. She suggested I put it out of my mind and just enjoy the baby making process. I think Edward and I were both the color of tomatoes when she said that.

Unfortunately, Edward and I had been so busy, we didn't have many moments to enjoy the said process. It was mostly rushed quickies, stolen moments after E.J. was asleep or before Edward went to work after taking E.J. to school. At night we were both usually so exhausted that we just fell into bed in each other's arms.

I couldn't complain though. I was incredibly proud of Edward and couldn't have been happier that he was getting the recognition he deserved for his work. I usually wrote all day while Edward was at work. He had taken to painting at the store as well, just so he could be there to help Alice. However, when E.J. was home and awake, Edward always took the time to be with him. He would help him with his homework or his baths. He would teach him the piano, and sometimes at night when Edward was working on his paintings, I would sneak in to watch him, only to find that E.J. would be sitting there as well, drawing or reading or playing with some toys. Anything to be close to his father.

Today I was mulling over possible outlines for my next book. One was about a baseball player with a shady past, and another, the one I was leaning more towards, was a psychological/supernatural romance. I shut my laptop and rubbed my temples. Rosalie was sitting on my couch, her feet propped up and looking at the flyers she, Angela, and I had printed up for a fundraiser at Jasper's school. It was parents only, and it was a Prom theme to help raise money for the school. Sue was coming into town tomorrow, and she was going to watch Nessie and E.J. for us all when we went to the fundraiser.

I sighed. A night with Edward alone…I felt like we hadn't had one of those since we were in Hawaii.

"What's up Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Hm?" I looked up, putting my laptop on the table.

"All the sighing and the glazed over looks at the wall. Where's your head at?"

I shrugged, "It just feels nice to breathe. I feel like we've all been so busy lately. I'm really looking forward to the fundraiser this weekend."

"I wish I was busy! All I do is sit here all day, looking like a giant whale!"

"Oh Rosalie," Angela sighed, "If you think you're a whale, just wait until I'm 8 months! I'm having twins!"

When Ben and Angela came back from the trip, they got the shock of their lives when they went to the doctor and found out Angela was pregnant with twins. At three months, she was already showing big time.

"Come on Rose," I sighed, pushing away any bitter feelings I was having, "You've seen the pictures of me when I was having E.J."

"Yeah well, at least you didn't have to look for a prom dress when you were 8 months pregnant."

"Yes, well, we all have that wonderful Alice Brandon to thank for your dresses!"

All of our head whipped towards the front door and I instantly smiled. This was my favorite part of the day. There stood Alice and Edward, with E.J. hanging off his back.

"Thank the lord for that!" Rosalie cried, raising her hands in the air. Alice giggled and skipped towards the couch, settling herself between Angela and Rosalie, looking over the flyers. My eyes, stayed glued to the most important men in my life. Edward gave me his signature crooked grin as he stepped closer and bent down, pressing his lips to mine. Since E.J. was on his back, his shout was directly in both of our ears.

"Not in front of me!"

Edward chuckled as he pulled back and pressed a kiss to my forehead. When I looked up, my two boys grinned back at me, identical crooked grins on their faces.

"Hi Mommy!" E.J. said happily as he bounced. Edward let him down and he immediately scampered over and crawled into my lap.

"Hi baby," I said softly as I kissed his head and ran a hand through his crazy hair, "How was school?"

As I listened to E.J. tell me about his day, I noticed Edward in the doorway of the kitchen, talking quietly on his cell phone, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. This weekend really couldn't get here soon enough in my opinion. Edward looked like he was stressed out and we both needed that time to just be with each other.

It was late by the time Edward finally came to bed that night. I was sitting in bed working on an outline when Edward staggered into the room, covered in paint and immediately went into the bathroom, stripping his clothes as he went. He was naked by the time he closed the bathroom door and I was positively drooling. It had been a long time since we even had a quickie. While I was tempted to join him in the shower, I knew he needed to rest, and we'd get the chance this weekend. The purple bruise like circles under his eyes weren't getting any better, and I don't even think he noticed I was awake just now when he stumbled in here.

I turned off my computer and got off the bed, placing it on the small desk we had in here. I walked around, picking up the paint covered clothes he had discarded everywhere and threw them in the hamper. After his phone call, Edward took E.J. to the park, insisting that I have some girl time with the ladies. Alice had designed dresses for Rosalie and Angela to accommodate their ever growing bumps, but she insisted that I wear the blue prom dress that I had brought back from Forks. Alice said it was too pretty to not be worn again and Edward deserved to see me wearing it in all my glory.

Emmett, Ben, and Jasper all showed up later, each looking just as worn out as the rest of us. Everyone declined a dinner invitation, each couple excited to spend some private moments with each other. Edward and E.J. were still out when everyone left so I started us a simple dinner of some chicken stir-fry and rice. We had our nice family dinner, before Edward departed to his painting and E.J. and I watched some television before his bath. Edward took a break to help E.J. with his bath and tuck him in before giving me a searing kiss and disappearing back to his painting.

I heard the shower turn off as I went and lay back down in bed, my body feeling quite run down at the moment and ready for some sleep. Edward really must not have been aware that I was awake because he walked out of the bathroom with nothing on at all and stumbled over to his dresser, fishing out a pair of pajama pants and almost tripping over himself as he pulled them on. He walked over to the bed, and I had to try not to laugh as I saw the extremely perplexed look on his face.

"You're awake?"

I nodded.

"Christ Bella, I'm sorry…I'm just so tired…" Edward said as he flopped down on his stomach next to me, pushing himself up towards me with his legs.

"It's okay baby," I whispered, once his head lay next to mine, and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Mmmm…" he hummed as his eyes fluttered closed.

"Just relax baby," I murmured as I shifted my body and straddled his back.

"What're you-"

"Just relax baby, you're too tense," I said as I settled myself down on his lower back. Edward moaned into the pillows as I let my little hands work across the hard muscles of his shoulders. I worked the muscles in his shoulders and back, feeling them gradually loosen up. I didn't escape my attention that Edward's moans were softer, but consistent, his hands buried under the pillow near his head. As I moved my hands to his lower back and sat above his thighs, I heard the light sound of his snoring. My poor Edward. I smiled to myself as I moved off his legs and lay down on my side, just watching him.

Sleep was the only time that Edward had looked peaceful since we had returned. He was always painting, or desperately trying to spend time with E.J. and I, or murmuring into his cell phone talking to someone. Alice said he was working himself to death at the store too. I just prayed things would get easier once Edward's showcase was ready. He had to have it all ready by the middle of May.

I was startled when Edward shifted and I was suddenly pulled into his chest.

"My Bella…" Edward mumbled.

I smiled and let my fingers trace his sleeping lips softly.

"My Edward…" I whispered. I couldn't wait to have some time to ourselves this weekend.

Saturday came much sooner than I had expected. Once again, we were all divided up, the boys with the boys, and the girls with the girls. I had no idea what the men were all up to today. All Emmett said was "manly things" when I asked and Edward simply shrugged while E.J. giggled. Since I was apparently incompetent when it came to doing my make-up and hair, Alice was pretty much spoiling me today. Rose, Angela, and Sue were coming by later. Right now it was just Alice, Nessie, and I in the master bedroom.

In the middle of the day, a bouquet of white roses with tints of pink at the tips of their petals was delivered. The card was made out in Edward's elegant script and simply said "I Love You". I was extremely surprised that he had sent them, and I couldn't stop the butterflies that had taken flight in my stomach, at the possibilities of what could occur tonight.

Alice was currently giving me a French manicure as Nessie sat on my bed, playing dress up with some of my clothes. She looked so cute as she teetered side to side precariously in a pair of heels that I had forgotten I owned and the blue one shouldered dress I had worn to the "Love Story" movie premiere. As I watched her play, I let my mind briefly dream about what it would be like to have a daughter. I closed my eyes and chased those thoughts from my head. I didn't want to think about getting pregnant or anything tonight. Tonight, I just wanted to enjoy my time being wrapped up in Edward's arms, his voice whispering my name and his love across my skin.

"Okay!" Alice sang, "Let your fingers dry and I'm going to start on your toes."

I just nodded. Two days ago Alice showed up and kidnapped me (with the help of Rosalie and Angela) and we ended up at a spa and I succumbed to the ridiculous torture that is known to us females as Brazilian waxing. No matter how many times I said that I would never do it again, I always somehow ended up getting it done.

"Nessie, can you do Miss Alice a favor?"

I chuckled a little. Alice really did have a way with children. I just hoped she and Jasper would have a girl of their own someday. I don't know if Alice could handle a son. True, she adores E.J., but I think her dream really is to have a mini version of herself. I watched as Nessie stepped out of my heels carefully and then bounced over towards us. The dress that came up to a little above my knees was floor length on Nessie as she stopped and smiled at us, her dark eyes shining.

"Can you open up the closet and bring out the navy blue garment bag?"

"Okay!" Nessie smiled, bounding over to the closet. She really was one of the most adorable little girls. Jacob had done a fine job raising her, and Seth clearly adores her as well. I chuckled a little as Nessie came out of the closet, struggling to carry the garment bag that was clearly bigger than she was.

"Alice, I think she needs help."

Alice sprang up, much more gracefully than I ever could have done, and quickly helped Nessie carry my precious dress over to the bed. When I had found that dress back in high school, I distinctly remembered Angela telling me that it was so perfect on me that it deserved to be worn more than once.

My nails were dry and now Alice was working on my make-up, having set my hair to curl. Nessie was sitting on the counter swinging her legs and happily handing Alice each make-up tool she asked for. Angela and Rose were in the bedroom getting themselves ready. Angela looked stunning in the silver satin empire waist gown that Alice had designed for her. And of course, not to be out done, Rosalie, even 8 months pregnant, looked stunning in her red dress, the material floating around her making her look absolutely gorgeous. Alice had really outdone herself. Of course, her own dress was something else too. She had shown it to me when she first arrived this morning. It was a deep emerald green color and looked like it would have quite the train, and intricate beading seemed to be woven into the bust.

I was kind of in a daze as Alice finished getting me ready. Nessie had vacated to the bedroom where I could hear her telling Rosalie and Angela how beautiful they all looked. As Alice finished my hair, Sue arrived and joined us. I don't know how she did it, but Alice was made up and hair perfected in 10 minutes and slipping on her gown before I had even gotten mine out of the bag.

"It's time!" Alice sang as she glided out of the bathroom, her green dress falling perfectly down the length of her body.

My hands were nervously smoothing down my dress. True, Edward had seen me in the dress once before, but not when I was done up and looking like I was going to Prom.

"Everyone looks like princesses!" Nessie squealed clapping her hands, "Grandma Sue! Don't they look like princesses?"

Sue smiled and nodded, "They sure do Nessie. Should we go downstairs and see if their princes are here?"

"Yes!" Nessie clapped.

Sue picked up Nessie who clapped and was singing something that sounded an awful lot like "Someday My Prince Will Come" from "Snow White" as they disappeared around the corner. My hands nervously flitted across the bodice again and were suddenly caught in a soft grasp. When I looked up, Angela was standing there smiling at me. Rosalie and Alice had already left the room.

"Walk with me down the stairs Bella? Just like we did at Prom?" Angela asked me in a soft voice.

"Oh Ang…" I whispered, pulling her into a hug, "Did you ever think we'd all end up like this? That I'd ever wear this dress again for Edward?"

"I knew it would," She whispered back.

Our giddiness quite possibly rivaled that of which it was when Angela and I were actually going to our Prom senior year of high school. She has her arm threaded through mine as I hung on to the railing and lead us down into the living room. I heard the audible gasp and I knew that it was Edward's. When Angela and I finally reach the bottom of the stairs, I am reluctant to look up, but when I do, I see Ben whispering something into Edward's ear, and E.J. clutching to Edward's leg. Edward…sure he looks good in pretty much anything that he wears, but nothing in this world compares to him in a tux. _Except for maybe him in nothing at all…_I closed my eyes and blinked hard. Now was not the time for such thoughts.

E.J. came bounding forward and he grabbed my hand, "Mommy, you look like a princess again! But this time, like a real one! Like the big skirt and everything! You look so pretty!"

I bent down and kissed his hair softly, "Thank you baby."

Edward hadn't moved an inch since I looked up at him, his eyes were trained on me the entire time. In that moment, as I slowly walked up to him, it seemed like everything just slipped away. When we were just mere inches apart, Edward finally spoke.

"You look so beautiful Bella."

I blushed instantly at the words that never failed to get a reaction out of me. I lift a hand gently and smoothed back a wayward lock of hair from his forehead.

"You too Edward," I whispered. Slowly Edward wrapped me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine.

Our bubble burst by of course our son shouting that we weren't allowed to kiss like that in front of him. Edward leaned his forehead against mine and chuckled softly.

"Sorry buddy. I owe you."

I looked at Edward, puzzled by his words. He owed E.J.? Why? This was something new. I'd have to ask Daddy Edward just what he meant later. After saying goodbye to Sue and the children, the 8 of us piled into a limo for the short ride to the school. While we could have walked, Alice was having none of it, saying we needed the full Prom experience. That and Rosalie looked like she was ready to pop any minute even though she had a month to go, and she didn't want to waddle down the street. Angela wasn't complaining either. I wasn't exactly sure where Jake and Seth were. All Alice said was that they were meeting us there later.

The fundraiser was being held in the gym again, and Alice had been working herself like mad, both at the store and helping Jasper and the other teachers turn the gym into the romantic fantasy that we found ourselves walking into. It felt like we were in another world almost. Twinkle lights hung from the walls, fabric was draped romantically to cover the bleachers, gauzy midnight blue fabric covered and draped over the raised basketball rims, twinkling from intertwined lights, making it look like the night sky. Fake columns and fountains were dispersed around and it truly felt like an outdoor party somewhere in Europe. It sure as hell beat the Forks High Prom in 2002 and looked nothing like a gym.

Because Alice had been part of the planning crew, and Jasper was a teacher, we had arrived a little earlier than planned. However everything looked like it was set up and ready to go, so there wasn't much that we had to do. The men were helping move things around at the last minute while Alice walked around and checked out the decorations. I was sitting with Angela and Rosalie at our reserved table for the evening. I noticed there were four extra chairs there, but shrugged it off since there was 12 table settings at each table scattered across the room. Alice's voice drew me out from my observations.

"Bella!" Alice called, frantically waving me over. I rolled my eyes and Angela and Rosalie giggled. No doubt something wasn't perfect in Alice's eyes.

"Bella," Alice said as I reached her side, "The twinkle lights on that column over there are out. Can you do me a favor and go get one of the extra sets I have in Jasper's classroom?"

"Oh, sure. Do we need anything else from there?"

"Nope!" Alice chirped, "Just you coming back with the sparkly!"

I chuckled. Alice certainly had a way with words sometimes. I wandered down the empty hallways to Jasper's classroom, observing the artwork on walls as I went.

"Come back with the sparkly," I snorted as I reached Jasper's classroom and opened the door, walking inside. I froze about two feet in.

"Nessie? Sue?"

I was so confused as I looked around the classroom. Nessie sitting at a desk, and Sue sitting behind Jasper's. Surrounding the classroom were large canvas paintings. As I looked closer at them, I realized they were painted by Edward. Each one seemed to be depicting a significant moment of our lives, and twinkle lights were draped over all of them. The first was a swirl of greens and browns, the only other color, was a black pair of sunglasses being passed between two hands. The next was of a piano, with a large version of the necklace Edward had given me draped over it. The next one made me blush. It was of my bedroom in Forks and the corner where my old rocking chair sat. My blue prom dress draped over the arms, and pieces of a black tuxedo on the floor. The painting that I had bought from Edward's store was next, my portrait in all blues. The next one was a stunning painting of a devil and an angel, wrapped up in each other's arms, no doubt from our Halloween masquerade. The last one made me blush again. It was a woman lying in a bed, naked from the waist up, her bottom half covered by sheets, but beautiful mixtures of reds, pinks, and oranges played across the skin of her back and her hair. He had painted me just like he said he would.

I turned back to look at Sue and Nessie, neither one answering me, and I was still completely confused. I took a few steps closer and Sue looked up, but towards the door.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Cullen!"

I turned and watched as Sue made her way to the doorway. My mouth was gaping open. E.J. was standing in the doorway, his eyes covered with sunglasses, and a walking stick in his hands. Sue put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm Mrs. Meyer, Edward. You can take a seat next to Isabella."

My mind was reeling. "What…Sue…E.J.?"

I couldn't form any coherent sentences as E.J. walked past me moving his stick side to side and Sue went back to sit behind Jasper's desk. The only thought that I could form was that for some reason, they were acting out the first day of school when I met Edward back in 5th grade. I looked around the room, glancing back at the open classroom door, but no one else was there. I watched as E.J. sat down next to Nessie and I finally looked closer at what they both were wearing. E.J. was in a grey sweatshirt and jeans, not uncommon for him, but that was exactly was Edward was wearing the first day I met him. My breathing hitched when I looked closer at Nessie. She was wearing overalls and a red and white plaid shirt underneath, with her hair in pigtails and curled at the ends. It was exactly what I told Edward long ago, that I had been wearing the infamous day I beat the crap out of Mike Newton. E.J. began to speak then.

"Hi, my name is Edward Cullen."

"Hi," Nessie said softly, not looking up from her coloring.

"Your name is Isabella?" E.J. asked, his head facing straight ahead, but cocked to the side just like Edward used to do.

"Call me Bella. Please don't call me the mean nickname like the other boys do."

I brought my hand to my mouth. I couldn't even fathom why this was happening or what was going on really. Did they plan this?

"I'll call you Beautiful Bella? Is that better?"

"You think I'm beautiful?" Nessie asked, stopping to look at E.J.

"I know it…and one day, I'll be able to see for myself and I'll tell you every day."

I could feel the tears begin to gather in my eyes. I glanced around the room again. Sue was reading something in a folder and there was still no one else in sight.

"Will you be my best friend Beautiful Bella?"

"Okay Edward."

"I have to tell you Beautiful Bella, one day I'm going to ask you to marry me."

My breathing hitched.

"What am I going to say?" Nessie asked.

"I don't know…" E.J. said thoughtfully. His head turned then, and even though he had his sunglasses on, I knew he was looking at me. "What are you going to say Mommy?"

My eyes widened as E.J. took his sunglasses off, and he and Nessie both looked at me expectantly for an answer. I didn't know what to say.

"Beautiful Bella…"

I gasped, and turned around at the sound of the one voice I loved more than anything in this world. The tears immediately poured over my cheeks. There, kneeling on one knee before me was my Edward. My right hand immediately flew to cover my mouth as Edward slowly took my left hand in his, and reached into his pocket with his free hand.

"Beautiful Bella," Edward started again, "I have loved you since the first day I met you in Mrs. Meyer's 5th grade class. Our lives have proven that true love exists, and once it is found, nothing can keep it apart. Will you do me the honor of spending forever with me? Marry me, my Beautiful Bella."

Edward slowly drew his hand out of his pocket and produced the most gorgeous ring. The diamond was huge and round cut, with the band filled with multiple tiny diamonds going around.

"Oh God…" I sobbed, trying hastily to wipe away the tears on my cheeks.

"Bella…" Edward whispered, his eyebrows knitting up.

"YES!" I cried loudly, "Yes Edward Cullen!"

Edward's eyes immediately lit up, and his crooked smile spread across his face. I could vaguely register E.J. and Nessie's squeals of joy as Edward kissed my ring finger before sliding the gorgeous ring on. Before I even knew what was happening I was in Edward's arms and his lips were attacking mine.

"I love you," Edward whispered between kisses, "I love you so much my Beautiful Bella…"

I was momentarily startled by Alice's piercing squeal and Edward held me close to his chest as we turned and faced the door. Standing there was every single person that I held most dear to me. Jasper looked like he was barely holding Alice back from pouncing on both Edward and I. Rosalie had tears in her eyes as Emmett had his arms wrapped around her belly. Poor Angela had her face buried in Ben's chest, and Jake and Seth were both grinning widely. I gasped when they all parted and Esme and Carlisle stepped into the room.

"Surprise my love," Edward whispered in my ear. I turned and looked at him, a tear running down his own cheek. I pressed my lips to his cheek, wiping his tear away.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

E.J. was quickly in front of us, tugging on Edward's pant leg. Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips, before hoisting our son up. As he did this, the mob descended. Of course, Alice was first, wrapping me up in a hug that I swear was going to break my ribs. I smiled as I overheard E.J. asking Edward if he did a good job. Edward replied with, "you did perfectly."

Alice grabbed my left hand and squealed, "You definitely came back with the sparkly!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

I was sad to say goodnight to E.J. and Nessie since there were no children allowed at the fundraiser. I promised both a trip to Serendipity for frozen hot chocolate for helping in their roles in the most perfect proposal I could have ever asked for. Our night at the fundraiser was spent with good food, friends, and Edward and I stealing kisses from each other all night.

Apparently, the reason Edward was such a mess since we came back from Hawaii had little to do with his showcase in June. He had been trying to plan the perfect proposal. All the paintings that were in Jasper's classroom were ones that he worked feverishly on at the store once he came up with a plan. Alice helped him with finding the clothes for E.J. and Nessie, and Jasper eagerly offered up the use of his room. Rosalie and Angela's sole job had been to keep me busy and convinced that all of Edward's stress was only from the showcase. Apparently all of the whispered phone calls had been to Jasper, making sure that the classroom would be adequate and the painting would all fit. I learned that Edward, Seth, and Jacob had been working for weeks to make sure that E.J. and Nessie knew their lines for their little show, and this morning had been spent by all the men setting up Jasper's classroom and transporting all of the paintings. Apparently it had been quite difficult convincing E.J. and Nessie to say their lines to each other without laughing, and I was told by a sheepish looking Edward that there might have been bribes in the form of candy involved. Seth and Jacob were "late" meeting us tonight because they were with Sue making sure at the last minute that the classroom was perfect and that E.J. and Nessie were ready.

I learned that the ring Edward had given me was actually Esme's mother's, and it brought tears to my eyes, saying that she always knew I would be the one Edward would give it to. I was so happy that both she and Carlisle were here. While I was sad that both of my parents were no longer here, Esme and Carlisle had always been like second parents to me, and having them here ensured that our whole family was together to be a part of this moment. During a slow dance, Emmett cut in and had me stand on his toes as the big lug twirled us around the room.

"I'm so happy for you Bells," Emmett said softly.

"Thank you Em," I whispered, "You know…I…I don't know if I would've survived all those years apart without you."

Emmett chuckled, "Psh…Bella, like Edward said, once you find true love, nothing can keep you apart."

"Regardless," I said, "You held me together until I found Edward again."

"Bells, you are the strongest woman I know. You didn't need me to hold you together. I think deep down, your heart always knew, so you never gave up."

I just nodded, chewing on my lip. As we danced a little longer, I glanced over and saw Edward sitting with Rosalie, the two of them laughing and smiling. As I watched them, a request popped into my head.

"Hey Em," I said, looking up at him, "Can I ask you a favor?"

He flashed me that dimpled grin of his, "Sure Bells."

"Will…well, I don't know when this will be…but…will you give me away at my wedding?"

Emmett stopped our dancing, and I was startled to see his eyes turn glassy, "Oh Bella…it would be my honor."

My bear of a cousin swept me up in his arms and held me tightly to him. We might be the only two blood relatives we both have left, but together, with our friends, we still had the best family anyone could ever ask for.

As we rode the elevator back up to our apartment, Edward couldn't stop kissing the ring on my finger. All night he always had a hand touching me in some way, and his lips found any excuse to brush against my skin. Edward took his time as he helped me out of my dress, kissing and caressing each new area of bare skin that was exposed to him. I returned the favor and soon we were naked, Edward sitting me in his lap on the bed as his lips continued to explore the expanse of my throat and my breasts.

Our moans filled the air as he moved my hips and buried himself within me. Hands explored smooth skin, fingers tangled within silky hair, and lips brushed against salty skin, murmuring our eternal love for each other as Edward rocked us slowly. My hands tightened in his hair as I lost myself in ecstasy first. Edward rolled us so he hovered over me and continued to send wave after wave of pleasure crashing over me.

With loud moans of each other's names, we came together, exhausted and breathing heavily into each other's skin.

"I love you," Edward murmured as his lips traced along my neck up to my jaw and eventually finding my lips. He rolled us, and I whimpered as he slipped out, and pulled me so that I was half lying on his chest.

Together we lay there naked in the moonlight. Edward's hand traced lazy circles on my back as mine traced patterns on his chest. Really I was just watching the light of the moon sparkling off of the beautiful ring that now sat upon my finger.

"I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

Edward chuckled softly as he brought his hand up to mine, and traced the ring.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan soon-to-be Cullen."

I shifted my body so I now was straddling his waist and rubbing against his ever impressive and rapidly growing erection. Edward moaned softly as his hands found my hips.

"Forever?" I asked softly.

"Forever," Edward moaned as I sank down on him.

The rest of the night was spent showing each other our love and devotion that couldn't be explained in words.

**Well? Yes? No? It took me a really long time to think of Edward's proposal. I hope I did him justice. And after some debating and shuffling around of my ideas, I can definitely say, that there are only three chapters left of this story and then the epilogue.**

**Let me know what you think (good or bad) pretty please? Oh, and next chapter, we're going to meet Emmett & Rosalie's baby! :- ) **


	31. Chapter 30: My Everything

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Thank you for reading & reviewing! We're jumping ahead in time here. Is everyone ready to meet Emmett & Rosalie's baby? As well as some other surprises along the way? :-P**

_**You are my everything **_

_**Nothing your love won't bring **_

_**My life is yours alone **_

_**The only love I've ever known **_

_**Your spirit pulls me through **_

_**When nothing else will do **_

_**Every night I pray **_

_**On bended knee **_

_**That you will always be **_

_**My everything **_

_**-98 Degrees, "My Everything"**_

Chapter 30: My Everything

_**EPOV**_

I flopped down on the couch rather unceremoniously. I couldn't believe how tired I was and it seemed like the last 6 weeks were suddenly catching up to me. Despite proposing to Bella and celebrating her "yes", we hardly had time to ourselves after that night. Bella was hit with inspiration for her next novel and worked on it day and night. E.J. finished up kindergarten and "graduated" to first grade, and I had found him a tee ball league to join in the summer time. I had to spend a majority of my time at the Museum of Modern Art working with the curators on how my collection of work was going to be displayed and also painted a few more pieces to go with it.

Last week was the unveiling of my exhibit and the whole family was able to attend. One of the things that I had asked of the curators was that the unveiling gala be open to people of all ages. I wanted E.J. and Nessie there, as well as the newest addition to our family, Mr. Thomas James McCarty. We were affectionately calling him T.J.

I was happy that Rosalie, Emmett, and T.J. were able to stop by for a brief bit at the gala. Rosalie had asked me if I would paint a portrait of T.J. and I couldn't say no. I was going to start on it next week. Little T.J. came kicking and screaming into the world at 6:57am on May 13th. After I had asked Bella to marry me at the end of April, it was like we were on constant Rose Alert. We had 3 false alarms (all of which of course had to be between the hours of 1 and 4 o'clock in the morning), and finally we all met little T.J. that Wednesday morning on the 13th.

He was a cute little guy all right. Well, maybe not so little. He was definitely Emmett's son, coming in just under 9 pounds. While he looked like he had also inherited Emmett's dark curls, it looked like he was going to have Rosalie's ice blue eyes. The first time we all went over to their house to visit T.J., I was absolutely terrified when Emmett tried to make me hold him.

"Hey, if I can hold him and not crush his head, you can do it Eddie."

Of course him calling me "Eddie" only irritated me and pushed me to prove that I could in fact hold on to his baby. By baby standards, T.J. was by no means small, but I don't think I had ever held anything so fragile in my arms ever before. As I sat on the couch, I looked at Bella to my side and was completely overwhelmed by the look in her eyes. Her eyes were glassy and she gazed upon T.J. and I with so much love.

"Soon," was all she whispered to me. Though my heart was overjoyed for our friends, it deflated a little at Bella's solitary word. _"Soon."_ It meant she wasn't pregnant yet. We had made an agreement to not bring the pregnancy up. She would tell me when she was positive. She didn't want to get my hopes up. I reluctantly agreed to this, but it was killing me not knowing if she was pregnant or not. I had to have hope. The lone word that confirmed her lack of pregnancy was said to me a month ago now. While we hadn't had much time to "practice", we managed to work in a few moments alone.

"Daddy, that was the best present ever!" E.J. squealed as he plopped down next to me on the couch. I heard Bella laugh softly from the kitchen.

We had just returned from the Mariners vs. the Yankees game that Bella and I had bought E.J. tickets to for his birthday. My mother had informed Ichiro Suzuki's agent that we would be at the game tonight and we got to go down on the field to meet E.J.'s favorite player. I think the poor boy almost fainted. _I_ almost fainted when Mr. Suzuki told me he wanted to see more of my paintings. My mother had designed the interior of his house in Seattle and had purchased some of my work for his walls. Apparently he was interested in more. E.J. got to take a picture with him and he signed E.J.'s shirt as well. Sure enough, E.J. was sitting down next to me shirtless at the moment.

"Daddy, I can't believe Grandma Esme knows Ichiro! That was so cool!"

I chuckled, "Well, you can tell her all about it tomorrow. Make sure you thank her as well."

"Oh Daddy, I will! I will! He was so cool and I didn't know he spoke English! Garrett said he only spoke Japanese! And he knew my name!"

I never mean to do so, but I tuned E.J. out when I felt the warmth of Bella's body snuggle up to my other side. Bella and I had remained neutral in our clothes for the game that evening. While we got some heckling, mostly we were left alone because E.J. is only 6 years old and proudly wore his Mariners gear. I put my arm around Bella's shoulders as she snuggled up against my chest and we listened to E.J. talk more about his favorite baseball hero. Since he wasn't in school and there was no tee ball games for him this weekend, we let him stay up with us to watch some TV. That kid from "Transformers" was on "the Tonight Show" so E.J. managed to stay awake for most of that.

While I was content lying with the two most important people in my life in my arms, I couldn't help but be a little sad that Bella still wasn't pregnant. We were both given the clean bill of health when we returned from Hawaii, and Bella was told to relax more. It's just that when we returned from our vacation, it was like we were just bombarded by real life. I felt like I hardly even got to see Bella between planning out the perfect proposal and my exhibition. Our quickies were not enough to placate me and even our glorious night together after I proposed to her wasn't enough. After this weekend, I was looking forward to just spending time with Bella and E.J. My parents were in town for my birthday tomorrow and my mother already insisted on watching E.J. for a couple of days next week. I couldn't wait.

I sighed. Tomorrow I was turning 26 years old. I couldn't quite believe the journey I had already been on these past years. It almost felt like my time being blind was another life…someone else's life. Well, until I met Bella in 5th grade. I couldn't even remember what my life was like in Chicago anymore. It was like my life began the moment I met Bella Swan. She was my everything, my life…and she had given me everything I could have ever dreamed of. I never would've dreamt that I would be able to see, or that I would have found the love of my life when I was 11 years old, or that I would have a son whom I adored just as much as his mother.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hm?" I hummed as I turned and looked at my beautiful Bella. She smiled a lifted a hand to trace the stubble I had lingering on my chin.

"You let out a pretty big sigh there, and you look like you're thinking about a lot."

I couldn't help but smile, "Just thinking about my birthday tomorrow and my life thus far."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…I mean, I can't believe everything that has happened in my 26 years of life. Born blind and now I can see, I have a successful job, I'm a father, I found the love of my life when I was 11…it's just amazing to me. Parts of it almost seem like someone else's life."

"Not the parts where you met the love of your life?"

"No," I sighed, "Every moment, and every memory I have of you, are the best and most precious of my life."

"Even the bad ones?" Bella whispered, and I knew she was referring to our time apart.

"Even the bad ones," I said softly, "If it wasn't for the bad ones, I don't think I would believe that true love exists."

"Really?"

"Bella, I would go through all of the hurt and pain again as long as I knew I would be with you in the end. Finding you again, that only proves to me that this is true, that our love was meant to be, that there is nothing that can keep us apart."

Bella giggled, "You sound kind of cheesy right now."

"Mmmm…but you know every word is true."

"I do."

My heart swelled at those two words and leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. I didn't know when it was going to happen, but I couldn't wait to hear them as Bella promised herself to me forever. Our kiss broke when E.J. began to snore quite loudly from my other side. Bella and I broke apart laughing. He had fallen asleep sometime during the second guest on "the Tonight Show" and was now snoring quite soundly. I wasn't surprised. He had quite the exciting day today.

"I guess we should get him to bed and then we should head up too. It's…a two hour drive tomorrow to the Hamptons?"

I stood and scooped E.J. up, nodding in answer to Bella's question. The game had been exciting tonight and any hopes of Bella and I getting to have some time alone tonight were pretty much dashed by the large yawn I saw her let out.

"I guess he'll need to take a bath tomorrow morning," I whispered as we went into his bedroom, Bella finding E.J. some sleep pants. Since it was getting warm I hadn't been sleeping with a shirt on. Of course our son decided to copy his father.

"Just trying to get out of bath duties because it's your birthday," Bella teased as we changed him. E.J. was out cold, not even stirring.

"Yup, part of my master plan," I chuckled as we slipped E.J. under his covers.

"You are far too sneaky Mr. Cullen," Bella whispered, wrapping her arms around my waist and pushing me out the door.

"Mmmm…but you love me anyway Mrs. Cullen."

"Soon-to-be," Bella laughed as we walked up the stairs, "You keep up being sneaky like this and I may have to reconsider."

I gasped and pulled back to look at her, teasing, "You wouldn't dare!"

"Probably not…but I might think about it."

I rolled my eyes and scooped Bella's body up into my arms, making her squeal before she slapped her hands over her mouth.

"Edward!" She whisper-shouted, smacking me on the chest as I walked us towards our bed, "I could've woken up E.J."

I lay her on the bed on hovered over her, "I can think of occasions where we were louder and didn't wake up E.J."

I growled and my lips found Bella's earlobe and I tugged it gently. She gasped and her hands tightened on my shoulders.

"Edward…we…we can't…not tonight…I don't want you to…to be tired driving tomorrow…OH…Ah…you cheat…" Bella panted as my mouth moved down her neck and kissed her breasts through her shirt.

"It IS now technically my birthday," I murmured when I came to the hem of her shirt.

"Well then…Happy Birthday Edward…"

I had a feeling I was going to be late to my own birthday celebration in the morning.

* * *

"I can't believe you two!" Alice hissed as she pulled me into the kitchen.

"What?" I asked, pretending to ignore the fact that Bella, E.J., and I were in fact over two hours late to my own birthday celebration.

"You two were sexing it up all last night weren't you? As soon as the clock hit midnight!"

My face blanched and then was replaced quickly by a blush as I looked at Alice, standing there with her hands on her hips and tapping her foot.

"Um…sorry?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "You're just lucky your family and other friends actually bought your story about there being traffic and Bella not feeling well."

"Sorry Alice…" I muttered, "but it IS my birthday. Can't I enjoy it with my fiancé?"

"Whatever Edward," Alice scoffed, "You could've at least kept it in your pants until tonight when everyone is not waiting on you two."

"I'm sorry Alice. I promise I won't do it again," I smiled.

"Yeah…okay," Alice chuckled, "I have a feeling this will be one of the best birthdays you've ever had."

"What makes you say that?" I asked as Alice looped her arm through mine and led us out towards the back patio where everyone was sitting.

"I just know," Alice chirped.

My mother, Angela, and Sue were cooing over T.J. napping in Rosalie's arms. Emmett, my father, Jasper, and Ben were talking to one side. My eyes went to the beach and I could see Bella, Jacob, and Seth playing down in the sand with Nessie and E.J. I smiled. Everyone I loved was here with me to celebrate my birthday. We were also going to celebrate Father's Day tomorrow for Emmett, Jacob, my father, and myself. Ben didn't want to be included just yet. Angela had barely been able to make the trip, being pregnant with twins, but her doctor cleared her, thinking the sea air might be good for her.

"Happy Birthday son," My father said as he came up and clapped my on the shoulder. Alice let go of my arm and I watched as she went bouncing down towards the beach.

"Thanks Dad," I said as I gave him a hug.

"Can't believe my boy is 26 and I'm already a grandpa," My father chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, "You're not going to get all sentimental on me are you Dad?"

My father laughed loudly, "No…no, I'm not. I just can't believe how quickly 26 years has passed and everything that has happened."

I heard E.J. laughing loudly as Alice ran after him. I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah…me either."

The rest of the group came around and started wishing me a Happy Birthday and my mother got quite sentimental about her baby being 26, and her baby having a baby. She wasn't even this sentimental when she found out that E.J. even existed. I greeted Rosalie and Angela who were sitting side by side on the couch that was out on the patio. Poor Angela had to keep her feet elevated.

I headed down to the beach and I braced myself as my son spotted me and came barreling towards me. I caught him as he launched himself at me and slung him on my back as we went down towards the water. I playfully threatened to throw him in, clothes and all, and Bella shrieked at me to not let either one of us get hurt. I chuckled and let E.J. down and we continued to play a game of tag on the beach. Bella bowed out of the game and headed back up to the house and I spent who knows how long playing tag with E.J., Nessie, Alice, Jake, and Seth. Eventually Emmett, Jasper, and Ben joined in. Alice was right, this really was one of the best birthdays I had experienced in a long time.

At around 4pm my father started up the grill and started to prepare dinner. I tried to help prepare some things in the kitchen but I was promptly pushed out of the kitchen by all the women. Even Nessie was allowed to be in the kitchen helping. I found E.J. out on the patio by the grill attentively watching his grandpa as he started putting steaks and chicken on the grill. Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob were helping prepare the meats and other seafood while Seth was sipping on a beer.

"Daddy!" E.J. shouted as he jumped down from the chair he was standing on. I cringed as he tripped a little but kept his footing. I quickly scooped him up and held him on my hip.

"What's up buddy?"

"Can we go play catch?" He asked me, his eyes wide and closer to a shade of green.

"Sure. Let's go get the baseball."

E.J. and I spent quite a while on the beach tossing the baseball back and forth. While it had taken me a while to learn how to do something as simple as throwing a baseball, E.J. was excelling at it. I had no doubt that if it was really what he wanted to do, he would be a great baseball player in the future.

"Do I keep my arm like this Daddy? In the L shape?" E.J. asked as he held his throwing arm up.

"Yes, just like that. Now toss me the ball."

E.J. launched the ball at me and it slammed into my palm with surprising force for a 6 year old. I put the ball in my left hand as I shook my right one out.

"Wow buddy, you're sure getting strong there. You're hurting my hand!"

E.J. frowned, "I'm sorry Daddy."

I quickly rushed over to him when I saw his frown, "Hey buddy, don't worry about it. That's actually a good thing."

"It is?" He asked as he sniffled and looked up at me.

I knelt down in front of him, "It really is buddy. That means you have a strong arm."

"Oh…YAY!" E.J. squealed as he launched himself at me.

I caught him easily and settled us on the sand looking out at the ocean. I couldn't believe that the little person sitting in my lap was really my son. Even though I had known for months now, it was still hard to believe. He was like a miniature version of me and I was still in awe of him.

"You're going to like your presents Daddy."

I chuckled, "am I now?"

"Mmmhmm…especially the one I got for you! Mommy let me pick it out and I-"

He stopped and he quickly slapped his hands over his mouth. I couldn't help but laugh loudly.

"I almost told you the secret…" He whispered.

I ruffled his hair, "It's okay buddy. I'm sure I'll love your present."

"You will!" He grinned widely.

E.J. and I continued to talk. We had been reading the Harry Potter books out loud before bed and we had just finished the 6th one. The movie was out so E.J. was excited to see it. Since he had finished school he and I spent a lot of time at the park playing and also putting a huge dent in the list of movies that I had to watch. The last one we watched together was "Transformers."

"Hey boys!" I heard my father call from the back patio, "The food is all ready!"

I scooped E.J. up and piggy backed him back to the house. I let him down and he quickly scampered off to wash his hands before dinner. Bella smiled brightly at me as I walked in and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hello beautiful," I murmured as I bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"How's the birthday boy?" Bella giggled as I moved my lips down her neck.

"Mmmm…wishing we were alone right now…"

"Edward!" Bella shouted as she pulled back and smacked my chest lightly, "All last night and you're still not satisfied?"

"I could never have enough of you my Bella…"

"Later," Bella whispered, turning and lacing her fingers through mine and leading me into the dinning room.

Everyone was gathered around a large table covered with the most delicious smelling food. There was the steaks, chicken, grilled lobster tails and shrimp, mashed potatoes, pasta salad, spinach salad, and all sorts of grilled vegetables. Everything looked so good I was practically drooling as my stomach rumbled loudly.

The food was delicious and the conversation was flowing as we all ate and drank. My mother had secured us some great wine, but Alice and Bella didn't drink, not wanting Angela and Rosalie to feel left out. E.J. told everyone about his present and the baseball game yesterday, and everyone listened on as E.J. described Ichiro as the coolest baseball player ever.

The men began to clear the table and I was pushed back down into my chair sharply by Bella when I tried to get up to help.

"It's your birthday," she hissed at me. I couldn't help but chuckle. She was so cute when she was being feisty.

"Sorry, love…force of habit I suppose."

Bella rolled her eyes at me and turned back towards her plate. I noticed that my mother and Sue had disappeared and as all of the men came back into the room, they were followed by Sue and my mother carrying a rather large birthday cake with 27 lit candles on top. E.J. and Nessie both clapped excitedly as Seth started to lead the group in singing "Happy Birthday" to me. I couldn't help but smile as I listened to everyone sing slightly off key and my son stood up on his chair next to me as the cake was placed down in front of me. As the song wound up, Bella slipped her arms around my waist and leaned up to whisper in my ear.

"Make a wish baby…"

I closed my eyes and thought. The past few years I had very little to wish for, very little to believe in, to hope for…now my life felt absolutely perfect. There was only one thing that I could wish for…so I clenched my eyes tighter, took a deep breath and blew out all 27 candles. Everyone clapped and were all smiles when I opened my eyes. E.J.'s arm was around my shoulders and looked to my side where Bella still had her arms wrapped around my waist. I bent down and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"Did you make a wish?" She whispered as I pulled back. I simply nodded.

"Present time!" Alice chirped as started to bounce in place.

E.J. and Nessie both clapped loudly as my mother and Bella took the cake into the kitchen. My mother called out that we would have cake after I opened all of the presents. As we all relocated to the living room, I was now shown the rather large pile of presents on the coffee table. E.J. and Nessie took turns handing me my presents as I unwrapped them all. E.J. declared that I had to open the present from he and Bella last.

My mother and father had gotten me tickets to take Bella and E.J. to Paris next month. I was completely overwhelmed. It was far too much and I protested, as did Bella, but my mother insisted that we accept them. She also called them an engagement present. Sue gave me a navy blue beanie that she knit herself. Jacob, Seth, and Nessie got me a Kindle, and Nessie made me a little beaded keychain. It was of a lion. She said my crazy hair always reminded her of a lion's mane. Angela and Ben had gotten me a collection of rare Debussy recordings. Rosalie and Emmett got tickets for Bella and I to go see "Wicked" on Broadway. They even said they'd babysit E.J. Alice had of course gotten me clothes that she designed especially for me. Jasper got me a book about Salvador Dali that I had been interested in. Finally it was turn for Bella's present.

She bit her lip nervously as she handed me the rather large parcel. It was quite heavy and I gave her a questioning look. She shrugged and urged me to open it. I peeled the paper away and when I did I was met with an intricately designed golden album cover. As I peeled open the cover and began to turn the pages, I saw that Bella had made me an album full of pictures from our past. She also included several pages of pictures she had taken recently of all of us together. Our son, our family, and our friends. It was absolutely perfect.

"Oh Bella…" I said softy, "this is the perfect present."

Before she could even respond E.J. pouted. "Daddy, you haven't even seen my present yet!"

I chuckled, "Okay, I'm sorry buddy. Let's open up your present now."

"Okay! Here!" E.J. squealed as he ran over and handed me the present that was wrapped in blue and green paper. I would guess that it was supposed to be like the Mariners team colors. Everyone seemed to be watching me closely as I began to open up E.J.'s present.

"You have to share it with one of my presents," E.J. said excitedly.

"E.J.!" Alice shouted, covering his mouth with her hand, "You can't say anything!"

I chuckled as I pulled back the cover of the box. When I peaked inside I saw that it was a Mariners shirt, quite similar to the one that E.J. himself got. I smiled.

"This is so we match huh buddy…" My voice trailed off as I pulled the shirt out of the box and it unfolded to it's full length. My brows furrowed instantly. It wasn't a shirt at all…it was…it was…a onesie?

"Do you like it Daddy?" E.J. asked, rushing over to sit next to me, "Mommy let me pick it out myself."

My eyes widened and I turned to look at Bella. My brain couldn't even form a rational thought.

"Bella…is…are you…" I stuttered.

"Happy Birthday Daddy," She whispered.

"You're…"

She simply nodded. I could feel the tears in my eyes as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into my lap. I felt E.J. move off of the couch but all I could focus on was Bella's eyes and the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. My hands brushed along her sides and I looked down as I let my hands move to her stomach. I gasped. I could feel the change in her stomach now that I was focusing on it. How did I miss this last night? She must've seen my brows furrow as she let her fingers brush along my cheeks.

"I didn't really show with E.J. either. Not really until the fourth month or so."

I looked up and met her eyes again, my own tears running down my cheeks, "How long?"

Bella bit her lip nervously, "We were just so busy in May with the gallery stuff and my writing and Rosalie's pregnancy, that I didn't even notice that I had missed two periods. Alice was the one who…who noticed."

I turned and looked at Alice with my eyebrows raised. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I was fitting Bella for some clothes and her boobs were bigger than before."

The rest of our friends and family were silent and I saw my father holding E.J. and Jacob was holding on to Nessie. Angela was in tears as Ben ran a soothing hand down her back. Seth was hugging Sue and my mother had her face pressed against my father's shoulder. Emmett was smiling as he held T.J. in his arms and Rosalie had her arms wrapped around his waist. Alice was bouncing in her spot and Jasper had his hands on her shoulders. I turned and looked at Bella, smiling.

"How far…did you…have you seen a doctor yet?"

Bella nodded. "I went on Wednesday. He…he says I'm about 11 weeks, give or take."

My brows rose, "So…maybe Hawaii?"

She nodded. I couldn't stop the smile that began to spread across my face.

"So…so you're pregnant?"

"I am," she said softly.

"Bella!" I shouted as I stood and pulled her into my arms, swinging her around.

"Edward!" She squealed.

"You're going to have a baby?" I asked, holding Bella at eye level with me.

She clutched my shoulders tightly, "WE are going to have a baby."

"Oh Bella…" I said as I pressed my forehead against hers, "I love you…I love you so much…"

I let Bella down to her feet before I bent down and pressed my lips to hers. I could her my son's squeals of protest but in that moment, I needed to show Bella all of the love I had for her at that moment. When our lips finally broke apart I traveled down her body when I was kneeling I looked up at her and slowly raised her shirt.

"Edward!" Bella squealed, her hands coming to rest on my wrists. I could hear our friends and family laughing as I ignored Bella and I placed a kiss on the very slight curve that now was so apparent to me.

"I love you too baby," I whispered.

I stood up and wrapped my arm around Bella's waist. She smiled up at me as we faced out family and friends. My father put E.J. down and he immediately came running at me, throwing himself into my arms.

"Daddy! I'm going to have a baby brother or a baby sister!"

I couldn't help but smile. "You're going to be a big brother."

The mob descended on us, mostly congratulating me. Apparently this was Bella's surprise for me after I had surprised her with what she had described as "the most perfect proposal ever". Since our family and friends had all been in on it, she decided to surprise everyone with this news while we were all together celebrating my birthday. The only people who had known before me was E.J. (so Bella could take time and explain some things to him) and Alice because she noticed Bella's body changing.

We all spent the rest of the night eating cake and talking. The women were all fawning over Bella's tiny baby bump and Emmett was sitting on the couch showing E.J. how to hold T.J. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen when my father came up to stand next to me.

"Congratulations son."

"Thanks Dad," I whispered, taking a sip of my water.

"Is it what you wished for?"

"It was," I smiled.

"I'm glad it came true."

"Me too Dad…me too."

We all went to sleep rather late in the night. Even the kids stayed up pretty late with us. I was lying in the bed on my side, while Bella lay on her back. She was giggling softly as I let my fingers trace around the smooth skin of her stomach. I couldn't help but stare in wonder. There was a human being growing in there. Sure I had seen Rosalie pregnant and Angela was pregnant now too…but this…knowing Bella was pregnant and it was my child growing in there…it was just so much more incredible. I moved lower and let my lips brush against her skin. Bella giggled and I soon found her hands in my hair.

"Edward, stop…that tickles."

I turned and let my cheek rest on top of her bare stomach. I grinned up at her as I placed my hands at her sides and began to push her shirt up and over her breasts.

"Edward!" She hissed, "We can't!"

"We can," I whispered as I turned and began to drape my body over hers, "just be quiet."

I began to drag my lips up each inch of bare skin I revealed. Bella's hands buried themselves into my hair. "Yes Edward…"

I sat up and took my time helping Bella out of her clothes. My hands roamed and caressed every part of bare skin on her body, of course paying attention to her stomach. She in turn ran her hands across my chest and abdomen, slipping me out of my boxers and pushing me to sit on the bed. Bella placed herself in my lap and I was quickly sheathed inside her. I groaned as she wrapped her legs around me and pressed our chests together.

"I hope you're ready…" Bella panted as we began to rock.

"For what?" I managed to breath out, losing myself in the haze of pleasure I found myself in.

Bella leaned forward and moaned at the sensation her change in position caused. She bit my earlobe lightly before sucking on it gently. It only made me moan even more.

"I was really horny when I was pregnant with E.J…" She whispered in my ear. I groaned and pulled back to look at her.

"Happy Birthday Edward."

Alice was right. This was one of the best birthdays I ever had.

**Well? Yes? No? You didn't think I wouldn't let Bella & Edward (and E.J. for that matter) have their baby right? Yup…two more chapters and then the epilogue. Hmmm…should Edward & Bella have a boy or a girl? I know the answer to that! I've had it planned for months now. :-P But I'm curious to hear what you all think. Let me know how you liked it (good or bad) pretty please? :-P We're getting to the end hear, and I would love to hear from all the people that have been reading all this time...**


	32. Chapter 31: Love Story

**Disclaimer: Not mine…the little nudger belongs to Stephenie Meyer...**

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Jumping ahead in time again here. Not going to tell what Edward & Bella are going to have. :-P Sorry. You'll have to wait until the Epilogue to find out. I figured I had to use this song for a chapter, although maybe I should've used it for the last one…oh well. Enjoy. :-) Are any other authors out there having issues trying to post?? **

**_Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone_**

**_I keep waiting for you but you never come_**

**_Is this in my head? I don't know what to think_**

**_He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring_**

**_And said, marry me Juliet_**

**_You'll never have to be alone_**

**_I love you and that's all I really know_**

**_I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress_**

**_It's a love story baby just say yes_**

**_Cuz we were both young when I first saw you…_**

**_-Taylor Swift, "Love Story"_**

Chapter 31: Love Story

**_BPOV_**

I wanted to say that I was one of those little girls who always dreamed of the perfect wedding. A little girl who had it all planned out and dressed up in her mother's wedding dress when she was 5 years old and pretended to marry her teddy bear or something. What Alice had planned was beyond anything I could have ever imagined when I was a little girl.

After proposing at the end of April, Edward and I decided we wanted to get married before this year was over. After I found out that I was pregnant, I decided I wanted to be married before this baby was born…AND before I was sporting a huge belly where I wouldn't even be able to see my feet anymore. I asked Alice to help and we were able to finally plan the perfect wedding for Edward and I. She even designed my dress and Edward's suit.

We had decided to have a small wedding, but were going slightly against tradition. Emmett was going to walk me down the aisle, and since Angela was going to be 7 months pregnant at the time of our wedding, I asked Emmett to stand up there with me. Through all the years apart from Edward, Emmett was the one who kept me truly alive and living. For Edward, Alice was going to stand beside him. He felt the same way about her as I did about Emmett. Angela's father was going to perform the ceremony, Nessie was of course going to be our flower girl, and E.J. was going to be our ring barer. So here we were, the end of August, and Edward and I were getting married in a few hours.

"Relax little nudger," I said softly as I rubbed my stomach, "I remember you're there."

When I was pregnant with E.J., he was the same way. Always kicking up a storm in there and reminding me that he was there. At the time it had been bitter sweet. Bitter obviously because I wasn't with Edward, but sweet because the little guy was half of me and half of Edward. The baby presently residing in my stomach was no better, kicking up a storm now that we were over the 5 month mark.

The first time it happened, Edward and I had just finished a round of rather exhausting sex. E.J. was sleeping over at Nessie's and Edward wanted to take full advantage of that. My changing body absolutely captivated him and he had spent countless hours exploring every new curve. I had been lying on my side, Edward facing me on his side, his hand tracing over my body. He especially liked what the pregnancy had done to my breasts. I swear they almost doubled in size. I was smiling while I watched Edward, his gaze fascinated, as his hand traced along the now quite visible bump on my stomach. His hand had come to a stop next to my belly button when he looked up at me and leaned forward to kiss me softly on the lips. As soon as his lips brushed mine, our little nudger made his/herself known.

Edward's eyes were as huge as saucers and I'm sure mine looked the same when we both felt it.

"Was that?" Edward asked, completely in awe.

"Yes…" I whispered.

It happened again and the smile on my face grew as I watched Edward's eyes water a little, his gaze going to my stomach.

"Hi baby," Edward whispered, before scooting lower and placing his lips on my belly.

Not that I didn't believe it before with my ever expanding stomach and growing boobs, but that moment solidified for the both of us that our baby was there. We had decided to wait to see what the sex of the baby was. I was convinced we were having another boy. Edward said he didn't care as long as they were healthy. E.J. wasn't sure…I think he just wanted a younger sibling.

"Are you feeling sick or anything?"

I was somewhat startled by Esme when she came back into the hotel room, followed by Alice. Rosalie was nursing T.J. in the room next door and poor Angela…while her doctor said she was healthy and doing fine, he wanted her to be extra careful today and not spend too much time outside. She would only be coming to the ceremony and part of the reception.

"No," I sighed, tying my robe back shut, "the little nudger is just being extra active today."

"Probably because their momma is so excited," Esme smiled as she came and sat next to me on the bed.

"I wish you two would find out the sex," Alice huffed, "That would make buying you guys a present so much easier. And I wouldn't be calling your baby an 'it' or 'nudger' or whatever."

"Edward and I want to be surprised," I sighed, standing up and stretching my back a little.

"Well, when I'm pregnant I am definitely finding out what Jasper and I are having."

Esme chuckled as she set up some food for me to eat. I had been craving eggs and friend chicken, which was an odd combination. She set out some scrambled eggs, chicken strips, and a waffle for me. Alice was standing by the closet making last minute inspections of my dress and checking her own outfit. The air conditioning was in overdrive keeping me cool and I sat and licked my lips. The food smelled so good.

"Thank you Esme," I said, picking up my fork and beginning to dig in. It was just after one in the afternoon now and I would be marrying Edward in just under four hours. In four hours, I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

The ceremony was being held in the sculpture garden at the Metropolitan Museum of Art at 5pm. They had put up a beautiful silk canopy that would shield us and all of our guests as we took our vows. White orchids and roses along with deep purple satin ribbons decorated the canopy and seating area. When Alice has asked me to pick out colors for the wedding, Edward was getting ready to go to a business meeting with his lawyer and had on a grey suit with a deep purple button up underneath. That's how our theme became purple and silver.

"Your dress is perfect Bella, and Sue and Nessie are bringing the flowers."

I just sighed and nodded. When I glanced at the clock, it was only 1:35. Why couldn't time go by quicker?

Last night was the first night I had spent away from Edward in longer than I can remember. Quite possibly since back in November. After the rehearsal dinner last night, Edward was whisked away by Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, and Seth. We had a joint bachelor party a couple of weeks ago, so I knew the boys weren't going to take him to get drunk or to a strip club or anything. Emmett knew I wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he did. E.J. had stayed with me until this morning before he went to go get ready with his father. It was nice to have E.J. sleeping in my arms, but it wasn't the same as having Edward's arms wrapped around me.

"This little guy is going to be just like his father," Rosalie said, coming into the room carrying a very happy looking T.J. He had grown so much and now at just over 3 months old, he had Rosalie's ice blue eyes, but he was going to look exactly like Emmett.

Esme smiled as Rosalie came to sit next to her on the bed. Esme adored T.J. like he was her own grandson. She spoiled him and I knew the nudger Edward and I were having was going to be just as spoiled, if not even more. Sue and Nessie soon arrived. Nessie's dress was a dark purple that matched Alice's and was sleeveless with a dark plum ribbon going around her waist. Her dark her was curled and pulled up in a pony tail and she had little black shoes on her feet.

"Aunty Bella! You're getting married today!" Nessie squealed as she ran over to me. I picked her up and placed her on my lap as best I could.

I smiled, "I know Nessie."

"Uncle Edward is your prince?" Nessie asked, her large dark eyes staring into mine.

"He is."

Nessie squealed and clapped, "You're going to get married just like Cinderella!"

"Nessie," Sue called, "let you Aunty Bella finish eating. She needs to start getting ready soon."

I let Nessie slip off my lap and I sighed. Last night when we walked through the ceremony, I couldn't even imagine what it was going to really be like. Edward in his black suit and purple tie, E.J. in an identical outfit, Emmett in the same…I could see it, yet I couldn't imagine it being real. It was like everything was too much and I couldn't believe it was real.

When I finished eating, Alice and Rosalie sat me down and began doing my hair and make-up. Esme was watching T.J. while Sue was entertaining Nessie with some coloring books. Now that Alice had begun to do my hair with rollers and Rosalie was helping her set them.

The past months this summer had been amazing. Our week in Paris was unbelievable. Even though E.J. was with us, it was still incredibly romantic to be there. The Louvre was amazing and it took us two days to see everything that Edward wanted to see. I thought E.J. might complain, but he hung on Edward's every word as Edward described and explained things about each painting. The view from the Eiffel Tower was incredible and Notre Dame was just as beautiful and tranquil as I imagined it was going to be. E.J. loved the food, especially all of the pastries and the crepes. Edward and I even got our moments to be alone together. Much like our room in Hawaii, there was a connecting room for E.J. to sleep in.

When I glanced at the clock I saw that I now had less than two hours to go before I was to see Edward. Rosalie and Alice had curled my hair and created a soft but intricate twist at the nape of my neck full of braids and curls. The veil that Alice designed was sheer and fell to the middle of my back. The combs that secured it to my head was decorated with white and silver orchids. A beautiful crystal encrusted head band was also woven around my crown, holding back any wayward strands of hair. When everything was set in place I gasped. I had been daydreaming about Paris for so long that I didn't even notice that my simple make-up had been done as well.

"Alice! Rosalie!" I cried, 'I…I…"

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't help it. I cried at the drop of the hat these days. Stupid pregnancy hormones!

"You're welcome Bella," Alice said as she wrapped me up on a hug, "You and Edward deserve the perfect day."

"Don't worry, we used waterproof everything," Rosalie chuckled, joining in on the group hug.

I just nodded and squeezed my friends back. Today already felt like it was perfect and I hadn't even seen Edward yet. Esme, Sue, and Nessie came over to see.

"Oh Bella, darling, you look so beautiful," Esme sighed, holding a babbling T.J.

"Like a princess Aunty Bella," Nessie nodded furiously.

I nodded in agreement. Alice and Rosalie had done wonderfully. Who needed a professional when I had friends like these two? As we all started to move to begin getting dressed, a knock at the door sounded. Esme went to answer it and we were greeted by Angela and Ben.

"Ladies, you all look lovely," Ben smiled as he escorted Angela to a chair and helped her prop her feet up. Angela had always had such a thin build, and to see her now pregnant with twins was something else. He stomach was so round and protruding and Alice had designed her a short champagne colored dress that was a one shoulder design that hung loosely from her shoulders. It was short and not constricting. Poor Angela had been complaining about the heat this August. I couldn't even imagine being pregnant with twins. This heat was bad enough with just one baby.

"You look very handsome Ben," Alice chirped, admiring the suit she had designed and examining the dress had designed for Angela, "And Angela, this looks beautiful on you."

"I feel like a beach ball," Angela muttered.

"But a very beautiful one," Ben smiled, before kissing her on her forehead, "I'm off to meet the men ladies. Bella, anything you want me to pass on to E.J. or Edward?"

I smiled, "Just tell them I miss them and I love them."

"Will do," Ben said before disappearing out the door.

"Bella, you look so beautiful," Angela smiled at me.

"Thanks Ang," I said softly as I went to go sit by her. Alice and the others were getting dressed first and putting on their make-up before helping me into my dress.

"Is it everything you imagined?"

I turned and looked at the girl who had been my friend since we were toddlers. She was smiling at me, her eyes glassy and I could feel my own eyes beginning to well up.

"Better," I whispered.

"I knew you two would end up together," Angela said softly, "I think I knew that first day in 5th grade when you stood up to Mike Newton for him. Our shy Bella Swan breaking out of her shell in defense of a boy she didn't even know. It was like your souls recognized each other and that was it. You had found each other."

I chuckled, wiping away some tears that escaped, "Maybe I should have you make the speech tonight at dinner instead of Emmett."

Angela laughed, some tears escaping her own eyes, "I think Emmett will be fine. He's been quite serious all week, trying to figure out what to say."

"Really?"

"Really! He's been coming over with Rosalie and T.J. almost all of last week trying to make sure what he had written was good."

I couldn't help but giggle. Emmett was the silly guy, the one who wasn't serious about anything and didn't worry about anything either. I sighed. I wished that Emmett wasn't only family that I had here. I wished that my mother was here, I wished that even Charlie was here…I sniffled and Sue was suddenly at my other side.

"Oh Bella, what is it sweetheart?"

Angela had a hand on my back also in an effort to comfort me. My hormones weren't helping anything here. I hadn't thought of my parents for a long time, but them not being here today to see me marry the man I had been in love with for the better half of my life…it made me sad.

"You miss Charlie and Renee," Sue said softly. I nodded and turned to face her. She smiled softly and I felt her thumb brushing my cheeks away.

"They're watching over you Bella," Angela whispered, "I know that they are so happy for you and Edward."

I could only nod.

"I'm so happy for you Bella," Sue whispered as she smoothed my hair back and continued to wipe my cheeks, "All I ever hoped for was that you'd find Edward again."

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Sue. "I'm so happy you're here Sue."

I heard her sniff as she rubbed my back. Sue was like my mother, and having both she and Esme here almost filled the space in my heart that ached for my parents. Angela's words helped to fill that space the rest of the way. Charlie and Renee were together in heaven and they were watching. They would be there today.

"Are we ready to put on your dress?" Alice asked, unsure if I needed more time. I stood up and nodded.

The little nudger kicked me and I smiled, "Don't be so impatient. We're going to see Daddy really soon."

I glanced around and looked at my loved ones. Everyone was changed into their gorgeous dresses and looked beautiful. Alice had designed all of our dresses. Esme and Sue's dresses were both the same emerald green color. Esme's hair hung down in long curls over her left shoulder and wore a strapless gown. Sue's long dark hair was swept back into a bun and wore a one shouldered gown that reminded me of something a Greek goddess would wear. Rosalie had swept her hair up into a twist and was in a form fitting cobalt blue dress. It fit her every curve and flared out around her knees. The dress looked amazing and her ever larger boobs looked incredible. Nessie was dancing around everyone in her little purple dress and T.J. was in a little black suit as well. Alice's purple best woman dress was short, just above her knees and strapless. There was ruffle going around the top and down the middle, and a small black belt around her waist. Her hair was of course in its usual fashionable spikes.

The gown Alice had made for me was beautiful. It looked like it was truly made for a princess. The material was light a flowy with a small train. It had thin spaghetti straps that were encrusted with all sorts of little crystals and sequins. The cut was an empire waist to accommodate for my baby bump, and the bust was covered with the same crystals and sequins like the straps. Other than my engagement ring, I wore the necklace Edward gave me when we were teens. My something new was a bracelet that Edward had given me last night. It was a charm bracelet, a little silver baseball on there from E.J. and a diamond heart from Edward. My something borrowed and something blue was Rosalie's garter. My something old was the diamond stud earrings I had in my ear. Esme had given them to me to wear for the occasion.

I heard the collective gasp when Alice and I stepped out of the side room and everyone could finally see me in my dress.

"You look like a princess!" Nessie squealed. I couldn't help but giggle. She said that every time she saw me when I was dressed up. This time was different though because this time I really felt like a princess.

"Are you ready to go?" Esme asked, smiling.

"I'm ready."

**_EPOV_**

"Would you calm down man?" Seth chuckled, slapping me on the back, "What? Do you think she's not coming or something?"

I nearly growled at the idea. I never thought that Bella would stand me up, but I was still nervous all the same. It was the day I had been waiting for since I was 17 years old and Bella and I had talked about getting married when we were 20. I knew she was here somewhere. My mother had come to get E.J. with Nessie so they could get ready. Our wedding was going to be very small. Mr. Webber was performing the ceremony, his wife and son Thomas would be sitting with Angela and Ben. My father, mother, Sue, Jasper, Rosalie, T.J., Jacob, Nessie, and Seth would be sitting with them as well. Standing beside me was my best friend Alice, and standing beside Bella, after walking her down the aisle, was her rock Emmett. E.J. would be standing up there with us as well as ring bearer.

Alice came dancing out of the Museum from where Bella would be entering. One of the museum's event coordinators had been helping us and she was going to help and make sure that E.J. and Nessie would start walking at the correct time and the music would be played at the right time. The coordinator, Maria, found a string quartet to play music as we got situated and also for when Bella walked down the aisle.

"Edward! You look so handsome!" Alice chirped as she bounced in front of me. The black suits and purple ties she had made for Emmett, E.J., and I were flawless and fit perfectly.

"Thank you Alice…" I trailed off, "How uh, how's Bella doing?"

"She looks so beautiful Edward," Alice said as she dusted off my shoulders, "She can't wait to marry you."

"Okay man, I'm going to get her," Emmett said, patting me on the back. He jogged off down the aisle and Seth and Jacob went to sit next to Angela and Ben. Only my father remained talking to Mr. Webber and soon my mother, Sue, Rosalie, and T.J. came walking down the aisle. Sue and Rosalie flashed me big smiles as my mother came up to give me a hug.

"Oh Edward…I'm so happy for you guys!" She whispered as she hugged me tight.

"Thank you Mom," I whispered back, giving her a big squeeze. She pulled back and my father was standing next to her.

"Congratulations son," my father said, offering his hand. I ignored it and pulled him into a tight hug. He patted my back. There was so much I wanted to say, but knew he would understand.

"Thank you Dad," I whispered, fighting off my tears. My parents had kept me going in those dark times after I lost Bella. Even after the way I treated them and avoiding going home, they never gave up on me.

My parents moved to sit down and Jasper clapped me on the back before going to sit nest to Rosalie. Soon it was just Alice, Mr. Webber, and I standing under the canopy in front of the makeshift alter, waiting for my Bella.

"Are you ready son?" Mr. Webber smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"More than ready sir," I smiled back.

"Good," he chuckled.

"It's time," Alice sang.

The quartet switched and they began to play Canon in D. My gaze immediately went to the Museum doors and soon I saw Nessie come stepping out, her purple dress matching the color of my tie and Alice's dress. Alice patted my arm and I smiled. She had done so much for me, and I couldn't believe that I was finally standing here, waiting to marry my Bella. The photographer Alice hired was taking pictures as Nessie happily skipped down the aisle dropping rose petals and soon my son came walking out of the doors, holding the little pillow that held the rings for Bella and I. He looked like a miniature version of myself, the crazy bronze hair and crooked smile on his face. After making it up the aisle Nessie smiled and gave me a thumbs up which made everyone laugh before bouncing over to take her seat next to Jacob.

The music switched and my breath caught in my throat as I watched our guests stand. The moment the doors opened, I forgot how to breathe. I had never seen a more beautiful vision in my life. Nothing my dreams conjured up could ever come close to the perfection that was now walking towards me. She literally looked like an angel in her white flowing dress, the little remaining sun glinting off of the crystals I saw on the top of her dress. My vision became blurry and I knew that there would be tears falling down my cheeks.

For so long I thought that I would never find her. That I would never find this happiness, that I would never have the complete life I always envied of my parents. With each step, my heart swelled with even more love and I thought it was going to burst when she was finally standing in front of me with Emmett.

"Who gives this woman to this man?" I heard Mr. Webber say, but my gaze was completely focused on Bella. She too now had tears falling down her cheeks and I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away.

I heard Emmett say that he was giving Bella to me and I smiled when Bella's small hand was finally placed into mine. I quickly raised a hand and brushed away her tears on her cheeks. She giggled softly before giving me her bright smile.

"You look so beautiful Bella," I barely choked out over my tears. More tears leaked out of her eyes as she squeezed my hand and we turned to face Mr. Webber.

Bella wanted to keep our vows traditional and I agreed with her. If I had to right my own vows, we would have been standing there for hours. There was no way that I could sum up all the love and promises I had for Bella. She was my world and I don't think I could've summed my world up in mere words. Before I knew it, Alice and Emmett were taking the rings from E.J., who was standing next to me, and Bella and I were placing them on each other's fingers. I don't know how we even got through our vows. Bella and I were both a mess. I didn't care if it wasn't manly at all that I was crying as I married the love of my life. The one dream I had going into the surgery when I was 19 years old was that one day I would see Bella walking towards me in a white wedding dress, becoming my wife for the rest of forever.

"…you may kiss the bride."

When I looked at Bella her face was absolutely glowing despite the tears running down her cheeks. I chuckled through my tears and brought my hands up to cup her face. My thumbs lightly brushed her cheeks before I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. Her hands found my hair and were tugging on the ends lightly as I sucked her bottom lip in between my lips. Bella was my wife. We were married. She was mine forever.

"May I now announce Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen!"

Bella and I broke apart to the cheers of our friends and of course the loud whistling of Seth. Bella had pushed herself flush against my body and in that moment our little "nudger", as she says, made him/herself known, kicking hard against Bella's belly. We both gasped and I pulled back, my hands going to her belly instantly. I looked up at Bella and smiled before I dropped to my knees.

"Edward, what are you-"

"Shhhh…" I whispered, placing my ear against her belly. Bella's cheeks were red and I could hear our friends chuckling softly as I turned and placed my lips on the spot I felt our baby kicking in. I looked up and stared into Bella's eyes who was looking down at me.

"Our little nudger says they are so happy we're married and that you look so beautiful."

"Oh Edward," Bella nearly sobbed finding my hands and pulling me to stand, "I love you! So, so much…"

Her lips found mine again and kissed me soundly before breaking away. We turned and looked at our family and friends, each and every one of them with wide smiles on their faces and clapping their hands.

"Daddy! Mommy!" E.J. shouted, gaining our attention. I quickly turned and picked him up.

"You guys are married," E.J. grinned. Bella and I both nodded, smiling at him, "And that means you'll be together forever and we'll be a family forever?"

"Always baby," Bella whispered, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.

"Good," E.J. smiled.

Our family and friends quickly surrounded us and were congratulating us. Bella looked radiant as she talked to Mrs. Webber and Angela. I talked with Thomas as Bella fixed her make-up before the two of us went to take our wedding pictures around the garden and with all of our friends and family.

Bella and I took several alone, one of which was going to double as our baby shower picture as well. Her favorite picture was when I was standing behind her and I had my hands on her stomach in the shape of a heart. We also took several with E.J. as he placed his hands on Bella's stomach and also some of just he and I together in our matching suits. There was even an absolutely adorable picture of Nessie and E.J. together, holding T.J. between them. I was shocked that Rosalie trusted E.J. enough to hold little T.J. by himself, but I was happy. It gave E.J. some good practice for whenever the little nudger would get here.

Instead of going to a big restaurant or hiring a caterer, we opted to just have everyone come over to our house afterwards. Bella and I had gotten a pair of sweats for everyone, purple for the women and grey for the men. On the back of each was a an embroidered heart that said "Meant to BE" in the middle, but the BE was spelled "B+E" and the date our wedding was underneath. The back of Bella's said "Mrs. Cullen" while mine said "Mr. Cullen".

We asked for no gifts (which drove Alice nuts), and instead each person brought over their favorite dish to share tonight for our wedding feast. It was a nice way to relax after the wedding and spend time with everyone that Bella and I held dear to our hearts. We would be leaving on our Honeymoon the day after tomorrow. We would be gone for a week, but be back in time to help E.J. get ready to start the first grade. Our honeymoon was a surprise and I didn't give Bella any hints about it.

We were sitting on the couch with everyone else in the living room watching a DVD of the digital pictures that were taken by the photographer today. They were all beautiful and Bella and I were giving everyone a copy of the pictures. Bella was sitting between my legs on the couch and I had my hands wrapped around her waist. Just then our baby kicked again under my hands.

"Active today aren't we?" I murmured in Bella's ear.

She giggled, "just so excited that Mommy and Daddy got married."

I let my hand dip under the top of Bella's sweats and felt how hard her stomach was under my hand. I was still so surprised by how hard it got. Bella shivered as my hand rubbed along her bare flesh and our baby kicked again as I ran my hand over the same spot.

Bella twisted a little so she could look me in the eye. I couldn't help but smile as I looked down at her. My Bella, my love, she was officially mine forever. My beautiful wife. I don't know that I'll ever get used to the word.

"I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Forever."

I bent down and pressed my lips to hers softly before whispering back.

"I love you Isabella Marie Cullen."

**Well? Yes? No? One more chapter and then the epilogue! No worries, I'll give Bella and Edward some happy Honeymoon times. :-D Hmmm…any guesses on where they're going and any more guess about the baby?? Let me know what you think please? I would love to hear from all of you at least one more time before I finish the story. :-D **


	33. Chapter 32: Life After You

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: Thank you for reading & reviewing…here we are, the last full chapter and then the epilogue! Enjoy! :-D Oh, and pictures that go with this story are on my homepage. You can find the link on my profile! Check them out! **

_**All that I'm after**_

_**Is a life full of laughter**_

_**As long as I'm laughing with you**_

_**And I'm thinkin' that**_

_**All that still matters**_

_**Is love ever after**_

_**After the life we've been through, yeah**_

_**I know there's no life after you**_

_**-Daughtry, "Life After You"**_

Chapter 32: Life After You

_**EPOV**_

I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could and slipped my boxers back on. My beautiful wife was still sleeping soundly when I had returned from the bathroom, but Bella had now shifted onto her side. Our honeymoon had been amazing so far and if I was being honest, we hardly left our room.

While I had planned everything in terms of where we were going and where we were staying, my mother and father surprised Bella and I by renting us a private jet to get there. We had two days left in our stay here on Martha's Vineyard and today I figured Bella and I should get out and at least see some of the island while we were here. I had gotten us a place to stay at the Thorncroft Inn. Bella nearly fainted when she saw it. I told her I rented a room…and in truth they referred to it as Room #15. What I didn't tell Bella was that Room #15 was a private cottage apart from the Inn.

The cottage was perfect and provided Bella and I with the privacy and alone time that we were both craving. E.J. had a very hard time understanding why Bella and I were taking a trip without him. Neither one of us was sure how to explain to him what exactly a honeymoon was, but fortunately we were saved by my mother. While she didn't explain what a honeymoon was, she reminded E.J. that while Bella and I were gone, he and Nessie were staying with "Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme" and Kate and Garrett were sleeping over for a few nights as well. Bella and I still hadn't sold my old apartment, and my mother and father stayed there whenever they came to the city. Last I spoke with my son, he was having a grand old time…and my father was spoiling the heck out of him. Bella was not going to be pleased about that.

The embers from the fire I had lit last night were still smoldering in the fireplace and the morning light was filtering in through the blinds. Bella's naked body was lit from behind and the reds in her hair were dancing in the light. The sheet was pooled around her waist and her arm was strewn across her breasts hiding them from me. She reminded me of a goddess as she lay there and I couldn't help but take a picture. Her belly seemed like it had grown even more and she was now around 23 weeks pregnant. It seemed nearly impossible for me to keep my hands off of her stomach.

"Are you taking pictures of me?"

I was brought back from my thoughts as I watched Bella draw the sheets up to her chest. I couldn't help but grin.

"I couldn't help it," I said as I lay the camera down on the bedside table, "My wife just looks so beautiful when she sleeps."

"Only when she sleeps?" Bella fake pouted at me. I smiled as I crawled over the king sized bed and lay down next to her over the covers.

"She looks beautiful all the time," I whispered before pressing my lips to hers. Bella hummed in pleasure before she pushed my shoulders gently.

"No fair…you brushed your teeth already."

I chuckled and lay down next to her, pushing her hair off of her face. "What did you want to do today love? Shall we go explore the island?"

"I'd like that," Bella giggled, "Especially since we haven't really seen anything beyond the yard!"

"Okay," I whispered, leaning forward and nuzzling her neck, "We can walk down to the beach, maybe go look at the shops?"

"That sounds great," Bella whispered back, her lips starting to trail along my neck.

I chuckled, "None of that Mrs. Cullen. We're getting out of the room today!"

Bella pouted when I slipped off the bed, "I'm going to order us breakfast while you get ready. What would you like and baby like this morning? Eggs again?"

Thanks to her growing stomach, Bella was slow to sit up but gave me a smile before she disappeared into the bathroom. I found a pair of khaki cargo shorts to throw on before I called the front desk to have them deliver our breakfast. I got Bella her scrambled eggs and bacon while I decided on the French toast with fresh fruit. I heard the shower turn on and decided to go wait outside on the covered deck. I couldn't help but smirk when my gaze fell on the hammock next to my chair.

Bella and I were certainly celebrating our marriage…multiple times a day in fact. One night, around twilight, Bella and I had been lying in the hammock, her back against my chest, and my hands resting on her stomach. One thing led to another, and though I hated the position, I ended up taking Bella from behind as we let the swaying motion of the hammock rock us. Honestly, I'm a little amazed we didn't fall out.

I smiled when I saw our breakfast coming. Mary and her boyfriend John were working at the Inn for the summer. Mary's mother worked at the front desk and Mary had delivered breakfast for Bella and I every day of our trip so far. John started coming with her after Mary had tripped while bringing our breakfast one morning and ended up mildly twisting her ankle. John refused to let her come by herself after that.

"Good morning Edward!" Mary called as they got closer. They were both 17 years old and starting their senior year of high school here on the island.

"Good morning," I called as I stood up. Mary's eyes widened and John's narrowed, then it was my turn to blush slightly as I realized I had yet to put on a shirt.

"I'll be right back," I called out, before disappearing inside to grab a shirt. I threw on a white button up and was rolling the sleeves up to my elbows when Bella came out of the bathroom.

She was in a baby blue sleeveless dress that Alice had designed for her. The empire waist and flowing skirt draped nicely over her baby bump. I loved that she never hid her bump from me. She looked so beautiful. I guess I had been standing there admiring her for too long because soon Bella giggled and she was saying hello to Mary and John.

I turned and saw Mary trying to stifle a laugh as John stood with his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Good morning Bella," Mary said, a giggle escaping, "I'm sure _you_ heard me, but your breakfast is all ready out on the deck."

I could feel my face heating as Bella, Mary, and even John all laughed. Bella came and wrapped her arms around my waist as best she could.

"Hey, can you blame me?" I asked, "Bella looks beautiful in this dress."

I could feel the heat on Bella's cheeks through the thin shirt I was wearing and I knew she was blushing. Mary and John both laughed.

"You do look very nice today Bella," John chuckled.

"I really do love your dress," Mary said excitedly, reminding me of a certain other Mary _Alice_ that we knew.

"Thank you," Bella said shyly.

"Well," John said, "We gotta get back to the front desk. You two have a good day."

Mary squealed as John picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"JOHN!"

He chuckled as he walked down the pathway from our cottage, putting Mary down, only to have her jump on his back and he piggy backed her out of our view. Bella and I had walked out onto the deck and watched them go.

"Don't they remind you of Alice and Jasper?" Bella chuckled.

I nodded. They really were a lot like our two friends, except John had black hair and blue eyes while Mary was blond and blue eyed.

"Can we give everyone a call later this afternoon?" Bella asked as she sat and began to dig into her eggs.

"Sure," I nodded, knowing Bella really meant E.J. when she said 'everyone'. This was the longest she had ever been away from him and I knew the pregnancy was doing all kinds of crazy things to her hormones, and she was really missing our son.

The rest of breakfast passed quietly and Bella packed a cardigan into her bag before we headed out towards the beach. The Inn was only a block or two away and soon Bella and I found ourselves at Owen Park Beach.

The water was too cold for Bella's liking, though I really didn't mind since I thought the water at First Beach was colder than this, but I stayed on the shore with Bella. We were near a harbor so Bella and I watched the boats and also walked in the sand. We spent our time walking in the shallow waves near the shore and also walking along to beach to see if we could find any good shells for E.J.

It wasn't too windy on the beach so we decided that now would be a good enough time as any to give E.J. a call. Bella was excited as she waited for the phone to pick up.

"Hello?...Hi Esme, it's Bella!"

My wife's smile was beaming as she continued to talk to my mother. _My wife_. I don't know that I would ever get used to calling Bella my wife…I felt like calling her my wife wasn't enough. She was so much more than that. She was my other half, my soulmate…she was my life, my forever. Bella sat between my legs as we sat staring out at the ocean. It was beautiful here and yet another thing I was thankful that I was getting to see. Bella was leaning back against my chest as my hands rubbed her stomach. Our baby was usually pretty active in the afternoon and hadn't caused Bella to get morning sickness. Bella said that E.J. had been the same…thus she was positive that we were having another boy. We hadn't really discussed names too much. All we knew was that the baby was due around Christmas. I couldn't believe it at first, and Bella burst into tears…of joy thank goodness. It appeared that E.J. would be getting his Christmas wish after all.

"Edward," Bella said, interrupting my thoughts, "E.J. wants to talk to you."

I smiled and kissed her temple before I took the phone from her.

"Hey E.J."

"DADDY!" E.J. squealed and I grimaced, holding the phone away from my ear. Sometimes he had a hard time remembering that my hearing was so sensitive.

"Hey buddy," I chuckled.

"Did Mommy tell you that Grandpa Carlisle took me to Dylan's Candy Bar again?"

I groaned, "He took you again?"

Bella turned to look at me, raising a brow in question. I mouthed "later" to her.

"Yeah, but I promise I didn't get stuff for me. Grandpa and I got stuff for you and Mommy."

"Oh really?"

"Yup, but it's a surprise Daddy. Grandpa told me all about your favorite candies."

"Okay," I chuckled, "I can't wait buddy…what else have you been doing?"

E.J. went on to tell me about how he and Nessie had been learning how to cook and bake with my mother and they went to the park every day. Garrett and Kate had slept over the two previous nights and tonight it was just E.J. and Nessie again. Jacob and Seth took a trip themselves and were down in Atlantic City.

"When are you and Mommy coming home?"

"We'll be home in two days E.J."

"Okay…" E.J. said, his voice sad, "And then you promise to take me to the park and play catch?"

"I promise buddy. We can go every day until school starts if you want."

"Okay…I miss you Daddy."

"I miss you too son. Mommy and I will be home in a couple of days."

"Can I say bye to Mommy?"

"All right. I love you son."

"Love you Daddy."

I waited patiently as Bella said her goodbye. While we had both craved the time alone, we were both eager to get home to see E.J. again. Not to mention our other friends and family. After Bella hung up she decided that she and "little nudger" were hungry so we set off down Main Street looking for a place to eat. Bella decided on pizza and we happily shared one together.

Since we were leaving in two days, Bella decided that we better get our shopping done and find gifts for everyone back home. We walked down Main Street, stopping to look at all of the little stores. Bella got lost in a little bookstore for quite some time before realizing that we had to get other gift. We found a jewelry store with little charms and necklaces for all of the women and we got Nessie a little charm bracelet. There was a toy store that we found some things for E.J. as well as the baby, and we also found this little store called Rainy Day that had some things for my parents.

While Bella was distracted looking at things for my parents, I wandered away to the baby section and got lost looking at everything. I couldn't believe that in a few months that Bella and I would be parents again. I was still nervous about taking care of something so tiny…but Emmett assured me that I was good with T.J., good with E.J., and I would good with the new little Cullen as well.

I had come to a wall with stuffed animals and for once I had to agree with Alice. Not knowing the sex of the baby was sort of a pain. Things were so separated by color or you could distinctly see that something was made for a girl and not a boy. I sighed as I let my gaze wander over the various toys. I was helping Bella and Alice decorate the baby's room, but mostly I was letting Bella make all of the decisions. I wanted to get our baby something that they would hang on to for a long time. It made me chuckle that the baseball glove I had given E.J. was always under his pillow when he went to bed.

My gaze caught on a stuffed animal bunny that I decided looked like it could actually be for either a girl or a boy. The face was adorable and I could see a little girl with Bella's big brown eyes dragging it behind her as she walked down the hallway. I could also see a little boy who looked like E.J. doing the same. The face was a light blue and the ears were green. Its body was made up of stripes of blue, green, white, grey, and orange. I picked it up and looked around for Bella. She seemed preoccupied looking at some soaps and lotions so I quickly went to pay.

Just as the cashier was passing me the bag, Bella was next to me with her little basket full of gifts.

"What did you buy?" She asked, trying to peek inside.

"Ah ah…it's a surprise and I'll show you when we get back to the Inn to get ready for dinner."

Bella pouted but went on to pay for her items. My arms were draped in bags as we walked back to the Inn, but I didn't mind carrying them all. Bella tried to protest of course, but I rubbed her stomach and reminded her that she was carrying a much more precious item. She didn't complain again.

Bella sat down in one of the plush chairs in front of our fireplace.

"Let me see what you bought!"

I chuckled, "Impatient are we? I got something for our little nudger."

"You did?" Bella gasped and I saw her eyes turn glassy. I hated seeing her cry, whether she was happy or not. Damn these hormones!

"Tell me what you think?" I asked softly as I passed Bella the bag. I waited and twisted my fingers around each other. When Bella pulled the bunny out of the bag she gasped loudly and the tears poured over her cheeks.

"Oh Edward!" Bella cried, "It's perfect! For a little boy or a little girl!"

Bella held her arms out to me and I knelt down and wrapped my arms around her frame.

"I'm glad you like it love," I whispered.

"I love it Edward."

Bella gasped and pulled back, quickly fumbling for my hand and placing it on her stomach. I couldn't help but smile every time I felt our baby kicking.

"Our little nudger likes it too," Bella whispered.

"Good," I murmured, moving and brushing my lips along Bella's jaw. She moaned loudly.

"Edward…"

"What is it?" I asked as I continued on my path towards her lips.

"I'm hungry…"

"Me too…" I growled.

"For…food…" Bella panted.

"Are you certain?"

"Y-yes…"

"Fine."

I drew back and sat on my knees, the zipper in my shorts digging painfully into my skin. Who was I to deny my pregnant wife and baby food? She was giving me something far more important right? Right…

Bella and I decided to dress a little nicer for dinner, her in another dress designed by Alice, this time it was black and more form fitting. I wore some black dress pants and a grey button down. We walked since it was around twilight and there was still some light in the air. The restaurant was quaint and called Zephrus. It reminded me a lot of the cafes in Port Angeles.

We had decided to share soup and an appetizer. I was working out a lot more recently because whenever Bella went to eat we always ended up with a lot of food in front of us. Bella decided on the corn chowder and a tomato tartlette. For our entrées Bella got the special island pastured chicken breast while I got the Vineyard scallop risotto. Everything was delicious and while I was stuffed, Bella was craving something sweet and we ended up splitting a flourless chocolate mousse…well, I had a bite anyway. Even if I wasn't full I don't think Bella would've let me eat much of the mousse anyway.

There were still a few of people walking around Main Street when Bella and I finished. Most of them were tourist and we ran into a couple that was staying at the same Inn as us. The night was clear and Bella and I were walking slowly, our fingers intertwined and our hands swinging back and forth between our bodies.

I didn't want to assume that anything was going to happen tonight when we got back to the room. Bella wasn't joking when she said that the pregnancy would make her horny, but I never wanted to push her either. I had just closed the door to the room and locked it for the night when I found myself being pulled and then pushed back against the door and Bella attacking my mouth and neck.

"Bella…baby…what-"

"I want you Edward…" Bella nearly growled against my neck, her tiny hands beginning to fumble and pull at the buttons on my shirt. She growled again and ripped my shirt open, buttons flying everywhere.

"Bella!" I chuckled, surprised at her boldness, "Slow down baby."

When we were finally able to slow down and breathe, we took our time removing the rest of our clothes. I lay her back on the bed and took my time worshiping her curves as I always did. My lips traced her nipples and Bella moaned loudly.

"Edward…please…"

I smirked against her skin as my lips brushed her stomach. Bella's hands were tugging on my hair and I slowly crawled back up her body like she wished, my lips finding hers. Due to her growing bump I was bent at a bit of an odd angle, not wanting to put any heavy pressure on her stomach. Bella smiled when I pulled away and she pushed on my shoulders, wanting me to lay back. I quirked my brow at her as I obeyed and lay down. She hadn't been a huge fan of being on top lately. Something about feeling like she was fat and things were jiggling. The only things that were jiggling were her breasts and I certainly wasn't complaining about that. I loved this position since the first time we made love after we had found each other again, and I loved it even more now. My hands could run all over her stomach and breasts and it left her in control, where I didn't have to worry about crushing her.

Bella bit her lip as she straddled my waist, her soaking center resting on my hips. I groaned when I felt how wet she was. I was throbbing and desperate for relief that only she could give me now days. Bella shifted and took my hands in hers, placing a kiss in my left palm before placing both hands on her waist.

Our united moans filled the room as Bella sank down on me and I filled her completely. It didn't take long for Bella to start a steady rhythm that had the both of us panting and moaning uncontrollably. I knew Bella was getting close because she started to move unevenly and her moans turned into whimpers. My hands that had been roaming her breasts and stomach found her hips as I helped her.

"Ed...Edward…" Bella whimpered.

"Come with me love," I grunted, beginning to meet her thrusts, the familiar tightening in my lower region growing.

Bella cried out as I felt her begin to spasm around me and it only took three more thrusts before I fell off the edge as well, crying out her name loudly. We somehow managed to stay connected as I helped Bella to lay on her side, her stomach pressed tightly between us. Both of us were panting heavily and our hands were smoothing over each other's sweaty skin.

"I…love…you…" Bella panted out.

"I love you too…both of you," I breathed out heavily.

We lay together for a few more minutes, coming down and enjoying our moments alone. While I loved being with Bella and not having to worry about how loud we were getting or E.J. walking in, I missed our son. Our family wasn't complete without him.

Our shower turned into a grope fest as usual, but I could tell that Bella was tired out from today, so I kept my hands to myself. Though her eyes were getting droopy, that didn't stop Bella's hands from roaming my body and relieving me of a certain problem that always seems to pop up when my Bella is around. After drying each other off quite thoroughly (and me threatening Bella's sneaky hands as she tried to rile me up again), I carried Bella to bed and we lay on our sides facing each other.

"You make me so happy Edward…" Bella sighed softly.

"That's what I live for," I chuckled, my knuckles dragging along her stomach.

"Do you know how much I love being your wife? Being Isabella Cullen?"

"Probably just as much as I love being your husband."

"Mmmm…more than that. You're my life Edward Cullen…you've always been my life," Bella smiled, her hand coming up and stroking my cheek.

"You're my forever," I murmured.

"I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"I love you Isabella Marie Cullen."

Bella smiled at me before inching forward and pressing her lips to mine. She was exhausted from our day and soon she was snuggled up next to me fast asleep. The light coming through our windows was faint, but I could still make out every curve of her body. I let my eyes memorize every line, every curve, every freckle…if someone ever asks me what I think perfection is, I would tell them perfection is my wife.

I watched Bella for almost an hour, my mind not ready to rest. I slipped out of bed without disturbing her and slipping some boxers on before going to light a fire in the fireplace. Deciding to read a little bit, I went back to my bag and slipped out the book I had chosen to bring. Bella didn't know that I was reading her last journal again. I was going to stop before her final entry, but everyone before that chronicled a time where we were the happiest with our relationship. It was her entry from the beginning of May that always made my heart swell with the knowledge of just how much she loved me even when we were just 18 years old. It also further proved in my mind, that Isabella Swan was always destined to be mine, that there was nothing in this world that would keep us apart.

_May 2__nd__, 2002_

_I don't know where to begin. I know that I grow more scared with each day that brings Edward and I closer to July 7__th__, but at the same time, my excitement for the future is growing as well. Does that make sense? I'm trying not to think of everything that could go wrong during the surgery. My mind is buzzing with all that is going on. Edward and I are both set to attend NYU in a year, and I went with Angela to get my prom dress yesterday. Everything is changing and I'm both looking forward to it, and terrified of it._

_My Edward always knows how to placate me. He doesn't let me mention anything negative about the surgery, and I try not to for his sake as well. I can't even imagine how scared he is about all of this. I just don't want anything to happen to him. If…if…I can't even write it. There is no future for me without Edward. _

_He surprised me today by asking me if I ever wanted to marry him. I thought he was going to bring out a ring. I have to admit that I was disappointed that he didn't have one. I was never one of those little girls who played dress up or had their dream wedding planned out, but after talking with Edward, I couldn't stop thinking about it._

_I know I want to get married somewhere scenic, somewhere that Edward will always remember seeing. Only our closest friends and family will be there, and Edward will look so handsome in his tuxedo. He thinks we are too young right now, and I have to agree with him. We're moving to New York City eventually and Edward will be working so hard adjusting to his new eyesight. He suggested we get married at 20 since neither of us were to hip on drinking and we didn't want a big wedding. Two years…in two years I'll be Mrs. Edward Cullen. All I know is that I want a life full of laughter and happiness, and I won't have that unless I'm with Edward. There is no one else out there for me._

_One day, I think I may sit down and write a book about our story. It almost seems like something out of a movie or a fairy tale. I know this surgery is going to work for Edward and the fact that we love each other so unconditionally regardless of his lack of sight, I think it makes for a romantic story. Love truly is blind. We were both so young the first time I laid my eyes on Edward Cullen, but even then, I knew there was something special about him. I knew he was destined to be with me. I'll write more soon._

I sighed and shut the journal quietly. Even when she was 10 years old, Bella knew that there was something different about our relationship. As I placed the journal back in my bag and pulled my boxers off, I couldn't believe the journey Bella and I had been on, and if that wasn't enough to prove to me that Bella and I belonged together, then I don't know what was. We had achieved everything that we wanted when we were younger. We were married, we were parents, we lived in New York City together, we went to the Louvre and Paris…I had everything in my life that I could possibly want. I lay down next to Bella and she automatically scooted closer to me and pressed against my side. My hands instantly went to her stomach and rubbed softly. I look forward to setting new goals with Bella, to explore of life with her and our children. I couldn't wait to meet our baby and as I drifted off to sleep, I smiled, knowing that the first face I would see when I opened my eyes would be that of my beautiful wife, the woman that had always been the love of my life.

**Well? Yes? No? Short and sweet final complete chapter for you all. ~*sniff sniff*~ Just the epilogue left. Anyone want to weigh in with any last guess to the gender or even the NAME of the new baby Cullen?? :-P Let me know what you think, good or bad, pretty please? **


	34. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

**A/N: sniff sniff…okay, this is it. The epilogue. Longer a/n at the end. Are we prepared to meet the new baby Cullen? The song will give it away…enjoy!**

_**And when they got married and decided to have one of their own**_

_**She said, be honest, tell me what you want**_

_**And he said, honey you ought a know**_

_**A sweet, little, beautiful one just like you**_

_**I want a beautiful, wonderful, perfect All American…**_

_**Now, he's wrapped around her finger**_

_**She's the center of his whole world**_

_**And his heart belongs to that sweet, little, beautiful, wonderful, perfect**_

_**All American girl**_

_**-Carrie Underwood, "All-American Girl"**_

Epilogue: All-American Girl

_**EPOV**_

"Wake up Edward…"

I couldn't help but let a smile spread across my face. I kept my eyes closed as I felt Bella's soft kisses begin to trail across my chest.

"Don't start something you can't finish love…"

Bella giggled, "We have some time."

Before she could even blink, I turned and had her pinned beneath me. Her long mahogany hair fanned out behind her and her face was flushed as she laughed, her hands gripping my shoulders. She was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I growled as she began to nibble on her bottom lip. She knew what the sight of that did to me. I immediately leaned forward and captured her lips with mine. I moaned as Bella's hands buried themselves into my hair and raked along my scalp. Bella knew ever touch that made me moan and want her.

"Daddy!"

Bella and I both groaned as I let my forehead fall and rest on her shoulder.

"Are you kidding me…" I muttered.

"DADDY!"

This time the voice was accompanied by fists pounding on the our locked bedroom door. Bella giggled.

"Someone wants you."

I growled, "I want you."

"DADDY!"

I groaned and rolled off of Bella, pulling some boxers and jeans over my raging morning wood. Bella laughed as she slipped on some sweats and one of my t-shirts.

"I'll make it up to you tonight," she smiled as she walked over to our connecting bathroom.

"You better…" I growled playfully at her, walking towards our bedroom door, foregoing putting on a shirt. I pulled the door open and was immediately met with a pouting face.

"Daddy…you taked a long time."

"Took, baby. Daddy took a long time," I said as I bent down and picked up our daughter.

"Tooked a long time!" My daughter squealed, clapping her hands. I couldn't help but smile at her excitement.

"TOOK. Daddy took a long time," I repeated.

"Daddy took a long time!"

I smiled and began to pepper kisses all over her little face, her tiny hands clinging to neck. Her laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. I still couldn't believe that she was me and Bella's daughter. Little Noelle Elizabeth Cullen was born on December 25th, 2009. I couldn't believe that she was born on Christmas. It seemed unreal to me that E.J. got his wish for his little brother or sister to come as a Christmas present. Noelle hadn't been on the list of names for a girl that Bella and I originally had, but after she was born on Christmas, Bella loved the idea, and who was I to complain?

"Daddy, your birthday is today!" Noelle said as I carried her downstairs.

"It is," I smiled holding her to me tightly. I couldn't believe that today I was turning 30 years old. My life couldn't have felt more complete as I held our daughter in my arms, knowing that the love of my life was upstairs, and my son was running around somewhere downstairs.

While Bella was still the woman in my life, little Noelle had me completely wrapped around her little fingers. I spoiled her rotten. She was a basically a miniature Bella, the same pouty lips, button nose, blushing cheeks…she even had the same deep brown eyes that I was wishing for if we had a daughter. The only thing she really got from me was the color of her hair. She was blessed with the same bronze colored hair as E.J. and I. And at 3 years old, she was a smart little girl. Sure there were some grammar errors to work on, but she was smart. She loved it whenever Bella and I would read with her and she loved to draw and do art. E.J. still did some painting, but he was really starting to excel at baseball and soccer.

"E.J. and I made a surprise!" Noelle squealed as I stepped onto the bottom floor. We still lived in the same large penthouse apartment in New York City. Bella and I both agreed that it was a fine place to raise our children. Plus both of our jobs were here, our friends were here, and my parents visited all the time.

"Happy Birthday Daddy!" I smiled when E.J. came running out of the kitchen. He came and wrapped his arms around my stomach and gave me a hug. I couldn't believe that he was 10 years old now. He was looking more and more like me every day. Bella often told me it was like déjà vu for her, seeing E.J. at almost the same age I was when we met.

"Noelle and I made you breakfast!" E.J. shouted excitedly. I chuckled. E.J. was still full of energy, a lot like Alice. We were all excited that Alice and Jasper were expecting their first child in August. They were having a little girl. I think Jasper might've actually been even more excited about it than Alice…and that's saying something.

When I walked into the kitchen, my eyes almost bugged out of my head. The counter by the stove was a mess, and there were all kinds of pots and pans on the stove…but on the island counter, in the middle of the mess, sat a big plate full on French toast. I stamped down any irritation I had that the kids had been cooking in the kitchen unsupervised.

"Aunty Rosalie taught me how to make the French toast. Noelle helped me mix!" E.J. said proudly, smiling at the mess. I had to remind myself that this was a very big accomplishment for the both of them. The fact that E.J. and Noelle made breakfast together wasn't surprising to me. E.J. took his role as big brother very seriously from the moment Noelle was born. He loved her, always helping Bella and I take care of her when she was a baby, and he played with her all the time. They both loved to play with their cousin T.J. whenever Rosalie and Emmett would bring him over too.

"We cooked you and Mommy breakfast!" Noelle squealed. I cringed slightly. She still didn't quite comprehend that Daddy had very sensitive hearing.

"Oh my!" I heard from behind me and saw the Bella had now joined us and her eyes were wide, taking in the mess all around us.

"I'll clean it up Mommy," E.J. said rushing to her side.

Bella smiled down at him and ran a hand through his crazy hair. "I'll help you too baby. Thank you for surprising Daddy with breakfast!"

"Mommy!" Noelle clapped, her arms untangling themselves from around my neck and holding her arms out towards Bella.

Bella happily took our daughter from me and began peppering her face with kisses. It had been so overwhelming for me when Bella gave birth to our daughter. To be there in the room with her, to see our tiny daughter for the first time as she came screaming into the world, to see her tiny eyes open for the first time and look at me…it was an experience I'll never forget.

Noelle had been the perfect little baby for the most part. There were the early morning feedings of course, but she was practically perfect. Her first word was "Dad" and I ended up crying like I was the baby when I heard her say it. As she got older, I continued to paint from home. Alice and Jasper got married two years ago and Alice and I hired people to work at the store so we didn't have to be in every day. Bella wrote a lot and her next novel by Izzie McCarty was published in 2011, a psychological/supernatural love story that went straight to number 1 on the best sellers list. The movie adaptation is supposed to come out in the fall of this year.

Most of me and Bella's days when E.J. was in school were spent taking Noelle out to the park and to different museums and the zoo. We often met with Rosalie and T.J., and Angela and her twins, Marcus and Sam. It was crazy that T.J., Marcus, Sam, and Noelle were all so close in age. It was quite the event when we all would get together now. Nessie loved having another little girl around and she was always playing with Noelle when she came over too. Everyone was coming over later today to celebrate my birthday. It was sure to be chaotic, but fun.

"Do you like your breakfast Daddy?" E.J. asked me, bringing me back into the present.

I smiled at my son, and then my daughter, both looking at me expectantly. "It's delicious kids. Thank you."

When we had finished eating I helped everyone clean the kitchen. I was met with heavy protests, but the kids agreed to let me help once I pointed out that the quicker we cleaned up the quicker I could open the presents that they were excited about me seeing.

I sat on the couch, Bella cuddled to one side, E.J. on the other, and Noelle sitting in my lap. I took a moment to take in just this moment of having my family surrounding me. There was nothing more that I wanted in this world other than being surrounded by my wife and my children. My Bella…after nearly 20 years, we were together. After everything we had been through, the separation, the hurt, the tears…we found each other, finally living out the happily ever after Bella had given her characters in her book Love Story. Our own love story may have had its hardships along the way, but it made us stronger, and proved that we belonged with each other.

I felt Bella shift and her mouth was brushing against my ear.

"I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"I love you Isabella Marie Cullen…" I whispered back, "Forever."

The End

**Well? Yes? No? There is your answer about the new baby Cullen. I had Noelle planned for a very long time. :-P **

**That's it, no sequel. Feel free to imagine what you'd like in the three years that passed while Noelle was growing up, and what will happen to everyone in the future. Just know that everyone always gets their happily ever after in my FF world. :-) **

**Thank you to any and everyone that EVER reviewed or read this story. Thank you everyone that ever added this story to their favorites. Thank you to everyone who ever put this story on story alert. And thank you to everyone that put me on author alert. I hope you will check out my other stories. I am declaring this story complete, and I thank you all for reading. I don't know who's still with me, but I know for sure I need to thank ajenc. She has stuck with me from the very beginning of this story. Also, teamswitzerlandmom for being one of the most awesome reviewers and supporters. The two of you helped me to keep going with this story and not give up. :- )**

**So one last time, let me know what you guys thought, good or bad, pretty please? Thank you again!**

**~NoelleSeven **


	35. AN

Not a new chapter and for that I apologize.

This is purely me being preemptive (and I suppose paranoid). As I'm sure by now, you've ALL had a story that you've been following on FF (and adore) disappear on you correct? FF is apparently going through all M rated (and I just found out T rated ones too) and removing any that violate the Terms of Service.

Stories that feature sex/sexual acts (graphic or not), language, drugs, alcohol, rape, abuse, cutting, homosexuality, etc. are being targeted and cracked down on.

I'm not saying that my stories will be taken down, but I have a feeling they could if FF is being really thorough about all of this. For now, I will leave them up on FF, but should I get the notice to remove them, I will.

Rest assured that I am not going to quit writing them, especially not "Whatever It Takes". True, this is very irritating to think about both as a reader and a writer, but quitting is like letting the people who started complaining in the first place win. I will find another place to host my stories, and when I do, I will post where they are in my profile. BUT for now, my stories will remain here. Just remember if they disappear, check the profile.

If this is the first that you're hearing about all of this nonsense, check out these two links:

Melinda the Proud Bookworm's profile at: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1846010/

-she has a very good explanation about what is going on posted in her profile.

Shortbritches85 also put together a petition I mentioned previously. She has also compiled a list of popular stories that have been removed and where they reside now. Check it out here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5734048/1/Petition

Well, hopefully I'll see you all again on here. Though with the way my stories are headed, maybe not. Stay tuned.


End file.
